Shadee Elmasry – Mothers’ Hour, Being Mom Class #9
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Santa Monica Martha Roketsan
all right so in the past eight classes or so or lectures we've
been talking about, you know, having different approaches with
children different methods, you know, why punishing is not okay,
we spoke about the different alternatives for punishment. Last
time, we spoke a little bit about you know more about what's been
proven scientifically, you know, we related a little bit back to
the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem, and from today onwards, inshallah
going forth, we're going to be talking, or I'm going to be taking
you back to the time of the Prophet Muhammad Ali Salam. Now
that I was speaking to one on one and more of the timeout and
allowance and this and that, I want us to go back a little bit
more now to the prophets time and see what he did as a prophet
Mohammed Salim as a messenger as a teacher to us. And we'll start
inshallah with a couple of companions, such as Ennis, of
nomadic and Abdullah Mohammed, as new readers, the majority of our
Hadith from here onwards. And as you recall, we mentioned last time
that NS was a young servant in the house of the Prophet Muhammad said
a lot he was sending, and the Prophet raised them as his own
son. And we'll talk later inshallah about these narrators as
adults. So you can also learn more about them, and appreciate them as
adults, you see how they turned out to be being raised on the
hands of the Prophet Muhammad, Salah Salem. And more important
realize that they didn't just become great as adults, it's very
important. Nobody just grows up to be great. Their greatness was a
process that developed since they were very, very young. And there's
a great message to all of us as parents here. And that is
transformation. The earlier it happens, the more genuine it is.
And a lot of us become more practicing Muslims, as we grow
older, maybe when we go to college, or we join a Muslim
society later on, most of us have become more religious as we grew
older. And you cannot compare that to someone who becomes a half as
at the age of five or six, or knows how to layer, you know,
lower the gaze at the age of eight. It's not comparable, it's
difficult, because I could relate totally to this. Sometimes I find
myself struggling with things because I wasn't, you know, it
wasn't a habit, this wasn't how I was raised, you kind of start
realizing this is the right thing to do. And then you start kind of
going and struggling back and forth with your own habits or how
you grew and it's much more difficult. Versus if this is how
you were raised from day one, then you don't have to struggle. Or
even if your struggle is not as hard as then when you just you
know, join in much later and try to break off habits when you're
older. Okay, now, and you wouldn't have a problem with your child as
he gets older. And since he's been doing it such since such an early
age, I'm sorry. And we have to always remember that the Prophet
Muhammad, so Salam was building blocks, locks of the character. So
you cannot have a full wall of blocks, you know, it's just
suddenly that it's gonna appear at the age of 20 You have to start
building it one by one, you can't just wake up one morning and
there's your son full grown fully, you know, mashallah, you know, you
know, practicing and well behaved and and you have to start building
these blocks one by one, this brick one by one, if you want to
see that beautiful building at the end, it's not just going to happen
by itself, right, has to be built smoothly and slowly and naturally,
to reach that shape that you want. Okay. And the first block, the
Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wanted to establish was
confidence. He wanted to create a love relationship, or a
relationship of confidence between himself and between the
youngsters, they don't want instructions or commands as we
spoke before, children's don't want a halacha like the one that
we're sitting in here right now, or a class of fuck, that's not
what they're looking for. Children want to play, they want to laugh,
and they want to enjoy themselves, right? Children want to fall in
love with any person that anticipates to listen to them, be
it the mother, or the father, or the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu
sallam. And whenever I just want you to keep you know, whenever I'm
talking to you about the Prophet, please try to bring this down back
to you, like, see what he's doing and see how we can, you know, take
out of it, okay? So it's not just that we're listening to stories,
it's important, of course, to listen to stories, but we have to
be a little bit more proactive. What are we going to learn from it
and what we're going to take out from and not just listen to, like,
oh, you're a soldier and just love the Prophet more than we already
do. Which is all beautiful, of course, but we have to be
proactive people and that is to take something out of it and start
actually implying it. Okay, I don't want to just like it
storytime, I love story time, but we have to learn something and
start applying. Okay, so before the Prophet Muhammad, Salah Salem,
spoke to them about heaven and *, and prayer and wearing hijab
and fasting, he was spending a lot of time and effort to make them
love him, with children in general. And once love is
established, taking of the medicine becomes very easy after
that. If I can establish this love relationship with my child, if I
come after them and tell him you know, let's go pray. They're going
to do it. Maybe not just because they're convinced but because they
love me and they want to make me happy, right? But if you come to
your child, you
always like on their case and you comment on the goal pray, they
don't want to listen to you. They don't care if they upset you or
not. Right versus if you have that love relationship. So I pat on
your head on your shoulder than I asked you gently to what? To pray.
