Shadee Elmasry – Hikam Class #5 on Solitude
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While.
Many different environments,
manifests in many different environments.
The first one
first environment is the original
one yours
is dominated by private sector massage. That's good news. The
other environment is academic, academia,
and academia, many of
which we talked about, namely, that list that we gave, for
example, we said that knowledge in the academy is not meant
for practice. It's not software spiritual purposes.
You go to the cat and
you go to the university knowledge is not sought to be practiced. In
cipher almost every other reason except practice, can you
suffering over every other reason except practice?
We seek knowledge for practice, to apply. And if you're going to seek
knowledge, for practices sake, for the purpose of application, then
you must seek out a trustworthy, acceptable source to begin with
right or off common sense, right?
Common sense. So that's point number two, and university, you
approach the class with any sense of it. Most importantly,
skepticism, you approach your professor with skepticism to
challenge them to push him right, to challenge him to find holes in
his talk, right.
As well as to learn another thing, but achieved
ethic in the academy is skepticism.
On the chief ethic in traditional religious study, is trust
is trust. We are dealing then assess who is trustworthy, and
then can take everything they say, once someone is deemed to
trustworthy,
doesn't lie about learning, we take.
So these are differences between the Academy and
the second
set, symbiosis.
University all these are wide outside of the distance outside of
management. So you can go into biology with the skepticism, you
don't have to love your professor, you don't have to trust him. But
you need to
have those leaders when you're studying. Trust, skepticism,
trust,
practice.
Now, let's go to
another point is online.
Islam is online. This is another world.
And it's a very nasty and aggressive world filled mostly
with people or not.
The majority of people who are operating online are a minority of
Muslims who are actually not attending.
Online, this is a whole nother world.
And then lastly, you have organization, organization, wars,
planning, all that stuff. And that's a whole nother keep those
almost corporate environment sometimes. But ultimately, all of
these three, Academy online
organization
can if they are artists, handled properly, they will serve the
truth. And if they're not artists properly, right, and they control
an individual.
So how do we balance all those things by being an artist in the
massage to be dominant over our presence and all these other
things?
The message label is what's really going to benefit you
more than anything else. So you have to always ask yourself is my
right is always on in this conferences.
There's a very different feeling and you're learning
and you're learning in a very different view.
company has never seen anyone taking themselves out adjusting
their best beam or getting to come to a masjid. It's a lot more
humble.
And that's why actually a lot more spiritual.
So we have to isolate and figure out these different environments
and realize that the truth truly is in the house of lies.
That's where the truth is. And that's where a lot of gains is.
And that's where the true benefit is. And that's where you want to
be now.
And waste How do you want your end of your life to be, start
practicing that now. If you want to the end of your life, that you
are a man
and a man,
and to be away from the distractions, the whole world wide
web and distractions and all you want to stretch, and that's how
you should want to die. You don't want to die upon wasting X 4567
hours of your day,
you want to die in that period. So, solution is
acting upon this now capabilities and what is the one of the best
way
what are the best ways
is all of those things that they were sending out.
They were nice by day, they use the dunya. And they strive and
they conquered by de
amongst by them.
And therefore if we can be
split our day to
really we could split it into
such that we're fully engrossed in the Dubai day.
But once the hits just like anything violent, an online course
nine to five
after 5pm
We have to control because Allah has tested us with a tribulation
Jas
Allah subhanaw taala.
Quran tells us that he sends to do soldiers and the soldiers of Allah
to test us. And how does he describe the soldiers? agenda just
literally means it snakes within the homes?
What is it that snakes within Congress?
What is naked in our homes today are all the wires connecting us to
the World Wide Web? Cable TV and our wildlife is literally
sneaking.
Right?
This is the fitness
Mama says this is a bigger, bigger today than anything else. And that
Congress this is the real player.
Whoever conquers the temptation, okay, to spend their time on this.
He actually is real violent today.
He said these people want to be murderers, they don't need to go
and bomb themselves upon themselves up.
They need to protect themselves and their families from this snake
that is in the hospitals. That is taking the knife from the
entire evening used to be slept in what something calming, something
will come towards your soul. And something that would let you sleep
so that you could wake up
for the engine of profession. But no, we have today is a snake that
is tempting us and actually causing people to sleep actually,
on a normal basis.
And you're missing to the missing person. And on top of that anyone
who can imagine working,
the vast majority of brain activity at night is slower.
If you want to study, you're better off to sleep early morning
or the night and wake up afterwards.
And study in brain activity better. rested and I even had a
doctor when I got was doing this also in my speeches from
experience. Okay, so I was writing to work, and I needed to finish
that deadline. So my writing my day was really beginning to make a
big thing of coffee and work until 3:45am. Then I began to fall
asleep in the car and your policy. I thought I had narcolepsy. This
is a sickness right? It's a significant
performance if I was convinced 101st question the doctor asked
describe your sleep habits
wake up, you will pop up my business really have to get
everyone to sleep and awake. Okay? Quiet that's when I really started
to work five six hours straight
for five hours straight.
