Sikander Hashmi – The Tragic Reality of Suicide KMA Friday Message

Sikander Hashmi
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the increasing death toll in Canada due to COVID-19 and the high prevalence of suicidal thoughts and suicidal tendencies among Muslims. They emphasize the importance of suicidal thoughts and suicidal tendencies, as well as the potential link between medical conditions and these tendencies. The speakers also emphasize the need for men's rights to be respected and the potential consequences of suicides and suicidal thoughts. They stress the importance of avoiding suicidal thoughts and actively seeking help for people facing difficult situations.
AI: Transcript ©
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Respected elders,

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dear brothers and sisters,

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my young friends,

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We begin by praising Allah

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the Lord of the universe,

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our creator,

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our sustainer,

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our designer,

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our nourisher,

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our protector,

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and we begin by sending peace and salutations

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upon his beloved messenger, Mohammed, the son of

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Abdullah. I pray for Allah

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that you're all well by his mercy and

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his grace.

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I hope that school is going well for

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my young friends

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and that my,

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brothers and sisters and my elders

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are all safe and healthy by the mercy

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of Allah

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My brothers and sisters,

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as we know,

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autumn is here, fall is here, and as

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I was coming here, I was noticing how

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beautiful the leaves were looking.

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And, you

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know, we see

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this beauty right before the end of the

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season for the trees and the leaves.

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So they are beautiful today,

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more so than they were in the summer,

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but soon we know that their end is

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coming.

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And similarly, for us as human beings as

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well,

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we know that our end has to come

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one day. And today, I will be talking

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about

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a topic which is related to this, which

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is important,

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also which is somewhat disturbing,

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but nonetheless, it is important that we talk

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about this topic

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because due to its nature, it is often

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not talked about and not discussed at least

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in our communities.

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Now we know that there's a lot of

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concern, first of all, regarding COVID 19

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and the rising death toll. There have been

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over 9,000

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deaths in Canada attributed to this virus,

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including a number of our brothers and sisters

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in this country and in many other parts

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of the world as well. We ask almighty

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Allah to treat them,

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to welcome them them as marchers, and to

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grant them the best place in Jannah.

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What we are talking about today, my brothers

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and sisters,

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is

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not COVID 19, but the 9th leading cause

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of death in Canada.

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And we know

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that most things that have to do with

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us

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are actually not in our control. You know,

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as human beings, we like to believe

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that we have control, that we have a

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lot of control, and that we wanna continue

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to increase our control

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over matters, over things. But the reality is

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that most things that have to do with

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us or that impact us, we actually don't

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have them in our control.

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And that includes

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when and where we were born. Right? Did

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anyone ask you where you wanted to be

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born or when you wanted to be born

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or who your, you know, who you wanted

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your parents to be? Of course not.

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And among those things that we do not

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control are also where and how we are

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going to die. This is something that Allah

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has

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already decided for

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us, but it is only in the knowledge

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of Allah

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and this is something that he has not

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shared with his creation with his servants.

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Now sadly and unfortunately,

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there are numerous instances

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where people, for one reason or another,

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decide that they no longer want to live,

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or they feel that they cannot continue with

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life.

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And as a result, they try to cause

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their own death

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instead of leaving it up to Allah

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Now, of course, Allah

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is the one who has decided

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and who has ultimate control over this. Sometimes

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a person tries to attempt to take their

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life

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and the decree of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

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agrees with that choice or matches

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and the person dies. But in many instances,

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a person tries to take their own life,

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but it does not match with the decision

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or decree of Allah subhanahu

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wa ta'ala, and it is the decree of

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Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala which supersedes that person's

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choice

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or, you know, overcomes that person's choice and

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that person does not end up dying. And

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this happens almost every single day.

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Now sadly, Muslims

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are not immune from such thoughts and actions.

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Many times we like to think that, you

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know, these are,

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problems that face, you know, certain societies and

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that as Muslims who are believers in Islam

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and the beautiful teachings of one as messenger

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that, you know, we are immune from these

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types of things and we don't have to

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deal with them and they're not of concern

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to us.

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But my brothers and sisters, there was a

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survey that was con

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conducted in 2018.

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This was done by Naseeha,

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which is a mental health organization for Muslim

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youth.

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And out of a 162 youth surveyed,

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62%

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said that they had suicidal thoughts

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and 19% had actually attempted to take their

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own lives. We're talking about Muslim youth here

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here in Canada, North America.

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And these numbers

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were higher for females than males.

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70% of females having,

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thoughts having suicidal thoughts compared to 40% of

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males.

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22% of females actually attempting to take their

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own lives, attempting suicide

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compared to 12% of males.

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So what we saw was that these types

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of thoughts existed in both young, males and

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females,

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but the numbers were higher for females.

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And also, 87%

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of those who had engaged in self harm

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according to the survey, meaning who had hurt

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themselves somehow,

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rated religion as as important to very important.

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So it was not that these were young

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people who did not care about their religion

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or who were, you know, completely distant from

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their religion, but rather they felt that their

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religion was important to them or very important.

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Yet, they had still engaged in these types

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of, they still have these types of thoughts

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and they did still engage in these types

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of behaviors.

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Now overall, in Canada, the numbers are actually

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quite shocking.

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Males

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account for over 70% of suicides from age

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15 onward.

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And the highest suicide rate across lifespan,

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according to Statistics Canada, observed

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is observed amongst males 45 to 59 years

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old. But, subhanallah, the the numbers there are

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huge in terms of, you know, it being

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the leading cause of death,

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for,

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for young people,

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for young males, you know,

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all the way through to, or, you know,

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one of the leading causes of death

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all the way, up to, like, you know,

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age, 45. So

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or even higher than that. So I mean,

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it's, it's something that is a widespread phenomenon,

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unfortunately.

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You know, 10 to 11 people a day

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in Canada,

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who died due to suicide.

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Women are actually more likely to try to

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take their own lives,

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perhaps even 3 to 4 times more likely,

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but men are more likely to die from

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it.

