Sikander Hashmi – Dangerous Gossip KMA Friday Message
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AI: Transcript ©
Respected elders,
dear brothers and sisters, my young friends.
On this,
snow day, I want to give a special,
welcome to my young friends.
Whenever there's a snow day, the children are
happy. When the children are happy, I'm happy.
So it means snow day means happy imam.
So
I'm happy today and it's of course the
blessed day of Jumuah. May Allah
bless you all. Amin.
My brothers and sisters, my young friends,
one of your friends
comes to you and ask you some questions.
And these questions are of a personal nature,
something that is perhaps a secret, something you
don't necessarily want to share with everyone.
But because they're your friend and you have
some,
strength in your relationship with them because you
trust them, you give them that information.
Or you can say perhaps someone is looking
to get married, and in the course of
the discussions, they see us share some private
information about themselves.
In either scenario,
the weight
of holding
the secret
or the weight of holding the information that
you gave
that person who you thought was your friend
or perhaps still is your friend
or the potential,
potential person for marriage,
the weight is too much for them of
that secret, of that information.
And they've have a burning desire inside of
them to share it with someone.
And they go ahead and they share it
with another person.
And they tell that person,
don't tell anyone,
but I'm gonna tell you something.
And
they tell another person.
When that person finds out, they also have
a burning sensation inside to share this information.
So they go to another person and they
say, Shh, I'm not supposed to tell you
this, but you know what?
And then they give the information.
Now this third person or second person has
also a burning sensation inside and then they
go and they spread
and they share the information. Perhaps they don't
even say,
don't tell anyone.
Perhaps you did not tell them, oh, this
is a secret.
Perhaps you just assumed that they will keep
it a secret and they will respect your
privacy. They will respect
the fact that this is something you are
telling them in private.
But instead,
they go ahead and they share that secret
and they share that information. And the chain
continues.
And every person that takes part,
they have a share in that *
effect
of that betrayal of trust.
The *,
betrayal of trust. Why do we call it
*? Because when you make a snowball, if
you're making a snowman,
right, you take a little ball, you put
in the snow, and you start rolling it.
What happens? It starts getting bigger and bigger.
Every time we turn it, it gets bigger.
Right? So it's a * effect
of betrayal
of trust. And my brothers and sisters,
my friends,
this betrayal of trust
and breaking
of promises, this is from among the signs
of hypocrisy.
What is it? From among the signs of
hypocrisy, from among the signs of nifaq. The
prophet
has told us that
that there are 4 things, there are 4
qualities,
and whoever
has all of the 4 is a pure
hypocrite.
What is the term that he use?
He is a pure hypocrite.
Like, you know how you have 100% pure
orange juice. So this is a pure hypocrite
who has these
four characteristics.
And whoever has some of them, some of
these characteristics
has a characteristic of hypocrisy
until that person gives it up,
until
that person
gives it up. And the prophet
then went through them that when he is
entrusted with something, he betrays or she betrays
that trust.
When a person is entrusted with something, they
betray that trust. They break that trust that
a person had put into them.
When
he speaks, he lies.
So when they're talking to people, of course,
course, you're not gonna be talking to yourself.
Otherwise, you're gonna go see a doctor, but
you're gonna talk to someone.
And
when they speak, they often lie.
When he makes a promise,
he breaks it. So betrays trust, lies,
breaks promises.
And when he disputes, he resorts
to falsehood
and lies and bad language,
reacting in a bad way, in a very
negative way, in an
aggressive,
disreputable
way. So these are the 4 characteristics that
the prophet
has given
of hypocrisy. And anyone who has all 4
of them, 100% pure. May Allah protect us
all. Now, we may be thinking, you may
be thinking that what if a person
doesn't agree to keep the secret but
is told to keep a secret
and they never agreed to it?
Okay? So when you were talking
to your friend
or to that person for marriage,
you shared this information with them
and you told them, keep it a secret,
but they never agreed to it.
And then you went ahead and you told
them the information, and you told them the
secret.
Does that make it okay for them to
share that information?
