Sikander Hashmi – Meet & Uplift KMA Friday Message
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the impact of COVID-19 on people, including mental health and depression, and stress the importance of finding one's own values and socializing. They emphasize the need for everyone to be spirit-impacted by social interaction and finding one's own values. The speakers also emphasize the importance of being kind and gentle in interactions with others, being aware of one's behavior, and remaining silent. They recommend training oneself to address interactions and avoid violence, being uplifting and positive, and building friendships. The passing of sister Kim's father and long-time member of the family have also been mentioned.
AI: Summary ©
Able to see
and visit and meet more and more people
that we were not able to do
in the past 17 months.
To be able to
socialize
and see one another as we are able
to do now,
is a great blessing of Allah
Probably a blessing that we didn't realize was
actually a blessing.
Right? It's one of those things. When Allah
says,
Right? If you try to enumerate
and truly appreciate and count all the blessings
of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala, you would not
be able to do it. Who would have
thought that just merely being able to see
one another and shake hands was a blessing
of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala? But indeed it
was.
Now the extended lockdown
and the pandemic,
they haven't been easy
for many people. For most people, they have
been challenging. Right? Because almost everyone has felt
some impact
in some way.
Perhaps some more, some less,
but overall, everyone has gone through
some form of challenge or struggle.
And people may be struggling in different ways,
some ways that we are able to see,
others that we're not able to see. Right?
One of the impacts that the experts have
been talking about and that we are seeing,
and that is a reality, is the impact
on people's mental health.
Mentally, many people have struggled.
Right? Extended lockdowns, not being able to see
one another, some more than others. Others you
know, some people are able to manage. They're
okay by themselves.
You know? You go in the countryside and
you see houses, right, in the woods for
some brothers and sisters who come from other
countries and see this, like, it seems strange.
How do people live
in such woods and, you know, around animals
and in nature? But they're happy and they're
peaceful. Right? So some people, it's okay for
them. But others, it's been very difficult, especially
those who are who have very social and
active personalities. Right? So people have been suffering
from depression.
Those who already have
been struggling with depression, it got even worse,
perhaps.
So even now when things are opening up,
they may not want to go and meet
people. They may not want to go outside.
Right? You may have family members like that.
You know? It might be,
you know, a child, a teenager,
somebody you know? So people are re responding
and reacting in different ways.
They're not. They can't find the energy or
the interest to to go out
and and and to meet other people.
Some may be having anxieties about meeting people.
Right? For example,
you know, especially if people have gone through
physical changes in the last 17, 18 months,
2 years.
Right? Perhaps people were not able to control
their weight, and they gained a lot of
weight because they were stuck at home and
they were not able to go to work
or, you know, different reasons.
And maybe they're anxious or they're ashamed,
right, of of of beating people.
Or perhaps people are deterred
about from,
you know,
work and the cost associated with hosting people
and having people over because maybe they're not,
you know, used to working and hosting
or maybe they're not able to afford it.
Right? Especially if they have gone through financial
difficulty.
Now we know, my brothers and sisters, that
Allah
has created us, human beings,
as social beings.
Allah
has created us as
social beings.
Right? How do we know that? Well, Allah
has put us into families.
Allah
has put us into communities.
The prophet
has encouraged us to remain with the community,
to be paired up with other believers, not
to be alone.
Right? All of these things that we are
encouraged
to do. Right? The virtue of salah with
jama'ah. Right? Another clear example
of the,
the the virtue of coming together. Right? Especially
when it comes toward regarding the worship of
Allah
Now under normal circumstances,
this is something that
we need.
Socialization is something that under normal circumstances, we
need. And in fact, as believers, we are
encouraged.
Circumstances we need and in fact, as believers,
we are encouraged. It's not just a
need,
but he has believers. We are encouraged to
be sociable, the prophet
said. That.
And then one narration goes on and
says,
And the scholarly translation
that conveys
the the the spirit
of this hadith
would be that the believer
is likable.
The believer
is likable, is
easily approachable,
and is pleasant when approaching others.
And there is no good
in one who is difficult to approach
and is harsh with others.
And the best of people are those who
are most beneficial to people.
