Sikander Hashmi – Love and Support for Youth KMA Friday Message
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AI: Transcript ©
Respected elders, dear brothers and sisters,
my young
friends,
We begin by praising Allah
the lord of the universe,
our creator,
our sustainer,
our nourisher,
our protector. And we begin by sending peace
and salutations
upon his beloved messenger,
Muhammad, the son of Abdullah
My brothers and sisters, I hope and I
pray that you're all doing well by the
grace and the mercy of Allah
on this, beautiful Friday,
this blessed day of Jum'ah,
which is expected to be a hot one,
and more heat coming for this weekend. May
Allah keep you all well. May Allah
keep you and your your loved ones, your
household
happy and healthy. I mean,
My brothers and sisters, we got the news
this week of,
the announcement from the province of Ontario that
schools
will not be opening or reopening for in
person learning,
this academic year, meaning in June, and the
schools,
will continue online. Schooling will continue online
until the academic year comes to an end.
I know this has been a difficult time
for, for many families,
especially with younger children,
who are struggling to study online.
And I know it can be stressful, especially
when both parents are working from home as
well. May Allah make it easy for you.
You know, just make sure that you're getting
out, that you're getting some exercise, that you're
you and your children are getting away from
the computer screens and from your phones.
Go out and bike and walk or jog,
run,
play some sports, amongst yourselves.
Keep healthy. Keep active.
Enjoy the the the nature, the beauty of
the nature of Allah that Allah has created.
And,
also don't be too harsh on yourselves. Right?
It is a challenging time, so, you know,
don't expect perfection from yourself, from your family,
from your children.
Cut some slack for yourself and for others.
Of course, it's it's good to aim high
and try to do the right things, so
I'm not trying to discourage that. But, you
know, just just don't be too harsh,
and and and feel down because you have
not been able to do everything perfectly because
these are challenging circumstances.
We ask Allah
to make it easy for you. May Allah
remove these difficulties
and grant
happiness and peace
of mind and peace of heart to you
and your children and your family members, especially
at this time.
My brothers and sisters,
you know, in the past week,
we have once again seen a rash of
shootings,
and this happens, unfortunately,
every now and then.
And what is notable, especially for us members
of the Muslim community, is that the victims
sadly have Muslim names, and,
sadly, the suspects
also have Muslim names as well. And this
is something that we cannot overlook.
This is something that is noticeable,
and this is something that has been concerning
us and rightly so.
It has highlighted
the reality once again that Muslims
are overrepresented
in local jails, in local correctional facilities,
and are overrepresented
in violent crimes.
And what that means is that the percentage
of Muslims that live in the region,
is is is lower than the percentage
of Muslims or at least Muslim names that
we find in committing crimes,
or being victims of violent crimes, unfortunately.
And there's, of course, a lot of concern,
a lot of angst amongst
parents,
and, of course, rightfully so. Right? It is
totally understandable.
And as parents, we should be concerned.
Now we can't address the issue fully right
now, but I would like to share a
few important things.
So first of all first of all, you
all know, every single one of you knows,
I hope,
that I deeply,
value our youth.
I love all of your children. I love
all of our youth,
and I, feel very,
passionate about our youth. And the reason for
that is because, of course, the youth are
our future. They are the future of our
community. They are the ones who will be
leaving our community. They are the ones who
will be taking forward this Amana, this trust
that we have received from our parents, from
our predecessors,
and we have to pass it on to
our youth. And, the our youth are the
future leaders of tomorrow, the future builders of
tomorrow. They are the future parents of tomorrow.
So they are the everything of tomorrow as
far as our community is concerned, as far
as our faith is concerned,
and our, our well-being is concerned, not just
as Muslims, but as society as a whole.
So I feel,
very passionate when it comes to our youth.
Now I'd like to share a message
to my young friends. I have a message
for my young friends, especially those who are
in their teens right now. I know I
know very well
that most probably your life right now is
not easy.
There's so much pressure, and I don't mean
just in pandemic, but just generally in this
age
and, at the age that you're in and
the time in which we live in. There's
so much pressure, right, at a time when
you're going through so many changes in every
way, and you're surrounded by so many things
that you've been taught are wrong or you've
been told that you should be careful about.