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So the point there is that both have

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those types of thoughts. Women probably have more,

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they have more attempts, but for some reason,

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and there's and the researchers have talked about

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why this may be the case, but men

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are more likely to actually,

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die from it. So when you see the

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numbers that say that, you know, it's very

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high for men, it doesn't necessarily, you know,

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it doesn't mean that women are not thinking

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about it or not attempting it. It's just

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that men are more successful,

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unfortunately, in in committing this act. Now September

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is suicide prevention awareness month

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and it is important for us to discuss

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this topic openly.

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So we know that, you know, it is

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a serious issue that impacts both males and

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females.

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Although men are more successful in carrying it

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through and therefore are ultimately,

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impacted,

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in in a greater way.

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My brothers and sisters, this is an issue

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that has been addressed in the Quran and

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the sunnah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

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Allah

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says in the Quran,

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Quran.

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Says and do not kill and

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is translated understood in both ways. That do

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not kill each other, that we collectively don't

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kill each other,

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but also

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don't kill yourselves.

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Allah says, surely Allah is ever merciful

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to you.

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And, the prophet

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has also told us, in there are numerous

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hadith.

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So for

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example,

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that whoever kills himself with something

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in this world will be punished with it

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on the day of judgment.

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And

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said that the messenger of Allah said

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that that a man among those who came

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before you was wounded.

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He panicked. And what did he do? He

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took a knife,

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and he cut his hand.

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And the bleeding did not stop until he

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died.

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Allah

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said, my slave hastened his death.

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I have forbidden paradise

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unto him. Allah

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protect us. Now the prophet

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refrained from offering the janaza prayer. Right? The

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funeral prayer. And that's a big thing because,

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you know, when the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam

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is around, of course, everyone would want him

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to be,

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to have his dua, to have him, lead

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the prayer, to participate in their funeral prayer,

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their final rights. But the prophet refrained from

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offering the funeral prayer for the one who

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had committed suicide.

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But it was permitted for others to offer

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it. So it's not like the the janazah

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prayer was not offered, but the prophet sallallahu

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alaihi wasallam refrained from leading and participating in

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the janazah.

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Now it is important here to note

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that there are, you know, certain mental illnesses

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that can lead to such thoughts, such as

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major or clinical depression,

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post traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, and, of

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course, you know, certain type of medications as

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well, antidepressants that can initially,

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you know, or at sometimes cause,

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you know, suicidal thoughts, or, you know, cause

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that has a side effect.

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So medical conditions can also be linked to

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depression and suicidal thinking

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such as chronic disease or chronic pain, terminal

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illness. This is what the doctors and the

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research tell us. Now if a person, you

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know, commits it

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and they were mentally ill or they were

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truly in severe difficulty,

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then they would have still committed a sin,

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but we hope for Allah's mercy and forgiveness

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for them. We make the ad that Allah

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deals with them with compassion and mercy and

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forgiveness

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due to the circumstances

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they were in. And at the end of

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the day, Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, has most

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just Allah does

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never, wrongs,

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or, or commit suppression against any of his

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servants.

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Now while it is a major sin,

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it is not suicide is not an act

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of disbelief.

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So if a person who due to their

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circumstances or or their their wrong choices or

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whatever the case may be, ends up, you

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know, committing suicide, it does not mean that

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they have committed an act of foot for

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it or that they have left the full

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of the stamp. This is an incorrect belief,

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that seems to be around.

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Now suicidal quants have many causes. You know,

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most often,

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they are the result of feeling. Like, you

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can't cope

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when you're faced with what seems to be

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an overwhelming life situation.

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Now a multitude of problems or a a

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challenge, a struggle which is so great,

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and and a person, it feels like they

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they cannot cope with it. They just don't

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know how to how to deal with it

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or how to process it. And

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they may be feeling that there's no hope

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or there is no way out or perhaps

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they are feeling worthless. Perhaps something has happened

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and they are feeling, you know, so so

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down and so worthless. So they're feeling that

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they're not good enough.

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Perhaps feeling lonely or maybe fearing consequences

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or embarrassment.

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So there could be multitude of reasons or

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thoughts that can sort of lead a person,

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in that direction.

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And, ultimately, you know what it is, that

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if you, you know, if if a person

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doesn't have hope for the future,

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they may be inclined to give up

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and, you know, they may mistakenly think

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that taking their own lives, that committing suicide

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is a solution.

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Right? Because there's no hope and there's no

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way out and and and they can't take

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it anymore and they're giving up and they

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want to get out of that situation.

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So death is seen as a solution

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and, of course, which is it is not.

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You know, a person may experience a sort

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of tunnel vision where in the middle of

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a crisis, like, it's like a person who's

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in the right in the middle of a

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storm,

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and,

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you know, they believe that taking their own

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life is the only way out and the

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reality is is that there's always something that

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can be done. As Sayna Yaqub alaihi salam

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told his sons,

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and do not lose hope in the mercy

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of Allah. No matter how, you know, sad

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or depressing or difficult the situation may be,

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we should always have hope in Allah subhanahu

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wa ta'ala, in the mercy of Allah subhanahu

00:13:12 --> 00:13:14

wa ta'ala, and this is what we learn.

00:13:14 --> 00:13:16

And we have, you know, multitude of stories

00:13:16 --> 00:13:17

of inspiration,

00:13:18 --> 00:13:20

where people turn to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:13:20 --> 00:13:21

in the depths of hardship

00:13:22 --> 00:13:24

and difficulty and help of Allah subhanahu wa

00:13:24 --> 00:13:26

ta'ala came. Now doctors say that there may

00:13:26 --> 00:13:28

also be a genetic link to suicide. So

00:13:28 --> 00:13:29

people who,

00:13:30 --> 00:13:33

who complete suicide or who have suicidal thoughts

00:13:33 --> 00:13:35

or behaviors are, according to doctors, likely to

00:13:35 --> 00:13:37

have a family history of such behavior as

00:13:37 --> 00:13:39

well. So that is also a possibility. Now

00:13:39 --> 00:13:40

whatever the cause,

00:13:41 --> 00:13:43

it is important to always remember, always to

00:13:43 --> 00:13:44

remind ourselves

00:13:45 --> 00:13:47

that, you know, ending life is never the

00:13:47 --> 00:13:49

solution to a problem.

00:13:49 --> 00:13:51

It is never the solution to a problem.

