Suhaib Webb – Finding the Path Part Five The Qualities of Allah’s Friends
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Okay.
So we were reflecting over the
powerful speech that we saw last week
on the water. There's actually a book out
on that speech too. It's pretty cool. It'd
be nice if someone like, added like Islamic
stuff to it.
And noted how he talked about default mechanisms,
how people tend to, like, fall into patterns.
I talk about that a lot in relationships.
Right? Falling into,
like, patterns and not being aware of things.
And then we challenged ourselves to think about,
like, fall 5
default patterns, if possible, like maximum.
It doesn't have to be 5 that we
could try to identify throughout the week. So
does anyone have a personal reflection
or an experience that they wanna share?
Yes.
So,
so yesterday,
I was at Olive Garden,
and I was picking up for me and
my siblings. They'd already ordered 1 online. I
was coming from work today, so I can
pick it up. And I get to the
counter, and there were 2 people working, taking
orders, giving out the orders that were already
done, but then they're also juggling Uber Eats
and Yelp and all this other stuff. So
I was getting really frustrated with it because
it took them 40 minutes to get me
my stuff, and it turned out that most
of it was already ready. Oh, wow. Just
because they couldn't
finish one thing through because they had to
stop and pick up an Uber Eats, a
call, or this or that that. So at
one point, I had to stop just being
frustrated that I was taking so long and
then just feel empathy for these 2 people
who are juggling the job of, like, 4
people and doing it just by themselves. Plus,
the lady was being really nice. Like, she's
Muslim, so she goes extra bread sticks and
all this stuff.
So I'm like,
have I think it helped once we started
chatting because I was there for a while.
Like, it really humanized her to me. She's
not just a person who's like not giving
me my order, but she's a person who's
really stressed because she's got a lot to
handle and it's 9 o'clock at night.
That's pretty cool.
Did anyone notice like, when you when you
did this, I I noticed this about myself
that it was always a break away from
being selfish.
Like, it tended to be, like, something really
rooted in me.
So, yeah, I like, when you said that,
it reminded me of an experience I had.
Yes, sir?
You both said that it reminded me of,
like,
a self paced experience that I was sort
of going through. So I had I was
in Philly,
and I drove down there. So I was
parking my car. And so there was a
car parked in front of me, a car
parked in front of that. So it's 3
cars. Right?
Philly is notorious too bad for, like, parking
tickets. So you gotta, like, get parking all
the time. Right? I went to go get
a parking ticket, and it was, like, have
a printout after you paid. And I went
there, and there was already a printed ticket.
It was, like, an hour or so, which
was enough time for what I was doing.
But then I thought about
the person that paid for it,
and I looked at the cars, and I
was like, there's only one car that doesn't
have a ticket on it.
And so kind of that's why I, like,
thought literally, I was like, what would Omar
and Fafal do? And I put the ticket
on it. And then as soon as that
happened, the other the 3rd person whose car
was, like, also parked there, said, like, hey,
mister.
I'm about to leave. Do you want to
throw up my ticket? And it was actually,
like, 15 minutes more That's fine. Than the
5th ticket that I had worth it. So
I would just, like you know what I
mean?
And so again, what you're saying, like, it
comes from a place of selfishness,
and we become selfless.
Yeah. We we actually receive more sometimes
by not being selfish. Right?
That's profound. Anyone else
struggle with, like, the default mechanisms? Yes, sir.
Come on. Right? Come on. Come on.
One of the things that came up in
our group is also kinda related to what
you were saying. You're talking about time and,
like, how we prioritize time.
We assume that, you know, the more things
you cut out, the more time you have
for something else.
So say, for example, you're doing self care
related things or Islamic
like, related things, And then you start to
get more work. So you think, oh, I
don't have time for that anymore. And then
as soon as you cut those things out,
all the buttock is gone from your time,
and suddenly you're super stressed. So
you think, you know, cutting out that 30
minutes of Quran reading in the morning gives
you more time for something else.
But in reality, doing that will fulfill your
time much better. So it's kind of like
what you were saying, prioritizing properly and being
less selfish will increase your somehow you'll find
a way. Yes,
sir? I found this exercise itself to be
humbling because
you can come in thinking, like, I can't
think of any default set like, settings. Or
maybe there's, like, one
One person speaks, like, okay, I have that.
Other person speaks, like, I have that too.
Then by then, you're like, wow. Like,
that makes you reflect. Right?
It can be humbling. Yeah. I mean, one
of the default settings that he kind of
alluded to is like not being vulnerable or
like
we tend to,
like all of us, not you. All of
us tend to like,
maybe I can say me, not all of
us.
We may tend to mass vulnerabilities.
But then like when we find other people
around us that are honest, we we find
the capacity to be honest with ourselves. Like,
very powerful. Right?
That's why
Right? Like, the help of God is with
the group.
And then, you know, we'll talk about something
interesting tonight that happened to the prophet, where
Allah commanded him to talk with people.
Like, it's not just like a one man
show. Like, you're commanded to engage.
So that's that's like a really good point,
man. And that's why community is central to
faith. Right?
It's very difficult. There's a hadith, the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam forbid someone to live
alone. Doesn't mean
Don't freak out. Right? But what it means
is like, unless there's a need like, you
know, zombie apocalypse, I don't know, whatever. Like
there's something happening or a time of fitna.
Right? A time of abnormality.
Like in general, we've been ordered to mix
with people.
Which is like profound. Right? And that's that's
very beautiful. Yes?
