Shadee Elmasry – Sh Mikaeel Ahmed Smith The Emotional Intelligence of the Prophet Part 2
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AI: Transcript ©
Think about this book that I am asking all of you to purchase, you
will realize that in ninth century, our scholars were
treating mental health as a, as a science itself as a separate
science than just coming to the imam for help. He gives methods
for helping people that are in mental difficulties, anxiety,
nervousness, anger, all types of different feelings that we go
through how to treat that it's something that Muslim physicians
specialized in as far back as the ninth century. And we need to
realize that that's just part of life. And we don't have to
separate soul from the mind in order to treat the sicknesses of
the mind.
Now, that doesn't mean obviously, that we don't use it up here. We
don't use these things as well. But that means we also add, we
also add to that methods to keep the soul and the mind healthy.
Okay. All right. So the so the point here to understand is, when
we ask this question, I'm gonna go back to the main question. Now
we're going to move into emotional intelligence right now in a
minute, but I'm asked this question again. When you separate
mind from the immaterial aspect of human existence.
I'm gonna say that again, when you separate the mind from the enmity
from the from the immaterial aspect of our existence. Now, when
you ask this question, you're no longer asking a question that is
related to the solar the roof.
So when ye had been woken up, it says that the most African African
person the most intelligent person is the prophesy send them and when
Imams Azadi says that the most intelligent person is the prophesy
setting them he's talking about a different type of, of intelligence
that popular society today is not qualifying or quantifying or was
not quantifying as intelligence. And that's what leads us into the
concept of emotional intelligence and moral intelligence, which
we'll be talking about today. Okay, let's go forward. Now. If
you take a look, here, we're talking about Aqua. I call in the
Arabic language actually means to tie something up. It's like a
knot. It's like a knot. And the reason you can't see the picture,
there's a picture of a knot there. The reason that it's it's the word
for the intellect is awkward, is because the aka is supposed to be
that faculty, which restrains the human being or holds back the
human being, where the desires would like something the Ockel
holds it back, right where the emotion wants something, the
outcome holds it back. So the Ockel is that means by which the
human being is controlled. Now there's a another aspect as well,
which is the uncle knows its limitation. The uncle knows that
where it where its limit within which it can,
it can work hence it doesn't go beyond to Allah subhanho wa taala.
And that's why Peter Kreft in Socratic logic, he writes that
rational or logic is not something against religion, but an aid to
religion. Logic, the study of logic is not something against
religion, but an aid to religion. And the reason that is so is
because the aka is set straight by logic. Like sound reasoning is
what logic teaches you just like grammar teaches you sound speech.
So Peter craft writes, In Socratic logic, that logic is a tool for
the theist logic is a tool for the theist. This will only make sense
when you realize that the Ockel is the tool by which we recognize
Allah subhanho wa taala.
Okay, so now, here, I'm going to ask you to look now on your notes
to these right after
right on page two, page three please.
Imam who has to be Imam has to be is a scholar that lived at the
same time of Imam Ahmed been humble and other great scholars.
He lived in Baghdad was born in the year once 165 Hijiri and lip
until 243. Imam Ghazali is most imam who has to be is most most
known for his influence. Later on Imam Ghazali he wrote such books
that inspired the works of Imam Ghazali later on, but he was
someone who wrote extensively on the APA on the intellect and on
intelligence. And the reason he did that is because okay, we now
have more handouts for everyone. If you don't have a handout, can
you
These raise your hand in sha Allah wow okay I'm gonna wait so we can
pass these out in sha Allah so that everyone can stick with us in
sha Allah
keep your hands raised in the shower so we know who doesn't have
one
and we're on page three imamo has this theory of intelligence
okay, it seems that all the brothers now have one sha Allah
and
is that it?
They're still sisters that don't have it
Okay, please. If you don't have it, that whole row doesn't have
it. Maybe you can sit next to someone who does have it because
these notes are very important.
All right, okay and sha Allah
Okay, so moving forward now. Um We're still discussing the Afghan
we're still understanding how classical early early Muslims
understood the Auckland its role.
So Imam who has to be is an ideal person for studying the icon and
studying intelligence. Why? And remember, I want everyone to
understand why we're doing this. The beginning statement is that
the prophesy Saddam is the most intelligent, but if we don't
understand what intelligence is and how the early Muslims
understood intelligence, hence how we should understand intelligence,
it's very difficult for us to, for us to quant qualify that statement
and understand how intelligent the prophets of Allah it was salam was
the reason why Imam has to be is ideal for studying here. Point one
and two is he was an early Muslim. He lived in the second century. So
he's an early Islamic scholastic and he lived during the time of
the Morteza or the rationalist. So he was pushed pushing back against
extreme rationality. So he was walking that Allah sunnah was
GEMA, tightrope between the rationalists were trying to say,
You know what, we don't even need any revelation. All we need is
rationality and we don't need anything else.
So imamo has to be the name of Allah he says, The noun after the
noun. Alkyl itself is not found in the Quran. These are my notes.
These are not my Maha CDs. This is from the book that I'm writing on
this topic. The noun alkyl itself is not found in the Quran. If you
open the entire Quran, will you ever find the word aka? No, you
won't find the word up. However, its variable form occurs 46 times
in the Quran. So 46 times throughout the entire Quran, Allah
Subhana Allah says, aren't you thinking? Why don't you think use
your thinking, use this article that Allah Allah Subhana Allah
gave you, the majority of those mentions are connected to the
signs of Allah such as trees, vegetations, planetary movements,
celestial objects, and the remnants of past nations. What
this means is, every time Allah subhanaw taala mentions the
destruction of a previous nation. He says, Think about that. Use
your apple whenever Allah subhanaw taala mentions the creation,
whether it be you know, the mountains and stars, all of these
amazing things. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, contemplate over that
next point, Allah subhanho wa Taala calls upon the apple to
reflect upon these things to deduce from that reflection, the
greatness of Allah so again, the uncle's role is to lead you to
Allah Subhana Allah to Allah. Next point, Imam has to be their MO
Bala Tada describes the Word icon, referring to three different
things. There's a basic level of intellect given directly by Allah
to those who are responsible. This is that base level of intellect
that I was speaking about earlier, that makes one legally responsible
before Allah subhanho wa taala. The second level of intellect is a
deeper understanding called fan or understanding. The third level of
intellect is called Sierra, which is something we'll talk in detail
later on.
Another term which emammal has to be used to explain the first
meaning is called was the implanted newer light
Within the creation by which we see and express that which we
know, he felt that just as the eyes had sight, which was a
natural quality placed within the majority of creation, so towards
the intellect a natural type of sight placed within the majority
of creation through which we see, let me explain this point.
Imam Imam has to be, and many other scholars looked at it this
way, human beings have physical sight that we see through the
eyes. In Arabic that is called bustle. That's called bustle. Now,
that site, in order for it to work is dependent on a few things. One,
there's something external to the eyes that's necessary for site to
happen. And what is that light. Now the site is the eye itself has
to be functional. But external to the functional eye, there's
something else which is light. So without the light, the eye doesn't
see anything.
Imamo has to be another set the Ockel that Allah subhanaw taala
has given us
the Ockel that Allah subhanho wa Taala has given us is the Syrah
it's called the Sierra and the Sierra also needs external light,
in order to see correctly and that external light is what
is revelation of Allah.
Please understand this point because this is going to be how we
go forward and break down moral intelligence and emotional
intelligence of the prophets of Allah who it was Sunday. So again,
I Please understand this point that you have busser and you have
Busey Robusta physical site, right buffer, physical sight, it's how I
see everything the light has to be on, I need external light, but I
also need eyes that actually work. The article, in order to see the
article has to be sound, first and foremost. And on top of that,
that's why Allah says noon.
Allah new, the newer of archon, combined with the new order of
revelation is how we see.
It's how we see the knower of aka the knower of the intellect.
Combined with the light of revelation is the means by which
we see.
So imamo has to be throughout his works. Yes, the *.
What did I say?
The newer of aka the light of Africa, combined with the light of
revelation.
See, can I go a little deeper? Is it okay? Is this content too
dense? Because if it is we can skip straight to the emotional
intelligence stuff.
Okay, you guys are with Dr. Shadi for crying out loud, man. Like, I
figured if I can go deep anywhere, it's here. You know what I'm
saying? Okay.
Early, early science, we thought that the eyes had light.
Early science, they used to see the light of you know, to it,
right? The light of my eyes know what I mean? Right? Early science
thought that the light had the eyes had light. And we even called
the eye light. But we found out later that no, the eyes don't have
light. The eyes are dependent on external light to see. So buzzer
physical sight, needs external light in order to function. Now,
the uncle is interesting, because the uncle sees things first and
foremost, by seeing what do I mean,
understanding, understanding the uncle sees things to understand.
But we say when you don't have Revelation,
the alcohol may work but it can't see well.
It's struggling
to see clearly. What is that thing? And when the light is
turned on Revelation, the Ockel sees now. Now here's something
we're gonna go a little deeper. Okay.
We are the only species that has metacognition, to our knowledge.
What is metacognition?
The ability to think about thoughts. You know, when you were
a kid, you were like, like, why am I me?
Right? This dude was doing it yesterday.
He was doing it yesterday. He's like, Yo, am I really me like,
What makes me me? Like so you know that that ability to think about
yourself? That ability to think about your thoughts is
metacognition and to our knowledge, modern science. We are
the only creation that has the ability to think about
themselves. You know what Rosie says, when he talks about Northern
Ireland, he says, one of the major distinctions write this down. A
major distinction between busser and Busey era, is that the Busey
era is aware of what it sees. The buzzer is not aware of what it
sees, write it down, I'll explain it. The Vasila
is conscious of what it sees. The akal Can, can can understand or
comprehend what it is seen. But the eyes don't comprehend what it
sees. Can I give an example? If I take binoculars, right? And I put
them on my face? Are the binoculars aware of what it's
seen?
Exactly. Am I able to understand and am I aware of what I'm seeing?
Yeah, yes.
So what he says here is that the Ockel is the only thing in
creation. Now remember, from the beginning of today's class, what
was the thing that human beings were given different from the rest
of creation, a rational soul that had occurred?
And alcohol is the only thing that we know that has stumped
philosophers, that is aware of itself. It knows what it sees. So
when you see a sunset, you can say Subhan Allah
can i Say Subhan Allah? Because it doesn't have caught it doesn't
know it's seen.
Is this to you guys? Y'all with me?
Like it doesn't know it seeing what are you saying?
Let me try that one more time.
The rest of the Creation sees the creation of God. It sees the
creation of Allah. But the Ockel is the only thing that science
tells us is able to think of itself and know that it exists
metacognition, everyone understands up till there. That is
what is unique in human existence.
Now, the role of us being here is to stay s head to Allah, Allah,
Allah Allah. That's the entire purpose of all of this to see
something beautiful and Say Subhan Allah to see something and go.
McCulloch to Hyderabad to the Subhanak This is amazing. Allahu
Akbar, La ilaha illa Allah as Cedi what is a shadow me?
I bear witness. Can the buzzer bear witness? Can the basura bear
witness? Thank you, y'all get what I'm saying. We hear we hear?
Yes.
Oh, yes, for sure. And in fact, the question is without Buster Can
you have the CETA In fact, many times when the busser is blinded
in loss, but Sita is sharpened.
The casita is sharpened because of its not being bombarded with
physical material things, it opens up to the spiritual ability to see
the reason why I'm putting this this way. And you have to
understand it is because when we talk about emotional intelligence,
emotional intelligence is one of the intelligences of the Archon.
And many people don't have that but Syrah they either have poor
eyesight, or poor lighting in the room.
I hope you got the metaphor.
People that don't have emotional intelligence, either I'm gonna say
it again either the eyes aren't good. The tool by which they use
is not good, or they haven't turned the lights on enough. My My
point here is to show you one of the aspects which is the most
important aspect and my estimation of the Prophet Mohammed sighs
Adams aka which is the emotional intelligence and the emotional
intelligence is the means by which the prophet of God is going to
transfer the message to other people. I'm gonna say that again.