So, this is why is this your brain is not nourished properly the
nourishment has to come first
right. So, from the experience
so, this is my just some affirmations because we need to
look into when
he recited to them to get to
where you are looking into
the book, wisdom, what is the reason? Why this message, right?
How to apply it? How are we going to learn to apply it when you
never tried never made mistakes? Okay, we have to try make
mistakes, and then you learn these things don't work, and they're not
good advice. Okay. And there's not many the university is a lie, a
sham and probably one out of 100 of the professors were doing it
or doing it very few of the professors in Islamic Studies.
Most of them are
have adopted the liberal framework and are looking at everything.
Okay. Secondly,
no, no online is very stressful consistence This is very
similar, but just because that doesn't exist, okay. There is but
there is some benefit as long as everything has
to be very careful.
And our evenings
are seminar.
Okay, so today
is to show that I am
getting the
ticket.
You desire that people know your particular jurisdiction is approve
of insincerity.
There were
two were servers that were too much. One was a farm.
One was a farm.
And he became very,
he started noticing that very well. And he started to become
very well taken care of by his heart. And he was so good.
The other was a little. Okay. And they also did well.
But he wouldn't say he would go home and come back and go home and
the one who stayed exceeded was a foreigner. So we stayed in this
group, the chef
is about to go home.
When he went home, it was a miserable failure.
And
he was miserable.
And the other day, do well.
They both returned to meet up.
What was the reason that one day well,
the one who was with the shape the whole life? He I thinking in the
back of his mind. I'm doing so good. Wait until everyone sees me
when I come back. That's what
I'm doing. So good.
Wait, so I go back to August.
So what was that? This was hidden react.
Because in his mind, one of the motives in his art was the
response of people to his body when he was back. This is India.
So he was an abject failure when he got back because Pylea has very
little
and it's not something you put on your CV. Right? It's very little
to show. Right? It's very there's very little to show about
having a stable about as
he went back,
almost
no one's treating him any differently. So he started getting
upset, okay, and he failed.
The other one.
Every day he went back to his family.
So he got used to not being looked at as a good deal. So that little
bit himself
And the other one, which was saying, way to a consumer like
that, right? Wait till everyone sees how I've changed now, you
have to actually ask yourself Is that going on in my mind?
In India?
This is this is how it is prioritized say online will
approach you.
So suddenly more subtle than a black egg on a smooth black rock
on a dark night.
Can you hear the footsteps of a small black and black rock?
You cannot even see by shape. And that's how
you start to think to yourself, when you start changing, the first
thing, you start to think as I'm changing all my old friends and
the people that are maybe you had a bad experience with them.
Otherwise, you start thinking, okay.
All my old stuff, right? They're still doing that stuff that we
were doing an awful pass that they're still doing that stuff
that we were doing in college. And they don't even understand what
this is thinking seeps into people all the time. That's what happens.
He goes back to them with arrogance. And therefore he
cannot.
You cannot benefit people when you are an artist.
Okay, he fails.
benefit, because
this is a big problem. And the students of knowledge. We all sort
of
conservative some people got over it real quick. Some people never
telling you there are people who have studied 15 years, 15 years,
and they were like declare the most knowledgeable of the American
students. Right. And you look back,
a decade has passed since they've come back than
normal.
Why they approached people waiting for a red carpet to be put out.
Right? Well,
that's the reality of the situation, which we have to learn.
They expect the red carpet to be put out. Because they in their
head, their accomplishments are so badass, right? are so great. So
when you when you deal with people, and you expect to write it
out, right? How are you going to actually
interact? How are you going to know their stakes? Right?
If the sisters get another table, you could just take
another table.
Okay, how are you going to benefit people? If you don't know that?
There was a woman
in Egypt, she died. Actually they should maybe a decade ago.
She was considered one of the nominee.
She was an old woman. And she used to spend she used to limit their
clothes.
And she had an apartment like right next door. And she would
stay in her apartment basically locked out for like two or three
days that she would basically come out. And she would sit. And if she
wasn't teaching knowledge.
She was just
she was a spiritual, she would heal him.
Which is like healing. Make your artist an inspiration to people
come out to people at this talk. And this woman, her biography as
as she was married to her father was a chef.
That's how she began.
Her she married. Obviously, your father's sugar was anything. She
married one of the woods right at
Marian auto to one of the most.
So her father in the shed and her husband is the next.
Right. Next system. Right? So this is how she grew up. This is how
she lived her whole life. Then, something very strange happened in
her life.
Something happened, her husband died
it's somehow it so happened that she married another man. And this
was a
he was an absolute bone.