00:13:52 --> 00:13:54

In fact, it might actually end up being

00:13:54 --> 00:13:54

the beginning

00:13:55 --> 00:13:57

of much greater problems. So a person is

00:13:57 --> 00:13:59

facing challenges, and it's not to say that

00:13:59 --> 00:14:01

their challenges are not great. It's not to

00:14:01 --> 00:14:03

diminish the severity of their struggle or challenges.

00:14:03 --> 00:14:05

But a person may be thinking thinking

00:14:05 --> 00:14:08

that, you know, if they, they can escape

00:14:09 --> 00:14:11

their, you know, their problems, their situation through

00:14:11 --> 00:14:12

death, but in reality,

00:14:13 --> 00:14:14

they're causing their own death. But in reality,

00:14:15 --> 00:14:17

that may just be the beginning of even

00:14:17 --> 00:14:19

greater problems. And perhaps, you know, this is

00:14:19 --> 00:14:21

one of the reasons why Allah

00:14:21 --> 00:14:23

made it harm. Right? To protect us from

00:14:23 --> 00:14:25

the consequences of suicide in the afterlife.

00:14:26 --> 00:14:29

Right? So by by Allah making it haram

00:14:29 --> 00:14:29

and the prophet

00:14:30 --> 00:14:33

giving these severe warnings, it's really to be

00:14:33 --> 00:14:34

a deterrent to us that, you know, don't

00:14:34 --> 00:14:37

contemplate this. Don't go down this road because

00:14:37 --> 00:14:39

if you do, then you actually won't be

00:14:39 --> 00:14:41

getting out of your out of your problems,

00:14:41 --> 00:14:42

but you will be creating greater problems for

00:14:42 --> 00:14:44

yourself in the afterlife. Allah

00:14:45 --> 00:14:48

knows best. But, nonetheless, if a person has

00:14:48 --> 00:14:48

such thoughts,

00:14:49 --> 00:14:51

it does not make them a bad person.

00:14:52 --> 00:14:54

If a person has such thoughts, it doesn't

00:14:54 --> 00:14:56

make them a bad person. It just means

00:14:56 --> 00:14:58

that they really need help.

00:14:59 --> 00:15:01

A person who struggles with such thoughts, it

00:15:01 --> 00:15:02

doesn't mean that they are a bad Muslim

00:15:02 --> 00:15:04

or a bad person. Right? A person

00:15:05 --> 00:15:06

may be someone may be a person of

00:15:06 --> 00:15:07

faith

00:15:07 --> 00:15:10

who is faced with such great struggles and

00:15:10 --> 00:15:11

emotional pain

00:15:11 --> 00:15:13

and trauma that it overwhelms

00:15:14 --> 00:15:16

everything that they have learned from their faith

00:15:16 --> 00:15:18

and that they believe in. Right? It's possible

00:15:18 --> 00:15:19

that in the in the thick of crisis,

00:15:20 --> 00:15:22

right, they are suddenly overwhelmed in such a

00:15:22 --> 00:15:24

great way that, you know, everything that they

00:15:24 --> 00:15:26

know and they believe in, they'll say it

00:15:26 --> 00:15:27

too. At that point, in that pain, in

00:15:27 --> 00:15:30

that in in that moment of difficulty,

00:15:30 --> 00:15:33

you know, everything else, may just become covered.

00:15:34 --> 00:15:35

Right, by that by by the the stress

00:15:35 --> 00:15:38

and and the the the the severity of

00:15:38 --> 00:15:41

that that challenge and that struggle. And, of

00:15:41 --> 00:15:42

course, it'll be even harder for those who

00:15:42 --> 00:15:43

have no faith.

00:15:44 --> 00:15:45

Right? People who have no faith and no

00:15:45 --> 00:15:46

no,

00:15:46 --> 00:15:48

you know, structure to deal with problems and

00:15:48 --> 00:15:49

challenges

00:15:49 --> 00:15:51

spiritually and mentally,

00:15:52 --> 00:15:53

it can even be harder for them. Right?

00:15:53 --> 00:15:56

So, ideally, it shouldn't happen, but it can

00:15:56 --> 00:15:59

happen. Right? It can happen really to anyone.

00:15:59 --> 00:16:01

Now a person can feel overloaded

00:16:01 --> 00:16:04

to the point of wanting to quit life

00:16:04 --> 00:16:07

when problems start piling 1, you know, piling

00:16:07 --> 00:16:08

up one after the other.

00:16:09 --> 00:16:09

Okay? So,

00:16:10 --> 00:16:12

you know, you become overloaded and just wanna

00:16:12 --> 00:16:13

quit. And, you know, a lot of times

00:16:13 --> 00:16:14

that's what we do in life. Right? I

00:16:14 --> 00:16:17

mean, you know, a person, you know, they

00:16:17 --> 00:16:18

not able to cope with their studies. It's

00:16:18 --> 00:16:20

just too much burden. Okay. They'll they'll quit

00:16:20 --> 00:16:22

school. Shouldn't do that, but I'm saying, you

00:16:22 --> 00:16:24

know, that's what happens. You don't like your

00:16:24 --> 00:16:25

job, too many problems, okay, you wind up

00:16:25 --> 00:16:26

quitting.

00:16:26 --> 00:16:28

You know, something's not working out, we quit.

00:16:28 --> 00:16:30

We're playing a game, you know, don't wanna

00:16:30 --> 00:16:31

continue,

00:16:31 --> 00:16:32

you know, you're doing really bad, you quit.

00:16:32 --> 00:16:35

Restart. But you can't, you know that's not

00:16:35 --> 00:16:37

an approach that we can apply to life.

00:16:37 --> 00:16:39

Right? But sometimes that is the thought process

00:16:39 --> 00:16:41

when a person is feeling overloaded. You wanna

00:16:41 --> 00:16:43

quit life when there are too many problems

00:16:43 --> 00:16:46

that are, that are priming up. Now there

00:16:46 --> 00:16:48

is a concern, I have to say, amongst

00:16:48 --> 00:16:49

mental health professionals

00:16:49 --> 00:16:51

that the situation that we're living in right

00:16:51 --> 00:16:52

now, this pandemic,

00:16:53 --> 00:16:56

may actually lead to an increase in suicides

00:16:56 --> 00:16:56

as well

00:16:57 --> 00:16:57

because,

00:16:58 --> 00:16:59

know, there are many people who are sadly

00:16:59 --> 00:17:03

and fortunately losing work, losing their businesses especially.