Just the last part. The emotional intelligence is the tool by which
the message of Allah is transferred over into other
people.
One more time, the emotional intelligence
which is part of the alpha
is the tool by which the means by which the message of Allah Subhana
Allah to Allah is transferred into other people.
If the prophesy centum was not blessed by Allah with a high
emotion
All intelligence, it would be very difficult for him to perform the
exact purpose for which he was sent, which was to pass on the
message.
Does everyone understand?
Any questions up till now?
Yes
Okay.
I think most of us have not done what we're going to do throughout
this class. And we're just getting started started. I don't know what
he said about lunch at 230. I didn't hear that.
This is soul food right here. We can eat later. Real food. But we
got to get through this. I got a lot of content for you. And I
think y'all really want it. You battled through the north eastern
to come and all that. Like,
Okay, listen, look at this statement. It's a little fuzzy,
it's not in your notes. I'm gonna read it out loud. I'm sorry that
we can't make it more clear. Imam a su ha water D He says whoever
contemplates the prophets of Allah, who it was salam, excellent
management of the Arabs, who are like wild scattered beasts, and
whose repulsive and aloof natures with repulsive and loose natures,
and how he led them and more patiently with their hoarseness,
and harms until they began to follow him and rally under him and
fight against their own families and fathers and sons for his sake,
and how they prefer him over their own selves and immigrated from
their homelands. And beloved, for His pleasure. All this he did, in
spite of not having a hobby not having prior experience, despite
him not reading books, from any narrative of past nations could
have been, where he could have learned these things. Indeed, if
you contemplate these things, you will come to the realization that
he was the most intelligent of all creation. Let me explain this for
those who can't see it, listen, in order to take hood people, people
that are rough around the edges, right? People are rough around the
edges, we are how we are we come like that whatever, what's up,
whoever can take such rough people
and culture them and train them and live with them amicably and
make them leaders force for the world, who went to China in India
and around the world
and created a global movement out of these rough people. If you just
study that, you'll realize he was the most intelligent person ever.
And he couldn't read.
That's why it came from Revelation.
That level of intelligence came from Revelation, the sign of his
intelligence, the sign of Your intelligence is your ability to be
around people and inspire positive change in people not to run off
and go into library and just sit there and not deal with nobody.
But to actually be there amongst the people to be amongst them and
then to transform them. That's the sign of the prophesy Saddam's
intelligence no younger take a picture brother, you could buy the
book inshallah beyond two months
of just picking on you, I'm sorry.
Okay, does everyone understand this point? Because now is how we
enter into emotional intelligence. This is the segue right into
emotional intelligence. Because you cannot guide people you cannot
connect to people until you emotionally understand them. Until
you are emotionally cognizant of who they are. There's more
pronounce. We have a few more pronounce
just a few of them. Okay, okay, inshallah. I'm so sorry. You guys
mashallah out of love faecal, let me give an example.
We're looking up here right now, we're not looking at the notes.
We're looking up here right now.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam one day was sitting in the
masjid.
A young man walks into the masjid ready to accept Islam.
And the young men ready to accept Islam sits with the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he hears everything about Islam
Sounds great. Sounds good. Love it you guys doing all types of good
things? I love it man. It's cool. He goes Yes, but I got one
condition ya rasool Allah.
Allow me to commence in and I'll be Muslim.
Stop for long. It's not fair Allah. Stuff for Allah. The Sahaba
were just like, how can What do you say?
In front of the prophesy Sedna
They jumped out right away what's going on? How could you even ask
such a question?
The prophesy Salam sat with this young man.
He brought him close to him.
And he began to talk to him gently.
And he triggered something inside of him. Empathy.
See, see people who are abusive, and psychopath, they have
something in common. They lack the ability to empathize for people.
They lack the ability for empathy to feel and put themselves in the
place of other people.
They can't they can't do that. A child can't do it either until the
age is around four or five. And we'll talk about that. They can't
a child I have a two year old. Well, he's got he gets it now. You
know, the point where they smack you. And then it gets to a point
where they know they smack in you.
Know, I'm saying right. You don't got kids? The younger you you'll
see you don't get little brother.
No, in front of you. Know, behind you. Yes. You. Yes. You have kids,
right. Brothers,
younger sisters, so you don't remember that time when they
they'll smack you?
Very well. Okay, exactly. Alright, so you gotta give me some like
feedback right here.
So there's an age that comes and we're going to talk about that
inshallah.
Where were the lowest level of like, empathy is when a child see
this child here smiling, scratching.
Presumably, he doesn't know what his brother's feeling.
He doesn't know. He has no end. He doesn't have them be octal yet,
it's not developed yet. The Ockel is not developed yet for that
person to have empathy and actually feel what someone else is
going through.
But there comes a age when they start to know what they're doing.
And they're smacking you on purpose. And we stop there. You
get what? You're gonna get one back. You can get one back. Now
what? Now? What he did is he said to that young man, do you have a
mother? Yeah, I have a mother. Do you have a sister? Yeah, I have a
sister. Now he's telling me about your mom and sister. He's he's
making his mind now think about them. Oh, my mom and my mom. You
know, she's like this. Now she makes those nice nines, you know,
in the morning for me and you know, she wakes me up for Fudger
turns the lights on like, the lights pop. Whatever.
You have a sister. Yeah, yeah, she gets on my nerves on time did it
it, did it. And he goes, What if someone committed Zina with her
stuff? ferula La hawla wala Quwata illa biLlah? No way Ah,
ah, but you want to commit Zina with someone else's mother or
sister. He realized the light came on.
The light came on. Now look at this. Now let's go back guys. You
see this?
The goal? The goal is the moral intelligence. The goal is to teach
someone Zina is wrong.
But it won't happen without what?
X Exactly.
It won't happen unless you understand people. You understand
that young man, you understand who he is, then you can transfer that
that over to him. So emotion look at that note there write that
down. Emotional Intelligence is going to be the tool through which
the moral compass is calibrated. This is the tool by which people
are given moral intelligence which comes through revelation.
Okay, everyone understand this up to now. Any questions?
Okay, now,
go yes, for sure.
I want you to look at your notes for a moment please.
At the bottom of page three, please. The last point the last
point on page three the last point
someone read for me
wants to read that one.
Read a Bismillah.
Yes, Read Loudly please.
belt that upright actions are what inform you about the
icon of a person not what they know what they do go forward.
Their actions?
Yeah, yes. That is how imamo has to be looked at often. He says
ultimately it is that the conduct of the person the actions of the
person that are indicative.
Add up the intelligence of that person. Go ahead
behavioral understanding, regulation, modifications to the
definition Yes, behavioral understanding behavioral
regulation, behavioral modification. All of these come
under intelligence. Once we see that imamo has to be says no it is
your behavior it is your action.
That tells us how educated you are. Now it's interesting if you
look at certain languages, one of the one of the words we use for
someone who there's a word in Urdu they say, but tummies
now the word tummies, the word tummies, comes from the Arabic
majors that you may use it to give weight to something, May as a Misa
MAY Yes. Or you may use it to weight and a bad tummies means the
lack of tummies.
So the word used for someone who can't behave in a correct setting
is someone who lacks the ability to understand the circumstances
and use their mind to regulate their mind and modify their
behavior. So we even use it in our common language, that intellect is
connected to behavior. And that's what the mom does. The imam who
has to be here is saying, He's saying upright actions are what
truly informed us about the quality and soundness of one's
intellect. Regardless of what a person may know, it is ultimately
their actions that determine
whether or not whether they are considered intelligent or not.
Going down further, this is why we have made emotional intelligence
and essential fundamental elements of the Archon.
The Quran says Allah says, what your Allah Who knew what any emcpe
fineness and we made for you a life by which you walk amongst the
people. That verse is very important, please highlight that
verse, page number four, right in the top, the third line on page
number four, and we have made for him a light by which you walk
amongst the people, we spoke about this relationship.
Right? The light of revelation is the external light through which
the icon the viscera sees, Allah says which is another who know
that yum Shibi heap in us we have given you a light by which you
walk amongst the people.
You see the connection.
If I want to walk amongst you, and not upset someone, not step on
someone's toes, not bump into someone.
I need light I need my eyes to be open. And I need light. If we were
to turn off all the lights,
close my eyes, and I try to walk out of here without touching or
stepping on anyone be very difficult. Allah subhanaw taala in
his verse says What? What Yeah, I now love neutron. Which one is it?
What's what is the north which are now neuro
the light of revelation and the Aqua. Yom Shibi hiddenness through
that through that light is how you walk amongst the people now I'll
ask you a question out of moral intelligence and emotional
intelligence, which one of them directly relates to how you walk
amongst the people?
Raise your hand someone when you say moral why moral
you have to follow some guidelines, right? Like if I step
on your foot and you say that hurt me and I'm like, No, that's
nothing wrong with that totally fine.
You got I'm saying right. Okay, cool. Who says emotional? Which I
now do not Yes. Why so?
Live with them amicably. Exactly. Hence both of them hence both of
them. Both of those types of intelligence are what is needed
for me to walk amongst the people in a way that I don't upset
people. I don't hurt people and I don't
I walk amongst them in a beautiful way. Any questions or comments up
to this point? Now one of we have to move a little quicker just
because
because of timing.
Okay. There is one Hadith which is perhaps it's a well known Hadith,
but it is perhaps the best place to begin when we talk about the
the high level of the prophesized emotional intelligence.
And it's the hadith of Ahmed bin OS, Radi Allahu to Allah and
I'm are being asked right there.
Love Thailand was once sent on a mission of reconnaissance by the
prophets of Allah who it was Sunnah the prophesy Selim asked
him to go on a mission. This is a well known Hadith as I start to
say you're all going to remember the Hadith. I might have been
asked goes on the mission, and he comes back to the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi. Wa he was so happy he was on them.
And the prophesy centum is sitting down in the masjid, presumably,
and I've been asked comes up to him, and he says, I'm back. I did
what you asked me to do. So now that he's done the prophesy centum
chose him to go do something. He finished what the prophesy sent
him I told him to do and he came back to him. And he came to tell
the prophesies and I'm done. And he gave him all the news that he
had to give him
after he told him you know, I did the job of prophesy Saddam
Shabazz, my show loved them test, whatever, good job go ahead.
Alright, great, mashallah, you did what you were supposed to do.
Before he left. He says y'all rasool Allah. I gotta ask you one
question though.
Okay, go ahead.
As I mentioned the question I need you to think what must have been
going through his head in order to ask this question.
He asked the prophesy Sanlam ya rasool Allah, men have been nasty
Lekha ya rasool Allah, Ya rasool Allah, before I go back home, just
me and you sitting right here. I want to ask you a question.
Who do you love the most?
Now, what was he thinking?
What do you think is going through his head at this time?
Yes, I'm I've been asked, by the way the prophesy Salam interacted
with him. By the way, the prophets of Allah who it was salam gave him
attention. By the way, the prophesizing them focus on him, I
might have been asked for the Allahu taala. And he felt that and
not only that, there's something else present to
can you imagine you imagine go up to Shadi right now you're like
you're shining, your dark.
You know, who you love the most? Yo.
Come on.
What else has to be there for you to even ask the question?
There's something that has to be there. Yes, you have to be you
have to be extremely comfortable with Doc to go up to document like
you're
telling me.
You're I'm saying right. So so he asked her suicide, Santa Manohar.
Benassi. Like yada Sula. You know, because if you get this, if the
prophesized to them, says unto you know millions of Muslims from now
until eternity will be reading this hadith that I'm the most
beloved the prophesy Selim I'm the most beloved of the Beloved of
Allah that makes me the Beloved of Allah done
I'm good
so let me ask this question
What is it oh suicides some say?
