Shaista Maqbool – Menstruation in the Seerah
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Welcome, everyone, to today's session in Womb Wellness
Week.
I'm your host, Chantal Blake, founder of Honored
Womb, author of Peaceful Periods. And today, I
have the honor of introducing you to Sheikh
Hashaisdem Aboul, who will be with us today
for a discussion
around menstruation in the sierra.
Sheikha Shaista has studied in Damascus, Syria for
10 years,
advanced Islamic sciences in the fields of fiqh,
sierra, tafsir,
Hadid, Aqidah,
as well as studying the Shafi'i
and Maliki Ahmedahib.
However, her specialty is in the Hanafi Matheb,
and she is authorized to teach in Gifatawah
in this school.
She is an expert
Shamael Eterminity 8 times, Sahih Bukhari 3 times.
So she has been honored and privileged to
have access to a high level of Islamic
scholarship, especially for women and especially for non
native speakers of Arabic for English speaking
American women to have,
gathered and benefited from,
traditional knowledge. It's such an honor to have
her.
With all of that she studied and experienced,
her number one passion is really to connect
women to the sierra
and to connect women to the prophets
and to really feel deeply connected to the
deen and seeing how Allah elevates us, not
oppresses us, you know, in our faith. So,
inshallah, we are gonna just get right into
the topic. So first, I'll welcome you. Assalamu
alaikum.
How are you today?
I'm so excited to be here and the
topic, it's, something that I think it's a
great topic. So, alhamdulillah.
And I
I
love that all of the topics that you
teach are so
rooted in this idea of really connecting women
to Islam, connecting women to Allah, and knowing
that the Seerah has lessons uniquely for us
as Muslim women, as well as generally for
all of us as believers.
So I wanted to open with a conversation,
that we've started.
Earlier this year, I had shared a workshop
that I taught called Your Period as a
Sign of Allah. And one of the comments,
the first comment that was posted beneath it
was b s, Islam hates women.
And if I was if I saw this
comment from a
non Muslim,
I wouldn't think too much of it, but
this was coming from an apparently or possibly,
a person raised in Islam.
And I really wanna speak to how have
we really internalized
or how have some Muslim women
internalized this idea that being a Muslim woman
is not as advantageous
or is not at the same spiritual ranking
as being a Muslim man?
First
So that question is,
it's so, like, triggering for me because this
is yes. This is, like, what,
I feel like that is my goal in
life now to kind of convince
women,
Muslim women, that they are
as they are worthy. They that Allah
loves them. And
we have come so far from,
our deen to come to this understanding that
we are less,
because it is not it it's so far
where is you know? So, one of the
things that what I'm doing with my revival
course, it is,
it is, talking about reviving Medina and society,
and
it's specifically with, it's, of course, for women.
And to get back that,
that that deen, that iman, not just the
iman that the women had, the sahabiyat,
but that confidence and the peace
and that that knowing that they're they're worth.
You know? Just recently, I posted a a,
and I mentioned this at so I'm doing
the the girls' class,
and I mentioned it in that class as
well, just the hadith of Haram
where the prophet said, and he visit her,
and, you know, he went to he took
a nap, and then he woke up. When
he woke up, he he was smiling, and
she asked him, why do you smile? And
he said, I saw a group of my
ummah
going out as,
as fighters in the in the way of
Allah. And she said, make dua that I'm
from them. Oh, he said he they were
on the sea on the sea, and she
said, make dua that I'm from them. And
he said, you are from them. And then
he went took an, took another nap, and
he woke up again. Same thing. He was
smiling. She asked him why you're smiling, and
she said he said, I saw a group
of my ummah,
on the,
fighting in the way of Allah. And he
said, make dua. I'm of them, and he
said, you are from the first one.
And just this,
idea of that, the prophet
said that he didn't, you know, first of
all, she had this in her
that she never thought like, oh, no. I
wish I could be, but I can't. Or
she she immediately she's like, oh, I wanna
be from there. I wanna be from that
group.
She never had that
idea that she she couldn't be or she
couldn't do something. And this is talking about
this on the sea. This is something not
common to do, like, going out to sea
it. You know?
And, this idea so that that now we've
come to a place
where we are so we don't even know
if we are,
you know, our our state with
Allah, you know, and all these these ahadith
that I feel like when we read the,
you know, there's a hadith where, like, oh,
we we we swoon over them, like, oh,
the prophet never
he was never asked something that he said
no to, but we never apply those to
our to our households.
You know? Oh, he never was asked anything
that he said no to, but when we
come home, it's like, well, then there are
no men. You know? They become the the
men become no men to their wives. Where
is that applied to our households?
