Shadee Elmasry – Understanding Mahr- Islamic Marriage Contract Explained

			Of course, we always speak about
from the maniche school. Now, the
		

			dowry in marriage is an obligation
from the groom to the bride, and
		

			it is an agreed upon amount of
what money. It's an agreed upon
		

			amount of of anything of value. It
could be a ring, it could be an
		

			action, a service, and it could be
money, but it has to be something
		

			that can be objectively measured,
and it's to be agreed upon, and it
		

			should be negotiated, usually by
the Wali, not by the bride
		

			herself, because she may be
embarrassed
		

			to hassle her husband to be but
her father would not, right? Her
		

			father would actually feel the
opposite inclination he wants to,
		

			sort of not. It is a feeling of,
I'm giving my daughter. I'm
		

			handing my daughter from my house
to your house, from me being the
		

			main caretaker to you. So he is
giving his daughter away, even
		

			though this is not a sale. She's
getting the money, not him, right,
		

			but he feels that he wants to make
sure that this is done right, and
		

			he ends up he'll probably
negotiate better. Now, the Prophet
		

			saw him also advised that the
walis, the uliah, in this case, to
		

			not make marriage difficult, or
else the Shabab will and not marry
		

			and then maybe do something worse.
If they're stuck not being
		

			married, that's the dowry. Now,
let's what happens if people
		

			forget? It's possible they forget
to include the Maher in their
		

			marriage process, and they
actually have a Nikah. And out of
		

			ignorance, there is, oh, shoot, we
never did a mA. Are they
		

			adulterers? The answer is no. So
this is a pillar of Nikah that it
		

			can be forgotten. Can be forgotten
what cannot ever be forgotten? The
		

			wali in the Maliki school, as
opposed to the
		

			Hanafi school, you don't have a
contract. You don't have a Nikah
		

			if you don't have those two
things. So two more things. One is
		

			the dowry, one is the witnesses.
The witnesses are necessary for
		

			consummation. So we're sitting in
the father of the bride's house.
		

			We're sitting in his living room,
and he says, Wallah, you're a good
		

			man, and we know you and we trust
you and we're ready to marry.
		

			Someone says, Why don't we marry?
Right now, it's okay. It's just
		

			me. Let's say it's me, my
daughter, and the the groom and my
		

			wife, right? Let's say,
hypothetically, no witnesses. His
		

			mom still not witness. He the male
witnesses. So we say, okay,
		

			zawati, I married my daughter to
you.
		

			He says they're married, but he
cannot take her and go into
		

			another room. Consummation in
Sharia refers to entering into
		

			privacy, something where intimacy
could occur. It doesn't have to be
		

			a only that, for example, meet me
in a in the woods. The Woods is a
		

			public place, right? But intimacy
could happen there. So anywhere
		

			where intimacy could happen, that
is not allowed until there are
		

			witnesses so that nobody can
accuse these people. Nobody
		

			accuses them and says that they
did this, that or the other. So
		

			now in this case, they would say,
for example, let's go to the
		

			masjid. They drive to the masjid,
the man stands up. O people, I
		

			testify to you. I have married my
daughter to this man, and this man
		

			has accepted, and he agrees. Call
us. You've now made ish hard of
		

			it.
		

			And so therefore now there won't
be doubts, there won't be
		

			accusations. So the witnesses is a
rokun of the marriage that can be
		

			that is only needed for half of
the marriage, which is the
		

			consummation, not the contract. So
he's contractually married to
		

			this. They're married, but they
cannot consummate the marriage or
		

			act upon it until the community
knows minimum of the community is
		

			two male, upright Muslim
witnesses. Now we forgot the dowry
		

			and he consummated. We have
witnesses. And they went alone and
		

			they lived. They spent the night
and they went on a honeymoon, and
		

			oh my gosh, came back when they
forgot the dowry. Are we
		

			adulterers? Are we fornicators?
No, they're not
		

			if they intentionally left it off,
that's different, but they forgot
		

			about it, or they said, let's talk
about it later, and they forgot to
		

			talk about it later. So now they
agree upon a dowry once they
		

			remember. So two people, let's say
they get married without a dowry,
		

			or let's say they get married
outside of Islam, then they both
		

			convert to Islam, which, by the
way, from North Carolina, I we had
		

			a case like that, not a case, but
I met a couple like that. Brother
		

			just visited us here in North
front in New Brunswick last month.
		

			He entered Islam. His wife entered
Islam. His kids also became
		

			Muslim, right? Whole family, whole
family is Muslim. Now, amazing.
		

			Amazing case, not case of case,
talking about it like it's okay.
		

