Sikander Hashmi – Family Fundamentals Team Taqwa KMA Friday Message
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Indeed all praises are for Allah
We praise him,
we seek his assistance,
we seek his forgiveness,
we seek refuge in him
from the evil of our souls
and from the sins of our actions.
Whomsoever Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala guides
none can misguide.
And whomsoever Allah
leaves astray,
none can guide.
And I bear witness that there is none
worthy of worship except Allah
and that Muhammad
the son of Abdullah
as his final messenger
and servant.
May the blessings
and salutations of Allah
be upon him,
his family, his household,
his companions and all of those
who follow him in goodness.
Ameen.
My brothers and sisters, Allah
commands us.
He says,
O you who believe,
have taqwa of Allah,
be conscious of Allah
as he deserves to be,
have the taqwa of Allah that he deserves
and do not die except
in a state of submission,
except as Muslims.
My brothers and sisters, imagine
if Allah
had created us
without any family members,
no parents,
no children,
no grandparents,
no relatives,
no blood relations,
no one took care for us, only strangers.
And imagine what life would be like and
what the world would it be like
if we found ourselves in that state, in
that situation as children.
But tragically,
this is the reality
for many children
in Gaza right now.
Children make up nearly half
of the population of Gaza, half of the
2,300,000
people that are stuck there.
More than 11,000
are minors, they're under 18.
More than 11,000
under 18 minuteers have been killed according to
health officials
and even more
have sustained
injuries, many of them life altering.
The Euro Mediterranean Human Rights Monitor says
that more than 24,000
children
have lost
1
or both parents.
And UNICEF, the United Nations
Children's Agency says
that its biggest concern
is for the estimated 19,000
children who are orphan who are orphaned
or have ended up alone
with no adult
to look after them.
Many of the children have been found
under the rubble
or have lost their parents
in bombings of their homes.
Others have been found
at Israeli checkpoints in hospitals
or wandering the streets.
Some are too young to even
share their names.
The older ones are usually in a state
of shock,
so it can be extremely difficult to identify
them and reunite them with their extended families
if there are any left.
We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to protect
the children of Gaza. We ask Allah
to
grant these children
His special mercy and protection.
My brothers and sisters,
having
our family members
around us, having family
is an incredible blessing of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
It is a blessing that we often do
not value as is the case with many
blessings,
perhaps even most blessings that we only realize
its value
once it is taken away from us. Otherwise,
we take it for granted
or perhaps even see it as a burden
or a problem.
Too many times my brothers and sisters,
our egos,
greed,
distractions
get in the way of our family relationships.
Maintaining these relationships
is critical for the well-being
of our children,
the well-being of our youth,
our collective well-being
so that we have
peaceful
and stable homes
so that we are
all loved
and cared for.
So that we are all able
to live the best version of ourselves.
If we have this, my brothers and sisters,
we will have a stable community
and a peaceful society insha'Allah.
Because healthy families
are the building blocks
of society.
Otherwise,
the problems and challenges that we see in
society
will continue
to get
worse and worse.
Of course, there can be many different challenges
and struggles
and things are not always easy.
There can be various types of stressors,
trauma.
Sometimes there is intergenerational
trauma,
it can be illnesses
and other types of challenges.
Ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make it
easy for everyone who is struggling. Ameen.
There are 2 fundamentals, my brothers and sisters,
that I'd like to share
that have to do with the family.
1
has to do with our minds,
their attitudes.
The second one has to do with our
heart.
Consider them the 2 t's of healthy families,
teamwork
and teamwork
and.
A family
is one team.
And the team members,
especially the leader,
need to make things work.
This has to do with our attitude. This
has to do with how we perceive and
we look at our families.
Families are not meant to be competition between
family members,
but rather they're meant to be teams which
require teamwork.
A few ingredients that can help
in any team but especially
in our families.
Firstly, my brothers and sisters,
gentleness
and not harshness.
See the Prophet
was the best of examples, the best of
models,
and he was not harsh.
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam
was not harsh, he was gentle.
And he commanded Aisha radiAllahu Anha
by saying, That verily
First of all, He said, O Aisha,
be gentle,
practice gentleness,
have rifq.
Verily when Allah loves the people of a
household,
he allows gentleness to enter with them.
But this is something my brothers and sisters
we need to
strive for.
We need to practice, we need to model,
right? We can't be
taking a harsh approach,
always being harsh and angry and then expecting
that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will bless our
homes with gentleness,
right? Yes, inshaAllah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will
grant it to whom He wills
but we have to play our part and
we have to show that we are deserving.
So be gentle,
do not be harsh. Secondly, my brothers and
sisters,
communication
through words
and deeds.
Communication
through words
and deeds.
Love, mercy,
care,
these are the essential ingredients
that need to exist in a successful household,
in a successful family. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
has brought
husband and wife together
with what? Mawaddahirrahma,
love and mercy,
care, affection.