And everything that we have, the,
the characteristics we know about our prophet, we
know for a fact
that it was more so, and it's hard
to imagine because we he gave so much
to his companions.
So how is it more so to his
wives? But we know
it was more so to his wives because
that was what he taught. He said the,
the closer one is more rightful to your
goodness, has more right to your goodness. Right?
That's what he taught. So if he,
outside of his companions, are seeing this wonderful
man,
this amazing, wonderful,
caring, kind man, right, he how he was
lame, he was easygoing.
So is he gonna come home and be
austere now?
Right?
So Right? And he was the so the
most loved the most the people who got
the most love and the most whenever someone
asked him, he would say,
like, he would say, I'm at your service.
Would he not do that at home? Was
that just reserved for a a sahaba? No.
You know? So it's like the this idea
of just lifting women up, recognizing their worth
and their their the way that the prophet
raised them and honor them and love them.
And then, you know, even that of, like,
in indeed the one who is the most,
the the the the merit of each one
of you is by taqwa.
We forget that. We're like, oh, if the
merit is oh, that it's like we relegate
that just to the men. So, you know,
women yes. Women, we can vie with the
men in that to be better than them.
And we have that. Allah
gave us that, you know, this
it's means like that that that that place
that we can vie with each other,
as believing men and believing women. There's no,
and so but in my,
I I I hear you when you say,
you know, when you get these messages because
that is I see so much of our
community in that place,
and, you know, that is why,
I feel like it's so important to
to expose women to the to real and
to the sunnah and the hadith. Go back
to that. And,
and really, my my advice to women who
are,
struggling
with
with certain ahadith because I know that there
are ahadith or aayats that,
are used to
not not to not used for the point
that they were meant.
They're not used to elevate and list lift
women and help women because for every single
thing that the prophet
said,
it was for
for benefit.
And
these hadith, they were often unfortunate. They used
to to suppress and oppress women, and so
we have
to recognize if a woman is in that
state
to to not read these ahadith or not
take these ahadith or ayat with a voice
of,
like, an,
an oppressor, you know, and
with the most,
loving from coming from a most loving place,
like, who is the most loving person to
you, your like, your mother, most caring, that
has the most,
Hear it from her, and how would she
say it to you with what kind of
love and goodness and goodwill would she say
to you? And then we try to multiply
it that a 1000 times because it came
from our
prophet.
Yeah. That's my I think
advice. Yeah.
Yeah. Because, again, like you said, this disconnect
between this character we see outside
and assume is for the public, but
translating that, like, how would he not be,
sallallahu alaihi wasallam? Like, how would the prophet
not be as kind and compassionate and loving
to his closest ones in the household? I
think there's another big disconnect that I'm seeing
between household what households are doing and what
the siddah,
represents, and that has a lot to do
with menstruation, which is the focus of our
topic.
We know in households today that girls, when
they get their first period, 1, they're not
prepared.
Mhmm. 2, they're told to hide any traces
of it. There can be no trace,
no sight, no scent, no anything. No one
must know. No male relative, not even your
father or your brother can even be aware
that you menstruate. So you need to pretend
to pray.
You need to pretend to fast. Yes, ma'am.
And this really is it happens, and it's
still happening in certain cultures, certain Muslim communities.
So can you speak to
what would a how would the prophet, sallallahu
alaihi wasallam, respond to that first period? How
did he respond to 1st periods? How did
he respond to his wife menstruating?
How can we bridge the gap between what
people are actually doing because of their cultural
norms and what prophetic guidance would advise?
Yeah. Definitely. So we know of how he,
salawat, he said, responds to the first period
because we have the, hadith of,
So she was a a young girl,
and,
let me just pull up that Hadith. Yeah.
She she was a young girl, and this
is before she started her period.
And what happened is she she asked the
prophet
her and a group of women. She wants
to go out with the prophet
to Khaybar
and, you know, so they can help the
wounded or any way they can. That's what
she said. Anyway, it will help any way
they can, and the prophet
his response was,
which I love the response. This is just
he's like,
but with the blessing of Allah come. And
so she said she she went out, and
she said,
you know, I was a young girl. And
she said, so the master of Allah
had me sit with him on his same
writing,
animal, and he had me sit on the
part of the where the luggage was, so
the bags.
And so she said she went she was
sitting on the bags, and so they made
a stop.
And she said when when,
I was about to get off,
she saw, traces of blood. So this was
her first period.
And so she said, I got really,
I got really,
shy. She she said, I,
she she held on
to the,
to the camel. And so she covered her
she kind of leaned over and held on
to the camel, and she was embarrassed.
