Sulaiman Moola – Developing A Generation Of Excellence
AI: Summary ©
The importance of fitna and battle in Islam is emphasized, as it can lead to addiction and sharia's focus on preserving religion and human races. The use of mobile phones and the use of words and actions can lead to negative emotions and relationships, including negative relationships and tension in relationships. The importance of building a healthy home, avoiding negative consequences, and finding one's own happiness is emphasized. The negative impact of Assia's desire for love and passion for happiness led to the misery of people's lives and the importance of love and empathy in relationships. The speakers emphasize the importance of resisting sin, finding one's own happiness, and creating a home for Arabic speakers.AI: Transcript ©
The deceptive nature of battle.
And
says that the
used to prefer
reciting these couplets at the time of
because battle and
in its deception
has a sense of similarity.
Now can you imagine the relevance of these
couplets today
when the is gripped with both a battle
and fitna?
So,
the great poet,
had initially,
composed these couplets
sketching out the deceptive nature of battle.
In essence, he says, when battle starts, likewise
fitna, it looks attractive.
And he likens it to a young, beautiful,
attractive girl.
How often do you youth say this is
trending? This is new. Try this. Explore this.
Browse on this year. Sign up for this
year. There's an element of excitement. It intrigues
you. It attracts you. Sometimes innocence.
Sometimes curiosity.
Sometimes adventure.
Battle in its inception
presents like a young beautiful girl.
In its inception
presents like someone beautiful and attraction attractive.
Every naive, foolish, vulnerable person is just drawn
in.
But as you get close and the heat
becomes intense and the flame starts blazing, you
realize this is far from beauty and far
from young.
It be you realize it's someone old, aged,
frail,
with no companion, no partnership, no loyalty.
And the very thing to which you were
going head on, now you're trying to come
out, but unfortunately, you've been overwhelmed, you've been
gripped, and you simply cannot come out of
it.
There's a man who unfortunately has succumbed to
substance abuse,
and I try and keep contact with him.
And as the time progresses and, InshaAllah, hopefully,
I've been given a list to speak on
so many things. So I hope I can
encapsulate it in my address.
Every time I meet him, I ask him,
is there one advice that you can give
the people? You've now ended up on the
streets, unfortunately.
And obviously, you don't like the life that
you are living and neither would your family
like to see you, but the brutal truth
is you are on the streets. Is there
one single piece of advice
that you can give to anyone out there,
young, adolescent,
vulnerable, susceptible,
still exploring the earth, finding his wings, trying
to, you know,
enjoy life.
He says, tell them to deny and decline
the first temptation.
That's it.
Once you have a choice
for the first time. After that, it's an
addiction.
After that, it's just free falling. May Allah
protect us.
So that's the nature of fitna and that's
the nature of battle. And the prophet
said before qiyama,
there will be types of fitna that will
grip you.
That it would
veil your sanity.
It would block your logic. It will obscure
your vision.
You would just be, you know what,
drawn into it. It probably pops up on
your screen
and, casually, you're just browsing through it, and
you just move into that site. And, unfortunately,
you are addicted.
Yesterday, I had a call from a sister,
a message that had come through that, unfortunately,
repeatedly,
she happened to get exposure to the
device of her husband.
And unfortunately, there's been a * addiction that
has persisted from the inception of the marriage.
And unfortunately, typically, commonly, averagely, you start lying
and one lie leads to another lie.
As the Arabic proverb says, no liar is
good enough to remember his lies.
No liar has a good enough memory to
remember his lies. No. No. It's not my
phone. Somebody else took it. I'm not sure
who did it. And one thing to another.
When we look at the teachings of Islam,
that's just as a preamble to my talk,
then every one of us
by birth without exception
was born with the absolute ability and inclination
towards truth.
Let's be clear on this here.
Every one of us by inception, by birth,
Allah dispatched us onto earth
in a manner that we all were inclining
intrinsically,
inherently towards nobility, purity, and Islam.
As the hadith
says, The Quran says, it's the natural religion
with which Allah
has created us. Imam Muslim makes mention of
the hadith under the chapter
The qualities which distinguish the occupants of *
from the dwellers of paradise. May Allah make
us from the people of paradise and save
us from the occupants of *.
Hadith is in Sahih Muslim that's the chain
of narration. The prophet
addressing the congregation
and the assembly of the sahaba said that
Allah himself says and I'm just extracting one
caption of the hadith so that we could
make progress on the other aspects that we
need to discuss.
I created
every servant of mine
with the total
ability to embrace truth.
I often say without fear of contradiction
that amongst the many logical proofs
to the veracity
of Islam
is the perfect synchronization
of the tenets of Islam with the human
anatomy.
So you will find no discrepancy,
no disparity,
no dichotomy
between the human composition
and the injunctions of Islam.
Because the very Allah who created me and
you legislated our deen.
Sometimes you buy a house which is very
amazing, but it's not practical.
Because the man who designed it, designed it
for himself, not for you. So it's awesome.
It has a brilliant view, but it doesn't
suit your interest. You've got an elderly parent.
You need a ramp. You probably have someone
else with a certain challenge. So it's great.
The aesthetics, the decor, the layout, the view.
But it's not tailor made for your interests.
There is no dichotomy
between the human makeup and the laws of
Islam.
Everything is in perfect harmony and synchronization.
And if perchance
you find yourself frowning or objecting
on any of the aspects of deen, be
it inheritance,
be it the prohibition of drugs,
be it polygamy,
then this is due to external influence
which has obscured
your lenses
and compromised the purity of your vision.
There's external influence
that has blurred. It's made it foggy.
So now your view is not clear.
To benefit the human race in this world
and the latter.
Furthermore, he writes,
When we say that the Sharia has been
designed to benefit the bondsman and the bonds
woman,
then to qualify that statement it means to
benefit us
as defined by Allah and not as defined
by us.
So father tells his son, the shop,
this factory, this warehouse, this empire, this is
yours, my son.
So he says, then give it to me.
He said, no. No. It's yours on the
time I decide with the conditions I decide
and in the manner I decide.
I will relinquish
at the time I see authority, responsibility,
maturity, commitment. That's the time. Allah has designed
the laws of Sharia and
in its limitations
and restrictions
there's wholesome freedom.
And in the apparent freedom of others, there's
nothing but destruction.
Imam Shattbi writes,
every rule, every law, every command, every injunction
of Allah
is either to save you from some harm
or to attract some benefit or simultaneously
to give you both.
This is a very academic and an intricate
point.
The Sharia by design
does not intend
anything difficult,
complex or cumbersome.
Leave alone being colossal or mammoth or daunting
for the humans.
The sharia by design
does not intend
anything difficult or complex for the servant.
Just like
a medical practitioner or a surgeon
whose
function is to operate, to cut, to take
you into theater.
His aim is not the operation.
His aim is the cure. His aim is
not the bitter medication.
His aim is the treatment.
The sharia doesn't want to burden you. The
sharia wants to discipline you. Part of the
discipline process is that, yes, you'll have to
sleep early, you'll have to rise early, you'll
have to donate so much, you'll have to
lower your gaze, you'll have to limit your
food, you'll have to manage your diet. This
discipline is to save you from other harms
in this world.
If you study, I don't want to it's
a whole academic thing that last year I
had the privilege to study.
In fact, Imam Shatbih says for a mufti,
one of the fundamental things is he has
to become an authority on the Maqasid of
Sharia.
Understanding the objectives of Sharia before he can
pronounce any judgment.
So primarily,
primarily,
the Sharia
focuses on 5 things
which we refer to as
5 things is the primary focus of the
Sharia.
Number
1,
The preservation of religion.
And hence the Sharia says, if your religion
is a threat and someone is opposing you
and denying you, then you need to resist.
Those who were driven out of their homes
because the only crime and offense was they
believed in Allah. Like today, so many sisters,
only offense is that she is dressed modestly.
And it becomes,
a sore
sight for many people.
Imam Shafi'i said,
If my crime is loving Muhammad sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, then I want to be very
bold. This is a crime from which I
won't repent. I'm proud of this offense.
So Islam primarily focuses on 5 things, the
preservation of religion.
The preservation of religion. Islam recognizes
to coexist
with non muslims
in a common economy, in a common setting,
allowing tolerance, respect,
mutual cooperation, mutual existence.
The sharia speaks about 4 types of relationships.
It's a whole academic
explanation in its great detailed form, the different
types of interaction.
Then you have hifafatun
nafs,
the preservation of human life.
Human life needs to be sacred. Well, it's
not longer it's not sacred anymore.
It's not sacred anymore, unfortunately.
We have slogans. We have organizations.
We have entities.
But it's it's there's a void. It's empty.
Nothing. How many thousands of people are dying
and you're seeing this here and you're still
debating the term and the definition?
So kifada to nafs,
that's the second focus of the sharia.
Hence, Islam legislates
a penalty, a consequences.
If you claim someone's life, you injure someone,
there's consequences, there's repercussions.
You cannot murder, you cannot kill, you cannot
harm, you cannot injure, you cannot maim someone
and just be acquitted.
There's consequences.