So here the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam is
indicating to us that as believers,
we should be people who are
sociable and who have, you know, pleasant and
positive interactions with others, and
others also have the same with us
as well. Now when people are not well,
when people are not doing well, or they
have a reason
that, you know, prevents them from being sociable,
then that is the exception.
That is the exception. Because what I don't
want is someone who is suffering from depression,
who is not able to meet others to
start feeling even worse now and saying, well,
I can't be a good Muslim because I'm
not able to meet with others.
Right? So that's not the point. The point
is is that under normal circumstances, when everything
is well,
this is something that should be a part
of who we are to be able to
interact with others positively, kindly
kindly, nicely,
and others also
you know, when they interact with us, they
also have the same experience.
Now we find a number of examples of
this in the teachings of the messenger of
Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, of being sociable
and of being
people who are uplifting.
Right? So for example,
among the rights
of a Muslim
upon another
is to accept their invitations.
The prophet
said that this is one of the rights
of the Muslim upon the other Muslims.
Right? That the invitation be
accepted.
Now scholars have given details. Right? So which
type of invitations are obligatory to accept? Which
type of invitations are recommended to accept? You
know, what conditions are there? Are there situations
when an invitation should not be
accepted? Right? When it applies when it doesn't
apply. So there are details around that, and
I'm not going to go into the details.
But again,
the teaching being that there is value
and being sociable
being social with others, especially other believers.
So the default is to accept
The invitation.
The default is to accept the invitation
that is given
by a believer towards another.
Now when we meet someone,
the field
is wide open
as to which
direction
the conversation is going to flow.
When we meet someone
The field is open as to which direction
we're going to take this this conversation in.
It could turn into a meeting into a
discussion,
which is pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Or it could turn into a discussion
and a meeting, which is displeasing to Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala. It is our choice to
make. What we choose to talk about. How
we choose to interact. You the type of
things that we say, the type of thoughts
we have about the other person. Right? All
of those things
all of those things
will dictate
whether that interaction is one which is pleasing
to Allah
or an interaction which is displeasing to Allah
Our aim should be, my brothers and sisters,
to make each meeting
each meeting
as pleasing
to Allah
and as positive as possible.
Our goal should be that every time we
meet someone, whether you're having a barbecue at
Andrew Hayden Park, whether you're having someone come
over to your house, whether you're meeting someone
just saying salaam on the street, whatever the
case may be, you're seeing them at the
masjid, whatever the case may be, any interaction
that we have, we want to ensure that
interaction is the most pleasing to Allah
number 1, and secondly, that it is as
positive as possible. So that in each meeting
that we have with another person, what are
we trying to do? We are trying to
uplift others.
We are trying to
uplift others. We're not trying to put people
down, and we're not even trying to leave
them where they are in the same state,
but we're rather trying to aim for ihsan,
and we're trying to uplift them and help
them,
you know, in some way which is positive.
The prophet said
that that verily Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
kind. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is kind. Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala is gentle. He loves kindness.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is and he loves
rifft.
That he rewards
for kindness
what is not granted for harshness,
and he does not reward anything else like
it. So kindness
rift in the eyes in the sight of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is something which is
extremely valuable, and the reward for it is
something which is,
which is very great, and it is not
equal to being harsh.
Because when we have an interaction with someone,
we have that option to be harsh towards
them. And then sometimes we may feel that
we have a reason to be harsh. And
perhaps in some cases,
there is a good reason to be harsh.
But in most cases, that, you know, that
should not be the standard. That should not
be the default. The default should be that
we are always trying to interact with people
and deal with situations, whatever it may be,
with kindness,
with gentleness because that is the way of
the messenger of Allah salallahu alayhi wasalam, and
that is what Allah
has encouraged us and what he he he
likes. Now we know the importance
of being kind of being gentle. Right? We
teach it to our children.
Right? Almost every parent teaches their children. Be
kind. Be gentle. Don't fight with your siblings.
You know, use don't be rude. You know,
news use nice words and all of that.
But when it comes to our interactions as
adults
We're not necessarily always fight, you know, following
that ourselves.
We're not always following what we are preaching.
So, yes, it is good to encourage our
Children to be kind and to be gentle
and not to be rough and not to
be rude and all of those things. That
is true. And children, you should follow your
parents when they advise you that. But as
parents as well, and this I start with
myself. May Allah
forgive us all that we need to be
more careful and more conscious about
how we say things and how we present
ourselves and deal with one another. So that
ideally we train ourselves. What do we do?
