Sikander Hashmi – Positive Engagement Your Childs School KMA Friday Message
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AI: Transcript ©
Respected elders, dear brothers and sisters, my
young
friends,
Allah has blessed us with innumerable
blessings and gifts.
And indeed, we are called upon by Allah
to be grateful for all of his blessings.
So we say,
and we thank Allah
with our hearts, our words,
and our actions. My brothers and sisters,
as we discussed last week, there are
among the many blessings that we enjoy, alhamdulillah,
is, of course, the peace and security that
we enjoy in this country and in this
land. And
one of the other blessings that we enjoy,
is the ability
to have
an education
and to have schools
and an education system
that is probably better in many ways in
terms of resources
and in terms of opportunities
compared to many parts of the world.
And among the blessings is the fact that
even though
we are a very small minority in this
country, so out of, you know, over 36,
37,000,000
people, we are talking about
1.8 or 1,900,000
Muslims. So, you know, about 3%, 3 to
4% of the population.
But still, there
is recognition
of the rights of Muslim students, Alhamdulillah.
Not just students but also workers
to be able to practice your religion, to
be able to have space and time to
offer salah, to be able to get time
off for jum'ah for schools to be for
students to be able to establish rahul jum'ah
in schools
and I, I say often and I'll say
it again. I'm incredibly,
proud of
our young people who,
in the current environment,
in the public schools are still
maintaining their deen, maintaining their Muslim identity.
They are not ashamed
to call themselves Muslim. They are not affair,
afraid to offer salah and to to fast
and to practice the the deen of Allah
and
when I am there sometimes in schools, they
are not ashamed to come forward and to
give salaam
and they are essentially
trying their best to
practice
their, their deen to practice the deen of
Allah
in the opportunities and the environment that has
been provided to them. And this goes on
to universities. So if you look at universities
and colleges,
the Muslim Students Associations are alive and they
are vibrant and Muslim students are gathering and
they are practicing the deen. They are doing
the work of Dawah and
There is a lot of good that we
see, and I want to always acknowledge that
and encourage
our young people, our boys and girls, to
continue forward on that path with steadfastness, and
we ask Allah
to grant them istakamah and to protect them
as they continue forward.
My brothers and sisters,
we know
that
the
system, the education system, the public school system,
and generally, the education system here, this is
not an Islamic school system.
So when you send your child or when
when Muslim students go
into public schools or public educational,
facilities and the system, they know and we
know that they are not going into an
Islamic system. When they go to the school,
they are not going to the Masjid. When
they go to the university or to college,
they are not going into an institution that
is run on Islamic principles and based on
Islamic values.
And
for the longest of times, challenges have existed
with regards to what is morally acceptable in
Islam
versus what is acceptable
in public and especially in in public education.
So, of course, because we have our beliefs
and values, which are based on the teachings
of Allah and its messenger
and
whereas the public system is not based on
that, we know naturally that there will be
they have been and there will continue to
be instances
where there are some challenge challenges in that
regard. Public
schools, my brothers and sisters, are a reflection
of society.
So as
society
faces challenges
and degenerates
morally,
those same challenges and the same degeneration
is reflected to some extent in the public
school system as well. What is different though
is that previously,
that which was
prohibited by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and the
messenger
the
things which were seen as being morally objectionable
or seen as being wrong,
they wouldn't be actively promoted generally
to the exclusion of all other views,
but this is happening today.
Okay? So
what I mean by that is in the
past and even now on a number of
issues,
there was and there is recognition
in the schools
and in society in general that there are
different views and different beliefs on a matter.
Right? So, for example, if you look at
religious views, there was a recognition. There is
a recognition that not everyone is gonna have
the same religious beliefs
and that, you know, people will differ in
terms of their belief in god, in spirituality,
and in terms of the guidelines and the
rules and regulations of the religion. Right? This
is something which is accepted. It is recognized
that there will be different dietary restrictions. So
some people will eat certain things and other
people will not eat certain things. It is
understood and accepted that there will be differences
or there may be differences when it comes
to dress. So some people will dress in
certain ways and others will not.
So point is that there has been and
there is a recognition
with regards to
generally
many matters that there are different views and
there is acceptability
of that diversity of views, which is supposed
to be the hallmark of a a a
secular system or a liberal democracy.