And the messengers,
and when he saw that, he he saw
the blood. He said, perhaps you got your
period,
and she said yes.
And,
then so he says to her, he's just
very,
you know, matter of fact and calm his
calm manner, he
says, just go and fix yourself up
and,
get a,
a jug of water and put put some
salt in it and wash
wash that part of the bag and come
back. And so he's instructing her very so
fatherly like. Right? What have you what do
you see when, you know, if you're but
not saying, oh, you know, scolding or rip
nothing negative. So, just go do what you
need to do. And there's so much that
we, I get from this hadith. Let me
first, I'll finish the hadith. So, she says
after they had victory over Khaybar, the prophet
he gave her a necklace
and he she says she says he and
he put it on for me with his
own hands. Mhmm. And,
she would always wear this necklace, and she
had it,
buried with her
when she passed away. But this is like,
some some of some people will say this
is like the necklace
of your first kind of, like, the first
period. This is like a gift of her
first period, you know, almost like,
that it it came at that same time.
So there's so many things that we can
get from this hadith, but one of them
is that
even though she was embarrassed,
she,
it doesn't mean that she, she didn't know
what her period was. Like, she wasn't mortified.
Right? She was embarrassed, but she was not
mortified. Like, she and when he asked her,
did you get your period? She said yes.
So she knew what a period was.
Right? She was not completely,
like clueless. And this is important because I
know that some girls'
women, you know, when they get their when
they've gotten their first period, they're like, what
am I dying? You know, is this what
is going on? I'm bleeding for places I'm
not supposed to be because they don't even
know what a period is. And so, you
know,
she
knew. So she's involved.
She knows that she's she's a woman. She
knows what's happening to her. So she is
embarrassed.
I think, first of all, she's with the
prophet,
so this is something natural, but you see
his, like, calming
presence. And matter of fact, in teaching, like,
okay. If this happened, go fix yourself up
and,
go, you know, clean this off. And this
is he he tells her exactly. He says,
take some take some salt, put it in
water, and then just wash it off. You're
you're fine, you know, and come back. He
didn't say, you know, go now. Go with
the women. He said, come back. Don't don't
worry about it. It's okay. So this,
just this calming
force and just,
this attitude is of like,
another hadith where we see that the prophet
talking to say the Aisha when she was
she was crying. She had this is the
only Hajj that he did. So they're going
on Hajj and they she had intended to
do Hajj and Umrah.
Now so the prophet
he comes in and she's she's crying.
And,
he asked her what's wrong. She said and
she says what's wrong is that I've got
my period.
And and he says to her, this is
a thing which Allah has ordained for the
daughters of Adam.
And so do what all pilgrims do except
the the law of and then, you know,
so he instructs her what to do, but
also like telling her this is something that's
written for you. It's not
it's not something, you know, it's not bad.
It's not negative. It's not it's not a
it's not a, it's not, you're not unclean.
It's not a, you know, impurity in that
sense that your self is an impurity, right?
The prophet another time that another of the
Sahaba,
he was Junub
And, he he says in the state of
major impurity, meaning that you can't recite Quran.
You have to take a hussan before,
before reciting Quran. But he says to so
he didn't want to say salam to the
prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam. He saw the prophet
salallahu alayhi wasalam.
And
the prophet he's looking for him. He said,
where were you? Oh, Abu Horeira, where were
you? He said, I was Jonah, but I
didn't wanna say to you. He said, indeed,
the is
not nudges.
Mhmm. Not nudges. He's not filthy.
Meaning, you can still say, you can still
talk, you can sit with me even. Right?
The prophet
he used to recite Quran in the lap
of say the Aisha, and she was when
she was,
in her head,
when she was in her menstruation.
You know, the closeness and there's some really
endearing ahadith, you know, just
beautiful ahadith that the prophet
how he
showed just extra, like, almost extra love to
say the Aisha when she had her period.
And I wanna mention that this point about
women hiding their period. This is, first of
all, to
to pray when you're not when you don't
even have wudu, it's it's actually it's sinful.
If these people, you know, if you
know that it's sinful, that it's haram to
do that. It's totally haram to do that.
And
so that there's that's nowhere in our deep.
Anybody encouraging that. That's that's totally wrong. And
I've even heard so I had the blessing
of going to one of my shoe.
He's he was considered the sheikh of the
shiur. He was an older sheikh. So I
studied with him for a short period of
time, and he passed away.
But, one one of these times when I
I had gone to visit him, I believe
it so it was Ramadan, I believe.
I had gone to visit him and,
and he,
I was actually not I was not fasting.