Then Islam speaks about
the preservation of intellect. So the entire Sharia
evolves around these 5 things.
The preservation of human intellect
and hence the prohibition of intoxicants.
Because the sharia wants
you to be functional,
sober, and sane at all times. Now, I
don't want to go into iftar here, but
I need to share something important. In
writes one place.
The difference between
ileat and hikmat.
Ileat is the reason hikmat is the wisdom.
The laws of Islam operate on its
not on its hikmat.
The rules of Islam operate and are based
and revolve around the reasoning
and not the wisdom behind it.
The wisdom
is the intended
benefit
that you would achieve and accomplish when you
practice upon it.
So he gives 2 analogies. 1, let's be
relevant to the context of intoxicants because that's
one of our topics.
And this has plagued every home.
It is just like a guttering fire.
When it hit home,
I've been involved and helping and counseling for
the last 15, 20 years.
I say to my brother and I say
to my sister,
of course, we will address our youth to
become conscious, to become responsible,
and to understand the consequences of this year.
But at that time,
the moment is too serious
and the situation
is
critical.
We have to rise above
the bigger difference
and the bigger the the the minor bickerings
and differences we have, and we need to
get the patient admitted
ASAP.
I know it's a stigma,
and I know it's a taboo to say
my son has been admitted
or your son is in a facility or
you wanna rather choose to use a more
euphemistic
expression, it's a medical, it's a wellness center,
it's there to give him some form of
relaxation, whatever it is, I do appreciate it.
We're living in a common society. I have
young kids. You have young kids. But at
the moment, the issue is too serious. The
siren is coming. The ambulance is coming. The
alarm bells are
have been sounded off. The issue is too
important for us to still,
you know, what? Limit ourselves to our minor
issues. We have to rise above.
He needs to be admitted right now. We'll
deal with whatever afterwards.
So he gives the analogy
to consume
alcohol is forbidden.
Why?
Because it's an intoxicant.
What is the wisdom of it?
To protect the human intellect from it being
overpowered,
to incapacitate
him, to give him a paralysis,
to create mental
impairment.
That's the wisdom.
But the ruling is not based on the
wisdom.
The ruling is based on the reasoning.
The reasoning is that this is an intoxicant,
hence, it is forbidden.
So if somebody counterargues and say, you know
what? I'm a functional addict.
I'm a functional addict.
Yeah.
Nobody who's on the street
believed he would end up on the street.
Nobody whose marriage broke up thought his marriage
will break up.
I know when you came out of the
rehab you phoned me and you asked me
to convince your your wife, but I don't
have a face to ask her to give
you a chance anymore.
She's exhausted.
She started a life with a good future
or what optimistic of a good future.
So the wisdom is to save the brain
from
from from, you know, deteriorating.
But the ruling
will not operate based on the wisdom.
It goes on the and not on the
hikmat. And then he gives another analogy
just like traffic lights.
The red light is to stop so that,
you know what, the traffic on the other
side could flow to avoid a collision,
to avoid an accident.
So would it be correct then to say
that given the wisdom
of the lights that this one needs to
hold, that one needs to flow. So if
I come here and it's a red light
and there is no traffic flowing,
then there's no wisdom for me to stop
here now because there is no fear of
a collision. Can I continue on a red
light? South Africa as an exception.
Obviously
not. The rule operates on the.
I had a sister recently. Why why should
I be in edit?
I can't fall pregnant. There's no there's no
need to verify if I'm pregnant or not.
Yes. That's given as a hikmat. That's not
the illah. You have to be in ridda
because he divorced you. If he did it
wrongly, that will be his consequences.
But after talaq, the Quran says there's itat
for you. Your husband has passed on, the
Quran said there is itat for you.
So it's important to distinguish between illat and
hikmat.
Because, of course, our youth today think they're
smart, think they're wise. You assume you calculated.
You assume you're functional.
I told you of the young man who
came to me and he said that,
I think cannabis
is permissible.
So I'm like, okay.
What's up, bro?
He's like, if it's forbidden, why does Allah
allow it to grow?
I thought you could be smarter than that.
But, anyway, let's say that that's what it
is. So I said to him, so if
the teacher gives you
a questionnaire
and he says choose the correct answer, so
then all the answers are correct.
Or is the fact that choose suggestive of
the fact that one is correct?
You say, hey, you smart,
So the third thing is.
The deen, in its pristine, original, unadulterated
form, has been revealed,
preserved, transmitted,
and it focuses on the preservation of the
human intellect. Wow.
Subhanallah.
Wow. What a rich deen. What a wholesome
religion.
What an amazing
deen. Flawless. Impeccable.
The fourth thing is,
The
protection of wealth.
It's valuable. There's consequences
if you steal
these hands.
They were valuable as long as they were
loyal.
But once they betrayed, the shari'a said no.
No. No. No. These hands don't. They're not
they're not
fulfilling their function.
When Allah spoke about the prophets in the
Quran, then Allah described them in different ways.
But one description Allah gave of them is
they are people with hands and eyes.
There are people with hands and eyes with
hang on. What do we have?
The scholars say they fulfilled
the role of every organ and limb that
Allah had given them.
So
if you have eyes, what would you say?
You don't have ears. You have potatoes.
Why? Because you're not listening. It's defeating what
it's supposed to do.
And last out of the 5, there is
difference of opinion amongst the experts in terms
of the sequence. Of course, Dean stands first.
And then is the preservation of human body.
Regarding the other 3, there's difference of opinion.
What is the sequence in terms of merit?
Islam, out of the 5 preservation, religion is
first.
2nd is the body. And the in in
in the other three, there's difference of opinion.
The preservation
of progeny.
Establish your lineage.
Confirm your identity.
Hence, the prohibition of adultery and zina. We
need a society where people are responsible.
Not unfortunately irresponsibly
impregnate a woman and off you're gone. There's
no connection. There's no responsibility.
And then, you know, you're having a campaign
of of abuse against women and children, raise
the alarm bells, put an end to the
perpetrator, etcetera. But then from the roots, are
you tackling the problem?
Islam says there's a lineage. There's a responsibility.
You got to stand tall.
The nestle, the progeny needs to be identified
and recognized.
Al Asmari
I haven't started.
So just, relax yourself.
If,
the only 2 people
that told me I better speak short is
my wife and my daughter, so I'm a
bit under pressure.
Al Asmari.
He was
an authority.
He was a grammarian. He was a philologist
born in the 7th century.
Those that are into Arabic grammar would know.
You heard his name so many times.
In the quest
of learning better Arabic,
he said, I want to go to the
outline towns, communities to learn pure language.
I mean today it's so bad wherever you
go you just hear vulgar.
Vulgar.
You can barely sit amongst a group of
youth
and not hear you'll be appalled.
Sometimes you're at the airport and you just
turn here and the guy in the queue
is like swearing like a sailor. No. Like
a traveler.
Change the phrase and what's this?
Some people swear
so casually. I'm not condoning it. 1 is
in anger and rage and frustrated.
But one is like, you had a good
time and you swear it.
I don't want to be mimicking the words
here obviously, but you know what I'm saying.
What?
This is vulgar. Just pure vulgar, obscene language.
If you're sitting with the group that are
mocking the deen, that are doing wrong, then
move away from there. And if you forgot
you were with them, as soon as you
realize move away.
And, oh, you just got to be cool.
You got to go with the flow
and it's just vulgar. It's just stupidity. It's
naivety. It's vulnerability
and that's it. And then you look at
the outside
marketing world. How irresponsible
marketing
is. How many times you exit your house?
There's an urge of sin.
And just at that time, if something comes
up which you know, it's not like you
don't know. Allah is watching.
What a halt. What a break. What an
alert.
And if you come out and say, I'll
just do
it. You are getting a whisper. You're getting
a provocation.
You're getting an incitement.
And then to further,
you know what, compound and augment
that, you get in external messages that are
telling you, go for it.
Go for
it.
I dare you take a bite from the
forbidden fruit. That's the kind of advertisement.
I dare you take a bite from the
forbidden fruit.
Speaking on the forbidden fruit,
the devil came to our ancestor Adam and
Hawa
And
what did the devil say?
The devil said to them,
I promise you,
I represent your interests.
That's what the devil said. He sugarcoated
his deception and his delusion
by saying,
I promise you I represent
your interests.
My young boy,
besides Allah and his Nabi and your parents
Be wary, be watchful, be vigilant
of anyone who's a smokescreener with that slogan.
I say this and I'll repeat this.
Your parent can
in the advice he gave you,
but he will never
in the motivation
of the advice he gave you.
He is human,
so he is fallible.
So he's shortsighted,
but he didn't mean
harm for you.
He only meant well when he said get
married here, when he said take a job
here, when he said buy your house here,
when he said disassociate
with this person. It went pear shape, it
went wayward, it steered off. Is this not
adequate compensation
that you heard or you responded and obliged
to what your parents said? Allah will offset
that harm by giving you divine because
of your compliance to the sentiments of your
parent.
Let me say something.
Allah has blessed me with 3 grandchildren.
May Allah guide our children. May Allah guide
our grandchildren.