As he's alone, I seldom used to say to others, I love you. And
then you'd say afterward, try to pray 200 Or pray in the middle of
the night. You see how the two are coming together. And if one is
coming before the other, it's the love. Emotion. It's the building
of the confidence relationship. Okay? Parents must build a loving
relationship that's based on confidence in a way that you
become your child's friend. When Obama became a Muslim, who became
a Muslim with him, who knows, anyone know? His son, his son
became a Muslim with him because they were friends. They were so
close. So he found his father like that. So was out of the question.
If this is what my father is doing, and he's my best friend,
that's what I'm doing to Subhan Allah. And that's why you see a
lot of Hadith. You'll find Ahmed is talking to his son, Abdullah,
Mohammed or Abdullah Mohammed talking to his father Ahmed, they
were so close to each other. So when he converted, I'm gonna bring
up Abdullah convert with him right away. You also see Jonathan Abi
Talib, one of the prophets, relatives PCB upon him, and his
son, Abdullah Abdullah Jaffa, there wasn't a generational gap
between him and his father Jaffa. Right. There wasn't also that gap.
They were you know, they became Muslims together. And you
shouldn't fall into the misconception of the generational
gaps. There is no such thing don't come unto me, I'm much older, my
kids are much younger, there is no such thing as a generational gap.
The gap is created by you being not in touch. Okay, with the
youth, maybe our features don't make us that much acceptable by
the youngest, but the least we can do is familiarize ourselves with
their culture, the music, they listen to the talks, and how they
text and Google Plus have a chat, whatever it is. So generalization
gaps are created only when you choose to create it, it doesn't
really exist. If you say, Oh, I'm older, the younger I don't want to
know, if you truly want to stay in contact and in touch with your
child. You go and see what they're doing and figure it out, see
what's out there that they're listening to or what they're
reading, or what's the, you know, religious release whatever it is
that they are into, and you have to know what it is you have to
stay connected, and don't say, Oh, it's a different generation.
That's not That's not right.
Now, let's see how the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam built the emotional block in the dimension and in the
character of the children. And we mentioned the word love, right.
But let's add to it another word, mercy. And we spoke last time a
little bit about mercy. If you remember how one of the first
alternatives for punishment was what? To have mercy on your
children, right? Okay, so I'm sure you've heard a million sheiks
mentioning how the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam was sent as
what a mercy to all mankind. We've heard this all the time, right.
Ramadan, Nila Alameen.
And try to think of mercy in all states, not when you feel like it
or not when things are going your way, and not when you're not
moody. Because we all do have mercy with our kids. But when
we're moody, you're in a bad mood. The Mercy somehow kind of jumps
out of the window. Somehow it flees out of the doors, something
or when you're tired or whatever, and you want to sleep you don't
have that in you Subhanallah no one can smile all the time. If
they're moody, if you're a moody person, there's no way you're
going to be smiling all the time. Absolutely, yes. The Prophet
Muhammad Ali Salam always smiled. Even if it was the last thing that
he wanted to do. Yes, he wept and he cried. But this wasn't his
dominant attitude. We will we will cry, but it shouldn't be your
dominant attitude, especially when he was interacting with the
children. Okay. And Anna states, he says what kind of Rasulullah
sallallahu wasallam are hominess the Serbian Well, Al
that he SallAllahu wasallam was the most more the most merciful
among all people upon little kids. Right? No one was more merciful
with a little bit more than the prophets. And Allah subhanaw Malik
understand exactly what that means. Out of his personal
experience, he lived with him who was raised with Him. I remember
last time we were talking about how he said the Prophet Muhammad.
He said, I lived with the Prophet Muhammad Salim I can't remember. I
think it was his entire like childhood. Never once did he have
or puff to me. Never once did he tell me why did you do this? Or
why didn't you do it? And he's a servant. He's treating him as a
son. But can you imagine for 10 years? And we're saying How could
have that been possible? Remember last time, so as new people that
were merciful in his life, and he knew the Prophet Muhammad
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he knew that there was no one that
had the prophets mercy.
Woman or sunnah. Illa Ramadan Nila Holloman and you were not sent
except as a mercy to all mankind. So what mercy is and is talking
about, what kind of mercy is he talking about? We have to go into
a little bit more space. I'm just picking about mercy. Let's see.