So it can be incredibly challenging to figure
it all out. And then on top of
that, there's pressures,
you know, from all sides, pressures from society,
pressures from peers, pressure from school, pressure from
parents, and pressure of your own desires and
feelings and the things that you want to
do.
I know that you are all good kids.
I know that. In the bottom of my
heart, I know that you, in the bottom
of your hearts, are all good kids who
are trying to make sense of it all.
And sometimes maybe you get carried away. And,
I feel it. Right? I know how difficult
it is. You know, I've been in schools.
You know, I've, I've you've been to my
programs. I've spoken to you. I've heard you.
You've spoken to me, so I know how
it is. And I know it is incredibly,
incredibly
challenging. So I actually have a lot of
respect
for any of our youth who are trying,
even if it seems like it's a little
bit, but are trying to do the right
thing, are trying to hold on to their
deen, are trying to continue to strengthen their
relationship with Allah
are trying to contribute positively,
somehow, somewhere. So I I really, really respect
that and respect that greatly.
So you're all you know, you're trying to
make sense of it, and sometimes maybe you
get carried away. And guess what? It happened
to all of us,
every single one of us, your parents, your
grandparents,
all of us. So we understand.
We understand how it is, and we are
here to love you unconditionally
and to help you through this. Okay? That
is what we are aiming to do. I
and your parents and your relatives
want you to succeed
in every way. We want you to be
successful
in every way. And many of you,
have stayed out of trouble and have made
many right choices. And for that, we congratulate
you, and we are so happy for you.
When I see our young people,
being successful, whether it is,
you know, in in worldly matters, whether it
is in religious matters, whether it is, you
know, in their family life, whatever it is.
We got so happy.
You know, when you speak out and you
do things which are positive,
you speak up for the truth, we get
so happy. Right? Whenever you do something positive,
we're incredibly happy for you, and we congratulate
you. Some of you may have had many
may have made many right choices, but along
with that, maybe a few choices which were
not so great. And that's okay because Allah
is the most forgiving. Allah
is the most forgiving. And we know that
if we want the forgiveness of Allah
for ourselves, we should also be forgiving towards
others as well. Everyone makes mistakes, every human
being,
So everyone makes mistakes.
But what's most important
is that we learn from our mistakes.
The the fault is not necessarily making mistakes
because we all make mistakes, but a fault
is when a person makes a mistake and
doesn't learn from their mistakes and continues to
repeat those mistakes
and doesn't take an opportunity
to to learn and to improve themselves.
We all have many choices to make every
day
and each time. This goes for every single
one of us. There's many, many choices that
we have to make. Think of your day.
Every single moment almost there's a choice to
make to be made. And each time, we
try our best to make the best choice
possible.
Now when you make these choices every day,
and this goes for all of us, not
just my young friends, not just my my
young friends who are teenagers, but also for
adults as well. There are 2 truths to
remember.
And like I said, this is for all
of us. Truth number 1,
any gain,
k, any gain that comes from disobeying Allah's
guidance for us and remember, Allah's guidance, the
guidance of his messenger
are for our own benefit. Individually
and collectively,
as humanity, it is for our own benefit.
Okay? We may not understand all the wisdoms,
and that's fine. K? We may not understand.
We may not be able to connect all
the dots, but just know that all of
that guidance is for our own benefit.
So any gain that comes from disobeying Allah's
guidance for us or any, you know, seeming
success or feeling that comes by denying Allah's
existence,
it will never
ever lead to true success or to anything
good.
K? It will ultimately,
sooner or later, lead to failure and loss.
And that's what we don't want for you
or for any of us. So please, please
don't go there. It's not worth it. Really,
it's not worth it. And I say this
out of love and out of concern for
you. I don't want there I don't want
there to be a day when you look
back in regret and say that, you know
what? Imam Sikander was right, and I wish
I had listened to him then. I wish
I had listened to him when I was
younger when he gave me this message. So
please, please, for your own well-being,
for your own well-being, please do not go
into anything which involves the disobedience of Allah
but especially the denying of Allah because it
is not gonna lead to anything good. I've
seen people go down that road, and they're
a mess,
or Allah guides them and they come back,
but that period of time is not a
good period of time to be in. It's
not a good state to be in. So
that's truth number 1. Truth number
2,
drugs,
including weed, by the way. Okay? So even
drugs which may be legal or which may
seem or society or the people around you
may think like they're no big deal. Okay?