00:17:03 --> 00:17:03

Right?

00:17:04 --> 00:17:06

Losing their homes as a result, losing their

00:17:06 --> 00:17:08

investments and the the things that they have

00:17:08 --> 00:17:09

built up over time.

00:17:10 --> 00:17:11

And this is on top

00:17:12 --> 00:17:14

of other, you know, everyday problems or other

00:17:14 --> 00:17:17

problems that people face everyday, you know, that

00:17:17 --> 00:17:19

have to do with debts or, you know,

00:17:19 --> 00:17:20

family problems, broken

00:17:20 --> 00:17:23

relationships, divorces, you know, lack of access,

00:17:23 --> 00:17:25

to children, especially for fathers. This can be

00:17:25 --> 00:17:28

a big one, You know, abuse, addictions, you

00:17:28 --> 00:17:29

know, just to name a few of a

00:17:29 --> 00:17:32

few. So the situation that we find ourselves

00:17:32 --> 00:17:34

in right now is on top of all

00:17:34 --> 00:17:37

the existing, you know, problems and struggles and

00:17:37 --> 00:17:39

challenges that have already been there.

00:17:40 --> 00:17:42

So that's why there is big concern especially

00:17:42 --> 00:17:45

at this time amongst, medical experts. Now it

00:17:45 --> 00:17:46

can also be let's face it. It can

00:17:46 --> 00:17:49

also be whispers from Shaitan because, of course,

00:17:49 --> 00:17:51

Shaitan loves to inspire us

00:17:51 --> 00:17:53

to do that which displeases Allah

00:17:54 --> 00:17:57

Right? What does Shaitan love to do? Shaitan

00:17:57 --> 00:17:59

loves to inspire us

00:17:59 --> 00:18:01

to do things which are displeasing to Allah

00:18:01 --> 00:18:03

Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Right? That's his mission. Right?

00:18:03 --> 00:18:05

That's what he's adopted as his mission. So

00:18:05 --> 00:18:07

he's always gonna be trying to get us

00:18:07 --> 00:18:07

to do things

00:18:08 --> 00:18:10

which Allah has forbidden, which are bad for

00:18:10 --> 00:18:11

us, which are harmful for us, which are

00:18:11 --> 00:18:14

displeasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Right? So

00:18:14 --> 00:18:16

many times, they could this this could be

00:18:16 --> 00:18:17

a major factor,

00:18:17 --> 00:18:19

as well. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect

00:18:19 --> 00:18:19

us

00:18:20 --> 00:18:22

and our loved ones, our community members, all

00:18:22 --> 00:18:24

people from all forms of evils and trials.

00:18:24 --> 00:18:25

May Allah

00:18:26 --> 00:18:27

grant us all belief and strength.

00:18:30 --> 00:18:30

Now hopelessness

00:18:31 --> 00:18:33

and despair. Right? So when a person feels

00:18:33 --> 00:18:34

hopeless

00:18:35 --> 00:18:37

and desperation, they're they're they're they're

00:18:38 --> 00:18:40

feeling hopeless and and and desperate, they're in

00:18:40 --> 00:18:42

despair, it can lead to thoughts of giving

00:18:42 --> 00:18:43

up.

00:18:43 --> 00:18:45

But the reality is that this dunya is

00:18:45 --> 00:18:46

a place

00:18:47 --> 00:18:47

of tests

00:18:48 --> 00:18:49

and trials.

00:18:49 --> 00:18:52

Each person is tested in their own way.

00:18:52 --> 00:18:54

And on the day of judgment, each person

00:18:55 --> 00:18:57

will be judged in proportion to what they

00:18:57 --> 00:18:58

were faced with in this world.

00:19:00 --> 00:19:00

Each person

00:19:01 --> 00:19:03

will be judged with, will be dealt with

00:19:03 --> 00:19:05

in a manner that is in proportion to

00:19:05 --> 00:19:07

what they face in this world. For those

00:19:07 --> 00:19:08

who are blessed in this world

00:19:09 --> 00:19:10

and who hardly faced hardships.

00:19:11 --> 00:19:13

Right? And there are people like that. Has

00:19:13 --> 00:19:15

blessed them. Right? Regardless of who they are,

00:19:15 --> 00:19:17

Muslims or not, it doesn't matter. Has blessed

00:19:17 --> 00:19:17

them.

00:19:18 --> 00:19:20

And, they hardly face any hardships,

00:19:21 --> 00:19:23

right, then they will likely be judged more

00:19:23 --> 00:19:24

harshly.

00:19:24 --> 00:19:26

And those who have lived with hardships and

00:19:26 --> 00:19:27

struggles

00:19:27 --> 00:19:28

will likely be shown

00:19:29 --> 00:19:30

ease or dealt with with ease by Allah

00:19:30 --> 00:19:32

Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. At the end, Allah Subhanahu

00:19:32 --> 00:19:33

Wa Ta'ala is the judge and Allah knows

00:19:33 --> 00:19:34

best. But we got an indication

00:19:35 --> 00:19:36

because the prophet told

00:19:37 --> 00:19:38

us that he shall gather on the day

00:19:38 --> 00:19:39

of judgment,

00:19:40 --> 00:19:41

and it will be asked,

00:19:41 --> 00:19:43

where are the poor and the destitute of

00:19:43 --> 00:19:44

this nation?

00:19:45 --> 00:19:47

Where are the poor and the destitute of

00:19:47 --> 00:19:49

this nation? And they shall stand up, and

00:19:49 --> 00:19:50

they will be asked,

00:19:50 --> 00:19:52

what did you do in this worldly in

00:19:52 --> 00:19:53

the worldly life?

00:19:53 --> 00:19:55

And they shall reply,

00:19:55 --> 00:19:56

you rob, our lord,

00:19:56 --> 00:19:58

you tested us,

00:19:59 --> 00:20:01

yeah, and we bore it patiently.

