Shakiel Humayun – What Women Want 56th Sermon
AI: Summary ©
The responsibility of men in protecting their bodies is discussed, including the pressure of the world on men to take care of their bodies and the pressure of the world on men to take care of their bodies. This responsibility is given to men because they are providers, protectors, and caretakers of women. The responsibility is given to men because they spend from their wealth and women have a responsibility to pay bills and take care of their loved ones. The responsibility is also given to parents who have children and are not sure how to read a balance sheet. The importance of empowering men to protect and caretakers is emphasized, along with providing and protecting on an individual, family, and national level.
AI: Summary ©
Allah said to Adam,
oh Adam,
surely this shaytan
is an enemy for you
and for your wife,
So do not let him drive both of
you out of paradise.
And if you let him drive you out
of paradise,
you will suffer hardship.
Allah subhanahu
tasked Adam with
the job to protect
not just himself from shaitan,
but also to protect
his wife from shaitan.
Allah subhanahu
speaks about this responsibility
when he addresses Adam alaihi salam by speaking
about them both, Adam and Eve.
Don't let shaitan he's introducing shaitan as an
enemy
for you and your wife. Both of them.
So don't let him drive
both of you out of paradise.
And if you do let him drive you
out of paradise,
here Allah
shifts
from speaking about both of them to speaking
only about Adam,
alayhis salam,
where he says
that if you let shaitan
drive you out of paradise,
then you, Adam will suffer hardship.
Because is
in the Arabic language is singular.
If it meant about both of them, Allah
subhanahu would have said
And so
Shaitan drove them out of paradise
and they came
to this earth.
Now Adam alaihis salam,
not only did he have to protect himself
and his wife from from Shaitan as he
was tasked to do in paradise,
but now he has to protect
himself and his wife from the threats and
dangers of this world, the wildlife,
the weather, the climate, the torrential storms.
Not only that,
now he has to provide for his family.
He has to go out go out and
hunt and bring food,
where in paradise this was readily available.
Now he has to provide shelter.
Now he has to build a home.
All of that
is now
hardship
on Adam alaihislam,
on the man,
the luxury and pleasure
that was lost in paradise.
So from the first couple that set foot
on this earth, Adam and Eve,
it has now
been set
in the DNA
of the woman
that she wants to be cared for.
She wants to feel protected.
She wants to feel safe
because this is what Adam I summoned provided
for her
to a certain degree in paradise,
and then to a greater degree
due to the increased threats in this world.
And so
survey after survey,
women are asked
about what they want from men,
and
they say that they want to be cared
for.
They want to be protected.
They want to feel safe.
It's embedded
in their DNA since the time of Adam
and Eve.
Even in our post feminist
era,
where amongst
the most amongst women who have chosen to
live an extreme independent
lifestyle,
when they're asked,
they also answer and say they want to
be cared by men.
They want the man to hold the door
for them.
They want the man to share the umbrella.
They want the man to pay the bill
at the restaurant.
And so
this feeling that comes from the woman
is natural.
It's an in it's their from their innate
nature and Islam
recognizes this.
Unfortunately,
some Muslim cultures
due to colonization
and taking in
or adapting things from other cultures,
some Muslim cultures have degraded the status
of women
that Islam has placed. For example, some cultures,
they lost women lost the right to own
property because of because of because of colonialism.
Some cultures,
they practice reverse dowry, where in Islam the
man is the one who gives the dowry
upon marriage to the woman,
but there's reverse dowry where the woman is
required to give dowry to the man in
some cultures,
which is completely foreign
to Islam. So the man's family comes with
a list of demands,
bankrupting a lot of times many families who
have many daughters.
But Islam has it the other way around,
where the man is the one who gives
the dowry,
where the man who puts the money on
the table and says,
here
is a sign of my commitment,
where the man says this dowry signifies that
I will care for you. That this dowry
signifies
that I will protect you. It signifies
that I have financial ability, that I can
pay your bills.
And
so
Allah
said,
that men
are constantly
the
caretakers
and protectors
and providers
for women. Allah subhan'ala did not say Allah
subhan'ala did not say that men are caretakers,
providers,
and protectors of women.
He didn't
say He said
which is the emphatic form of the term,
which is
which means men are
constantly
so the translation must say constantly
protecting, constantly
taking care of,
constantly
paying the bills and expenses
of every single
of of their wives, of their of the
women in their family.
And so Islam has it
that a woman, when she's born, until she
dies,
she is constantly taken care of by the
men. She is not required to pay a
single bill.
If we look
at a Muslim woman's balance sheet,
upon her death, from birth to death,
the revenue income side can be whatever she
wants to make because she has independent ownership.
Then if we look at the expense side,
the required expenses she has to pay,
they'll be a big fat 0.
This is the balance sheet of a Muslim
woman.
And so a Muslim woman, when she's born,
her father takes care of her, protects her,
provides for her. When she gets married, the
responsibility
shifts to the husband
that he takes care of her, provides for
her.
And if she loses the father or the
husband, the next of kin stands
to take care of her. And if there
is no next in kin,
then the Muslim state stands
because
men in general take the responsibility
of taking care of women. If some women
don't have anyone to take care of them,
then the state takes care of them. A
woman is never left in Islam
to look at a bill and say, I
can't pay this bill. How am I gonna
pay this rent? How am I gonna buy
food? She's never ever put in a position
where she has to
make those decisions.