I was,
so that was one of the reasons too.
I was like, oh, it's a good time
to visit. I think, you know, when I
was not fasting, but And I said, no.
And so they got some food for me.
And I kind of felt I did feel
embarrassed. I'll be honest. I felt embarrassed. I
was like, oh my goodness, you know?
So his his wife and his
daughter got
got some food for me. And so this
is
but she what her his daughter said to
me, she said, you know, my father encouraged
us when we were not,
we're not we're not praying to eat. But
he said, let the the rulings of the
Sharia be be apparent. Let them be apparent
that you are not praying, so you are
not you're eating and you're not praying. You're
not you're not you're on your period, so
you don't you don't fast. And this is
something meaning, it's something that should be known
that okay. Like, my sons, they're going to
know that
there are times when
myself and my daughter, we don't pray. And
that's
don't bug us about, oh, come and pray.
Come and pray. It's time to pray.
You didn't pray yet. No. No. That's not
no. Say, oh, oh, it's the time. Oh,
it's your time. Okay. Just and then the
and with that, they have to know to
be kinder
and to be more merciful and to be,
you know,
give us more slack. Right? Because they know
that these these rulings, so they understand.
So that understanding, it's been so, this is
part of our team because this is what
the prophet taught, you know, from,
we know from other
Hadith where he would, when the prophet would
say to Aisha, she mentioned when she was
menstruating.
She mentioned that this is what happened when
she was menstruating.
She said,
that when when I was meant when I
was, when I was menstruating, the prophet
would take the cup that I drank from,
and he would turn it and drink from
the exact same spot.
And he said he she would take the,
bone that I ate from, and again, turn
it to the exact same spot that she
ate from and eat from that spot.
And I was like, it's when when I
read that Hadid, I'm I just melt. Right?
I'm like, this is so
it's so sweet, but it's also
there's so much understanding of women I feel
in that
because,
yes, when when women do have,
our people when we are on our period,
we have we do get moody. We will
get, you know, we get this the things
that are, like, biologically
normal. Right? So,
just to kind of
show that extra love that
however you are, I love you. You know?
Like,
you're you're in that state and and showing
that how it's
if
definitely
so far from being impure
that the prophet
is drinking from the exact same spot and
eating from the exact same spot. What is
that showing? Just like so much it's so
it's so loving. It's just
filling that cup of love.
Right? For say the.
And so,
just so many, like, likewise, things like that
in this in this that we have to
bring to the
bring out and for
doing that here and just bringing that out
that, you know, women can connect to and
say, you know,
hey. This is this is a time, yeah,
that I have
my period that I'm I'm obligated to not
pray.
Right? You're obligated to not pray,
but in that,
there is reward.
In that obligation to not pray. And I
say this is the only time
where
we were somebody can we're actually getting the
reward of prayer
when we're not praying.
Mhmm. And so Allah
is it's just so it's just a it's
we're lucky in that sense that we're we're
we're blessed that Allah recognizes
where we're at and you know even in
the Quran Allah
calls it an other. It he calls it
a harm, a hurt, you know, that that,
when they ask you about menstruation, she said
it's an it's a hurt, meaning it's an
other or it's something that's you know, it's
not comfortable.
And so to understand that when we have
this
menstruation,
we have less
Allah makes it easier for us. Okay. No,
you don't have to pray and don't even
make it up. Right?
So to understand that and
to,
you know, so we when we understand that
Allah's is doing that, we should hope that
other
others treat us likewise. Right? Not expect you
know, just take,
you know,
calm down during these times, you know, not
being on such high,
you know, keep going or expectations,
you know, have,
have a little less on our plate during
these times. Right? So,
just going back to in terms of praying
and fasting, you know, it should be known
within our households that we,
a woman is not,
is on her period, so she doesn't do
these things. So it should be something that
and not shameful
because it just like the our prophet
said, it's something that Allah has written for
the daughters of Adam. Meaning, you know, it's
it's it's nothing to be ashamed of, and
it actually
we benefit from it that, you know, we're
not we don't we're not expected to do
pray or fast, but we get the rewards
for it. And so to teach our girls,
you know, you guys are lucky. Let's protect
and take care of you. You know, you
don't you don't have to.
You're not obliged to do this. You're, you
know, you take rest, take care of your
bodies,
and you get the reward, I hope. You
know, the,
because even in Ramadan, I saw that a
lot online, this lamenting, like, oh, no. I'm
I'm missing the 1st week of Ramadan, or
I'm missing the 1st day of Ramadan because
of having their period
and not,
and there were so many people like, you
too, me too. And it wasn't and it
and I was looking at it, obviously, because
I always, I'm in the world of periods.