Yeah, Prophesy some ghosts. I should
okay, I
wasn't quite ready for that. No.
prophesize then the other been asked the Hadith says to my man
yeah rasool Allah He goes MENA reach out on me he goes me never
reach out. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Okay. From the men at least
I can be the most beloved man
MENA region
god
of Wuhan.
Her dad?
Okay.
Yeah, you know, he was in the cave.
He is in the Quran at different places. Okay.
Houma men
who after that, y'all come on.
Oh, my
Duma man. The hadith says, I'm gonna be narcissists for adult EJ.
He says he mentioned a lot of people. But Tara to the masala.
He's like, I stopped asking Macapa 10 Because I was scared to find
out my reorder level.
I was scared. I was gonna find out what I really was on that list. So
I just stopped asking. I stopped asking any questions. I'm done.
Tell me this.
I gotta pick on some
maroon shirt.
Oh, yeah, I'm married. Don't worry. I can't use you. Were you
Are you married? But you have no kids? Yeah, right. Okay, can you I
need someone with a bigger family.
How many kids one how old?
I need someone with like five people in the family. And the
lowest age is like seven right now.
Three kids two, no one got three kids here.
There you go. That's my man. So man, what's your name brother.
Oh, okay, what was it? She does that she does that
can you do this? Can you make each person in that family the whole
house whole house? Make each one of them think that they you love
them more than everyone else in the house?
Oh, we're word
I need I need proof bro. So each person in the family right now
feels that you love them the most.
But no, no, no, no, no hold on nobody
do that.
So then you didn't do it.
The miracle of the prophesies to them shows that is his wife here,
by the way. Is this children here to
owe me one okay.
Only one child is here. She said.
The point I'm trying to make your brothers and sisters before we go
on is in order for the prophesy. Selim Shahzad has a hard job. He
has to make every person in that house every single individual feel
that Baba loves me more than everyone else in this house. If
you're honest with yourself, that's extremely difficult to do.
And that's only five people man.
That's the prophesy some of the sign of the engine. This level of
his emotional intelligence is that a whole city felt that he loved
them more than anyone else. That's what I need you to contemplate on
for a moment is how the prophesy send them reach that high level
where the entire city felt so close that anyone is going to come
up and be like yeah, don't do it alone. Who do you love the most?
And he felt that he was that person to the prophesies and I'm
loved the most. Now let's define emotional intelligence. Let's
define this is very important
I love that man. You know, you guys are blessed. Yeah, you guys
are blessed. Yeah, seriously said Hamdulillah. Masha Allah. Some
have described EQ, emotional intelligence, EQ, emotional
intelligence. Okay. Some have described eq as four abilities.
The ability to identify emotions number one.
Oh, no, this is up there. You got to write this down.
By actually, actually,
no, it's not here. This definition is not on the page. gotta buy the
book.
Number one, identify emotion.
Number two, the ability to use emotion to generate thoughts
and action and other people. You can just take a picture. Yeah,
exactly. Smart
ability to understand the emotional information. So what
this means is not just the ability to identify, something's wrong
with my daughter, but to understand what's wrong with her.
There's a big difference between the two.
Your husband may notice you're upset and have no clue why you're
upset. At all.
Right? She doesn't. Yeah, don't worry. You're gonna love this
color Cobra.
Well, you might not love it, but humbly lead. Next one the ability
to regulate
and manage emotions. So Shahzad after this class, you should gain
some ability to kind of
regulate emotions. I know right? Like
trust me. That's the Sunnah of the prophets I send them that's what I
want you to see. That's the Sunnah of the prophesy send them the
connection to people on this high level where he was able to
recognize emotions, understand emotions, use people's that
information to generate thoughts and to manage the emotional states
of other people. So as everyone got these so I can go forward
okay, in that case, I'll leave this up. Everyone looked on your
paper on page number four,
section three,
section three, page number four.
emotional awareness, inter and intrapersonal.
Two types of emotional awareness. First of all, what is the
emotional awareness? It is not emotional understanding. emotional
awareness is just going to be your ability and we'll see it
throughout the life of the prophets. I send them your ability
to tell when the teacher is upset. All right, your ability to tell
when Mom is upset your ability to be aware of emotional changes.
Look at this. Howard Gardner says the lowest
basic level in its most elementary form, the interpersonal
intelligence entails the capacity of the young child to discriminate
among the individuals around him and detect various moods. my four
year old can clearly tell good mood versus bad news. My two year
old can't tell the difference. I gotta say, I'm serious right now
stop not playing.
And they still think I'm playing.
They can't tell you. When they get a little older. They won't even
ask you for the keys to the car when you upset
because they understand, they read the emotions. He said now the
deepest level and this is where we see the prophesy centum at the
deepest level is what can you read that for me? Same one.
bottom of page four please.
motivations
as well, everyone look at that line please. The capacity to
notice
moves, temperaments, motivations,
and intentions in yourself. Number one.
emotional awareness and understanding interpersonal
intrapersonal in yourself first, Imam Ghazali says what one of the
keys of understanding is Madiba to knifes to know thyself to know
you. The key to emotional intelligence is first your own
understanding of your own emotional state. That's the first
thing you can tell I'm getting upset right now. You know, I'm
getting agitated right now. Like I know Dr. Shadi is getting upset
because I'm going to end right now and take a break so I'm reading
that right I'm emotionally like linked with my man right
let's go forward a little bit more
just just just little bit little bit Luke.
perfecting the Auckland means a person must develop an acute intra
intra you you know yourself.
Shahzad one of the biggest reasons why we can't understand other
people's emotions is we haven't spent enough time understanding
ourself yet
you understand I'm saying I'm not picking on you. I'm just I know
your name. Okay. You I'm seeing one so one of the primary things
that has to happen first one of the primary things that has to
happen first is a person has to spend time developing an
interpersonal understanding of emotions
intrapersonal understanding of emotions and then interpersonal
emotional awareness as well
this was the example we already gave on I'm going to stop now
because what we're going to do after a three minute break
shake they came through storms they they came through everything
to be here
I gotta get through all of this
so how long do we have to break for
events huh?
Can we do 10 minutes
a hard 10 minute break
huh
a working lunch working lunch working lunch you got everyone
know what a working lunches
you grab your food
get your food come back.
We'll take a five minute 10 minute break at 10 minutes we're starting
you could do a working lunch Santa Monica
Masha Allah insha Allah
is doing me come down let me come down when it comes out are you
doing it good to see you come to love but the whole girl under the
love Masha Allah
I would
love to see you guys know I love
all you guys
so well
we'll get to that
good
weekend
lot of
good
The
normal normal schedule
is a word from you yeah the charger that you gave me wasn't
working so I switched on that I had really yeah so this one is
working okay at least for my phone and the other one as well but now
it's fine
so which one works the one that you have
yeah it's 26% I'm gonna charge this
Good
evening
right
okay let's get on that app here
go out
right
right
Right
it
right
incidence of it's a fallacy
graduate students
you
Good
day
morning
day
you
Right
What's up
right
yo what's going on bro alright
okay Go Go for it where are you Where are we putting it off what
is where is it sharing sharing on my behalf so the photo okay yes I
found that my dad y'all are you doing great job okay this is great
you can go over if you need it and that's going over about
23 hours on you this what happens when you just put your head down
and you push something right
with like reckless abandon and get results and we did for too long
so up till now to be honest with you I have just been kind of
building this was the first one was was gone so this one is live
so hit share and share and then sipping coffee many of you like
that put it wherever you want to
share it oh you can just share it I can see
it
agree
yeah, totally. I mean some some of the things we've had
I think it's all about advertising. And I had a busy body
there was something called busybodies. Love to talk love to
text you get one of them on things up word
here yes do
you like a camera shy so
I just want you remember that isn't enough
yeah we'll do a working lunch man you know a working lunch that'd be
the best
sushi come
take two minutes and then like Sheikh said to work in lunch
working on so just bring back your
your food and we'll start
the way
all the brothers are going for lunch right
after they get their lunch. I was glad
I noticed okay. So we know
how to talk to we're
going to do is just put our nose down
a few people shut up. I think when the book comes out, you should
follow it up. So you come again. Somehow. I know it'll be kind of
redundant some aspects. No, no, not everything. No, no part two.
So I am just now starting the emotional intelligence part.
Everything up to that I had to build into what is happening.
Yeah, I'm saying so great. As long as we got time Yeah, we just got
to catch a flight that's all we're that's all where it gets. Oh,
yeah. What time is your flight? I think you want to take us back to
how far West Philly he's gonna take about how far away it was
really depends on his driving. minutes to get a plane we're six.
Yeah.
Seven,
seven o'clock for that. Oh,
don't be tight. You should you should depart at like 520 maximum.
Because we should pray us on the side right after you're done.
And it will take seven o'clock play its domestic you're saying
you need to finish this in two hours. If I got to our 520 You
said we start in the next 10 minutes. I think after leaving
here at 520 for a seminar.
It's gonna get tight. Minimum one hour for domestic so let me throw
a minimum one hour but for domestic Do you have a project I
haven't seen it didn't go through that though. It didn't go through
I gave you that. It's not your fault. Would I have just given you
your skip and even if you wanted to do it, you'll do it at the
desk. That's what I tell them you got you're gonna I'm just gonna do
it online right now. I tried it it's hard to do it after you
reserve Yeah, it's tougher after even if
you put it in. I know on the itinerary and I saw you put it in
sometimes when you go to a third party like Orbitz, and it doesn't
Yeah, straight through but if you call the airline I've done this
before they put you on wait forever what's the salary so
hopefully they're not too busy but I have seven at
seven o'clock mountain and I was sitting
next to my 520 my company close into our five let's look at five
I think you're right yeah, I think you should be doing here to be
around for us.
Really 510 Maximum like that's cutting a very cool looking
healthy who's driving okay, you're gonna drive like you're back to
what we're in
right now. Let's do that. Right now. Their new car pretty much
will give you peace keys. They do try now think about this. This was
a critical thing and
I'm sorry
one thing
I will write short
stories
because
I want to hear more about
it
American
Standard.
The point
you got to pay your bills. You're connected. It's all
there
was
a bit
yeah yeah it's my start with
that so probably
deserves a living which is like a big but it isn't always
a good
thing it's right up here
then
and then
yeah that's fine
turn on the camera
How you been you're good though
your house that you're doing
sound like
this
yo give me
a message when social media Oh man
that's the thing like
yo yo your calls and lion which one is
up curated content is curious yeah curious to see no no no get to
sleep at
9049
as you gotta have a textbook so I have
a coffee my stop that wants to listen to my favorite one I think
we can start now good to start
yo I texted it's
looking good
to live man are him
hamdulillah hamdulillah rabbil aalameen or salat wa salam ala
Sayidina
whenever the NL monana Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam
Smilla rahmanir rahim.
Great Call on the Working Lunch idea. That's awesome. Thank you,
Sister.
Claire, let's continue Inshallah, where we left off
the last thing we were discussing, we look over some of the four
hierarchical Haryanto abilities of EQ, which is the identifying of
emotions, using emotions, to generate thoughts in other people
understanding emotions, and then regulating emotions. All of these
four things brothers and sisters have to be looked at from the
perspective of intra and interpersonal. So what we mean by
that intrapersonal all four of these capacities when we study the
life of the prophet size the lamp, we learned that he was working to
create that within yourself. Number one, all of these we have
more handouts for those who need them. He was working to create
this ability first and himself. And then also using this having
the ability to identify or have these capacities when working with
other people as well. So we talked about emotional awareness and
understanding both as intra and interpersonal. Now let's move
forward.
perfecting the AKA, perfecting one's aka
means a person must develop an acute intrapersonal and
interpersonal emotional awareness. And we spoke about how children
don't get that for a while it takes time for them to actually
build that. I wanted to narrate to you a few stories now from the
life of the prophets of Allah Allah it was something because our
actual goal here is to study the real suicide cell and and see
emotional intelligence within his life.
On page
five of your notes we have a section that says prophetic
Examples page five
the Prophet of Allah Subhana Allah to allah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam
the prophet of allah sallallahu alayhi wa salam. He once said to
his beloved wife, Aisha Radi Allahu anha.