So drugs of any type,
alcohol,
guns,
gangs,
murders,
violent crime,
all of these should be red flags.
These things will never lead to anything good.
Okay? I can assure you 100%, they're never
going to lead to anything good. Even if
you don't see the harm right away, there
will be a harm in the long run.
K? So they're not gonna lead to anything
good. You might be pressured. I understand that.
You might be attracted by quick money. I
understand that. You might be seeking acceptance
and brotherhood,
and I understand that. Or maybe just an
escape from,
what appears to be a boring or maybe
a difficult life. I understand all of that.
But know that these things will never ever
be good for you, not in this world,
not in the hereafter.
So please don't risk it. There's nothing to
gain,
everything to lose. Sometimes people think, oh, I'm
just gonna go in a little bit, and
I'll and I'll get out. I'm smart I'm
smart enough to know. But guess what? It's
a slippery slope.
Thousands of people have gone thinking that they'll
get out, but they've actually fallen off the
cliff. Okay? So it's not worth the risk.
If you have people
who are into this stuff, who are around
you, then run the other way like there's
no tomorrow.
Why? Because nothing good is about to come
out from them unless unless you're helping one
of them get out of it. So if
you have a friend or someone that you
know, maybe you knew them from childhood or
maybe you were close at some point and
you've seen them going down that road,
then the only time when you want to
be in touch with them is if you're
trying to help them, if you're trying to
bring them back. But if you're risking yourself
and you're actually gonna get pulled the other
way, then it's not worth the risk. Okay?
Because it's gonna hurt you. It's gonna hurt
your family, your future, and your afterlife.
I've had the privilege, and I've said I've
been to prison before, but the privilege of
visiting. What I mean is I've been to
prison to visit our brothers in prison.
They can't even have a box of Popeyes
without planning 2 weeks ahead of time, even
if that is possible. K? It may not
even be possible.
Why? Because almost every aspect of their lives
is controlled.
What time they sleep, what time they get
up, what they wear, when they go out
for exercise, who they talk to, when they
meet with their families. Everything is controlled. I've
been inside. I've met those brothers. May Allah
bless them. They've turned their lives around, and
they've repented. And I really make dua for
them, and I wish them nothing but the
best. Right? But
you have a choice right now not to
go down that road. So please don't because
it's really it's really not worth it. And
the hereafter, Allah
tells us of greater
loss.
Allah
says, and whoever kills a believer intentionally,
their recompense, their reward
will be the hellfire
where they will stay indefinitely.
Allah will be displeased with them, condemn them,
and will prepare for them a tremendous punishment.
My friends, killing anyone purposely, right, except in
the few rare cases when it may be
legitimate
is a major sin
that will get a person thrown into the
hellfire and especially more so when it is
a fellow believer. Now you may not go
into something planning to kill anyone, but there's
a good chance there's a good chance you
will get used. Why do I say you
will get used? Because the people who are
up ahead or up on top,
hardly ever anything happens to them. Nothing happens
to them. They're the ones who are enjoying
life by using our kids, by using you,
by using your friends,
putting you in harm's way for their own
benefit, by giving you a few candies relatively
compared to what they have. And they're using
you, getting you to kill one another, getting
our youth
to attack one another, to kill one another
while they themselves
relax comfortably and watch the show. My friends,
do not get used.
Do not get used. And when you're at
that point, it will be very difficult to
say no. So to all my friends,
this is likely a tumultuous time in your
life. And I make, honestly, and you most
of you know this. I make lots of
dua for you, and I know it's tough.
But please hang in there. Hang in there,
and this too shall pass soon.
Insha'Allah insha'Allah. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala always
keep you happy. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
always protect you from all types of evil
regardless of whether they are visible or hidden.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant you steadfastness
steadfastness
in your faith. May Allah
grant you the very best in this life
and in the hereafter.
Now to my brothers and sisters, the parents,
soon to be parents,
grandparents,
I know everyone is concerned about their youth.
