Suhaib Webb – How To Fight Right!
AI: Summary ©
The importance of conflict transformation is emphasized, with a focus on finding a way to create a sense of engagement in Islam and avoiding the temper of open debate. The speakers stress the importance of showing genuine interest in hearing people and avoiding the need to show a general interest in hearing. The need to show a general interest in hearing and finding out what people say is also emphasized. The importance of reaching truth and denying ego and tension is emphasized, as well as finding commonality in creating an idea of a patient position and being attentive in listening to conversations. The need to show genuine interest in hearing people is emphasized, and commonality in community and the macro level of community are also emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
We actually value discussion.
We we don't necessarily see conflict, and we'll
talk about this in the middle of short,
hujarat.
We don't Islam, we don't call it conflict
resolution.
We call it conflict transformation.
Conflict can be transformative
if it's
taken in and addressed in the right way.
If it has Adam,
if it has a haglock,
if it has character. So what I thought
may help all of you, especially,
you know, as you're dealing with coworkers and
maybe your children or others, and it may
come up like what how what do is
will some think about this or, you know,
how does this Islam look at things like
this?
Actually, in Al Azhar, for over
800 years, we had a class on how
to argue,
and how to debate.
It's like a really beautiful science mashallah. And
it was taught,
in the university until
the early nineties, and now it's taught in
the masjid by some of the masheikh.
And the adab al baathur manabra is how
to argue.
How do you argue? Because arguing is not
necessarily bad.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says in the Quran,
Don't argue with the people of the book
unless you argue with what's better.
Allah has heard the woman
who has argued with her husband and complained
to Allah.
So there is what's called Aljidal,
Al Mahmoud,
and Jidal Al Mabboom.
Islam recognizes that there is a a beneficial
type of arguing,
a a a beneficial sense of discussion,
and then there's that which is not beneficial.
What I wanted to do with you tonight
quickly because of time
is is just give you, since we're talking
about Abu Bakr and Omar having this kind
of heated fight. Right? This heated argument
in front of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
What are the etiquettes of
debate
and argument
in Islam? And you're going to find the
Ulema,
use
the verses from Surah to Sadah. So you
wanna remember that Surah,
verses 24,
2 verses 27.
Mashallah.
And Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says after
This part of the verse here, and maybe
if someone can help me type this in
the chat box,
recognizes the first etiquette
of how we engage people. And this this
is gonna be really applicable in interfaith spaces.
If you're in in political spaces,
at work,
if you're on, you know, some kind of
group within your children's school,
this is these are things these are foundations
of engagement in Islam that I think are
very important.
So the from the first part of the
verse, we take the first etiquette of debate,
and that is that we should start with
things which there is commonality
between us
and those we are arguing
with if possible.
So number 1 is find commonality.
It's very easy to start with differences. They
ask
one of the famous peace negotiators.
I think it was Jesse Jackson.
They ask him what made you so successful
in the nineties as a peace negotiator? He
said I would find commonality.
We find in the 3rd chapter of the
Quran,
Oh, people of the book,
let's let's work on where we agree on.
Right? Intersectionality
is something people like to talk about nowadays.
Right? The idea of being compelled to work
together on issues
even though we may differ on other issues.
But even when I'm arguing with someone, let
me at least try to create,
some some room for trust.
Right? And some some room for
mutual
concerns.
So there's a sense of a mutual concern.
So if you and I both have a
mutual concern,
I don't necessarily see you as a enemy.
I'm able now to see you as a
potential ally.
And that's very powerful because that allows us
to kinda turn down the temper, if you
will, of the problem.
The second thing, and this is a very
beautiful point,
And either we or you are on guidance
or astray.
And this isn't the arena of debate, and
this is what Allah is telling
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam to say, even
though the prophet is on the truth.
So either we or you are guided or
or astray.
And and, what what this is called in
in
is that I I don't walk into this
situation. Of course,
we're talking about open debate now
with the idea that I know I'm a
100% correct.