I love my parents.
My parents love
me. I love my children. My children love
me. In one word,
if I can tell you what
distinguishes my generation
from my children,
we feared our parents. Our children don't fear
us.
They love us. We love them. They do
for us. We do for them. Do our
children fear us? They don't fear us.
I fear my father. I fear my mother
lovingly,
respectfully.
But, you know, hey, that's it. Papa said.
Ma said.
Done. Done.
Our children don't fear. There is no cut
off point. Listen, hey. Abu said we need
to be home at 10 o'clock.
Aye. Bali, how's it?
I kid you not.
That's a phone call from my kids. And
I I mean well. Bali, how's it?
Bali, we're chilling. We're relaxing.
Okay. Where you are, make sure you're in
the right place. Read your to us. Don't
worry.
We feared
and that has changed the entire dynamics.
I come from a generation, when I was
married,
my better half will tell me or
confirm it.
29 years ago,
and my those that are my equals and
older than me, when I got married,
there was no house. There was no home.
But there was values how to be economical
and frugal and build a house.
And there were values of tolerance and respect
and how to shape a home.
The generation of today, including my sons and
your children,
are married
and they are given a built house,
but they lack the values to make their
house into a home. So it's become a
tall order and a big ask
to ask them from the built house make
a home.
With the passage of time, all of us,
my generation and those beyond me, even all
the more, you saved what they say marriage
is not only about being 5050, it's about
being thrifty, thrifty.
What's the problem? I got too much month
left at the end of my salary.
You didn't get that?
I got too much month left.
It's like, oh, it's only 10th.
Hey. I don't know how to budget. That's
how the youth of today is.
When you got married, when I got married,
the old folks all the more there's nothing.
Here, the old folks, they'll talk of fitters,
And then the sees how will but there
was values.
Every time your child does something wrong,
you defend him.
Tomorrow, you'll get a lawyer to defend him.
Child discipline is not abuse. It's shaping him
into a good human.
Every time he's in a problem,
you give him deliverance.
You save the moment and you deny him
the lesson of life.
That is why I say to parents,
sometimes they say, oh, he got caught.
I said if he got caught,
my advice to him, don't just pull him
out.
He needs to feel it a bit long.
Let him feel the consequences.
Otherwise, I promise you if you if you
got him admitted, say, wait. I got pulled.
I got clout. I got muscle. And you
had him pulled out today.
This boy will become a monster if not
he's already a monster.
When he got caught,
I can't forget the words of this mother
and I said, my, it's only a mother
that can talk. The son was apprehended,
intercepted due to drugs. The mother is crying
one side, I was there. She said, oh
Allah,
jerk my son but don't hurt my son.
Oh, Allah. Jerk my son, but don't. I
said, my who can coin these words? You
can't make these duas.
This is a mother's motherly sentiment screaming out.
There was a youngster we had admitted because
the family contacted me. Finally, when he got
discharged,
I phoned the mother. She made lot of
dua for me. She said, for Allah's sake,
don't bring my son back to my house.
I said, ma, he's your blood. She said,
no. No. I can't deal with 12 o'clock,
a knock on the door, and a gangster,
and a fight, and then I can't. I'm
too old for this.
I said, but he's a change. She said,
whatever you say, I don't have strength to
give him hope or chance or belief.
The laws of Sharia are designed in your
interest.
I've said this and I'll say it again.
Sin can make you look happy. Only obedience
will make you feel happy.
Sin will give you a thrill. If sin
doesn't give you a thrill, nobody would buy
into sin. That's it has to have some
offering.
Don't bite at the bait of sin unless
you know the hook that is beneath it.
Don't bite at the bait of sin. Oh,
it's just throwing itself out there.
And you just bite on it. You know
my brother,
expensive things are costly on your pocket.
Unhealthy food is costly on your health.
And
is
expensive on your iman.
Is very expensive.
One affair,
one romance,
one flirtatious
contact,
and you throw your entire marriage down. Gone.
So we're talking about
the mobile phone
And how this has unfortunately
first, it was don't bring the phone to
school. Now the old school is in the
phone.
That's that's how things have evolved. We are
a nation blessed and cursed with our innovation.
I haven't found a more comprehensive
explanation of modern technology than this statement.
We are a nation blessed and cursed by
our innovation.
Some would argue that there are benefits in
sin. The Quran doesn't deny that.
Some say if you take a talk of
alcohol in moderation, it enhances your IQ. The
Quran is not averse to that. The Quran
says, look beyond. Are the benefits more or
the harm more?
You said, you know what? With the lottery,
we've helped so many people. Great.
But have you helped more made more people
poor?
You've enhanced one person's IQ and the other
people you've destroyed their entire life.
Today today today fresh. Just before Jummah got
a call,
he was high and he gave 3 tilaks.
It is what it is. A bullet is
a bullet.
When it shoots out of the barrel, that's
it. It's gonna cause its harm.
The consequences are catastrophic.
So here's an analogy
and,
for parenting, may Allah give me may Allah
grant you the understanding.
Somebody said if I could rewind my life,
I would have less meetings and spend more
time with my kids.
I say to my son, I say to
my daughter-in-law,
you know what?
You wanna keep
your child busy and you wanna keep them
off the phone, it will mean serious adjustments
of your life
to spend quality time with this child.
If you're not ready to make that adjustment,
then then it's not going to happen.
So you're gonna have to come back early
from work.
You're gonna have to compromise on probably going
to your beauty parlor,
going for your manicure, pedicure, whatever it is,
your massage, your weekly this year. And both
of you have to find time with this
little one to keep. This is an inquisitive
mind.
He was
a. He was a judge.
He was appointed as a judge during the
period of Sahaba.
His 10 year old son was sent to
Madrasa.
On the way, he got distracted. There were
few youth that were playing and there were
some dogs that were running around, So he
diverted, spent his whole time, then he came
back. This is a Tabiri.
He was appointed as the judge during the
time of Umar. There was no devices, and
this was the distraction
because of which he didn't go to Madrasa.
The next day, Kadeh Shureh asked his son,
you went to Madrasa? He said no.
So he wrote a letter,
to to to the teacher.
And,
he said to him,
Arabic poetry.
He neglected
for and abandoned his salah because of some
youth that were just playing and they were
having some fun and some entertainment.
See, this is what I say. I've got
such an influx of thoughts.
The whisper of sin
was in the human from the inception of
time.
But the access to sin was never so
available like today.
The whisper to sin.
You you you have a crave for something
sweet. Why they say it's difficult to be
a woman? You wanna cry without a reason?
You wanna lose weight and you like to
eat something sweet.
You're sitting at home. You're trying to discipline
yourself.
If the crave of sugar comes and there's
a bar of chocolate or a slab of
chocolate,
you're gonna you're going to eat that whole
thing.
So and if the slab is not dead,
it happens often to me. You're traveling in
a hotel room, and suddenly you just have
a crave for something, and now you say
phone reception, it's late, or you know what,
do an Uber. It's okay. Leave it. It's
10 minutes of behavior and the crave is
over.
But if the slap is there, the chances
are very slim you're gonna behave.
The whisper comes of sin.
The hand the phone is in your palm.
The excess is too much.
I said to a young man, phoned me
recently, and he said, no. I've done every
wrong. I've been sleeping around. I've been pulling
around. I've been popping things. I've just done
a lot of nonsense, but I'm miserable.
And I said, of course. That's a given.
That's a given.
You show me one person who's living a
life of sin and he's happy.
I will do what Imam Shafi said. I'll
give him half of whatever virtue I have.
I don't have much, but I'll give it
to him. Show me one man
who had an affair, who took a drug,
who did something haram. We're not talking of
halal.
If you're doing halal, that's a separate thing
altogether because Allah has kept wholesome pleasure in
Allah's obedience.
Allah has kept wholesome pleasure in it. There's
no doubt about it. But in haram, if
one person He got a thrill. He got
a cake. There's no doubt about that. But
the uneasiness, the restlessness, the anxiety,
looking over your shoulder, holding your phone. What's
this? There's no life.
And I'm a say something
because I deal with this so often.
The young generation, they get married and, no,
he's on this app. She's on that app.
He posted here. She posted there. I need
to see this. So I said to them,
see.
When you are married,
then, of course, Islam has allowed you to
be intimate with your spouse.
And if you're if there's anybody else in
the room, you said, please can you leave?
I need to change.
Right?
Hopefully, the same thing happens at the germs.
Because again,
what's this?
Islam the prophet
said don't look at the thigh
of a male or a female or living
or dead.
Our deen is so modest.
What did I say? If you frowning on
any aspect, it's external influence.
Fatima
said to Asma bint Umayyad,
I'm so worried when I pass away. How
are they going to cover me? So Asma
said, you know, we went to Abyssinia.
Asma Bintu Umiz was the wife of Jafar
Jafar and Asma had migrated to Abyssinia.
The union own Muhammad and Abdullah Allah blessed
them with 3 children. Then they came back.
Then Jafar
went to Muta. Then he passed away in
Muta.
The amazing couplets of contributed
homage
to Jafar
So she went to Abyssinia.