00:20:01 --> 00:20:03

Our lord, you tested us,

00:20:03 --> 00:20:05

and we bore it patiently

00:20:06 --> 00:20:08

when others were given wealth and power.

00:20:08 --> 00:20:10

What was happening to others? They were given

00:20:10 --> 00:20:11

wealth and power, but we bore,

00:20:13 --> 00:20:14

your test patiently,

00:20:14 --> 00:20:15

and Allah

00:20:15 --> 00:20:17

will say that you have spoken the truth,

00:20:17 --> 00:20:20

so they shall enter Jannah, enter paradise before

00:20:20 --> 00:20:21

the others.

00:20:21 --> 00:20:23

And those who are endowed with wealth and

00:20:23 --> 00:20:23

power

00:20:24 --> 00:20:24

will receive

00:20:25 --> 00:20:27

a severe reckoning. What's the word? Those who

00:20:27 --> 00:20:29

are endowed with,

00:20:29 --> 00:20:31

blessed with wealth and power will receive

00:20:31 --> 00:20:32

a severe

00:20:32 --> 00:20:33

reckoning. So Allah

00:20:34 --> 00:20:36

will deal with people. What we learned, the

00:20:36 --> 00:20:38

indication is Allah will deal with people according

00:20:38 --> 00:20:39

to

00:20:40 --> 00:20:42

how what they were given in this life

00:20:42 --> 00:20:44

and the circumstances that they faced during their

00:20:44 --> 00:20:46

lives. So my brothers and sisters, giving up

00:20:46 --> 00:20:47

is not a real option. And in fact,

00:20:47 --> 00:20:49

as someone beautifully said,

00:20:49 --> 00:20:52

recently in a session that I was, in,

00:20:52 --> 00:20:53

that it is a permanent solution

00:20:54 --> 00:20:56

to a temporary problem.

00:20:56 --> 00:20:57

What is suicide?

00:20:57 --> 00:20:59

It is a permanent solution

00:21:00 --> 00:21:03

to a temporary problem. It's not really any

00:21:03 --> 00:21:04

it's not exactly a solution, but it's it's

00:21:04 --> 00:21:07

a it's a permanent app to deal with

00:21:07 --> 00:21:10

a temporary problem. And every problem is temporary

00:21:10 --> 00:21:12

either in this world, so either a problem

00:21:12 --> 00:21:14

will go away in this world.

00:21:14 --> 00:21:16

And even if it is permanent in this

00:21:16 --> 00:21:18

world, it is not permanent in the hereafter.

00:21:18 --> 00:21:20

A person who is living with the struggle

00:21:20 --> 00:21:21

in this world,

00:21:21 --> 00:21:23

that struggle will not continue, will not transfer

00:21:23 --> 00:21:24

into the hereafter.

00:21:25 --> 00:21:27

Right? The problems and the trials of this

00:21:27 --> 00:21:28

world are for this world.

00:21:29 --> 00:21:30

And now I know this is easier said

00:21:30 --> 00:21:32

than done, but the reality is that Allah

00:21:32 --> 00:21:33

has

00:21:33 --> 00:21:34

given us each

00:21:34 --> 00:21:35

strength

00:21:35 --> 00:21:38

to bear with whatever he test us

00:21:38 --> 00:21:40

with. Right? When we go through a struggle

00:21:40 --> 00:21:41

and a challenge and we feel like, you

00:21:41 --> 00:21:43

know, we we can't deal with it, we

00:21:43 --> 00:21:45

can't cope with it, know that you have

00:21:45 --> 00:21:46

the strength

00:21:46 --> 00:21:48

and you can find that strength.

00:21:49 --> 00:21:51

Right? It is inside of you. It is

00:21:51 --> 00:21:53

there, but perhaps it's a matter of, you

00:21:53 --> 00:21:55

know, talking to someone who can help you

00:21:55 --> 00:21:57

harness that strength. Somebody who can help you

00:21:57 --> 00:22:00

think differently or approach your challenges in in

00:22:00 --> 00:22:02

in a perhaps a different way, who can

00:22:02 --> 00:22:04

help you, cope with that situation.

00:22:04 --> 00:22:06

And and about, you know, digging deep inside

00:22:06 --> 00:22:08

of us ourselves and finding that

00:22:08 --> 00:22:09

strength. Now Allah

00:22:09 --> 00:22:11

has also created us for a reason and

00:22:11 --> 00:22:12

a purpose.

00:22:12 --> 00:22:14

Every single one of us has a purpose.

00:22:14 --> 00:22:17

Allah does not create anything without purpose in

00:22:17 --> 00:22:19

vain. So every single one of us has

00:22:19 --> 00:22:21

a purpose, a noble purpose,

00:22:21 --> 00:22:23

a noble reason for which Allah subhanahu wa

00:22:23 --> 00:22:24

ta'ala has created us and it is for

00:22:24 --> 00:22:27

us to try to find that purpose and

00:22:27 --> 00:22:28

to live that purpose.

00:22:28 --> 00:22:30

And when we are faced with problems, you

00:22:30 --> 00:22:34

know, remind yourselves that this too shall pass

00:22:34 --> 00:22:36

as was famed famously said. And as Allah

00:22:37 --> 00:22:37

tells us,

00:22:39 --> 00:22:42

right, that with indeed with hardship come ease.

00:22:42 --> 00:22:44

Right? And you may not be able to

00:22:44 --> 00:22:45

see it now or you may not be

00:22:45 --> 00:22:48

able to see how, but believe that it

00:22:48 --> 00:22:50

will pass and there will be ease, Insha'Allah.

00:22:50 --> 00:22:53

So always you know, there's always reason to

00:22:53 --> 00:22:54

have hope,

00:22:54 --> 00:22:56

and not to give up. Now Allah subhanahu

00:22:56 --> 00:22:58

wa ta'ala does not demand perfection from us.

00:22:58 --> 00:23:00

Sometimes we are in this mistaken,

00:23:01 --> 00:23:03

belief that we are required to be perfect.