How does it that a daughter of the shaved wife of the
right ends up marry
the second half of your life apart from the right, like how does that
even happen? It just so happens. Allah will allow me to have
All right. And she lived with this man.
Seven years.
That allows
him and she she separated.
Now from her biography, but she didn't write that support
narrative. And they really like she said, Allah azza wa jal caused
that to happen. Because as a daughter was, like,
I don't know.
How are you going to actually know how normal people
and probably the guy in her world is?
Probably not normal. Like goes to work? He comes home, he expects
like some,
you know, some pop thing
on the stove, right? This is what normal people do. Like, obviously,
in this lab, the storage location.
People know that. We know that
should never be coming in his house and say, Why is there a
product scope? Right? Because he knows that she has an obligation.
Okay? Well, this guy is that guy, right? It comes home while they're
on the stove.
Okay, so she's got to put a pot on the stove, she doesn't realize
that 99% of the women in existence, this is their
existence, right? So she puts a pot on the stove. Instead of doing
it all day, she's got to worry about the problem. So, right. And
that's how she spends her day. Now, when you spend your day like
that you're not happy. Right? So what do you do to alleviate this
exhaustion, is to turn on the TV to alleviate this misery. You
start gaining some weight, you start getting addicted to these
shows. Downward tumbling starts spiraling starts to happen. Well,
that's how most people live. How are you going to help lift those
people if you don't know how they alive how that cause this rating
will lead you to spend a number of years with the successes, then the
man again, the all of them, they have standards of cleanliness.
Students have knowledge for this guy, he works when he wants a
pile. Why would you take a shower is sweating is not as unkempt is
getting perfect. Right?
This is a reality. Right? So this is how she's learning.
When you sleep No, I think I made so much
in front of the TV. No thank you know, sitting together how
acknowledge we are taught to province I send them every day
without sitting
for a period of time after so lots of Asia until they both went to
sleep. So that she would talk and get anything out of her system to
him as the Sun Belt that the chips are bigger. All of his brains
checked, I think of all the students in London, many of them
were doing
that every day. You don't know what you're getting physical.
Right? You just watch she wants to talk about.
Right? If she wants to talk about something that you're not
interested in.
Many of the brothers
they have hard time news.
So that will be taught now most people don't have
the behavior of us scholarship in our corporate life. And it should
be a better life and advanced. Allah says Are they the one who
knows?
And he said who has real true fear of Allah, the scholars, and the
province said who is underpad of activists, scholars, right
knowledge gives you happiness, emphasis on cleanliness, emphasis
on listening, emphasis on giving gratitude for everything people
do.
So she then learn the ways of the people see finally a lot right,
the director of Western
and now she goes on relocating. Fortunately, that's the majority.
Okay, so the point of all this was that removal from the people often
times is oftentimes needed to benefit. But you have to be
careful that when you withdraw from people, you're going to be on
a track and they're on their labor stagnating and your story. You
have to be good enough to do that. But you have to be careful.
Korea as a company when you say because people are still spending
the Friday nights
and nights others
that
okay
because you cannot benefit people. So you have tasted out.
Let's take another example from the FDA, which Debbie which
probably
could not benefit the people who fail to understand them put him in
a very bad situation and interested.
Jonas Jonas are s&m was a prophet who grew up in the temple working
serving Grace inconvenient no life cycles, I look at something okay?
That Allah sent him to Nineveh
he went there he spent half a day giving gallop, I did not
understand why nobody gets it. He didn't understand why nobody gets
it. Right. So he said, These people are the worst people
that Allah diligently Chase, as a punishment, people think it's a
punishment.
To the profits market punished. Profits can potentially be a
booklet of punishment, but it's education, right? Allah complete
certainty education, you got swallowed by a whale. So where is
the state of darkness is cold is miserable state of darkness?
He didn't like it.
Right? So Oh, Jonas, you did not like physical darkness. So what
about spiritual darkness? What would you do for someone to take
him out of spiritual darkness? Right? So it was a metaphor for
him?
He came out and then what does it lead to others? Immediately the
people on the second drive, they all converted? Why did they all
convert 100,000 or more?
100,001 person converted 100,000 pagans. Why? Because he
understood their darkness that they're in the coldness that
they're in here empathize, therefore they can. That's all it
means some empathy. Okay, so this is why we have to empathize with
the people understand where they're coming from. It's very
tricky, because you cannot see them. Right? You cannot stay
there. You have to get out of them.
You always remember what it's like vitamins
now, how do we use it give us an x ray about the lake
Well, I'm clearly mad at
me, man. Looking at you this year, I pondering these are the things
that's discretionary. With God's looking at you slip away from
their approach to you by concentrating his approach.