Oh Aisha, I can discern when you are pleased with me. And when you
are annoyed with me,
he tells her that Yep, oh, Ayesha, I am so connected to your
emotions. I am so connected to you as my wife, that I can tell when
you're happy with me. And when you're upset with me, this is very
profound, because it shows that not only is he aware of her
emotional changes, but he's also communicating to her his awareness
of those emotional changes inside of her. So he's going out of his
way to tell his wife Aisha that hey, I know when you're happy, and
I know when you're upset with me. So I she plays along as well. She
goes, how do you discern it? How can you tell? How can you tell
when I'm happy? How can you tell when I'm upset with you? They're
upon he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reply.
When you are happy with me and take an oath, you take an oath and
you say, I swear by the Lord of Mohammed, Lau what are the
Mohammed? And when you are upset with me, you say Allah, what are
the Brahim say? I swear by the Lord of people around him.
And I set out the Allahu unhashed. She laughs She smiled. She said,
Yes, you're right goddess and Allah. But by Allah, I leave
nothing but your name.
She says that I'm not adding extra words when I'm getting. I get
angry, not calm. Yeah, all these extra adjectives and
see thoughts that we add on to someone when we're upset. She
said, No, all I do is leave out. All I do.
All I do is
I only leave out your name.
What we learned from this hadith is the prophesy Salam is
displaying to the husbands of his Alma
brothers listen close, he's displaying to the husbands of the
OMA, that it is one of his habits to be extremely in,
connected to the emotional changes in the nuances of the emotional
changes of your spouse.
This is a very, very important aspect. And when we study the
prophesy center, we normally don't bring out this aspect. This is a
clear representation of the emotional intelligence of the
prophesy centum because he's telling her normally what happens,
we want to hear explicitly, just tell me when you're angry.
Just tell me when you're happy. And the other side is saying no,
you should be able to read happiness from me, you should be
able to understand we should be so connected, that you can read those
emotions from me. But the prophesised Dunham is teaching the
the males of his own man, if anyone else needs a handout, we
have more the prophesy son of his teaching the brothers and husbands
of his own Ma. That no it is rewarding and it is a part of the
Sunnah of the Prophet sighs and then for you, yourself to be aware
of the emotional changes in your spouse.
Another example, so what do we see here? Look at the PowerPoint, we
see awareness. How do we see awareness? Brothers, one brother,
where's the awareness? I'm gonna pick on someone else. Where's the
awareness? It's not it's not hard.
It shouldn't be hard.
Yes.
And the understanding, same thing, awareness and understanding are
close. One is you can tell someone's upset another as you're
able to interpret that. You understand? Okay, cool. Let's go
to the next one. This next one is another beautiful example. It's
not on your paper. You can write this one down, don't
put it on the margin there. Right next to this example.
By the way, majority of the examples I have are going to be
marital examples. And I think it's because the Prophet salallahu
Salam is teaching us that one of the most important places for you
to display emotional intelligence is within your house. That is
probably the most important place with your children, with your
mother with your spouse with your brothers and sisters.
That is the place where a lack of emotional intelligence. Let me
share something with you guys. A good friend of mine,
adopted a Moroccan child an orphan,
a good friend of mine adopted a Moroccan child.
And they put him through all types of difficulties. But finally at
Hamdulillah, he was able to bring this child into their house. So I
was talking to him about a month or two after. And I was saying,
yo, how's it going at home?
And he said to me, he said, you know, what's interesting is that
this child doesn't cry, like normal children. I said, What do
you mean? He says, Whenever normal children are too hot, or too cold,
or hungry or thirsty, or need a diaper change, they cry.
They know that I cry, the world around me will respond to that
cry. The world around me is empathetic to my tears, and they
will jump to figure out what it is that is wrong with me.
To the point where a mother can tell by the cry, which thing needs
to happen right now.
For most people, it's just a crop. But for someone connected
emotionally with that human being, we can even discern from the type
of cry Oh, they're just tired right now. I'm like, I don't know
what's going on.
I just know you crying, something's wrong.
So he says to me, this boy doesn't cry.
And I said, why? He says, you know why? In the orphanage, this child
learned that crying does not create a response from people.
So the child stopped crying because it doesn't do anything. It
doesn't solve problems. What happens in many of our families,
people have stopped crying.
Because we are death to the emotions that are being asked to
be nurtured.
They don't understand the correlation here. Now I see that
nods there. I need to see the knots here.
You understand? So when the prophesy sternum is telling I Isha
that I know when you're happy, and I know when you're upset, that is
extremely profound, because he's placing a challenge before
husbands to know your wife on that deeper level.
And he says, I'm the best in my family. No one can be better than
me. Try try to be better than me to your family. Even gives us a
challenge. Let's look at the next example. I want you to write this
example down.
So just to end that story, if you don't respond to people's
emotional cleaves, they will stop even just sharing their emotions.
They will stop crying out for you to do anything. And that's the
worst thing. That is the worst thing. When your child says I
don't even talk to you dad anymore. Why? Because you weren't
paying attention for how many years? Why am I going to I've
learned now the crying doesn't do anything. And crying specifically
doesn't mean tears necessarily, but different please different
expressions of emotionality.
Okay, the story of ice drinking right this story down, I should
know the Allahu Taala on her. She says it's the Hadith isn't the se
ha. She says that once I was sitting and I was eating with the
prophets of Allah while they were sending let's just meet in the
prophesies. And then we were eating. And at the time I was on
my menses I was on my menses at the time that this story is
happening.
And she says that I grabbed the cup to drink from the cup of
water. We had one cup that we were sharing. So I drink from the cup.
Okay, and she put the cup down.
And she says when the prophesy Selim got thirsty, he picked up
the cup and he turned the cup right to where I had placed my
lips and he drink from the same exact spot
what's going on there
somebody come on, Shahzad ran away y'all.
shots out by the food man. I feel you bro.
I got
brothers. What's happening there?
Where's emotional intelligence in this example
by the way, no, you're young man.
Okay, go ahead.
If you drink from this, I
think
she might have died.
Yes, beautiful. Masha Allah.
She realized he realizes that she's in a state where she may
feel unclean.
Right and even more emotional feeling
At that time, so now and by the way, there was no lipstick left on
the cup. You know, I taught this hadith and one brother was like,
well, maybe there was lipstick. So it was easy to see
this, think about it, he had to have an you know what's even more
profound. He didn't say like, he didn't go watch what I'm about to
do.
He just did it.
And she noticed it.
And can you imagine how she felt?
I just brothers focus. What do you think went through her heart at
that time.
And imagine, if you did something similar for your mother, something
so small that you you don't even make it a big deal to show when we
do it. We're like, Yeah, I just did something, hey, watch this. He
just did it. But she felt the feeling of that. And it made her
heart so happy.
So realize that, just that incident there shows he's aware of
her emotional state, and he's aware that I will be rewarded by
God by Allah, if I am making her feel better, making her feel in a
better state that's rewarding by Allah Subhan Allah to Allah, that
may be better than to Dakar right now. For sure.
Because it's bringing joy to the heart of a movement. And on top of
that, the most important moment in your life, your spouse.
Any questions or comments on this example? It's a profound example.
It's such a small thing, but extremely profound
claims on this performance.
So in this, we see emotional understanding, we see
mindfulness,
we see mindfulness he's aware of where she put her lips on the cup.
He could only do it if he was paying attention to where she
drank from. He had to watch that.
He had to watch that. So he watched where she did it. And then
he turned the cup right there. And he's also extremely romantic to
right.
And romantic at a time when there's not like something coming
back.
Husbands, you know what I'm saying?
These guys,
these guys, y'all.
Okay, look at the next example, one set of a sudden.
Same page, family use utility of interpersonal intelligence.
There's a major family utility to emotional intelligence. We're on
page number five. Number one, where it says family utility of
intern interpersonal, emotional intelligence, the wife of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam from sadhana Radi Allahu
Taala and ha she gives us an example of the emotional awareness
of her beloved husband, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
aalihi wa sahbihi wa sunnah. She says that while I was laying down
with the prophesy, so under a single woolen sheet,
I suddenly got my menses. So I slid out of the covers away as
discreetly as possible she's intentionally trying to hide what
just happened
as discreetly as possible, and I went to go and change into the
clothes that I would normally wear during that time of the month.
When the prophesy said them since all this movement happening, the
prophesy send them says,
and the Fisty did your menses begin? Did you start menstruating?
She replied, Yes, I did. He said, Okay, after you have changed,
please come back and lay close to me again.
That's all he says. Please come back and lay close to me again.
Again, realizing that at that state where she may be feeling
most not wanting to be close, but needing to be close, he recognizes
that and says when you when you're when you're ready, please come
back and lay as close to me as you can as you just work.
Do you understand how he's recognizing the emotional changes
and how he's responding to her and speaking to her about those any
questions or comments here?
By the way, number two is the example of drinking from the place
where I showed the Allah who I drink from.
So yeah, okay.
We have examples now of the emotional intelligence of the
prophesy send them being on a far broader scope than just with the
children around him, his wives and so on and so forth. Yeah, Allah
mudra Radi Allahu anha relates an example that happened that he
witnessed at the hands of those who saw some Allah our name was
Sana.
He says that one day he was traveling with the prophets of
Allah who is at the center.
Please remember what we're studying.
Here, we're studying the prophet of God. So the love it was
sometimes ability to connect to people in creation by
understanding their emotions and connect with them.
And there's a big problem and we're going to talk about that in
a moment. He says that one day he was traveling with the prophets of
Allah while they was setting them when they pass by a camel, which
was being used to water crops.
When the camera when the camels saw the prophets of Allah, it was
sudden, it began to make this deep grunting sound over and over
again,
as if it was calling the prophets of Allah Allah you.
As the prophesy center of attention turns wit towards and
approach the camel, the camel Lord its head to the ground. Before the
prophets bison
stay standing above the prop of the camel the prophesies when I'm
touching it gently, now patting the camel consoling the camel, the
prophesies of them is patting it and he says, Where's the owner of
this camel? Where's the owner of this camel?
The owner can't sell it to me sell me this Campbell the prophesy
southern says Now when the Prophet of Allah don't read ahead, please.
When the Prophet of Allah I send them asked me to sell something
what happens?
No, it's free.
It's free. It's normally free. Right? So he goes no, it's free
Yasuda law,
but it's the only one I got
it's the only one I got and I need to water these camera these
things? No, it's a gift for you older so what Allah replied the
owner
ended the Hadith continues realizing the magnitude of the
gift he was offering he immediately followed up saying it
is our only camo and a means of our livelihood is the only car I
got. But it's for you.
The prophets I send them didn't want the camera. He wanted him to
teach him a lesson. You wanted to teach something to that man? Radi
Allahu, and that's a hobby of rasuu size. He said to him? Well,
if this is the case, and you have no other camel, they know that
this camel has just told me that you work it too hard, and you feed
it too little, so be good to it. Another narration states that when
the camel saw the prophesy center, it not only began to grunt and
groan, but also a cry in front of the prophets I send them and as
the prophesy centum approached, he placed his hands on the camel, and
it immediately became calm.
What are some takeaways from this?
As we develop interpersonal emotional awareness what is
interpersonal, inter with other people, awareness of other
people's emotions.
People who are in pain, like this camel will call out to you more.
I'm gonna say this again. Once you build more understanding of this,
and more awareness of people's emotions, like this camel, so
here's the question. Why was the camel calling out to the prophesy
center?
Because it saw someone who understands pain. It saw someone
who understands the emotions of pain. So it called out Help me
Help me Help me
to someone who recognizes that
other people pass by the point number two other people pass by
his camel, but it either did not call out for help to them, or it
did not understand the cause for help. So when people are
struggling emotionally, sometimes they don't even call up.
You meet a sister in the masjid and she's not gonna say anything.