I'm like, wow. All of you are cycling
with the new lunar cycle. Like, that's actually
a sign of a regular period for some
people. If you're cycling
with a new moon, that means you're having
like a 28, 29 day cycle, which is
actually
not a bad thing at all. But it
was interesting. They were just like, I'm missing
Ramadan because I'm I'm not fasting. And I
was like, well, you're alive. You're not missing
Ramadan. You're you're there are all these
other ways to be in worship, and I
think that's that challenge is is is the
worship the doing or the being? Like, do
you see your worship as a state or,
like, a transaction or, like, a a thing
that you do to get a plus or
or a grade? You know? Yeah. I love
that. I love that. What you just said
that you are alive because you have Ramadan.
Exactly. Ramadan is a time. It's not fasting.
It's not just fasting because there are people
who are too sick. And obviously, if you
have a period or if you've just given
birth,
and there's so many, you know, there's reasons
for people don't fast, but that doesn't mean
the blessing, the light, the nur, the barakah
of Ramadan is not there. Right? And so
you've experienced it. And then this idea, yes,
of just
we're so kind of like,
I want I want to be sure I'm,
you know, I don't want to be on
my period during the last 10 days, you
know. Okay. That's when everybody gets hit the
hardest, right? When you're on your period in
the last 10 days, but it's like
there's, you know, if you if you're if
we're in this,
if we're in this understanding that there's so
much a bad
we are worshipers of Allah. We're not worshipers
of Ramadan. Mhmm. Right? Right?
We're worshipers of Allah.
We worship Allah even in our period, in
our period, in our not fasting, in our
not praying, that's worship.
In our
you know, I I instead of, you know,
I I I instead of, you know, being
upset, embrace it. Now you got and, you
know, every time when I when I'm on
my period, I'm like, oh, I get to
do Ibad
that I don't normally do. 'll do that
I don't normally do. I'll read read other
things that I don't normally do, which is
this time is, I'm like, oh, I get
to do I get to do a bad
debt that I don't normally do. I'll do
that I don't normally do. I'll do that
I don't normally do. I'll do that I
don't normally do. I'll read read other things
that I don't normally do, which is this
time is, I'm
I think I was in praying and
I was home with
my my daughter. She's,
she's 3 at the time. So, she just
wanted to play and I took a picture
of me,
of the fake food that we were making,
you know, because but that was my worship,
and I I feel like it's that is
worship for me to connect with my daughter
and have her connected to me,
so that I can,
inshallah, raise her with, you know, you know,
kind of inculcate in her that love of
Allah and love of the deen that I
want her to get for me. It's not
gonna come if I'm just, like,
if I ignore her or if I'm just
reading all day, you know, it's not going
to come. And this so my playing with
her, that was my worship on that first
day. And, of course, so many days after
that too. You have to. Right? So,
just to embrace, like, this idea of as
worshiping Allah
and not worshiping a certain at a certain
time or a certain way that there's so
many ways. And it's a state of being.
I love that how you said that as
to say it of being with Allah
because he looks at your heart. Ultimately, it's
your heart. Where's your heart at? Right? Where's
your heart at? The the outward is just,
you know, it's just a shell. Right? But
where is your heart? And there could be
people who are so involved in dunya because
they have to be. They're so involved in
dunya because,
you know, that's the only way they're gonna
survive or their families gonna
survive. But and so they, you know, they're
they have little time for doing extra
or extra fasting or extra anything.
But where is their heart? Their heart can
be connected to to rup'alatomy,
the Lord of the worlds and you know
more than
somebody who is involved
in dhikr and in the masjid, you know.
So.
Yeah. I love that. I love that. Because
again, you know, just just really coming back
to the state that you're in,
is so incredibly important. And I think I
love how, Sheikha Tamara Gray always talks about,
like, the week.
I love how that's becoming popularized culturally because
it's interesting even on a hormonal level.
The part of your brain that corresponds with
intuition
is more active
when you're menstruating.
So hormonally, we actually do lend ourselves.
Our brains are primed for really deep intuition
and analysis and introspection.
That was something we were exploring
in the honored womb circle in Ramadan. It's
like instead of thinking, okay, Ramadan, I have
to do the same thing. A successful Ramadan
is I do the same thing every single
day
as if your period is not gonna come
at some point. Instead, you know, know what
time in your menstrual cycle you do have
a better memory. So that's a great time
for hips, the memorization.
Know when you have more energy and you
are burning calories a little slower, so it's
a good time for and
fasting. Know when it's a good time for
that deep intuition and introspection
and fiqh.
