Sikander Hashmi – Who Are Your Friends KMA Friday Message

Sikander Hashmi
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the impact of socialization, particularly online, on reducing the risk of children being misled and socializing. They emphasize the importance of finding friends in person and online to have a positive and risky experience, and warn of the potential risks of online friendships. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of avoiding negative environments and protecting privacy, and advises parents to do an audit of their friends and stay away from trouble. They stress the importance of finding good companies and being proactive in helping children grow up.
AI: Transcript ©
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Respected elders,

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dear brothers and sisters,

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my young friends,

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We begin by praising Allah

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the lord of the universe,

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our creator, our nourisher, our protector.

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And we begin by sending peace and salutations

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upon his beloved messenger,

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Mohammed,

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the son of Abdullah,

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the final messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhi, wa'ala

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alayhi, salam.

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I have a question for you today, and

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that is

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how many people have been missing their friends?

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How many people have been missing their friends?

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It appears

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that

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one of the reasons

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that, inshallah, many of my young friends

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have been,

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wanting to go back to school in person

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and not online

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is so that they are able to see

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their friends again. Of course, they wanna study

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as well, and I know there are those

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who are have been missing,

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the opportunity to study in person with their

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teachers.

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But I think a major part of it

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is actually being able to,

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see friends again, in person.

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Because one of the things that many children

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and even adults have been missing

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is socialization.

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And with the easing of restrictions,

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we know that, you know, social activity

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has gradually increased

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over the last 6 months, but overall it

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it's not at pre pandemic levels.

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So, you know, some people depending on the

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family and their situation and their views, you

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know, some people may still be quite,

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careful,

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about, you know, having people inside their home

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or not part of their family or their

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household.

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Others, maybe not so much. Perhaps you have

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been, you know, meeting outside,

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especially during the summer in parks, or in

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backyards,

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you know, in outdoor places.

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But there's no doubt that the level of

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socialization

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we had,

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before,

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the pandemic started,

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overall, it's not at the same level because

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of the existing,

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restrictions.

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Now Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created us

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human beings

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as social beings.

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Right? We need socialization. We are social beings.

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That's why, you know, we are part of

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families,

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and we crave for the most part, most

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people,

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you know, crave friends or or,

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socialization

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to have someone to talk to, to spend

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time with,

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you know, to meet,

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different people and to discuss different things and

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to play together and spend time together, do

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activities together.

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So, generally, Allah has created us as social

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beings, and most people need to have some

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friends or at least some people to, socialize

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with.

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Now

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regardless

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of whether, you know, we are, truly

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friends in person because, of course, we know

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there are different types of friends. There are

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people who are, you know, your true friends.

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You have people who claim to be your

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friends, but then they're not really your friends

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when you really need them.

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There are people who become friends online.

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Perhaps you've never even met them, and in

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some instances,

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you know, if those friendships are genuine,

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it's great when you actually get to meet

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in person. You know, if that person is

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a good person,

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and, you know, there's no danger to you

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and you've gotten to know them,

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it can be a great thing. However, it

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can also be very risky as well because

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many times

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people portray themselves as something else online

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and in reality, there it's, it's a completely

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different reality to the point where, you know,

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there's a great risk for children,

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online because sometimes there are people who pretend

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to be children their age, who pretend to

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have the same or similar interests,

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but in reality, it is someone very different

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behind the screen. It might be, you know,

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an adult,

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an elder. It could be someone who's, you

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know, of a different gender in a different

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place. So people online may be completely misrepresenting

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who they actually are. So this also presents

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a great risk and a great danger, especially

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to young people. But the point is that

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regardless of whether we are truly friends in

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person,

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you know, or you say it's your BFF,

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BFL,

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or your besties,

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or your friends online,

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their point is that friends

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can have tremendous influence upon you.

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Your friends

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can have a tremendous

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and often will have a tremendous

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influence upon you. If a person says

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that they grew up

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without any influence

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from anyone. Now that likely won't be accurate.

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If a person says no, I grew up

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and nobody influenced me,

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I didn't socialize with anyone. Yeah. I had

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some friends, but I didn't really care about

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them. You know, for for most people, that

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will be an inaccurate statement. But, of course,

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you know, our parents,

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our siblings have an influence upon us.

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But as we grow up, we're not with

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our parents and our siblings all the time.

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Right? Yes. Maybe during the pandemic, you have

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to have stayed with your parents and your

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siblings, you know, with your family. But the

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reality is is that when we're growing up

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and through the course of life, we don't

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spend our entire lives with our parents and

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with our siblings. We interact with other people

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as well. And more often than not, a

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good portion of our life is spent with

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our friends.

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And even if the time that we spend

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with them isn't that much, because maybe, you

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know, you're someone who doesn't spend too too

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much time with your friends. I know some

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people spend a lot of time with their

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friends. But maybe you're someone who doesn't really

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spend that much time, just know that there

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is much to gain and to lose with

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our friends. Right? So even if the time

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is is not that much,

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the influence of that relationship, of that friendship

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can be tremendous. The prophet

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has told us that

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The example, right, the parable of a good

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friend and a bad friend. So here the

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prophet, the prophet, the son of a sudden,

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just said, you know, there's gonna be different

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types of friends. There's gonna be good friends,

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or or. Right? There will be bad friendships.

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Right? So there will be these types of

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people, you know, these types of friendships that

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people end up having. The prophet gave the

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example of the carrier of musk. Right? So

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nice perfume

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and a blacksmith. Blacksmith is a person who

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works with iron. Right? Metal makes things, you

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know, and by burning them,

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by making them hot. So works with fire

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and, you know, and and things that that,

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you know, they burn, get black, there's smoke,

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there's fire. So the prophet

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said

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that the carrier of musth

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will give you some

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or

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you will buy some

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or you will notice a good smell. Okay?

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So if you the example of your friend

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is like the carrier of musk, like someone

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who carries perfume, deals with perfume.

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So what will happen? That they will give

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you some

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or perhaps if they're not that close, they

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won't give you, but you'll buy some from

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them. Or at the very least, you will

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notice a good smell. So they don't give

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you any they don't you don't buy any

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from them, but you you are in a

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good environment. It will smell nice.