You meet a brother in the masjid having a tough time with his
family and things are rough. He's struggling emotionally. Sometimes
they won't even say anything.
But when people perceive that you have a heart
that is aware they will call out to you the same way this camel
called down everyone understand
look at point number three
in another narration can you look at this? Look at this here.
Literal suicide Selim and another narration he says fear Allah
regarding these animals that cannot speak at the same incident
where the camel spoke to him. The prophesy seldom said these words.
What does that tell you?
And I want feedback brothers or sisters someone give me what is
that? What does that tell you about the onus of responsibility?
For what
Okay, so we are responsible before Allah Subhana Allah to Allah for
those who depend on us emotionally. Okay, cool. I agree.
And that's definitely in the Hadith, but there's more there.
Yes, sister. I'm gonna come over here
Yes, yes. Are you the, the one that does the funny jokes.
My wife told me if I ever meet this sister to give her son um, so
my wife says said I want to come to you.
Alright, cool. I was bothered me the whole time. I was like,
okay, um,
did you hear what she said? Everyone? Let me repeat it. She
said we are responsible as human beings and followers of Muhammad
sai send them
to recognize the emotional changes in the suffering and pain of
people who can't even articulate their pain. You are not only
responsible for those people that say, Hey, I'm having a bad day
today. Hey, I'm having trouble at home. You're also responsible for
those people who can't articulate the pain that they're having.
For many brothers, this is like man I am God I gotta work math.
Job I gotta worry about people's emotions now. Yes.
Yes, you follow the prophesy sudden them and he was had more
responsibility than you. But he was connected to the emotions of
people.
And it's a part of who we are as follows of the Prophet salallahu
audio so he was saying no
questions or comments on this point here? Yes.
Yeah, so the autistic children and youth and autism in general, we're
going to talk about that in more detail towards the end of today's
Halaqa. But many times, they will all the time, most of times, if
they're high on the spectrum, then they really can't inform you about
what they're feeling. And imagine being someone who has feelings but
just I can't get it out how much pain and suffering they must go
through inside of themselves because they can't get out this
pain that they're feeling. Okay, so, inshallah I know this is for a
lot of people. It's challenging.
It's challenging.
I'm gonna come back
I kind of want to skip to something, please bear with me.
I'm going to skip to something.
The problem I'm gonna skip to this right now on purpose a brother.
Right, right. There she is. She's been waiting for a very long time.
Okay, the problem here is this. The prophesy Salam, like our time
today live in a culture where there was a deep misunderstanding
about emotions.
The way men were priests perceive emotions was very, very different
than what the prophesy Salam himself was displaying to his
people.
The prophesy Selim challenge the ideal of fatherhood, fatherhood,
pre Prophet, Muhammad sai Salam, what he brought in and the way he
demonstrated fatherhood, and the emotional connection to children
was unprecedented in their in their society.
Give an example. What a they've been, who say it, who say it
relate that the prophets I said it was giving a sermon a Friday
Sermon, when suddenly Hasson and Hussein appeared, the prophesy
centum was on the member. And all of a sudden his grandchildren
little grandchildren, they start running up to the member and they
were tripping on they had like a long commis on and they were
tripping and stumbling over their kidneys, in front of all of the
brothers in the masjid. The prophesies sort of comes down the
member and he goes in, he grabs them up, and he starts hugging and
kissing them. And then he goes to everyone, I couldn't help myself.
I saw them in couldn't hold. I couldn't hold it back. I had to go
and grab them.
Another example. I'm gonna hold at a narrative that the prophets I
send them once came out of his house carrying Hassan and Hussein,
one on each shoulder and he was kissing each one of them, kissing
them. When he reached the people a man came and said he remarked O
Messenger of Allah you love them. Like Like this guy thought it was
strange. You love them.
The Prophets I send them says, Whoever loves them, he loves me
and whoever hates them hates me. Another man he came he asked the
prophesy Son, do you kiss children because we don't kiss children.
The prophets lie Selim, he said, Is it my fault that Allah has
snatched mercy away from your heart?
And man came to Medina and said, where's that guy that kiss his
children?
That's how like infamous he was known for something that was so
strange in their culture.
Unfortunately,
the Jackie Leah has come back today.
Hugging playing kissing with the children. Your mom, Dr. Shadi did
a sleepover in his girl's bedroom last night. They wanted to have us
Can I share that? I'm sorry.
Thought it was beautiful.
I thought it was beautiful bro.
Literally, that you know the girls, they want to have a
sleepover. So he sleeps the whole night and has a sleepover with
them in their room.
That's beautiful. That's prophetic. That's love. That's the
emotion that's being connected.
Something so small, but it's beautiful. It's profound.
And so the prophesy centum was recalibrating the societal
understanding of what it meant to be a husband. Not only a husband,
we saw that but a father to that shows emotion. And unfortunately,
many of us have been those fathers or we are children of the fathers
that are like the guy that said you kiss children because we don't
kiss them
so you have to stop that you have to realize that this is the way
the prophesy Salam did it. And this is what should be the way you
interact with your children. And it's Oh, that's beautiful.
questions comments on this point
I'm gonna go back now, the reason I wanted to bring this one up is
because it's impossible for us to continue to talk about emotion
emotions, until we realize that there was a problem. And yes,
Shahzad mashallah
were you
able to sleep overnight the kids we got to happen
people are
no sleep over with his own kids in their room.
Okay.
I hope everyone understood that
your Imam didn't have a sleepover with a bunch of kids
I mean, let me let me do it again. His own daughter's
his own daughters in their room wanted to have a pretend sleepover
with their dad
this beautiful
I know shots I was like what the heck
did everyone else understand it correctly? Okay.
I love you Mashallah. Yes sister
think the prophesy said it was challenging a misunderstanding of
masculinity? Yes, he was challenging a misunderstood but he
did set he did set it up though he did set what it meant to be a man
but he redefined what it meant to be a man as well. And part of that
redefinition was showing love kissing children carrying his
children saying I love them and so on and so forth
I think so, I just I just there's a lot that comes with that. Those
words there's a lot of baggage that comes with that as well. So I
wouldn't want to just put the whole suite the whole thing under
under one broad thing.
Yes, yes. Yes, sister.
Oh, okay, I got you. Can you look at
can you look at your notes on page seven
Okay, what just happened? I just said turn the page.
Got it. Page seven.
Look at
just the top of page seven children learn emotional and
management and understanding by imitating their parents reactions
to emotional changes. Children at a young age naturally idolize
their parents assuming their parents can be their role models,
every outbursts of anger, every flustered, and every scream is
registered as a potential method for dealing with emotions. The
prophesy seldom said, I am like a father to you, I teach you what
you are ignorant from what you are ignorant of. Look at what I put in
bold there. This is for your answer what's in bold. Some
studies suggest that the foundations of emotional
intelligence are laid down in the first four years of a child's
life. First and foremost, a father and a mother will build the
emotional intelligence of their child by every interaction that
they have with the child, your frustration, your yelling in
traffic, your inability to control yourself and outrages of anger.
Teach the children from the ages of one to four, how to demonstrate
emotions, how to express emotions, and build their emotional
understanding. So up until the age of four seems to be the most
influential time to teach children how to deal with and handle
emotions. And studies also show that the primary person, there are
many institutions that deal with our children, but the primary
place where children learn emotional intelligence from the
parents, you will either handicap them or you will bless them with a
high level of understanding how to unrecognized emotions. And you see
this. Sometimes if you have two siblings, one a little older, the
older one will sometimes try to discipline the younger one. Right?
Like she took something and now my older Madea wants to hit Kadima.
And we say, Mario, what are you doing? And she says, well, she's
not listening to me.
And we go, Well, you can't hit her.
And what is she doing? She's just imitating how we our reactions,
our emotional responses to when she didn't listen.
Understand what I'm saying. Let's give an example. Now. Can I give
an example.
Look at emotional management. Right above what you just looked
at Page Six, bottom line, page six, bottom bottom paragraph.
The prophets of Allah Allah was seldom had this is a Hadith of
*. And it was a young boy who grew up with the Prophet size, and
I'm from a very young age, treat it just like a son of the Prophet
size. He says the prophets I seldom had the best of character,
one day he sent me to do something for him, the prophesy son sent me
to go run an errand. So I told him that I will not go playing with
the kids outside. But in my heart, I knew that I wanted to play with
the other kids. He's a little kid.
Read the alota. And so I left the house to do with the prophesies
that I'm asked me, but when I passed by the other kids playing,
I stopped and stood there with them as well. The next thing I
noticed is somebody's hand on the back of my neck. Standing behind
me
asking me, Hey, on us. Did you go where I asked you to go to
an on a set? Yep, I'm rocking there right now.
He's like, Yep, I'm walking right now. I'm on my way. I'm going.
He and another Hadith says, I live with the prophesy centum for 10
years. He never said the word. Lima Sonata hada Why did you do
this? Or why did you do this?
Now that's profound.
But don't you understand how you must have learned emotional
intelligence from living in that household?
You understand what I'm saying? Here how the prophesy some as a
father to honest, he never once were like, Why didn't you do that?
Why do you do that? Never once.
Never once. That's very difficult, I understand.
But I want you to see at least how he's demonstrating his emotional
composure and management before honest about the Allahu Taala and
I want to move back here if you guys don't mind.
Let's let's back up a bit.
In order for us to be emotionally aware,
emotionally aware, these notes I think you should place them in
section three, which is on page four. Please please go back to
emotional awareness section three.
Okay,
well mark out of Santa Mira suelen elaborately Sani called me, Allah
subhanho wa Taala says, We never sent a prophet except that they
spoke the language of a people.
What the apparent meaning of this is that whatever language people
spoke prophets spoke that exact same language. But there's a
deeper meaning here, I want you to put this verse Now, this is an
important verse
arc our emotions are communicated
cross culturally differently.
cross culturally, Pakistani Indian out of American white American
black American, Texan American, New Jersey American
our emotions frustration, you people horn as someone in Texas,
it's gonna be beef. Up bullhorn here, it's like you're talking
is how y'all talk to each other BB.
There, you touched the horn. What's up, like showing you like?
Somebody got the joke. Everybody's holding down there. Right. So the
point being is, language is very important when we talk about
emotional communication.
If you marry someone from a completely different culture,
there's a learning curve that has to take place, not only for you to
communicate in just language, but also for you to understand the
language of emotion.
So what the what Allah tells us in the Quran, is that every prophet
that was sent, spoke the language, emotional language, two of the
people that he was sent to.
It's very important for us to and what I like to talk about is
laughter. So Alhamdulillah, I understand multiple languages,
okay. One of which is Urdu. But till today, I don't understand
jokes in Urdu.
And if you learned English, you probably laugh at jokes at work
that you understand to
just be laughing, everybody's laughing. Okay, the punchline was
given, everyone's laughing. I understood every word, but it's
not funny to me.
Someone nodded, they know exactly what I'm talking about. Because
the language doesn't communicate humor.
There's more to it, you have to understand the culture, you have
to understand body language, you have to understand far more than
just a lexical translation of another language. So laughter to
me,
is a sign. The ability to make someone laugh, to me is a sign
that you truly understand a language enough to communicate
with that person.
Do you understand why I'm saying that? Because otherwise, you don't
know enough of the language to really emotionally pass something
or even read an emotion. You ever someone ever crack a joke? That
was not funny to you from another culture? And you're like, that is
funny to us. Like, you just offended me right there.
But that's not funny. Because in their culture, that's funny. But
for me, that's not we don't crack jokes like that. Right? So the
point being here is that all Prophets were given deep
understanding, hence why and sometimes there were so many
prophets at one time.
And sometimes there were many prophets at one time, giving Dawa
to their individual people, because Dawa has to happen through
someone who understands the language deeply. Does everyone
understand this point? What that brings us to next is I'm gonna
move forward actually.
So
let's listening closely. This is not in your notes. You're gonna
have to make notes for this.
Oh, actually, actually, actually, I'm sorry. The last page
page seven and eight.
