Shadee Elmasry – The Wrong Reasons to Marry – NBF 381
AI: Summary ©
The transcript describes a mix of disconnected sentences and phrases, including a woman who wants to marry her ex-boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend, a man preaching the concept of "monster" and claims to be a qawl al-fasl, and a woman who wants to marry her ex-boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend again. The speakers discuss various topics such as the proof of the physical senses, the proof of the physical senses, and the proof of the physical senses and the proof of the physical senses. They also touch on various topics such as the proof of the physical senses and the proof of the physical senses, and the use of qawl al-fasl as a qawl al-fasl. The transcript also touches on the use of turban coverage and the rule of shaking hand with a non- turban.
AI: Summary ©
Hello, welcome
to my lecture, today I am going to
give you a brief introduction to quantum mechanics.
Welcome everybody to the Safina Society, nothing but
facts live stream on a fall autumn Tuesday,
and you start feeling the fall now, you
start having to put a vest on, put
a jacket on, you wake up on Tuesday,
Monday morning, you hit the treadmill, and you
watch highlights, and you watch the Dallas Cowboys
miss extra point after extra point, and then
lose by three, that's what they lost by,
and what did you guys miss, extra point
here, extra point there, a play here, a
play there, that's just what losing teams do
so well.
And then you watch the Bengals who were
supposed to be so good, right, and they're
getting, the treatment from the Washington, I mean,
what's up with Washington, all of a sudden
they're good, the commanders are a thing these
days, they're good all of a sudden, I
didn't see all the highlights, but that's how
I do my exercise on the treadmill, that's
how you have to do it.
And just watch TV for no reason, nobody,
I mean, I highly, I wonder, when does
a person watch TV, Friday night maybe, Saturday
maybe, but not on the weekday, right, there's
no time for this, maybe at the end
of every day, end of the day, guy
sits down with a plate of food, puts
a TV on, but that's how you ruin
your health.
I'm sitting here with three brothers from Dallas,
alleging to be biological siblings, okay, half Turkish,
half Pakistani, one of them looks like Carmelo
Anthony's son over here, like a small version
of Carmelo Anthony, braids included.
We got a lot to talk about today,
first of all, let's fire up the starboard,
we are officially launched for mentorship, okay, some
of you are trying to find a husband,
or trying to find a wife, some of
you are a brand new husband or a
wife, fire up starboard, and let's take a
look at this, and let's read some relationship
advice.
Relationship advice, the source of it is Quran,
and Sunnah, and Hikmah, Hikmah, Hikmah, what's the
proof, where does wisdom come from, wisdom can
come from anyone with experience and thoughtfulness, and
that experience, you know what, Omar, keep it
on this screen, because I like it, but
eliminate the bottom gold and white.
Make it just the white and the beautiful
table that's around it, yeah, down a little,
yeah, there we go, you see how there's
a beautiful table around it, and those lamps
and everything, and those, and increase the size
from the top so it's not cut off,
that little, yeah, right there, nice.
Okay, let's talk about this now, the sources
of knowledge are Quran, and Sunnah, and Hikmah
here, because this is a Tajreebi, a lot
of marriage is Tajreebi by nature, Tajreebi is
by trial and error, and you can take
from the Hikmah of a non-believer, the
proof of that is the Prophet ﷺ said,
wherever he finds it, he has more right
to it, that means you found the wisdom
with a non-believer, why is wisdom, the
lost, is a Muslim have more right to
wisdom, because he's gonna use it properly, right,
wealth is better in the hands of somebody
who will use wealth properly than someone who
won't use wealth properly, that's a simple reason.
You can travel the world and read books
and go on the internet and find a
lot of wisdom, and that's what our mentors
have done, the way this works is that
you get the, you will sign up for
a class and then you could continue with
the mentor, communicate with the mentor on email,
if you choose, but you have a mentor,
it's mentorship, you don't have to have problems
to do this, some people are just not,
they don't have problems but they're not good
husbands, they don't have problems but they're not
good wives, you could be a lot better,
right, most of us, we don't have any
sicknesses but we can use a physical fitness
mentor, right, you don't have to have a
sickness to need that, okay, to need a
mentor in physical fitness.
Well, here's a guy who has some decent
advice, he says, be together, be married, we'll
just take three, be married for the right
reasons, right, the foundation of marriage has to
be sounds and right in the first place
and that's very important, I mean, just don't
be with somebody because you got pressure to,
let me tell you, there's a lot of
brothers who have been pressured to marry their
relatives so that the relative could get a
green card, sometimes, let's say a mom, she's
got a niece in another country, she'll use
her son, marry the niece, bring her over
and she'll really pressure the kid to do
this, I mean, does it get any more
haram than this?
And you as a Muslim man need to
know your rights, you can never be forced
into this, ever, and if she says, I'm
not pleased with you on the day of
judgment, it's batil, not every, I'm not pleased
with you is valid, right, okay, is it
possible to say, I'm not pleased with you
on the day of judgment if you don't
go steal, of course not, right, if you
pray, I'm not pleased with you on the
day of judgment, of course not, right, so
not every phrase, I'm not pleased with you,
is valid, it's invalid, oh, be careful of
the dua of the mom, well, oh Allah,
throw fire and brimstone on his head, he's
not doing what I said, it's invalid dua,
right, I remember a guy came up to
a friend of mine and he accused him
of something that the guy had not done,
and he said, wallahi, and he was so
energetic, and you're very emotional, wallahi, I make
dua on you right now, now the guy
got scared, so luckily he had an imam
near there and he said, you don't even
have to lose a millisecond of sleep on
that dua, because it's not true, it's not
valid, just because you utilize the word dua,
just because you utilize the word raji, not
raji, it doesn't mean it's truth, it means
absolutely deadly squat zero, okay, you may be
afraid of it, it's peer pressure, peer pressure
is scary, imagine family pressure, the mom's pressuring
you, her being upset is a problem by
itself, you're gonna be upset, if you're connected
to your mom and your mom's upset, you're
gonna be upset, but that doesn't mean those
threats have any validity with Allah, subhanahu wa
ta'ala, no validity with Allah, okay, they
have no meaning, they're kalam adum, essentially, right,
it's as if it's nothing, so you don't
have to worry about that, so being pressured
to marry someone is one of these, you're
setting yourself up for disaster, it's the number
one probably source of disaster, here's another one,
a cousin gets close to a woman, he's
so nice, but something inside the woman just
doesn't wanna marry him, right, she just doesn't
feel like she wants to marry him, but
she sort of feels bad for rejecting him,
sister, this is not his right, you feel
bad, yes, you can feel bad about it,
but it's not his haq, so when you
feel bad about it, that means reject in
a nice way, like you can say a
lot of nice things, have your dad do
it, say, well, Allah, you're a great guy,
it's just there's no nasib here, right, there's
no, it's not gonna work out, nobody owes
anyone marriage, this family has done so much
for us, he's done so much, and now
the son has come to propose, right, they
have helped us out in our life so
much in different ways, you can never repay
them, now the son is coming to propose
to our daughter for marriage, the daughter's like,
we love that family, yeah, but I'm not
gonna marry him, you cannot pressure her to
do that, to return a favor, it's not
how it works, this is a great piece
of advice, marry for the right reason, don't
marry because of some pressure, some family business
between the two, let alone for papers, I
mean, that's probably not only illegal, but it
actually is illegal, but of course, they don't
know your intention, but they do come check
every few years to make sure you're legitimate,
you know, by the way, they have a
haq now, the government, because they know people
marry for papers all the time, they have
a haq now, where they'll come back and
they'll rescind your papers if they discover it
was a fake, so first of all, they
investigate you in the first place to see
if you're actually married, then they make it
a long process because you gotta stay married,
then if you pass that, and you stay
married, the last I heard, if they come
back after years and they check on you,
if it turns out that you did fool
them, they rescind the papers, that's what I
heard, someone in the law can address that,
we're launching Starboard today, as you see this
gorgeous website, starboardmarriage.com is up, Omar, can
you stick it in the chat, starboardmarriage.com
is being soft launched today, we are now
capable of taking clients, mentees, they are mentors
and mentees, it's a mentor-mentee relationship, a
lot of people need this program, it says
lakes, they're out here traumatizing people left, right,
and center, okay, people being traumatized, people don't
know how to be married, people don't know
their head from their toes, and they go
get married, and then they wonder three weeks
later, three months later, why they come back
crying in the masjid, why are you coming
crying to me when you never studied this
matter?
So, here's a guy who testifies, and he
says that, I got married, my family encouraged
me to marry, I felt like I wanted
to wait a little bit, they kept pushing
me, so I got married, and I was
miserable, I thought that time would fix things,
but I was wrong, I myself was not
ready to be married.
So I got divorced, now someone gets hurt
because of that now, because you got pressure
from friends, or here's this, sometimes your aunts
and uncles, you genuinely can't find the right
person, but your aunts and uncles, your aunties,
mostly the aunts and the women in the
family, they push it so hard, because time's
passing, right, so that family pressure, time's passing,
and I just have to marry someone quick,
because it just doesn't look right.