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Right? It will be a good,

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person to be around.

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But as for the blacksmith,

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right, because he's working with

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fire and smoke

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in that type of environment,

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you will burn your clothes or you will

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notice a bad smell. So either it will

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have an impact on you, meaning you will

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get burned, your clothes will get burned, or

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at the very least you will notice a

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bad smell. Right? So the environment that you're

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gonna be in is going to be

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not so great. It's not going to be

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very pleasant.

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Now, of course, this is just to give

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an example. You know, it's nothing against blacksmiths

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and, you know, blacksmiths can be very honorable

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and good people.

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They can give you gifts as well. You

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know, this summer, I had the opportunity to

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visit, Upper Canada Village.

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And, while at Upper Upper Canada Village, there

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was actually a blacksmith,

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who was working there, as part of the

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village,

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as part of the experience. And he's a

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very friendly gentleman.

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You know, I tried to say salaam. He

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was not Muslim or Arab, but, you know,

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he said salaam and tried

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to, welcome us and, and even made a

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little, you know, a little hook,

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as a little gift and and, gave it

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to us as well. So nothing against blacksmiths,

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and they can give you gifts as well.

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But, yes, the environment

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that blacksmith is working in, right, and this

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is, of course, just an example, is one

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of

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smoke and heat and fire and and and

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soup, you know, which is, you know, can

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get dirty and and can cause damage.

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So the point is that if you keep

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around people who are into burning right? What

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does burning signify? Causing damage,

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right, and destruction

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to people,

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to property,

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to the dignity of people,

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right, who are into,

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you know, disregard of the guidance also, and

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rules and regulations,

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we will end up hurting you too.

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Right? So this is an example. Right? To

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say that if you're around such people,

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if you have company, if you have friends

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that are into these types of things, right,

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into causing destruction,

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who have disregard, who will cause,

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you know, the who who who give up

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negativity or work in negative influence in society,

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in the community, in the world,

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then you too will end up getting hurt.

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Right? Either you will get hurt or if

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they smell bad, meaning in terms of their

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character. Right? It is bad. Your attitudes are

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bad. They are negative. They are toxic. Then

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you too will get impact. Right? So the

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whole point here is that the type of

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environment we put ourselves in, the type of

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people we put ourselves around, they will have

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an impact on us. Right? And if they

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are negative, if the environment is negative, if

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it's toxic,

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it's smelly, then that will have an impact

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on us as well. Right? And, of course,

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if the environment is positive,

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then the opposite impact will be there as

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well. And this happens all the time. We

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find, you know, bad friends,

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you know, who are into doing bad things

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for others and eventually, at some point, that

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same happens to them. Right? You can find

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numerous examples. Maybe even some think of some

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in your own life as well of people

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you dealt with or people that you knew,

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that, you know, they were into doing things

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which were bad to others.

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Right? They have bad character. They were doing

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things they were into doing things which were

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negative, which were wrong to others, but eventually,

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they turned on themselves. Eventually, it actually happened

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to them as well. Protect

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us all.

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At the time of the prophet

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there

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was a man

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by the name of

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Uqhba ibn Abi Moiit.

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And he was one of the chieftains, one

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of the chiefs of the mashriqin of the

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polytheists in Makkah.

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And it was customary with him

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that whenever he would return

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after an expedition,

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used to invite

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the noble the nobility of the city to

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dinner. Right? So the noble the widows of

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the of the of the city would invite

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him to dinner. And he would also use

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to call upon the prophet

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frequently as well. When he presented food to

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the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,

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he said to him that I cannot eat

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your food until

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you proclaim that Allah is 1 and that

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no one can be associated with him in

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worship and that I am his Rasool. Right?

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Essentially, until you declare the shahada.

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So Ubba

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recited

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the shahada,

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and then the prophet

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ate the dinner according to his promise. Right?

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So he promised them that if, you know,

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I'm not gonna eat until before the shahada,

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You know? And so that was a condition

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that the prophet said.

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And, it is said that, you know, Oba

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didn't like, you know, to have any animosity

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and negativity. So, you know, you wanted the

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prophet to take part in his dinner.

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So he decided the shahad that he declared

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the shahad.

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Now

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his friend,

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Ubayb al Khalaf, was one of the sponsors

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enemies of Islam and of the prophet sallallahu

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alaihi wa sallam.

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And he got word of this that his

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friend, Uqba,

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had actually accepted Islam or had at least,

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you know, recited the shahada.

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So he got word of this and he

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was enraged. He could not believe it. Now

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how come my friend because remember, he was

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one of those not just enemies of Islam

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and of the prophet,

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So he couldn't believe it that his friend,

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his close friend, Uqba, had actually done this,

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had actually

00:12:30 --> 00:12:31

said that, you know, he accepted,

00:12:32 --> 00:12:33

Allah

00:12:34 --> 00:12:35

alone and that

00:12:35 --> 00:12:36

that Mohammed

00:12:37 --> 00:12:39

was his messengers. He couldn't believe that.

00:12:40 --> 00:12:41

So he came,

00:12:41 --> 00:12:44

obey him running to Uqba

00:12:44 --> 00:12:46

saying that have you turned away from the

00:12:46 --> 00:12:48

religion of your forefathers, Uqba?

00:12:49 --> 00:12:50

Have you actually done this? Have you turned

00:12:50 --> 00:12:51

away?

00:12:52 --> 00:12:54

So Uqba tried to defend himself by explaining

00:12:54 --> 00:12:56

that, you know, Hamad salalahu alaihi wa sallam

00:12:56 --> 00:12:58

was an eminent person of the Quraysh.

00:12:58 --> 00:13:00

Now if he had returned without having his

00:13:00 --> 00:13:01

meal at his place, he would have been

00:13:01 --> 00:13:03

very degrading for Uqba. He would have, you

00:13:03 --> 00:13:04

know, he would have felt bad, he would

00:13:04 --> 00:13:05

have looked bad.

00:13:06 --> 00:13:08

So, therefore, in order to please the prophet

00:13:09 --> 00:13:10

he had just repeated

00:13:11 --> 00:13:13

that the sentence meaning the words of the

00:13:13 --> 00:13:13

shahad.