However,
you know, what we are seeing is that
today, that has changed a bit.
That approach has changed,
and now certain views and beliefs
are being promoted and being taught to children
as being the only way
to approach a situation,
the only way to deal with certain circumstances
to the exclusion
of all others.
Now by law in Ontario, according to the
Education Act of Ontario,
school boards are required
to create a safe and inclusive environment
for all groups
that are present in the school system and
that are present in society,
including those that have beliefs and values
that don't align with ours.
K? So this is required
by law according to the Education Act of
Ontario.
This means that all groups
will be recognized
and will be acknowledged in the public school
system,
and all students
will be taught about these groups
with the intention or the objective of countering
hate and stereotypes.
Now we happen to be one of those
groups as well. So that means that students
who are not Muslim,
who don't believe in Islam,
will learn about Muslims.
They will learn about our beliefs and our
practices,
and perhaps they will also be given the
opportunity or they may be asked to celebrate
in some of our celeb to sell it
participate, rather, in some of our celebrations
as well.
However, the same will also be expected then
of us in return as well. In order
to from the school's perspective or from the
government's perspective, in order to promote,
or foster harmony and kindness
between people of all faiths and backgrounds because
we live in incredibly
diverse societies.
So their objective
that they claim is to bring everyone together
and to foster a sense of togetherness and
harmony so that everyone is able to live
peacefully together in harmony with kindness and respect.
Of course, hate and bullying
against anyone
is wrong,
and we must make sure, especially as parents,
that we stand against it and we teach
our children about it. You see, one of
the challenges is that when we are concerned
about an issue or when we are concerned
about certain practices and certain beliefs, and rightfully
so, and, it is actually
very
encouraging and very inspiring
to see the level of concern amongst the
Muslim parents.
The fact that,
you know, we are not,
oblivious to what is happening,
and we have this concern inside of our
hearts
that we do care about our children, and
we do care about our values, and we
do care about our beliefs. And when we
see something which is objectionable,
it creates a concern inside of us. So
this is something which is very commendable, and
this is something which is very encouraging,
With that,
we must realize that our children are not
equipped, especially young children, are not equipped
to navigate these issues and to understand these
challenges in the way that we may be
able to understand.
And when we express a lot of concern
or perhaps a lot of anxiety in front
of our children, they may not know how
to channel that. And it may come out
in ways which is not healthy because they
are not equipped to cope with it. Therefore,
it is important for us that when we
talk about these challenges and are,
you know, expressing concern about these challenges and
our children are aware of it, that we
also explain to them what is not appropriate
and what we do not want them to
do. So we do not want them to
express hate against any people. We do not
want them to bully anyone because this is
not part of the teachings of our religion,
first of all. And secondly, it does not
help the situation. It actually makes it makes
it worse. Right? It complicates the situation more.
So this is a conversation that is important
for us to have with our children to
ensure that they are able to channel their
emotions or they are able to channel whatever
they are hearing in a positive way or
at least not in a negative way.
That being said, it is not unreasonable
for you as parents
to expect
that a secular school board will not take
positions
to promote certain set of values and beliefs
over others
because the whole point,
by definition, of being secular
is to have a separation
between
belief values and systems
and the running of government or the running
of a system. So by definition, the school
board is supposed to be neutral
when it comes to matters
of personal beliefs and values.
It's one thing
to recognize a group,
right, and to acknowledge that this group exists
and they have their values and they have
their beliefs and they have their celebrations
just like Muslims are recognized,
but it's another
to promote certain values and beliefs to the
exclusion of all other points of view.
And as such, the public school system needs
to acknowledge
different views on such matters
and give students
the option to not actively participate in activities
that they and their families believe are incompatible
with their sincerely had beliefs.
Right? So there is an important balance here
and an important distinction here that, yes, it
is important
to ensure that there is no hate or
bullying against anyone. It is important
to a certain degree to foster harmony and
understanding,
but at the same time, it is not
appropriate
to promote and impose certain values and beliefs
and say that there is no room to
disagree in this and that you must believe
in this. And if you do not believe
in believe in this, essentially, you will be
gaslighted. Right? So that approach is incorrect.
Now,
we do now have a Muslim leaders working
group
that is active now and is liaising with
the school board here in Ottawa on navigating
these challenges.