It doesn't, how could you be entering 30,
31, 32, 35, 37, 38, 40, and not
marry, what's wrong, right?
Now, it's very, I have to be very
careful when I talk like this, because many
people do have valid reasons, right, so be
mindful that these generalizations are just, there is
exceptions to the rules, so that no one
feeling gets hurt.
Alright, sometimes they marry because you just cannot
say no to this family, that's another reason
people get married, this family, they're so well
-off, they're so well-liked, they got so
many popular people in the family, you just
can't say no to this family, that's wrong.
Person, and I know a guy who married
for that reason, luckily he stayed married, but
the main reason he married was because he
admired the brother so much, but the brother
and the sister are two different creatures, right,
they're totally different people, right, you don't marry
to have a brother-in-law, you're not
marrying for a brother-in-law, you're not
marrying for a sister-in-law, you're marrying
for the person, and the opposite's true too,
the opposite's true too.
You marry for the person who may have
come from a terrible family, that Pride and
Prejudice is all about, right, you read that
book?
It's one of your favorite books, right?
The mom, she's loud, she's terrible, she has
no tact, she's an embarrassment wherever she goes,
one of the daughters, or two of the
daughters are a complete embarrassment wherever they go,
but two of the daughters are perfect, right,
they're tactful, they're tasteful, they're polite, everything's perfect,
so some people stay away from that family
just because of two members, that's false too,
right, that's terrible.
So it's bad for them because people want
to stay away from them, but that's not
a reason to stay away from somebody.
You may have, in fact, sometimes the thorniest
bush produces the best rose, you like that
analogy, right, so because they've seen what a
bad person looks like, they've seen what a
misbehaving girl looks like, so by contrast, they
actually become the best.
Sometimes you find that in families.
Why do you find two polar opposites?
Because, well, for some reason one went one
way, and the next kid along says, oh,
that's a bad result, let me go the
opposite way.
So sometimes you have mixed families for, it's
very obvious why, just set it straight, yeah,
there we go.
It's obvious why families are mixed, because one
went so far in a bad direction, the
other one saw the result and became really
good.
So sometimes the idea of the black sheep
in the family is a wisdom, right.
I saw one family, the oldest person, he
was a miserable guy, right, every decision he
made was bad, really bad, but what did
that do?
It was a blessing in disguise, because all
the siblings, the younger siblings were like, whoa,
that's a bad decision, that's a bad decision,
I ain't doing that.
The dad could have probably given speeches to
them ad nauseam, it wouldn't have the same
effect, as seeing your brother go down that
path.
Sometimes it's a girl who goes down the
bad path, but we all see it and
we say, oh, I don't want that.
So sometimes people will stay away from a
family, whereas in fact, no, there's a treasure
in that family.
It's actually because of the presence of that
bad person, she became good or he became
good.
Here's another one, someone looks too good, right,
the girl is so pretty, you can never
say no to her.
So he basically got intoxicated with her beauty.
So now you do have a reason, no
one's pressuring you, but it's still the wrong
reason.
That the beauty is fine, but it needs
to be followed up with an acceptable dean
from the sister.
And in Islam, the Prophet's advice is to
look at the dean of the person.
The personality may not come out a lot,
right?
The personality of a sister, I mean, maybe
today I think everyone's personality comes out a
lot, right?
People aren't shy the way they used to
be.
But if you look at the Prophet's advice,
personality is, or khuluq, is look for the
khuluq of the man, the dean and the
khuluq.
But when he mentions the woman, he mentions
the dean only.
One of the reasons for that is that
it's possible and likely that a woman can
adapt more than a man.
So if a woman is with a certain,
a loud guy, she can adapt to that.
If she's with a quiet guy, she can
adapt to that.
Allah knows best, maybe it's a wisdom of
the Prophet that women can adapt, so don't
worry so much about how she is now.
The way she is now, maybe because her
dad's a certain way.
But you're the opposite kind of guy, so
she may be, she'll be the corollary personality
to you.
So you can't really judge it.
Whereas a guy, his personality is what it
is.
His khuluq is out there, he's out there,
you can ask about him.
And usually that's the case.
People really don't do a lot of background
checks on the women, if you think about
it.
When a man proposes, he sees this picture,
what their family's like, what she's like, and
he proposes.
And they do a background check on the
guy.
So, marrying for image.
There was a guy one time, this is
a funny story, pretty sad but funny.
There was a girl who couldn't get married
for a long time.
She was not getting a lot of proposals,
and it's a big tribulation in life.
Nothing to laugh about.
You wouldn't want it on your daughter.
You wouldn't want it for yourself.
The day comes along, she gets a very,
guy's like six foot one, and he's a
doctor.
And he proposes, and he's very handsome.
And the family's like, finally Allah's answered our
dua.
Their head over heels, they've just gone nuts.
Now the dad, he's not buying it.
He's just not buying it.
He's like, this makes no sense.
One, why is he not married yet?
If he's so educated, so well off, he's
a doctor.
He's six foot one, they get head start
in life.
It's the truth.
You're taller, you get advantages.
Little micro advantages, so many over life that
you advance beyond other people.
Some people could screw it up, and some
people take advantage of it.
So the dad's sitting there, he's not buying
it.
A guy like that, why would you propose
to somebody who is less endowed, we can
say that.
Without making anyone feel bad or saying anything,
but that's just how we describe it.
He's not buying it.
So he contacts the guy for a private
meeting.
And he says to him, come on, we're
both guys, what's going on here?
You should be proposing to the most worthy
of brides out there, of women out there.
Handsome, doctor, all that.
So he says, well I am nothing.
I just met your daughter and I love
her.
I need to see your background paperwork.
I need to see your credit score, and
I need to see your medical report.
He didn't hear anything from him for two
weeks.
He called him back.
I need to see your papers before we
continue.
Something's going on here.
The guy then sends a friend to tell
the dad, he's withdrawing his proposal.
Something's up with this guy.
Probably when you got so many advantages in
life, you messed around, you got yourself some
STDs.
And that's what he got, he had STDs.
Yes, maybe he made Toba now.
Fine, we can accept that.
That doesn't change certain consequences that you got
STDs.
Who is all this?
Who are you guys?
We got guests.
Pennsylvania, you guys are from Pennsylvania?
Where are you from?
Come on, move down.
Brother.
ICPC.
We need some corn nuts or peanuts for
our guests here.
Oh, good.
Mashallah.
All right, get some nuts to our guests.
We got six guests in the house today.
All single men, perfect.
You need to learn so you can get
married.
What?
You're not single, that means you're married.
You're married, mashallah.
Married or engaged?
Married.
Okay, very good for you.
So, we got five eligible bachelors here.
But this guy, he had the STD, by
the way.
All right, in this example that I gave.
Okay, maybe he made Toba, but the consequences
of your sins stay with you though.
That's why certain sins, you got to stay
away from them.
And the dad had the common sense to
say this is not adding up.
But if the dad had not said anything,
the girls would not have asked.
Okay, the girls would not have asked.
The mom and the daughter were so head
over heels, they can't believe this guy proposed.
They would have just said yes.
So that is, again, no peer pressure, but
wrong reason.
Just because of the image on the outside
is so amazing, right?
And that's actually one of the disadvantages of
well-endowed people.
When we say well-endowed, it means Allah
has been generous to them.
Their appearance, their height, their family, their wealth,
all that.
They don't face a lot of challenges.
So their character is not as chiseled.
It's not as developed.
Whereas people who are less endowed, they got
better.
They got more challenges in life.
Their character, they face more fire from people,
right?
All these guys face red carpets all day.
Red carpets, red carpets.
Everywhere they go, red carpets.
Well, where's your character going to get tested
from?
Whereas people who are less endowed, sometimes they
have the best character.
That's why the spirit, the soul of every
group of people is oftentimes someone with a
severe issue, a severe negative.
He's the spirit of the group.
He's the beating heart of the group because
he's got character.
He's got character.
He's one of the building blocks, the core
team members of a group.
He's got character because he suffered.
At every turn, he suffers a little bit,
right?
So that suffering builds character.
And these other guys with the red carpet,
he red carpeted himself into an STD.
Everywhere he goes, the girls are swooning for
him, right?
What did it get you?
It got you an STD.
And now you can't marry anybody.
But those guys, who should a guy who
lived that life marry?
Another woman who lived that life and made
tawbah from it.
Allah says in the Quran, What that means
is, it doesn't mean it has to be.
It does not mean that.
We covered that.
We put that in the MalikiFitQA.com.
What it means is that this is who
will understand you most, right?
That means if you are a guy and
you lived that club life and that scene
for 10 years, then you fixed your act
together.
You need a woman who lived in that
life too.
She's going to understand.
You'll be saying, yeah, I got a STD.
She's probably got one too, right?
If you got the same one, no worries,
right?
I don't know how it works, but doesn't
that make sense, right?
If you got the same one, you neutralize
each other out, right?
If you don't have the same one, you
already got one.
Now you're going to get two, right?
Insurance will probably cover it anyway.
But at least you could say it openly.
She said it openly.
At least you have the same background.
Also, if she relapses or you relapse, which
is possible, husband and wife can relapse into
that world, it is going to be bad
but not otherworldly.
