Suhaib Webb – How To Fight Right!

We actually value discussion.

We we don't necessarily see conflict, and we'll

talk about this in the middle of short,

hujarat.

We don't Islam, we don't call it conflict

resolution.

We call it conflict transformation.

Conflict can be transformative

if it's

taken in and addressed in the right way.

If it has Adam,

if it has a haglock,

if it has character. So what I thought

may help all of you, especially,

you know, as you're dealing with coworkers and

maybe your children or others, and it may

come up like what how what do is

will some think about this or, you know,

how does this Islam look at things like

this?

Actually, in Al Azhar, for over

800 years, we had a class on how

to argue,

and how to debate.

It's like a really beautiful science mashallah. And

it was taught,

in the university until

the early nineties, and now it's taught in

the masjid by some of the masheikh.

And the adab al baathur manabra is how

to argue.

How do you argue? Because arguing is not

necessarily bad.

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says in the Quran,

Don't argue with the people of the book

unless you argue with what's better.

Allah has heard the woman

who has argued with her husband and complained

to Allah.

So there is what's called Aljidal,

Al Mahmoud,

and Jidal Al Mabboom.

Islam recognizes that there is a a beneficial

type of arguing,

a a a beneficial sense of discussion,

and then there's that which is not beneficial.

What I wanted to do with you tonight

quickly because of time

is is just give you, since we're talking

about Abu Bakr and Omar having this kind

of heated fight. Right? This heated argument

in front of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

What are the etiquettes of

debate

and argument

in Islam? And you're going to find the

Ulema,

use

the verses from Surah to Sadah. So you

wanna remember that Surah,

verses 24,

2 verses 27.

Mashallah.

And Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says after

This part of the verse here, and maybe

if someone can help me type this in

the chat box,

recognizes the first etiquette

of how we engage people. And this this

is gonna be really applicable in interfaith spaces.

If you're in in political spaces,

at work,

if you're on, you know, some kind of

group within your children's school,

this is these are things these are foundations

of engagement in Islam that I think are

very important.

So the from the first part of the

verse, we take the first etiquette of debate,

and that is that we should start with

things which there is commonality

between us

and those we are arguing

with if possible.

So number 1 is find commonality.

It's very easy to start with differences. They

ask

one of the famous peace negotiators.

I think it was Jesse Jackson.

They ask him what made you so successful

in the nineties as a peace negotiator? He

said I would find commonality.

We find in the 3rd chapter of the

Quran,

Oh, people of the book,

let's let's work on where we agree on.

Right? Intersectionality

is something people like to talk about nowadays.

Right? The idea of being compelled to work

together on issues

even though we may differ on other issues.

But even when I'm arguing with someone, let

me at least try to create,

some some room for trust.

Right? And some some room for

mutual

concerns.

So there's a sense of a mutual concern.

So if you and I both have a

mutual concern,

I don't necessarily see you as a enemy.

I'm able now to see you as a

potential ally.

And that's very powerful because that allows us

to kinda turn down the temper, if you

will, of the problem.

The second thing, and this is a very

beautiful point,

And either we or you are on guidance

or astray.

And this isn't the arena of debate, and

this is what Allah is telling

the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam to say, even

though the prophet is on the truth.

So either we or you are guided or

or astray.

And and, what what this is called in

in

is that I I don't walk into this

situation. Of course,

we're talking about open debate now

with the idea that I know I'm a

100% correct.

But do not walk into it,

assuming that I am a 100% correct.

Yusuf, that is the translation that is the

Arabic of this verse that we're looking at,

on our screen right now. Thank you, Zakaria,

for sharing it.

So

Saydna Imam Shafi used to say, perhaps my

correct

opinion is wrong,

and perhaps your wrong opinion

is right.

Again, the idea here is to reach the

truth,

but to diffuse some of the ego and

the tension that exist in normally in discussions

like this.

The next etiquette is in verse 25. I

hope everybody,

can see, the screen inshallah.

And that is

that we should not use

nicknames or

demeaning terminology.

We should not make fun of others. This

is gonna come up in Surat Hujarat, by

the way, in greater detail.

Those people, those adversaries that we're arguing with.

And we need to be very careful of

falling into like the right or the left,

the rhetoric of each. We're we're a prophetic

community, man. We have a prophetic responsibility.

We are bound by prophetic morality.

So very beautifully,

You're not gonna be asking about our sins.

We're not gonna be asking about your evil.

The the the tent the meaning here is

like we're not gonna

Like, we're not going to try to destroy

your character

nor should you try to destroy our character

because that's not the issue.

Right? That's a side issue.

We wanna focus on the actual topic.

The next also

Allah is the one eventually

at the end of the day.

If we cannot come to a conclusion, okay,

Allah will decide between us

and you.

So the last is if there is no

not the last, the second to the last.

If there is no conclusion,

then we leave it to Allah. Subhanahu wa

ta'ala. Even if I believe I'm a 100%.

Okay.

And the last, and this is really beautiful.

The last 2 is that we have to

show a general,

genuine

interest in hearing what people have to say,

even if we know it's wrong.

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala orders the Prophet to

say,

Show me those that you associate partners with.

Show them to me.

One of the scholars said this verse implies

that the prophet is

going to pay attention to them,

and give them his undivided attention

so that he's able to understand and refute

their shirk.

But he's asking them, meaning that he is

deliberately engaged.

He's not just dismissing them.

He's not just giving his position and turning

away.

And then finally the clarification

and taking a position

in a way that of course is classy

and in a way, alhamdulillah, that appreciates.

There are there are no partners with Allah.

Allah is the one and only Aziz Al

Hakim. This is my position.

So here, subhanAllah, these verses, and we could

talk about them forever,

especially the next part because the role of

the person that's engaged in these is to

not only bring good news, but also to

warn people. It can go on and on

and on. But I don't wanna take too

much of your time. The point is we're

talking about the 2nd verse of Surat Al

Hujurat where Sayidna Umar and Sayidna Abu Bakr,

Sayidna Abu Bakr and Sayidna Umaru Khotab

get in this very heated debate.

And last night,

for those of us who,

sadly watched what took place, right,

That made me critically think about some things

I had learned in the past about the

etiquettes as Muslims.

And then also at a macro level, if

we see how Muslims are arguing and engaging

one another online,

this stuff unfortunately is not even a reference.

So the Quran

is giving us some foundations for discussions and

arguments. Number 1, we said it takes the

nuance of patient position.

Some arguments are good. Some arguments are not

good.

That's a call we have to make in

our own.

The first is to find commonality.

The second is to create this idea that,

you know, we both can learn from one

another and

Maybe I'm right. You're right. Maybe I'm wrong.

You're wrong.

The third is that we don't demean people

with nicknames and and and abusive terms.

Allah says

in is coming up in the 10th verse.

Don't make fun of people. Don't bully people.

Right? The idea of bullying is there.

And then finally that we leave it to

Allah

to judge between us, and then at the

end, right, to be attentive in listening to

those even that we don't agree with,

and trying to understand the positions that they've

taken. We're gonna stop now, inshallah. We can

take any questions that you may have. Insha'Allah.

In the next week, we'll meet again and

continue. But each time we're going to try

to address something that is,

important

to,

what's going on in our lives.

Right? And I hope inshallah that you you'll

participate, and I'm really happy to see everyone