And so, you know, I think that
we still have some ways to go in
that campaign from the fiqh week to
really cross
cycle syncing our Ibad as well, which is
something Lestade Ife talks a lot in her
work as well, that we can even go
further and know that there's certain acts of
worship that are gonna be more effortless
when our hormones are aligned for certain actions
and at other times in different phases. I
wanted to come back to, if you don't
mind, the idea of the menstruation as
And there was, I know people have asked
me before is is the because I know
in that eye, it talks about relations, marital
relations during *.
So is it is it that is that
the Is there an opinion that it's referring
to both?
Can you
both in terms of what? In in in
and of
itself? Menstruation and of itself as and or
marital relations during menstruation.
Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So,
that no. Allah when Allah
said that, when they asked you about,
menstruation,
that it is,
it is
it can be, actually, the both opinions can
be they're they're valid in terms of menstruation
is a a that in itself. It you
can look at it as that. Or even
because when they're asking about menstruation, the men
aren't asking
about menstruation. They're asking about, you know, relations
during menstruation.
So that is also,
so both of them are,
understandings
are valid. So,
we can say that and this is one
of the reasons that,
just recently when,
not so recently, but earlier this year,
that there's I've changed kind of, like, my
fiqh, teaching my fiqh,
in terms of just sticking to the Hanafi,
school, whereas
or just kind of, making it more
possible or making more, available
for women to take from the other schools
because of actually, this was one of the
reasons that,
when I was taking
talking to my sheikh,
Javier Lulla, he says, you know, in the
Hanafi school, there could be times or and
and in general, in any in the fiqh,
there could be times when you're technically on
your period. You're actually on your period biologically,
but you're not according to the fiqh.
And so,
what happens is that you're considered in your
wrong blood according to fiqh, and then, you
know, you are allowed to have *
during that time.
But because it is your biological
period,
and this is why,
Sheikh Samad said he suggested that that women
who are in that situation,
they take another opinion
because so that this doesn't occur. Like, so
they can avoid,
you know, having
this understanding that, you know, when Allah says
it's you know, it is a harm, and
in this particular,
time, you know, to do to for for
* to happen, that it is a harm
during this particular time. And that's why,
you know, just that suggestion of, you know,
taking another opinion so that you don't have
you're not tied down
to,
to an opinion that you actually
have to
or you feel like,
you
like you have to have * when you're
actually on your biologic period. So there is,
there is that, you know, understanding that, yes,
you know, if you are on your biologic
period,
you are you you should,
you should not be having *.
You know? So there is, like,
because it is a harm.
So but, you know, in answer to your
question, there are,
both of the, opinions like, the both of
the understandings
would it wouldn't be incorrect.
They would be,
correct.
Thank you for clarifying that.
So to conclude,
I think you did a really great job
of of showing how the Sierra
doesn't model,
this idea of period shame, right, Hiding,
embarrassment, or feeling shame about the period.
I would suggest that on the other spectrum,
so we have shame, we have the absence
of shame, right? But I feel like on
the other spectrum, we have celebration.
Where do we see the period celebrated
in the ciara? I think the example you
gave about,
receiving the necklace, right, the in the accounts
of the young girl receiving a necklace, like,
that gift giving is a part of celebration.
Can you tell us about the women of
Medina and and other examples of of celebration
in the ciara?
Yes. So,
this I heard from,
one of my shioshai.
To protect him and give him good health.
He, mentioned to me that,
the Ansar women used to have period parties.
So,
when they,
I guess, when,
it's not mentioned in details what they used
to do, but I guess we can, you
know, just
I'm assuming that, you know, when a woman
came of age, a girl came of age,
they would just get together and have a
party for her, which I thought that was
really cool.
Just, you know, celebrating
her coming into,
you know, womanhood or celebrating her getting her
first period,
And that is a sign of her becoming
a woman. Right?
And,
and just personally, I know that, you know,
even back in Syria there when a girl
would wear her hijab
There we had these hijab parties, and that's
something that I got from, I was just
attending hijab parties when they, first started wearing
girls starting wearing hijab.
So just this kind of, just celebrating coming
of age, celebrating their,
you know, transition from being a girl to,
to a woman.
And,
so, yeah, definitely not shaming,
but, you know, we do have that,
in the in the sera that they would
have, like, these
period parties
and, you know, just
celebrate celebrate that. We don't, I mean, we
don't know the details, but even this the
narration that I mentioned to you about
that it was taken as well. We can
take that as well as just, like, giving
a gift to a girl who's just,
you know, gotten her period. And also, you
know, just I feel like that in that
where he gave her that necklace,
there is
that, like, acknowledgement
and that,
you know, just
comforting. You know? Just like, oh, she she
kind of went through something that she was
embarrassed about or she was
maybe she had you know, she she felt
negative about, but just giving her something positive,
you know, to that she held on to
for the rest of her life. So,
I feel like that is our,
that is definitely our he is our example.