You have not shaken her existence.
She used to do the same thing, right?
Whereas if you marry a completely pure woman
and you're a guy from the clubs and
you made Tawbah, you and her do not
match.
If you slip up, your slip up is
for her, you just shaked up her world.
She never talks to guys, let alone sleeping
with them.
And when you shake up, your shake up
is not that you texted a sister.
No, the door for you, that path is
a trodden path.
Trodden path means there are no weeds.
It's straight.
And you know how to get there so
easily.
And you do it.
It's not a shock to you.
You've done it a hundred times before.
So when you do that, fall into that
sin, you've shaken up her world.
You are in Mars right now.
You're in a world, this is not a
world she knows.
You know, talks to one guy, says Assalamualaikum,
she says Astaghfirullah after that, right?
That's the world that you married into.
So she cannot even fathom that world.
But if you married another girl, she used
to be in the same scene that you
were in, and you tripped up and did
that, that is a world she knows.
Yes, she'll be upset, it's bad and all
that, but it's not a complete earth-shattering
shock, right?
It's a world that you both used to
live in.
That's one of the wisdoms for that.
A lot of times a guy, he thinks
that he could just turn it on and
turn it off.
Yeah, but that doesn't change the consequence of
who you've become after that.
You've made Tawbah.
All right, so I'm going to squander all
my money, my credit score is negative, no
one will rent to me, I made Tawbah.
Astaghfirullah, paid off my debts and that's it.
The credit score is still negative.
How are you going to build a family
with this, right?
So that's the second reason is marrying, because
the image is too good, right?
And then their person has a past and
it doesn't work.
So that's another mistake that people make.
Here's another one.
Your first love.
People when they experience love the first time
and they imagine that they love someone, oftentimes
you really do need an older person's perspective
who knows where you're headed in life.
That's a big difference, right?
I mean that's a big piece of advice.
Where are we headed in life?
Because one guy may be headed directly to
poverty.
That's where he's headed.
He's got no future, he's not into that
stuff.
He's headed there.
She may be someone who's actually headed to
wealth.
The trajectories are so off and you can't
get married on a hopefully he'll change.
You definitely can't do that.
Some women these days, I should say a
lot of women these days, they're so driven
and their trajectory is so clear and they're
on the path to making six figures by
age 27.
By age 40, if she invests properly, she'll
have a bank account with seven figures in
it.
But this guy's head is so spaced out,
in good or bad, doesn't make a difference.
Spaced out is spaced out.
You'll be spaced out in the good too.
He's so spaced out.
This guy is not even headed to five
figures.
He's not even hireable, let alone if he
was to save.
But anyway, a guy can't save.
Any husband, 90% of his paycheck goes
for expenses.
If he saves anything, he's lucky.
But in Islam, the woman, no, it shouldn't
be like that.
It could be if she donates it to
her household.
But it should not have to be that
way.
And in most cases, she can afford to
save a lot more.
So therefore, her wealth and earning will keep
increasing.
So there's no shame if a woman makes
more money than a man, as long as
the man is covering what the Sharia requires
for him and what the Urf requires too.
There's Urf, don't forget.
Sharia requires me what?
Give you a loaf of bread every day.
There is a ceiling there and there's a
shirt on your back.
There's electricity there.
What do you want?
That's also there's Urf as part of Sharia,
Urf.
So there is Urf, customs.
It's customary to have a bunch of clothes.
It's customary to have decent food.
It's customary to have meat every once in
a while.
It's customary to have chicken pretty regularly.
It's customary to have a house certain size,
certain number of rooms, etc., etc., etc.
So there are these customary things that we
have to take into account as well.
And so it's okay if he's fulfilling that
and she has more money than him.
That's fine.
She hasn't necessarily proven herself better.
He's paying for everything else.
She just gets to save more and invest
more.
Makes sense, right?
But nonetheless, let's hypothetically say even if she
was paying for the same stuff, she's just
better at work.
She's better at making money.
As long as he's fulfilling his Sharia obligations,
there should be no shame in that.
Fine, she makes a bit more money.
No problem.
She's still living off of my paycheck, my
sweat.
That's fine.
That's what the husband should be.
In most case scenarios, remember everything I said
here, there's exceptions.
There could be an exception where the guy
gets hurt, she refuses to leave him, and
she ends up taking care of him.
It's very likely.
Out there in the world somewhere, that's happening
to somebody.
There should be no shame in that.
And it could be some other weird situation
where he fell on some stumbling blocks in
life and she didn't, and she ends up
paying for the bulk of things.
But what's important, we're saying that's an exception.
That's not the rule.
They didn't get married planning that.
Right?
That's not the deal.
Anyway, having said that, it is a problem
if the disparity is way too much.
It doesn't even feel right in society.
She's a surgeon, and he's, let's say, I
don't want to say anything because it's going
to offend somebody, but let's say he's a
poet.
And he releases a poem, you know, 300
poems, maybe one gets published, and he gets
$1,000 for the publication.
Right?
Every time he releases a poem.
It doesn't even look right.
She's going to go now to her medical
parties with this tag along?
Right?
And, oh, what do you do?
I'm a poet.
I'm an artist.
Okay.
It doesn't look right.
So people who are older, who have lived
more, they could see that this year in
college, now she's a bio major, he's an
English major.
Second year of college, you can't see the
disparity yet.
Right?
All this we're saying, marrying for the wrong
reasons.
That first puppy love is the wrong reason.
She's a bio major with her eye on
medical school.
He's an English major with his head in
the sky.
And he just reads poems and Longfellow, Robert
Frost, and all these people paste it up
on his walls, and that's who he looks
up to and it's what he wants to
be like.
The dad should look, the mom even was
like, oh, no, it's not going to work.
I know you guys like each other.
It looks like he has, maybe he actually
has more money at this moment in time
and you have nothing and you're just a
student.
But fast forward 10 years, you're going to
have problems.
Fast forward 20 years, when there's children's payments
to be made and decisions to be made,
where are we going to go?
The private school or public school?
What house are we going to buy?
How are you going to make a decision
as a guy who's making 2% of
your wife's income, but you're supposed to be
the decision maker?
How is it fair in any world?
We're going to buy this $500,000 house.
Here in New Jersey, that's basically probably like
an apartment, right?
We're going to buy this five, let's live
in this four bedroom house because we're going
to have so many kids.
But it's $900,000.
She says, yeah, I can afford it, right?
He says, no, I don't want to.
Who's the one buying?
Who's paying?
How is this decision going to work?
This is going to lead to a clash.
The only way it's not going to lead
to a clash is the guy metaphorically completely
castrates himself and accepts for himself to be
a plus one tag along, stay at home
husband type of a thing.
He accepts it for himself.
And then what kind of psychology does that
do for her, right?
What happens the day that they have a
fight and the head of the surgery department,
a divorced, is a divorcee, okay?
They cross paths.
That's an actual guy that I could look
up to, financially speaking.
This is a guy who could potentially take
care of a family.
I got the shoulders of a husband and
four kids on my back.
I don't want this anymore.
So here marrying for the other wrong reason
to marry is this youthful love when the
elders see that your trajectories are way off,
right?
So that's something that you keep in mind
too.
There was a guy, he was a Hadith
rejector.
Not just he was irreligious.
That's an issue, but that's not a Aqeedah
problem.
This guy actively speaks against taking guidance from
the Prophet ﷺ.
Take your guidance only from the Qur'an,
he used to say.
Well, Allah punished this man through his daughters.
They all married Muslims from different groups.
That's fine in itself, but some of the
groups were absurd.
One of them was the leader of the
Seek the Khilafah in England movement.
Try to build the Khilafah here.
They have bizarre rules.
One of the rules is you can't work.
Working contributes to the economy.
But what you can do is take welfare
and lie to take the welfare because you're
taking the money of the Kuffar.
In Darul Haram.
So take welfare, take as much of it
as you can, lie at every turn to
get more welfare because you're sucking the money
away from the Kafirs to yourself.
That's the mentality.
So what do they do?
They sit at home and argue about the
Khilafah online and apply for different welfare programs.
How is that?
What pride do you have in that family?
Another one of them, this one takes the
cake.
She wanted to marry a guy and she
wanted certain people to meet the guy.
So they're like, let's have a meeting.
We're going to go meet the guy.
We get there.
There's no guy.
There's a computer.
Oh, he's going to Skype in because he's
in jail.
What the heck?
Yeah, he took his Shahada in jail and
he read the three principles or whatever, right?
Right?
Yeah.
What in the world?
You're going to marry a guy who's in
jail?
You're college educated, right?
You're going to marry a guy who's basically
a small time thug who took Shahada in
jail.
That's fine and excellent for him, but how
does this match though?
Be realistic.
How is this going to match?
You're from a family, a Desi family of
professionals.
You know how these families are?
And you're going to bring a guy who
has not finished high school and is in
jail?
How is this going to work?
So this puppy love type of stuff, it
doesn't work out, and that's a third reason.
Wrong reason to get married.
So the theme here of today's then, the
marry for the right reason, that's the first
lesson.
You see what starboard mentorship is all about?