Some argue Ethiopia, some say Eritrea, geographically.
She said come I show you Fatima what
I observe there in the in the land
of Africa.
And then she created this canopy.
Regeneration.
She took twigs. She created a cover and
she said this is how they would cover
a female's body there. That's what I observed.
Fatima was
intrigued by this display of modesty. And she
said to Ali, this is what I've heard
and this is what I want you to
do.
Bury me by night. Cover me like this.
And I want you to get married to
my niece, umama, my eldest sister Zainab's daughter.
3 advisers she gave.
Zina is rife.
Our community and our society
still holds polygamy as an absolute taboo.
I'm not here to advocate anything. I'm saying
we need to in Allah's obedience.
A life of sin is a life of
deprivation of.
A life of obedience is a life of.
So we take the phone today.
The Quran speaks of the tale of Tarun.
So what happened in the tale of Tarun?
He came out with his flamboyance.
He was fleshing his muscle, his economic
muscle that he had,
displaying it opulence, flamboyance,
beauty, splendor.
And as he's walking, those that are looking
them like, wow.
That's now stunning.
My word.
Right? Thus the Quran says,
Exact
verbatim translation.
This man is damn lucky.
This is luck falling in his lap.
What happened?
Listen to me. Follow my pattern of thoughts.
Appreciate my angle of my analogy.
Makes an appearance, he makes a presence,
people are occupied doing their own things, they're
caught in the spectacle,
It just mesmerizes
them, spellbound,
leaves them all riveted. They're all are, you
know what, water dripping from their mouths in
in in envy of this person.
Those who had iman, who were anchored, they
retorted. They challenged the narrative. They said, no,
man. That's fickle, man. That's transitory.
That's temporary. You can't fall for this here.
Just take you know, the guy passes you
zoom with top speed, and then you couldn't
negotiate the bend. And then you see the
body lined and the corpse and the car
burnt out. And then you're like, no, Allah.
This jalopy is good.
Because even if I wanna put up speed,
I can't put up speed.
That's exactly what played out.
You must see what the aluluga write on
the in terms of the grammar of this
word.
Now here's my point of question.
And here I want you to put your
thinking caps on my sisters and my brothers.
These people by default
got exposed
to the presence of Karun
and his economic muscle, which dazzled their eyes
momentarily.
Today, the world has been designed such that
every night,
every one of us, before retiring to bed,
it's almost compulsory
that we take out our phone and we
start searching for the karoons of the day.
Hey. Where was he today? Where was his
today?
Oh, wow.
I, by design,
sit me as a man, my wife as
the spouse, and my children.
So we all live in a life of
misery,
depression,
ungratefulness
because what's been shown before me? She cooks
nice, he dresses nice, their marriage is happy,
their holidays are awesome, their location is stunning,
their everything is great.
Daily, if that's what I'm feeding. You know,
as kids, the Gujrati proverb, what they say?
Join a
Join a.
You're gonna see. You're gonna feel for it.
You are consciously these people didn't go looking
for
happened to come out. And the Quran is
very beautiful. The Quran is pragmatic.
The Quran says the believers are those they
don't go to evil places.
But the Quran doesn't say the believers are
those who don't pass evil places because it's
a real world. You have to pass a
casino. You have to pass a club. You
have to pass a pub. You have to
pass a place where there's wrong. So the
Quran doesn't say that the pious are those
who don't pass evil.
Allah says they won't enter it.
They'll never go into the venue because they
know it's not compatible to their faith. And
if they happen to pass by, the Quran
says they pass by with dignity.
The scholars unpack the word dignity by saying
they lower their gaze, hasten the pace,
despise the offense that is being perpetrated there,
and they don't shun the perpetrator.
My word.
My word.
Ours is the direct opposite. Your profile, your
dressing doesn't allow you to get in, so
you're just circling the area.
No. No. There's a lot of traffic here.
Yeah. So but why are you going there?
No. We just you know what?
So,
this is the brutal truth. As long as
I'm sitting on my phone and you're sitting
on your phone, you're not gonna be happy
with your partner and your partners are gonna
be happy with you and your children are
not gonna be happy in the home. It's
not gonna happen.
I once heard a radio program
and a woman was talking about the importance
of healthy food.
TMO free, organic, natural.
It doesn't have all these,
artificial
flavorants and chemicals in it.
She said, if a child at birth
is told,
eat pure, eat natural, eat wholesome, eat organic,
and you start making impressions on the subconscious
mind of that child.
You start making impressions on the subconscious mind.
Eat good. Eat healthy. Subconscious. Right? You you're
making impressions on it. The wiring of the
the child.
Because today, I was in Ireland. Okay. I'll
come back to this.
And,
we were having Suhoor and the next day
I had a flight out. So this brother
was saying his daughter is in the US
and she did a whole research
on the negative impact of
of the phone
today on
the human race.
Never before
in human history
were the humans
exposed
to such conflicting
information simultaneously.
It took you time to get good news.
That new good news created that electrons
that gave that ecstasy,
that gave that jubilation, that gave that euphoria,
that translated in that, happiness in the body,
the excitement, whatever it is. After a period
of time, you discovered some sadness, the body
accordingly triggered those reactions and emotions.
But now the human race simultaneously
is being exposed to good and sad news
at one time which is disturbing
the human anatomy and wired in like it
has never done ever before.
And this is my analogy. Imagine you take
in a laxative and imodium at the same
time.
Imagine you take in a laxative,
you know, now this this you gotta be
very euphemistic. So you mustn't say he's constipated.
You must say, you know what?
He he is,
got limited bowel movements.
So now you're constipated,
you're taking a laxative
and at the same time you're taking Imodium.
What are you gonna do to your body?
Can you imagine this body just constantly? You
don't need to know everything that's happening all
the time.
And this is something you have to decide
yourself. You have to control it.
The world out there
is a crude world. Wherever revenue can be
generated,
they will make it. That's it. You're not
gonna able to change it. You've got to
up your immunity to become resilient to the
bacteria. But end of the day, you know
what? You've got to inoculate yourself spiritually. You're
gonna inoculate yourself. But if it's making money
there, who cares?
That's the world. It's crude. It's brutal. It's
harsh.
I've said this in that last
drug program that I had. I have an
eye for wildlife,
and I have an eye for safari. And,
of course, we've been seen the migration
in the Masai Mara, in Africa, in other
places, and I it kinda intrigues me. And
often when you see nature play out,
in its natural form and its natural habitat
and a mom just giving birth to her
calf and just then they are predators in
ambush and they pounce on. And of course,
it it just brings a tear in your
eye. It brings a tear in your eye.
A mother in the wild, in the wilderness,
alone, having to give birth
and and and and, you know what, delivered
this issue and this child and this baby
and trying to give some shelter and just
then comes the leopard, snatches this newborn and
off it's gone. And then you'll get the
comment that would say, but brutal, but harsh,
but that's nature. No. That's not brutal.
Brutal is a drug merchant
who's wicked and evil, infamous and nasty,
who can sell a pill to a 10
year old child. Knowing this is going to
bring an entire home down.
Get him hooked on.
That's brutal. That's inhumane. That's harsh.
I just got to sell it to him
once.
And then in the UK, I travel all
the time as there's balloons.
They just go high and it's out.
Like, how much more merciless can you be?
How do you sleep at night?
So I was saying to you
that,
we expose ourself.
We choose to expose ourself to these fitanas
and daily
we get onto these sites
creating this
constant dragon that we chase in.
So we have the problem. I mean, I
do a marital counseling
and, I don't envy myself. And by the
way, I don't have any open slots.
Yeah. Honestly, I don't have any. I I
openly apologize. I can't even answer all my
emails. I can't even reply. I'm just overwhelmed.
It's beyond my capacity. It's just too much.
May Allah bless my family for allowing me
and and and coping with me and and
giving me the space. But it just invades
and, you know, infringes and encroaches and and
consumes your own
life.
So
today,
in in in
marriages,
you find
how many partners
are on antidepressants.
ADHD, better known as ADD,
attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder.
Mental health which has exploded in the last
10 years.
Right? Someone described it like an iceberg.
You've seen the top. The top is anxiety.
The top is irritability.
The top is restlessness.
But the real ice is beneath the water.
Those are the external symptoms manifesting in the
individual.
He or she can't hold a conversation. He
or she can't stand in the queue. He
or she is irritable.
Those are the external factors given, but the
whole ice is beneath.
I cannot tell you the amount of more
commonly
on the side of woman that are on
on on on on pills at a young
age and you can't really have a fair,
you know, what balance
dialogue between
the couple because there is this mood swings,
there is the bipolar,
there is, you know, split personalities.
We are in in serious times. We are
not in easy times. Don't be
deceived by the optical illusion. It's just all
like smart and good and glory. No. No.
No. No. No. No.
Things are rough and tough. Things are rough
and tough.
I can tell you in 25 years of
counseling, if I've come to learn,
nobody's marriage that you think is hunky dory
is hunky dory.
People who you think that, no. No. This
is on the best side of life. No.
No. It's far from that.