Let me share with you a story about anuses little brother, and
I'm sure all of you have heard this story. And his name was
brought on my yard. Okay, Amir is and as his little brother. Now of
all my year had a small little pet
That's a birth that was called a new hire. Okay. And as I give you
examples, please try to contemporize them and imagine your
child had a little plushie that she held all the time, or a little
Disney character or a Barbie or whatever it is, unfortunately,
that they hold these days. But imagine that that toy was broken,
alright? Or even if they had a real pit of fish, or a dog or a
cat or whatever it is, became ill and died. Same story, right? Try
to like go back and forth, listen to the story and try to apply to
what we're living in. What sort of impact will that have on your
child? I remember we had one of our friends. Her son had a little
kitten and he lost it once and it was was it wasn't a real kitten
was a plushie and he went with it everywhere she had to actually go
and find the same exact one I think to you know, just to calm
down her child because he was little and he was so attached to
it so can you imagine now if was a real pet and it died? Okay, what
kind of impact will that have on your child? The Prophet Muhammad
Salim could go and say what to him? You know in Allah when Allah
Hello Joe and truly to Allah subhanaw taala is the return or
for that worker it's Allah's Destiny right? I mean, the bird
died what is he going to tell the kid Okay, died? It's, you know,
Allah's will. Everything dies? Well, this might be true. Yes,
everything dies and truly to Allah subhanaw taala has a return, but
not for a child.
A child needs comforting. A child needs someone to cheer him up. A
child needs someone that will talk with him about the issue or the
subject that he is thinking about. Right? And that's why they tell
you when someone passes away, it's good to speak with his close
relatives about the deceased. Okay? If you're giving someone
condolences, okay, you don't say oh, they don't want to be reminded
No, try to remember something good that you only knew about the
person and share it with them because that's all that's on their
mind. Okay. And it's the same with a child. All he can think of right
now is what his gets the died. And I'm sure you all know the story
again, because it's narrated many times, with many different
durations. And each narration gives a different dimension.
Right. Now one of the narration says what about the story? The
Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam entered and said or
asked, Why is Amir upset and try to picture with me, okay. This is
the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam coming to visit
what? A child and he's showing concern. While in the back of his
head. He has the whole message, the burden of the message, okay.
He's thinking about he has Quraysh and the battles like better than
his wives and his son whom he lost. But yet his heart is so big
to afford to think about this question. Why is all my year
upset? Why is he crying? This is one narration. All right. Another
narration says what? Oh, my calm. Let's play together. Right? The
prophet is telling a little trick the Prophet guys, not us. What do
we have to do quick and clean and work? This is the prophet with a
message to the entire humanity. Come, let's play together. Right.
And in another narration from Ennis. And he starts by saying the
best of people in morals is the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam, and I had a brother. Okay. And here's the personal
experience. It's not just the verse, you're reading about the
Prophet Muhammad Salim about mercy, no, it's anuses personal
experience with witnessing his mercy. SallAllahu wasallam. And he
says, What, and I had a brother, that was called about a year, and
he had just finished nursing. So he's about what, two or three
years old tops, and he was sad. And when he the Prophet Muhammad
Sallallahu Sallam would come to visit us, he would say, Oh, my
dear, what's happened with a new hire?
And you can understand from the words here, what when he came to
us, that he visited them what? Regularly, he went to visit these
children drink literally. And ask the question about Oh, my God,
what happened to a new hire? The Prophet knew exactly what
happened. I knew the word that was dead. Right? What I'm trying to
get to you is that the Prophet Muhammad SAW Selim is talking
about a theme, that does not necessarily concern him, right?
Because you usually concern yourself with asking questions you
don't know the answer to right. You don't come and ask me. You
know, where's your purse? I mean, you know that my purse is here,
why are you going to come and ask? We're going to come and ask me,
for example, you know, why were you late yesterday? Or something
that you don't know the answer to? Okay? You don't concern yourself
with asking questions, if you don't, if you already know the
answers to it. But the idea here is that he's asking questions to
the one that is feeling what sorrow, the question here is not
for you to know the answer. But for him to know that you are
concerned. Do you understand how the Prophet Hassan was approaching
this? He doesn't really he already knows the bird is dead. It's not
going to change anything. But he wants to show this little child
that what he's concerned okay. How are you now? How are you feeling?
When you're certainly know that the person in front of you is
miserable, but you're still asking how are you? How are you feeling?
Now? You go visit someone who's sick, and you know that they're
sick, but how are you feeling now? Are you better? You know, they're
not better but you just asked to show them that you're concerned.
Okay? And anticipate the answer, even if there isn't one. But the
child will definitely recognize that you have asked and showed
concern. Not just once but every time you come in for
it so every time he would visit them, he would ask him, How is the
know how you're, you know, how are you, you know, how's the bird you
know the birds dead now you miss him. academisation says in this
comment of this hadith that the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam called
the child by his nickname Adama yet and an Arabic means what?