			Yeah, amazing story, I should say,
right, yeah, amazing story. So he
		

			What would he have to do? Does he
have to remarry? Is this
		

			Christian? If he had a civil
marriage, you have a Christian
		

			marriage, you have a Hindu
marriage, the Sharia deems you to
		

			be married. You just have to
fulfill the conditions now that
		

			you missed. So let's say he had
gotten married, case like this,
		

			without a dowry. He just paid the
dowry afterwards. They have to
		

			agree upon it. What happens if the
marriage is already said and done
		

			but they don't agree on a dowry?
Well, the MO, as long as they
		

			don't agree on dowry, the wife has
to has the right to say, all
		

			right, don't touch me. Then, even
if they agree and he refuses to
		

			pay it. Don't touch me. That's why
the dowry is important. Mahar
		

			sadaq, it's called the MaHA it's
called the Sadak could be called a
		

			dowry in English. I know in India,
the word dowry means the reverse.
		

			So we have to be careful of that.
So then our situation is there
		

			that they have to get an
arbitrator who will inform them of
		

			sadakul mith.
		

			Sadakul mith refers to average
dowry. It's salary arbitration,
		

			basically people of your likeness.
What do they get when they get
		

			married, right? When they when
they get contracts, right? Someone
		

			with your batting average and your
stolen bases right and your years.
		

			What is he getting? Those three
guys very similar to you. They're
		

			all getting 5 million a year. This
one's 4.9 This one's 5.2 This
		

			one's five. You're gonna get five.
That's it. So in the case that
		

			they forgot about the Sadak and
they cannot agree on the Sadak,
		

			they go with sadaq and myth, and
it becomes binding. Why? Because
		

			the marriage is already done.
Marriages, they're already
		

			consummated. So let's talk about
some other things related to the
		

			sadaq, the dowry, it can be paid
over time.
		

			A man says,
		

			you go, you go and you marrying
into a very wealthy family. It's
		

			not fathomable that you're going
to marry, maybe for, let's say,
		

			for under $20,000 dowry. That's
easy in some communities, certain
		

			communities, it's not that that's
low, by the way, that's low.
		

			That's low dowry in some
communities, yeah, there are some
		

			communities, everyone's involved
in certain industries that the
		

			baseline of that industries are
going to be rich. It's only the
		

			difference between rich, or really
rich, and the rich in those
		

			communities feel poor. They feel
poor even though they're rich. So
		

			in those situations,
		

			he can pay it over time.
		

			There's nothing wrong with that
concept. So all right, I'll give
		

			you. Let's say it's going to be
10,000 I don't have 10,000 but I
		

			do have a job I can't afford, but
I don't have savings. To 10,000
		

			All right, I'll give you three
now, and I'll give you one on
		

			January 1 of every year for the
next seven years. Now that, let's
		

			say they do that. Let's say they
get divorced in year two. So he
		

			paid four. He owes
		

			six more, right?
		

			Does he have to pay those six more
than they get divorced? He does.
		

			It's a debt.
		

			It's a debt if he dies
		

			married or not married, we remove
that immediately,
		

			and we consider that a debt owed.
It is a debt owed. So then the
		

			inheritance happens after is the
estate is just divided up.
		

			Afterwards, the estate is divided
up after bequests to non
		

			inheritors maximum 1/3 and debts.
Now, what is forbidden in the
		

			Maliki school is sadaq, the muqad
is valid in certain meth HEBs, but
		

			in the Maliki school, they don't
like it. What is it? First of all,
		

			it is that, if you divorce, you
owe this much. If you divorce in
		

			year one, you owe 20k if you
divorce in year two, you owe 10k
		

			if you divorce in year five, you
owe 5k so on and so forth. Or, in
		

			general, if you divorce, you owe
20k Why is this unlawful? Because
		

			it's actually harmful. Because,
let's say the man wants to get a
		

			divorce, he's gonna lose his wife
half the time with his kids,
		

			probably his half his house,
probably half his salary for the
		

			rest of his life. And on top of
that, he's gonna lose 20k he's
		

			like, No, I'm not doing this. So
what's he gonna do? He's gonna
		

			say, Well, my options in Sharia is
for her to request a divorce, and
		

			then I didn't divorce her.
		

			How can I get her to request that
divorce? So he'll bother her and
		

			bother her and bother her until
she requests the hula, so that he
		

			doesn't have to cough up the 20k
or the 25k or sometimes just
		

			ridiculous amounts of money. So
you see, that's why Sheikha Abdul,
		

			Hamid Al Mubarak. He says, in our
method, we don't allow muach And
		

			it's harmful to her. That's why he
says that.