Very simply,
very simply,
whenever we're in a situation with people, that is awkward or tricky,
we get out of that situation of awkwardness and become very clear.
by imagining and bringing it to present not the magic into
reality. Bring your need to presence that allows
Okay, and when you are in the presence though, so it is watching
you Everything changes
everything, the entire
process of doing acts of worship
prostrate, extended fasting all of the those big a bit of all of
these processes of worship
are to teach your heart to remember that Allah is watching
and once you're in that state, your advancement is that you now
it doesn't take you so long to get to that state. What does it mean
to prioritize
thinking help me remember you. Okay, help me remember
what your tongue needs help.
Reality is by doing that
by sitting down for your women, everyone should
we give some of these books out in
Grantham should be seen said every night.
You do the word would you do?
You are putting yourself in a state that allows
some people say
you should realize greater
Salah is so important.
But Victor is there to prepare you, first of all, to make yours a
lot better than you realize
how this state of mind needs to be placed on instant rate of speed
dial, you need to put on a screen such that in any given awkward
situation, you bring that state of mind to presence, and you apply at
that moment, that awkward situation, you'll be able to do
the right thing. So when you are being questioned by someone,
and you have to tell the truth, okay? Got to tell the truth.
Sometimes the truth is very hard. If you witnesses, your colleagues
in the hospital stealing, right.
And then you're called to court, because you're on the same staff,
and you work the same hours, you can't lie. And that's actually a
true story. One time I was in Bangkok, and there was a guy
there. And he was a dream of
this man, and he, a man came to him one day a nurse. And he said,
I had a dream that someone gave me nothing. All right. So what is it
the meaning of this dream? So dream interpretation. Either you
can go into the Quran person, for the references, or you go into the
anatomy.
We go into the popular culture, and you go to the references, or
you go to the language, right, that word, local, is it close to
any meeting? So the shift the man, it wasn't able to say that it was
a process that he said, and you're going to be involved with this at
some point. So you need to talk to him. But he said, How did you get
that from a bottle of oranges? He said, Because oranges did not
exist.
So it's not
right. And it's not another reference either. So I just kept
saying to myself,
which is the word for boring, it's actually kind of,
like Portugal is founded from so the Arabic is
a kind of setting. And
so finally, I realized the closest meaning to that, and it's good to
write, truth is to be said, so I can only be you're gonna get
compliments. So later that week,
he was called to witness and that happened out of medical medicine,
from the hospital for that works on the union. And he had to
testify against this topic.
If he could not testify as to committee doesn't make the same
calls.
Zum
zum.
So how are you going to do you need a presence of mind when
you're in the thick of must come to you, you must bring that
presence of mind when you did the situation.
Now he says now, let's say you did mention it, remember, according to
the ethic, we would call ethical theory, right? I would like to
figure out given our bar and he said it in multiple places. One of
the most dangerous places to me is spiritual success.
So when you're in a situation of spiritual success, and the people
that will look at you, how are you going to repel the praise of
people by simply remembering
by simply remembering
those funny, and he lows, the people who have high opinions of
themselves, and he loves the lonely, he loves. He loves the
simple. And as always taught us a branch of arrogance is fake
humility.
Right. Alma taught us fake Humility is a branch of Americans
think there was a young man 77 Okay.
To use to start walking like this to the best, right.
Right. Talk very softly.
It's a senior to subordinates interested.
And I walked in looked at him and he's the young guy.
So he struck him on his back.
Right and then he said tuck was here. I hear you're working like
as if you're an alpha. That's about to die. Right.
Talk right. Speak normally, when you
With people if you're hungry, Amara, Allah was described, when
he was hungry.
He ate, he had no shyness to eat.
And many people, they also want to have a pioneer
meaning
is the same.
All I was described when he spoke, you heard him when he talked, when
he was hungry, he ate, he was the most pious one amongst us.
So,
this is the thickness.
Piling is another one of the branches. And
so when people are praising you remember watching, Allah knows,
what else? Does the Quran remind us to have piety?
To have humility? What does Allah say about Mesa, and many others?
And all of us say, apply this to yourself? What does the law say
about yourself as a mother, who people worship,
the causes?
That they used to walk in the markets, and pick clothes? What is
the most popular thing that people get from the marketplace? Like
clothes and food? So you have operated haptics, right. And when
you eat food, what happens?
So you go to the bathroom, and you're naked, right? When you're
naked, you become very proud of yourself, unless you're one of
those people, right? But even if you're one of those people, by the
time you hit 40, when you're taking it out, right?
You're not looking that great. No matter what happens, Allah made it
there is no cure for old age, right? As much as they try to
search for one, there'll be number of your old age. And if they find
a cure for old age, they will have to find a cure for depression.