I'm sorry. Oh, she don't know the sigh
rule. My hand might be soft. Who's gonna
give her the who's gonna explain the sigh
rule, man?
No. Hold on. We have a sigh rule.
Do you know about the sorry rule? I
don't. You came from the Bay Area. So
who's gonna explain the sorry rule? Who remembers
the sorry rule
from like a year ago?
Sorry, I gotta pay $5. Yeah. I sound
like that. Yeah. So you have to say
you don't you don't have to say sorry.
Like, you don't have to say sorry for
asking a question or like speaking or
Yeah. Like because like we feel like our
community has been conditioned to apologize
for sharing.
That's like crazy. Right? You know, so
please share. Sorry.
So, actually, in one of our
concept of forgiveness and
how sometimes
either you don't have to forgive or you
do have to forgive if it's based on
your own dignity.
And
I guess, like, my perspective is a little
bit different. It's like it creates
it creates, like, this
this domino effect where you're like, no. I'm
not gonna forgive. I'm not gonna forgive. This
person didn't do right to me, so I'm
just gonna move on with my life. But
it actually builds up this toxic
nature in your heart where
you start to not forgive yourself.
Wow. And then when you don't forgive yourself,
it's What do you mean by you don't
forgive yourself? For example, you start to make
excuses for yourself. Like when you judge someone
or you're annoyed. Oh. It's like, no, I'm
just annoyed. That sucks. I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna say, like I'm not gonna
feel I'm not gonna have to say sorry
to myself for thinking that way. Oh.
So,
like and I just I was thinking about
that. Like, that can actually create and, you
know,
create those default mechanisms that you may have
if you don't start to resolve them. Forgive
yourself or ask yourself why you're feeling this
way
just so often throughout your day. Mhmm. Because
there's people who hold grudges for x amount
of time,
and
those experiences can, you know,
they can create, like I said, those concepts
of judgment or why this person did something
or when they did something. And
for you yourself, you're just like, oh, well,
I don't have to forgive myself because I'm
right.
What's that that famous quote like you become
what you hate? You know what I mean?
Like you become what you despise? Like if
you're not careful,
like by
having that sense of kind of retribution, then
we
embody, like, what we
it's very powerful.
Anyone else wanna share? Yes.
Yara.
Thank you for removing my name.
So I got, this new job, and my
boss was telling me, like, walk me through
the process. And
then he says, where were you abroad? And
I said, Saudi Arabia. And he said, where?
And I said, Mecca. And he was like,
oh,
I studied about that when I was in
school. So I was like, cool. And he
was like, yeah, that's the place where, like,
people, like, you know, fall over each other
and, like, die.
And I usually would get really upset and
I would, like, say something back and I
just looked at him and was like,
no.
But that's it.
And then I left the office and I
was like, wow, that was really bad. You
should have defended your religion. And then I
was like, I got like mad at myself.
So the whole, like, train ride to Queens,
I'm like, wow, what a bad Muslim, all
these things. And then I caught myself and
I was like, maybe in the future you'll
have a chance to, like,
kind of, like, tell him what Mecca is
about without, like, being really upset over it.
So, yeah. But I wanted to please explain
so much.
And and to be Muslim in America is
to always play without a script.
You know what I mean? Like it's very
hard to be ready
for like
No seriously, like things happen really unscripted.
That, like, we see like with Ilhan. Right?
Like things happen to people
that are just unbelievable.
And then like,
our students here, I don't know if you
heard this week, we had someone who committed
suicide in one of our dorms. He wasn't
Muslim,
but, like, we have Muslim students and other
students who live in that dorm with this
person.
Like, that's unscripted. Right? Like, it's not, I
don't think we should expect ourselves to constantly
react perfectly to unscripted,
unprepared moments. So I think you did better
than I would have done.
You know what I mean? Anyone
else wanna
yes, ma'am?
Here's like a really beautiful prophetic tradition, like
don't look at people above you. But like
people who are less Look at people who
are less fortunate you than you, so that
you'll be thankful. Right?
There's a fine line between looking down on
people, and then
being merciful and empathetic and finding like
Like empathy leads to gratefulness. Right?
Feeling empathetic towards others.
That's like really that's really nice.
Anyone else before we move on?
To anything?
So, like, I think one thing I experienced
in all this is, like, I slipped out
of out of thinking about this for, like,
a few days. It kinda felt like Ramadan,
man.
I don't know if anyone had the experience
like when you stop fasting,
so you're not like, aware of yourself.
So as we get closer to Ramadan,
what I kinda had you do, is what
Al Ghazadi calls the fast of the soul.
The fast of the soul is when, like,
I'm disciplining myself internally.
Not to the point that it becomes counterproductive.
And it's and like fasting with my will.
So I'm like, checking my default mechanisms,
examining,
my emotions and how I feel.
And that takes
We didn't get into it in this text
that we're going through, but there's some things
that come before this even in our tradition,
and that's like triggers.
Like what brings about
those default mechanisms. So it like, kind of
walks us back. It's very interesting. And maybe,
in Ramadan,
we'll we'll get to that. So it's like
really good to see everybody.
Just just as a reminder, so on Tuesdays
we're actually going through
a set of traditions,
of the prophet that talk about the friends
of God.
Like, who are those people, who are the
aulia?
And we gave kind of an introduction
that these are not impossible things.
And that everyone will be held
accountable for their ability. Like, not everybody has
the same ability.
