Salim Morsy – IMRI Community Seerah Halaqah Episode 5
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Today we will continue, Insha'Allah,
in our lecture,
the life of Prophet Muhammad
The,
the book
of
Safiyyid Din al Mubarak Fori.
He's Indian,
and he wrote this he published this book,
you know, for,
the life of prophet Muhammad
The serum
Last time we were talking
about,
when prophet Muhammad,
returned back
with his mom,
with his,
grandfather
after his mom passed away in the trip.
And his grandfather,
took care of him
for almost 2 years.
And after that,
his uncle,
become
a guardian
for him and take care took care of
him for more than 40
years.
And,
Allah
showed everybody,
you know, miracles
happened by prophet Muhammad
like when the
the Jalhama,
ibn Affita,
when he came to Mecca,
and he
narrated the hadith after that,
that,
the uncle of Rasulillahi
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
Abu Dhabi.
You know, people of Mecca asked him, there
is no rain
in Mecca,
and we almost to die.
And just, you know,
ask Allah
to send down the rain.
And he said that,
Abu Abu Talib,
he took
a young
man.
He's talking about Prophet Muhammad
He was a young, and he raised his
hand
and asked Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And he
said, there is no
a single
cloud in in the sky.
But after a while, you know, the the
clouds come come together,
and the rain
came from,
you know, everywhere.
And he this he testified for prophet Muhammad
even
he is non Muslim.
And we were talking also about
the the story
about Bahira al Rahim,
the monk
of the children of Israel.
When his uncle took Prophet Muhammad
with him
in the trip
to Bilad Shey,
and
this monk, he never left his place of
worship and received anyone
except this this,
caravan
because he saw something different.
He saw the trees,
you know, bow
in to to to the this caravan
because prophet Muhammad was
in
this caravan.
And he asked it,
who is who is responsible of this young
man? And they are told him his uncle,
Abu Tali.
And he talked to him
individually
and asked him
to take your
nephew and go back to Mecca. Don't go
in your trip
because
if the monks of
Josh
figured it out, they might kill him.
And he sent him back to Mecca, and
he did not
continue
in the trip.
And
after that, the prophet Mohammed
attend, you know, the war of Al Fuzar,
harbor of Fuzar.
And
also,
it it was between,
Kinane,
and,
Qais Island.
You know, 2 big tribes,
from,
Quraish,
and they started
the war between between them.
The purpose for for that they called Harb
e Fuzar
because it's happened
in the in the sacred month
and also in the Haram.
The Haram, it's not allowed to fight.
Inside the Haram, it's not allowed to
fight in the sacred month, which is the
Al Ashur Haram.
Al Ashur Haram
Rajab
and Vil Ta'adda,
Vil Hijjah, and Al Haram. These are 4
months
it's not allowed
to fight,
except if you unless if you defend
yourself for Muslims
to defend themselves,
but they should not
start,
fighting from their sides, especially in this time
and in this in this place which is
Al Haram.
And he also attended for
Health al Furrul
Health al Furrul, which is a promise
between all the tribes of Mecca
to help,
you know, the the one
who
cannot take his right back.
And prophet Muhammad,
he he
attend
this health,
and
he he explained after that,
I I attend,
at the the house of Abdul Rahim Al
Judhan,
health al Fughul. And he said, if I
have a chance,
you know, to to invite
somebody invite me to this health again in
Islam, I will be more than happy to
accept it. And and this is from Shiyam
Al Akhlaq.
It's a good manner
for people to come together
to support
the weak one and to stop
the oppressor
and
of Wal Amin.
Today, inshallah, we will continue,
and this is very important,
lecture
for all of us. I'm so happy that
we have a big number tonight
to listen
and to study
about
the marriage of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam,
from Khadija.
They've been to Huwailid.
May Allah be pleased with her and all
companions
of Rasulillahi
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Just the the story started
when
Khadija,
Sayeeda Khadija,
she was a businesswoman.
She was very rich,
and she got married twice before Prophet Muhammad
sallallahu alaihi wasallam. And she did not divorce.
She her husband,
they passed away,
and she become a widow.
And
a lot of people in Mecca, they tried
to marry her, but she refused
because
she thought that they are looking at her
wealth, not at her personal,
image.
They most of them,
they're looking for her wealth because she was
rich.
She was wise,
and people try to take advantage.
Like, we have today the same kind of
people. They they like to take advantage of
any opportunity.
Yeah. When they when they try to,
make their own research to find a wife,
they ask it.
Is she rich? Is she beautiful?
Is she has a good a good family?
Subhanallah. And all these matters are good,
but the most important one, the religion.
The religious one, because prophet Muhammad,
commanded us to look about,
you know, religion,
to find the religious
wife,
because she will help you out
like Sayyidina did.
Religious wife
will will make you happy like the hadith
of, prophet Muhammad,
the qualifications
of wife.