This is important.
The young guys, before they get married, should
be mentored.
We should probably have a track for that.
Women should also be mentored by other women
because there are certain things that I'm sure
a woman will do when she's single if
she's not careful and she'll regret it when
people are thinking about her for marriage.
But we'll leave that for the sisters to
deal with the sisters.
But young guys, they need to learn, they
need to study what's needed well in advance.
You know where this stuff's from?
High school.
Well in advance of marrying, certain things have
to be in place.
You're not going to have an income overnight.
You're not going to have a career track
overnight.
Someone in your high school days had been
drilling it in your head.
You're going to need this.
You need to learn how to go into
a place and earn a check.
You need to get good at that.
Then you need to start gaining knowledge so
you can go into better buildings and get
better checks.
At the very least, not everyone's going to
be a businessman.
Most people are going to be professionals, employees.
So that's what we're needing here.
And they say we're going to look at
three reasons.
Okay.
And those are three false reasons, wrong reasons,
why people would get their marriage would be
ruined because of these reasons.
We said peer pressure.
We said looks are just too good to
refuse.
Mirage.
And we said that that false initial puppy
love where there's what we call it in
fiqh is kafaa.
I believe in the Hanafi school that's an
actual condition.
Right?
But it's just as something advice, right?
Yeah, it's advice.
It's kafaa.
There has to be kafaa.
All right.
Kafaa is there's got to be some kind
of, what do you call it?
Compatibility.
That's the word.
So go to starboardmarriage.com.
And what we offer at starboardmarriage.com are
premarital sessions.
So if you're engaged, you're already in the
rink if you're engaged.
Now you need, first it's too late probably,
but at least now that you're in the
rink between what do they call them?
Rounds when you sit at the bench, get
some mentorship.
You go into the rink, the bell rings,
come out, right?
What do they get?
60 seconds between round one and two and
three, whatever, right?
And while that guy scrubs you up and
the coach is giving you advice, get some
mentorship between rounds.
You're already engaged.
Really we should start this for high schoolers
and college kids.
That's really where it starts.
If you want to be married 22, 23,
whatever, 24, it starts maybe four or five
years, six years in advance for the guy.
Probably less so for the girl, but for
the guy it does.
Women do say, yeah, it starts with them
early too because there's reputations involved that you
have to maintain.
People care about reputations.
Your marriage is not unique.
Nothing happens in your relationship that hasn't happened
to millions of couples before you.
That's good news because it means you can
draw from collective wisdom to model the marriage
of your dreams.
There are formulas for success.
Marriage is formulas.
You can study this thing.
You can study this thing.
When a certain kid turns out right, his
marriage is good, his life is set up
right, chances are he has a very wise
parent with common sense who push him in
that direction.
And those free thinking types, well, let me
look at this.
Why don't you look at the Venus Williams,
Serena Williams, Michael Jackson, Tiger Woods.
These are the best in their fields, right?
They didn't freestyle it.
They had parents who set them on a
track very early on and they became the
best at what they are for a reason.
Very early on, go to any sheikh in
any history, in any book and go look
at his father or grandfather, right?
They were sheikhs.
So you have an advantage when you get
advice when you're young, when you get mentorship
from home as a youth.
Go to any sports league right now and
go to any team, I guarantee you, because
we're so far into sports these days, like
it's been, what, 60, 70 years of professional
sports.
Go to any team.
I guarantee you there's going to be the
son of a player or the grandson of
a player.
I mean, the best quarterback, Peyton Manning.
It's a whole lineage, the whole family's all
quarterbacks or football players.
So it's not that, people do need mentorship.
You just freestyle things.
Chances are you don't succeed.
All right, so that's segment number one.
We're done with segment number one and you
can go to starboardmarriage.com if you're engaged
or about to be married or even looking
for marriage.
You're about to get in the ring or
you're in the ring, go and get a
mentor and they will guide you through this
so that you don't be doing something so
important without any knowledge and any mentor.
That is just one of the dumbest things
in the world.
No knowledge, no mentor.
Let's take a look at the next piece
of news and Omar, you can fire up
Al Jazeera's website here where we're going to
read about the latest on the Israeli attacks
on the world.
They just refuse to stop.
Fighting this unwinnable war is really what it
is.
A completely unwinnable war.
A complete, subhanallah, how much killing
is left for them to do.
Look at this.
Look at what Lebanon is now facing.
What is the number now?
It's 558 people, 50 kids have been killed.
Leon Panetta, remember him from the CIA, you
remember that name, himself said that what they
did with the technology is terrorism.
Nothing less than that.
Let's read that.
Leon Panetta, one of these former head of
what?
CIA, former CIA director, Leon Panetta, didn't mince
words about Israel's pager attacks.
Former CIA director Leon Panetta says the Israel
pager attack in Lebanon is terrorism.
He's one of the old folks who believes
in rule of law regardless.
Of course, we're past that world.
There's no rule of law anymore.
There's just the strong eats the weak and
that's it.
Pagers, walkie-talkies, solar panels exploded across Lebanon
as well as Syria.
And this attack carried out by Israel on
Tuesday, imagine if a Muslim country had done
that.
Imagine if the Taliban had done that.
Then a second wave killed another 20 people
and injured 450 people.
During an interview with CBS News, Leon Panetta,
former CIA director, warned that Israel is conducting
a war of terror.
The ability to be able to place an
explosive in technology that is very prevalent these
days and turn it into a war of
terror, this is something new.
So not only is he accusing them of
war of terror, he's accusing them of bid
'ah.
Bid'ah makruhah.
Bid'ah muharramah.
When asked whether Israel's attack constituted terrorism, he
was unequivocal.
I don't think there's any question that it
is a form of terrorism.
Panetta served as the Secretary of Defense from
2011 to 2013, then director of the CIA
before that, from 2009 to 2011, both under
Barack Obama.
Panetta was asked if he believed members of
the international community, including the U.S., should
condemn Israel's actions.
I think it's going to be very important
for the nations of the world to have
a serious discussion about whether or not this
is an area that everybody has to focus
on because if they don't try to deal
with it now, mark my word, it is
the battlefield of the future.
At some point, like what?
Like someone comes into your room, takes your
remote, puts a bomb in this, you turn
your AC on, it blows up on you.
Like where are we headed with this?
Where is it going?
Where is this going?
You tell someone, oh, you won an award.
What is it?
A free iPad.
You turn it on and it blows up
in your face.
Israel's deadly tactics in Lebanon have been condemned
by the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights,
Volker Turk, for violating international law by weaponizing
ordinary devices.
This idea that it was an attack on
Hezbollah is a lie, of course, because Hezbollah
is not the only people who use this
technology.
It's just the Chinese company that produced those
pages is suing Israel for this.
You're basically disrupted a trade that you had
nothing to do with.
You disrupted a trade that you had nothing
to do with.
You disrupted the tech before it got from
seller to buyer.
He explained international law prohibits the use of
booby-trapped items that are used in daily
life.
It's a war crime to commit violence intended
to spread terror among civilians.
Israel has continued to target Lebanon with impunity,
firing off a series of airstrikes Monday that
have killed more than 274 people and wounded
more than 1,000 more.
It's a blatant attempt to broaden the regional
war.
See, the thing is this.
The thing is this.
They can't win the war.
But like a Ponzi scheme, the only way
to stay alive is to keep expanding it.
This is like the war version of a
Ponzi scheme in terms of how they're reacting
to it.
You cannot win this.
The only way to stay alive in a
Ponzi scheme, you wasted...
This brother, from his MBA salary, he gave
me a million dollars.
I squandered his money.
I didn't invest it.
But I'm worried now.
What do I tell him?
Tell him your investment's doing great.
I forged some paperwork to show that actually
your million is now 1.3 million.
You should be happy.
Don't cash out now.
I'll reinvest that 1.3 million.
You say, okay.
I said, okay, phew.
I got him off my back.
What am I going to do now, though?
I'm going to go to you with that
forged paperwork and say, listen, give me 2
million.
Now I got 2 million in cash.
Maybe now I can make an investment that
would cover him for real and maybe cover
you.
So I do that.
Then a Ponzi scheme is not even that.
At some point in the Ponzi scheme you
just stop investing altogether.
You spend the money and just forge paperwork.
I forged a piece of paper to you
saying that we're winning the war.
I said, look, hey, we're winning the war.
Let's expand it.
The only way to survive a Ponzi scheme
is to keep lying and keep taking money
from people and just to keep expanding it
and forge more.
Israel right now, they're in a war that
they can't win.
It's not a winnable war.
If they were to stop right now and
any analyst would say, let's look at what
the objectives of this war was.
Have you reached them?
The answer is no.
So they can't stop.
They have to keep going.
It's like you've got to keep going, hoping
that things will change enough for the first
investor.
Hoping things would change.
As if, for example, Hamas is going to
disappear or something like that.
Or hoping that we'll clear out Gaza so
much that we can start living in there
and then officially we could say, yeah, unfortunately
we're going to end the war here.
We didn't achieve its goals, but it actually
was achieved.
You just can't say that.
You can't say that the actual real goal
was to empty Gaza completely.