It's far from that.
Recently, I spoke at one event
and then there was a joint set in
between a partner. I like to use very,
very broad and generic terms because then people,
are you talking about me? No. No. No.
No. No. No. So I like to use
the most broadest generic context, you know, or
create hypothetical
scenarios.
So, anyway, the husband called out to the
wife and the wife replied via the veil
and everything. So I said to him, hey.
You know what? Besides the presentation that you
people gave and everything, but I think you
gave a lot of example to, you know,
couples to what's a happy marriage.
He said, that's what you think. I said,
oh, there we go.
There we
go. So only Allah can help us in
these times, but we need to take some
active steps. Here's a reflection from the Quran.
Allah told the mother of Musa alaihis salam,
put Musa in the basket, put the basket
in the river Nile.
Right?
Then Allah said,
Yeah. In in Arabic, you would know is
in a meaning of
She was on the verge
of divulging
and said, hey. That's my child.
Though we gave her the assurance, your child
is coming back.
We learn from this
that no human
is strong enough
and capable enough
and smart enough and wise enough and intelligent
enough
to wade the deep waters
and navigate the stormy oceans.
Everyone
can only rely on Allah to get you
across.
I say to couples
when unfortunately
there is a discovery that a child is
on drugs, inevitably, it creates
tension in the house. There was one case
I was
overseeing and dealing
and obviously the father going a bit more
on the iron fist. The mother going on
the soft one. My son is soft. He's
like this. Give him space. It create a
tension between the parents. Do we keep him
in the house? Do we keep him out?
And I said, see, my young boy, we're
not expelling you. This is your house.
This is the kind of compromise I had
to make to kinda stabilize the equilibrium
equilibrium
in the context because it was just creating
so much
imbalance and turbulence.
But for you to stay in the house
with your current addiction,
you disrupt
the normality of the entire house.
You disrupt the normality of the entire house.
You walk in at 12 o'clock, you get
up at 12 o'clock,
you don't perform salah, you sleep with earphones,
you got music blasting, you got a 10
year old that is trying to just find
his feet in rhythm, and he's just saying,
but if my brother can do it, why
can't I do it? So you exacerbate
and compound and aggravate the situation.
So it's just not him per se. And
I must also say that in my own
observation,
it takes at least 20 members
to save 1 person who has succumb to
drugs.
And I say that conservatively.
And I say that with 20 years of
working with people like this.
If you don't have a network of 20,
it's just a matter of time when everyone
in that group will be burnt out.
Now I'm done now. Listen, I've met your
brother. He's in a bad state.
Please don't phone me again.
Hey. I'm so sorry to see Ben, I
just seen your husband. You know what? He's
not my husband. You can tell my children.
My children also don't call him a father
anymore. We done. You need 20 members of
society.
Each one rotating,
alternating.
You hang on now. You rescue now. And
just when you've done everything and he's finished
the 3rd day relapse or he's overcome the
3rd day obstacle and 11th day, after 2
months he says, no, I'm having crazy craves.
I'm suicidal or I'm gonna relapse.
Now if you don't have manpower,
it's over.
Said,
Oh.
I wish I had a family around me
that could rally.
How often
there's one son who's moved on. He's stable.
He's anchored. He's prosperous.
He's moving with good speed. Daughter is settled,
anchored, moving in a good home. There's the
one, the delinquent,
the black
sheep, the outcast.
The parents are old and aged, and this
one's 3 marriages broke, 4 times in a
rehab, son and daughter too busy in their
lives,
or
whatever they're too occupied. And you got these
old parents now,
Their head has dropped. Their back is hunched.
Their bones are weak. Their body is frail,
and they're back and forth taking this 35
year old to police station, to the rehab,
coming back. If we as children and society
won't intervene,
what zulum aren't we doing to these parents?
The butchers out there, the merchants out there,
the infamous individuals out there, they don't care
any less.
So I was telling you about,
and we digressed into a host of discussions,
but I pray that
each one of those digressions were were meaningful
and objective inshallah.
Asmari was a philologist. He was a grammarian.
He went in the search of learning language
and that's where we digress when we spoke
about vulgar because that's how, unfortunately, language has
become today. We need to sit with youth.
We need to connect with youth. We need
to take out a lot of time and
create a bond.
When the prophet
had adopted Zayd
or good kari name?
Yeah.
Please. We're still trying to reach our cruising
altitude.
Yeah.
We haven't yet yeah. We're still just airborne.
Yeah. Now you must tell me to stop.
I'll stop. This is my my heart is
in this year. Wallah, my heart cries for
the youth. My whole life has gone in
this. I ask Allah to accept it. That's
all I can say.
I I seen an episode of a young
man 2 weeks ago. He had an outburst
with his drug. My word. My word. I've
never in my life seen he started banging
his head on the floor, like, aggressively.
Was complete. I don't know
what what triggered, what happened, what reaction, whatever.
Completely insane. Just just gone off totally. And
it's just like
aggressively just hitting his head. It's a mixture
of empathy, anger, rage, frustration.
What is it?
So
the incident
of Zayd
when the prophet had adopted him. Right? And
then his father and his uncle came in
the search.
And then finally, they came and they met
the prophet
and they said, we'll give you a handsome
ransom. Please give us our son back.
Said, I won't take a dime.
I don't take money.
You can take him,
but I won't set him against his wish.
I won't set him against his wish.
And let me please say this again. Sorry.
I I know I'm making a lot of
interjections.
If your marriage is breaking up,
for Allah's sake, don't play nasty games with
the other partner denying them access to that
child.
You're gonna pay a heavy price. You're gonna
pay a heavy price in this world and
in akhirah. Your children will rebel against you
and they'll go searching for their other partner,
mother or father, and Allah will reunite them.
And if you are one who's been subjected
and denied and barred, persevere,
Your son, your daughter will come knocking your
door. But if you are the one blocking,
hear it from me today. You will suffer
in this world. End the letter.
Can we stoop so low?
Let's agree.
You want a good wife. I wasn't a
good husband but you were a good mother
and I was a good father.
We we we were not gelling
or they were not gelling because I'm happy
with my wife. I mean,
You gotta watch craft your words, bro. You
gotta craft your words, bro.
As husband and wife, you weren't getting along.
Why are you denying the other one motherhood
and fatherhood?
And you know what makes a healthy home?
Reinforce and impress on your children respect.
They respect your father.
They respect your mother.
And it's not sufficient to say, Noelle, I
didn't teach my children not to dis I
didn't teach my children to disrespect you. No.
No. No. You need to teach them to
respect their father.
I never taught my child just respect your
father.
But what happens
when a child throws a tantrum? Does it?
Like his father?
Same. Same. Does it?
You have destroyed the self esteem of that
man in that house.
This is this is a small image of
your father.
No. I kid you not. This is serious.
Listen. The you we're not gonna just this
is your father. That's your mother.
Teach your children values and respect
for each other.
Parents are couples are differing on too many
fronts.
Show regard for the values of each other.
I have a reflection of Quran.
So when,
when Musa alaihi salaam came and the basket
was sailing
and pharaoh
and Asiya,
the faithful wife,
She said, Allah, I don't want the palace
of this man. I don't want the palatial
home. Allah, I want the palace in Jannah,
Allah.
She gave up a royal life.
Now there's so many you're performing. The dowry
is so exorbitant. They don't disclose it.
Yeah. This has happened. So I said, now
what's happening here? No. In the nikah ceremony
when you're solemnizing the marriage just so that
we don't divulge to everyone, we would say,
and the mehre you give in to your
new bride is as you discuss amongst yourself.
Yeah.
And then come 3 weeks later,
I want all my 10 rings back.
We worry so much about the wedding yet
we worry so little about the marriage.
The wedding is one day, the marriage is
forever.
Married for weeks, married for months, married for
days.
Why? Because the values were not given.
So as the basket was coming
and Musa alaihi salam was in that basket,
what does the Quran say in chapter 20?
The protection we sent was
we had cast beauty on you.
So anyone who's seen you was just melted
at your beauty.
We don't know what's love. We know what's
lust.
May Allah give us that love for him
through love for Allah.
It's sad when you need to explain love,
the medium today is lust
because people don't know true love for Allah,
love for the pious.
So the wife of pharaoh said look at
the deduction from the scholars of tafsir and
the richness of the Quran.
And this is what we learn, how to
navigate.
And this is where we get a cue.
This is where we get inspiration. This is
where we get guidance.
So she said,
It's academics.
The Quran always opts
for brief speech, comprehensive speech.
So why did she say
Why didn't she just say
This is mentioned by Anur Quran.
She said, Oh my love, Oh, my hubby.
You know what? He's so gorgeous.
You know, woman and everything nowadays nowadays, emojis
also is a language of its own
because it's dangerous, available.
Oops. Ouch.
Ouch.
It's platonic.
And from platonic, it becomes something else totally.
From platonic, you went into pedal.
Oh, man.
She said to her husband,
love
is real.
The narration of Sahih Muslim,
the neighbor of the prophet
came to invite him.
He said come home for meals. So Nabi
Salsam said, and
Ma'ai? Said, no. Only you invited.