Khayru Khayru,
the best,
the best one among
women that prophet Muhammad mentioned. You know, if
you look at her, you will be happy.
And if if you obey her, she will
listen to you.
And if you go out
of your house, she will protect
you and your honor and your your wealth
and your children.
This is how prophet Muhammad
described,
our our our righteous
woman.
And
the story started
when prophet Muhammad
was
25 years old.
Khadija,
she heard
she used to send some people
working for her in her in her
business,
And she heard about
the honesty of prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasalam,
and he's a truthful
man, and he's and he's a very serious,
man.
And she offered him
to go with her her,
wealth or her business, and she will double
him. Whatever she used to give to other
other people working for her, she doubled it
for prophet Muhammad salaw alayhi wa sallam to
encourage him to work for her and
her money. And
she sent with him
her her slave,
Khadimuha,
his name Maysarah.
Maysarah, it came from Yusr, from easiness. And
she told him,
just pay attention
for Mohammed
and see how he he will deal in
my wealth, in my,
business.
She had a plan.
Even before to send him to Bilad Shem
in his business trip, she had a plan.
But she wants to prove something for herself
first.
And this is, subhanallah, it's,
some people will will will say,
you know,
when when when they find
a
a a good wife,
a rich wife,
you know, they they,
hurry up,
you know, to to get married
with
her. But Sayida Khadija,
she was very wise.
She spent
enough time.
Even
prophet Muhammad,
he never ever drink alcohol. He never ever
bow to any statue
or any sunnah.
He never
worship
the idols,
Allah
and he even used to be mad when
when somebody men when somebody mentioned Allah
on front of him,
and she wants to to to prove something
for herself first.
She heard
a lot of positive
about him,
but,
you know,
she want to test him in in the
in the money
because most
the problems
came from
money issues.
When you find the people has have a
money,
you will you will find a lot a
lot of people really rely on them and,
you know,
come closer to them.
Like,
somebody used to say,
This is the natural way. When the people
has a money when the people have money,
you will find a lot a lot
of people will will will come to them
to ask for help.
When the people has a gold have a
gold
or a a silver, you know, a lot
of people would come to ask for help.
And, also,
you cannot judge anyone unless
if you
test
him in money issues first.
When when they say, Omar,
was judging
in the case,
and there is
a person,
nobody knows him.
And he asked, is anyone
really knows that that person to judge for
him? And one man, he raised his hand
and said, I know him. Oh, Amirul, meaning,
I know this. You know? I I saw
him comes to the Masjid every day and
pray with us, and he asked him 3
questions
and paid attention for these questions to be
able to judge
others, to judge people. And he asked him,
did you deal with him
in the money matters?
Did you sell to him something, or did
you buy something from he said no.
And he this is the second question.
Did you go any trip with him?
Because when you go on trip,
this is the the the real test
to
appeal good manners or bad manners of the
the person, the traveler,
because you will have different
environment
than the the one that you always live
in it.
And he said no. And the 3rd question
he asked him, are you are you his
neighbor that you know his maghal and his
maghrat who comes to him and who leaves
his house?
Do you know his friends?
Are you living next next door to know
who's the friend of him? He said no.
And Sayid Omar told him, you do not
know him
because you did not answer any question of
these three questions.
And if you would like to judge somebody,
you have to deal with him first in
the money issue
to buy something from him or to sell
something to him to see how he will
react to you.
And this is was the big reason for
Sayeda Khadija
to
understand more about
Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. She sent him
to work for her and her money. That's
it.
And she did not say anything.
Right. And the second reason,
if you go on trip,
you will be able to judge
the person
because
if he went in trip with you and
he did not change
his characteristics,
means it's good
because it doesn't matter for him. If if
you deal with him in in the,
in the in his town or if you
deal with him in the trip, it doesn't
matter. He's the same person.
And the third one, you know, your neighbor,
you will know a lot about him more
than anybody else
because you will see who will come to
to visit him, good people or bad people.
You will see
who who who's coming
into your into into his house, and you
will be able to judge,
is he good or bad.
And Sayid Al Khadija chose him to take
her money and go to Bila al Isha,
and she sent her
her servant,
his name Mysar, with him just to help
him out and to serve him, but she
had other plan.
She asked her servant, you know, look at
him, see how he he will deal
with other people, how he will protect my
money.
Does he care
to protect my money or
he doesn't care?
If this is your own money, you will
be very careful
to protect
it. But if you
work for somebody else, you know,
most of people, they don't care,
and this is very, very important.
And when he returned back
from Bila al Sham from Syria,
you know, she found
a lot of,
prophets,
a lot of benefits
for her her money.
And she asked her servant,
what do you think about Muhammad?
And he told her
that
she's very honest.
She's very intelligent.