We train ourselves. And remember, a lot big
part of our deen is about training ourselves.
Right? It's about islah. It's about correcting ourselves,
our character, our nafs,
our heart.
So we train ourselves
to look at each interaction
to look at each interaction. And this is
from the sunnah of the prophet
to look at each interaction in each meeting
from a lens of compassion and kindness.
Every interaction looked at it from
a lens of compassion
and kindness.
So even when someone is not at their
best,
maybe you try to be kind to someone
and they are not towards you. They don't
reciprocate.
They're being aggressive. They're being passive aggressive. They're,
you know, they they they have some history.
They have some agenda. Whatever the case may
be,
try to find excuses of why they are
like that. Try to give them the benefit
of the doubt. I know this is easier
said than done. Yeah. But try to give
the benefit of the doubt. If you have
an issue, you know, and your children see
it, sometimes it happens between spouses.
Right? There's some dispute going on. There's a
separation. There's a divorce even. Okay?
Sometimes we find that there are some parents
who will fill the ears of the children
regarding the other parent, even things which are
not necessary for the children to know or
sometimes even made up.
Lies, unfortunately.
K. But then there are also parents who
even in that situation,
even though they have disagreements with one another
and they may be, you know, breaking up
or whatever,
they still say good about the other parent.
He set a good example. They say that,
okay. Yes. We have some baba and mama
have some differences, and we haven't gotten along.
But your baba your mama is still a
good person. They have misunderstood,
or they have some challenge that they're dealing
with. So they try to encourage their children
to still be good. So that is the
type of example that we want to have
and set, and we want to try to
find excuses for people even when they are
having interactions with us, which are not very
positive.
Now sometimes it may be difficult to find
something good to say.
And in that case, what are we taught
to do?
Remain silent.
Remaining silent.
Sukhut remaining silent is better than saying something
which is negative. As the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam has told us,
Let the one who believes in Allah and
the last day to speak good or remain
silent.
Right? There's value in remaining silent where sometimes
you have to speak,
but not in every situation.
If there's nothing good that you can say,
nothing good that's gonna help the person that's
gonna improve the situation, you can't compliment their
you know, just look at it. You remain
silent. You don't have to say something negative.
Now an example of uplifting others can be
found
in the teachings regarding visiting other visiting the
sick.
The prophet
has also told us, yeah, one of the
other rights is to visit your brother, your
sister when they are sick. Is the narration
little bit of an issue with the chain
of narration, but nonetheless, it is for virtues,
so it is acceptable.
And it is backed up by other Hadith.
The prophet
said that when you enter upon a sick
person
and reassure him that he is going to
live, that does not change anything,
but it lifts his spirits.
When you visit someone who is sick,
don't be like, oh, what's your diagnosis?
Oh, it's so serious. Oh, how much time
do you have to live?
Right? It should be the other way around
where even if you know the situation is
dire. Right? What did the prophet tell us?
Right? Reportedly,
that even, you know, if
the person is sick,
you reassure him or her that he is
going to live or she is going to
live. It doesn't change anything. It's not gonna
change the qadr of Allah
Whatever Allah has will, it's gonna happen. But
what's the benefit? It lifts the person's spirits.
It makes them feel good. It gives them
some hope,
right, in those moments, in those difficult moments.
Right? So trying to uplift others and trying
to be kind towards others. And this is
supported by the meaning of of, of the
words of the prophet
said that when you visit, you should say,
Right? Don't worry. It is purification,
spiritual purification.
Right? So you're giving hope. You're giving encouragement
to look at the situation from another angle.
And we recite Surah Al Asr. Allah also
tells us right at the end
among the qualities of these people people who
are not going to be in loss in
this life.
Right? These are people who urge each other
upon the truth and each urge,
urge each other
regarding perseverance,
regarding patience. So again, meet one another, encourage
one another,
give hope, give support,
give
some good works that can make a person
feel good. Now the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam,
he sent
And he told him he gave him clear
instructions.
Make things easy and do not make things
difficult.
Give god tidings and do not repel people.