And as you know, I am too. When
it comes to guns and gang violence,
this is a complex issue
that involves many risk factors, which lead me
to believe that, you know, while being part
of criminal gangs or being involved in criminal
activity will always be wrong, and there's no
justification for it. The kids who are going
into this are actually victims themselves.
The kids who are going into this are
actually victims
themselves, and this is very important for us
to understand.
We will have a discussion tonight with doctor
Khaled Bazeid,
who is a child and adolescent psychiatrist,
expert in the field who is practicing currently
here in Ottawa.
Is
accepted, agreed to join us this evening at
9:30 PM for Friday family night live. So
please join us at 9:30 PM tonight for
that discussion, that very important discussion. And, of
course, we'll have our prize draw as well.
Fill out the quiz if you haven't already
at canonism.ca/quiz.
Now let us talk generally, though, about our
youth, my brothers and sisters.
We all want our youth to succeed in
this world and in the hereafter.
Anyone who disagrees with that, I don't think
so, and particularly in 3 things or 3
areas. So number 1, we want them to
hold on to their iman,
not become victim of the atheist, wolves, and
other arms of shaitan of the shayateen. So
that's number 1. We want them to hold
on to their iman.
Number 2, we don't want them to get
into any major sins,
especially,
when it comes to, you know, haram lifestyles
and things like that. And number 3, we
do not want them to go into, committing
crimes or into a life of crime. I
think everyone would agree with those three basic
things.
And that's the bare minimum for most parents.
Then, of course, on top of that, we
want them to be happy. We want them
to practice Islam. We want them to be
well behaved, and we want them to study
well and have good careers and get married
and have happy families and be successful and
so on. So all of those things, of
course, we agree.
So So there's a few tips I'd like
to share. I can't solve this problem. I
can't address it fully, but I'd like to
share a few tips.
Remember that every child will be different. Every
child will be different. But there's a few
things that every child needs, just like their
physical provisions, just like the the nurturing physically,
the physical provisions and the physical care that
they need, there's 3 things or a few
things that each child needs. So number 1,
love and nurturing care.
Children need their parents, especially when they're young.
K? Sadly, it is also and this has
really bothered me because sadly, this is also
often the time when financial pressures are high,
when your family is young, your children are
young, financial pressures are high. You know, you
have to work hard. That is the time
when you're working hard to establish your career
and so on. So if you have children,
and especially young children, there's probably nothing more
valuable that you can give them than your
love and your time. Right? And I'm thinking
ahead, right, because it starts early. Right? If
you have children now who are young, this
is the time to start.
Build and solidify that positive connection with them.
And in most cases,
that positive connection, that good relationship we have
with your children, it'll pay huge dividends later
on.
Take time off work if you can. Resist
the temptation to send them to daycare if
you can. And I know it's not gonna
be easy, especially for working moms. But please,
if you if it's possible for you if
it's possible for you, spend as much time
as possible with as you can with your
children. Give them as much love and attention
as you can because as you can because
that is what is gonna build their them
up. That is what is going to solidify,
strengthen their foundation and their roots. Now as
children grow older,
parents are their guides.
It is natural that children and youth will
make mistakes. That's a given. We all did
when we were young. So why do we
expect our children to be perfect when we
ourselves were not? Okay. So just understand
that your child will make mistakes. Okay.
Most children will make mistakes. Now as they
grow older,
you need to coach and guide them with
love and respect
with love and respect. Now this doesn't mean
that we spoil our children. When I say
unconditional love, it doesn't mean that we spoil
our children. You can still love your child
and still guide them in a loving way,
still help them in making good choices, instill
in them the ability to differentiate between right
and wrong and to make good choices. Because
guess what? You and I are not always
gonna be with our children. Eventually, they will
have to face the world, and they will
have to make choices. And sometimes they will
make bad choices. So our job is to
help guide them and build that ability
to make the right choices. So allow them
to make some choices.
Okay? Within defined areas, allow them allow them
to have their say and to make some
choices, especially as they grow older.
Ask for ask for their opinion and respect
it. Right? You don't necessarily have to agree
with it, but you can talk about things,
and you can respect their opinions
and respect their privacy.
You know, sometimes tough love is needed. I
understand. Right?
It it's needed. You need to be tough
sometimes.