Because the people who are going to be rich enough to take the cure
for old age and go on living until they're 20 years old. Well, not
everyone's gonna have that medicine. So you're gonna have to
watch when your friends died. I didn't say I need a cure for
depression. I mean, they made a simulated, what would it be like
for someone to have a cure for old age to the point that like his
30s, his 20s, last 20 years, or 20 years is 3020 years so that he's
actually in his 20s for 20 years, and he's in his 30s for another 20
years. So he's very young until he died at the age of like 200 a
simulated and found that chances are he's going to be very
depressed. Because number one things to do in life.
You will have finished the way
you will, there will be new things about the development of life.
Right that has, so you have finished everything there is to do
my eighth one. skydiving, scuba diving, going to the Super Bowl,
you will have done all that stuff. Okay. So by age 100. Now, what
else is gonna start happening? Washington,
right, all your friends gonna die. So now when you a friend, someone
new, you're not going to invest?
Because in your past, and when you love DOD. So they actually said
that the first person in this hypothetical cheating death
experiment, the first person to live up to two engineers, all
right, unless everyone else is living. What's your taping?
Because people want to cheat? Well, okay, they want to live a
longer life. What is life? It's relative, right? What's everyone's
living? 200? And what's the big deal? Right now it's relative. So
if you live longer than everyone else, you're not going to invest
relationships towards your life, because you're gonna see that
they're gonna die. So they actually said it's actually a big
disaster, and that the best life is to actually live right? The
same game as everyone else. Okay, so the humanity and humanity are
at peace in terms of developments, innovations, and at the same time,
you know, what's going on?
So, what will we even say that we got to this point?
So, what else?
So this fake humility being by we were talking about, okay is
your undoing by remembering a lot out there saying or watching as
you get old, and when your clothes are off, knows who you are for
real? Don't forget anymore. You are that person
who comes out of the shower and doesn't want to look in the
mirror? Because
that's who you are. And you are that person who has to go to
the to Allah has honored that he has veiled
Are people from that area? And you are that person who wakes up
looking at smelling miserable. That's who you are. Why is there
no show?
Us? There's no show
us I see you in the window. I want you going to show off.
When are you going to show up
it's not showing up.
This is why people can see each other for seven years and live
together for one thing they don't like.
Because in marriage, everything is stripped. All these fails
formalities are stripped down
in your pajamas, turning in bed, waking up and smelling bad.
Looking hard. is zero. They even made a movie about a woman. She
was so embarrassed,
before husband clean up and they go back.
So why am I saying this? Remember who you are? Allah azza wa jal
said they used to walk in the marketplace. Eat food. So
remember, you have these you're an Indian person. If you are an
Indian person, you should not have cable. Why does Allah have
chemical a lot is about to have given
us an arrogance is my action to believe He's superior than
everyone else is attribute of a lot because he is you are not
security. You are someone who needs
a small
thing of toothpaste and a small toothbrush is removed from your
own your head
or you can do what right? You're in crisis mode. You're finished
this little
little thing of toothpaste, toothbrush control, you're in
control, you're in control.
Allah azza wa jal wanted to teach a kingdom lesson one time
so the king was making over
a lot of cars that came to choke
and it so happened that the only one who had a cup of water was
that money
so as he's choking, and asked me for a cup of water
he said to the police after the game, which
you're monitoring
your monarchy would you pay for this cup of water as he's dying?
He said yes, it was a
drag and he was relieved.
So when he says
how cheap it is that he will trade it at this moment for a couple
so don't mean it because you don't want it right. You will
okay for a cup of water
this is don't forget who you are to make you humble.
Next thing is
come a day again good
luck
does have a lot
to do with what she associated with
likewise.
Dealing with which to do from multiple purposes, okay. It's not
accepted. Likewise, the harder that has multiple loves
Allah azza wa jal Good luck
enter into that arc with his
with his love
and therefore a more pure way
how do we know this to test? How do I know if my heart loves more
of it?
And of course you can love other things right? The precise opposite
I love women refuse to take
my art was
how do we know if our art isn't that situation?
Our art is
in that situation where Islamic allies are more than anything
else.
I mean,
it's a very simple test. What a thinker of a lot come
When something good goes, when we sacrifice that thing, other thing
that we love.
So for example, you love, for example, say something.
And then the your, your,
your friends that you love more that you pray on time?
Or do you love more than that matter, or prohibition?
Okay, like a job, you love the jobs, love this job, they're
offended if they give you the people that you work with, which
actually do now there's a problem, right? They're asking you to self
work, or advertise online,
bring it up, and say that you're not gonna do it, or that you can
do it.
Right, you just got to do it. So get the tests in everything that
you start to love allow, eventually a test, you will throw
it in test.
And if you pass the test, then your love for that thing is not
going to.
And what's the best example?
Profitable Ibrahim and he loved us made so much.
He should obviously this May this is inheritor just my name is also
a property.
But Allah azza wa jal wants to show us teachers that no matter
who you are, whatever you will allow the customer through a
testing,
testing, if you choose that, or you choose.