Right? Of course.
Awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much, for
your time. Can you just let our audience
know,
where they can find more of your work,
how they can study with you, and, again,
revive and
feel this deep connection to the Sierra and
to the dean as you envision?
Yeah. Of course. So I'm at, nahrma.org
online.
Actually, I do want to mention another,
narration that I,
neglected to mention. Oh, I I mentioned some
of that, but,
one of the things that,
that I wanted to talk about just in
terms of how to revive this in our
communities and what I would
what I want to see more of in
in,
you know, in our households is just
to this care and like, more care and
concern. And one of one of the things
that you also mentioned that how we,
kind of make our
along with our
with our periods,
but it's also there's something I learned from
my coach, Sarah Maddock. She would she would
encourage just making our whole kinda schedule
and around our,
so even work, like, okay. We know
where,
where where when,
like, periods ends, we have we have more
energy around that time. So to to to
put to schedule, like, the, like, the harder
stuff at that time and to recognize from,
that that our families and in our households,
we recognize that when a woman is on
her period,
that they're you know, treat her with that
kind of care and concern
and accommodating. This is the hadith that I
wanted to mention is that when, say, the
Aisha, when she mentions that she was on
her she got her period when they were
on Hajj.
So the prophet
says to her, okay. Just, you know,
don't do the law. Do everything else. And
at the end, she says to him, you
know, everybody's going back with Hajj and Amra
because she had made intention for Amra.
And she's,
and he said, I'm only going back with
Hajj and he said, no, you're you're the
law. He explained to her or he tried
to explain to her that her was for
her a hedge and Amra for both of
them. And she says, for both of them.
And she says, and in one narration, it
says she she refused.
And she was like and in another, she
says, I have something in my heart. Like,
I don't, you know, she was still sad
about it. And he says, okay. And so
he had her brother
and do another umrah. So she actually got
2 umrahs where everybody else got one, but
technically she wanted to do that extra tawaf.
But here, you know, this idea of just
accommodating,
accommodate your women. You know, the prophet
he
had to wait for her. Then he's like,
okay, meet me over there. He he and
he had
100 like thousands of people with him.
What did he do? He he said, you
know, he took care of her. He took
care of
her. Right? And so the accommodating, the care,
the concern, the extra the extra love that
he would show to her during when she
had her period.
And also mat, and it was in the
Masjid. And she said, oh, I'm on your
period. And he said, your period is not
in your hand. So, eliminating
to understanding that, you know, so in the
scholars say she just had to
reach into the masjid because of course her
house was connected to the masjid, not necessarily
that she went into the masjid. And some
say like the Shafi'i, they say it's okay
to just go into the masjid and come
back out. But nobody says it's okay to
stay in the mushroom when you're on your
period, but you know, just to grab something
and come back out. It's okay. So,
but to to understand that he said, you
know, it's not in your hand, meaning you're
not you're not completely impure. Just just go
in and come out. It's just it's relegated
to what the the dean relegated to, right?
That it's not. Okay. Yeah.
We're
not.
We don't pray.
We don't fast.
But it's not that our whole body is
right for. Right? We still obviously, we're gonna
we're gonna cook food. Everybody wants us to
cook food still. Right?
So, you know,
but treat us with that
kind of extra care and concern like how
our prophet
would show that extra love to say that
Ayesha and extra, you know,
understanding,
you know, and accommodating. And that's what I
would love to see just bringing back the
those
in
our households and this understanding that, yes, there's
times when women don't pray. And, you know,
if especially if she's going through like, if
it's if she's if it's like, if she's
in pain or something to understand that this
is, you know, give her a slack not
give her more on her plate, you know,
to understand that. Okay. This is not a
time where we're not gonna have guests at
this time. You know, like, things like that.
You know, that consideration. Okay. We can't have
guests at the time because
or if you wanna have guests, order order
out. Order down.
Or accommodate for your women. Mhmm. So just,
you know, consideration. Just it's prophetic. It's prophetic.
Definitely. You notice that bringing it back and
recognize as women,
it's, you know, this is perhaps to the
men, you know, to be accommodating, but as
women
to recognize we
we
we are entitled. We are worthy of that
accommodation.
We are worthy of that. And if if
we are not getting it, seek it,
Expect it. Ask for it. You know? Seek
it out because if you don't ask for
it, you're not gonna get it. You know?