She's very you know, he he count a
lot a lot of good manners
about prophet Muhammad. She felt it before, but
she wants to make sure
that her feeling is correct.
And her servant, Maysarah,
proved that for her.
And
she
shared
the opinion
that she had in her in her mind
before with her friend, her name Nafissa,
Bent Menba.
She told her, really I'm interested
to marry
Muhammad
sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
And
Nafeesah,
she took the word from from her tongue,
and she went to prophet Muhammad
He was 25
years old.
Young
man,
peace be upon him.
And she
expressed
the feeling of Khadija,
to
him, and she was hap he he was
happy with this
good news,
you know, for for,
most of of of young people,
especially in the beginning of their life,
they wish to marry,
a wise
a wise,
woman,
a rich woman, you know, honored woman.
And and Sayyidina Khadija,
she gathered all these good manners in her
life.
And
when he got news that Sayyidina Khadija interested
to marry him,
and he shared with his uncle
right away,
and they were happy.
Because in the tribe system,
you know, it's when you when you really
have a son,
you can feel it more back home, not
here.
Back home, you know, the entire village,
you know, will will will receive the announcement
that the son of this man will get
married of the kareema of
other other other men, and
the the entire village, sometimes the entire zed
city,
will will be informed
about the celebration or the wedding or the
marriage,
and it's good system,
back there.
They announced
and they,
prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, gave her
a dowry,
Shrina Bakhra.
Bakkra means
bakkra.
It's bakkra but
bakkra.
20 bakkra.
Did somebody say something?
Background in Arabic language,
the sheikh camel.
Background.
Young sheikh camels.
A 20 20 camels
as a dowry for her, sadaq,
umar.
This is Amharaha,
sheikh
Kamens. This is Al Mahrabbah,
and they,
they they had a wedding, and
all these
that what what that I I I,
explained as introduction for our lecture tonight.
Our main lecture
did not start yet.
My point today,
just to clarify
the relationship
or the the
the the successful
marriage
between prophet Muhammad and
his wife Khadija
been to Huwailid
This is main main point for us tonight,
successful
marriage
of prophet Muhammad
and Asaydah Khadija
bintuqwailib.
He was 25 years old.
She was 40
years old.
She was,
older than him 15 years.
It's not a shame
even if the person,
married
a a a older woman than him. Nothing
wrong with that.
But
he must
looking for,
you know,
a a a good purpose
for that marriage.
It's not because she is rich
or she is a a beautiful.
No.
Because she is a religious
woman,
it's okay for that because
Allah will help them out to understand each
other and to, love
one Allah will help them out to understand
each other and to,
love one another
and to have peace of mind in their
life. And this is what happened for prophet
Muhammad
You know,
Sayid Al Khadija,
there is a lot of virtues of Khadija,
she's a unique example
for a good wife,
unique example,
To give us
a good
characteristics
of
a good wife.
Only
the wife that prophet Muhammad
has children from her,
Sayida Khadija.
He did not have children from all his
wives,
except
Ibrahim,
peace be upon him.
He was
from Asaydah Mariam Al Kaptayyah.
But from his wives,
he did not have any other children
except from Asaydah Khadija.
All the children of prophet Muhammad from
Assayd Khadija
except Ibrahim,
Arabi Allahu Anhu Arghar, the the son of
prophet Muhammad
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
I really would like to get into the
the the the topic today, the point that
really
I was planning
to
address,
this point tonight.
The Manat al Assaydah
Khadija.
All the wives of prophet Muhammad, they have
virtues,
and they have
special,
things more than any other,
wives.
But Sayida Khadija,
she is the most.
She is the highest.
She's in in the top
of all of them. And
to go through
more details,
you know, to to see
how Allah
helped
our beloved prophet
Muhammad by Khadija
Even before before the
the revelations,
before prophethood,
you know, Khadija,
may Allah be pleased with her,
she was big support
for prophet Muhammad.
She supported him
by her money
and by by her opinions,
by her her
physical
support
and the spiritual support,
she helped him a lot, and she never
ever
returned back to him to make him down.
Because
this is shiam ul akhlaq.
You know, when the relation between a spouse
should be
into the the level
that we do not
know which money of this,
side.
Is this my money or my wife's money?
It doesn't matter.
Even the relation between spouse should be more
deep
than the relation between the father and his
daughter,
or the mother and and her daughter. SubhanAllah.
It's
more deeper
because
the husband
can see from his wife
more than his own father,
subhanallah,
and his her own,
brother.
And
the shaitan will be mad
if the relation between
the spouse,
very good.
This is the most difficult
thing for shaitan
to see,
you know, peace of mind
in between husband and wife.
We have the hadith that prophet Muhammad
mentioned, yet lisoo, a bliss
on his chair. Every day, he sat on
his chair or throne
and sent, you know, his soldiers.
And they came back in the end of
the day, one of them will say,
I
I I create dispute between the father and
his
son. And he will tell him, okay. Good.