Not everybody can perform the same.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in the
43rd chapter,
Like, it's not the people who dispense mercy.
Like,
ability, capability,
religious ability,
that's part of what's called our risk.
So some people are different. So like,
if you hear these things and you're like,
well I'm not doing it like that person,
but I may be doing it like in
a different way, like I can't give. I
don't have a hedge fund so I'm not
like, throwing out mass dead presidents to people.
But like, maybe I can give $5.
But like, maybe the sincerity in that
is more. And that's that's that person's recognition
of what they can do.
So,
when you hear some of these things, don't
like,
get caught up in
like It's like when you watch like, you
know, your favorite athlete or actor, actress, whoever
like perform, like, we're not gonna be like
them.
Right? Very few people have that ability.
So we we mentioned the first narration actually
is the foundation of everything in this discussion,
and that is because
the foundation of a relationship with God is
based on submission and obedience.
We talked about that before.
And
there's this beautiful tradition
that is
related by our prophet where he quotes God
as saying, you know, that
Like, nobody will come close to me with
anything more that I love than what I've
obligated.
So establishing
like those foundations. We don't just see obligations
as empty commands,
we see them as as
exercising our spiritual potential and capacity.
Uncovering something about ourselves. That's why salah is
called istiftah.
The opening prayer is called istiftah, which means
I've I've gained a victory.
Because you gained a victory over yourself, man.
You prayed.
So that's why fat means like a military
victory.
Salah is called istiftah,
when you open it, the first supplication
is I've I've sought this victory, meaning through
salah
I'm gonna overcome my soul, the bad the
bad default mechanisms.
I've defeated the world around me that's maybe
keeping me from praying.
I have defeated Satan.
So,
first step is really to establish those obligations.
And then he continued, he said,
like, the person will continue to draw near
to me by doing extra good. Like, going
beyond the call.
So there's like zakat and there's charity.
And it says,
quoting God, like, until I love that person.
And when God loves you, man, you're gonna
blossom because we said the word love is
from a seed.
Egyptian are here. What's up? Alright. Now we
can relax.
I have a unique affinity. I lived in
Egypt for 7 years, man. So, if I
say something you don't understand, you're like, oh,
it's Egyptian.
But
like, hub has to grow.
So to be loved by God is to
discover your potential.
And,
and the the the narration says, so when
I love that person,
I become the hearing by which he and
she hears. Meaning, they will adhere to
the commands
and living a godly life as though they
are the actual hearing, like they're actually hearing
with God. So it's a metaphor. Right?
And I'll become the vision by which he
or she sees. We talked about that a
little bit,
last time.
And the hand by which he or she
grasps, and the legs by which he or
she walks, meaning they're not going to be
involved in evil, man. They won't use these
things for oppression or harm.
And if that person asks me,
I will give it to them, this life
or the next.
And if they seek my help, I will
aid them. And we said like, establishing the
obligations really is based on kind of 4
things. Because we have to think about spirituality
in the post modern context. That's where we
live.
Although those sound like anonyms.
1st, is we have to reformat reformat
maybe our attitude towards the obligations. Like what
were our Some people the obligations can be
triggering, man.
You know, halal and haram can become triggering
for people.
So like, taking time out to relearn
and reformat
where I may have bad experiences.
Especially related to religion.
And if I myself have, like,
if I'm mistaken also. Right? So it's not
just like a selfish
examination.
But like I mentioned, I think to you
before, I said, man, we had a a
young person that brought a Quran
to us here and asked us to take
it because they were abused by their Quran
teacher that taught them with that Quran.
It's like
healing, man.
People have had bad experiences in faith communities
and with faith leadership.
And then they blame themselves, especially if the
person is more religious than them. They blame
themselves because they think like, I'm not I'm
not towing the line. But in fact, no,
you're just being mistreated by somebody.
And that's like a really really big problem.
The second is finding a place to grow
your religious soil, man. Grow, like find a
soil to grow your religion,
to cultivate yourself.
Finding community, finding family,
a source, a strong supporting cast.
And we mentioned, like, over and over in
the Quran,
the Sahaba are called
Like, they're like a seed that's planted.
It grows, like, that soil. Right?
It's very important.
Number 3 is to surround ourselves with a
strong supporting cast. Right?
So
I'm nurturing myself in a healthy community, I
have a strong supporting cast of people
that I can be honest with.
And then understanding
devotion and worship Islamically really follows through, like,
on 4 things.
We went over this in detail, but I'm
just reviewing.
Number 1 is like an intellectual investment.
What does it mean?
So I used to teach in Oklahoma. I
used to teach 13 year olds, man. That
was fun.
So
I was I'm a I'm a convert, so
conversion, like religion is always like
an exploration.
I don't know how to explain it. Like,
there's always something new you learn. It's always
like
It's like kind of a different maybe
ways people look at religion. So I think
from conversion it's like being in a room
with no lights on, you know, like bumping
your head a few times,
pushing some people out a window for perhaps
on accident, and your zeal,
like finally figuring it out over time.
So I asked these young men because I
was interested.
I said to them like you guys are
born Muslim, it's so amazing. I can't imagine
how you look at life, you know. So
I was trying to like understand.
No, I was serious, like,
man, you guys are interesting tonight. What's going
on?
There's no Celtics jokes tonight also, by the
way. That's that's Haram. So
we're playing the Warriors, man.
They played Janaza for us.
But like So I asked them like,
what does Islam mean to you?