You see, that this is also something. You
gotta be frank and candid. If you invite
anyone, say 1.
Don't say, hey. You must come. Who? No.
You must come.
Now you can't say, you don't say, you
don't know what to say, you don't know
how to say. You just yeah. You must
come. Now I don't
know what, how. I don't know. You can't
ask, you can't say. No, man. Talk.
Say unto them, I don't seek
remuneration
and compensation
for my
mission.
And I am not from amongst those who
pretend and act,
who fake.
The whole world is just fake.
It's acting. The Quran says if someone knocks
your door and the time is not right
tell him to go.
And you who are at the door go
back. It's better for you to return.
Now you look in the camera.
Hey, but your
mama
Hey, this guy, man.
Just like he's I tell you.
Yo.
Hey, Joe. Come in, my brother. How's it,
man? Hey. Come come come in. Yeah. We're
just talking about you. Hogwash, man. Back off.
Nonsense.
It's not the right time. Tell him it's
not the right time.
Live the real life.
The nails are fake. The eyes are fake,
the eyelashes are fake, everything is fake, my
Allah.
The prophet
said before the respect
will be fake.
Like I mean respect is not something physical
and tangible. You know this is pure, that's
generic, that's real, that's not real. Nabi salarahu
alaihi wa sallam said respect will be fake.
People will be respected
just to protect yourself against his evil. This
guy is nasty.
He can spit venom. So greet him.
In Arabic, they
say, sometimes the only way you appease a
barking dog is to throw a bone at
it daily or to give it a slice
of bread. So you say, you feed this
dog? He said, no. No. I just keep
myself away from the bark.
I'm not feeding it.
Your excellency. Your excellency.
What excellency?
Plaque outside the graveyard.
Inside the cemetery, there are many people who
thought the world won't function without them. If
any, the world is doing better.
Nothing's gonna change, man. My day will come.
It'll clock up, drop me off, and it's
over, man.
Promise you, we need to change. We need
to change the coordinates on our set nav,
man.
We're going in the wrong you can see
you're going in the wrong direction but you're
still carrying on with that same GPS.
The signal is not
right.
If you are told go back, go back.
So the prophet
says,
you invited me. What about my Aisha? He
said, no. Only you.
Rabi said, okay. Then I'm not coming.
Muslim. Then again,
the person came back he said I'm inviting
you.
Said and Maisha? He said, no. Only you.
He said, no. Then I'm not coming.
Look at
patience, his demeanor. He's like, I told you
one time. How many times did I tell
you?
Nabi saw some so calm and composed.
Right? There's different types of people. Some people
are like this. They persisting.
Right? Nabi saw some was sitting and villager
came in. Muhammad.
Hey, who's Muhammad here? He
was a villager. The
authentic man. The Saba said
Can you see this luminous face? Can you
see this brilliant human reclining?
He himself is Muhammad
Listen, I am very loud. I'm strong in
my speech. So I'm gonna ask you, I'm
gonna raise my voice. That's my nature. Don't
feel offended. Nabi salawam said,
Go for it. We have no issues.
Wow. That was the demeanor of our Nabi
sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
The 3rd time he came back and he
invited. And Nabi sallam said, and my Aisha?
He said, yeah. She's also invited. The narration
of Sahih Muslim, they both then go.
The
shura, the commentators commenting on the hadith say,
why did the prophet of Allah decline on
the first two instances
and then oblige on the third instance? He
said there was hunger at home.
So he decided
that if it is sleeping without food, we
both will sleep without food. And if it's
eating, we both will eat, my love.
That's love.
Not an emoji and a bouquet and whatever
and teddy bears.
That this is this is real.
This is a connection.
This is a feeling. This is empathy.
This is human
relationship.
Both ways.
When when when when when Assia
told pharaoh
don't kill Musa.
She said,
basic Arabic grammar. I don't wanna give grammar
and and
lessons here.
Basic Arabic grammar, it's a plural, but she's
talking to one person.
She addressed her husband with the plural
to denote respect.
How do you call your husband my sister?
Do you use respectful
expressions and terms?
And vice versa.
What impressions are we giving the children? Are
we showing respect?
Our addiction to our phone,
our own
children are not getting the right message. I've
always said the old folks
are an example
of not breaking marriages,
but they're not necessarily example of happy marriages.
Ask me.
One day, I was giving this and this
one old man is going like this here.
I say, hey, uncle. Not so much. You're
telling everyone I wasn't talking about you.
Old folks are an example.
They come from a value system. Your must
leave from here. But they're not necessarily example
of happy homes.
The old folks started sleeping separate when, you
know what, the deep heat was too much
in the year in 8. 8. The young
generation are sleeping separate in their thirties.
What's the common exact he snows too much.
What what what are we married for?
My word I don't know what to say.
Allah
knows and when I read Quran, I I
cannot in words tell you the ecstasy that
grips me.
So what did
Assia say?
She said,
She didn't say coolness of my eyes.
Then she's trying to prevent pharaoh from killing
Musa. So outwardly, apparently, supposedly, logically, it would
be coolness to your eyes don't kill him.
But she said coolness to my eyes then
coolness to your eyes
because she
knew
her desire,
her passion meant more to him than his
own desire.
She said, love, I like him.
Love, I like him.
Wow. How much regard do we have for
each others?
He came back tired from work.
Oh, I'm feeling for sandwich. Get up. There's
the micro. There's the oven.
And don't take off your socks here.
No, man. No, man. No.
The narration of Bazar, get married, your wife
will bring you wealth.
Your wife will bring you wealth.
How will she bring you wealth?
The shurrah right where the prophet said your
wife will bring revenue, bring wealth. What? Because
money per se is not the object.
There's a greater purpose behind it.
Right? You ask why are you traveling to
be happy? Why you got married to be
happy?
Well yeah. Hopefully.
You know, I always tell the youngsters, you
know, when I'm married and I got 2
kids, I'll be happy. I say, how's your
father happy? He's.
In the struggles of obedience,
there's pleasure.
In the apparent pleasures of disobedience, there's misery.
There's misery, my brother. Allah's Qasem. 25 years,
I can tell you. I haven't come across
one person who sinned in his life and
was happy. There was a friend of mine
who was close to me in the early
years in Australia. Young man. So listen to
my talks and he took a liking to
me. He
was young. He was
experimenting.
He was freelancing. He was trying the world.
And, I kept on telling him, you're going
into a darker web. This thing is gonna
shackle you. You're gonna you you're getting into
a darker place.
Sadly, at some point, unfortunately, he then claimed
his life and, you know, I just got
a news to say this is what had
happened.
Sin just leads to a dark road. It
comes to an end. It's just misery. There's
just nowhere. Finally, the last thing the devil
says, just take your life.
Whatever the nature of the crime is, sin
was never gonna take you to happiness.
That's for
sure. Sin can make you look happy. Only
obedience will make you feel happy. Every Ramadan,
my message to the world wherever I travel
is,
where's the answer to happiness?
Whole year you're eating. It's a lavish breakfast.
It's a sumptuous lunch. It's a finger lickin
dinner. It's decadent desserts. It's a great spread.
It was alright. Nothing to write home about.
Nothing to scream.
But come Ramadan, from a 5 year old
to a 75 year old, everyone is excited
for 30 days for 1 meal.
Why? Because moderate deprivation is the only thing
that can bring happiness to man.
Deprive yourself, limit yourself, behave yourself. The youth
of today, we was speaking about lethargy.
If if everyday is a weekend, then how
can you be happy on a weekend?
There's a 1,000 things to do. I just
can't get through the day. And he's like,
no. I'm just chilling, boss. What's up?
Yeah.
What?
Get a life, man.
I said to the youth and I used
to say to my students,
you enrolled in the seminary at your elementary,
rudimentary years.
Perhaps you needed jumper cables to boost your
car or someone gave you a a push
from the rear to get your car started.
But don't think or expect for somebody to
push you to the destination.
Your father told you, get up. Your mother
told you, get up. Life threw some curve
balls at you.
The Arabic proverb, the death of my seniors
made me a senior. I'm driving in the
car. I just seen my dad having a
heart attack. I've seen the steering moving. I
never sat there before. But when I looked
around me, my siblings were smaller. I had
to just take the leap.
I had to take the leap and hold
the steering to rescue the other passengers.
Grow up. You seen your dad go with
with cancer. You seen your mother fall. You
seen an empire crumble. You still drank.
Some people grow old, they don't grow wise.
I read an amazing saying the other day.
I met a 15 year old adult and
a 40 year old boy.
I met a 15 year old adult
and a 40 year old boy. He behaves
like a kid.
Was walking.
And behind him, there were 4 great
in their flowing robes.
And he was leading them.
So Soleiman ibn Abdul Malik said,
how old are you?
He said
I mean, woe be to these great scholars
in this robe, people of the cloth. And
they got one young man who barely got
facial hair leading them. How old are you?
He said,
I am no older than the young Usama
when the Nabi of Allah made him the
leader of the expedition and behind him he
had the giants and the stalwarts of Abu
Bakr and Umar.