00:23:03 --> 00:23:05

And if we are not perfect in anything

00:23:05 --> 00:23:07

that we do, then that means that there

00:23:07 --> 00:23:08

is something wrong with us and that we

00:23:08 --> 00:23:10

have to, that, you know, that we are

00:23:10 --> 00:23:12

failures and that, you know, we we are

00:23:12 --> 00:23:13

not good for anything. Right? That's not the

00:23:13 --> 00:23:15

case because Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala does not

00:23:15 --> 00:23:17

even demand perfection from us because Allah has

00:23:17 --> 00:23:18

created us and he knows that he has

00:23:18 --> 00:23:19

created us

00:23:20 --> 00:23:22

as imperfect beings in terms of our actions.

00:23:22 --> 00:23:24

Allah has created us perfectly, designed us perfectly,

00:23:24 --> 00:23:26

but we, in our actions,

00:23:26 --> 00:23:28

are imperfect beings.

00:23:28 --> 00:23:31

So our job is, you know, try your

00:23:31 --> 00:23:32

reasonable best

00:23:32 --> 00:23:33

sincerely

00:23:33 --> 00:23:36

and keep seeking his assistance and mercy and

00:23:36 --> 00:23:36

forgiveness.

00:23:37 --> 00:23:39

And, misha'Allah, the help will come

00:23:39 --> 00:23:42

when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decides. Right? But

00:23:42 --> 00:23:44

feeling down and feeling that I'm not good

00:23:44 --> 00:23:46

for anything, even in deen, sometimes it happens

00:23:46 --> 00:23:48

in religion. Person feels that there's all this

00:23:48 --> 00:23:49

required and I'm not able to do it.

00:23:49 --> 00:23:51

I'm good for nothing, and it starts, you

00:23:51 --> 00:23:53

know, going down. Right? But Allah subhanahu wa

00:23:53 --> 00:23:55

ta'ala does not expect perfection. Right? He expects

00:23:55 --> 00:23:57

you to try your best, your reasonable best,

00:23:57 --> 00:23:59

and turn to him in humility and with

00:23:59 --> 00:23:59

sincerity,

00:23:59 --> 00:24:02

seeking his mercy and forgiveness. But it is

00:24:02 --> 00:24:04

possible, my brothers and sisters, that a person

00:24:04 --> 00:24:06

still feels that there is no way out,

00:24:06 --> 00:24:08

that still has a calamity that is so

00:24:08 --> 00:24:10

used that they're they're just not able to

00:24:10 --> 00:24:10

process it.

00:24:11 --> 00:24:13

And they feel like, you know, they they

00:24:13 --> 00:24:14

they want to leave this zinnia. They wanna

00:24:14 --> 00:24:16

leave this world because they can no longer

00:24:16 --> 00:24:17

handle it. So the prophet

00:24:18 --> 00:24:21

has addressed that because he said,

00:24:24 --> 00:24:27

that none of you should wish for death

00:24:27 --> 00:24:29

due to a calamity that has afflicted him.

00:24:32 --> 00:24:34

That yet if he must do something. Okay?

00:24:34 --> 00:24:36

So first of all, you should not wish

00:24:36 --> 00:24:39

for death because of circumstances that you're facing.

00:24:39 --> 00:24:41

However, if you feel like you must do

00:24:41 --> 00:24:43

something and there's nothing that you can do

00:24:43 --> 00:24:44

and you feel like there's no way out,

00:24:44 --> 00:24:46

you need to do something about it.

00:24:47 --> 00:24:48

Let him say,

00:24:52 --> 00:24:54

oh, make this dua that, oh, Allah, keep

00:24:54 --> 00:24:56

me alive for as long as life

00:24:56 --> 00:24:58

so long as life is good for me.

00:25:01 --> 00:25:03

And cause me to die if death is

00:25:03 --> 00:25:06

better for me. K. So perhaps a person

00:25:06 --> 00:25:07

thinks that it is better for them to

00:25:07 --> 00:25:10

die, but maybe it's not. Maybe it will,

00:25:10 --> 00:25:12

you know, be the source of,

00:25:12 --> 00:25:14

more hardships and perhaps, you know, if they

00:25:14 --> 00:25:15

were continuing to to live,

00:25:16 --> 00:25:16

Allah

00:25:16 --> 00:25:18

will bless them in some way or they

00:25:18 --> 00:25:19

will do an act for which, you know,

00:25:19 --> 00:25:21

that that will be good for them, in

00:25:21 --> 00:25:23

in the long run. So, you know, never

00:25:23 --> 00:25:25

assume what is good for you. Ask Allah

00:25:25 --> 00:25:26

subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:25:34 --> 00:25:36

Also important to reconsider

00:25:37 --> 00:25:39

how it is also important to reconsider how

00:25:39 --> 00:25:40

we treat others.

00:25:41 --> 00:25:42

And so right now, we've been talking about

00:25:42 --> 00:25:44

people who are struggling, you know, who are

00:25:44 --> 00:25:46

struggling with such thoughts, struggling with problems and

00:25:46 --> 00:25:48

challenges. It's also important to reconsider how we

00:25:48 --> 00:25:49

treat others,

00:25:50 --> 00:25:51

you know, because sometimes we get into disputes,

00:25:51 --> 00:25:54

we get into arguments, we get into situations.

00:25:55 --> 00:25:58

Pushing a person to the point of emotional

00:25:58 --> 00:25:59

overload can be very dangerous.

00:26:00 --> 00:26:03

Right? You know, it can be difficult, but

00:26:03 --> 00:26:05

when you are having a dispute, a struggle,

00:26:05 --> 00:26:08

a challenge, whether it's family, you know, spouse,

00:26:08 --> 00:26:10

child, youth, whoever it is, parents try to

00:26:10 --> 00:26:12

be balanced in criticism and disagreement.

00:26:13 --> 00:26:15

Right? And especially especially important for spouses and

00:26:15 --> 00:26:18

parents. Don't put so much pressure on a

00:26:18 --> 00:26:20

spouse or a child that they give up

00:26:20 --> 00:26:20

permanently,

00:26:21 --> 00:26:22

that they feel like there is no hope

00:26:22 --> 00:26:24

and they just decide to give up.

00:26:25 --> 00:26:28

And if you feel such thoughts or you

00:26:28 --> 00:26:31

know someone who is contemplating such actions, such

00:26:31 --> 00:26:34

as anger doing their lives, then you need

00:26:34 --> 00:26:36

to get help and know that help is

00:26:36 --> 00:26:37

available.