Seth, have a seat.
And the other one will say, I create
I created the dispute between mother and and
her daughter. It's okay, said.
And the other will say, I create dispute
between
2 brothers
in the blood. That's okay. Good. You did
good job. And one of them will come
and say, I create
dispute
between husband
and wife.
And he
pointed him, you are the most
one,
you know, that I like.
You did very good job.
Why?
Because
if the shaitan
take over
and
create disputes between husband and wife,
you know, you will split the whole society.
You you will destroy the whole society
because the wife will go in one side
with her family and and her supporters,
and the husband will go in the other
side with his family
and his friends.
Now
we will we will split the whole society,
and the problem will be with the children.
And
who will take care of the children
if they go through divorce?
If the children
go to the mother's side,
she will say something bad about about the
the father.
If they went to father's side,
he will tell his children something bad about
their mom.
And the children will have mental problem
later on because they will be confused.
Oh, they they cannot trust both of them
because each one try to lie to make
the other other side bad. Mhmm. And this
is
the big
win for shaitan
to make to to split
the society and to to to force them
to go through divorce.
Or otherwise,
they will not be happy in their life.
You know, divorce might be a good solution
sometime on some cases.
But at least if they stay together, if
they still married,
both of them together,
they will have miserable life
because every time they will fight, every time
they will scream against each other, every time
they will be unhappy
in their life, and they will influence
their children.
They will raise them
also in different way. The children will not
be they they they will not be happy
either in their life. And this is you
know, we we really need to be careful
when we choose our lives,
when even if Allah, you
know, helped us out and we got married
already, we have to
change our way of thought about the life.
Change. We
we were struggling so many years
in our,
marriage life,
and just we we need to change the
way.
We need to change our way. We tried
this
this time before and didn't work out just
try the other way.
You know, yahi,
tell her, I was wrong. I I really
I was totally
locked. I want you know, I'm so sorry
for what I have done. Even if you
are
innocent.
But
for the sake of,
saving your your,
life and saving your children,
you know, it's it's okay to lie
to resolve the problem
or
to to fix the problem. It's it's allowing
in Islam to lie, but for a purpose
to
soften people's heart,
especially
for the wife or husband. When you get
involved
to fix a problem or to resolve the
problem,
don't tell everything.
If you meet with the wife
and meet meet with the with the husband,
and don't
say bad word that they mentioned.
Some people say, but this is lying.
You you can lie
to soften their hearts.
If she describe her husband, you know, she's
very stingy, like, the the the wife of,
the
stingy,
like, the the the wife of,
Abu Sufyan when she came to prophet Muhammad,
and she said, you know,
Take from whom his money, you know, whatever
whatever it you will be,
self sufficient,
whatever it will be enough for you and
your children, and you can take without his
permission.
But some people will say, you know, you
have you have already the permission from prophet
Muhammad,
take whatever you want. No.
You have to
you have to handle the situation
very wisely.
And when you get involved to fix the
the problem, do not tell
two sides the bad words
that
they they used to say. Do not go
to the husband to say, you know, your
wife said that you are stingy. You you
do not take care of
You you will put, you know, gas on
the fire into the fire.
You can
say,
your wife, she loves you so much. She
respects you a lot. And she said, but
just he's,
you know, sometime he cannot control himself. You
know, he's very kind and very nice and
very generous. Even he's very stingy. But just
try to soften his heart and go to
the wife, tell her, wallahi, your your husband,
subhanAllah,
masha'Allah.
Every time
when when just your name, you
know, mentioned,
he said, she's a very, very nice wife.
She's very kind. She's very, you know, helpful.
She and even she is not.
But just to help them out
to to beat shaitan,
to keep shaitan
out of their their life.
Sayyidah Khadija,
you know, Allah
gave her
a a a lot of virtues
more than any other wife of prophet Muhammad
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. The first
man papa, Lissaida Khadija,
she
is the first one who believed in prophet
Muhammad salaw alaihi wa sallam at all.
Before
men, before children, before other women,
she was the first one who believed in
prophet Muhammad salamu alayhi wasalam.
And when prophet Muhammad
salam came back from the the cave,
and he was
shaking, he was afraid.
He called a Khashitu al Anafsi,
Fassaydah Khadija.
You know, she lives with him
15 years
of the married marriage life.
You know, she they lived together for 15
years.
And she
and the the our used to
say, if you would like to ask about
somebody,
you know,
you have to ask his wife.
Really, if you're interested
to start business or to start dealing with
a certain person,
ask his wife.
Don't tell her because we need to we
we're gonna, have business together because she might
lie.
But just ask
her directly
about the manners of her her her her
husband
because she lives with him 247.
Even if he
has 2 faces,
if he is a hypocrite,
if he's Munafir,
he cannot
cheat his wife because he lives with her
all the time.