Those were our youth, man.
They were leading us.
Today's youngster,
you can't even tell him to take take
his mother to the shop. Mommy, how long
you'll be?
What?
He says I went to visit Omar bin
Abdul Aziz. I'm gonna mention 1, 2 things
and start wrapping up. Wallahi, what I was
hoping to speak on, I haven't even touched
it. And
it's gonna it's really a topic of its
own. I wanted to speak on about 12
fitnas.
It's a whole write up of Sheikh Khalil
Ullah Muhamadeed dehilawi. In al fitna ara axam.
It's 12 fitanas.
I was hoping to get there, but inshallah
for another time whenever Allah has willed it
to be, it would be there.
We all are stuck
with boulders
blocking
our own caves of life.
Those 3 people in those caves
did some amazing feat for those boulders to
move.
Do we have
actions in our reserves
that we can tap into
when we're seeing things are just not making
headway.
But we all have some boulders blocking. Some
child is not
recovering from his addict addiction.
Some this is not happening. That is not
happening.
Let me come back to that incident and
mention 1, 2 things and tie it up
with this here.
There is a fake pleasure in sin.
There is a wholesome
spiritual ecstasy in obedience.
And in between that, there is a divine
pleasure in resisting sin.
There's a divine pleasure in resisting sin. You're
just in resisting mode. You didn't go into
any obedience, you're just in resisting mode. She's
messaging me. He's messaging me. But no. You
Allah, I'm not going to do it. You
Allah, I'm not going to do it.
Of course, for the time, there is restlessness.
There's no doubt about that. There is restlessness.
At the at the time when the urge
is in full swing, there is restlessness. There
there that's that's real. That that this world
is a place of death. There is that
restlessness.
But once you've overcome the restlessness,
oh, man,
That that joy is indescribable.
It's ineffable.
It's something else. You can't quantify it. It's
something else.
So these 3 people were desperate.
And then they said, listen. We're blocked up
in life. Yeah? There's no way we're gonna
come out.
You need serious actions in your life
to get you out of
the the the the crisis in which we
are engulfed.
Yeah.
You you know the
you need to go buy something and
the child say, no. No. My abu got
lot money.
Now in his little, weak, simple mind, he
thinks that he's lot. He doesn't know. What
you need here is much more.
Josefa ibn Yamane said,
a time will come,
nobody will be rescued from the fitnas,
but the one who begs Allah and cries
incessantly
like how a drowning person screams for help.
When a person is drowning,
he's not like, are there any lifesavers available?
Please notify them.
I've mentioned this many times and let me
just say it here. My wife is gonna
say why I said it.
But anyway, we went to Bahamas
and, on a jet ski. There's a child
in every adult and that child was in
me at its full at that day.
And, I needed to show her my expertise
on the throttle.
And, yeah,
I flipped the whole machine.
Literally flipped the machine.
And due to panic,
I forgot I had
a life vest on, and so did she.
She's holding that side. I'm holding this side,
and we're screaming.
And at that time, this thing kinda dawned
on me. You see, often when you're in
a situation,
then it hits you. We were doing
humanitarian work in Lombok Island after the earthquake.
It was shortly after Hajj. I just come
back from Hajj in 2019. And then immediately,
we went to Lombok.
And then we drove for 3 hours. We
summited the hill. And then I looked around
me, it was nothing but ruin and debris.
Nothing but ruin and debris.
And I rotated my gaze. Said, Ali
used to often,
He would just sit in solitude and then
rotate his palm and then talk to himself.
Ali
Ali
Ali?
Ali, the journey to Akhirat is so long.
The road is unknown.
The path is hazardous.
But do you have adequate? Do you know
where you're heading?
So I sat there when we summited. It
was scorching, sweltering, blistering hot.
I rotated my gaze.
They had gathered everyone in a make shelter
and I had to give the talk there.
And when I looked around, there was no
home, there was no dwelling.
That's the time it hit me. The prophet
said,
if you miss one salah, it's like you
lost all your family and all your belongings.
Now I'm like seeing it real.
None will be rescued from the fitna of
that time,
but the one who makes dua to Allah
like a drowning person.
Create a home of tahajjud.
Create a home of salah.
Put that phones down. Allah give me tawfiq.
Allah give you tawfiq.
Honestly,
limited.
Wi Fi free connection
that has just brought misery in our homes.
We're only browsing, perusing, surfing, and nothing other
than depression and misery.
Because constantly you've seen something else, so you
automatically feeling ungrateful about yourself.
I didn't have, I didn't enjoy, I didn't
experience.
So this person, Asmari,
he goes in the search and he comes
to this particular tribe in Yemen.
Banu Audra.
They were known for preserving the language. You
know, if you go in the outskirts also,
they speak the more pure language or the
climate is better. Well, now it's so, you
know, industrialized
and there's
so much,
you know, pollution
everywhere so it's, questionable.
Anyway, he's walking there. Many incidents had happened
there. So the people of this tribe were
known, the men, to have soft hearts and
the women were known to have exceptional beauty
and modesty.
The men were very soft and the women
were very modest and very beautiful.
So he passes by and he sees on
a plaque, it's written
that Oh, people
and this is now in eloquent,
refined, pure, wholesome Arabic.
Oh, people you know, like, we have graffiti.
You know, sometimes sitting in the toilet and
following the arrow.
And then you have this myth in our
communities
that when you go to the loo and
the lavatory,
then you clear your throat to dispel the
jinn. What a joke.
Then what you is that how jinnards go?
There's this myth.
The speak about if you clear your throat
without any reason, that certain scholars say it
invalidates your prayer.
The jurors say do the clearing of the
throat if you have a problem that urine
is dropping and just change your posture to
make sure that there is no drops remaining.
It's got nothing to do to drive Jannat
away. It's
like
knowledge is so important.
So
he comes there and it's written on this
block.
Or people help a young man
who's gripped in a crush,
in an infatuation,
and he's head over heels over a woman?
How does he help himself?
This is so he's here to learn Arabic.
And I told you in the 7th century,
he was a philologist, he was a grammarian.
There's
so many incidents about his. One day I
couldn't sleep at night and I got up.
So I went in my dining room and
I took out my kitab and
I started reading and I stumbled over an
incident of Asmahi which is captured in Purtubi.
One day he was walking Purtubi. I mean,
Purtubi makes mention of this Asmari. There's so
many incidents about him and, there's this young
girl singing
and in her melodious voice she's saying that,
you know, I fell in love with this
person and it has destroyed me.
I ask Allah to forgive me for the
love and the infatuation I had over this
man.
So Asma'i said, she was repenting
from her infatuation
but her voice was so sweet that I
said your voice is so attractive and seductive
and melodious.
She's making tawba but I'm, like, she's creating
a sin with the tawba if you know
what I mean.
You know when it's a strange woman even
when she screams, ah, but she's so sweet.
But she's so cute.
And when it's your
own,
then it's gruff.
Somebody else is honey, then here he's like,
smell the coffee.
Excuse the pun.
May Allah give
us. May Allah give us. May Allah give
us love. May Allah give us warmness. May
Allah give us affection.
Date your spouse.
Excite your spouse, surprise your spouse.
The prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam said when
you're outside and if you're attracted to anyone,
come home because your spouse is no different.
Islam calls you back home. The world is
calling you outside.
So Asma'i said, I said to this girl,
Wow, sister. That's so articulate.
That's so stunning.
So she didn't fall for that. She said,
why are you praising me? Why are you
lauding me? This is not eloquent. Eloquent is
the words of
We gotta do q and a. Maybe I'm
a just do a sharp landing.
Okay. Let's mention this and call it today.
May Allah bless you. I hope I've,
you know, as Morana said, wanna keep it
formal, informal,
that that we take something. There's a lot
of things to take, to process, to digest,
to comprehend, to relate. Look here, I must
also say, every delinquent child is not necessarily
a result of poor upbringing
because you're gonna have serious problems than reconciling
with the rebellious children of Yaqub alaihis salam.
And you're gonna have a serious challenge
explaining the rebellious son Khanhan of Nuh alaihis
salam.
So every every rebellious child is not necessarily
is not necessarily
a result of wrong upbringing.
Commonly, averagely, yes, we are fallible and we
have so many mistakes we've made and we
can see that. We can see that. You
know, you've seen your son doing nonsense but
you know that's you in him.
You can't tell him that's me but you
know that's that's you. You know the boy
who said, dad, I brought my report and
I found yours also.
You
say, okay. Leave both in the closet there.
But because you he knows what you you
did. So what what what you're gonna thrill
him with?
The challenge is let me be frank. As
I said earlier,
today outside is too dangerous.
Me,
I I was, you know, a bit of
a delinquent in my school days
and may Allah bless my parents.
Though my parents in their own space were
not educated,
but they did everything to educate me.
They were simple minded. They didn't know much,
but they said no. No. Give my children
the best.
I mean, till today, I'm traveling for so
many years. My mom still cries every time
I travel.
Till today my mom, she gets emotional.
But, ma, you know my life is more
in the air than on the ground.
But that's a mother.