So that's the other strategy they're taking.
Right?
That's the other strategy.
Yeah.
They want to expand it ultimately be best
to for them to expand it into Iran
so that America sends in troops.
And that's already happened.
Americans have sent in troops.
Let's see the latest on that.
How many?
Let's see.
Huh?
There's an aircraft carrier out there in the
region.
Yep.
There are no...
Pentagon says there are no U.S. support
for Israel.
There is no U.S. support for Israeli
offensive operations.
But the U.S. is sending what?
An aircraft carrier into the region.
And that really, the U.S. voter, that
should be like the red line for the...
Does the fact the voter even matter anymore?
Because that used to be always the thing.
Oh, the voters are not going to like
this.
Right?
And it's election season.
So let's stay away from that.
Is anyone still under the illusion that your
voice really matters?
And apathy is a sign of death of
a democracy.
Did you really think that the regular citizen
makes a difference anymore?
That's why you see this like big uncommitted
movement?
Let's see what the Hamtramck guy mayor...
What would it be?
Mayor?
Let's see what he says.
Because he's come under fire big time.
Hamtramck Mayor Amir Ghalib endorses Trump.
Calling him a man of principles.
What is it?
Opposite day?
Or is he a Shia doing...
What is Taqiyyah?
The mayor of the city with the highest
percentage of immigrants in Michigan.
Alright, we're going to shift.
We're going to close the Lebanon.
Our dua is with the people of Lebanon.
Our hearts are with the people of Lebanon.
I'm with the people of Lebanon.
And...
Let's see what's going to happen.
Is there going to be a pushback?
Are they just going to stop?
Whatever is happening, our hearts are with them.
And I'm with them.
At least with sentiment.
At least with dua.
And dua is not something little.
But let's take a look at this.
This is ajib.
The mayor of the city with the highest
percentage of immigrants in Michigan.
And in all Muslim city council.
Hamtramck, Michigan.
Next to Dearborn.
Has endorsed Donald Trump for president.
Hamtramck Mayor Amir Ghalib the first Arab American
and first Muslim to lead the city.
Announced late Sunday afternoon he will support the
former president.
Ghalib's post on Facebook supporting the Republican president
nominee was then reposted by Trump on his
social media site Truth Social.
Ghalib confirmed Monday morning to the Free Press
by text that he endorsed Trump.
And referred to his statement.
Trump and I may not agree on everything,
but I know he's a man of principles.
That's got to be the funniest thing ever.
Right?
You cannot say this.
That he's a man of principles.
I guess he's right.
The principle is himself.
That's the principle.
That's the principle.
Himself.
I believe he is the right choice for
the critical time.
I will not regret my decision no matter
what the outcome would be and I'm ready
to face the consequences.
You face the consequences.
You got smashed by your own people.
And you're laughing.
I'll tell you why.
Trump just 24 hours before this he said
we're coming down hard and we will eliminate
all anti-Semitism in the country starting 12
o'clock on January 20th because that's when
the president takes office.
That's when his term begins.
January 20th.
So he literally just said basically anyone who
speaks out against Israel we're coming after him.
Now we know that 90% of whatever
he says is just a bunch of smoke.
We know that as a fact.
But saying it still has an impact.
And 24 hours later a Muslim, supposed to
be anti-Israel goes and endorses the guy.
That's why he goes around saying I can
go to Madison Park Avenue and shoot someone
and my voters will still vote for me.
Because he just literally should have said something
that no Muslim should ever come near him
again.
Now if not way earlier.
But now and then the guy endorses him.
Next day.
The endorsement came after Ghalib met with Trump
in a private meeting last week in Flint
that lasted about 20 minutes.
Trump said in an interview with Breitbart that
Ghalib endorsed him because there were no wars
when he was president.
The former president added that he was very
impressed with Ghalib who had hosted a town
hall last year in Hamtramck with Trump's former
National Security Advisor Michael Flynn.
Why are you hosting these people?
You guys have friends.
You don't need people like you.
You don't need to go trying to make
friends with these guys.
These guys literally despise everything that you stand
for.
Michael Flynn of all people?
Many Arab Americans in Michigan are upset with
Joe Biden over his policies in Gaza, Lebanon,
and Yemen.
Biden lost to the uncommitted vote in Hamtramck.
That's one way to show that you're upset
without voting for the opposite side.
Ghalib Hey, Timur.
Who's yelling from outside the window?
What's going on there?
You see anyone?
You can keep the window open.
No problem.
But I just want to make sure everything's
okay.
She's yelling at the mechanics?
Alright, fair enough.
Ghalib's endorsement appeared to generate positive response from
Arab Americans in Hamtramck where 39% are
of Middle Eastern descent.
Here's the thing.
Arabs must be accustomed to these strongman scoundrels.
So I think that's the logic.
Yeah, I get that.
That's why.
I know everything is a lie.
And he talks a big game and never
admits he's wrong.
Sounds like my dad.
Or sounds like my uncle.
Or sounds like our president back home.
That's basically, I think, the psychology behind it.
It's like, yeah, I can relate to this.
But this...
That's politics.
That's what I think is the logic behind
it.
An additional 29% of the city is
Asian American, Bengali.
So 39% of Hamtramck are mostly Arabs
and Yemenis.
Mostly Yemenis but Arabs.
40% let's just say 40% Arabs.
30% Desis.
That's 70% right there.
I wonder what the other 30%, I guess,
mixed.
Ghalib is an immigrant from Yemen who is
a Muslim, leads the city that is believed
to be roughly half Muslim.
Yemeni...
Wait a second.
You just said 70, but I guess...
Didn't we just say 70?
But I guess maybe Arab Christians maybe?
Yemeni Americans are the largest ethnic group in
the city, followed by Bengalis.
All of the members of the city's six
member city council are Muslim of Yemeni or
Bengali descent.
More than 42% of the city are
immigrants.
The highest percentage in all of Michigan.
Trump has been accused of being anti-immigrant
with plans to deport many undocumented immigrants and
using inflammatory rhetoric such as legal Haitian immigrants.
What he said about the Haitians in Ohio.
They're eating the cats.
They're eating the dogs.
Blah, blah, blah.
Which was all a lie in the first
place.
When he was president, but he won the
soundbite for sure in that debate.
He lost the debate.
He won the soundbite, but he also won
the only important subject matter, which was Pennsylvania.
The fracking.
Winning the debate is irrelevant when your states
feel that you won the debate.
Right?
Even if Floridians say, okay, Trump lost the
debate, they're still going to vote for Trump.
What matters is what was said about a
swing state.
So Pennsylvania, the fracking thing, he won a
whole bunch of votes on Pennsylvania on that.
And that's what's important.
That's why my theory on that is that
he won, he lost the debate, but could
have won Pennsylvania and thereby the election because
that's one state.
This, could it put him over the top
in Michigan?
Possibly.
Getting the endorsement from this guy.
He's not going to endorse him unless his
hashia has already agreed to it.
Right?
This guy, Ghalib, he would not have endorsed
Trump unless his, the padding of people around
him, let's say 2,000 important people around
him, maybe less than that.
They support him too.
Right?
So, this could have given him Michigan right
here.
Florida is no longer, it's not a swing
state when it comes to Trump anymore.
That's in the bag.
Who are the swing states now?
Nevada?
Arizona?
Wisconsin?
Who else?
Ohio?
Georgia?
Georgia is a swing state now, which is
weird.
Right?
So, there are some swing states.
Did he win Ohio because of attacking the
Haitians?
Could that have put him, literally when we're
talking about this, we're talking about a couple
hundred votes puts you over the top.
Per state.
Not in the whole country, of course.
Per state.
Couple hundred could put you over the top.
Can you get me the latest polls?
I don't even know if these polls are
reliable, but, because in 2016, all the polls
were wrong.
But, let's just see what the polls are.
No, general election polls.
Hassan Aoun from Dearborn.
See?
From Dearborn, his neighboring city.
He says, today is a good day in
America.
An Arab-American mayor endorses Donald Trump.
So, clearly, in that world over there, between
Hamtramck and Dearborn, they have a reason that
they're pro-Trump.
They don't see things the way maybe we
see them.
Who says that?
Okay.
Find the opposite news station and see what
they say.
I was very impressed with him, and he
was a very big fan of the Trump
administration because he saw no wars outside of
defeating ISIS, but I inherited that.
But there were no wars, Trump said.
There was no October 7th.
There was no Russian attack on Ukraine.
He sees that, and he told me, he
saw a world that was at peace.
Now, we have a world that's going to
end up in World War 3 and I
can stop that.
I'm the only one that's going to stop
that.
I would have to say, if I was
to ever go into a meeting with Trump,
I gotta remind myself, you're going to meet
with a guy who is a snake oil
salesman.
He's a salesman.
He's going to be so nice.
He's going to be so flattering.
He's going to soften you up.
He's going to say what you need.
That's what they do.
Right?
You gotta take a vaccine against that.
Noah, what do you got?
Fox.
Wow.
That's crazy.
By one point?
That's crazy.
The percentage is so small.
It's kind of useless at that point.
At this early stage of the game.
Plus their polls.