We must recognize that there are good people
who want to do the right thing,
and this is a challenging situation.
So patients will be required, and it is
not expected to be a quick process. They
will be we are not expecting to see
any results overnight.
And on that point, I also want to
highlight the fact that there is
great
disappointment
amongst many teachers
who felt that they were going out of
their way to be inclusive and to be
supportive
of different groups in their schools, including Muslims.
And they really tried, genuinely tried, to foster
an in environment of inclusivity
and that was positive and that, you know,
which everyone was getting along.
And they feel from their perspective
that that has not worked
and that their efforts have perhaps gone to
waste and their efforts are not being reciprocated.
We may not agree or you may not
agree with that feeling of frustration or that
position, but it's important to recognize that that
there are
many good people, including many teachers
and principals
and decision makers who have actively
gone out of their way and tried
to
create an environment where Muslim students were welcomed,
where, for example, Ramadan and Eid celebrations were
recognized,
where they tried to deal with Islamophobia, and
they tried to actively go out of the
way in giving space for salah and encouraging
Muslim students to practice their faith.
So in their view, they really tried their
best,
but they feel that this effort is not
recognized and is not being reciprocated.
So this is from their perspective, and it
is important
to recognize goodness
where people have made good efforts and are
trying to do the right thing. And it
is important along with recognition,
to continue to encourage them to do that
as well. Now, of course,
you know, this feeling,
that they're they're having is, perhaps, you know,
due to,
misunderstanding
or perhaps,
you know, they tried from their perspective to
do what they felt was best,
but maybe, you know, there was some lacking
on our part in terms of, you know,
explaining where we stand and so on and
so forth. So there could be more details
about that. But it's just important to recognize
that there is a feeling of frustration
amongst teachers that may be coming out in
certain ways. So this is an opportunity for
us
to take a step back, especially as parents,
and acknowledge
the good that we have seen
and use that then as an opportunity
to have healthy conversations
Now in the meantime, because I said that,
you know, this is not going to be
an issue that is going to be resolved
very, very quickly. In the meantime, and just
generally, parents do have a very important role
to play and especially,
with their children. And, of course, this applies
to you if you're a parent with children
who are, you know, in this age group
who are going to school. But even if
you don't, you know, maybe you have grandchildren
or maybe you will have children, inshallah, in
the future. So this is relevant for all
of us. So first of all, it is
incredibly important that we educate ourselves
on the detailed Islamic positions on these matters.
We must be grounded and have clarity in
terms of what we actually believe in and
what our position is, what the Islamic scholars
say, and what our deen teaches. Right? So,
for example, if a a a Muslim male
develops
intimate attraction to another male, what should they
do about it?
And likewise, if that happens to a female,
what should they do, and and how should
they deal with that?
How about if someone actually feels
that they are of the wrong gender,
that they were
born with or or be or they were
assigned the wrong gender. Such challenges
do
exist, and people do become lost and confused
when they don't have clarity, which is grounded
in authentic teachings.
And this includes Muslims as well, young
and old. These are not issues
that we are immune to as a community.
K? These issues and such challenges
do exist in our communities
with individuals in our communities, including young people.
So we must learn to have
clarity
so that we are able to articulate
balanced and well grounded positions on these matters,
especially with our children.
Because if your child is learning about these
things at school
and you don't know
what Islam actually says in detail about these
things,
you will not be able to explain to
your children, and you will not be able
to connect with them in a matter that
actually
makes sense to them. So that's number 1.
Number 2, my brothers and sisters,
is the importance of developing a strong bond
with your child,
to have a strong relationship with your child.
And with so many challenges that we see,
at the core of it is the strength
of the relationship that parents have with their
child.
So many challenges can be averted
and can be can be,
dealt with much easily
if there is a strong bond between the
parents and the child. So developing a strong
bond with your child and telling them that
they if if they ever face such challenges,
that they should come and tell you first.
It may not be something that you want
to hear. It may not be something that
you want to deal with,
but
you're much better off having that solid relationship
with them and having your child trust you
to the point that they're comfortable
to come and share with you their challenges.
But you must promise that you are not
going to overreact,
and you are not going to panic and
that there will be no drama
if this happens.
Your child must trust you and feel safe.
Otherwise, your situation is going to become a
lot more challenging.