That's a parent.
They gave me knowledge. They educated me.
Today I can stand tall in society.
I can rub shoulders with the simple and
the elite. It's because of the values of
my parents that they have impressed upon me.
In our time, when a child was
playing truancy
and he scaled the fence of the school
and he was being a naughty boy,
what was a naughty boy? He went to
the shop around the corner there. He maybe
picked up one uncle stompy from the floor,
and he played Pacman.
I don't know if I'm too old here.
I'm I'm I'm talking of eighties.
I'm talking of eighties here. Now I'm just
being generic here, but actually that's what Allah
forgive we all did.
That that was a naughty boy.
You know the old folks that say, Allah
must forgive us, man. Hey. We did a
lot of wrong men.
We did a lot of wrong, lot of
wrong. Is uncle what you did?
You know me
and a Wallahi Allah is my witness.
I still have a vivid memory.
Probably I was 10 years old.
Right?
Mid eighties.
We plain.
Someone said wife.
You are so rude. I'm gonna tell your
mother you didn't say auntie.
When the world cup took place here,
there was a mainstream media that carried an
article
on some of the infamous
players
in mainstream
football.
One out of that, in that article during
World Cup,
was guilty of *.
Another,
in an interview had said, he had bedded
and slept with 500 women.
My son, 3rd son now, who's a father,
I
think he was 5 years old.
I was giving a talk back then.
He came out. He said, Abu, how did
all the aunties fit in one room?
That's how clean nature sends them.
That's how pure mother nature dispatches them.
And then this is what we do to
them.
This is how we
destroy
them. That mine was so clean and pure.
Wallah, I remember this as a 10 year
old child. That wife was crude, was harsh,
was brutal, was not dignified, was not respectful.
It was auntie, it was uncle. You couldn't
go straight to use those terms.
You take a youngster today doesn't know diplomatic
language when speaking to an Ustad. You wouldn't
say, or,
is your wife here?
Is that is that language?
Sayyidina Musa is returning with his wife from
Midian.
She's in confinement.
He sees a flame. He sees an amber.
He tells his wife, hold here. I see
some flames there, and live
ember. Maybe I'll get a sense of direction
there.
And then he says
stay here. The word
is a plural expression for a single person.
Again, an expression of absolute respect and dignity
when talking to his own partner and spouse.
The wife of Lut has been referred to
as ajuz.
Ajuz means old lady.
She was a kafira.
Some scholars say she was not old by
age.
Notwithstanding,
she was a disbeliever,
but the term ajuz
elderly woman was used because she was the
spouse of a Nabi.
Sorry uncle, is your wife here? What?
What?
Is Muhammad's mom here?
Auntie is uncle Ibrahim here?
They come to the door, wonderful looking.
Can you bring him in? Can you usher
the uncle in? Can you sit him down?
Can you make a conversation? How you keeping
uncle? My dad's in the bathroom. My mommy's
just in the kitchen. She'll be here. Can
I get you some water? Do you want
to use the bathroom? How you keeping uncle?
Where are you? All okay. How's things?
Can you make a 5 minute discussion and
then connect the seniors to the seniors or
even that's a big ask?
Well, let's mention this here and hopefully I
don't digress here so that we can do
some basic q and a. So
he wrote here the next day. He said,
when I seen this, I wrote it.
I I responded to the sentence. I said
treat
your fantasy
Conceal your your treat your melody.
Conceal your fantasy.
And listen, life is about
The next day I pass by, this unknown
person responds again and he writes there on
a stone there.
Easier said than done. How do I make
saber because everyday I'm gulping like blood of
death here because my crave, my fantasy, my
crush, my infatuation
is just driving me insane.
You know that guy say I'm fallible and
she's throwing sparks.
So I said, but then you shouldn't you
you don't see by the garage. Don't don't
hang out here. If you got anything flammable
substance, don't come there.
So he wrote the next day, and this
is very serious and this is very pertinent.
If you can't solve your addiction
and you can't suppress
your crave,
then maybe death is the only way out.
May Allah make it easy for you. That's
what he said. Not commit suicide. No. No.
No. If you cannot
and I'm saying, I love to give hope.
And I hope every addict can come out.
I've said it to every person recovering,
it's possible, it's not easy.
It's possible, it's not easy.
It's your choice. You can read it as
impossible
or you can read it as I'm possible.
It is possible. But if you're asking for
it to be easy, no. I cannot tell
you that. Is there any stats? No. There's
no stats.
Everybody is their own story.
So I like to give hope but I
want to be cautiously
optimistic.
But in recent times, sadly, we've seen so
many who come out, relapse, come out, relapse,
come out, relapse.
Simply cannot reintegrate.
If you committed,
even the sky is not your limit.
You can do anything.
The Sahaba, they dropped it. I always marvel
at the Sahaba. They were humans.
Anak
was a woman of beauty.
Had a relationship with her. Now this is
this is emotions attached. And I like to
say to the youth out there, may Allah
transmit my message. You know, they would phone
me.
I'm inundated.
Oh, I like her. She likes me. We're
happy and everything. Her parents are happy. It's
only my father's got an issue.
I said, you know what's your problem? 1st,
take responsibility.
You go in the shop. You take a
jacket. You put it on. You like it.
Everything is good. You post it on social
media. You get the likes. You get everything.
Everything is good. You negotiate the price. You
say you're gonna wait for this occasion. Work
out everything. Then you ask your mother, mommy,
can I buy a jacket?
Now when she says no, it's just not
a no to a jacket. It's a no
to the post. It's a no to social
media. It's a no to the occasion. It's
a no to the function. You created this
whole
relationship
and this whole attachment to this here. Now
you say, no, I don't wanna hurt my
mother but I don't wanna let go. And
then this just goes on and on and
it's an unending vicious circle and cycle.
Every second day, this is the story. You
start the relation, create the emotion, and then
9 out of 10, there's gonna be one
parent that's not happy. No. I don't want
to go into it without my parents blessings.
Well, then you have to drop it.
Had a relation with Anak. He then accepted
Islam.
Anak said to him, come. Let's meet up.
He said, no. I can't meet up. I'm
a Muslim. Now this is an emotion. It's
not easy. It's not easy to part with
an emotion.
It's an
attachment. So she said, okay. Let's get married.
Allah revealed the verse
You can't wait the polytheist
till she doesn't take the shahada.
He said I can't. Done. Over.
I mean how when the verse
was revealed
Some narrations say at that time said, now
Umar had 2 wives who had not accepted
Islam. And the verse came down you need
to part ways. He ended it. Finish.
You know, no. Okay. Listen. We're not getting
married but we can still be friends.
You never know.
Yeah. You know.
And, you know, even if I don't have
your phone number on my phone, you'll always
be in my heart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Remember, I'm always there for you.
Yeah.
What?
So he said
If you cannot
behave, manage yourself and say, no. This is
not a life, man. I I can't be
playing this game, man. Time is running. I
met a man in London who attended my
talk and he really appreciated it. He said
I went back and forth for 20 years.
And after 20 years, I said no. And
I'm grateful that Allah has given me a
life. He went back to his native country
Pakistan and he opened up rehab. Mashallah, he's
doing great work. I met a man in
Australia. I did an interview with him as
well. Also lived the life on the streets,
and then he said, no. It's enough, man.
You know what? I've I've I've got to
turn the corner, man. I gotta turn the
corner.
I've got to stand up for myself. And
he said, I was determined.
Discipline.
He who lives a life without discipline
is exposed to grievous ruin.
An undisciplined person is a headache to himself
and a heartache to others.
Yes.
Discipline. Life is all about discipline.
On a recent trip to London, when I
was taking the train in Dubai from terminal
a to terminal b,
So I just hopped on in. Every time
my eyes just, you know, on aviation, I
just pick up so many lessons because travel
just teaches me so much so much.
Earlier this year when I was in Mumbai,
I was standing at the wrong carousel waiting
for my bag. And I said, searching for
happiness in this world is like waiting for
your bag at the wrong carousel.
How frustrating is it? You turn in this
bag, you're rotating that bag, you're looking at
the monitor, then you're oh, you're at the
wrong carousel.
If you're looking for happiness in material things,
you're waiting at the wrong carousel. Happiness will
never arrive at your at before
you.
Yes. Indeed, you will find that peace.
Your bag might not be as big and
fancy as that. It will be simple, but
it will be wholesome.
But it will be yours.
It will be yours. It will be real.
It will be tangible.
I often say when you're traveling,
2 boarding gates next to each other,
but they're flying in opposite directions.
Is Karachi in New
York?
Last announcement. Oh, so you said Karachi in
New York next
to no. No. No. No. No. No. The
gates are next to each other. 2 people
can be buried next to each other. 1
in paradise, 1 in *.
The the the the
the were also with the Sahaba.
In.
The Sahaba had peace. The were
restless.
The next day when he came back,
he found a response and he found a
corpse there on the floor.
We tried, I couldn't manage the grave. I
couldn't resist the temptation.
My soul passed away. I'm happier of dying
in Allah's obedience than living in his disobedience.
May Allah bless you all.
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