If he is able to cheat people outside,
he's not able to cheat his wife. Even
if he is able to cheat her for
a while, but he cannot continue
cheating her.
And the Sayyidina Khadija,
she spent 15 years with the prophet Mohammed,
salaw al salaw.
And when he told her, I was afraid
because something
new happened to me when Jibril came to
him and asked him, read
or recite. He said, I cannot read.
And in the end, he said,
until
the 5th,
verse of this Surah,
and he returned back to
his wife, Khadija.
And
she gave him a glad tidings.
She didn't know anything yet. But
because of
the good manners that prophet Muhammad
had,
he's a very nice man. He's a very
honest. He's a helpful. He's a very kind.
He's and all these good good manners,
Allah, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, will not waste
it.
You know, even in our our life today,
if we have some some people really they
are honest and they are,
helpful for others. They are kind. Allah will
never waste
these good manners for them. Allah will reward
them in this temporary life and in hereafter
too.
Don't don't,
really
have a different
thought
because,
you know, all people now, they're dealing with
the bad
manners, and you have to to act like
them.
Like, you're like a little lip.
You know? Whatever you will you can win.
Just you can play the game,
buy it. Subhanallah. You have to be honest
all the time. You have to be kind
all the time. Even people are bad,
you're not dealing with them. You are dealing
with Allah,
the lord of mankind.
And this is just we need to keep
in mind all the time. And she said,
By Allah, Allah will not
make you down at all because you used
to do something good for people, for mankind.
You used to do you used to help,
you
know, people out. You used to to receive
the the the the the guests and the
the visitors and the and the and the
be generous with them, and all these,
characteristics
are good.
And she said, Allah will not make you
down at all.
And
from the first moment,
she believed in him
When she went to her her cousin,
who what is his name?
Warakah ibn Nu Nawfal.
And
she took prophet Muhammad
went to Warakah ibn Nu Nawfal, and he
told her he will be the last final
messenger of Allah.
There is
Namuz in Arabic language,
you know, like mosquito,
but it's not it's not mosquito.
Like somebody used to say, this is the
same mosquito
came to Moses before.
It's not mosquito. In Namus
Youani al Wahl.
Oh, I you know, the revelation, the same
revelation
came to Muses before.
And the the the just to be careful,
when you translate,
you know, some sentence in, in English.
You you have to be careful
like the the man who used to say,
If we have some people study about Islam
and they have no idea about Arabic language,
they will they will have,
you know, big misunderstanding
later on. And he translate the verse, you
know,
call for mankind,
and men will come to respond for pilgrimage.
How about men women?
It's not required for them, because the
Aya said,
men, but it's not men.
Means
walking,
men and women together.
When when when one of the told to
prophet Muhammad,
you will be the last final messenger of
Allah,
And
I wish if I will be there
when your people
will drive you out of your your town.
You see?
Farhan Abbas asked
him,
are they who will drive me out of
my town? He said yes.
No one came
with the same method that you have,
unless
his people drive
him out, you know, to force him to
go out of his town.
And he had a wish.
I I wish if I was
if I will be there,
I will support you when your people will
drive you out of your town.
And some some scholars said that Waraqa
ibn Nawfal believed in prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, and he died as a Muslim
because he passed away
before
before,
before that,
before the the revelation
came to prophet Muhammad and
before
hijra, before,
declared declared the the the message of Islam.
In that moment, Sayeda Khadija,
she believed in prophet Muhammad and
she was the first
person
accepted
the message of Islam
from prophet Muhammad
We have the,
hadith,
that,
a man, his name Afif ibnuam
al Kindi,
min Kinda, Kabilet Kinda.
He was a businessman. He came to Mecca
for his business trip,
and he went to meet with Al Abbas,
the uncle of prophet Muhammad
in the area of Mina, near to Ka'at,
to to Mecca.
And he narrated by himself,
I came in noontime, which is the Dorav
prayer time,
and I saw
a a a man
and,
a woman and a child. The 3 of
them were praying.
And I asked Al Abbas, who's this man,
and who's the woman, and who's the child
with them? And he said, this is my
nephew,
Muhammad.
He claimed
that he is a messenger and a prophet
of of god, of Allah.
And this is his wife, Khadija,
and this is,
his
uncle,
his his,
cousin,
Ali ibn Abi Tal. And Afif Hadah, he
accepted Islam later on, but he said, I
wish
if I accepted Islam in that day
to be the 4th of them,
to have a quarter of Islam, to be
the the the quarter of Islam.
He he he had a wish to accept
Islam in the day
to Lea Kun Raqal Arba.
Sayyidina Rasulillah, Sayyidina Khadija, Sayyidina Ali, you know,
they are 3.
If and if he accepted Islam in that
day, you know, he would be the 4th
one who accepted Islam.
But the 4th one who accepted Islam, Sayyidina
Abu Bakr as Sabeel.