And the reality is, my dear brothers and
sisters, my young friends, that even if someone
tells you something
and does not say that it is a
secret,
but
you're able to tell that it is a
private or a sensitive matter that they do
not want others to know,
then it must be kept a secret.
Okay?
So it's not so technical that, oh, you
know, he or she told me that it
was a secret and wanted me to keep
it a secret, but I never agreed to
it. And then they gave me the information.
And since I never agreed to it, I
can go ahead and share it. That's not
how it works. Because
Rasulullah
has told us that
that
if
a man if a person tells you something
that looks around,
he's gonna tell you something. He's looking around
to make sure that no one hears what
he's telling you or she's telling you. It
is an it is a trust.
So just the fact that a person is
behaving in a manner,
that do they do not want that information
to be heard or to be known by
others, it means that it is an Amana,
it is a trust.
Regardless of whether they told you to keep
it a secret or not.
And we also have another narration which has
been classified as,
having some issues in the chain of narration,
some weakness in the chain of narration. But
the prophet
reported to have said that that
meetings,
gatherings are a trust also. And he gave
3 exceptions.
Right? Amongst them,
if there is a planning going on
for forbidden bloodshed, if there is a planning
or discussion going on about
the shedding of blood, about murder,
about haram murder,
right? Or killing which is unlawful,
then in that case, it is not to
be kept a secret. If there is a
discussion
to plan, you know, or or or make
some sort of arrangement
for fornication,
then it is not to be a secret.
If there is a meeting or a plan,
a discussion
regarding
the usurping
people's properties, oppressing people in terms of their
properties and their wealth, that that also is
not to be kept a secret, does not
have to be kept a secret. But apart
from these situations which have to do with
the rights of others, protecting others from harm,
apart from that,
meetings,
gatherings, discussions that we have, they are a
trust.
When the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam says
that it is a trust for,
it means
it is entrusted to the one
to whom to whom he spoke or she
spoke, meaning it comes under the same
ruling as a trust.
So the person who heard it must conceal
it.
It's just like somebody
entrust you with some money,
their keys to their home, to their car,
their phone, their jewelry, and says, can you
keep it for me for a bit?
Can you hold it for me while I'm
gone?
You know, I was remember, I was in
Jeddah airport once. I think I mentioned this
before. I was coming back from Umrah,
and this random stranger well, I was, like,
standing outside the washroom. And random stranger comes
up to me. He said, Brother can you
just hold on to my passport? Here's my
passport, can you hold it? I said, What?
Okay. So, you know, he kept it for
a few minutes, he used the washroom, he
came back and then gave it to him.
Right? Very surprising that alhamdulillah, you know, as
he he trusted me enough. Alhamdulillah.
But
when a person shares a secret
with us, it's the same thing.
When a person doesn't tell us don't share
that secret, it's the same thing. When we
learn something in a meeting, in a gathering,
it's the same thing. It's an.
And if we betray, if we become a
person who betrays a man and betrays trust,
that means that we have one of the
signs, one of the characteristics of hypocrisy
inside of us. Brothers who are coming in,
we have room, in in that, space in
that room. We have room here on the
left side of the hall. So please go
ahead and fill in the gaps.
So when someone is told something, even if
it is not stipulated that it's a secret,
but it appears to be so, then one
must guard it as a trust.
So, for example, somebody closes the door, says,
I have to tell you something. Or they
ask they're on the phone and they ask
you, is anyone around?
Are you on speaker phone?
You
know? Or to send you a text message
or an email. They're assuming that you are
the one who's only gonna be reading it.
All of these things indicate
that
that conversation, that information needs to be kept
private, needs to be kept secret unless there's
a compelling reason, justifiable reason for sharing it.
Brothers, please continue inside their space over here.
Now this is regarding something that is either
good or benign.
If it's a secret,
it's a trust and it needs to stay
as a secret. It doesn't have to be
something malicious. It doesn't have to be something
negative or bad. It's just some information that
a person
does not want to share.