00:13:14 --> 00:13:16

Now Ubayy ibn Khala did not accept this

00:13:16 --> 00:13:17

explanation,

00:13:18 --> 00:13:20

and he asked Ubayy ibn Khalaq to do

00:13:20 --> 00:13:21

something,

00:13:22 --> 00:13:25

terrible, especially to anyone, but especially to the

00:13:25 --> 00:13:26

prophet of Allah, who

00:13:27 --> 00:13:27

chose to go

00:13:28 --> 00:13:30

and to spit on the holy face of

00:13:30 --> 00:13:30

the prophet,

00:13:31 --> 00:13:33

if he was truly ashamed about what he

00:13:33 --> 00:13:35

had done. Okay. So you can see,

00:13:36 --> 00:13:38

that, of course, here the consequences

00:13:38 --> 00:13:40

and the action itself is is terrible, very

00:13:40 --> 00:13:41

serious.

00:13:41 --> 00:13:43

But you can see how peer pressure works.

00:13:43 --> 00:13:45

Right? Friend is upset. Now how could you

00:13:45 --> 00:13:47

do this? Challenges a person, you know, you

00:13:47 --> 00:13:49

know that people exchange dares as well and

00:13:49 --> 00:13:52

take them very, very seriously. So it's something

00:13:52 --> 00:13:53

along those lines where he says, okay. If

00:13:53 --> 00:13:54

you really didn't really mean it, if you

00:13:54 --> 00:13:56

really felt feel bad about what you did

00:13:57 --> 00:13:58

because I'm so upset and this this was

00:13:58 --> 00:14:00

wrong what you did, therefore, you go and

00:14:00 --> 00:14:02

you do this terrible act.

00:14:02 --> 00:14:03

Now,

00:14:04 --> 00:14:06

Upa didn't want to lose his friend in

00:14:06 --> 00:14:07

Ubay.

00:14:08 --> 00:14:10

So he stood at the corner where the

00:14:10 --> 00:14:13

prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam was going to pass

00:14:13 --> 00:14:15

by, and it is said that he did

00:14:15 --> 00:14:18

what Ubayhi had wanted him to do. Allah

00:14:18 --> 00:14:20

disgraced him in this world,

00:14:21 --> 00:14:22

and, of course, he will be disgraced in

00:14:22 --> 00:14:24

the hereafter as well. But after he had

00:14:24 --> 00:14:26

done this evil action,

00:14:27 --> 00:14:28

the commentators of the Quran say that the

00:14:28 --> 00:14:30

prophecy will say that Allah

00:14:31 --> 00:14:31

revealed

00:14:32 --> 00:14:33

these verses.

00:14:41 --> 00:14:43

Talks about that day that the day

00:14:44 --> 00:14:46

that the wrongdoer will bite at his hand,

00:14:46 --> 00:14:48

will bite at his hand out of regret,

00:14:48 --> 00:14:49

and he will say

00:14:49 --> 00:14:52

that, oh, or that I had taken a

00:14:52 --> 00:14:54

straight path with the messenger.

00:14:54 --> 00:14:57

At that point, he's gonna regret that he

00:14:57 --> 00:15:00

had actually done this action. And even though

00:15:00 --> 00:15:01

he had expressed,

00:15:01 --> 00:15:02

you know, or testified

00:15:03 --> 00:15:05

to Islam, at least by time, you know,

00:15:05 --> 00:15:06

he had come this close,

00:15:06 --> 00:15:09

but yet it was the friend who had

00:15:09 --> 00:15:11

then let him astray from that or the

00:15:11 --> 00:15:13

the friend who had, you know, acted as

00:15:14 --> 00:15:14

a a,

00:15:15 --> 00:15:18

a source of, demotivation or a source of

00:15:18 --> 00:15:21

turning away from what he had already

00:15:21 --> 00:15:22

declared.

00:15:22 --> 00:15:23

Yeah.

00:15:26 --> 00:15:28

Woe be to me. Woe is me. What

00:15:28 --> 00:15:30

that I had never taken

00:15:31 --> 00:15:32

such a person, such a one for a

00:15:32 --> 00:15:34

friend. Right? So on that day, on the

00:15:34 --> 00:15:35

day of judgment,

00:15:36 --> 00:15:37

right, he will be regretting

00:15:38 --> 00:15:40

the fact that he had this friendship with

00:15:40 --> 00:15:41

this person.

00:15:58 --> 00:16:00

He led me astray from the message of

00:16:00 --> 00:16:02

Allah after it had come to me. Indeed,

00:16:02 --> 00:16:05

Allah said, indeed, Shaitan is but a disgrace

00:16:05 --> 00:16:05

or betrayer

00:16:06 --> 00:16:08

to man, to the human being. Right? To

00:16:08 --> 00:16:09

the insan.

00:16:09 --> 00:16:11

So the message have Allah had come to

00:16:11 --> 00:16:13

him. He had declared it with his tongue.

00:16:14 --> 00:16:16

Yet because of his this this wretched friend

00:16:16 --> 00:16:18

of his or this evil friend of his

00:16:18 --> 00:16:20

because of this evil friendship,

00:16:20 --> 00:16:22

he you know, that became a means for

00:16:22 --> 00:16:25

him to turn away from that which he

00:16:25 --> 00:16:27

had come to him, meaning the message of

00:16:27 --> 00:16:27

Allah

00:16:28 --> 00:16:30

which he had even declared with his tongue,

00:16:30 --> 00:16:33

and he turned back on that simply because

00:16:33 --> 00:16:35

of peer pressure, simply because of this

00:16:36 --> 00:16:38

friend that he had. The scholars of Quran

00:16:38 --> 00:16:40

who relate this story, they say that these

00:16:40 --> 00:16:42

verses are not limited to.

00:16:43 --> 00:16:45

It's not just limited to. Right? And they're

00:16:45 --> 00:16:47

the the the point of the lessons and

00:16:47 --> 00:16:49

the stories that Allah mentions in the Quran.

00:16:49 --> 00:16:52

Yes. Many times they are they they were

00:16:52 --> 00:16:53

revealed for a specific incident,

00:16:54 --> 00:16:56

but there are lessons there to be learned,

00:16:56 --> 00:16:58

right, for all of time. And here,

00:16:59 --> 00:17:01

right, the scholars say that it could apply

00:17:01 --> 00:17:03

to anyone who's influenced by bad friends.