Father advocate, sort of to give him the adulthood feeling or to
cheer him up. Even harder, and others say that this hadith shows
many benefits, right? One of them is that it's permissible, first of
all, to ask a question that you already know the answer to, not
not being out of being sly, but to show your empathy to somebody,
okay? Another benefit is to lower your level of understanding to you
know, to a level that will be comprehended by your listener,
okay. That's permissible is that if you're going to be talking to a
child, you talk to them what is the level that they can't
understand you, you don't speak to them, like you're speaking to, you
know, your, your manager at work, or if you're giving a lecture to
adults, you have to change you have to you know, become more, you
know, you know, you know, in the sense where you can address the
person in front of you and they understand okay, the Prophet
Muhammad Salim isn't concerned with a little bird he saw or the
death of a little bird, he saw his own wife die Khadija Raja lon, he
saw his son die, he saw the deers of people die in front of them in
battles. He saw his uncle Abu Talib die as a disbeliever. But
what is more important to him?
It's the emotion. It's the block that he's trying to build. Right?
And more important, he's trying to show a child that there is nothing
wrong with being upset, or feeling sorry for a pet. It's okay. It's
okay to be sad. And it's important to show that your kids you can't
just be happy all the time, it's perfectly normal. Don't be
embarrassed to cry over such a thing. This is something that is
legitimate. This is something so important that I will not read a
hadith about it, so that it can be narrated till the Day of Judgment.
And we now after how many years are talking about the death of a
little bird a pet, right or not, would have never heard about this
pet Raven known that birds name. I mean, if the prophet Muhammad says
that I'm didn't state the whole Hadith about it. And it's
basically just to show you, it's very important to show concern to
children and to ask them even if you know the answer, just to show
them that they know that you're concerned you care about them.
Building the emotional block is very crucial in the methodology of
the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and looking at
another situation, picture with me that you're a judge or a ruler.
And the lady came to you and told you, I committed adultery. And
this is at that time they were what they were applying the what?
The Islamic rulings, right. And she repeated four times to confirm
it, that she had done that. What will you do? You will say
according to what to the, to the Sharia, she's going to be stoned
to death. You know, she's married and she did adultery. So she's
going to be stoned to death. Right? But the Prophet Muhammad wa
sallam didn't do that. Why?
Because she had a child.
Imagine the child will never see his mom again. Right? That child
will become an orphan member. He told her what go until you give
birth. And then after she gave birth, what she came back to him,
and they told her go until you finish nursing him and then go and
he kept on sending her back giving her the chance of what? Just to
let go, right? So imagine this child is going to become an orphan
at the age of what, three or four right? He's, she's gonna be dead
by then. Yet these couple of years, the prophet knew that these
couple of years are important and extremely significant, that he
lives with his mother, and that he is breast fed by his mother,
cuddled by his mother embraced and kissed by his mother, loved by his
mother that will die soon.
Can you imagine that? That mother could never you know, she could
have not said what she did or simply ran away when they released
her right when she was perfect. She went to him and she told he
told her what wait till what you know you're done with your nursing
and then come back or whatever it is. She could have just gone and
never come back. Right. But the Prophet Muhammad Salim didn't put
her under house arrest. He didn't shackle her. He didn't hurt her.
She went to the Friday prayers, she went to the mosque. Obviously,
when she came in, she told the prophet that means that she
repented she felt the sin and she wanted to repent. She went to the
market to buy her groceries for her baby. And everyone knew that
she committed adultery, but her honor was protected and maintained
because of her child.
Now what more of a mercy Do you want more than that? 100
milliliter herd what she did, he actually hit her on the head. And
that is our attitude. Nowadays, if somebody does something wrong,
everybody just pounce on them right away. But the Prophet
Muhammad so seldom a mercy or torment. Mankind said what? Oh, by
Allah yokel it, she has repented a repentance that if this era
Panthers were to be embodied in the form of a blanket, it would
cover all the heads of the companions, and you're talking
about 2000 companions of that time, including you have it
can you imagine that the mercy of the Prophet Muhammad Salah
whenever we hear this hadith, or I'm sure a lot of you have heard
this hadith we always focus on the mother
but
can wait to be focused on the child, right? Can we think about
this child when he grows up? How much will he loved the Prophet
Muhammad cisilion Because his spirit, his mom, another three or
four years for her to attend to him, won't he remember his mother
as someone who repented before she died? Imagine if she came to the
Prophet and profit just killed her and she died right there.
Right and the child was born and that his mother, you know, died in
such a way. But the Prophet gave her the chance to live among the
people, right? Imagine this child growing up with other children who
all know his story. Will they disrespect him now? Or Or they
could have tried to compensate him for the loss with love and mercy?
And the mothers of these children that they play with this child?