On page seven, the bottom of it I have a verse of the Quran Allah
subhanho wa Taala says, na na MA Yes the G Boone levena. Yes na own
in nama. Yes, the G Valentina Yes, my own. Allah says, Indeed only
those who listen can respond.
You can only respond to emotional changes when you start to listen.
Listen to what what people say.
Are we talking about listening to what people say?
No, why? This is why
I
look at this chart. It's on your paper as well.
7% of emotion is communicated through verbal
38% of emotion is communicated through vocal tone. How are you
doing today, honey? I'm doing great.
I ain't doing great.
Splendid, splendid.
She's not doing splendid.
38%
like, you know, you know that you always do a little trick here. You
good?
You good? You good?
Come on. You're from New York and Josh. I understand that.
That was I said three different things right there.
You got
you got
you got
now, if you're not from here, you just heard you good three times.
I got another one for you. I sometimes mess this one up.
There's one more I can't I can't get them all. I'm gonna say
that a charge. Like you can say like 20 things with that cha cha
cha. Cha Cha.
If you understand that language, I said like three different things
right there.
Someone who learned that language just was like, hmm, yeah, I'm
good. Are you good? You wanna fight? Now? Let's go.
If they say I'm good, you like, Let's go like, well, I'm good.
So the point being is emotion is complex. It's not just words. It
deeper understanding. You have to learn how to listen to emotion.
You have to learn how to listen to emotion. And that's when we see
the prophesies that I'm doing now. Now, let's go back here. I want
you to look at this example.
Let's see if I gave this one to you guys.
Yes, yes. Okay. Page six. I'm so sorry. It's so Skippy. Page six
number two please.
Another incident is equally revealing,
as the one previously mentioned, the one with the camera.
In the early years of the city of Medina, the Prophet salallahu it
was setting him with deliver his Friday Sermons, leaning against a
particular date palm tree.
As they became more settled in the city, some of the companions
offered a suggestion that a member be built for the prophets of Allah
Allah was telling them to stand upon.
When addressing the people.
The prophets of Allah hottie was agreed, and the member was built.
The day finally came for the prophesy send them to now begin
using the member. So he ascended.
He then turned towards the people and began to speak.
After a short time, the people in the masjid began to hear the sound
of someone crying like a child crying.
The Crying grew louder and louder, and the people could not figure
out where the sound was coming from.
The prophets I send them then came down from the member and approach
the tree, which was now missing. The prophets closeness, attention
and companionship.
He grabbed the tree he hugged the tree, physical contact in the
story of the camel. What did the prophesy Saddam do Shahzad?
Remember when he got to the camera, what did he do?
Thank you.
He touched. He rubbed the camera.
He touched the camera.
In this example with the tree What did he do?
He hugged the tree, he touched the tree. We'll talk about that in a
moment.
Very important for emotionally intelligent people to understand
the power of touch.
The power of touch
and what soap I'll get there in a moment.
He went down he hugged the tree, held it close to his chest. And it
became it became calm. They say you know how a child who's cried a
lot
He starts doing that. They say we heard the tree doing that after he
started to hold it. But his physical contact had an effect on
the emotional state of the tree of the camel.
Physical contact is very, very important. Now the Pantanal let's
look back the prophesy Salam said to whom sedima When you get done
changing what huh? Come back and lay close to me. Physical contact
Subhan Allah.
So the prophesy son, he hugged the tree, it became like someone
crying the cry, okay, we read that he grabbed and hug the tree held
it close to his chest, trying to control its cry as a child does.
The narration continues explaining that the prophesy Solomon spoke to
the tree, asking if it would be if it would like to be moved close to
the member and remain near to him for the rest of his life. Or be
uprooted and varied and replanted, and it will be with him in Jannah.
The tree chose to be in Jannah with the Prophet sighs them. So
they uprooted the tree they buried the tree and this tree will be
with the prophesized Saddam in January.
But do you notice his emotional awareness?
And then this one the miracle?
What's the miracle here?
What's the mirror coin this incident?
So the brother said the tree crying and speaking you know what
I think?
When the camera one what was the miracle there
so so the ability of the prophets, I saw them to understand the
camel, the ability of the prophesy son to understand this tree that
was in pain. In this example, the Sahaba, who were present were
their awareness was lifted to the prophetic awareness level. They
heard what he would hear,
they experienced one moment where they felt what he was normally
feeling.
What I'm trying to say is the prophesy centum was given by
Allah, a very high level of emotional intelligence. And in
this incident, the miracle was that they were temporarily brought
up to his level of emotional intelligence, and then return to
their normal level. You're saying what I mean by that? What level
so here brothers and sisters, I always just point out this. Don't
say this. Don't say this. Why don't you just tell me how you
feel?
No, you have to learn how to understand emotions, the way the
Prophet sighs and then learn how to understand emotions. Why don't
you just tell me?
Read the person. Listen to emotions. I know shoves. I know. I
know, bro. Do you know when I get this Holika and go back home. My
wife is sitting there like
you read in this
okay, emotional management. So that's the picture down the street
from where I live. Now. I'm just joking.
Okay, people do actually walk around like that, though. They're
not in costume. They actually in Texas walk around with him like
that. But anyways.
So emotional management, one of the other roles. That is explained
by Imam Ghazali. What did we say the original meaning of Afghan was
the original way back three hours ago
to tie something up. One of the reasons the ACA is called ACA is
because of its role in controlling human character, human emotions
and human behavior. That's the way the ACA is supposed to work. So
Imam Ghazali Rahim Allah to Allah, He explains that the above is like
the the rider of the horse on the back of the horse, that the horse
is supposed to listen to the author. Now one of the things they
say about the army of Genghis Khan, was that they were such
skilled horseman, that they could ride one horse and manage like
three others
at the writing one, and managing three at the same time.
The role of emotional intelligence now is that first and foremost
role of the ACO is to manage this here. That's intrapersonal
emotional understanding
Intro.
The other role is now also learning how to manage, like you
walk in the door, Shahzad walk in, and you notice that you asked How
you doing today and the response wasn't where it should have been.
So now you have a responsibility, you can just go to your office,
you can just go and check out, you know, go on line and watch the
highlights, and just leave that person to fix their own stuff. Or
you can now attempt to emotionally manage the state and lift it up.
You understand what I'm saying? But the difficulty is that first
you need to learn how to manage this first.
Once you become aware of your own state, and you're managing that,
only then you know what they see on the airplane. First, secure
your mask around your face, and then secure the fate the mask on
the person next to you. They have to tell us such common sense
things. But again, you have to first recognize my own emotional
state, where I'm at right now. Why am I right? Am I upset from work
right now? And the boss just said something? Am I walking into the
house with baggage from work? You need to know about yourself first.
And then now once you manage yourself, you got on your horse,
you got your horse under control. Now you can walk in and say okay,
what's wrong? You okay? And crack a joke, whatever you got to do.
Hang on, I can't give you that much detail. Some things just got
learned.
Okay, we already went through this children learning emotional
management and understanding by imitating their parents reactions
and emotional changes. We already discussed that we discussed the
problem that we have, I won't use the term toxic masculinity. But I
will say that the prophesy centum was correcting the understanding
of what it meant to be a man. And he was redefining that. He was
redefining that in his society without doubt. That is definitely
there. Now, I'm so sorry, I can I keep picking on you. Okay. All
right. So shall we talk about in truck? What is the intrapersonal
awareness? Which one? Is that? Your self? Yes, exactly. Now, when
it comes to interpersonal emotional awareness, the prophesy
sentiment was someone who was building emotionality Inside Men.
Building emotionality Inside Men.
Emotion makes you vulnerable.
We don't like to be vulnerable.
We don't like
the prophets. I send them challenge that uncomfortableness
he said it's okay. Look at this example. I'll go to Matt and Ben
Oh, once looked up at the prophesies send them and this was
at the birth of the death of his granddaughter. He looked up at the
the the prophesy phenom, and he saw the prophesies of him crying.
And he said, Now to us this question doesn't make sense.
Because we live in a society where, at least at the death of
someone, it's okay to cry for men for men.
So this question for us, but in their society, even at this point,
it was strange.
It was strange for a man to cry. So a good man can have looked up
at the tears of the prophesy Solomon said and you to cry Oh
prophet of Allah.
The prophets I send them with tears in his eyes look that up
that man been out of Mammon open set. This is mercy from God. These
tears This is not a bad thing. This is mercy from Allah subhanho
wa Taala It's okay. It's fine. Redefining
This is one of my favorite ones public display displaying of
emotion Hassan and Hussein my two giant my two right hand one added
the prophesy Saddam says these are my two rayhaan a time
he's saying in front of a group of really really masculine men. These
are my two flowers. Flowers
Subhanallah
Do you understand like the display of public emotion and that's this
in his society we must learn to flowers
Subhanallah
Oh, that's just an example. I normally tell the it's really
funny. If you have little children, this happens all the
time. Every such that is a slide.
Every such that is a slide that they literally want you to go in
such as like my church, slide down.
The prophesy center was once leading the Sahaba in Salah.
And those such that got very long.
And Sahaba after the slot, they said we thought you die. We
thought revelation began what happened? Was there a new
revelation
and the prophesy some said no hustlin was on my back
And I didn't want to disturb
what
in front of these men you just said my grandson was on my back
and I extended the such though why? Because this little boy was
on my back and I want to him to get off I didn't want to pull them
off
again display of public affection public emotion in front of the
Sahaba Okay, so we talked about this listening closely. Right we
talked about listening closely
indeed only those respond who listen we talked about this as
well. Now Shahzad check this out.
Why do we see at every chance the prophets I send them is touching
those who are who need emotional attention. Why is the prophets I
send them the camo needs help he goes he touches it the the the the
tree needs help he goes and touches it Sahaba need help you
touch them. And now they have massage therapy right
now we can't go there.
Well, maybe you go to the guy who got a Turkish Mazouz
stock shot even though a Turkish machine muscles before
you've been one
pound Allah. It's a bit personal man. They get in there.
Okay, so
what do we know about touch?
Look at this study. I want to tell you a study.
The study was done by
give me a second I'll give you the exact place that did the study on
touch.
Yes, Dr. Keltner. Touch communicates This thing's
emotions. You can look up a paper. Here's a research paper called
Touch communicates this think emotion but the name of the
research paper. And the leading researcher was Dr. J. know Dr. DE
Kelton. K E L T N E R Kellton. They did a study. Let me tell you
how the study was set up.
A table was set up. And a curtain was put in the middle of the table
a curtain. So the people on one side of the curtain cannot see the
people on the other side of the curtain.
The people on one side of the curtain were given an emotion list
of about 15 emotions 15 emotions.
And the person on the other side of the curtain was given the
responsibility that they had to take they're there with no
uncovered arm and put it on the other side of the curtain. That's
all Does everyone understand.
The person whose arm is on the other side, they can't see I
cannot see the person in front of me.
The person on the other side that's just looking at my arm and
can't see me without any verbal communication has to communicate
the emotion on the paper to me,
and I have to guess which emotion they're trying to communicate.
Does everyone understand the study?
The study is was done to show does touch the touch? Can we
communicate emotions just through a touch
4810 980 9% accuracy. People understood without any words, what
emotion was being communicated?
That's very profound.
That's very profound. Because
this this this this researcher says any truer personal touch
appears to be capable of modulating people's compliance.
You know what they say about this? When waitresses want to get a
higher tip, all they have to do is touch one time throughout that
whole time you ate dinner there.
You understand what I'm saying? If a waitress touches you one time,
during the time that they're serving you, studies showed their
tip will be a little higher.
Because of the just that one touch, modulating people's
compliance.
We simply look with this researcher said we simply cannot
understand touch. Now what we do know is oxytocin is released in
the brain when someone is touched.
When someone is touched that that release happens, which has a deep
effect on the person.
I want to tell you about the prophesy synonyms use of touch.