00:17:04 --> 00:17:06

Anyone who is turned away from the truth,

00:17:06 --> 00:17:07

whose friends

00:17:07 --> 00:17:09

act as a barrier to reaching,

00:17:10 --> 00:17:12

goodness and to reaching the truth. Right? That

00:17:12 --> 00:17:16

person will regret or could be regretting on

00:17:16 --> 00:17:18

the day of judgment that they had taken

00:17:18 --> 00:17:18

such friends.

00:17:19 --> 00:17:21

Right? Because in this world, we fall into

00:17:21 --> 00:17:22

pressure. We fall into

00:17:23 --> 00:17:25

following our friends and, you know, the pressures

00:17:25 --> 00:17:26

that are around us

00:17:26 --> 00:17:29

even for things many times, unfortunately, which are

00:17:29 --> 00:17:31

wrong. Right? And during this moment in this

00:17:31 --> 00:17:33

world, we seem like it's not a big

00:17:33 --> 00:17:35

deal, But perhaps it seems like we're doing

00:17:35 --> 00:17:36

the right thing. But on the day of

00:17:36 --> 00:17:37

judgment,

00:17:37 --> 00:17:39

right, on the day of judgment, a person

00:17:39 --> 00:17:41

who has taken wrong decisions because of their

00:17:41 --> 00:17:43

friends, who has taken wrong who has made

00:17:43 --> 00:17:46

wrong choices and taking wrong turns because of

00:17:46 --> 00:17:48

their friends, they will be regretting that friendship

00:17:48 --> 00:17:50

on the day of judgement. May Allah

00:17:51 --> 00:17:53

protect us all. Now the story of Allah

00:17:53 --> 00:17:54

may seem extreme,

00:17:55 --> 00:17:58

but that's exactly what negative peer pressure is.

00:17:58 --> 00:18:01

Right? Which comes from friends many times because

00:18:01 --> 00:18:03

the person wants to maintain good relations with

00:18:03 --> 00:18:05

their friends. Right? You want to be part

00:18:05 --> 00:18:07

of that social circle. You want to be

00:18:07 --> 00:18:09

in. You want to be accepted. You don't

00:18:09 --> 00:18:11

want to be, you know, made fun of

00:18:11 --> 00:18:13

or to be left out. Right? So that

00:18:13 --> 00:18:16

pressure is immense. That pressure of trying to

00:18:16 --> 00:18:16

maintain

00:18:17 --> 00:18:20

friendships and relationships. And if a close friend,

00:18:20 --> 00:18:22

you know, wants you to do something and

00:18:22 --> 00:18:24

applies a bit of pressure, there's a good

00:18:24 --> 00:18:26

chance that you're gonna end up doing it.

00:18:26 --> 00:18:28

Right? That's just the way friendships work. Right?

00:18:28 --> 00:18:30

If you're really good friends with someone, you're

00:18:30 --> 00:18:32

close to someone, and they put pressure upon

00:18:32 --> 00:18:34

you, right, to do something, and even if

00:18:34 --> 00:18:36

you don't wanna do it, if they put

00:18:36 --> 00:18:37

a lot you know, some pressure, especially if

00:18:37 --> 00:18:39

they put inserting, you know, they start exerting

00:18:39 --> 00:18:41

a lot of pressure, there's a good chance

00:18:41 --> 00:18:43

you're gonna end up doing it. And even

00:18:43 --> 00:18:46

if it's not direct peer pressure,

00:18:46 --> 00:18:48

what your friends are like and what they

00:18:48 --> 00:18:49

do

00:18:49 --> 00:18:51

will rub off on you in some way.

00:18:51 --> 00:18:53

Right? Because it's the environment that you're in.

00:18:53 --> 00:18:55

It's the things that you're exposed to. It's

00:18:55 --> 00:18:57

the type of things that you're hearing and

00:18:57 --> 00:18:59

that you're seeing, the types of things that

00:18:59 --> 00:19:01

they're sharing now, especially on social media. Right?

00:19:01 --> 00:19:03

So those things will have an impact on

00:19:03 --> 00:19:05

you. Right? Whether you like it or not,

00:19:05 --> 00:19:08

your company, your environment will have an impact

00:19:08 --> 00:19:10

on you. Just as if a person is

00:19:10 --> 00:19:12

living in an extremely polluted place,

00:19:12 --> 00:19:14

right, where there is a lot of smog

00:19:14 --> 00:19:15

and a lot of pollution in the air,

00:19:15 --> 00:19:17

right, where the water is dirty and the

00:19:17 --> 00:19:19

air that they're breathing is dirty and the,

00:19:19 --> 00:19:21

you know, the vegetables that are growing, the

00:19:21 --> 00:19:23

fruits that are, growing in the environment are

00:19:23 --> 00:19:24

dirty, are tainted.

00:19:24 --> 00:19:26

Right? That will have an impact on that

00:19:26 --> 00:19:29

person's health. Right? Simply by virtue of them

00:19:29 --> 00:19:32

living and operating in that environment. So similarly,

00:19:32 --> 00:19:34

when we have bad company around us, right,

00:19:34 --> 00:19:36

when we lack positive company around us, then

00:19:36 --> 00:19:38

that too will have an impact on us

00:19:38 --> 00:19:40

even if it's not direct.

00:19:41 --> 00:19:43

So the question is, if your friends, you

00:19:43 --> 00:19:44

know, are going somewhere and they pressure you

00:19:44 --> 00:19:46

to go to go with them,

00:19:47 --> 00:19:48

are you able to say no?

00:19:49 --> 00:19:49

Right?

00:19:50 --> 00:19:52

And even if there's no pressure, are you

00:19:52 --> 00:19:53

able to say no to your friends?

00:19:54 --> 00:19:55

Now are you able to stand up for

00:19:55 --> 00:19:57

what you believe in and what you believe

00:19:57 --> 00:19:59

is right? Or do you feel

00:19:59 --> 00:20:02

pressured either directly or indirectly to go along

00:20:02 --> 00:20:03

with your friends?