Right? Well, they love him more and care for him more because his
mother despite her sin, she became a pious lady and repented before
she met her lord. Have you ever thought of this, when you heard
this hadith before? Subhan Allah, please try to think about Islam in
the sense and about Hadith in the sense in the sense, not only what
others convey to you, you know, look at things from all different
perspective. Because if you do, you will know truly the mercy,
what it is and how you can apply it with your child. Right? Don't
just take the main reading, why did the Prophet do that? Why did
he send her back because there was a child, and imagine the
difference of her being dead as a sinner, or dying as a person who
repented and lived among them and went to pray and interacted, you
know, and the respect was gained again, just because of repentance,
subhanAllah and all for the sake of what, of a child. This is the
Prophet Muhammad Salah salams mercy with children. And this
wasn't just through action, but also through body language, you
could be you know, you could give you could short or you could do
with body language, wiping used to wipe children's head or massage or
like patting or rubbing. Alright, and I'm sure all of you have had
babies at home, you know, if you had babies recently, or in the
past, you've heard about the benefits of what massaging your
baby and cuddling your baby and its significance and how research
studies made in the animal kingdom and in cross cultural studies show
that infants that are held carried massaged are healthier, and their
societies are less what aggressive and less violent. Subhan Allah
just proven nowadays, when was the prophet Muhammad during this, but
we don't tend to, you know, to, we always tend to like, oh, you know,
things are, you know, different from the bat, you know, old days
is different from now, we're different times and then, but you
know what, the Prophet Muhammad says something new, we just tend
to kind of like deviate and try to find our own new ways and then
kind of start complaining, oh, it's not working? Well go back to
the source to your initial, you know, teacher to the Prophet
Muhammad wa salam, you know, alright, and think back to
yourself about physical punishment, and emotional abuse of
children through yelling and screaming, and what kind of
societies will result versus children that are showered with
compassion and mercy, hugs and kisses, and what their societies
will look like Subhan Allah, and think, after all, that what the
Prophet Muhammad wa sallam was doing at all that, that which
stabilizes the society and builds the emotional block in the
character of a child, right? He was doing it from ages, and we're
just discovering it now. SubhanAllah. Think about it. He
used to live on the children's head. And the lovely golfer says,
and this is when he was a little child, the messenger of allah
sallallahu sallam, white with his hand on my head, I think three
times. And he's adult now no reading this hadith. And he's
proud to the extent that he even remembers the number of the wipes
that the Prophet wiped on his head. Children remember everything
that you do? Don't belittle any action. All right. And that's more
interesting is why the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam was wiping his
head. He was making dua saying what? Oh, Allah reward Darfur in
his son, because Abdullah ethnographer had lost his father
golfer, what in the war, okay? What I'm trying to stress on here
is children, either after 10s of years, they will remember very
well, the compassion you give them, just as they will remember
anything you do to hurt them. Any kind of verbal abuse, any fight
you have, as parents in front of them, they will register
everything, everything just picks up. It's like recorded Subhanallah
I can remember things from when I was a very little child, I
remember like, when even was five years old, like certain toys and
certain things, I remember them very clearly. And I'm sure all of
you have certain flashbacks of your life. It's very important.
All right. And we all know that everyone has like a long term
memory and a short term memory, and has been proven that long term
memory is associated with incidents when they are unique,
okay, or is associated with joy or pain either way, but something
painful you remembered when you were giving birth, you remember
very well what it felt you remember, you can't forget that.
And when you you know, you saw your child for the first time and
they smiled at you. You also remembered things that are
associated with pain you remember things that are associated with
joy, you remember Subhan Allah and short term memory becomes long
term memory with repetition. And that's why they tell you if you
want to memorize the Quran, and keep a long term memory, what do
you have to do? You keep repeating
doing it over and over and over and then becomes topologists part
of you. But also to turn short term memory into long term. You
have to associate it with someone or something that is painful or
joyful. Alright? I love this Pete you say my Oh, I love this piece
of music or I love this scent. Not because you love the music or the
center itself, right? But because what it reminds you of a certain
time of your life. So the Prophet Muhammad Salem is trying to create
positive association, okay with education, so he's educating you
and giving you draw and Hadith, okay, he's patting on your
shoulder, and then he's telling you what to do. He's rubbing on
your head and then he's making draft for you and your father,
okay? While patting or wiping on your head, okay. Now something
else How about giving kisses, little kisses? Right? Abu Hurayrah
Raji Allah and what are the narrated the Prophet Muhammad wa
salam kissed his grandchild and Hassan, who died at the age of 46.
And he looked a lot like the Prophet Muhammad says, I love his
grandfather. And while he kissed him, one of the companions said, O
Messenger of Allah, I have 10 boys that I have never ever kissed than
you imagined. I can I can even picture that like, I mean, I think
my kids are like, just keep away from me, right? You know, it gets
them all the time, like in your nose and your cheek and your head
and your hands, you know? So the Prophet Muhammad Selim says,
Whoever doesn't have mercy on others, no one will have mercy on
him. Men Leia, Han, Leia, your hum. Can you picture these 10 boys
growing up? Do you think they will have any love or compassion in
them?
