Shadee Elmasry – If a Guy Did This to Your Wife What Would You Do- Fights
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AI: Transcript ©
Some guys need coaching, I'm telling you, because
they have been so brainwashed that the fitra
is bad when it comes to male desires.
For example, I asked one time, you're sitting
at a restaurant and a guy flicks food
at your wife.
You turn around, the guy looks at you
straight in the eye and says, yeah, I
did it.
What do you do?
You know what the, like 99% of
the guys would say, there's a fight right
there.
Even if I'm not winning, I got to
put up the fight.
At least in front of my wife, I
got to put up a fight, even if
I don't want to.
You know what this guy said?
He said, I wouldn't really do anything because
it would be bad for Dawa.
Like how bad have you been completely effaced?
Why don't you trust your gut?
Trust your gut and go with the fitra.
If not, take it by transmitted from people
with more experience than you.
That has to be a fight right then
and there, not thought about, not with words.
He used actions.
Actions are going to be repelled with actions,
not with words.
And I've done it too.
I've done it.
That's why I'm very proud of it.
I had three fights.
One ended up physical, two actually, second one
was just, I just walked in their direction.
They went the other way.
The third one, it was one-on-four
in Baltimore, right?
In Baltimore, right?
On one of those nice boardwalks in Maryland
by the Oriole Stadium and stuff.
It's a gorgeous area.
Everyone goes there for vacation and these three
guys made a comment.
So I started walking in their direction, not
having a clue what's going to go on.
It's one-on-three, right?
Four.
Four.
Four guys.
I started walking in their direction, one-on
-four.
I had no clue, but I knew I
had to do something, right?
All the kids were little.
I couldn't take Ayub with me.
But ultimately, at the end of it, luckily
some other guys intervened.
But I noticed I'm walking towards them.
They're walking away because they know they did
something wrong.
Although there's no match here.
It's four guys and one, right?
I'm walking towards them.
They're talking, they're yelling, right?
And I'm just walking towards them, but they're
also going backwards.
They know they don't want to pick this
fight because they were in the wrong, right?
Because of what they said.
Then luckily they ended up walking into a
restaurant.
And then the restaurant manager, they were all
white.
The restaurant manager was black.
I'm like, okay, I'm good, right?
Because I know he's going to side with
me.
And he did, right?
And he did.
And the restaurant manager got in their faces,
what are you doing, right?
You're not going to be assaulting our customers
here and all that, even though I wasn't
even a customer.
He thought I was a customer, right?
Point being, this is how it has to
be.
And it is, whether you like it or
not, you don't have to like it.
No one is born into these awkward situations.
But the male nervous system must adapt to
it.
The male nervous system, you must swallow it
and force it on yourself.
You must force it on yourself.
Even physically, you may lose these fights.
You're not going to act like a tough
guy, like you're going to go and beat
these fights, these guys up.
And even this one is not going to
happen.
This one, it's going to be bad.
But it has to be done.
And that's honestly one of the things that
needs to be talked about.
It needs to be talked about, how to
be in those situations.
Because you know those situations, you want to
look at it, it's the right thing to
do.
Your fitra says you should do it.
Your book says she could do it.
But let me give you another practical thing
about it.
You basically will be king for the next
year, right?
As long as that thing is remembered.
Like you did your job.
You actually did it.
It's not just protector in name.
You actually did it.
You're going to be rewarded very well in
life when you behave like that.
I got a business idea.
You got a business idea?
You go hire some goons, right?
I'm telling you, listen, if you're a young
man and you just got married, go find
some goons, give them 50 bucks each, and
have them come pick on your family and
you chase them away.
Tell them that's the job, right?
Put a mask on if you're worried, right?
And have a guy come and shake your
wife's bag.
Listen, I'll run and take your wife's bag.
Exactly.
And then run after the guy, right?
Tackle him, punch him in his back a
little bit.
It doesn't really hurt.
And then the guy runs away.
And you start screaming at him and yell,
don't you ever come back here, right?
All of a sudden, you're going to be
the king, right?
I know what happens for real, though.
This is the opposite of starboard.
I personally hold to the fact that a
man has to do a lot of things
that he does not want to do, that
he hates to do.
And a woman should never be asked to
do those things.
That's our religion.
That's what I said, traditional, right?
That's our religion.
If you look at our law, we can
deduce back or we can figure it out
backwards.
When we figure it out backwards, when the
Sharia says, she's born into a house, she
doesn't have to worry about anything.
Her dad takes care of her.
Then she goes to her husband's house.
From there to her husband's house, she doesn't
have to worry about anything.
So there, her Sharia does not want her
carrying these heavy burdens.
Now, she may end up carrying heavy burdens
in life.
Raising kids is a heavy burden.
Being a Muslim is a heavy burden.
Staying married is a heavy burden.
A lot of heavy burdens, but certain burdens,
no.
The burden to earn money, the burden to
protect my body, the burden to protect my
kids physically, that's not there, right?
That is not something that Sharia puts upon
them.
This is exactly why the Prophet ﷺ said
that failed will be a people.
What is the exact wording?
وَلَّوْ أَمْرَهُمْ إِمْرَأًۭا What is the, find me
the exact wording.
Allah does not give victory to a people
who put their affairs on the back of
a woman.
Yeah, think about that.
وَلَّوْ أَمْرَهُمْ They took their affair, their obligation
and put it on a woman's back.
That is in what?
In earning and protecting.
Not in other things, right?
If it's not in, if it doesn't entail
earning and protecting.
Things that have risk, things that have hardship,
right?
Ruling a nation, we got to go to
war, right?
Why are you putting that on her back?
Especially back in the old days, today it's
just like, you're not going to actually be
in the war, right?
But you still have to make the decision.
You still have to rule, you still have
to lead.
So where there is earning, where there is
protection, could you imagine back in the old
day a tribe comes out and the leader
has got to be in the face of
the army, right?
You're going to put up a woman, okay,
whose wife are you putting up?
That's someone's wife, whose mom are you putting
up?
And that husband's accepting it.
In his own house, if a thief were
to come in, he goes, not her, in
the house.
How about the nation?
Like, how does it make any sense?
How does it make any sense?
Where it comes to earning and protecting.
So that's why I said, those are the
traditional ways.
Traditional is not even the right word, that's
the sharia, that's it.
But it's got to also be flexible too.
Where in our world these days, life is
not going to be like what it was
for the grandparents.
You know, the Ahnaf limit that hadith to
the Khilafah only.
لَن يُفْلِحَ قَوْمٌ وَلَّوْ أَمْرَهُمْ إِمْرَأَةٌ A group
of men, a group of people will not
succeed when they put the obligations that Allah
put upon them onto a woman.
Thief comes out the door, husband, wife, four
kids are sitting there.
What do you do?
Wife, go, you get it, I got the
last thief.
That doesn't work like that, right?
So if that's not the case in the
home, is it lawful for a man to
say, I earned the last 10 years, I'm
going to take a break, I'm going to
relax, you work for the next 10 years
and earn for our family.
Is it lawful in Islam?
So it's earning and it's protecting.
It's not lawful in a home.
Is it lawful in anything bigger than a
home?
That's the purpose of this hadith.