00:20:04 --> 00:20:06

Will your friends be respectful of your choices?

00:20:06 --> 00:20:08

Or will they make fun of your choices?

00:20:08 --> 00:20:10

Right? That's a question I always ask myself.

00:20:11 --> 00:20:12

That if a person

00:20:13 --> 00:20:15

who claims to be my friend cannot respect

00:20:15 --> 00:20:17

my choices and my beliefs, then they don't

00:20:17 --> 00:20:19

deserve to be my friend.

00:20:19 --> 00:20:21

They don't deserve to be my friend. Right?

00:20:21 --> 00:20:23

Because if they can't respect who I am,

00:20:23 --> 00:20:26

if they can't respect my choices, my preferences,

00:20:26 --> 00:20:26

and my beliefs,

00:20:27 --> 00:20:29

then why should I be their friend? Right?

00:20:29 --> 00:20:30

Why should I give them my friendship?

00:20:33 --> 00:20:35

If they're using bad language, you know, if

00:20:35 --> 00:20:37

they're backbiting about others,

00:20:37 --> 00:20:40

if they're gossiping about others, if they're involved

00:20:40 --> 00:20:42

in illicit relationships,

00:20:43 --> 00:20:45

if they're involved in consuming,

00:20:45 --> 00:20:46

you know, illicit,

00:20:47 --> 00:20:47

substances,

00:20:48 --> 00:20:50

watching things which are haram, you know, talking

00:20:50 --> 00:20:52

about things which are haram, there's a good

00:20:52 --> 00:20:53

chance that you're gonna become a part of

00:20:53 --> 00:20:55

it too. Right? Even if they're not telling

00:20:55 --> 00:20:57

you to do it, but you they're just

00:20:57 --> 00:20:58

doing it in your presence and you're hanging

00:20:58 --> 00:21:00

out with them and you're exposed to that,

00:21:00 --> 00:21:02

then you're seeing them do it, and you're

00:21:02 --> 00:21:04

you are considering yourself to be their friends,

00:21:04 --> 00:21:06

there's a good chance you'll also become a

00:21:06 --> 00:21:07

part of it as well. If not right

00:21:07 --> 00:21:09

away, then gradually.

00:21:09 --> 00:21:11

And it's not just for children. Right? Adults

00:21:11 --> 00:21:13

too. We have I mean, this the story

00:21:13 --> 00:21:14

of, of Okla,

00:21:15 --> 00:21:17

is, is, of course, you know, a story

00:21:17 --> 00:21:18

which had to do with,

00:21:19 --> 00:21:21

adults. Right? Okla and Kobay were not children.

00:21:21 --> 00:21:23

Right? That was peer pressure of

00:21:23 --> 00:21:26

adults. So adults are very much, you know,

00:21:26 --> 00:21:28

at risk of this as well. Pressure from,

00:21:29 --> 00:21:31

coworkers, from your peers, from your relatives, from

00:21:31 --> 00:21:34

your friends. Right? All of that is a

00:21:34 --> 00:21:34

reality.

00:21:35 --> 00:21:38

And, in some cases, you know, the corrupted

00:21:38 --> 00:21:38

beliefs

00:21:39 --> 00:21:40

and attitudes of friends

00:21:41 --> 00:21:42

has turned people into criminals,

00:21:43 --> 00:21:43

you

00:21:44 --> 00:21:45

know, even murderers,

00:21:45 --> 00:21:47

you know, and has also negatively

00:21:47 --> 00:21:49

influenced their faith as well. Right? There's some

00:21:49 --> 00:21:52

very, very tragic stories, you know, of young

00:21:52 --> 00:21:54

people who are growing up, who in their

00:21:54 --> 00:21:56

childhood were, you know, were good kids.

00:21:57 --> 00:21:58

They weren't in trouble. And as they were

00:21:58 --> 00:22:00

growing up, especially if they're going through their

00:22:00 --> 00:22:02

teen years, especially when that big switch comes

00:22:02 --> 00:22:04

from middle school to high school, and as

00:22:04 --> 00:22:06

they're going through that those tumultuous years,

00:22:07 --> 00:22:09

well, they're tumultuous for for for most youth.

00:22:10 --> 00:22:11

You know, a lot of things that are

00:22:11 --> 00:22:12

going on, they end up with the wrong

00:22:12 --> 00:22:15

crowd. Right? They end up being taken advantage

00:22:15 --> 00:22:18

of even in some cases. Right? Terrible crimes.

00:22:18 --> 00:22:19

Even against several family members.

00:22:20 --> 00:22:20

Right? At

00:22:21 --> 00:22:22

the due to the influence

00:22:23 --> 00:22:25

of their friends. Right? And, of course, the

00:22:25 --> 00:22:27

prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam has told us

00:22:27 --> 00:22:27

that

00:22:31 --> 00:22:32

that a person

00:22:32 --> 00:22:35

is upon the deen, right, upon the religion,

00:22:35 --> 00:22:37

the path, the way of life of his

00:22:37 --> 00:22:38

close friend.

00:22:38 --> 00:22:40

So beware of whom you befriend.

00:22:41 --> 00:22:43

Beware. Pay attention to who you are making

00:22:43 --> 00:22:46

your friend because whoever you're making your friends,

00:22:46 --> 00:22:48

you are giving them a pass.

00:22:48 --> 00:22:51

You are giving them a ticket to influence

00:22:51 --> 00:22:51

you.

00:22:51 --> 00:22:53

Okay? So you look at the types of

00:22:53 --> 00:22:55

people, pay attention, and who are you getting

00:22:55 --> 00:22:57

close to? Who are you spending time with?

00:22:57 --> 00:23:00

Because those are the people who you are

00:23:00 --> 00:23:02

most likely gonna become like. Those are the

00:23:02 --> 00:23:04

people whose actions will rub off on you

00:23:04 --> 00:23:05

and you will start

00:23:06 --> 00:23:09

believing and acting like them as well.