Okay, you choose that.
Okay, and it tested without explicit,
explicit test. Now, a lot of times were tested with our loved ones
and the different ones
were tested in the sense that,
okay, we're tested in the sense that sometimes you love your son
so much, or your daughter, or your husband or your wife, and they
start doing something wrong. And you need good advice. But some
people are so soft towards their family, they don't have the guts
to advise, or their family starts doing wrong, and they don't have
the stomach. And I would say you don't have to,
you don't have enough time
to correct the situation, right? Fix it.
You are tested with their kids more than you're tested with
yourself. If you cannot pass the test with yourself more desperate,
okay, you're a kid, you love your daughter so much. Okay, she's
starting to go straight. And most of the girls are gonna stray
through, you know, these social media things
that go straight.
And he's noticing the girl is just shaking her phone as part of her
hand.
And if you take it away, you can't ask them. If you'd asked her to
put it down a little bit your friendship potential. So you're
very delicate, right? Sometimes you
do what's up with your dog?
This is an attention number one. Number two, you're afraid you're
afraid of euro euro bonds. This is going to harm right? This constant
addition, right?
And then they change over time. They change from these things. So
we are tested.
But when do I know?
I know this thing is truly harmful. Right? What do I love
more The truth is
the truth more than any individual, right?
And this is why the matter of command. Right and for getting
wrong. It will develop the video.
Something in your personality has a little bit of sin in your
personality. And we all need a little bit of sin and we just need
something will happen naturally. Right? But some people need to
develop it, you got to do it. You just gotta do it. You're gonna let
your kid go straight, then where's your bed? You can't let them go
straight. Simple as that. Right? That habit is one thing strays and
others. Right? So you got to bring these subjects.
You got to find a way to bring it out. And if you don't do this,
then when that person falls along the novice into your job,
be very careful when that person is going astray in whatever thing
okay, and you noticed it and you have been too timid to bring it up
with them. Okay, if they start suffering, the punishment of that
and the bad consequences of that
You're into
the province I send them said you saw command right or wrong? And if
you don't know, then Allah will put this bad thing in charge of
you.
Right?
Okay,
how far away? Can you go to the memory?
Well,
the first person, we're actually doing this as ourselves.
The second thing is, secondly, your dependents,
you are absolutely obligated to command the right or wrong on your
independence.
If you have a kid, right? You have a son or daughter.
The first thing is,
if you want them to learn, and educate, you see if they're gonna
do it by themselves. And their case, they don't. You tell them,
and they're still getting so protected. So they don't.
That's it you are obligated. Like what, for example, if you're good
as an either in his hand, you're going to deal with the end right
away, right?
Okay. But if he is, for example, I don't know whatever it gets to
that's
something
let's say disrespect, disrespect.
You're not going to, you're not going to give a subtle talk, and
hope he gets the message. Right? You're gonna tell him directly, I
swear, you must organize it, you're right next time, he doesn't
do it and
things like that. Now that dependent, next one is your
spouse.
The spouses are close for one another close protection
is protected.
So you start seeing your husband, a lot of what happened to him
starting to see the kids.
And we know that there are four rules that we just type out which
has holes, which is transparent. And that which is excessively,
right cultural culture, that culture, it's unacceptable.
These types of clubs
are acceptable. What are you going to do?
I'll tell you what most of the people do, go do nothing. And they
go back by reference, then they're having psychosis, when he comes,
she will start changing herself. Okay? Because she started
something and he's doing the same work. So find it to be more
impressive. So that will bring up the issue. So so do two roles,
three wrongs, to bring up the issue. So bad my friends, her
friends, start changing herself. Because imagining that she's
competing with some, like some president is
right? Because it's probably just something that maybe it's a total
different reason why he's doing right
so you have to bring up the subject now how you bring up the
subject.
You must bring up the subject, how you bring
some people are more wise than others. And what is the best way
to break out to someone as
was given the Busan
and the gentleman. Why? Because if you give it in a harsh way, it
naturally elicits a reaction that a defense mechanism right? But if
you listen to it in a gentle way, right, it's more effective.
And so this is why they say women were presidents, there wouldn't be
worse because everyone will be speaking with one another that we
all like don't get awards. And this is what they say
this is the point. So now if you care about someone, you should be
getting
your you get a result a friend. And then you see that person goes
astray. And
so that's the answer your question, what ingredients it was
to come up with this. Now, if you need if you don't know people,
what you can do is
just the public or says
the gathering. What about people who
some people do this? Some people do
that
That's how you can do it in a subtle way.
So this all answers the question of how do I know if my love for
something is more than the love of a lot. So it is very simple there
will be
Allah azza wa jal tests in this matter, and the earlier tests
such that this tests will decide if you're truthful, in your love,
Robert.