You know? The the first one of men
accepted Islam, and the first one of children,
Sayyidna Ali ibn Abi Talib.
For everybody
to do good deeds as much as you
can. You know why?
Because in the day of judgment,
whatever you have done in your life,
good or bad, you will have followers
to imitate you.
And if you have more followers
imitating you in good
actions,
you will take the same reward of them.
Hadith alhamahuasallam,
whosoever is called out for guidance
and the people imitate him, he will have
the same reward of all of them.
This is the reason,
Sayeda Khadija, she has the reward of all
women
who believed,
in in in Allah
after her.
And whosoever
called out
people to do,
mischief or to do, you know, wrong do
wrong wrong actions,
he will have the same
amount of sense
of those people.
And it's big encouragement for all of us
to help people out to do good deeds
and to guide them to to be a
a a good,
worshipers to Allah.
And this
is
Prophet Muhammad
never ever,
marry other women,
with Khadija,
until
she passed away.
And this is really,
Ascalari,
he mentioned
in sahih in Fathilbari,
Sharghi Sahih al Bukhari, he mentioned in this
hadith,
he said that the time prophet Muhammad
spent in marriage,
how many years?
38 years.
He spend with Khadija by yourself,
how many years? 15.
15. 15, this is until the time of
the prophethood
started and the 40
years old for prophet Muhammad.
But he lived he lived with her after
after the prophet too. How many years?
He left with the with the Khadija for
25
years.
His life of marriage with Khadija,
25 years.
Yeah. 25
years
from
38.
How many years left? 2 thirds. 2? 2
3rd of his
2 3rd. Yes.
She took 2 third of his
life, marriage marriage life,
and the rest of the wives of Rasulullah,
they share in 1 third of his
life of the marriage.
And this
is big man kabah for a saydah Khadija.
And he never,
marry other other woman
in in her life.
And just
to defend our beloved prophet Muhammad,
people
claimed
that he loves to marry a lot of
women.
And,
you know,
he married
a woman
older than him, 15 years old, and she
wasn't
virgin.
And
he did not marry any other woman with
her in the same time,
and he waited
until she passed away.
Even after that,
she was mentioned her name
in any occasion in his life
out of love for her and out of
appreciation
for what she,
have done for prophet Muhammad,
you know.
But the other wives,
it it it it was
by Allah's command.
Allah commanded him
to marry them.
This is by revelation from Allah
The only
wife that, prophet
Muhammad married her,
and she was a virgin, a Saydah
Aisha only.
And even Allah
gave him glad tidings that he will marry
her.
But
the only, virgin that prophet Muhammad
married,
only Sayd Aisha.
All of his wives,
they weren't,
virgin.
I was jealous one day.
He always mentioned,
Khadija's name
every time.
And one day, I I became a jealous.
How come, or a Surah Ba,
that, you know,
Allah
replaced
you,
or gave you,
much, much better wife than her,
and she was very old.
Hamra'Shidqayim,
the the scholars exhibit because
she was very old and she did not
have teeth,
you know, and she has only the gum,
and the gum it's red color.
You know, the gum of the person
who has no teeth in his mouth or
her mouth.
And Sayeda Saida Aisha tried to to convince
the prophet Muhammad
why you still remember her and love her
this much?
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave you,
you know, me, the the the bikr and
the sahira
and al Habibah, bintul Habib.
Like in Nabi sasalam,
Lamyat Saqadija
Radiallahu Anha warga hadaba'a'da
mawdiya.
Fani was
mad
with Aisha in that day, and he said
to her,
why not?
Why not?
You know, it's she did more than what
I I,
deserved
because Allah
helped me out
by her.
She believed in me
while everybody
denied my my message.
She was the first one believed in me.
And
And she helped me out by her wealth
while everybody,
you know, did not help me out in
that time.
And Allah
gave me the children, all the children from
her,
and I did not have children from other
other,
woman
except from her.
And this is, you know, Al-'Allama
mentioned
that,
jammuz.
It's okay
to to be jammuz with some people, especially
between wives.
Even this is what's allowed for the mother
of believers, Aisha
And
how about the one who is less than
Aisha?
It's okay.
When when you see your wife really,
jealous
with somebody else, you have to understand it's
normal way.
You know, don't be mad, and don't just
fight back
to to
to change her mind. It's okay. Just calm
down
and relax
and accept the situation.
Even prophet Muhammad,
he was dealing with Aisha,
and she mentioned the word fahir to you
woman.
I was jealous one day because it was
too much.
Every time this is Khadija. Every time this
is, you know, the friends of Khadija. This
is the sister of Khadija. This is this
is the the Khadija that she used to
love, she used to eat, she used to
eat. And
she said, I I I I couldn't control
myself. One day, become a jealous. That's it.
