Suhaib Webb – Ramadn Reflections Part 4 I’m Changing!
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I had 9,000 records
all in my room.
I used to steal
recycle bins
in the neighborhood
and use those to put,
put my records in there
because I couldn't find crates that could hold
all those records.
I started DJing when I was 11. You
would walk into my room, there was 2
technique 1200 turntables,
Gemini mixer. It was something that was integral
to my existence. I went and prayed Asar
at this mosque in Oklahoma,
And I
had
all this DJ equipment, and then, you know,
you couldn't take 9,000 records with you, but
the latest, greatest stuff.
I didn't know how to pray really yet,
so I was watching people pray,
and trying not to let them see me
watch them
pray. And then I know I'm going to
DJ at this party,
and it's like this tremendous sense of guilt.
So I I almost, like, ran out of
the mosque. You know?
And this one brother, and he was like,
man, you know, what is that stuff in
your car?
It was like the question I didn't want
anyone to ask me.
I didn't know what to say. And I
went to the party that night. The party
was pounding, man. You know, it was like,
yeah. It was good. You know?
And and then
Maghreb is going out.
So
I'm trying to figure a way
how I can pray and DJ at the
same time. So I'm in the booth DJing.
Right? I found this extended remix of this
song by Doctor Dre. Right? And I remember
being happy
that
this is the extended remake, so I can
actually go make wudu and pray Maghrib.
So as I'm going to the restroom,
and hear the irony of change starts to
come out. Right? Like, I'm happy I found
this record so I can worship.
The farther I get away from
the place, the louder the bass gets, so
the bass is still following me wherever I
go. And I think that's symbolic of change.
Like, it's very rare that you can just
separate yourself from
the mistakes.
So I'm making wudu,
and again, when you're a convert, wudu is
basically like a part time job. You just
don't go in there and, like
like, it's not like,
you know,
a a Shaolin Temple move that you can
do quickly.
And I remember while I was praying,
I heard people dancing to the chorus. I
would have moments where, like, I'm in the
prayer, and then that remix just pull me
out. So I'm like struggling to focus and
getting pulled out to the beat, struggling to
focus in prayer,
and and then there's like
a really an infinite number of energies because
I'm just struggling to pray right, let alone
to have, like, focus in prayer, like just
making sure I pray right. And in that
little 3 or 4 minutes,
that really is life.
Right? Very rarely do we amputate our self
from our evils, but our evils somehow follow
us or are things that we want to
change. You know, Islam is an event, but
Islam is also a process. Very rarely can
we completely change everything. We can amputate everything.
In fact, sometimes that's more harmful.
But
adapting and realigning things, and negotiating things, and
improving things,
I think really is more
in line with faith and submission
than just complete amputation,
either this extreme or that extreme.