Give an example.
That's a tough test.
But what we mean in this regard, is that something comes between
you and your loved one that forces you to actually risk or giving up
or losing.
Right? If you are willing to take that because you know what
religions do?
Right to the truth,
then whatsoever happens afterwards, whether the result is
good or bad, you will be protected.
So
approaching family members regarding issues is one of the
most sensitive things. And sometimes
sometimes, to limit the you have to be subtle. And unfortunately,
in our families today, our families are not
even though sometimes it can have a dire secularists as a cousin. So
what do you do in the family gathering? Well, what I like to do
is give out,
send a message early, okay, send a message very early, very early on
in the relationship.
This is, you don't have to say the person directly.
But send the message very early. But this is how I live my life.
This,
these sorts of things, we could just talk about the weather,
or anything, we don't bring up with something because of it. And
any family matters, this is acceptable. It's acceptable, that
you go when you have guests, you're not allowed to bring up
subjects or when you're a guest, you are not allowed to bring them
subjects of disagreement is up to someone to do so the sooner is
when you are a guest or you have guests, right, that you only bring
them subjects to agree upon.
And this is not the purpose. This is the some
outside in the massage on your Facebook posts, and you can say
what you want.
And hopefully no reason, it will never bring up the subject again.
That's how that's as the more we become like artists in the world,
I believe this is the norm. Some people are like, crying because
we're not like
zoom out from the top of the profits from the former Hamas
all the way before remove the small country of Israel, where the
Hebrews were living with the prophets.
Every religious believer was minority. So we know that the
prophesy seven said every people are given doubt, right? Native
American, but the difference between Hebrews that was the
capital of Allah's Center, where is it profit after Providence,
Providence? All right, that was the only religious country right?
Everybody was trying to prophesy into the many province, but not so
many that they were all believers, like one. And then 100 years later
I know so that they will always a minor. In India, the same person
the same Many people believe that zero Western was a problem. Many
people believe that Buddha was a problem
could have been a problem. The Native Americans had their own
provinces.
And we know that information, but there were no problems. So any
product that came was before a certain money anyone came after.
We want to accept that to be a profit. It became after a
guy down in the Aztecs and Mexico and South America and the Colossus
we have in the ninja Americans that they have a concept of what
is called the street pack. This is religious language. That means
they have
somewhere along the line to have a profit
Okay, so all of those believers were one, my arms struggling, just
to keep up.
So we're just like this now. Okay? So we have to be a little
stronger. We can be like back in the day, it was a normal.
Okay, so I would recommend everyone, if you have any family
gatherings. The Sunnah is not to bring a bunch of different if you
see someone is gone about something, and you think it's
dumb, right?
Why this is not some water, bring it up outside, not as a guest, or
in your home, he's your guest, right?
This is the way that we should be living, we should limit our time
with such family members that will grow up and definitely gonna crop
our kids.
But once our kids become
mature, adults, even if they're living on our own, right, all you
can do when they're living in your own dissembles with their body is
you cannot control them. You just have to make
it
used to have to set certain rules, they have a lot of time, you must
get up I don't care if you come in three o'clock. That's correct. At
four o'clock, you're getting up at four o'clock.
In my house, that's okay.
And this is from every mall, if you're paying the bills, you have
the right to set the rules.
And you will mural that you are permitted to make a rule that you
have to stand
sure or behave between.
Okay, so what's the one benefit is if you're standing in the room,
maybe someday, for sure, we'll enter into number two, there are
other people in the house watching this.
So one time there was a guy we were joining here, Dallas, so we
played okay. And this guy, he had the nerve to say to my dad, I
don't pray. Okay.
So my dad said step by
step out, he's
not gonna stay in the house while we have kids. And they need to see
the huge protector. So
sense of the quarter
dollar needs fundamentals. If you live in my house, it means
that you're gonna live this way.
That standard when it comes to the worst case.
And this is why it's always good to have a bad cop and a good cop.
And the wisdom of the
two parents, and the thing should religion have one. Because you
have to put it all at once really,
really good. So the bad cop just sets the rules that the good cop
comes in
once you advance in knowledge, the sign that you don't actually
advanced knowledge, is that the results of your learning breach.
If you want to know where am I in the
beginning phase.
Okay, there's confusion. The middle phase is that it breeds
arrogance at the senior phase.
This is a very minimal timeline. How do I know I'm getting a lot
number one, when you start out you're totally bewildered and
confused and intimidated and scared.
The middle base returns
and this is what they call soft. Soft more means the wise
some soft, okay, that more moral. Okay. So the third phase when
you're actually learning, gaining a lot of knowledge it raise your
hand true knowledge and really becoming a scholar is great. You
know, sigma says, Man I have to say no to that.