Plus, who are they polling?
That's my question.
Where are they polling people?
The only polling that matters is a couple
states.
Georgia, Nevada, Arizona.
Get me the list of the current swing
states.
Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan.
Who?
Red?
Take Ohio.
Michigan, Wisconsin.
Arizona, Nevada, Georgia.
Who else?
Pennsylvania.
That's six.
Get me the list.
That's all that matters.
Chocolate Walla has Trump 47.1, Harris 49
.2. But keep in mind, battleground states, Trump
is up by 0.2%. That's all that
matters.
Let's say half of Florida and Texas came
out to vote because they know their state
is going red anyway.
But all of New York, New Jersey, California
went out to vote.
It's not going to make a difference.
So you can actually have more people come
out and vote for Harris and less people
vote for Trump and Trump still wins.
Our candidate A and B, whatever.
So it's not about the 48 and 49.
It's about the swing states.
That's what matters.
If all the Democrats in New Jersey get
pumped up about Harris and come out to
vote, it makes no difference whatsoever.
You just went from blue to very blue.
That does not do anything overall.
It's not going to make up for losses
in Ohio, Florida, or whatever.
Pennsylvania.
Harris is winning.
Michigan.
Harris is winning.
Who's alleging or who's polling?
CNN?
Two different polls.
Okay.
Fair enough.
Wisconsin.
Harris is leading.
Very small polls.
He's winning Arizona.
He's winning in Georgia.
He's winning in...
Wow.
It's going to be a very close election.
I wonder if there's going to be unrest.
If Trump loses, I think his people can
go nuts.
They're so charged.
I think they can go nuts.
I don't know what they would do, but
they would go nuts.
If all they do is tweet, you're lucky.
Right?
But they could actually go nuts.
I don't know how they're going to go
nuts.
But if he loses this one, they're going
to go nuts.
Ghalib's endorsement could turn Hamtramck, which was historically
Democrat.
Ghalib invited Trump to his city during their
meeting, which Trump told he was interested in
visiting.
Hamtramck, police chief Jameel Al-Tahri, he told
the Free Press that he has spoken with
the Trump campaign officials about logistics and security
for a possible Trump rally in Hamtramck.
He'll say takbir if it will get him
votes.
The endorsement is the latest blow for Democrats
trying to win over the Middle Eastern vote
in Michigan, which has the highest percentage of
Arab Americans among all states.
Last week, the uncommitted movement of Democrats, which
started in Dearborn, announced they will not endorse
Harris.
Some Muslim leaders are also upset with Michigan
Attorney General Dana Nessel for charging 11 pro
-Palestinian protesters.
Very interesting here.
We're going to see.
It's going to be really close.
I wonder where Michigan is in this swing
state.
Let's go to your Q&A.
That'll be the next segment.
What do we got here?
Let's open up YouTube and go to the
Q&A.
Harris is leading in Michigan.
He's in trouble.
Backs against the wall.
Then again, they did say that about Clinton.
And they said it about Biden.
Were there ever polls where the pollster said
that Trump was winning?
Any thoughts about Farrakhan, says Victoria.
May Allah guide him into Islam because he
is a person who knows the truth, I
think.
He knows very well the difference between Nation
of Islam and actual Islam.
And there were times where he would recite
Fatiha, pray with Muslims.
Allah will tell him what his Aqidah actually
is.
But may Allah guide him into Islam.
That's what we have to say.
Hmm?
Oppose.
Is this good news?
Bad news?
Marriage should be a smile then.
Here is your pose.
Poor guy's got to do the thumbnail every
single day.
He has to go and look for something
that works.
Give him something.
Questions?
We are not voting for Democrats.
We're not voting for Democrats.
We're not voting for Republicans.
There is a problem with that, by the
way.
You do risk becoming completely irrelevant.
That's the problem with this strategy.
Now, morally, principally, it's the best.
It's not that I'm not voting, I'm not
participating in the process to help to decrease
harm or bring some benefits.
No.
I'm intentionally not doing either one of these.
What do you do?
Vote for the Green Party?
I'm telling you, Green Party has under 250
,000 members.
Muslims, let's sign up for the Green Party
just for the fun of it, to see
what happens.
You never know what's going to happen.
Let's all sign up for the Green Party.
We will become 60% easily, if not
more, of the Green Party.
Let's just see what happens.
What do I have to lose?
Can you look up what the membership costs?
60 bucks or something?
We got the color already.
Aren't you just curious what would happen if
Muslims are 70% of the Green Party?
We could maybe start changing some of the
things that we don't like and dictating the
whole thing.
Stepmom says, Stepmommy says, The * scandal with
Stormy caused Trump lots of Christian supporters.
34 felonies as well.
Let's take a look at another thing here,
is that this question is about stepmoms, by
the way.
Stepmoms are to be respected just the way
you respect your mom, even if she isn't.
Your biological mom, she's not a woman.
She is your stepmom now.
What's the proof of that?
In Sharia, it has rules on this.
Sharia has rules.
You and your stepmom, whom your father has
consummated the marriage with, well, shall never marry
ever again.
You may see her without her hijab.
Your skin to skin is permitted to touch
and you can be alone with her.
You don't know that?
What planet are you guys living on, wearing
kufis and shawls, and you don't know this
basic hukum?
Huh?
Your stepmom, when your mom, let's hypothetically say
your dad has another wife that's not your
mom.
As soon as they consummate the marriage, that
woman is a mother to you regarding the
hurmah of marriage.
You can never marry her, ever.
And her children, her daughters, will not be
for you.
Her daughters and you are strangers to each
other in terms of that.
But her herself, she's like a mother to
you in that respect.
If you were a baby, if you were
a young man, I mean, you're mature, she
could still be in the car alone with
you, in the house alone with you, no
hijab, she doesn't wear hijab in front of
you, she can hug you, all that stuff.
Now because Allah has made that rule, you
have to honor that.
Clearly something's different.
So you have to have that respect there.
So stepmoms, stepdads, yes, they're not your biological
family or anything.
But they are so close to you that
you have to honor them and respect them.
And you have to treat them like that.
Back in the old days, a person will
have a lot of those step relationships back
when there were a lot of deaths and
there were polygamous marriages.
So you had stepmoms while your mom was
alive, you had stepmoms, right?
You may have three stepmoms at one time.
Maximum, that's all you could have.
But let's say he was to divorce those
three and marry another three.
They're still your stepmoms.
Except that to engage in that khalwah while
it's halal for you, becomes makrooh for one
other reason, is that the society may not
know that she's your stepmom.
So they say, why is he going alone
with the room with that woman?
Why is she going with that young man?
Society doesn't know that.
So you bring suspicion upon them.
So it becomes makrooh.
Look at this, folks.
This is for the winter.
This is like a blanket.
Yemeni threads?
Yemeni threads, folks.
What is the website?
You know Veller?
The hijab craze that goes out, right?
You see all the women running to their
phones to make the order?
And it's a hijab print that there's only
like 100 of them.
Or 200, right?
And they race to get the print.
You know about that?
He's doing the same thing.
There's a limited time offer on navy blue
with white stripes.
You Yankee fans?
Dallas Cowboy fans?
Here.
Change teams.
Change teams.
Bring on Bill Belichick, get rid of Dak
Prescott.
This Yemeni threads shawl, it's wintertime, it's thick,
it's heavy, it's white stripes on navy blue.
Go for it.
It's a very beautiful shawl and it's limited
time offering.
So it's not going to be something that's
available all the time.
I think that's the strategy, right?
That's what he should do.
Give me yours.
Is yours sold out too?
Huh?
Yemeni threads too?
Look at this one.
This one's got my car keys.
It's in the way?
Yeah, you go ahead.
It's downstairs in the kitchen.
Look at this color scheme.
Very nice on gray.
Beautiful.
New designs coming tomorrow.
He's got to go that route where there's
only like 50.
Code Sinan10.
Who's Sinan10?
Your Sinan?
Carmelo Anthony's lookalike is here.
Get over here.
I've said enough time.
Now I've got to show everybody.
First, come with the do-rag first.
Is this not Carmelo Anthony's lookalike?
Alright, can you take this off?
Show everyone what you've got here.
You might get married out of this.
Come.
Is this not Carmelo Anthony right here?
Look at that.
That's a lookalike of Carmelo Anthony.
Now pull up a picture of Carmelo.
Hey.
Pull it up.
Stay here.
Are you comfortable?
Make yourself comfortable.
We're going to be here for a while.
Until we get that picture of Carmelo Anthony.
Oh man.
See?
Look at that.
Pull it up.
And that's when he's older too.
Or get one without the bandana.
Without the that white bandana.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
It's fine.
Keep going.
No, not that one.
He doesn't have the braids.
Yeah, that one's good.
That one's really good.
That's when he was really young.
He was promising, but he wasn't a very
bright guy, Carmelo Anthony.
I mean, I don't want to say anything
bad about him, because he's a really nice
guy.
Right?
But, um...
He didn't want to be part of the
big three, you know that?
With the heat.
He could have been patient for one year,
and he would have been part of it.
They wanted him to be part of it.
Are they not...
Is that not the same person?