When they were dealing with their wives, or that one day they will
kiss their own children or even their father that never taught
them how to give a kiss? Right? Again, the Prophet Muhammad I send
them is building emotional blocks so that these emotional blocks
when you're an adult, will beam to the rest of your society,
including your parents, your wife and your children when you get
married right. Now, how can you expect them to offer something
that they don't have something that you never gave them in the
first place? That's the first thing you can't expect your child
to be something that you didn't instill in them? Okay. The second
thing what is the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam doing in the society? If
you look at the Companions response, how he was shocked to
see the, you know, the prophet kissing his grandson, which is
something very natural, you will see that the companion is shocked
to see someone kissing a child. All right in public. Nowadays, of
course, we try to close our eyes from the amount of you know, lovey
dovey nests that goes around us. We're like hiding ourselves in our
kids, you know, too much snug and going around the time of the
Prophet Muhammad Salam in Mecca, Medina, getting of a child or a
father kissing a child was very shocking. It wasn't just the
desert that they were suffering from. But it was the desert in
their feelings. These people had the guts to bury their own
daughters alive. So why would you be astonished to know that they
lived with the sons that they never ever embraced with the kiss?
It's not nor it's not something to surprise you. They could vary
their daughters. Why would it be not normal not to kiss your son?
What is the Prophet Muhammad Salim trying to do is that he's kissing
his grandson in public because the Sunnah is his words. And what as
well, his actions, he wants to make the kissing of a child assume
that in the society that never experienced that. Do you
understand the significance of this hadith, right? It's not Oh,
he's cuddling the baby and kissing Oh, it's cute. No, look at who was
watching him and the comment that was made. And let me make a
comment here. Again, men layer hub layer hub is not only that, Allah
subhanaw taala would have mercy on you. If you don't have mercy on
others. It's your own children that will not have mercy on you if
you do not have mercy on them, or on other people. If you don't have
mercy on your kids now don't expect them to have mercy on you
when you grow older. If you're not there for your children now don't
expect them to be there for you when you're older. manleigh Your
hum sorry, my lair hum Leia hum. The Companions observe this value
of being affectionate, compassionate and expressing their
emotions, but not just
towards their children, but towards the what their society at
large. I'm going to be caught up when he became a middle Marine.
Okay, now I'm gonna be the hot dog. You know, he's like, I'm
gonna have a hot tub is not. So he's a serious guy. There's no
joking with him. He himself kissed one of his children. And he was
the kind of the man that was very strict. Now, Omer actually
eventually kissed the children. And he smiled even although he was
a very serious person, right? hamdulillah made him smile and do
a lot of other things. Sama kissed his son. And one of his people,
one of the governors who worked for him said, Oh, Ameerul Momineen
you kiss him and you're Amira, meaning you're the leader of the
Muslims. Like, he was like, you know, like, what are you doing?
His perception is to be a leader, you have to shout and give orders
and commands and be serious at the same time. Alma looked at him and
said, This is my sin, if Allah has taken mercy out of you is because
it was it must have been a sin for me That Allah has taken mercy out
of you. And he fired him. And before firing him, he said, if you
have no mercy on your own children, then how do you have
mercy on the people that you govern?
If you don't even if you're surprised that I'm kissing my son
and you don't have that verse in your heart for your children, how
can I let you govern over my people? You're not gonna have
mercy over them if you don't have mercy of your own kids that your
own flesh and blood Subhan Allah he's not expecting you to kiss the
people he governed but a kiss is a simple manifestation of what's in
your heart It's just an example now let's look at something else
the Prophet Muhammad Salim did something that is beautiful and we
always look at it from the physical point of view right? And
that is it is okay to carry a baby while praying is his urine
considered not just or not to do so? You know as he's wearing a
diaper is it okay you know, is it gonna leak on me and my pure or
not? But I want to share a beautiful reading for this hadith,
okay, a human reading, not about is it haram or halal or is it
permissible or not permissible? Abu Qatada narrates that the
Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam used to pray with the people while
he was carrying on Emma, daughter of Zainab, his granddaughter. And
if he made sujood, he placed her down. And when he got up, he
carried her. And the scholar said, what is permissible to carry your
child when you are praying, and I'm sure back then they didn't
have diapers, at least, you know, back then probably they were you
know, at least even now we're in a better situation, okay. But it was
permissible to carry a child when you are praying. And in the most
even today, women, you know, they're praying in the back that
kids are usually in the middle and the men are in the front. And all
the way in the front would be what the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salam.
Now imagine you go into the message and never we and you see a
little girl all the way in the front of the mosque, right? In a
society that used to bury girls alive.