If
you do not love a thing, so you become without being its slave,
when you love a thing, you become a slave. Okay? And Allah does not
like for you to be other than to other than endlessly. Allah wants
you to be asleep and therefore again how do we know if our love
for something is breeding slavery or not, it's very simple when you
actually are pulling comes between you and
and you need to sacrifice it.
Okay are limited, then you can come for free and you're loving
that thing is the type of love that is not
nice anymore helpful learning
how you're
in that mode?
Listen
The numbers are the one who hopes for recompense, we're six some
objects to love isn't too
generous
a lover is not the one
this matter is very important in all of our games, all those and we
should
realize that fear that Oh, our means Temporary means
Temporary means
but our demand is truly rooted in truth, knowledge and love
and elevate and Sahara and of course, when the prophesies say
the
names and the Sahaba he must actually know
if you truly like these, then it is
but if you are doing it,
because your parent is forcing you
or because you are desiring something.
And your demand is temporary. And you really don't know.
Okay, you really do not know.
This is one wisdom. Why? Share was found one time with a sub compare
it to
some Googling,
right? Like your son knew how to write
a song. But ask him anything you weren't, you didn't know.
So students were awkward when they brought it up with their students.
They brought it up
current Veritas
is a common was just a company wasn't that's all. So they said
share. Why isn't
anybody who have taught us so much?
Besides
my husband,
he said,
Have you seen him doing something? Is not has escaped?
I said no.
But why? Why don't you potentially him and
he said this because you keep on going. Therefore no matter what I
put on you.
If I bring him, he's coming out of shyness, it matters that fear.
Therefore what I put on him, I do not know if it's gonna stick.
Right? And it's therefore a fear that maybe he will take a look at
shyness or fear that I become upset. And then what are they open
to?
This knowledge and
that is simple.
So I don't want it to be simple. Once rather than taking from
another shed, or after he leaves me come back voluntarily.
That's why sometimes a father can and cannot be the teacher because
he is not taking
you don't know if you take a low res and take it out of fear and
shame, shyness. So therefore even men did not push this something.
And then human capacities house is some will be in and out carrying
baskets with fish, buying and selling fish as soon as looks.
No matter how you cannot demand it to sit for extra knowledge. You
can demand them to take what is offered
Before
now,
so how do we raise our kids, you don't plan on
being engaged with them.
If they have
to see that they are drinking this knowledge that we can give them
one. But between us and our children should be lots of love.
This is why the wise nobody has established so many celebrations.
Go to the swimming pools.
Why? Well not to celebrate. So you're transmitting love.
So you can if you transmit knowledge to the kid, you don't
know if he's taking with truth, or just out of shape, right? So we
transmitted obligatory knowledge then after that celebrations,
thinkers, thinkers and celebrations and procedures
liquidize no celebration for this celebration for that, no one's
gonna have problems with that, right? There's no effort, right?
He will take low, and he will grow up knowing his obligations. And he
will have a lot of love for the team. Don't ever underestimate the
power of love the day the only problem with the people
who are practicing love with the need is when they're not
teaching the fundamentals and they're allowing them
institutions.
I mean, you got some this is why people don't like the subject.
Because there's a lot of the people who do it do it wrong. I
say I want my kids to love. Okay. My brother, your daughter, okay.
Is 18 Her genes are pig eight.
This is haram right? Now I want her to look at, okay,
you come out.
This is how she told me that your priorities you got to
write the column could not be happening in your presence. Right?
Okay, attend to the whole Mellon with this application. Right?
Because she knows the problems that we have these.
Sometimes you see
some of the sisters, so it's very difficult for a woman or a girl to
get away with never planning. Because no one's
going to understand that.
This is the thing, when we talk about love, just don't be like
those people or loses a cancer, a bunch of fluids is really, you
would never marry okay? It's a shame right? Now, once you get to
be like them, they're attending all the mother's clothes, there's
no need and obligations. They don't do anything properly.
It's just it's a bad situation. So we do have what we are doing is
obligatory, but then after that meeting
so the profit notice
and the profit know
what it How does a lead describe
betrayal. So long as they were together, it appeared that they
were. So they were doing everything. But they were actually
hypocrites.
So they were not allowing for for many things to happen. Right? When
the tests came, they immediately went inside of the disbelievers.
And for losing, his wife was with him. She was not doing anything
wrong, but her heart was connecting with the profile. So
she turned back to what she saw for lunch. Right? So we say about
them that those people they weren't on hypocrisy. Their
algorithm was good. Right.
But their environment was like we said,
if someone is living under your roof, you may have the right to
establish strict rules.
Therefore, establish new ones obligatory.
Recommended, what's that? Like? It doesn't mean you're never going to
teach them something recommended. You're going to teach the kid who
said it makes sense.
You're going to teach those things but as it develops into his own,
you're going to demand what is
and just engage after that things.
Hope
negotiated