Just a younger version?
It's the same person.
You go out in the sun a little
bit more, right?
And you'd be the same complexion too.
Yeah.
So these are our guests in Dallas.
How old are you?
I'm 18.
Okay.
He's not eligible.
Yet.
I don't think.
He is?
Yeah, well, he's definitely eligible, but...
In most conceptions and concepts.
Here's a question.
Alright, you can take your seat now.
What do you say to those...
Adam Frandercorn.
Adam Frandercorn, I see your question, right?
We're trying not to go into those theological
mudslinging anymore.
I'm not saying you're mudslinging, but it definitely
would lead to that.
But I ensure you that the Ashari Aqidah
is supported by hundreds of thousands of ulama
from the Hanafis, Shafis, and Marikis.
So have no worry about that.
There is nothing to be concerned about if
you're going to study that.
And while we're at it, Omar, when you
get a second, fire up Sheikh Murabit's Aqidah
track.
And Eddie, you ready to start your Arabic
track?
You ready?
I mean, Eddie.
Ali, you ready to start up your Arabic
track?
Alright, you start up today, inshallah.
Okay.
Yeah, he's going to start up with Sheikh
Mahdi.
But let's get the picture of Sheikh Murabit
there.
You can take advanced Ashari Aqidah.
When we say advanced, we mean it will
get advanced.
It starts with intermediate.
Right?
So how could you say advanced Ashari Aqidah,
but the prerequisite is just Fiqh Al-Akbar
or Tahawih, or something equivalent.
The answer is that it will get advanced.
It's right now you're going to go through
the intermediate books first, and then you'll get
advanced.
So put up a picture of Sheikh Murabit
there and that will be your mentor.
He will be your Sheikh in Aqidah.
And by the way, he is my Sheikh
in Aqidah too.
I'm starting classes with him, Sunday.
You should always have mentors, always have Shuyukh.
There's no such thing, I just finished my
Fiqh class now.
No such thing as Qalas, you're just a
free agent floating around.
What if you start making mistakes?
What if your mind starts getting dull?
What if your ego starts to reject the
concept of being corrected and submitting to what
our elders have said?
We have no Mujtahids here.
There's not going to be a Mujtahid here.
Right?
You're going to submit to what your elders
said.
People ask me all the time, what do
you say about this or that?
Like our friend recently posted a video.
What do you say of someone who says
this is a Kufr or Bidah?
Why do you ask me what I say?
Do you think I'm a Mujtahid?
I'm a Naql.
That's it.
This is Naql.
The error could be if I transmitted wrong.
Get the picture, not just, oh people want
to see the curriculum?
Okay, good.
Yeah, keep it like that.
Keep it like this.
Let them see all that.
We're Naqal here.
That's what we are.
We're Mudarrasin.
There's no Mujtahid and Fatwa happening here.
If there's an error made, it's an error
of transmitting something.
You transmitted it wrong.
Or explaining it improperly.
As for the appropriateness, the timing of saying
something, the way you said something, that's all
up for discussion.
That's subjective.
That's like, I don't like the way he
talks.
I love the way this guy talks.
That's all subjective.
Who cares about that?
The timing of something, yeah, that could be
problematic.
Saying something at the wrong time in the
wrong setting, yeah, that's a problem.
There is a place and time for everything.
That's also something.
But all those are just matters of discussion
and common sense and taste and style.
But the content is nothing other than what's
been in these books of our Shaykh for
ages.
And I want to tell you something else
too.
When we quote one of the elders in
our tradition, one of the pillars of our
tradition, when I quote al-Imam al-Nawawi
or Imam ibn Hajar al-Asqalani on a
matter such as al-Mawlid, we're not saying
that just because he said it means it's
the absolute only truth.
No.
We're saying it is qawlun mu'tabar.
It's definitely a valid opinion.
It's a respectable opinion.
It's a actionable opinion because it comes from
one of those.
That does not mean they're not other opinions.
And that does not mean he could potentially
be wrong.
He's not masoom.
He's not the primary source of religion.
He is a great analyzer and faqih and
scholar.
When he says something it means it has
weight.
That means if I act upon it, don't
blame me.
That's what it means.
If I preach it to people, don't blame
me for that.
You can't blame me for that.
It's something that's been said.
So when we quote them, it doesn't mean
that we think he's the primary source of
religion.
Someone brought that up to me the other
day and said that some people said that
because you said, you quote Ibn Hajar, you
think Ibn Hajar, that's the only, that makes
it the only opinion?
No, of course not.
You think I'm dumb?
These people, right?
There will be someone super who says that.
Okay?
I mean, I don't mean to talk like
that, but you know what I mean.
That's silly.
It would be silly for someone to imagine
that just by quoting a veteran from our
ummah, that that's the qawl al-fasl.
It's not the qawl al-fasl.
It's qawl al-mu'tabar.
It's a strong and valid and actionable fatwa.
I can act upon this now without haraj.
When Ibn Hajar says something and you give
me a list of people who say this,
like him, I act upon it without haraj.
No.
And I preach it to people without haraj.
But I also say keep in mind it's
a qawl.
It's a fatwa.
It's ijtihad.
There is a dhamn in it.
It could be right.
It could be wrong.
We think it's right.
And we're going to act upon it.
That's the nature of fatwa.
Alright?
Fatima Khatun thinks this scarf is so nice.
So mashallah.
Get it for your husband.
Get it for your dad.
Okay?
Saw says, man, that's mellow.
Okay?
Stepmom says, how handsome.
Look at this.
Handsome guy, she says.
Okay?
Mashallah.
Marriage service over here.
Yeah, I'm still up in the YouTube comments
section.
They must be talking about our man over
here.
Doesn't he look like Carmelo Anthony?
They're talking about mellow.
Okay.
Question, is it allowed in the madakih school
to force or compel a virgin into marriage
who either still has her virginity or lost
it without *?
Sofian says.
Do you mean that she may be dating
a guy and then her dad forces her
into marriage?
Is that what you mean by this?
I don't know about that.
You know that a dad, he can contract
his daughter's marriage without her consent.
It simply means, I'm transferring my responsibility for
you to another man.
And he also has the right to be
with you physically at the same time.
But he can't harm her.
He can't injure her.
So that can't happen.
But in our fiqh, that's the rule.
How to deal with a situation of infidelity?
How do we advise senior or older, like
an uncle, family members involved in illicit relationship
and feeling of family members who found out?
It's one of those big long sessions at
night.
At the kitchen table with the whole family
there or at the imam's office.
It's a musiba.
Musiba.
Meaning you found out that your mom or
dad is committing zina with another guy.
Right?
Or with another person.
There's nothing that I can answer right now
that will help you.
Except get your families together.
Get the imams.
Even if it's not an imam, a wise
person in the family.
And see how you want to deal with
it.
However, also I can tell you certain things
should not be exposed.
You might think this sounds crazy.
There was once a situation where a sister
in the community met a co-worker who
was not Muslim.
She had a co-worker who was not
Muslim.
The co-worker began telling her that she's
interested in Islam because she's about to marry
a Muslim.
Except that that Muslim is going through a
divorce.
Once he finishes his divorce, he's going to
marry me.
And I'll enter Islam and be with him.
Lo and behold, this so-called man, Muslim
that she wants to marry, she knows him.
And he's a happily married guy.
He's lying and committing and going out with
this girl.
Who knows what they did, but he's going
out with this woman.
To the point that they're always together at
work.
Turns out they all work in the same
place.
And turns out that he's telling her, I'm
going to divorce that woman and I'll marry
you.
But socially she knows they're fine.
They're okay.
We see them all the time.
Now she has a dilemma, right?
Does she go tell her friend, your husband
is cheating on you or cooking something up?
She goes and she asks the imam.
That imam, he was an African-American imam.
All white hair, white beard.
That means he's lived.
He's seen life.
That doesn't necessarily mean that you're correct about
things.
But when you're an imam and you're in
the dean and you're trusted by the people
in your community and we've seen you hold
the community together in many important ways, that
gives us a lot of confidence in your
advice.
She then, the imam then said to her,
don't tell her.
Rather, leave a message for him, an anonymous
message for him and scare him off.
Write an anonymous note saying, I'm fully aware
of what's going on.
I'm not going to say anything if you
stop.
Break off with that other woman and stop
playing games.
Stick that note where he's going to see
it.
Within a few weeks, it was all over.
Fast forward 10 years, the couple, they're still
happily married.
The wife never knew about this potentially earth
-shattering, devastating misguidance that that other guy was
on.
Misbehavior that that other guy was on.
If she knew what would have happened, they
probably would have had a terrible divorce, terrible
everything.
Kids would have been through it.
I felt that that was wise advice.
And that's what happened.
That's an example.
Certain things, you want to try to hide
them.
You're not covering it up so he can
continue.
Keep in mind, you're hiding while trying to
stop him from doing it.
That's the difference.
You're hiding this sinful behavior from the damage
that it can cause while simultaneously scaring him
off.
And she scared him off.
She said, end it now or I'll tell
your wife.
DK asked a question about wiswas.
Come on, do you really believe all this
stuff, man?