00:23:09 --> 00:23:11

So this means that a person will be

00:23:11 --> 00:23:13

upon the same methodology,

00:23:13 --> 00:23:14

the same ideology,

00:23:15 --> 00:23:16

right, similar beliefs,

00:23:17 --> 00:23:18

way of life

00:23:18 --> 00:23:19

as their friend,

00:23:19 --> 00:23:22

the same path as their friend. So be

00:23:22 --> 00:23:23

very, very careful

00:23:24 --> 00:23:27

about whom you'll be friends. We also have

00:23:27 --> 00:23:27

the example

00:23:28 --> 00:23:28

of

00:23:29 --> 00:23:31

Abu Dali, the dear uncle of the prophet

00:23:31 --> 00:23:32

sallallahu alaihi

00:23:34 --> 00:23:36

wasallam, who helped him so much,

00:23:37 --> 00:23:39

who helped the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam

00:23:40 --> 00:23:40

tremendously.

00:23:41 --> 00:23:43

Right? Who protected him? He was a rock

00:23:43 --> 00:23:45

for him essentially. Maybe uncle of the prophet

00:23:45 --> 00:23:48

sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, Abu Talib. Right? Great

00:23:48 --> 00:23:50

man in terms of his contributions to protecting

00:23:50 --> 00:23:52

the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam and helping

00:23:52 --> 00:23:53

the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.

00:23:53 --> 00:23:54

Yet, on his deathbed,

00:23:55 --> 00:23:57

the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam found out

00:23:57 --> 00:23:58

that he was on his deathbed, that he

00:23:58 --> 00:24:00

was likely going to

00:24:00 --> 00:24:00

pass. The prophet

00:24:02 --> 00:24:04

rushed there. And out of out of compassion,

00:24:04 --> 00:24:05

out of love, out of mercy,

00:24:05 --> 00:24:08

kindly encourage them just to say that, ilaha

00:24:08 --> 00:24:09

illallah.

00:24:09 --> 00:24:11

Right? To accept that Allah

00:24:12 --> 00:24:13

is 1 and that he is the middle

00:24:13 --> 00:24:16

of Allah. Few words that could have changed

00:24:16 --> 00:24:17

his fate forever.

00:24:17 --> 00:24:18

Subhanallah.

00:24:18 --> 00:24:19

Prophet

00:24:19 --> 00:24:20

told

00:24:21 --> 00:24:23

us. Right? A person who says.

00:24:24 --> 00:24:26

Right? So just a few words, you know,

00:24:26 --> 00:24:28

something that he would just have to say

00:24:28 --> 00:24:31

seemingly very simple, to change his

00:24:31 --> 00:24:33

faith, you know, tremendous like, drastically

00:24:33 --> 00:24:34

in the hereafter.

00:24:35 --> 00:24:37

And so he pleaded with him.

00:24:38 --> 00:24:38

You

00:24:40 --> 00:24:42

know, please. So he pleaded with him. Oh,

00:24:42 --> 00:24:42

my uncle.

00:24:44 --> 00:24:46

You know? This is so but it was

00:24:46 --> 00:24:47

the pressure

00:24:47 --> 00:24:48

from his close friends.

00:24:49 --> 00:24:51

It was pressure from his close friends.

00:24:52 --> 00:24:54

Who? Abu Jahan. Those type of friends. Right?

00:24:54 --> 00:24:57

Enemies of Islam that haunted him and alas

00:24:57 --> 00:24:58

he didn't accept.

00:24:58 --> 00:24:59

You know, that risk

00:25:00 --> 00:25:02

of doing something which will, you know, which

00:25:02 --> 00:25:03

will offend

00:25:04 --> 00:25:05

the friends

00:25:06 --> 00:25:08

and and and leave, you know, a a

00:25:08 --> 00:25:10

a legacy of this betrayal of friendship

00:25:10 --> 00:25:11

forever.

00:25:11 --> 00:25:12

That is

00:25:12 --> 00:25:14

what seemingly held back Abu Talib

00:25:15 --> 00:25:15

from

00:25:16 --> 00:25:17

reciting that,

00:25:18 --> 00:25:20

and he died in that state without saying

00:25:20 --> 00:25:21

that.

00:25:22 --> 00:25:24

So a a a terribly, you know, sad

00:25:24 --> 00:25:27

state of affairs, a sad end for someone

00:25:27 --> 00:25:29

who had, you know, done so much and

00:25:29 --> 00:25:31

had so much potential and was so close.

00:25:32 --> 00:25:34

But because of that built relationship, because of

00:25:34 --> 00:25:34

that friendship

00:25:35 --> 00:25:35

mainly,

00:25:36 --> 00:25:37

right, we find that

00:25:37 --> 00:25:39

that acted as a barrier.

00:25:39 --> 00:25:41

Now peer pressure, of course, can be positive

00:25:41 --> 00:25:43

too. So if your friends, if your acquaintances,

00:25:43 --> 00:25:45

if you have good company and they're doing

00:25:45 --> 00:25:46

something positive,

00:25:46 --> 00:25:48

you know, they're praying on time. They have

00:25:48 --> 00:25:50

good manners. They're coming to the message. They're

00:25:50 --> 00:25:52

staying away from trouble. And I've seen, you

00:25:52 --> 00:25:55

know, young people love that. Now I've seen

00:25:55 --> 00:25:56

I witnessed myself

00:25:58 --> 00:26:00

bless, all of our youngsters, all of our

00:26:00 --> 00:26:01

youth, protect

00:26:01 --> 00:26:02

them all.

00:26:03 --> 00:26:05

And you have seen, you know, young guys,

00:26:05 --> 00:26:08

masha'Allah, who are, you know, they they vow

00:26:08 --> 00:26:09

themselves.

00:26:09 --> 00:26:11

That Saturday mornings, they're gonna come to the

00:26:11 --> 00:26:11

masjid.

00:26:12 --> 00:26:13

Saturday mornings, they're gonna come to the masjid

00:26:13 --> 00:26:15

for Fajr. Now the group of youth are

00:26:15 --> 00:26:17

coming to the masjid for Fajr

00:26:17 --> 00:26:20

on Saturday. What does that mean? It means

00:26:20 --> 00:26:21

that they're out of trouble on Friday night.

00:26:21 --> 00:26:23

Otherwise, they will be coming to the masjid

00:26:23 --> 00:26:23

for Fajr,

00:26:24 --> 00:26:24

by themselves,

00:26:25 --> 00:26:27

willingly wanting to come, and they wanted to

00:26:27 --> 00:26:29

study something afterwards.