Why? Why men
are given this responsibility?
Allah answers
that.
They're given this responsibility
because they spend
from their wealth.
Allah didn't say men are constantly the providers,
protectors, and caretakers of women.
Therefore,
men, you should spend from your wealth. Uh-uh.
Allah said that you should do that because
they spend from their wealth. Allah gives historical
evidence that from day 1,
the the from the day that man set
foot on this earth, he has been spending,
has been providing.
It's historically
set to be the way that men are
the providers,
protectors and caretakers are women. So men are
hardwired to protect the family.
And women have it in their DNA that
they want to be cared for, protected,
and feel safe.
So the idea
that a man says to his wife,
I give you 50%
of my responsibilities,
that idea is oppression.
The idea that a man says, let's split
the bills 5050. When we go to the
restaurant, you pay half, I pay half. Let's
split the bill.
Look, the electric bill came in 5050. Everything's
5050.
Protection 5050. The first night when the dude
comes banging on the window midnight, I'll go
check. Next time it happens, you go check
and protect the family.
That's oppression.
A woman has menstrual cycles.
A woman goes through 9 months of pregnancy.
A woman experiences childbirth.
A woman nourishes a child for up to
2 years. All this per
child.
And then on top of that, for a
man to say, take 50% of my responsibilities
and add that to you,
that's an oppression.
So serious is this,
that Islam
has made it that if a man is
not a true man,
he doesn't provide protect
for his wife and his family.
The wife has the grounds to walk away
from the marriage
simply just for that reason. That's how serious
Islam is in protecting
and caring for women.
So parents who have sons,
we can't have our sons
graduate from high school and don't know what
it means to earn a dollar.
We can't have our males
graduate from college
and have no idea
how to read a balance sheet.
No financial intelligence.
No idea how to balance a household budget.
It's our responsibility
as parents to train
our sons to be true men
who understand what it means to take on
responsibility
to provide
and to protect.
To what level
are we to take care of women?
The prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam demonstrated
this level.
When him when he and his companions
were travelling one day with women, on camels,
they were travelling.
And they had at that time camel drivers
who would
push
the camels
when they would be in groups,
And these camel drivers will be skilled
in managing the speed of the camel.
They would know what to sing and how
to sing and the camels would react to
their singing.
That if they sang a certain way, the
camels will go faster.
And so, one of the camel drivers,
and Jesha,
was singing and the camel started moving fast.
And so the other camels followed and they
were moving fast.
And back then the females would travel on
camels if you can imagine a seat that
is covered with cloth and there'll be females
in there and the camels carrying this,
contraption.
And imagine the camels are now moving fast
and imagine the females inside being jostled around
and bouncing around because of the speed of
the camels.
So the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, came
to Anjesha.
He said,
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam came to Anjasha
and said, Oh Anjasha,
slow down.
Go gently.
And then,
how fast? What does gently mean? What should
the speed be? The prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam
used a metaphor,
so Anjesha could understand the speed.
He says,
go gently as if on those camels you
had delicate
glass vessels
at such a speed that those glass vessels
should not vibrate
and hit one another and crack or break.
This is the amount of care the prophet
had for women that he did not want
them to feel any discomfort
in such a travel.
And so Islam, if we study the fiqh
of Islam, we see that throughout
wherever the responsibility
of protecting and providing came, it relieved
the women of this heavy responsibility
and placed it on the men.
And this is why in Islam,
a woman is not allowed to be the
head of state
because it's the job of the head of
state to protect and provide.
Not to put the women
as heads of states into battle at the
front lines.
Not under the threat of assassination.
Not to deal with political upheaval.
Not to deal with the pain and headache
of running
an economy.
All of that when it comes to providing
and protecting on an individual level, it's on
demand. On a family level, it's on demand.
On a community level, it's on demand. On
a national level, it's upon the men to
protect and provide the society.
This doesn't mean
that women are not able to be heads
of state.
This doesn't mean
that women are not able
to be presidents and national leaders.
They are.
As the Koran demonstrated,
Bilqis, the queen of Sheba,
with her wise decisions, how she successfully
managed
to lead herself and her nation
into success by saving them from war.
By saving them from war and leading them
to Islam.
So women can be successful leaders, but in
Islam,
the innate nature of the woman is not
to carry that responsibility, but it's her innate
nature to want to
to when the next bill
is due for rent
or house payments.
This is
for men who are hardwired
to tackle
these
activities.
Yes. It's a hardship for men. Yes. It's
a responsibility,
but the pleasure of seeing that a that
your that our women are being taken care
of
and are safe
for true men.
Those hardships
are not then felt.
Especially,
when we do it for Allah Subhana.
Especially,
when we see it as an act of
worship. The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
said,
The prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam said,
The dinar which was the currency, the gold
coin at that time.
A dinar that you spend for the path
of Allah
and the dinar that you spend to free
a slave
and the dinar that you spend, that you're
given charity for a needy person
and the dinar that you spend on your
family,
the greatest reward out of all of these
is the dinar that you spend on your
family.
So as men, there's tremendous rewards
in fulfilling this responsibility.
I ask Allah
to mix amongst those
who fulfill our responsibility of being true men.
Ask Allah enable
us and parents
to raise true men
in our communities
who can take on these responsibilities.
May Allah subhanah guide us all to what
is correct.