I don't know if it was my own
arrogance, voice is killing me.
DK, nothing like this is surprising.
It's just shaitan, maybe our nafs.
And the solution is knowledge.
Keep seeking knowledge.
Keep learning knowledge of aqeedah.
Learning the proofs of the prophethood.
Proofs of the Quran.
These are the strongest proofs.
Rational proofs on the existence of God.
He said he's not Muslim.
He's been studying Islam and I have no
argument against it.
I'm on the verge of accepting it but
there's a voice inside me that keeps me
from doing it.
What can I do to question it?
You take the shahadah right now if you
believe it's true.
Action stops wiswas.
The wiswas will all end if you take
action.
Shaitan does not want you to take action.
So if DK were to write right now,
I bear witness it's an unworthy worship but
Allah Muhammad is his messenger.
Sayyid Muhammad Daniel Arkview starts next week.
Sunday.
Adam Bawami, a ruling of wiping over the
socks in the Maliki Madhab.
Khuf or bust.
Khuf or nothing else.
Why?
Because it's a rukhsah and Malik does not
make analogy on a rukhsah.
Is the soul capable of perceiving?
For sure.
Are tastes, hearings, might smell not a product
of physical senses?
They are a product of physical senses for
sure.
What's the proof of that?
Because if I burn my finger I can't
feel anymore, right?
But we do say that the soul can
perceive, have those senses externally to itself.
Imam al-Ghazali gives the example and he
says, in a dream, you literally feel that
you're touching something, smelling something.
People can literally say, Wallahi, I smell the
smell of this or that or the other
in a dream.
I saw beautiful colors.
I felt, I touched but if there was
a camera on you clearly nothing happened in
the room except you sleeping.
Ghazali says, that shows that the soul when
it leaves the body and only a string
of it a thin attachment while you're sleeping,
if it's completely cut, you're dead.
So a little bit of an attachment.
That's from the Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ
by the way.
That it goes into the realm of the
souls and it experiences things and that's what
you're seeing in the dream and feeling and
all that.
So, that's where the ulama say, the ruh
has all this.
Once your ruh is back in your body
and you wake up, it's as if your
body overpowers your ruh and you can no
longer your soul is like a prisoner to
your body.
Those whose spirituality becomes so strong then their
body is controlled by the ruh at that
point.
Is it better to work before or after
Friday prayer is over or is it makrooh
tanzeeh?
Can a person use Friday as a day
of rest if one can take off work
and attend Jummah, Salah and then rest?
The only thing that we're not allowed to
do is try to imitate the Sabbath.
That's what we're not allowed to do.
Try to imitate the Sabbath.
So, if you were to do any kind
of work in the house like empty the
dishwasher, clean a cup, you've done work, right?
You've negated the concept and even with your
intent.
Let's say a person's schedule says, you know
what, my schedule, the best thing for me
is to take off on Jummah.
Otherwise, I can't do all the good deeds
before Jummah, take ghusl, recite surat al-kaf,
put my nice clothes on, go to the
masjid, attend Jummah, then go do anything else.
You can do that.
Even in Maliki fiqh you're even allowed to
fast on Jummah.
The other madhhabs don't because Jummah is like
a little holiday and we don't fast on
holidays.
But you just have to not, what you're
not allowed to have is the intent of
mimicking the Sabbath and imitating the Sabbath such
that you would say today, no work, no
leisure, no buying and selling, only ibadah and
dhikr so that we can imitate the Sabbath.
That you're not allowed to do.
I guess if you flip a light switch,
if you were to use the fridge or
what else are they not allowed to do?
Cut the toilet paper.
Oh man, you guys saw that one?
They're not allowed to cut the toilet paper.
What fiqh is that?
That's from Moses?
They had toilet paper in that time?
Is that really the picture you're going to
put up Omar?
Are you trolling us?
No, that picture is good, but this background.
Put Yeah, yeah, put like a nice wedding
table.
One of those really nicely done wedding tables.
We got to wrap up because we got
Tasawwuf class next on Tuesdays at 3.30
we read from the books of al-Habib
Omar al-Habib al-Haddad Imam Abdullah bin
Ali al-Haddad the Ba'adawi books.
No, get it from Google.
Get it from Unsplash.
Oh, Unsplash is a really good website.
The file sizes are huge.
Yeah, like go and just type in nice
wedding table or something.
See what comes up.
You know Omar is making the We're the
most informal podcast out there.
Talking about the thumbnail while we're doing it.
I can't be formal.
I can't be formal.
We need it landscape.
Go down, I'll tell you which one is
nice.
Go down.
Yeah, that one's good.
Go over, over.
No, no.
Go back.
That one.
Yeah, I like that one.
That one's nice.
The first one and the third one are
nice.
I like those colors.
Yeah, the third one's nice, right?
Melo says it's nice.
How do you tie a turban?
I'll show you how to tie a turban.
Basically you hold the, I can't show you
but you so blur it.
You're going to blur it anyway, aren't you?
You're going to hold the tail here.
Then you wrap it.
Some do over the ear.
Some do under the ear.
Go around once.
Do it again.
Go around the second time.
Tuck it in.
Pull it out.
That's it.
Speak.
I like the rule in Morocco.
Morocco they would say anyone can wear a
turban.
Back in the old days there was like
a rule of thumb.
Anyone can wear a small turban.
Two to four wraps.
But the eight wrap, only the scholars wear
that.
Why?
Because it's almost like the lab coat.
Only a doctor wears that so that you
can ask them a medical question.
Police outfit, only a cop can wear that.
You're not allowed to go around.
I don't think you're allowed to go around
wearing a uniform with a fake badge because
then people may think you're a cop and
treat you that way.
Same thing with medical knowledge.
So likewise I think that's what was the
rule with Shuyukh.
Is that only the big turban can be
worn by the official Mufti.
Mujaz fil Fatwa.
That's what I think that the rule used
to be.
Taliban, regular Muslim can wear this two wrap
turban, four wraps, three wraps.
Four wraps is even huge now.
Two wraps is enough.
You can't have one wrap.
It's not a point.
You would know best.
Would that be a bandana, do-rag?
Sayyid Muhammad Daniel, we don't have all packages
of for Arkview but if you wanted to
do some big one and get like three
or four, we could probably work with you
privately because very few people do that.
Is a turban allowed to cover the forehead?
Yes.
You are allowed to pray on one fold
of the turban.
A lot of good questions.
Ruling of shaking hand with a non-mahram?
Forbidden.
But if there's gloves, it's still forbidden but
you didn't lose your wudu in madaki school
because you didn't have a skin to skin
touch.
It would still be forbidden.
Is it permissible to reject a potential spouse
because you are not physically attracted to them?
Yes, yes it is.
It is.
The khitab is for the wali.
As a wali, if a man comes to
you and you accept his religion and you
accept his character, then you permit him.
You are accepting of him.
That doesn't mean the girl is accepting of
him.
The girl may say no, his appearance is
not appealing to me.
You should not force that type of thing
because you are going to end up with
a regret.
Can you address the origin of the mawlid?
Is it from Fatima Ismaili Shia in Egypt
and then Sunni rulers spread it?
Well, I think it appeared in Morocco earlier
and there were no Shia there.
Someone has an article on that.
I couldn't tell you, to be honest with
you.
But it did appear in Morocco and there
were no Fatima Shia there.
You can find it.
Someone wrote an article on them.
You got to run?
All right, let's wrap up because we have
to go to class.
So many questions I wish I can answer.
Let's take one more question here.
As a convert, sometimes a cousin will come
to give me a hug.
What should I do?
You have to tell him in some way
maybe not in the future or in advance
like from now.
Leak it to the family.
Tell all the aunts and uncles, no one
hug me.
I'm a Muslim now.
You can't hug me, right?
You can't touch me anymore.
You can't see me without my hair anymore.
Just leak it to somebody to tell everybody
else in a way that no one feels
like at the moment I just got this
surprise.
From which hadith is the statement the best
knowledge is experienced knowledge?
I don't know about such a hadith.
Last question.
When washing the feet in wudu with flowing
water, is it sufficient if one had grabbed
the water with his hand and spilled it
down on his feet?
The answer is as long as the water
moved, then the answer is yes.
The water has to move on the limb
and it does not have to move on
the whole limb.
It moves on a bulk of the limb.
You pour the water from a cup like
this.
It moved on the bulk of the limb
and then you moved it around and washed
it.
That is in Maliki law.
Maliki Ijtihad of Imam Malik.
The Ijtihad of Abu Hanifa and Shafi'i
is different.
Hanifis do not require dalk.
Right?
They don't require dalk.
Are there seven Earths?
We can go into the Tafsir of Al
-Aradeen Al-Sabah and we can answer that
because it is a good question.
What is the meaning of Al-Aradeen Al
-Sabah?
The seven skies and the seven Earths?
We will look at that.
Subhanakallahumma wa bihamdik nashadu an la ilaha illa
anta nastaqfuruk wa natubu ilayk wa al-asr
inna al-insana la fee khusr illa al
-lazeena aamanu wa aaminu al-salihaat wa tawasoo
bilhaq wa tawasoo bil-sabr.