We already looked at a few examples, right? This is one of my
favorite examples of the prophesy synonyms use of touch
hadith of football.
The prophesy centum has just conquered monka.
Conquered Makkah, the invading army of the Muslims has now taken
over Maccha. The Ark the Muslims are donning their armor. They've
come in, they've taken over the city. The city has now submitted
to the prophets I send them the prophesy centum has taken off his
armor. And now the prophesy centum is doing to walk around the Kaaba.
Other Sahaba are doing toe off, other people are doing to off the
prophesy Saddam has just conquered Makkah.
This this hadith is envy Daya anyhow, diet will be die when the
higher
the prophesy Sanlam is doing to off and someone by the name of foo
bada hoo ha hadn't become Muslim
is upset. These Muslims have just taken over
the UK how happy they are going around the Kaaba.
He's looking at the prophets I send them no body guards, no
weapons, peacefully doing tawaf
and to Bala assessed himself
I can kill the prophesy. So right now in end all of this
so he's thinking this, and as he's thinking it, the prophesy seldom
happens to walk past him doing to off and he says, ya know, he says,
Is your name for Ebola?
He says, My dad had that up in Africa Alon, because yeah, what
were you thinking right now?
For Ebola goes Lashay AppCode Allah. He goes, I wasn't thinking
that I was doing vicar. The prophesy son says stuff that Allah
stuff for Allah.
The prophesy seven keeps doing to off
for dollars like yo, that was crazy, but I can still do it.
I still do it.
He comes back around the prophesy said I'm comes close to him. He
asked him again.
What were you thinking right now? Because nothing I was doing vicar
thinker.
So he says then the prophesized to them took his hand
and he placed it on my chest.
And I felt this coolness come over my entire body
where everything became clear to me.
And then he took his hand off my chest.
And right then I knew I'm taking shahada and he took his shahada
right there.
He leaves Makkah going back home. As he's leaving Makkah, there was
one girl who he used to me. Every time he would come to Makkah, she
was sitting on her porch. So as he leaves Mecca, she's like, Yo, Boo
Bala. Hello, Mila.
Yo, come through. Let's talk. Literally, that's what she says.
I'm not just adding my ghetto, you know, whatever to it.
She says Hello, Matt. Hardy. Come through Let's talk.
Like you put your spice on it. No, that's what she said.
He goes
yeah, Billa when Islam? He goes, nah, Allah doesn't like that.
Islam doesn't approve of that. And then he starts giving her down.
And he gives a poem, though, to at Mohammed and what you do that only
if you had seen the armies of Muhammad come through that one
touch though,
completely changed, who Fabiola was.
Touches powerful. Tiffany fields has done amazing research. Tiffany
fields. She's She's
a researcher at the Institute of touch, and she has something
profound I want to read exactly what she says regarding the effect
of touch. She says that
Tiffany fields of the touch Research Institute I think it's in
Tampa. It's in Florida, explains how a message from a loved one can
I own a massage I'm sorry, a massage from a loved one can not
only ease pain, but soothe depression.
Now what I wanted to highlight here is this. What did the
prophesied? Send them say in a hadith about shaking hands. Tell
me one of the effects in the Hadith about shaking hands.
Tied to
the prophesy Salam says to sack the whole
sSafa who give that shake hands? Why? 10 Double one it takes away
atrium. Anyone ever played football or basketball and
teammates get in the fight?
What does the coach do?
Shake hands.
Shake hands.
Okay.
What happens after that?
is cool back to the game. We're back.
So yeah, have you ever experienced that I've experienced that, too.
Teammates got in a fight.
They make us run laps after we run laps aren't shake, hands, hugging.
And they shake hands. And the team goes on everything's fine.
The in literally the prophesy Selim says, shake hands, it takes
away hatred. Hello, look, look at this. Look at these studies, man.
These studies are literally telling you exactly what your
beloved prophets I send them said about the effect of touch. Now one
of the major problems that
is that happens in our families is the lack of physical touch.
There are daughters that don't get hugged by their father.
There are spouses wives that say he never touches me. I might as
well be very numb. Like there's no benefit of me being in the home.
Because there's no physical contact going on here. But as we
studied the prophesies sometimes like you see, and I give many
examples in the book guy, I don't I don't have time to go through
all of the examples. But you see example after example, after
example, after example of the prophesy centum being very touchy
with those who he loves and being close to them, especially when
they need it most emotional.
Questions, comments on this one?
Yes.
Oh, that's a good question.
So, PDA public display of affection, which is for some
cultures like horrible.
And other cultures. That ain't that that. I mean, I remember
walking down the street and rook the dean in Damascus. And the
brothers showing me around is holding my hand as we walked down
the street. And I'm like, yo, this is crazy.
We were literally walking through rook Nadine. And he's showing me
around any class hand hands.
And I'm like,
I mean, you just kiss my cheeks first.
And now we hold hands walking through the streets.
But it was me coming from this hypersexual society that
interprets everything as a sexual move, and can't just see the
hearts connecting to people other than on a sexual basis.
That's how we interpret everything.
So so your wife must say you must love me right? Every time you
touch you gotta go somewhere else. You know, I'm saying, but it
doesn't have to be that way. There are examples clear with the
prophesy sudden, didn't always seek something through a touch. He
realized that other people just need to be held just to be hug
just to cuddle.
You know, I'm saying cuddle guys.
Dr. Shadi man, you're gonna have to have a Holika on this man.
Like, seriously, row? Don't you know not online, just in the
background, call all the brothers in and just school them.
On the way the prophets I sent him was emotionally attached. What did
he do?
And I'm saying, Okay, I have a picture here. We talk about the
effect of touch.
What did the prophesies send them say about touching the head of the
year team?
Support panela
Yes.
Number one, you get as many reward as the number of hairs on the
head. What about the effect of the touch?
Yeah. What did you say?
More there's more explicit. Go ahead.
Yes, a man once came and complained that his heart was
hard.
The prophesy centum said Go touch the head of a yachtie
You think that you are helping soothing her through the touch or
that person? The prophesy said missing? There's something
happening inside you through that touch as well. So this person
said, My heart is hard. The medicine was go touch us, like a
team, go take care of an orphan kid, go be around, give them show
love to that orphan child. And that will be the cure for your
heart heartedness. So you're, you think you're, you're helping the
team, but the team is that orphan is helping your heart, softening
your heart through that touch. But the thing to note was that the
Prophet specifically, they set out to the center specifically said Go
touch the head, gonna touch the head of a team called touch the
head of a team. The point here is to understand the power of
physical touch to be close to those that we love, and, and how
effective that is.
in communicating different feelings, and helping the people
that we're interacting with questions, comments, I think he's
right that
right there?
Yes, question.
Yes, go ahead.
How can you explain?
No, no hard hearted here means he's not able to feel things. He's
not able to cry, he's not able to feel empathy for people he's not.
That's what a hard heart is nothing. It's just the heart has
become very, not alive. It doesn't feel things when people are in
pain. And I think a lot of times we desensitize our hearts so much
through our Facebook feed and stuff like that, you know, we get
used to seeing such graphic images, we get used to seeing such
things that our hearts we build hard hearts, through that Facebook
feed. And real pain is not differentiated between pain seen
on a screen.
You I'm saying? So I think that definitely hard heart means that
he's not able to feel feel pain for other people.
Yes.
opportunities for kids to come? And how
to pan up to hug newborn babies. How many
studies that helps getting from
one to one year? Yes. Yes.
Because of the effect of skin to skin contact on the child
SubhanAllah. What I want you to do is now with these studies that
talk about touch, I need you to look at how the prophesies of them
use that. And now apply that at home, your son, your daughter,
your wife, they deserve they need that. That is extremely important
for them to have that connected feeling to hold their hand. Now
you asked the question about public display, I haven't
forgotten.
We find many examples. And I know this doesn't want it with every
culture. But we do find examples of the prophesized ones public
display of affection. We do find examples. Now that doesn't mean
when you're with your sister and your your in laws, like you know,
that's just awkward.
That note is different. But you know, you go off to the cafe, you
go to the park, you go for a walk there, you're just like, you know,
why? Know that we see examples of the prophesy send them showing
public displays of affection.
You know, I'll give you an example. You know, there's one
beautiful example that I put in the book where Sofia the prophesy
seven had just been married Sofia, and and she was he was leading her
to mount the camel. And because the camel was so high, he didn't
want her to have to like lift up everything to get on it. So the
prophesy centum kneeled down on one knee with one knee raise, so
she could just step on his knee and he helped her on and
everyone's watching
you know, so Hayat like, why don't you do that? You know, you know,
that's what they said right away, like see, you know, so public
display within bounds I obviously within bounds we have we have
higher right so obviously we live in a culture that has no higher so
they'll do everything publicly. So we have bounced but small things
holding hands and being close to one another in public. I see
examples of that in the Sunnah of the Prophet so I said
might that mean you have to share it on Facebook and all that is for
you to it's not for the world to see.
Yes, sister.
I have to be heard that uses one at a time.
Right
Okay
Pamela
talked to
our last
break,
but they feel it too
Yes. So
So I felt as up to now.
So the sister I don't know if everyone heard her, but you know,
we're talking about the effect of touch on emotion. But we also have
to understand that you know sound to has not only an audible aspect
to it but a in effect a physical effect in the feeling of what
spoken to us. And I think that's what adds to the Hadith that talks
about, you know, you can say something like the prophesy centum
said or no Imam Shafi Rahim Allah he says that the the wound of a
sword can heal, but the wound of a word can't heal. And words are
extremely powerful. And when we talk about emotional abuse, now
we're talking about emotional intelligence, right? In my
understanding, if you are not emotionally aware, you will either
emotionally neglect the people in your life, when you will be a
person who
commits emotional neglect, like failing to fetus, a child, failing
to have a child is emotional neglect, failing to hug hug your
wife to be close, also is
emotional abuse. I think people who are not emotionally
intelligent and following what the prophesy centum is teaching us
here, they call easily into emotionally abuse, either
advertently on purpose, or not on purpose. inadvertently either way,
that anyone who's not connected with the emotions of the people in
their family, run the risk of emotional neglect, meaning your
child your son, your daughter, your wife needs emotional
nourishment, and they're not getting it, or Rennes, the the
even greater problem, which is emotional abuse. Now, I think a
lot of a lot of us, we understand our spouses pretty well. So when
I'm having a bad day, I know what buttons to press to make you have
a bad day too.
And that's where we fall into emotional abuse. Because I know
how to abuse you without touching you. I know how to make you feel
bad. Like like your brothers, you have a sibling you know how to
make your brother angry. Just one thing you're having a bad day you
can make your brother have a horrible day by saying one thing
but when we look at the life of the prophesy centum we see that
the prophesy system is using his emotional intelligence to uplift
people. See at the end of the day guys, emotional intelligence is a
tool.
It's a tool you can use it for negative or you can use it for
positive and that's where we come now to moral intelligence which is
a different thing.
So should we take a break or keep going
okay,
can I get some some mop
okay.
Okay, any other questions comments on what we've covered so far?
Yes
all the way
muscles
all your muscles
are more
important one attachment
interesting
so that's very profound. And you said the tip is called the The
Panama
Okay, let's go back way back. Thank you so much is like Allah
may Allah give you from the water hold the culture and shot
okay, you remember we learned this about three hours ago.
Noren Allah node is the node of why he on the note of the icon.
The external light
for the occult to see
is Revelation
everything we just talked about emotional intelligence is one part
of intelligence. And that part, as I said before, is the tool by
which society family in the self is changed. I'm gonna say that
again. Emotional intelligence is the tool by which you cause change
and positive change in other people.
Emotional intelligence is not enough to cover the uncle of the
prophesy Salem, we have to talk about in moral intelligence, which
gives us the direction of change that we want to implement. Do you
understand what I mean by that or no? Okay.
Let's look at this example here.
Okay.
Remember this example, allow me to commit Zina.
You have to differentiate in this example, you have to understand
that the prophesised has to transfer.