Because they were chained to the society in their point of view. So
what is the prophet again, trying to say here by carrying her he's
trying to say the girls are pure. He's trying to say the girls are
honorable, that you men pray behind her. And I don't mean the
insanity that's happening here where a woman lead the prayer, of
course, I don't mean that. I'm just trying to give you a
metaphor, okay. And if you look at this a child at the age of two and
who sprang behind her on top of Uber, Krista de la mesa, like
these are great men. Oh, my goodness, like the Sahaba the
great companions are praying were behind her. And where's her
mother's end up? You know, couldn't her mother carry her
right? Or couldn't any other woman that's, you know, present in the
message carrier or any adults so the Imam could focus.
I can assure you that the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salam could stand
here right now. Giving us a hot buck, cuddling and Hasson and
caring remember the other side? Why? Because he is Rama lillahi
Alameen. He is a mercy to all mankind, including children, not
seasonally, not depending on his mood,
everywhere and anywhere, just like he would enter his prayer because
the baby was crying. He can elongate it because he was
carrying his granddaughter OMA Subhan Allah,
what I want to focus on, it's your body language of carrying your
little one, and try to picture a member now when she grows up,
right? And she prays and carries her baby. Will she be thinking
about the fear of carrying your child while she's praying? Is that
what she's gonna be thinking about? Or will she be she thinking
of the good memories of her grandfather carrying her positive
associations, try to link your children to things that are
positive things from their past that they can watch relate to, and
what gives good with it as well. Playing with children joking with
children, things that you haven't seen, like sticking out your
tongue to your child in a funny way not to teach them but you
know, when you stick your tongue out, you're playing with your
child right? Now I will hold on or Jalon or generate swing word in
the book of empty headband. The Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam
used to stick his tongue out to his grandson al Hassan, right.
He's playing with a child and in public and he's the Prophet
Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam, the CEO of all messengers, and he's
not embarrassed to do so in front of everyone. And you see nowadays,
dads that are like Jani they even Jani they, it's embarrassing to
them to hold their child's hand or to take their son to the bathroom.
But this is the provident, He's sticking his tongue out to his
grandson in public. He is not embarrassed that I narrated today
to you. On the contrary, he's proud of it, he did it. And he
wants all of us to do the same thing. Play with your children
joke with them in public. nothing shameful about it. There's nothing
to be ashamed of 100 and Jota was saying a quotation that is
fascinating. And the reason that is fascinating because of who is
seeing the quotation, if any else anybody else were to see this
quotation, it would be normal, but for Omer to say this, so what is
he saying? He says, A man with his wife, and with his children should
behave like a baby. And of course I'm already I'm sure all of you
ladies think that okay. Men already do act like babies is not
something new is something we don't know about right?
Meaning what? Meaning easygoing, approachable, nice, innocent like
a child. That's what Homer says. Jamberry Licola Raju and yeah,
coonelly Lee because Savi the eidl to me seminar in the How would you
dodgeland Meaning what? But at the moment, that very baby or very
child is called for duty. He's found a responsible man.
Okay, he smiles with his wife he plays with his kids, but when he's
called he's found a man
This is a formidable hot, humid hot tub like Katie mentioned, like
he's playing with his kids and joking and laughing with his wife.
Of course, we all know him with the picture of the man the
responsible man, the serious man. But this is all caught up saying
the Circulon are though.
Another thing the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem did was giving gifts
to the children, not only the time of aid, now you see gifts makes
you more beloved to each other to head to the hub with the more
gifts the more Allah subhanaw taala puts word love in your
heart, you'd like it when somebody gets your gift, especially if it's
a gift that you like, right? It makes you happy. So Paula, if it's
something small, if it's someone leaves your bar of chocolate or a
note or something, it gives you the support and your pleasure,
excuse me.
gifts have a functional role that they play in the book of Muslim
narrated by if no Hurayrah that every season, the crops or the
dates or the fruits of Medina will be bought to the Prophet Muhammad
Sallallahu wasallam to distribute to the to its Jews, the people who
are supposed to take their, you know, portions of it. But before
he did any of that he would bring the youngest children and give
them some dates first, and he would say Oh Allah, bless our
city. Bless our people, bless our crops. Now imagine the children
taking the dates from the Prophet Muhammad Salah salams hand, and
there's a long queue of people, adults, waiting till the children
finish eating their dates, and taking more if they wanted to.
Can you imagine the emotional, you know, or picture the emotional
link that will happen between these kids and between the Prophet
Muhammad wa sallam as they grow up? He's giving them even the
respect adults, you wait, children, please come to the front
and come to a date or you don't take some more. Right? Can you
imagine now that the love that has been planted in their little
hearts, when they grow up? And the the Prophet wants, you know them
to listen to him? Are they going to listen or no? Yes, they will.