00:26:37 --> 00:26:39

Right? There are people you can talk to,

00:26:39 --> 00:26:40

and it's not shameful

00:26:40 --> 00:26:41

to seek help. You know, one of the

00:26:41 --> 00:26:43

theories why rates are so high and suicide

00:26:43 --> 00:26:45

rates are so high for men is because

00:26:45 --> 00:26:47

of the theory is toxic masculinity,

00:26:48 --> 00:26:49

which prevents

00:26:49 --> 00:26:51

or, you know, looks at seeking help as

00:26:51 --> 00:26:52

being shameful.

00:26:52 --> 00:26:54

Right? So men generally, you know, that is

00:26:54 --> 00:26:57

seen do not wanna seek help. Right? Because

00:26:57 --> 00:26:59

they see that it has been something shameful.

00:26:59 --> 00:27:00

And the reality is that it's not shameful

00:27:00 --> 00:27:02

to seek help. It's not shameful to go

00:27:02 --> 00:27:04

to someone that you trust or that you

00:27:04 --> 00:27:05

can trust and tell them that, you know,

00:27:05 --> 00:27:07

you are having a struggle and you really

00:27:07 --> 00:27:09

don't know how to deal with the situation.

00:27:09 --> 00:27:11

Now sometimes even talking talking it out instead

00:27:11 --> 00:27:13

of bottling up inside, just talking to someone

00:27:13 --> 00:27:16

can actually help a person feel better and

00:27:16 --> 00:27:17

think clearly.

00:27:17 --> 00:27:19

Now it is not always possible to fully

00:27:19 --> 00:27:20

resolve

00:27:20 --> 00:27:22

another person's challenges or problems.

00:27:23 --> 00:27:24

Right? Sometimes you will be faced with your

00:27:24 --> 00:27:26

friends, family members, and they're facing such challenges

00:27:26 --> 00:27:27

and struggles

00:27:27 --> 00:27:29

that you're not able to resolve it. There

00:27:29 --> 00:27:31

you know, you, yourself, can't even find, you

00:27:31 --> 00:27:32

know, a way out.

00:27:32 --> 00:27:34

But perhaps, you know, we can give that

00:27:34 --> 00:27:37

person some time. Perhaps we can give them

00:27:37 --> 00:27:38

some words of encouragement.

00:27:38 --> 00:27:40

You know, perhaps we can share some, you

00:27:40 --> 00:27:42

know, show some care and kindness,

00:27:43 --> 00:27:45

to that person and, of course, give them

00:27:45 --> 00:27:47

dua and even a smile. Right? Like, all

00:27:47 --> 00:27:49

of these things can help you know, they

00:27:49 --> 00:27:51

seem like they're small, but they can help

00:27:51 --> 00:27:53

bring light to a person who is struggling

00:27:53 --> 00:27:55

and give them hope and help them get

00:27:55 --> 00:27:57

through just one more day.

00:27:57 --> 00:27:59

Right? I've heard this firsthand from people.

00:28:00 --> 00:28:00

Right?

00:28:01 --> 00:28:03

So don't underestimate the the the impact of

00:28:03 --> 00:28:03

positivity,

00:28:04 --> 00:28:05

the impact of goodness and kindness,

00:28:06 --> 00:28:08

because you may actually be helping, you know,

00:28:08 --> 00:28:09

a a person,

00:28:10 --> 00:28:12

you know, not to go to to that

00:28:12 --> 00:28:14

extent where they end up taking their own

00:28:14 --> 00:28:16

lives or doing something drastic. As the prophet

00:28:17 --> 00:28:18

said,

00:28:22 --> 00:28:24

Right? That do not belittle any good deed.

00:28:24 --> 00:28:26

Even your meeting your brother with a cheerful

00:28:26 --> 00:28:26

face.

00:28:27 --> 00:28:29

Right? Simple things can can make a difference

00:28:29 --> 00:28:31

in a person's life. You may think it's

00:28:31 --> 00:28:32

not a big a big deal, but, you

00:28:32 --> 00:28:33

know,

00:28:33 --> 00:28:35

somebody is feeling really depressed, feeling really down.

00:28:35 --> 00:28:37

They're having some subtle thoughts, and then, you

00:28:37 --> 00:28:39

know, they go somewhere and someone opens the

00:28:39 --> 00:28:41

door for them and says good morning.

00:28:42 --> 00:28:43

That's it. You know, we come here. Somebody

00:28:43 --> 00:28:45

says salam and just ask them how are

00:28:45 --> 00:28:46

they doing and spend the moment with them.

00:28:46 --> 00:28:48

Give someone a smile. Said that it's, you

00:28:48 --> 00:28:49

know, it's nice to see you. Oh, I've

00:28:49 --> 00:28:51

been missing you. You know, little things can

00:28:51 --> 00:28:54

actually help a person, you know, can completely

00:28:54 --> 00:28:55

change their outlook.

00:28:56 --> 00:28:58

Maybe not permanently, but at least temporarily for

00:28:58 --> 00:29:00

that day and help them through their struggle.

00:29:00 --> 00:29:02

Now if someone you know is talking about

00:29:02 --> 00:29:03

they're taking their whole life

00:29:04 --> 00:29:06

and they have the means and they have

00:29:06 --> 00:29:08

a plan to do so, because it's not

00:29:08 --> 00:29:10

just talk, like, you know, they have the

00:29:10 --> 00:29:11

means, they've planned it out,

00:29:11 --> 00:29:13

and they're, you know, they're they're they're, like,

00:29:13 --> 00:29:14

you know, in in

00:29:15 --> 00:29:17

they're, you know, very much ahead in terms

00:29:17 --> 00:29:19

of, planning to have it planned out, then

00:29:19 --> 00:29:22

it's time to get them professional help. Right?

00:29:22 --> 00:29:23

Either, you know, take them to a hospital,

00:29:23 --> 00:29:25

call the suicide hotline, you know, call the

00:29:25 --> 00:29:27

ambulance, you do something. If you feel like

00:29:27 --> 00:29:30

someone is really at the cusp of of

00:29:30 --> 00:29:32

committing that act, then it's it's it's really,

00:29:32 --> 00:29:34

really important then to get them help.