00:26:29 --> 00:26:30

You know, I've seen I've seen young people

00:26:30 --> 00:26:31

like that in university.

00:26:32 --> 00:26:33

You know, I'm sure there's many other examples

00:26:33 --> 00:26:35

as well. So if you make good friends,

00:26:35 --> 00:26:37

if you find good company that can elevate

00:26:37 --> 00:26:39

a person, you know, they've been friends who

00:26:39 --> 00:26:41

came together in university, and they all decided

00:26:41 --> 00:26:42

they're they after they graduate, they wanna go

00:26:42 --> 00:26:45

study SNAP. And they all did that, masha'Allah.

00:26:45 --> 00:26:47

You know? So and, of course,

00:26:47 --> 00:26:49

you know, you can find numerous examples, boys

00:26:49 --> 00:26:50

and girls as well. So if you find

00:26:50 --> 00:26:52

you a good company and you you are

00:26:52 --> 00:26:55

together, then that could be a great influence

00:26:55 --> 00:26:55

as well-to-do

00:26:56 --> 00:26:58

good things and to become a better person.

00:26:59 --> 00:27:00

So point is that

00:27:01 --> 00:27:02

if you have good friends,

00:27:03 --> 00:27:05

either they'll give you something beneficial,

00:27:06 --> 00:27:08

either they'll give you something beneficial

00:27:08 --> 00:27:10

or you'll give something and they'll give you

00:27:10 --> 00:27:11

something or at the very least, you're gonna

00:27:11 --> 00:27:13

stay away from trouble.

00:27:13 --> 00:27:15

Even if you don't gain much, at the

00:27:15 --> 00:27:17

very least, you're gonna stay away from trouble.

00:27:17 --> 00:27:19

And if you have bad friends, if you

00:27:19 --> 00:27:20

have evil friends,

00:27:21 --> 00:27:23

right, you will get burned one way or

00:27:23 --> 00:27:24

the other.

00:27:24 --> 00:27:26

And at the very least, your character,

00:27:26 --> 00:27:27

your faith,

00:27:28 --> 00:27:30

your intellect, your behavior, your attitude

00:27:31 --> 00:27:33

will all look smell, will all look

00:27:34 --> 00:27:34

and smell

00:27:35 --> 00:27:36

and feel that.

00:27:36 --> 00:27:38

Right? Because if you're around people who's, you

00:27:38 --> 00:27:41

know, who stink, and I don't mean physically

00:27:41 --> 00:27:43

any stink, you know, like, whose character is

00:27:43 --> 00:27:45

bad, right, whose behavior is bad, then you're

00:27:45 --> 00:27:48

gonna start thinking as well. Right? And same

00:27:48 --> 00:27:49

thing goes online as well because, you know,

00:27:49 --> 00:27:52

oftentimes we think of friends that are, any

00:27:53 --> 00:27:55

that we have face to face contact with,

00:27:55 --> 00:27:57

but even online friends. Right? If you are

00:27:57 --> 00:27:57

around

00:27:58 --> 00:27:58

bad people.

00:27:59 --> 00:28:00

Right?

00:28:00 --> 00:28:02

And your your friends are bad,

00:28:02 --> 00:28:03

online,

00:28:03 --> 00:28:05

you're following people who are into bad things,

00:28:05 --> 00:28:07

then your news feed is gonna be filled

00:28:07 --> 00:28:08

with bad things. Those are the alerts you're

00:28:08 --> 00:28:10

gonna be getting. Those are the notifications you're

00:28:10 --> 00:28:12

gonna be getting. You're gonna be seeing inappropriate

00:28:12 --> 00:28:14

and dirty comments and material and pictures and

00:28:14 --> 00:28:16

all types of things and thoughts, and that

00:28:16 --> 00:28:18

is gonna influence you most likely. Right? They

00:28:18 --> 00:28:20

will have an effect on you. So my

00:28:20 --> 00:28:21

brothers and sisters,

00:28:22 --> 00:28:23

a few things. So first of all, do

00:28:23 --> 00:28:25

an audit of your friends.

00:28:25 --> 00:28:28

Now are they helping you become better? Right?

00:28:28 --> 00:28:30

Your friends and the people you're around, are

00:28:30 --> 00:28:32

they helping you become better? Or are they

00:28:32 --> 00:28:34

the types of friends that discourage you from

00:28:34 --> 00:28:35

doing good things?

00:28:35 --> 00:28:37

Right? Which type of people are you around?

00:28:37 --> 00:28:39

Do you do they encourage you? Just simple

00:28:39 --> 00:28:41

question to answer for yourself. Do they encourage

00:28:41 --> 00:28:42

you to do good, or do they encourage

00:28:42 --> 00:28:44

you to do bad? Right? Are they respectful

00:28:44 --> 00:28:46

respectful of your beliefs or not?

00:28:47 --> 00:28:48

Secondly, when you get together,

00:28:49 --> 00:28:50

what do you do?

00:28:51 --> 00:28:53

What are the things that you do? What

00:28:53 --> 00:28:54

do you talk about?

00:28:54 --> 00:28:56

Are the things that people don't wanna hear

00:28:56 --> 00:28:58

about that, you know, you don't want people

00:28:58 --> 00:29:00

to hear about? Are you doing things that,

00:29:01 --> 00:29:03

you know, are you doing things and talking

00:29:03 --> 00:29:05

about things that you don't want other people

00:29:05 --> 00:29:06

to know about?

00:29:06 --> 00:29:08

What are the things that they're involved in?

00:29:08 --> 00:29:10

Right? Are these things that you're ashamed of

00:29:10 --> 00:29:11

telling others, especially

00:29:11 --> 00:29:14

for younger people, your parents, your teachers? Right?

00:29:15 --> 00:29:16

Is it something that you're ashamed of that

00:29:16 --> 00:29:18

you don't want people to find out about?