So they all gave me like the Sunday
school answer.
And I said, but no, what does it
like you, like what's the word? What's your
personal synonym?
And then one of them said like, I
don't like this teacher, you know? Like, it's
like making us think and stuff. Right? I
was like, no. Like, I wanna know like,
what is you What's the first thing that
comes to mind?
And and one of them he was like,
pain.
Like fear, man. Like, I'm scared, man. Like
when I'm I'm I've always been forced to
kind of practice.
Like I've never
like been enticed to practice.
So, like, that's what I meant by, like,
there's an intellectual investment that takes like this
opportunity to reflect and say like, what what
do these things actually mean
to me?
Then
the the second is, of course,
it coming into the heart and being able
to settle
in the heart over time and wrestle with
it.
And then there's the investment in the practice
of it.
So like I've I've become someone now who
who lives.
So I learn about prayer,
I buy into prayer,
then I pray,
like as an example.
And then the 4th is it should impact
my my character.
So it's like what's called the adeb of
Ibadah.
Like what classical scholars call, like,
the the
etiquettes of worship.
The second,
obligation after like those obligations that are related
to the things that most of us know
about, and we talked about this before, we
noted that it tends to be ignored, are
the emotional obligations. So, like, what am I
attached to?
What what like pushes my sense of total
value?
What's intrinsic to who I am?
What can move me internally?
What kind of person am I emotionally?
You know, I'm 46, so
I I I can't give anyone
advice. Right?
But there's one thing I wish I had
when I was younger that I have now.
When you're younger,
I don't know how to explain it, like,
the outer is louder than the inner.
At least at least for men. I can't
tell women how they feel.
My mother always told my father it was
the opposite, but
as you get older,
that internal voice
becomes louder and you start to realize like,
it's kind of like watching yourself in replay
because you slow down.
You're like man, I need to work on
this, or I need to think about how
I'm carrying myself, or I need to stop.
Like there's an advantage to getting older that
at least I missed maybe when I was
younger.
That the inner becomes more amplified, that voice
that tells you like, you know, you're like
really insecure and that's why you act this
way.
Or like, you know, these kind of things
make you angry.
That you're like, I was oblivious to.
And then when I look back at my
life I'm like, that's true man. Did a
lot. Right?
Try to get that now.
It's really important. It's a good quality. It
will save you inshallah a lot of trouble.
So emotional
obligations.
And we noted that in the Quran, of
course,
the prophet Muhammad is commanded to worship and
he's commanded to learn,
But he's also commanded to be merciful.
He's commanded to love.
He's commanded to forgive. He's commanded to discipline.
And he's commanded to look after people.
So one of the most interesting verses that
kind of highlights this,
that I was reflecting on, and then I
started reading,
is the a 100 and 59th verse in
the 3rd chapter. It's like really beautiful, man.
So chapter 3 verse 159.
It says,
It's like
this chapter happens after
Uhud.
Like Uhud is the catastrophe. Right?
Like everything goes wrong in this battle. Everyone
here knows what Uhud is, right? The second
battle after Badr. Badr is like successful. Nobody
thought they were gonna win.
They won.
So kind of walk into Uhud with some
bonafides, man. Like, yeah, what's up? And then
lose
and and lose, like, in a mighty way.
And then, of course,
Sayidna Muhammad, he lost his uncle.
Sayidna Hamza,
there's like a lot of loss in Uhud,
Like, a lot of things happen.
So the prophet doesn't only lose like the
battle, he loses like He loses again, and
this is the the the theme of the
seerah is that the prophet always loses supporters.
To remind him, it's Allah.
So he lost his
dad, his mom, his grandfather, his uncle.
He just loo he loses his whole city.
So he said like the sira, one of
the themes of of the prophet's life is
like, you may lose, but actually you found.
It's very like, it's not easy, man. That's
a tough one.
So,
after Uhud,
you know, you would expect the prophet to
be like,
mad man.
But he's so kind to the Sahaba man.
To the point where it's like,
it's like, wow. Like how? Like how are
you how are you nice?
Even though And they didn't listen to him.
The Quran chastises them.
But the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam, when
he
sits with them and he talks with them,
like he almost like, it's like he placates
them a little bit. So they were like
shocked.
He he holds them accountable. Right? But like,
with Rahma.
So Allah says in this verse,
It's out of God's mercy that you're merciful
to them.
So it links
this extension of prophetic Rahma
to guidance.
Right? Like when Allah says to the prophet,
you didn't throw it when you threw
it.
Allah threw it. So it's like
Like that's the meaning. I can say it
in Arabic because it's hard to say it
in English. It's like, you weren't merciful when
you were merciful, but God was merciful.
Like you're just an extension
of the mercy, And you chose to be
merciful, hamdas salallahu alayhi wa sallam.
So the the verses,
which
means by the rahmah of Allah, you are
lenient to them.
You you're
it's hard to translate the word, man. It's
like,
You're very forgiving and, like, you're kind to
them. Like you you As the prophet said,
like I am to you like your fathers.
Meaning like in mercy, not in power and
control.
And if you had been hard to them,
if you had been harsh in your heart
to them,
He didn't say He
said
He didn't say like if you spoke to
them in a harsh way.
He said no, if your heart, even your
heart would have been like man,
they would have abandoned you.
It's like talking about the Sahaba.
So then Allah says
to
them, like, forgive them.
And seek God's forgiveness for them.
And here's the interesting one, man.
Like when people screw up, this is the
last thing I would do.