These things need to exist and they also
need to be communicated as well.
Gratefulness, the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam
has emphasized the importance of being grateful to
one another,
being grateful to Allah
but also
to one another,
having respect.
And when things go wrong, we make a
mistake
or we offend someone,
having remorse being able to apologize
and to say sorry.
Communication
through words
and through actions.
Words without actions
are meaningless.
Words without actions
are meaningless.
When someone says something but they do the
opposite, it doesn't mean anything.
And actions
without words
can be misunderstood.
Can be
misunderstood.
So you say it
and you do it. You do both things.
So communication my brothers and sisters essential
for keeping
the team together
and working together in harmony.
Number 3 my brothers and sisters,
spending time.
Spending time with one another.
You know you can spend money
and it's good if you have the right
intention it will count as sadaqa, Insha'Allah.
Spend money on your family, it will count
as sadaqa, Insha'Allah.
But money is not the answer to everything.
Time is required.
If you put money but you don't give
time, that will be noticed,
that will be remembered.
And yes, we can be busy.
We have many things to take care of.
But our families
have a right upon us.
Right? The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam told
us that,
That if a person
would like his risk to be abundant
and for his lifespan to be extended, let
him uphold his types of kingship. Now I
ask you upholding the types of kingship, how
does that happen? Does that happen automatically?
No. It requires some effort, it requires time,
it requires energy,
it requires care and concern.
So give time.
Spend money but also give time. And if
you do it with the right intention inshaAllah,
you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala.
But this hadith is referring to silaturah,
the ties of kinship
which includes of course first and foremost your
parents,
your children, your grandparents,
your uncles, your aunts, your blood relatives,
right? Your siblings of course,
but it doesn't include the spouse.
Yet the Prophet
also
has told us, he's instructing
Abdullah ibn Amrbulu 'as radiAllahu anhu.
And he told him
that your eyes have a right upon you,
Your body has a right upon you
and your wife, your spouse also has a
right upon you.
People have rights, our family members have rights
upon us.
Brothers and sisters, let us honor those rights,
make sure that we fulfill them.
So that's the first part. The first t,
teamwork. All of these things go towards
building a strong family team.
The second thing my brothers and sisters most
importantly is Taqwa.
See when a person has their nikah done,
the first ayah that is recited
as part of
the nikah.
Do people remember they're so happy at that
time, maybe they don't remember.
Yeah.
O humanity, O people, be mindful of your
Lord who created you from a single soul.
And from it He created its mate, and
through both He spread countless men and women.
But the first injunction,
The first injunction is to have taqwa.
If you try
to manage your family my brothers and sisters
with the absence of taqwa,
it's going to be very difficult
because there's no one policing
the family at all times.
But if we remember that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala is policing us and Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala is always watching our interactions,
no matter if we are within the confines
of our home and nobody else can hear,
we will remember that we are accountable to
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala one day.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala gives us the qualities
of the people of Taqwa.
A number of places in the Quran He
does,
but in particular I'd like to highlight Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says about the people of
Taqwa,
(3nine
forty
seven)
Allah says that there are those who donate,
who give in prosperity and adversity,
and there are those who control their anger
and pardon others.
And Allah
loves the good doers of good. My brothers
and sisters, forgive one another. If you are
a person of taqwa,
if you want to be a family of
taqwa,
you have to forgive one another,
have forgiveness towards one another, don't hold on
to everything,
let go. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
said,
Be merciful to others, you will receive mercy.
Forgive others and Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala will
forgive you.
Control anger,
This is one of the greatest sources of
trouble.
It gets harmful for teamwork anyways,
but it is also not from the qualities
of the people of Taqwa
to not be able to control your anger.
So restrain your anger.
Control your anger as it is said in
one narration
about the people that indeed the best of
them is slow to anger, quick to recover.
Indeed the worst of them is quick to
anger
and slow to recover.
And the best my brothers and sisters, and
when we bring the 2 t's together,
when we have teamwork
based on taqwa, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells
us,
The believers, both men and women are auliya,
are supporters, are guardians for one another. What
do they do?
Allah says, the believers, both men and women
are guardians and supporters of one another. They
encourage good and forbid evil.
They establish prayer and pay zakat, and they
obey Allah and his messenger.
And it is they who will be shown
Allah's mercy. Surely Allah is almighty, alwise.
If you want your team to be blessed
with the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
have taqwa
and work together
for the pleasure of Allah
We ask Allah
to grant ease to all of our brothers
and sisters especially children who are without families
particularly in Gaza and elsewhere around the world.
Allahumma Ameen. May Allah
make us for among those who value our
family members, our family relations. Allahumma Ameen. May
Allahumma Ameen. Make us those who build peace
in their homes.