But do not walk into it,
assuming that I am a 100% correct.
Yusuf, that is the translation that is the
Arabic of this verse that we're looking at,
on our screen right now. Thank you, Zakaria,
for sharing it.
So
Saydna Imam Shafi used to say, perhaps my
correct
opinion is wrong,
and perhaps your wrong opinion
is right.
Again, the idea here is to reach the
truth,
but to diffuse some of the ego and
the tension that exist in normally in discussions
like this.
The next etiquette is in verse 25. I
hope everybody,
can see, the screen inshallah.
And that is
that we should not use
nicknames or
demeaning terminology.
We should not make fun of others. This
is gonna come up in Surat Hujarat, by
the way, in greater detail.
Those people, those adversaries that we're arguing with.
And we need to be very careful of
falling into like the right or the left,
the rhetoric of each. We're we're a prophetic
community, man. We have a prophetic responsibility.
We are bound by prophetic morality.
So very beautifully,
You're not gonna be asking about our sins.
We're not gonna be asking about your evil.
The the the tent the meaning here is
like we're not gonna
Like, we're not going to try to destroy
your character
nor should you try to destroy our character
because that's not the issue.
Right? That's a side issue.
We wanna focus on the actual topic.
The next also
Allah is the one eventually
at the end of the day.
If we cannot come to a conclusion, okay,
Allah will decide between us
and you.
So the last is if there is no
not the last, the second to the last.
If there is no conclusion,
then we leave it to Allah. Subhanahu wa
ta'ala. Even if I believe I'm a 100%.
Okay.
And the last, and this is really beautiful.
The last 2 is that we have to
show a general,
genuine
interest in hearing what people have to say,
even if we know it's wrong.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala orders the Prophet to
say,
Show me those that you associate partners with.
Show them to me.
One of the scholars said this verse implies
that the prophet is
going to pay attention to them,
and give them his undivided attention
so that he's able to understand and refute
their shirk.
But he's asking them, meaning that he is
deliberately engaged.
He's not just dismissing them.
He's not just giving his position and turning
away.
And then finally the clarification
and taking a position
in a way that of course is classy
and in a way, alhamdulillah, that appreciates.
There are there are no partners with Allah.
Allah is the one and only Aziz Al
Hakim. This is my position.
So here, subhanAllah, these verses, and we could
talk about them forever,
especially the next part because the role of
the person that's engaged in these is to
not only bring good news, but also to
warn people. It can go on and on
and on. But I don't wanna take too
much of your time. The point is we're
talking about the 2nd verse of Surat Al
Hujurat where Sayidna Umar and Sayidna Abu Bakr,
Sayidna Abu Bakr and Sayidna Umaru Khotab
get in this very heated debate.
And last night,
for those of us who,
sadly watched what took place, right,
That made me critically think about some things
I had learned in the past about the
etiquettes as Muslims.
And then also at a macro level, if
we see how Muslims are arguing and engaging
one another online,
this stuff unfortunately is not even a reference.
So the Quran
is giving us some foundations for discussions and
arguments. Number 1, we said it takes the
nuance of patient position.
Some arguments are good. Some arguments are not
good.
That's a call we have to make in
our own.
The first is to find commonality.
The second is to create this idea that,
you know, we both can learn from one
another and
Maybe I'm right. You're right. Maybe I'm wrong.
You're wrong.
The third is that we don't demean people
with nicknames and and and abusive terms.
Allah says
in is coming up in the 10th verse.
Don't make fun of people. Don't bully people.
Right? The idea of bullying is there.
And then finally that we leave it to
Allah
to judge between us, and then at the
end, right, to be attentive in listening to
those even that we don't agree with,
and trying to understand the positions that they've
taken. We're gonna stop now, inshallah. We can
take any questions that you may have. Insha'Allah.
In the next week, we'll meet again and
continue. But each time we're going to try
to address something that is,
important
to,
what's going on in our lives.
Right? And I hope inshallah that you you'll
participate, and I'm really happy to see everyone