What Islam says what Allah says about Zina to this young man's
heart, correct.
Now, if he did not have the emotional intelligence necessary,
he may have told him Hey, Zina is haram.
But does that mean that the person is going to bring that inside of
themselves? No, because they, they, they lack the emotional
intelligence by which to convey that message over. So this is what
I would like, this is what I see, normally, what I find is that some
of us have a very high emotional intelligence, we understand how to
get things across the people. But we may not actually have a very
strong moral intelligence, which is understanding what Revelation
is saying, in this situation to do or in that situation. What does
God want from us? What does Allah want from us in this situation?
Other people have a very high moral intelligence. They know
right from wrong, they know this, they know that. But the ability to
now effectively communicate that to someone else is lacking.
Do we understand the two sides here the difference between the
two or No?
Someone else wants to communicate it to me? Who understands it
completely? Yes.
People use that to sell cars to people.
And again,
exactly. A salesman has to develop an extremely keen emotional
intelligence, a pimp, now the biller, right, they have a very
high level of emotional intelligence. But are they using
that for good? Not at all. So without the neurology node, see
the role of the emotional intelligence in the article of the
prophesy centum was to communicate the rational, the moral
intelligence? Does everyone understand what I'm saying?
The the, the purpose of the emotional intelligence in the
article of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam was to transfer
the emotion, the moral intelligence that comes to
Revelation, the right the wrong, The Good, The Bad and this and
that the purpose of all of that article is so that I can pass that
to you.
So in and of itself, emotional intelligence can be used by the
worst of people and by the best of people. It has to be grounded.
Yes.
So that's what we're going to get to now. So basically, okay, once
you're there now, if you understand that we can move
forward, which is the second half of the book that I wrote, is
regarding this
moral intelligence framework
from my wife
moral intelligence framework.
Okay, I'm going to try to zoom in. Let's see if I can zoom in here.
Oh, no, cancel.
I'm going to tell you these if you can't see them, there are five
capacities in a moral intelligence framework. There are five aspects
of moral intelligence, moral compass, which is calibrated to
fit the law and prophetic ideals. moral compass is the first part of
moral intelligence, and the moral compass is supposed to be
calibrated back to the fifth era and also with prophetic ideals. Is
this in the notes at all? No, the notes stopped short of moral
intelligence.
The note stopped short of moral intelligence.
Number Two. So what is moral compass calibration? Someone told
me that again.
It's calibrating your moral compass to number one FITARA.
What is fitrah
that natural disposition and a human being and to the prophetic
ideals.
Now what we find today is moral compasses being calibrated to
societal ideals.
Today, moral compasses of our children are calibrated to
societal ideas, not pathetic ideas. And what I find is we all
start to operate with two compasses, we have a college
campus compass, where I operate on the moral compass of the
professor. And I have a masjid moral compass. So when I'm in the
masjid, I pulled up my moral compass of profit, and I go, Yeah,
that all makes sense according to this compass. And then when I'm in
the university on campus, I hold up my moral compass of the
university and go Ah, yes, that's plausible in this environment. The
ideal is to have one moral compass, by which you've now
understood good and wrong in your in your aka in your apple. In your
opinion, you understand that your moral compass is calibrated to fit
data and prophetic ideals. turn that light off one more time,
please.
Number two,
moral commitment is the common.
So once you know the ideals, that is just knowing what's right and
wrong, the next part of it is actually doing what's right. And
living in accordance to that that is called moral commitment in
developing moral commitment. Well, we also call this the karma. And
it's the song to hold on to it. The prophesy centum said, I'm glad
they have been in the watches, hold on to it with your molars
just hold on to it. So after I understand what is right under I
understand what is wrong. Now since I've already come to the
conclusion that this is Huck, this is right. Absolutely right. And I
don't mean absolutely in other than absolutes. It is absolutely.
And I know that now I hold on to it. And it becomes something that
I'm always using this compass to navigate myself around. Number
three
moral sensitivity or the ability to recognize when something is
wrong
okay
Hadith wabi sabi.
Hold on one second, guys. I'm gonna change this page. Give me
one second.
Please bear with me. I'm gonna go back.
A man by the name of wabi sabi. He once went to the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
And as he walked up to the prophesy center, that are suicides
suddenly said to him, just uninvited when Ethan
you came to ask me about good and evil, didn't you? And why the
cycles? Yes, that's why I came.
So the prophesy centum said, Al baru, mathema Ana la Canis, la
Hanna, us righteousness is that which the heart is tranquil with
when it will Maha
V sadistic. And it them is that which is not comfortable inside
the heart
when attacking us, even when it fits the letter of the law.
Sin is that which doesn't feel right, even when it's within the
letter of the law.
Now I have a question for you.
What did in this hadith, what was made the determinant? What was
made that yes, the criterion for determining right from wrong
Hmm?
The heart
the prophesy Sam said good is that which is peaceful in your heart?
And evil is that which doesn't feel good in the heart? Correct.
Now, here's a question. You guys remember this guy? This is a hobby
about your love life.
Oh, wow. We've done so much. Yes. You remember this a hobby?
Can you imagine the prophesies, and I'm telling this, the sabe is
stuff the callback, ask your heart.
Can you imagine him saying that to him?
So here's my question. What is the difference between wabi sabi and
this young boy?
I'm giving you a hint.
Yes.
It's this one
Once the moral compass has been calibrated, now you can ask the
heart and the heart will tell you where say it is. The heart will
tell you where Shep is. That's after the calibration of it
though.
Why bissa? Is that elder Sahabi who spent a lot of time around the
prophesy send them his moral compass has been calibrated. So
when he comes in ask the prophesy centum says, yeah, why VSA? Why
are you asking me this question?
Ask your heart.
But when this young man comes, He doesn't say, Oh, son, just ask
your heart? No, because the moral compass has not been calibrated
yet. So moral sensitivity. That's number three. Right? Right.
Moral sensitivity, is when you're able to feel that this action is a
bit away from
your moral sensitivity is when you're able to realize that this
action is going off to North. You know, I'm saying, like, it may not
be completely that way. But you're able to sense that it's going off
of the mark, of what's correct. So that, and part of that, by the
way, we use a word for that called higher.
I know normally higher, we use his modesty. But it doesn't completely
encompass. There's a hierarchy between you and yourself. There's
a hierarchy between you and the community. And there's a hierarchy
between you and Allah.
And when your heart know something is wrong. That's moral
sensitivity. And that's your heart saying, Wait, this is not correct.
And that's the ability to recognize when something is wrong.
So three things so far.
Got it? Should we go to next one, yes.
Whereas
it's not.
Interesting, um,
the question is good and evil. But I assume, in my reading of it,
that he's asking of what is I mean, the evil is sinful, and the
good is rewarding. So in my understanding, I see the overlap
between the two. But perhaps there, you could separate the two.
But even then, if a person's moral compass is not calibrated, you
can't sit there and ask your heart.
You cannot ask your heart your heart is not a calibrated to good
in that. So if you ask it, it will give you wrong directions.
Right? So
go ahead
you're all the time. So I think
okay, so the remember, the moral compass is supposed to be
calibrated to the revelation.
So my moral compass may tell me such and such thing is not so bad.
But we have to put that on this litmus test or the framework of
Revelation. My moral compass should be a mirror of Revelation.
Yes.
It's
more Yeah, sure. Yeah. We have a shittier. Yes. Yes.
Yes, yes. Yes. Definitely, definitely.
Second
so that's the part of the Hadith that becomes tricky, tricky
sister. What he brought up was, the Hadith says, even if you get
the letter of the law, confirmation, even if the letter
of the law says hello, and your heart now tells, you know,
even then you staying away from it is supposed to happen. So So here
we see like, I feel like in this example, the moral compass
the true north of the moral compass, is even truer than just
the letter of the law. The letter of the law is generally speaking,
this is North this direction, north is this way.
And even if people tell you Yeah, you're still going north. You go
no, no, no, my heart is even inside the law. This is off the
mark of my heart.
It's a
The point you bring up, it's a good point, the way I looked at it
is that our goal is to make our heart calibrated to the Sharia of
what is correct what is incorrect. Once I've calibrated that heart,
then now I operate with that as my moral compass. Even if I get
fucked was in this in that I got the spirit of the law also going
with me now, I'm not gonna go completely against the letter of
the law, but my heart should keep me away from even the IPI matters.
So someone may say, Hey, this is technically valid. And you're
like, you know what, I'm gonna stay away from it just because
staying away from it is even better. Now, that's the heart
guiding you instead of the letter of the law guiding, and that's
where we actually want to be at.
Yes, sister. We're just open for questions. Now. I'm not able to
finish the moral intelligence aspect. I guess you guys are gonna
have to buy the book now. Oh, man.
So let's open up the floor for the next few questions in sha Allah.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
So close that door, please.
Thank you.
Space presents itself. Like the person is asking about this.
At this point that this part already
presupposes that
you cannot go out. Yes.
Good and bad.
Hmm.
Interesting. Interesting. Good point. That's similar to what
you're saying. Right. Interesting. Points. I don't have a concrete
answer for it. Come on.
Yes. All the way in the back Yes, sister.
This past week,
we set out of the job to write paths
that
I believe that our clients
will choose the most
whatever it is,
just own that and really lower to be a tremendous
Yes.
100% sister does awful. Okay. I think that's the place to end
today's discussion. Guys. I do have a flight to catch. It's a
seven o'clock flight out of Philadelphia. So I have to run.
Please forgive me. But I'm gonna have to leave right now in sha
Allah. And I thank you all for coming out. I think this was a
beautiful, beautiful gathering. My intention was to increase your
love for the prophets, I send them your appreciation for the
intelligence of the prophets, I send them and my intention was for
us to connect with our loved ones emotionally as well. But
understand it it is a sunnah of our Prophet to connect emotionally
inshallah to Allah. If anyone wants to reach out, please. Dr.
Shadi has my contact information. So please reach out to him in sha
Allah. And I'm sure he'll be sharing the book. When it's ready
to go and show alone we're gonna
do another promo. Or to launch the book comes out. And then we'll
have another sub session like this when the book comes out. And then
everyone could actually have a book and it has all these stories
in it. Oh, yeah, there's more. I couldn't say everything. That's
yeah. So so we'll maybe that'll be a month, maybe a couple months to
two months when the law so in a couple of months, we'll be having
part two of this.
Unfortunately, shape has a flight to catch, since doesn't want to
spend too much time. So we're very quick in and out visit, but she's
actually welcome and thank you so much for coming. And hopefully
it's not the last time I look forward to the next one. Because I
could get a sneak that was meant
to finish with a DUA and then it shone a spotlight on men around
him. How Hamdu lillahi rabbil aalameen Allahumma salli ala
Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam Allahu Madame
Minister, Luca footbag will hold them and you will have Obama in
ucalgary buena de la hubbie get up in Alameen your Allah we ask you
to give us true understanding of your deen Yet Allah we asked me to
guide us to the straight path Yet Allah we asked you to guide our
moral compasses and give us the ability to stay committed to that
moral compass shot up on me. The Allah we asked you to give us the
ability to emulate our beloved Prophet SAW
SLM and how he emotionally connected to all of those around
him out up and out. I mean, y'all like give us the ability to look
deeply in those who love us and that we love and to nourish them
emotionally yeah Allah give us the ability to follow this blessed
sunnah of the Prophet sighs them of having empathy for the entire
creation yovel but on me, y'all Allah whatever shortcomings we
have the Allah we turn to you. We turn to you and ask you to clean
our hearts to Allah we turned and asked him to clean our hearts yet
ALLAH forgive our sins, yada but automate and make us better today
than we were yesterday and make us better tomorrow than we are today.
Akoto Kali hada Subhanallah pick it up. It is at the Amaya Seapoint
was salam ala l Mursaleen. When hamdulillah
Samadhi
Okay, all right. Let's see
Yep, got it. Let me just make sure jacket is there. All I need
darkens the books. It's done my tablet