And consult them.
Like what do you Like can you imagine
if you're one of those people that blew
it?
And then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is commanding
the prophet to consult you?
Like
there is an emotional value in everything that's
happening in this verse.
So the verse says
you
were lenient to them
because of God's mercy.
And if you were stern and harsh hearted,
they would have fled from you. How many
times, maybe in the name of religion like,
forget harsh heartedness, we're just harsh in our
speech.
There's a time for that. It's rare, but
there's a time for that too.
Or we're harsh in our actions. Here saying,
like, internally if you would have been hard,
they would have abandoned you.
Faafu Anhum,
Afa means I have the right to be
angry, but I pardon you.
And seek Allah's forgiveness for them.
And consult them. Make shura.
And and there's really
an interesting
point about
the prophet being commanded to be empathetic and
emotionally in tune. But then even how the
verse itself builds a sense of confidence in
people that just got defeated.
Yes, ma'am?
So I've noticed that
Quran translations,
a lot of times, don't relay that emotional
factor to it. And those things just sometimes
some things like this when someone just when
you're supposed to hear, and you can see,
like
in in the in the English translation where
it just says, forgive them and then consult
them. Like, you you don't see that emotional
Yeah. Layer to it. So how can we,
when we're reading
through an English translation, start to pick up
on those emotional cues throughout the class?
I think they should be Honestly, I think
there should be like a translation like any
like that kind of like color codes this
stuff. I don't know how it would happen.
It's like, you should feel sad here. You
You should feel happy here. You know what
I'm saying? Like, you know how to Yeah.
Like because like it's really cool. Right? Or
perhaps there's I'm sure we have some brilliant
linguists who would be able to like Yousef
Ali, man. I know people don't like his
translation because of the style of language, but
like he pulls off the emotional piece.
So like when he says, he's like, our
lord, please.
Like he caught that.
Right?
The second thing is, like, reading the sira.
So knowing the context of when all it
happens, so then that helps. And then, like,
reading tafsir in English.
But again, like,
yeah. There there's things there, and that's why
tafsir is sometimes best learned in person.
Because there's there's
Like Arabic has a a rhetoric, a a
rhetorical style.
So like
like
like without Allah's rahma, you wouldn't have been
merciful.
Like, that's what's there, you know. And also,
I think sometimes, and this is where I've
gotten in trouble, there's I think, 11 reasons
to avoid me. This may be the 12th.
And this is serious, but I think sometimes
we have to translate things in like colloquial
language.
Like people relate to that better. But
because of
a post colonial experience, the early translations of
the Quran were almost like whitewashed.
They're very, like,
Victorian.
God and God bless them. Like God bless
those people. That's doesn't mean what they did
is bad.
But, like,
there's sometimes the language is a problem even.
So I think there needs to be, like,
tough seers. And also we need people to
write tough seer for us in English.
Right? That it talks about like our life
and how that Quran
is contextualized to those experiences, and what that
means. Right? And how we apply that, and
how we think about it,
is also really important. Sorry. Abdul Rahim had
his hand up, like, a long time ago,
man. No. It's okay. I'll pass it. Fadullahqih.
No. I'm just saying there's a book called
the quran.
I'm not sure if anyone here is familiar
with it.
It's a thematic translation of the Quran.
We're one of the best English translations that
I'm afraid of the Quran. And it really
captures a lot of the emotion
and a lot of,
language
that we can relate to. Yeah. Doctor Mustafa
and I went to the same university,
and he had me, like, kinda review that.
That's a really good translation. It's called the
the
Clear Quran. It's even in paperback.
I just wish I had the Arabic. That's
it's all English. But there's a Arabic version
too, like with the Arabic English. But the
paperback one is, like, for your pocket. That's
nice.
The clear Quran. Yeah. You can read it
online for free too to make sure, like,
you feel in it. You know? Yes, sir?
When you say read the sira,
The sira,
there's a really really it's huge, but it's
a good read, man,
By doctor
Ado Salahi.
Yeah. I think it's called Muhammad Man and
Messenger.
That's a really, really nice like, it's nice,
man.
It's beautiful. So let let's let's
so I, let's, like, just unpack this verse.
We're talking about one of the obligations is
to, like, be emotionally connected and to be
caring and, like,
there's times to be angry also. Right? There's
times to be,
invested. So, in this verse where it says
because of Allah's mercy you were lenient with
them. And if you were stern or heart
stern meaning harsh hearted, they would have fled
from you.
The prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, was reminded
that his mercy is an extension of Allah's
mercy.
That without it, he would not be kind
and lenient, and that if he was harsh
hearted, he would lose his followers. And also
within that, there's this meaning that being merciful
is a blessing and a favor from Allah.
Like, you couldn't have done it without God.
And in the face of anger, he should
pardon
his companions and seek God's forgiveness for them
and consult them.
Now here's a question that I want you
guys to think about.
And there's something underneath
all of this that's really, like, really touched
me actually.
Why would Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala command the
prophet to talk to people if the prophet
is perfect?
And not only did he talk to him,
those people just lost.
Like they didn't just perform well.
And it's like the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam,
he receives revelation.
He
doesn't make mistakes
in his religious,
you know, position as a prophet as we
talked about last year.
But like, washerah we're at home as a
order.
Means, like, you must consult them. Fil Amr
in affairs.
Why?
Like, why would the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam
even need to consult them?
He's beyond the prophet peace out.
Anyone?