If it's something that's negative,
if it's something that's defaming,
embarrassing,
then it goes up to the next level
in terms of seriousness. So this was already
serious enough,
but it was for something anything general that
a person doesn't want to share. But if
it goes to the next level
where it is something negative or something that
is defaming or embarrassing,
then it becomes even more serious.
Because if it's something
the person who it's about doesn't like,
then it becomes ghiba.
And that is very very serious
because Allah
tells us in Surat Al
Hujarat, Do not backbite each other. And then
the example that Allah gives after that,
Would one of you like to eat the
flesh of his brother when he's dead?
Would you like to do that?
It's a rhetorical question Allah answers.
You would detest it.
You would hate it. Imagine eating
the flesh, the meat
of your brother, of another person who is
dead. It's disgusting. It's gross.
That is how disgusting backbiting is.
That is how
gross backbiting should be for us. And the
prophet
asked his companions
that do you know what is reba?
What is reba?
So they said, Allahu Rasulullah.
This is one of the characteristics, one of
the qualities of this Abba.
Many times you'll find in narrations in a
hadith when Rasulullah
asked them a question.
They didn't say, yes, yes, I know, I
know, I know. They didn't do that. Instead,
he said Allah because if Rasulullah
was asking them a question,
means he's trying to teach them something. It's
a moment to learn.
So they would say Allahu Rasoolu 'alaam. Allah
and His Messenger
know best.
So Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, saying something
about your brother that he dislikes.
Saying something
about your brother that he
dislikes. So if there is information about another
person and that person dislikes
that thing being talked about,
about them,
that's the definition
of reba.
Now, if it's something that a person doesn't
like
and it's something that's private and hidden, even
more serious than reba. So you're talking about
different levels here. 1st is just sharing information
generally that you have heard in a conversation
privately, in a private conversation.
Then we're talking about
sharing information that is true that a person
doesn't like.
And
if it goes
beyond that, where something that's private, it's hidden,
the person doesn't like,
and,
and, you know, especially if it is
something which
is borderline,
you know, exaggeration,
maybe it's, you know, half true, then of
course it becomes even more serious. The Prophet
said, that no person
who spread who is a who spreads
will enter Jannah. And the most common definition
of
means
telling
some people what others have said. So
spreading tales, sharing tales
in order to cause trouble among them. Some
malicious gossip.
So this is next level now. Okay. 1st,
we're talking about general secrets, anything that you
hear privately.
Secondly, we're talking about saying sharing something, seeing
something that a person, you know, does not
like, which is true.
And now we're talking about spreading information
with the intention
of
causing some trouble, of malicious gossip.
And when we read the scholarly,
you know, works on Namima or what the
scholars have written,
it appears that it is very broad.
It's very broad.
Referring to the disclosure of anything that may
hurt or offend somebody if it is disclosed.
You know, whether it is the person
who is spoken about, who is offended,
or the person
who hears the gossip is not going to
like what they're hearing or even a third
party. So very broad
in terms of
dislike and offense.
So many scholars have given that definition of
Namima. Whether it is disclosed verbally,
whether it is in writing, or by means
of a hint, or a gesture even, whether
it is transmitted in action, or word,
or whether what is transmitted rather is an
action,
or a word or a fault or a
shortcoming in the person who's being talked about
or in someone else. So you can say
that Namima is spreading secrets
and stories
and disclosing that which is not appropriate to
disclose
with an element of negativity and maliciousness.
Right? It's one thing that we talked about
in the beginning. Somebody is just not able
to hold a secret and they share it.
That's still not good. You're not supposed to
do that because as we talked, that's As
we said earlier, it's a betrayal of trust.
However, now what we're talking about is sharing
that information
with an element of negativity or maliciousness.
What does that mean? It means that you're
sharing that information to bring someone down
or to cause some hurt to someone
or to damage their reputation even a little
bit. So some element of negativity
or maliciousness
will turn that information sharing into namima.
So my brothers and sisters, my friends, in
other words, we should keep silent
and refrain
from telling
others about anything negative that we see or
hear with regards to others.
Unless, there's an exception,
unless
speaking of it will bring some benefit
or will ward off some harm. And that
is the exception.