So it's it's much better off that you
have a strong bond with your child, that
your child feels comfortable to come to you
and share their challenges and their struggles. Number
3, make your children
comfortable
by loving them and caring for them and
by being there for them, by being involved
in their lives in a positive way.
Develop a good relationship
and encourage them to share with you anything
that they experience outside of the home,
regardless
of whether it is this matter or any
other matter. Because once your child is away
from home, you may never find out what
is happening. So developing that strong bond will
allow your child to feel comfortable
in sharing things with you.
Number 4,
develop a positive relationship with your child's teachers
and the school administration.
Be a positive presence in the school. Thank
them for good for their good efforts. Volunteer
in the schools and be engaged. Because at
the end of the day, when your child
goes into that classroom
and you're no longer there,
their interface is with their teacher,
and you do not have any control over
what happens inside that classroom.
So it is in your best interest
to have a positive
relationship with your child's teacher. The more understanding
you can build and the more,
you know, the the stronger of a of
of a connection that you have with them,
the easier it will be for you to
child to navigate challenges when they come.
And the poorer the relationship that you have
or or if you have no relationship with
your child's teacher,
then it will be incredibly difficult
to face and deal with challenges.
When you do have concerns, number 5,
raise them kindly in a balanced way.
You know, communicating with anger
in an emotional state
does not help.
Let me repeat
that once again.
Communicating
in a an emotional state, in a state
of anger
does not help your case.
So be calm,
be cool,
be collected,
be informed,
and be polite. And, of course, you can
be firm. So it's not to say that
you can't have your position. Of course, you
can have your position.
But be calm and cool and collected
and polite, and this will give you the
best chance of actually
getting your issue,
addressed in a positive way.
Finally, my brothers and sisters, I wanna say
I wanna reassure you that if you have
done your job
in giving good tarbia to your children
and you are trying your best and instilling
in them good Islamic
values
and you are connected to the community,
and they have a subculture that they are
a part of that is based on Islamic
values,
and you maintain a good strong relationship with
them and their school, then you will have
nothing to worry about.
Okay?
These are ongoing challenges.
Such challenges have existed in the past in
different ways, and they will continue to exist.
And they will not just exist in schools,
but they will exist in all of society
around the world.
Okay. So at the end of the day,
if you have done your homework and the
most important thing you can do, especially when
your children are young and they are in
their formative years, is to give them a
strong
Islamic
upbringing.
If you give them a good tarbia and
you try your best and you're engaged in
the community
and you give them a good environment as
much as possible, then
there's a very good chance that even though
they might have some bumps and, you know,
some ups and downs, in the end they
will be
fine. So this is what we can do
right now, and we can continue to do
for our children. And
will make it easy, and there is no
need to panic,
as long as we do our work and
our job. We have the famous hadith of
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
who related, and we've mentioned this before, of
course, many times.
The messenger of Allah, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
said that whoever amongst you sees evil, let
him change it with his hand.
And if he cannot do so, then with
his tongue. And if he cannot do so,
then with his heart, which is the weakest
level of faith. My brothers and sisters, this
hadith is a recognition.
The prophet
has recognized
that we will not always be able to
change that with which is objectionable
through our hands
or our works.
There will be situations
where we don't have the skill. We don't
have the strength. We don't have the opportunity.
Or perhaps doing anything will not actually result
in in in positivity,
but rather will cause more harm in the
big picture. There can be situations like that.
And the least we are encouraged to do
and instructed to do is to recognize
what is wrong as wrong with our hearts,
and this is also a form of confronting
evil.
This also is a form of confronting evil.
It is not a situation of helplessness.
Yes. It is a situation of the bare
minimum that our faith calls calls us to.
But at the same time, it is worth
something, and it is an action that we
can take.
In the end, we know and we believe
and we say,
Allah
is enough for us. Allah
is the best to protect us and the
best to stand for us
and to to, to represent us. Ask Allah
to continue to guide us and protect us.
We make lots of dua, and that is
something that we must continue to do inshallah.
We try our best and really for Allah
the rest. May Allah
allow us and our children and indeed all
people to see the truth as the truth
and to recognize what is wrong as what
is wrong. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect
us, our future generations,
and all of our future progeny until the
day of judgment. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
grant us relief and guidance out of all
such situations.