But always balance it out with gentle love
as well. Don't just be tough tough tough
tough tough. That is what breaks children.
That is what breaks their mental health. Don't
be just tough all the time and just
be strict and because your parents raised you
that way. That does not work.
That does not work. Okay? So be tough
if you need to sometimes, but balance it
out with even more gentle love.
Expression of love and kisses and, you know,
expressions of love like kisses and hugs are
important, not just when children are young, but
also when in their teens. And they're gonna
act like they don't like it and they
don't want it. But believe me, they need
it. And one of the biggest mistakes that
parents make is treating their teens as they
treated them when they were young children.
Our parenting needs to grow and adapt to
the growth of our children.
Right? So you can't treat someone who's 16
or 18 years old, even 20 years old.
Somehow, I see that sometimes. When parents are
treating their 20 year old child the way
they treated them when they were 7 years
old, it's not gonna work. That is not
going to work. Okay? So our parenting has
to adapt
as our children grow.
And
as I mentioned, love. Understand the importance of
gentleness. Because Aisha related that the prophet
said
the prophet said that
That verily gentleness is not founding is not
found in anything,
but that it beautifies it. And it is
not removed from anything, but that it disgraces
it. So if you're parenting without gentleness,
it is not going to lead to any
positive or good outcome. May Allah make it
easy for us because it is not easy
to parent
and to be parents during this age. May
Allah make it easy for us. So that's
number 1. Number 2,
strong and stable family life. There was probably
nothing as destructive to a child and youth
and a youth's mental health than a chaotic
or a broken home. Now I know many
times this is not in our control, and
I'm not pinning blame on anyone who does
not have control over the situation. But when
you do have control over the situation, Umer,
you do have a role, a say in
the situation,
please do not create problems in your family
due to petty issues or because of your
own desires.
I'm not at all suggesting
that woman mothers should not get help or
wives should not get help in cases of
domestic violence. But what I am suggesting
is for the perpetrators
of domestic violence and those who contribute to
it to stop,
if not out of love and concern for
one another, then at least for the well-being
of the children.
Our children, our youth need both parents that
are loving
and supportive.
So spend time together.
Do some activities together. Play some games together.
Have dinner together at least.
Attend programs. If you notice, one of our
focuses is just on families. We try to
do everything for families
because we want to create an environment that
fosters togetherness of families, that fosters love and
unity between family members. We don't want to
compartmentalize and separate all family members because family
members need one another. Our children and our
youth need healthy and stable families.
But at the same time, of course, give
some independence too.
Because boys,
you know, give some independence so that, you
know, they are able to socialize amongst their
peers and and those who who are like
them. And remember that boys,
very, very important, they need positive male role
models. And, of course, girls also need positive
female role models as well.
Number 3, my brothers and sisters, is keep
them engaged.
Most of the trouble starts when there's too
much free time. And, subhanallah, I've had youth
tell me this themselves
crying.
Bless them. In the public high school. You
know, I was actually there for something else.
I was leaving. They actually stopped me. They
said, Sheikh, can we talk to you for
a few minutes? I was in the guidance
office. And the vice principal said, sure. There's
a room right there. Go ahead and talk.
And this is sheikh. We know what is
right or wrong. We know what is right
or wrong. When we're with our families, with
our parents, they take us to the masjid.
We recite Quran. We offer salah. We do
all those things. We know. But when we're
with our friends and school ends at 2:30,
2:45, 3 o'clock, there's way too much free
time, and that is when we get into
trouble because we don't have any outlets. We
hang up with our friends and trouble starts.
They said it themselves.
So most of the trouble starts when there
is too much free time. So support your
children in building a passion or interest early
on, whether it is sports, whether it is
martial arts, whether it is baking or academics
or, you know, extracurriculars or deen or memorizing
the Quran, whatever it is. If there's nothing,
then something else will take its place, and
it may not be positive.
Empty mind, as the saying goes, is devil's
workshop.
So please try to keep children engaged. Try
to keep youth busy in something positive. And
as we open up, we will also try
to increase our programming so that we can
offer something that is regular for all of
our youth and our children.
And finally, my brothers and sisters, know that
our wealth and our children is our trial
from Allah.
Allah says,
Your wealth and children are only a test,
but Allah alone has a great reward. So
go through this.