And,
the scholars of hadith, they said, it's okay
for your wife to be jealous.
Don't don't expect
that she is an angel.
Don't expect she is a messenger and the
prophet of Allah Subhan. She's a human,
and you have to agree with the with
this situation.
Nothing wrong.
The wrong that you
you
return back in hard
way and to to,
to say something not good.
Just accept the situation
and find a way how to resolve the
problem.
And this is,
what,
Imam Ibn Arabi mentioned,
he said,
It's out of kindness
to to,
to to be connected
with the friends of your dad. Even if
your dad passed away and he still have
friends,
you know, he used to visit them. He
used to call them. He used to deal
with them. Do it
in behalf of your dad.
Oh, the same thing for your mom. Do
it in behalf of your mom. He
will be happy
with you for any action that he used
to do,
good action. You he used to do, and
you will continue
doing that for him.
He will be happy with you. And this
is, you know, out of kindness.
I
did not have a jalice
with anyone of the wives of Rasulullah except
Khadija.
Even Khadija
when when prophet Muhammad,
married was was married Khadija,
Aisha wasn't there.
She did not
born in that time.
Even,
when when,
when prophet Mohammed
migrated from Mecca to Medina
and and he start his his,
life with Khadija with Aisha in Medina, she
was 9 years old in that time.
SubhanAllah, she was very young,
but she was jealous
with Khadija.
And she used to say,
When he slaughter
a lamb,
you know, to say, take this lamb to
the friends of Khadija.
I
was mad one day.
There is no any
any mention for any names except Khadija.
Allah
provided me
with her love.
It's
not by my hand.
It's something,
you know,
I I cannot do it by myself. It's
from Allah. It's a it's
a rizq from Allah
This is other hadith
that Sayida Aisha
talked about Sayida Khadija,
the wife of prophet Muhammad
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
When the when really,
the husband
loves his his wife,
wallahi, this is the risk from Allah's
and you will find a lot of people
will not be happy with this love, and
they will fight back
to force you to hate your wife.
And the same thing for
wife's
side. When
some people figure out that you love your
husband,
they will not leave you alone
because they they are missing big part of
their life,
which is love
between husband and wife.
And they will not leave you alone. They
will
destroy your life.
Yeah. And
the biggest problem that we have in our
community,
you know, some sisters,
they listen to other
bad people,
and
they
confused her.
The why you have to serve him? Why
you have to work? Why you have to
stay home? Why you have to do that?
You you have free will. You are in
the free country.
We have a lot of sisters. They came
from back home, and
they spent
a little of time here, and they they
changed it a lot.
And it ended up
with the divorce.
They went to the court, and they they
divorce
their husbands.
And they forced their husbands
to work hard and to pay child support.
And
But is this life
do you think this is good life for
you? How you will defend yourself
on front of Allah
Yeah.
You feel inside yourself that you are guilty,
But because
of
ends were jammed around you,
you know, they forcing you to go for
for war. Just don't listen to anyone. You
are free in you have free will in
this
country. You can you can
rely
on your opinion,
and you can make your own opinion. No
one can force you. You are the decision
maker, subhan'Allah.
And
they will not leave her until
she got divorced,
and
she will struggle hard after that.
And she will be the big
tool
to destroy her children too.
Because,
subhanallah, this is this is the life that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala prepared for us.
I cannot do the work of my wife,
and my wife, she cannot do the work
of myself.
This is how Allah created us.
We
we we have the muscles and we we
have the ability to work hard to gain
money.
And our wives,
Allah,
gave them the strength
in other in other way.
It's not in the muscles,
but in their hearts.
Subhanallah, in their kindness.
And and this is to
just it might take take us away from
the topic a little bit, but to understand,
The woman will be stronger
when she
really act
as a weak person
because this is the natural way that Allah
created us. When you have a woman
or when you have a wife,
really, she's acting,
you know, as a as a man,
you know, this is my opinion,
and I have my own opinion like you.
There is no difference between man and woman,
and, you know,
almost always you will find,
you know,
all the time, they will not agree
because
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
If we have 2 2,
leaders
in the in the ship,
it will drown.
We have only 1 leader,
and the house should has one leader only,
the decision maker.
Nothing wrong to ask and
discuss
and
ask about the opinions. But in the end,
you you will take the responsibility,
and you will make your your decision, and
you will be responsible
of your decision. When we look at Sayyidina
Abu Bakr al Sadiq,
Sayyidina Abu Bakr al Sadiq is very kind
person,
and he choose
the leader of the army of Muslim in
who who was the leader in in in
the time of, Abu Bakr Sudeik?
Sayid Nakhali
very
tough. SubhanAllah.
He he entered a lot a lot a
lot of battles,
and he never lose once
even before Islam and after Islam.
Can can you can you see? He was
very very intelligent
leader.
But because Sayyidina Abu Bakr Sadiq, he was
very kind,
and he choose very strong
and very tough leader for the army.