Because he's building what? This emotional, what relationship is
confidence, gift your children with something small, even if it's
from the dollar store, it's going to break okay? It's not the toy if
that you're building an experience with your child, that my mother
bought me a toy, even if it will break again after a few months,
which naturally Of course it will, or something makes something for
them something that will make them happy or victim something that
they love, you know, or to them their favorite sandwich or meal,
whatever it is something that they really enjoy, right? Just to have
the experience to build that emotional, you know, bond between
them. Another story in the book of Tiburon, even narration of this
hadith happened after the death of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam now is hot in the area of Natasha, who seems to be a
follower. Tebay a follower basically is somebody who lived at
the time of the Prophet. He didn't see the prophet, but he saw a
companion, right? He didn't see the Prophet he was alive at the
time of the prophet but he never saw him right. And compelling, of
course, is anybody who saw the Prophet even if he met him only
once. Okay. tabula is like the second generation, the saw people
who saw the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem, and he says, I was with my
uncle isobutyl ha in the mosque, and an old chief entered called a
saw nearly as it alright, as seven years it was a blind old man,
okay. And he was a companion. He saw the Prophet Muhammad
Christendom, okay. When he was young as a child, he was a
companion. And now in the time of the followers or a tethering,
okay, He's much older. Now, why is that the uncle is in the mosque,
and he's telling his nephew is hot. Go and ask Assad. Has he ever
seen the Prophet Muhammad wa salam? So it's hard because a
child goes to the sheikh, and he says, my uncle Eisah Natalka asks,
Have you ever seen the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, and the sheikh replies talking about beautiful memories.
And he says, once I entered upon the Prophet Muhammad wa salam
once, and I saw him as he was sitting with the Companions,
eating dates, and with me were other boys. And when he saw us, he
took some dates and gave them to us. Right? And then what? That's
it, end of the story. Nothing else. But what an honor the story
to him. What a great documentation. What a source of
pride, the fascinate, you know, the fascinating thing is that this
old chef, and he still remembers, and this is what he you know, he
remembered, that's all he can remember, all he did was he gave
him some days, but he gave it to him as a child, and he's an old
blind man now, but he can remember it because it was linked with
something happy, something that brought joy to him, right? This is
what I'm talking about positive association and positive
association. And what's even better, if you look about is the
uncle ice of Natal. What did he do? He's keen to link the young
boy his nephew to the legacy of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu
wasallam.
You know, ice already knows that saw episode The Prophet Muhammad
sai Salam, he knows that he did, right? But he's telling his nephew
Go and ask him, did he see the Prophet? It's something great,
right? Nowadays, what do we do? Honestly, sit and think about it.
We see a celebrity even if he's a Muslim celebrity, right? Like I
see the better thing but you know, you see a celebrity. We make our
kids go take a picture with them or take their autograph, or buy
their T shirts or shoes or their backpack with their logo on it, or
have their children have their same you know, hair cut or the
same sunglasses.
We linked our children to that person and his or her footsteps
without realizing.
I was trying to link his nephew to the legacy of the greatest of men,
the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, through a small story. And
that's what we should try to work on linking our children to the
legacy of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, through a story
that had nothing more than simply honoring of seeing what the
Prophet saw him was, you were making them feel that you know,
everything that is associated with the Prophet Muhammad Salam is what
is honorable, including the Chi, right? If you start working from
now, you know, associating your child or linking them or bonding
them with the Prophet Muhammad Ali Salam. If you teach your children
how to love the Prophet Muhammad sai sirloin, it's going to be very
easy for them to follow in his footsteps. Because that's what
children do. You know, your children when they're little kids.
You know, when you have little daughters, they see what they
watch what you're doing. They love mommy, mommy's like, you know, the
sun in the moon to them, right? It's everything that's beautiful.
They see wearing high heels, they go on what they wear your high
heeled shoes, they grab your purse, they try to you know, go
and play with your makeup box or where all your jewelry, they put
your perfume. They try to copy you, right? They see what mommy's
doing at home and they try to copy her because they love her. So
imagine if you try planting this love in their heart for the
Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam from when they're so tiny, so
little. What's going to happen as they grow
automatically. You don't have to tell them you have to do this or
you have to do that. The Prophet loves this. Oh, let me do like
him. I want to be like him. I love him. Right? So it's your duty
insha Allah to start, you know, today we looked at the emotional
block. We're going to start looking about how the Prophet
Muhammad wa sallam used to instruct in the coming one first
he built what the love now that you love me, now I can instruct
you. Because once you love me, you're gonna listen to me. Right?
So shall love isn't to try to work on that aspect or this, you know,
idea this week in sha Allah and hopefully inshallah we'll come up
with something as again, as I said, not just as a story, try to
take something out of it, please, because that's the whole point of
this class on Shabbat, right was all Muslim, Muhammad Ali, and
you're so happy with
me. Thank you so much.