00:29:19 --> 00:29:20

And I also think how can you encourage

00:29:20 --> 00:29:22

your friends towards positive and good and clean

00:29:22 --> 00:29:25

things? Because sometimes within a group of friends,

00:29:25 --> 00:29:26

yes, maybe will someone will have a bad

00:29:26 --> 00:29:29

idea. Someone will have an evil thought. No

00:29:29 --> 00:29:31

one's perfect. Right? But it's the job of

00:29:31 --> 00:29:34

good friends to help guide one another, to

00:29:34 --> 00:29:36

help support one another, right, to the best

00:29:36 --> 00:29:38

of their ability, to guide a person away

00:29:38 --> 00:29:39

from making wrong choices.

00:29:39 --> 00:29:41

Right, to try to help them make the

00:29:41 --> 00:29:41

right choices.

00:29:42 --> 00:29:45

In the end, the most important question is,

00:29:45 --> 00:29:47

are you going to be happy

00:29:48 --> 00:29:50

that you had these friends in this life

00:29:50 --> 00:29:51

on the day of judgement,

00:29:51 --> 00:29:53

Or are you going to regret and be

00:29:53 --> 00:29:55

upset at them for all the trouble that

00:29:55 --> 00:29:57

they got you into when you are around

00:29:57 --> 00:29:57

them?

00:29:58 --> 00:29:59

Right. On the day of judgment,

00:29:59 --> 00:30:01

when you think of your friends on the

00:30:01 --> 00:30:02

day of judgment, are you going to be

00:30:02 --> 00:30:04

glad that they were your friends? Or are

00:30:04 --> 00:30:05

you going to be biting your hand in

00:30:05 --> 00:30:06

regret?

00:30:09 --> 00:30:10

Yeah. Saying those type of words, regretting

00:30:11 --> 00:30:14

that you had taken someone as your friends.

00:30:14 --> 00:30:15

And for parents,

00:30:15 --> 00:30:17

you know, of course, try to have good

00:30:17 --> 00:30:20

company yourselves. Be on the lookout for changes

00:30:20 --> 00:30:20

in behavior.

00:30:21 --> 00:30:22

Right? Pay attention to the types of friends

00:30:22 --> 00:30:24

that your child is hanging out with, and

00:30:24 --> 00:30:27

be proactive before things get out of hand.

00:30:27 --> 00:30:29

Right? Whatever steps need to be taken. If

00:30:29 --> 00:30:30

something's not working,

00:30:31 --> 00:30:33

you need to fix it. What's What's it

00:30:33 --> 00:30:34

saying? If it's not broken, don't fix it.

00:30:34 --> 00:30:35

Okay? If it's fine,

00:30:36 --> 00:30:37

But if it's not working,

00:30:38 --> 00:30:39

keeping status quo is not gonna help the

00:30:39 --> 00:30:41

situation. Right? So whether it's changing schools, neighborhoods,

00:30:41 --> 00:30:43

or your social circle, or whatever is possible,

00:30:44 --> 00:30:46

all options need to be on the table.

00:31:08 --> 00:31:10

Will Allah please bless us with good company

00:31:10 --> 00:31:11

and surround us with good people.

00:31:13 --> 00:31:15

Will Allah please protect us from evil company

00:31:15 --> 00:31:16

and evil companions.

00:31:17 --> 00:31:20

Oh, Allah, please beautify our conduct, our attitudes,

00:31:20 --> 00:31:23

our beliefs with the beauty of iman.

00:31:24 --> 00:31:26

Oh, Allah, please guide those who are on

00:31:26 --> 00:31:27

the path of misguidance and harm.

00:31:28 --> 00:31:30

Oh, Allah, our youth, our children,

00:31:31 --> 00:31:33

adults, oh, Allah, whoever is on the path

00:31:33 --> 00:31:33

of misguidance,

00:31:34 --> 00:31:36

oh, Allah, please guide them to guidance, You

00:31:36 --> 00:31:39

Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah, please cure all of

00:31:39 --> 00:31:41

our brothers and sisters of all types of

00:31:41 --> 00:31:43

illnesses, whether they are spiritual or physical or

00:31:43 --> 00:31:45

mental, You Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah, please cure

00:31:45 --> 00:31:47

all of our brothers and sisters who are

00:31:47 --> 00:31:50

sick, who are physically sick, especially our elder

00:31:50 --> 00:31:52

sister who are suffering from illness and pain,

00:31:52 --> 00:31:54

our brother and sister who are suffering from

00:31:54 --> 00:31:56

long term pain and injuries, all of those

00:31:56 --> 00:31:58

who are ill or at risk of becoming

00:31:58 --> 00:32:00

ill. Just heard about the mother of our

00:32:00 --> 00:32:02

dear mother, Rahil, who is once again ill.

00:32:02 --> 00:32:04

Oh, Allah, you are the protector and healer.

00:32:04 --> 00:32:06

Oh, Allah, please grant them a speedy recovery,

00:32:06 --> 00:32:09

You Rabbal Alameen. Oh, Allah, please protect them

00:32:09 --> 00:32:10

and all of us from all types of

00:32:10 --> 00:32:12

illnesses and pain and suffering, and grant them

00:32:12 --> 00:32:15

a state of peace, Oh, Allah, please bring

00:32:15 --> 00:32:17

relief to all of those who are in

00:32:17 --> 00:32:19

pain, all of those who are in grief,

00:32:19 --> 00:32:21

all of those who are facing stress and

00:32:21 --> 00:32:21

anxiety.

00:32:22 --> 00:32:24

Oh, Allah, please replace all of these worries

00:32:24 --> 00:32:26

with happiness and peace and joy.

00:35:55 --> 00:35:57

Brothers and sisters who are at home, please

00:35:57 --> 00:35:59

go ahead and offer 4 o'clock, or

00:36:00 --> 00:36:02

if you have registered for Friday prayer, please

00:36:02 --> 00:36:05

come at your allotted time tonight. We'll be

00:36:05 --> 00:36:08

having, family game night at 7:45 PM. Everyone

00:36:08 --> 00:36:10

is welcome. Please do log on with your

00:36:10 --> 00:36:10

families,

00:36:11 --> 00:36:11

at 7:[email protected]/live.

00:36:16 --> 00:36:17

You will be able to find the link

00:36:17 --> 00:36:19

there. Look forward to, seeing you inshallah.

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