Try your best with the best of intentions.
Try to learn and adapt your parenting, and
try to to to do things in the
best way possible.
Remember that the worst of people have had
children that Allah guided. And the best of
people, including the prophets, some of the prophets
have had children who have become misguided. Okay?
So in the end, we try our best.
Right? Most important job for us is to
build a solid foundation.
I still remember it many years ago when
I was studying, youth worker from Montreal on
CBC Radio many, many years ago. Words still
resonate in my mind. It said along the
lines of this to the effect that most
youth will make mistakes and lose their way.
But it's the ones who have a foundation
that will bounce back once they snap out
of it. So they will snap out of
it. And when they snap out of it,
that foundation that you have built,
that is what will
help them and save them. And the ones
with no foundation will have nothing to fall
back on. So my brothers and sisters, try
your best. Try your best sincerely. Make dua
to Allah
and
leave for Allah the rest.
Let us make dua.
Oh,
Allah. Oh, Allah. Please protect our children.
Oh, Allah. Please protect our youth from all
types of evils and destruction.
Oh, Allah. Please guide us. Oh, Allah. Please
especially guide our youth, our children, and protect
our
iman. Oh, Allah. Please guide us all, especially
our youth and our children, to that which
pleases you most.
Oh, Allah. Please grant us all the best
return to you whenever it has been decreed
for us.
Oh, Allah. Please cure all of our brothers
and sisters who are ill, oh, Allah. Whether
they are physically ill, oh, Allah. Whether they
are mentally ill, oh, Allah. Whether they are
spiritually ill, oh, Allah. Especially our elder sister
who is living in pain, oh, Allah. Our
brothers and sisters, our brother and sister who
are suffering from long term pain and injuries.
Oh, Allah, all of those who are ill,
who are at risk of becoming ill. Oh,
Allah, our brother Sa'ud Alam in his battle
against cancer. Oh, Allah, please strengthen all of
them You Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah. Please cure
all of them You Rabbil Alameen.
Oh, Allah. You are the protector. Oh, Allah.
You are the healer. Oh, Allah. You are
the cure. Oh, Allah. Please grant them all
his speedy recovery. Oh, Allah. Please protect them
and all of us from all types of
illnesses and pain and suffering, You Rabbil Alameen.
Oh, Allah, please grant relief. Oh, Allah, please
grant relief to all of those who are
in pain. Oh, Allah, all of those who
are in grief.
Oh, Allah, all of those stress and facing
anxiety, o Allah, please replace it with happiness
and peace and joy, You Rabbal Alameen. O
Allah, please grant peace and love and unity
to all of our families and all of
our households, You Rabbal Alameen. O Allah, our
children, o Allah, our youth who are looking
to get married and not able to find
suitable spouses, oh Allah, please grant them suitable
and the best spouses for them, You Rabbal
Alameen. Oh Allah, our families that are struggling
amongst themselves, oh Allah, who are lacking love
and unity, oh Allah, please remove all of
their ill feelings and grant them peace and
love and unity You Rabbal Alameen. Oh Allah,
all of the parents who are struggling with
their children. Oh Allah, all of their youth
who are struggling. All of the youth who
are struggling with their families and their friends
and their peers. Oh Allah, please grant them
all goodness,
unity and peace and love with goodness, You
Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah. Please protect and grant
justice to all of those who are oppressed,
You Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah. Especially our Palestinian
brothers and sisters. Oh, Allah. All of our
brothers and sisters around the world. Oh, Allah.
And the indigenous people of this land. Oh,
Allah. Please grant them justice.
Oh, Allah. Please remove the ill effects of
injustice from them.
May Allah bless you all. Please go ahead,
offer 4 regards of the word prayer at
home. May Allah
protect you always. May Allah always protect your
future generations till the day of judgment.
We'll see you tonight, 9:30 PM, Friday family
night live,
special discussion with doctor Khaled Bazeid,
a child as adolescent
psychiatrist
regarding our youth and the issue of gangs
and all of these issues that are on
our minds at this point. And, of course,
like I said, remember to fill out the
quiz. Gradamustlums.ca/quiz
by 6 PM today to qualify for the
draw that we will do tonight,
the prize draw. Look forward to seeing you
soon.