So I just like to get other people
so I'm not trying to diss you. See,
if no one else does and because then
what happens is, where's that be you're okay.
They start with you'll be the only one
that answers all the questions, man.
But it's good though.
Anyone?
Alright. Please.
The prophet is
in. So he's building their character. He's,
also, like,
this is, like, I've like, if you anyone
reads business books, some of the stuff like
that. Advice that's or the stuff that's we
find the religion that applies to business where
successful business leaders,
you're you will treat the people around them
in similar ways when they make mistakes, when
they
are in error. That's beautiful, man. That's nice.
So Morabi is someone who, like, is from
the word rub who actually builds people. Right?
The word rub means to build.
Nice. So he's like,
you know,
listening to them is a way of teaching
them.
That's one of the interpretations of the verse
actually.
It says
It's very beautiful. It says to show them,
like, even though you just screwed up, like,
I'm still listening to you, and I still
I still seek your help.
Like even if you didn't need them, like
you're modeling for them.
Right? The idea of
being like
an empathetic,
caring leader.
And you're listening to them. Right?
And that's
why one of the commentators said, Razi said,
like, this is a way to make them
love the deen.
Like, you've brought them they've appropriated the experience.
Somebody I was traveling last week with Hussam.
Everybody doesn't know Hussam, Probably follow him on
Instagram.
He's like really popular on Instagram. I had
no idea.
But he was like you know what my
favorite part of the halakah is? That's what
he's like, when we all talk to each
other and listen to each other.
Because I feel like I feel I feel
valued.
I feel engaged.
You know? So it's important.
Yes, sir.
You had your hand up?
Good. Nice.
Good.
Anyone else? Like, why why would God command
a prophet, like, talk to these people they
just lost?
So one is to model for them leadership.
That's a good point. Anyone else?
Yes, ma'am.
Yeah.
Yeah. Engagement and listening to people and bringing
people in to the process.
So let me just give three reasons. I'm
sorry. It's it's running late. I apologize too.
Forgive me, brothers and sisters. We're gonna say
something. So there's actually 3 really cool
discussions about this command amongst the early
early scholars. Number 1 is
like
turning back to them, talking to them, and
engaging them, and also not just speaking to
them, but bringing them in
is good for their hearts.
Like, it's good for their
It's good for their emotional states, man.
So they won't, like, allow this loss to
turn into what? Like
complete failure, man. A complete
collapse.
The second is Masha'Allah brother, I'm sorry your
name? Yed. Yed. Yed. Masha'Allah.
He said,
So he said, you know, here,
Abu Ishaq, he's a early early one of
the early early students of the Sahaba said,
like, teach them how to listen and how
to engage
and how
to bring people in
into a situation.
And the third one is really profound, man.
And that is that,
al Razi says that
when you talk with them,
you learn more about them.
Like, when you engage them, you're gonna hear
them.
When you hear them, you can serve them
better.
It's really really actually a very beautiful analysis.
Right?
Like, by listening to their struggles, like imagine
like that analysis. So, why did you leave
the mount?
You know, that guy's like, well, I saw
a camel. So you know, that guy likes
camels. You know, so you like a river.
You'll know him. So, that you'll be able
to serve him perhaps better and help him.
Maybe someone says well, and that's why you'll
notice something in the life of the prophet.
When people, alayhi salaam, when people make mistakes,
he always asks them what?
He doesn't punish them.
He doesn't just jump to punish. He says
what?
Like, why?
So for example, when Sayyidina Amar he captured
this man who was going to Mecca with
secrets that he was going to sell to
the Quraysh, and he brought him in front
of the prophet said,
like, let me cut off his head. And
the prophet said, no no no.
He's a believer. He's a believer.
And then the prophet said, why'd you do
it? He said, I have family in Mecca,
and they were threatening my family.
So the prophet
he makes excuses because he under It doesn't
mean people are We don't give everyone excuses.
Right? But I'm saying,
he has conversations with people before he comes
to conclusions.
He tries to understand why they did what
they did.
So
one of the early early,
scholars said that
is
like the prophet will learn about them.
And then he'll be more caring and more
invested in them.
It's very, like, very beautiful. If you think
about like in in
community organizing the idea of 1 on ones,
where, like, we sit, we talk, we introduce
ourselves, talk about our lives, who we are,
and we know each other.
We're gonna do that one night here Insha
Allah.
And that's why the Sahaba, they said something
like really really beautiful.
They said, They said, like I put this
on my my Facebook wall today.
They said Allah has been extremely gracious to
us in every way.
We were people who were polytheists.
And
if
like if the prophet brought the religion all
at once,
And the Quran, everything in the Quran like
at one go. It wasn't like over time
it was just like
you know, and then that's it. Like,
The whole Quran came on us, and all
the religion came on us at one
time,
then that responsibility
would have,
like,
we would not have been able to handle
it.
It would have stretched our capacity.
Islam, and we would not have accepted Islam.
He then they said,
Like, he called us to things like step
by step.
Like I worry sometimes when I see like
people who came back to Islam or even
people who've accepted Islam, and like, and people
who like giving them a 1000000 things to
do, man.
Like step by step step by step.
So he said,
the sahaba said he called us to like
a step by step process.
And when we accepted
that for example one command
And then after we accepted it we grew
to learn the sweetness of faith
to that that that that order.
And then we accepted.
And
They said like and we
we accepted
things step by step until we understood the
wisdom. And and we understood the wisdom we
tasted the sweetness.