It will work out.
But when Sayidna Omar
become a become a khalifa,
Sayidna Omar very tough,
Why he changed Sayidna Khaled?
Because it will be
harmful for Muslimians to have the khalifa is
very strong
and to have the army the leader of
the army of Muslimen very strong.
Both of them will not work together because
they they will will make difficult for Muslims.
And this the reason,
he told him to step down
and he choose who? Who is the the
leader of the army
of of Muslim in the time of Sayyidina
Umayyid
Abdul Jarrah,
Subhanallah.
Wisdom.
Hikman.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, you choose
those people to be to be to to
be in the time of Rasulullah
The
best
people
among among people,
my my
generation,
and the next generation,
and the 3rd generation.
Allah our prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
testified for them. And when they do something,
you know, they do it out of knowledge
and out of
of,
wisdom.
Sayyidna
Omar
Let's say to Omar by himself,
it's very very strong and very very tough,
you know. Again, even Shaitan who used to
be afraid of Sayyidna Umar. Shaitan. You
know
shaitan?
Satan.
If you if you take any road, the
shaitan will choose the other one. Even shaitan
Sayyidina Umar will not be able to see
shaitan. But shaitan was afraid of Sayyidina Umar.
How about
the people? If shaitan is afraid of Umar,
how about the rest of Hibul, the rest
of the community, Muslim community? And this is
the reason because a lot of people, they
they
they make bad statement
about Sayyidna Umar that
this is out of wisdom of Sayyidna Umar.
Omar, you know. He's a very strong
Khalifa
and
he tried to find, you know, the other
man
to to to have, you know, mercy
with for for for Muslimi.
And he chose Sayyidna
Abu Ubaydah
ibn Jabra.
Sayidna Abu Ubaydah
will not work out with with Abu Bakr
as siddiq because both of them are kind.
And Sayidna Khali and ibn Walid will not
work out with the Sayidna Umar Ibn Khattab
because both of them are tough.
You see the wisdom?
And now we come back to our topic.
If we have the wife
really put herself in the same status with
her husband,
they will not work out.
Yeah.
One of them should lay down their bed
and say, you know, I will let you
lead the family
but I will I will support you. I
will share
my opinion with you. It's okay, which is
fine. This is what we need. But to
say, you know, you are working,
I am.
You are
you have income, I am.
You have,
I am.
So I am. I wanna come in. I
wanna come in.
You know?
It's
Every
Stop.
You understand?
I kind of. Kind of? Yeah. But practice.
When you get married, just
do it.
Not now. You still you still have some
No.
I can feel
the the the the result of my
in
the in the behavior of my,
my transportation,
and my wife.
During winter,
battery, you know, died.
What did you do yesterday?
What did you do between you and Allah
And we we have to to
to realize that
when we do some Masiyyah,
you know, we we have to expect
a punishment from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
When we do some ta'a, we have to
expect that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will reward
us.
When you come back from from work,
what did your your wife did for you?
Did she went to open the door for
you and to say, welcome
my,
my my beloved one,
honey, or whatever they call what what did
your wife named you? Do you have different
name than than your name,
at home?
Do you diff do you have different name?
Yes. Sometime.
You are lucky. Do you have different name?
Be honest.
Teach her a different name or let her
choose one name for you. And this study,
when you
when you find your wife really jumped into
the door to open for you and to
welcome you,
yeah, look at yourself that you did something
good between you and Allah
But when you find your wife, just put
the the
the the white sheet around around her head
and, you know,
even she might hold the knife because she
was working in the kitchen
or or a node in the Bosnian language.
She holding the node.
Yeah. That's correct.
And,
what what I did?
Yeah. You might get something bad, and this
is the idea. Just keep
keep in mind, whatever you will do,
you will you will have the result of
your action, good or bad.
This is, you know, out of justice from
Allah to to make us happy with the
some obedience that we have done for the
sake of Allah
And just to make sure
to keep your your your,
relationship,
between you and your wife
and healthy relationship,
almost play yourself.
All even
if if you have right, 100%.
But just
use this card one time. Use this play
this game one time.
Blame yourself all the time.
And trust me, your wife will try to
defend you. No. No. No. You you did
not mean that. I know I know we
have been mad for 10 years or 20
years or 3 years. No. No. I know
you very well. You didn't you didn't mean
that.
Maybe, you know, something happened.
So she will try to find the excuse
for you. But if you
try to force her, you know, you did
this and you will push the button
for big explosion because she would say, you
left me working at at kitchen and cleaning
the house, cleaning the children, take care of
the children, drive them to school, bring them
to school. So
she will put the wrong list.
You will not be able to to to
to finish it.
And just to blame your take my advice.
Claim yourself
and tell her you are right. You I
agree 100%.
You this is the very wise wise decision.
And