That is the exception. So the general rule
is you do not share anything about anyone
which is negative or harmful or bad about
them
Unless
there is a legitimate reason, unless there is
some benefit
in doing so, or it is going to
protect against some sort of harm. And that
is the exception once again.
And
when there's an exception, it must be only
done to the extent of the need.
What's the principle?
You have the basic default ruling.
And when there is an exception,
the exception is only to the extent of
the need. You don't go beyond what is
necessary and what is needed. So in case,
as an example, you need to share some
information
about someone. So someone comes to you and
ask about a third person and they're interested
in marrying them.
And you know that person or you know
their family that they're interested in marrying.
And you know something about them. That a
person who's getting married to them or getting
married into that family should know about. And
it's something which is somewhat negative. Or it
could be, you know, perceived,
understood as being negative or
harmful. But you have a responsibility there to
share that information with this person,
But you have a responsibility there to share
that information with this person because they don't
know, or someone's getting into a business transaction
with another person.
And they come to you because you know
that person, you've dealt with them before.
Then you have a responsibility
to share
whatever information is necessary
to help this person make an informed decision
whether they should marry that person or not,
whether they should engage in a business transaction
with that person or not. So whatever you
share, you share to the extent that is
necessary.
Right? Similarly, you come across some sort of
plan, some sort of discussion for something. If
it's gonna hurt other people as we've discussed
before, it's gonna harm others, then you do
have a responsibility to share it, to stop
that harm from happening.
But what you share should be limited to
whatever is relevant and whatever is necessary. The
Prophet
was also reported to have said, shall I
tell you about the most evil ones from
amongst you? So they said, of course, Surah
Allah. So he said, those who go around
with
They make enmity between friends,
and they seek problems for the innocent. You
know, so sharing information especially
with the intention of causing problems,
causing harm to someone
is especially especially
evil and prohibited.
Ibn Abbas
said that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
went out to one of the gardens of
Madinah,
and he heard the sounds of 2 people
who are being tormented, who are given adab
in their graves. May Allah protect us all.
Right? And the prophet was able to hear
the sound. And he said that they're being
punished, but they're not being punished for something
that was difficult to avoid. Meaning, they're not
being punished for something which was very great
in terms of, you know, their their involvement.
Like, they could have easily protected themselves. So
that was so it's not something,
that was difficult to avoid. But nonetheless, it
was a major sin.
One of them did not protect
himself from urine. Meaning meaning when he went
to the washroom, he did not take measures
to avoid contaminating himself or his clothes. So
he was careless
about his cleanliness, especially in relation to Najasa.
And the other used to walk about spreading,
used to go about spreading news about people,
sharing tales.
And
as we understand from the definition with probably
an element of negativity or maliciousness,
and the
prophet told us that that person was being
punished for that reason. May Allah protect us
all.
So my brothers and sisters, it goes without
saying that if there is such seriousness
of speaking about things that are true,
then
or slander making false accusations
is at the height of seriousness. We've talked
about different levels here.
We have the most serious at the top
which is making up
a false accusation or false news about someone.
And
this is not just for the one who
says these things by the way. It is
also in the the responsibility of the listener
to either stop it or go away.
Because the Prophet
said, if a man's Muslim brother is slandered
in his presence and he is capable of
defending him
and does so, Allah will defend him in
this world and in the next. But if
he fails to defend him, Allah will destroy
him in this world. And the next, may
Allah protect us all. So if you are
hearing something which is negative or wrong or
it's categorized as one of these things, try
to stop it if you can. Try to
change the subject if you can in a
nice way. But if you're not able to,
then try to pull yourself
out of that conversation so that you are
not a party
to this type of evil and this type
of sin. May Allah
enable us to protect our trusts including secrets.
May Allah
give us strength and understanding to avoid
backbiting and gossip and slander. May Allah
to give us the strength to stand up
against it when it happens and to protect
ourselves from all types of evil and haram.
Take a couple of minutes inshallah for some
of the prayers for those who wish to
do so. We will continue.