And then we tasted the sweetness of that
thing we moved on to something else until
the religion was completed.
Until the Sharia was completed.
But
the key to that is that the prophet
he knew them.
He was invested in them.
And of course, Allah's alim and hakim. And
there's this beautiful hadith of the prophet An
Nas al Ma'aden.
You know that people are metal. Like people
are like metal.
People are like metals.
Like gold and silver.
There's actually 2 meanings to this. 1 of
course is the obvious meaning, but the other
meaning is
meaning people gonna die.
The word means gold but means
to leave.
Means silver but
means what?
Like
to leave you.
It's in the verse, we just read it.
Right? They would abandon you. So people like
gold and silver meaning, you can love people
but one day they're gonna leave you.
But the obvious meaning is that people like
silver,
and there's some and metals, and metals are
number 1 malleable, so it should be soft
with people.
You don't wanna shape them too hard.
Metals require more than just a visual test.
I did research today on metals. Very interesting.
What do you think the best way to
know the quality of a metal is?
No.
Dang, man. It's like a litany of answers,
like, it's like a Busta Rhymes song up
in here.
No
is to feel it.
The second is to use a magnet.
There's also, the 3rd best way is a
fracture test. That when a metal is broken,
it shows its best quality.
It's kind of like people.
Sometimes
when we go through it together that tells
us a lot about ourselves. Right?
And then there's the spark test.
Let's quickly talk about a few of the
narrations that we'll explain over the next week
or so,
insha'Allah, about the signs of the auliya, and
then we'll stop insha'Allah.
The 3rd, after having
established the obligations and then being emotionally invested.
Remember we talked about the hadith when the
like Allah has special
friends.
Like, who are they? What do they do?
People who love.
Sallallahu alaihi wasallam, what I tell the prophet
said to the guy, don't become angry.
What else? Don't become angry, meaning don't act
in anger,
like crazy anger.
The third is to live a life of
remembrance.
One of my teachers used to say, Sheikh
Abdulrahman,
either you're remembering God or you remember something
else. I was like, man, that's tough, man.
Only you can do that.
But there is this beautiful narration that
Allah Meaning
that
indeed
my close friends from amongst my servants and
those who I love from creation are those
who are remembered because of my remembrance. Meaning,
when people see them they remember
Allah.
And Allah says in this hadith, quote from
the prophet, and I am remembered when people
talk about
them as well. Like they're known for being
people who remember Allah.
They make zikr.
Another narration of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam,
he was asked, man auliaullah,
like who are those people close to Allah,
the friends of Allah.
It's people that when people see them, they
remember Allah.
They remind people of Allah
in their actions, and then because they're engaged
in remembering,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And, of course, the best thing to say
as far as is
this beautiful statement of the prophet.
Like the best thing to say out of
all the dhikrs if people don't have time
to memorize a lot of stuff or read
a lot of Quran,
say
The next thing, and we'll stop here, is
because added is when as we go through
the qualities of these people,
for example, there's a quality about how they
deal with trauma. It's not perfect, but they
deal with it.
There's also what are called the
the Muamalat
of
of these people. Like, how do they act?
As far as a spiritual strategy,
what are steps that they engage in in
their lives
to achieve these things? And we talked about
these being constant, not like once.
They're called the manazil.
The manazil of the tzadik, the stations of
the seeker.
Like what are little like
things I should be aware of that help
me think about
my
relationship with Allah?
The first one that we already talked about
was being woke.
Where he said, subhanallah, our tradition
1300 years ago,
sorry, 1,100
years ago,
one of the great scholars he wrote it
this book called, Manazal
Asayirim.
The stations of the travelers, like we're all
traveling back to death, to God.
And one of the stations, the first station
he mentioned that a person has to stop
at is being woke.
Said everybody is asleep.
Everyone's asleep or dead until they wake up.
Meaning like they wake up spiritually.
The second, and then we're gonna stop
after being awakened. And remember we talked about
like tests, trials, success being means of guidance
and how that's a manifestation of God's love
in our life? The idea of interventions.
This is on on the YouTube, it's on
the on the series of lectures. It's up
there. It's posted.
We talked about like the power of divine
intervention.
Whether it's through loss or gain,
it doesn't have to be even a binary,
but, like, dynamic
engagement and interference
can sometimes turn us back to Allah,
and wake us up.
The second, and this is where we'll stop,
is being a shepherd.
All the prophets we believe were like shepherds
in one way or another.
Shepherding a riaia.
So the second
station after Al Yaqaba,
being woke,
is then guarding something.
Taking care of something.
And
I'm just gonna mention it, and then we'll
build on it next week Insha'Allah.
The sheikh, he says, Allah says,
In the end of Shaul Hadid,
Allah talks about the people who came after
Satan Satan Isa, Satan Jesus.
Sounds strange. And they, like
And they changed the religion that he he
left them.
They didn't shepherd it.
As they should have.
So the sheikh, he says that
is to, like, really really look after and
protect something.
And here's where we'll mention it. It's really
cool, and I want you to think about
this as you go through the week. Like,
what do you shepherd, man? What do I
shepherd?
What is the most constant website I go
to? Celtics.com.
That tells me a lot about like,
what I shepherd.
You know? Hypothetically,
of course. But like,
what is the first thing I look at
on my phone? That tells you what you're
shepherding.
And that's not always bad. That could that
could be good there. Right?
But if it's stuff that's like trivial or
like,
not important, then that's where I need to
start Marie Kondoing my iman.