00:29:36 --> 00:29:38

And generally, when dealing with someone, you know,

00:29:38 --> 00:29:39

who is in this situation, tell them that

00:29:39 --> 00:29:41

you care about them. You know, don't be

00:29:41 --> 00:29:43

judgmental and don't try to scare them. You

00:29:43 --> 00:29:44

know, a lot of times we try to

00:29:44 --> 00:29:45

help them, we do the opposite.

00:29:45 --> 00:29:47

Like, oh, why are you feeling like this?

00:29:47 --> 00:29:48

Oh, you have so much to be very

00:29:48 --> 00:29:49

grateful for.

00:29:49 --> 00:29:50

You know,

00:29:50 --> 00:29:52

you shouldn't be thinking this way and actually,

00:29:52 --> 00:29:53

you know, you're trying to make them feel

00:29:53 --> 00:29:55

better but in in in effect, you actually

00:29:55 --> 00:29:56

make them feel worse. Okay? So don't be

00:29:56 --> 00:29:58

judgmental. Don't try to scare them,

00:29:59 --> 00:30:00

and make them feel bad, but instead try

00:30:00 --> 00:30:01

to be supportive.

00:30:01 --> 00:30:04

Now tell them that you, others, their family

00:30:04 --> 00:30:06

members, you know, need them to be around.

00:30:06 --> 00:30:08

Continue to make dua for them and tell

00:30:08 --> 00:30:09

them that. Right? Tell them I'm making dua

00:30:09 --> 00:30:12

for you, and keep checking in with them

00:30:12 --> 00:30:14

as much as possible. Ask Allah

00:30:14 --> 00:30:17

to grant ease and relief, to everyone who

00:30:17 --> 00:30:19

is struggling with any types of challenges.

00:30:44 --> 00:30:46

Oh, Allah, we thank you and we praise

00:30:46 --> 00:30:47

you for all of your blessings.

00:30:48 --> 00:30:49

Oh, Allah, we thank you for the ease

00:30:49 --> 00:30:51

and the comfort that you have blessed us

00:30:51 --> 00:30:51

with.

00:30:52 --> 00:30:54

Oh, Allah, please grant relief to all of

00:30:54 --> 00:30:56

those who are experiencing distress,

00:30:56 --> 00:30:57

anxiety,

00:30:57 --> 00:30:59

grief, and depression, and any other type of

00:30:59 --> 00:31:02

suffering. Oh, Allah, please grant them relief and

00:31:02 --> 00:31:03

grant replace

00:31:03 --> 00:31:06

their their their feelings with happiness and easy

00:31:06 --> 00:31:06

and peace.

00:31:07 --> 00:31:09

Oh, Allah, please remove the trials and hardships

00:31:10 --> 00:31:11

from the lives of all of our brothers

00:31:11 --> 00:31:12

and sisters.

00:31:12 --> 00:31:14

Oh, Allah, whether they're in our families, our

00:31:14 --> 00:31:17

friends, or Allah, our social circle, our community,

00:31:18 --> 00:31:20

or anywhere around the world. Oh, Allah, please

00:31:20 --> 00:31:22

remove all of the trials and hardships.

00:31:23 --> 00:31:25

Oh, Allah, please grant them strength to succeed.

00:31:25 --> 00:31:27

Oh, Allah, please grant them and all of

00:31:27 --> 00:31:27

us

00:31:28 --> 00:31:29

to succeed through all else that have been

00:31:29 --> 00:31:30

decided,

00:31:30 --> 00:31:32

for us and for them. Oh,

00:31:32 --> 00:31:35

Allah, please protect our children. Oh, Allah, please

00:31:35 --> 00:31:37

protect our youth from all types of evils

00:31:37 --> 00:31:37

and harms.

00:31:38 --> 00:31:40

Oh, Allah, especially during this pandemic, please protect

00:31:40 --> 00:31:42

our children, our youth, our teachers, all of

00:31:42 --> 00:31:44

those who work in schools, all of those

00:31:44 --> 00:31:46

who are working in the hospitals, frontline workers,

00:31:47 --> 00:31:48

and all of us from all types of

00:31:48 --> 00:31:49

harms and hardships.

00:31:50 --> 00:31:52

Oh, Allah, please envelope us in your unseen

00:31:52 --> 00:31:53

protection.

00:31:54 --> 00:31:56

Oh, Oh, Allah, please cure all of those

00:31:56 --> 00:31:57

who are ill, who are facing hardship and

00:31:57 --> 00:32:00

struggles with regards to their health. Oh, Allah,

00:32:00 --> 00:32:01

our elder sister who is in pain and

00:32:01 --> 00:32:03

weakness. Oh, Allah, our brother and sister who

00:32:03 --> 00:32:05

are living with long term pain and injuries

00:32:05 --> 00:32:07

and struggles. Oh, Allah, our brother and sister

00:32:07 --> 00:32:10

who have recently had major surgeries. Our elder

00:32:10 --> 00:32:12

pioneers in the city, in our communities who

00:32:12 --> 00:32:14

are ill or suffering from cancer and other

00:32:14 --> 00:32:16

illnesses, oh, Allah, all of those who are

00:32:16 --> 00:32:18

ill, who are injured, oh, Allah, you are

00:32:18 --> 00:32:20

the cure and the healer. Oh, Allah, please

00:32:20 --> 00:32:22

grant them all a speedy and complete recovery

00:32:22 --> 00:32:23

and back in health.

00:32:24 --> 00:32:25

Oh, Allah, please grant relief to all of

00:32:25 --> 00:32:27

our brothers and sisters all around the world,

00:32:27 --> 00:32:29

especially those who have, you know, who have

00:32:29 --> 00:32:32

suffered or suffering from, through recent tragedies,

00:32:33 --> 00:32:35

such as in Lebanon, in Sudan, in Pakistan,

00:32:35 --> 00:32:37

and many other places. Allah, please remove their

00:32:37 --> 00:32:39

pain and repair their losses.

00:36:16 --> 00:36:18

Those who are registered for, Friday prayers, please

00:36:18 --> 00:36:20

come. That's your allotted.

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