And cooperate with each other and do not
become
divided. Right? And the prophet
also said generally similar meaning that
make things easy for people. Do not make
a diff make things difficult for them.
And make them calm, meaning with glad tidings.
And do not repulse people. So when we
interact with people right? This is especially in
a leadership position, but generally as well. Right?
The meaning is general. When we meet one
another, when we talk, when we're in a
gathering,
always try to be positive and uplifting.
Not a person who is always spreading doom
and gloom and who's always negative. And when
people come and interact with them, they're always
you know, they're made to feel down even
if they were happy before. Now they're terrified
and they're sad and they're upset. That is
not the way of the prophet of Allah
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. Yes. There is a
time
for hope and fear. There is a time
for, you know, warnings.
But those are specific moments for, you know,
thought out for specific valid reasons. But generally,
a person should try to be uplifting and
try to be positive. So my dear brothers
and sisters, we learn from all of this
that number 1, it is good to be
sociable, to meet one another. That is something
that we should be open about and we
should be encouraging about. You know? As a
family, try to connect. I know not everyone
has relatives,
nearby. You know? You try to build some
friendships. Reach out to your neighbors. Try to
find opportunities to invite people or even to
get together. It doesn't have to be very
intensive. It could be just a cup of
tea, a cup of coffee. But try to
be sociable and build connections. It'll be good
for you, and it'll be good for your
family, Insha'Allah.
And as again, not, you know, not all
personalities match. Not all families match in terms
of values, in terms of teachings, in terms
of way of living, and all of those
things. But whatever commonalities we're able to find,
and the biggest one is belief in Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala. So try to build upon
that and try to reach out as much
as possible. Try to be sociable. And secondly,
when we do meet one another, when we
do interact, do it in a manner that
is positive.
Try to be a beacon of hope for
people. Try to be a beacon of positivity
for people so that when when people see
you and they meet with you, they feel
good. Whatever state they were at, they feel
a little bit better. So they talk to
you and they tell you that, oh, it
was very nice meeting you. You made me
feel better.
Right? So try to give hope. Try to
make things easy for people. At least make
them seem seem easy. Don't be a person.
Some people you talk to, everything is complicated.
Any issue you bring up, even if it's
small, it's anything minor. Oh, no. It's such
a it's such a difficult journey. Right? So
you don't wanna be one of those people.
Make things easy and encourage patience
and, of course, be kind. And finally, if
you cannot find anything good to say if
you cannot find anything good to say, then
just remain silent.
Sometimes, you know, I was on Facebook and
somebody posted something they were selling. You know?
And maybe their price was too high or
something. People didn't like, oh, there's a long
list of comments.
People just bashing them and just putting them
down. I'm like, you know, if you don't
wanna buy it, if you don't like it,
yeah, just move on. You know? Why why
do you have to comment and and and,
you know, make things difficult for this person
who's trying? You know? So remain silent if
you can't say anything good. So be a
light for each person
so they feel good after seeing us and
talking to us. Indeed, this is the sunnah
of the prophet
bless you all. May Allah always keep you
happy and keep you healthy. May Allah
grant us the best of character. May Allah
make us a source of relief for others,
a source of hope and upliftment. May Allah
forgive us for our shortcomings and any hurt
that we have caused.
My brothers and sisters, we have some sad
news with regards to,
the passing of sister Kim's father,
Norman, Glythero. He passed away after a long
battle with cancer.
This is a difficult time, for her and
her family. We ask Allah
to make this difficult time easy for them.
We ask Allah
to remove their grief,
at the difficult time. We ask Allah to
reward her and her family for all of
the khidima, the service,
that, they did, for him. We also have
request for dua for our elder sister,
whose health is deteriorating,
and she's in a lot of pain. So
we ask Allah to
remove her pain, and we ask Allah
to make things easy for her. And also
our brother and sister who are living with
long term pain and injuries,
families with children and family members, loved ones
who have, you know, severe mental health issues,
emotional illnesses and challenges, physical,
challenges, cancer, and, you know, other illnesses. May
Allah
grant them all a speedy recovery. May Allah
make it easy for them.
And especially the young boy who I've already
talked about last week, with brain cancer. May
Allah
make that easy for him and rid his
body of all the illness and the the
the harm that is contained inside.