If you're we're if you're used to if
people are used to treating you, oh, like,
oh, it doesn't matter what you're going through,
They're going to continue that until you say,
you know what?
You know, I'm not feeling well. I need
to rest. So do that. So that's that's
another thing that you are entitled to. You
have to take care of your body. This
is an a manna for you.
So take care of it. Take care of
it. That those hadith about, you know, your
body being an emana, they're not just for
the men. They're for us.
Our bodies, Allah
cares about our bodies as well.
Exactly. To set those boundaries, like,
what came up for me when you narrated
that, when you shared that narration about our
mother Aisha
was that
he listened.
Like, he didn't silence. She said what she
felt. She said, there's something in my heart.
And he let her own that,
and,
like, responded accurately. He didn't say, No, you're
just being silly, or, No, you're being emotional,
or belittling her. And I think that's such
a powerful lesson too.
And as you said, giving ourselves more commission
to speak up
and to set those boundaries because
I find that if you're if you're in
a loving household and in loving relationships, people
will respect that if you say it. But
you have to first say it and say,
you know what I need right now? I
need a nap, and I need some rest
so that I can show up in the
way that I want to in my worship
and in my household and in my parenting
and in my marriage. But if we're too
afraid to say that, then there is no
space for someone to then respond and say,
oh, okay. Yeah. Of course, I can cook
while you're resting. Of course, I can do
those things.
But it may not be in anyone's consciousness
if we're operating in that, well, my mom
was superwoman or women are superwomen. You can
do anything and everything while you're having giving
the bait having like, giving a birth to
a baby and menstruating. Like, you can just
do it all. And if we keep doing
it all, we don't give space for the
culture to shift and know that we are
human. We have rights. We have boundaries. We
have limitations.
And then the last thing I wanted to
say, I think that was the first time
I heard this, narration about Abu Hareda.
Radiullah Khan,
I hadn't heard that before you shared it,
but just this idea, like, we can't
use Islam to affirm our own
devalued,
you know, like our low self esteem
and our negative self talk, and just think,
Oh, well, I'm in this state, so that
means You know what? Do you kinda get
what the connection I'm making is that
we can't use Islamic concepts to affirm our
negative thoughts about ourself and think that they're
righteous or pious or
spiritual or what have you. Like, we have
to have some clarity of what it means
to be a dignified like, Allah gives us
honor in this deen. And you always say
this. We're not meant to be doormats.
Don't let people oppress you. Don't let people
treat you like a doormat. You have rights,
but don't let don't spiritualize
your lack of self esteem and your lack
of self worth.
You know,
the dean should be lifting you out of
it, not pushing you down deeper into it.
That is one of the most dangerous things,
you know, especially if we we we start
believing that the dean wants us. Anybody anybody
who feels that way, you have to get
away from from whoever if somebody's telling you
that or from yourself
and recognize those that's wrong because you're
you're,
our Lord,
Allah
and the prophet
they want what's for you. They want what's
good for you. They they're
the,
our dean just wants they it's to lift
us up as women as well, a 100%.
So if you're getting any kind of anything
that's being told as negative or against that,
then, you know, know right away that that's
that it's you either you're misinterpreting it or
it's just, you know, we have to purge
ourselves. So that's one of the things that,
you know, in terms of this, like, I
I was telling Chantal, this is, as I
was telling you, this is this is what
my course is all about, reviving. You know,
it's, like, 3 months, but it's all perhaps
I'm gonna make it into 6 months because
it's
it's,
women have to be unfortunately, we are at
this position where we have to be kind
of convinced
that we are worthy, that we are,
that Allah
cares about us, and, you know, the prophet
cares about us. You know? And, unfortunately, we
have to be convinced, but that is where
we're at. And so I encourage women to,
to just kind
of try themselves to purge these beliefs. If
you have these voices in your head telling
you otherwise to stop that and go and
just remember who the prophet is and was
that his was all mercy and all good
and got for
us, you know, all goodwill for us.
Hopefully, when we come from that, you know,
either we may understand or just recognize where
we don't understand understand and just, you know,
recognize that, you know, shall we can learn
get it from another place and,
learn more about how to understand these Hadith
or aayat.
Yeah.
Well,
for your time. May Allah reward you and
your entire family for, you know, the time
that you were able to share with us
today
and also reward the, the teachers that have
poured into you, that have shared their wisdom
with you, and that you're bringing forth with
us today.
Thank you so much for spending your time
with us today.
How to contact you and reach you and
to enroll in your courses will be shared
in the group.
And, thank you all for participating and being
here.