So the first he says, is
that you shepherd your worship.
You shepherd your
good.
Shepherding, we'll talk about why that's a powerful
metaphor, so it's like a flock that I'm
guiding.
There's a lot of investment in guiding a
flock, man. So my actions are like those
little innocent lambs
that I have to guide through like all
the on the way to middle earth.
That's riayah.
So like, if I if if I'm gonna
do riayah tul fajr, I'm not gonna stay
up till like 3 binge watching, you know,
true detective or something.
I gotta wake up, man. So that's riayatul
fajr.
The second, and that also includes my relationships
with people.
The second he said
is
is I shepherd my emotional states.
We kind of did that last week. Right?
I look after
my contentment. What makes me angry?
What are those triggers? So the first
right is my faith and my practice.
I shepherd it.
In my relationships like my family, for example.
The third second,
is I'm shepherding my emotions.
Who do I hate and why? Who do
I love and why?
What are my attachments?
What brings
me value?
And the last, oh man,
is to shepherd our time.
How how do I I look after my
time?
So
we'll start next week on that,
and then we'll move on to other traditions
about
the friends of Allah.
So the friends of Allah is like hadith,
are mentioning these qualities that all of us
can do, like very simple.
We mentioned last year, Imam Ibn Josi,
he mentioned like all these kind of things
should always be balanced. Like no one should
go to one extreme or the other.
Right?
Like we should give charity but not to
the point where I'm coming to you. Can
you give me charity now?
Like it's in Quran, like that's an extreme.
Like,
but the other is like, I don't give
anything. I'm a miser, so in the middle
it's like responsible giving.
So everything here is in that pattern of
moderation.
And moderation
as lived by the prophet, or
and also supported by the custom of where
you are.
So again, the areas of Shep So we
read these hadith, and then we talk about
the actual
stations
intellectually that we should be like working on
to strategize how we live. So the first
was awakenings
in divine intervention.
That helps us understand trauma, pain, to a
certain degree,
success.
And the second is shepherding.
In order for me to shepherd something, I
have to what?
I have to value it.
So there's a lot in that word that
we'll unpack. And in the sheikh, and Ibraham
wrote about this brilliantly as well.
Ibn Khayyim actually explained this book in in
3 volumes.
But the first is I shepherd my faith,
my practice, and
my relationships.
The second
my inner emotional psychological
states.
It's okay to struggle with this, man. Why
would you call it shepherding? Because it may
be very well, a struggle, like, we talked
about this before. No one's expected to be
perfect.
Right?
And then the last one is riyatul
alqat.
Like, how do I look after my time?
What's in what's really important?
What takes away my time for me?
We'll stop here.
It's nice to see everybody. Are there any
du'a requests that we have? I know a
lot of students ask us to pray for
them, especially we have students
We actually have a sister that was the
RN.
Not RN, but
the the dorm the dorm person.
She was there
that
night. So we pray for her sister. Allah,
make it easy for her.
And then we have a number of students
who lived actually in the dorm where the
young person,
committed suicide.
So we ask a lot to help all
those people that were there. You know? His
family as well.
Yes, sir. There's an Egyptian brother,
from Canada
who was wrongfully detained in Egypt.
He is in prison right now.
Spalla.
No accusation. Nothing.
And,
his family's checking up on him. He was
kidnapped for 3 days by the government,
and he's, he's a bit Canadian business engineer,
and he's sleeping on the concrete board in
the Egypt in Egypt winter right now.
So we just make an offer and he
can come back to the Philippines.
Yeah. So,
I mean, there's a lot of Egyptians that
I know also.
Brothers mentioned
brother who's from Canada, who's been detained
in Egypt.
I ask Allah to make it easy for
him. We know, like, the daughter of Shep
Khaledawi and her husband
are detained, like, they're older people, and they're
almost in their sixties.
I had an American brother when I was
in Ezehar that was captured,
but I'm an adoa.
And he they didn't believe he was American
because he's from Afghanistan.
So you're really crazy. So they have this
thing thing called Ithbato Gencia. I don't know
if anyone knows about it. They have to
like prove where you're from. He's like, but
you're not America, you're Egypt. It's like, well,
I have to prove I'm American in Egypt.
But then they began to ask him about
all the Islamic workers in America. It was
really weird.
And then he said, I heard people being
electrocuted.
It's like, I could smell human flesh.
So it's like, we're our tax dollars
Right?
People attacking Ilhan, what Ilhan is speaking about
is like the influence of countries, foreign countries
in general in our system. This example, man,
we give so much money to Egypt.
They ain't giving us to the Egyptians.
I lived in Egypt for 7 years.
You know, there was no, there was no
trickle down economics.
No Reagan or Margaret Thatcher rocking the US
dollars, man, down to Egyptian society.
Right?
So those are the things we need to
think about as we move forward politically
to be much more strategic, and may Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala help the Egyptians, man. I
miss
him.
SubhanAllah.
Any
other
dua
requests
insha'Allah
before
we?
So
may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala answered the duas
of anyone that was too intimidated
to say what their du'a request was.
If you're like, Amin.
No no one say Amin. Right? And may
Allah, Insha Allah,
help everyone to return home safely and feel
a sense of value,
try to meet someone you've never met before
maybe on the way out. Gonna pray. I
see Muhammad is here, so he's gonna lead
us,
inshallah and with his, I don't know what
voice he's gonna do tonight,
but he does, like, all the famous