Salah Mahmoud – The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying
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AI: Transcript ©
My dear brothers and sisters,
an Australian nurse by the name of Bronnie
Ware,
she's a very famous nurse,
she worked with
terminally
ill patients.
That was her main job.
Those patients, brothers and sisters, were given
3 to 12 weeks
in this dunya
and after that, according to doctors, and Allah
knows when the day comes,
they were given only 3 to 12 weeks
and then they will be gone. Death will
come to them.
So
during her job,
the time she spent with these people for
many years,
she was
interviewing them, talking to them,
and she started documenting
the things they were telling her.
One of the things that she was asking
one of the questions she was asking
each and every one of them,
what is the top regret
that you have?
And then
after she heard them, she documented
all of the, you know, the experiences and
the regrets
in a small book
known as
the top five regrets of the dying.
Can you just imagine, brothers and sisters,
during that time,
when you're about to leave this Dunia and
someone comes to you and asks this question,
what do you regret the most?
And we all know that
during that particular that crucial moment,
your answers are going to be very, very,
very sincere. You know why?
Because there is no time to fool yourself
anymore.
There is no time to lie to yourself.
You will be sincere in your answers,
and do not expect during those time, in
those moments, when someone asks this question,
you will say something
or you talk about something that is not
important or significant in life.
You know sometimes when our elders when about
to pass away, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
all of them with his mercy.
When they're were about to pass away and
they say, you know, can you gather the
family here? It means that there is a
message that they wanna deliver to the family.
And usually this is the most important message.
And for sure, they're not gonna tell them
about, you know, when we're gonna move to
the house or what about the new car.
None of that will matter to them because
you're about to leave everything. You'll be about
to have the kefen and then the kefen
does not have pockets.
So brothers and sisters,
she documented everything
and she wrote in the book
or she named the book the top five
regrets of the dying.
Very famous book. If you did not read
it, inshallah, you can go and read, inshallah,
you will benefit from it.
And in the next few minutes, inshallah, together
we can reflect on those regrets, brothers and
sisters.
And of course, the regrets of non Muslims
are different from the regrets of Muslims. So,
basically, we're gonna be talking about the regrets
of the dying from a secular perspective as
well as from Islamic perspective. As a Muslim,
what are the things you regret the most
if the death comes to you?
So let's start with the first regret that
it was very common between all of them.
What is the top regret?
Number 1,
he said,
we wish
we had the courage to live a life
true to ourselves,
not the life that others expected from us.
We wish that
we stick to our values and our principles.
We wish we had the courage to just
be ourselves and not to try to please
other people around us.
We wish we did not deprive us from
a lot of things just so that people
don't, you know, feel bad
or will because we did not, you know,
wanna bother people.
We wish we lived the the life that,
you know, that
represent ourselves,
not others.
SubhanAllah.
A lot of times, brothers and sisters, we
live to impress others,
but in the midst of that, we forget
ourselves
and that's something we're going to regret.
For us Muslims, subhanAllah,
how many times we compromise in our deen,
in our religion
because
we're just worried that other people would judge
us.
Right? How many times we try to fit
in the society
so that people don't think that we're backwards?
How many times, you know, we compromise in
our values and our deen because of people?
This is the one thing that these people
regretted before they passed away, brothers and sisters.
How many times our youngsters try to try
to fit in and we always tell them,
do not try to fit in my brother,
my sister. Do not try to fit in.
You're born to stand out. You're the follower
of Rasulullah
Live true to yourself, my brothers and sisters.
Worry not too much about people. As long
as you please Allah
nothing else matters. Look at Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam. A young man who was born
in Mecca from a Qurashi
from a Qurashi family. 1 of the elite
at that time, Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
comes to the Quraysh, to his uncles, to
the family, to everybody else with Muhammad or
Rasulullah.
Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam could have had
anything he wanted from Dunia. Had he if
if he wanted money, they would give him
money. Well, anything he wanted, he would ask
for, they would have given it to him.
But rasulullah
sallallahu
alaihi
wasallam.
So they go to him, you know, they
they send Abu Talib to him. Amu Abu
Talib. You know, try to keep him to
have him or convince him to stay away
from dawah. Not to call people
for We all know the story. He said,
Oh my uncle, I swear to Allah. If
we are to put the moon to my
right hand
and the the left the
sun to the left hand, I will never
ever give up on giving down and calling
people for
Rasulullah was a true leader brothers and sisters.
His name was not a follower.
Who could have lived any life but he
was short in himself. What about Musa ibn
Umar radiAllahu an? Musa ibn Umar, the young
spoiled man, Allahu Akbar. Musa Al Umar had
everything that a young man till today would
wish to have.
However, he left all of this when he
found the truth. When Allah
put the iman in his heart, he left
everything that when he was dying, they did
not even have enough for him. Allahu
Akbar. Why? Because he lived the truth himself,
not to please people and their sisters.
And we should not take this message as,
you know, we should we should repel. We
should not listen to others advice. You should
do that. It's fine.
But do not change your values and your
principles, that's because you want to impress people.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala should be your standard.
If Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is happy with
what I'm doing,
I don't care what people think about me.
Everyone is doing haram. I am the only
one doing halal. That's fine as long as
Allah
is happy with me. And this is the
true happiness, brothers and sisters.
So this is the first
regret of the top five regrets of the
dying,
according to the nurse.
The second regret that they shared, brothers and
sisters, they said,
we wished
we did not work so hard.
Yes.
We wish we did not work so hard.
We work to
live, not live to work.
And that's a problem that you and I
and all of us, subhanAllah, we're getting so
busy in dunya that in the middle of
that, we're forgetting a lot of our Ibadat.
We're forgetting our families because we're always looking
for more. We're always looking. You have a
house. You need a bigger house. You need
a car. You need the latest car and
it's not gonna stop.
It's not gonna stop, brothers and sisters. Right?
And because of that, what what is happening
to the families? They're, you know, they're breaking
apart because of that. Right? You work so
hard. Yes. You can work and,
you know, you can bring whatever how much
you know, whatever money you wanna bring or
to to their family. There is no problem.
Nothing indeed, you know, against that.
But what we warn ourselves around, we'll have
to be,
you know, careful
about is losing our families in the midst
of that.
Right? A lot of parents, when you ask
them about your your kids, do you talk
to them about salah? Do you know what
they do in school? Do you care about
their friends? Do you ask about your friends?
Sheikh, I don't have time.
If you do not have time to your
own children, so what are you doing in
this world?
These are your responsibilities what Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala will ask you. He will ask you
about.
Right? This is
brothers and sisters. We should care about our
children.
And we're trying our best but because we
always looking for more. So it is time
to pause and reflect.
These people who, you know, who are about
to die, they left this world now and
they regretted all of these things but you
and I are still alive.
We can always rectify ourselves.
We can always turn around, make a u-turn.
Right? They don't have the chance to do
that, but we're alive until today. Alhamdulillah. It's
a gift from Allah
They said we wish we did not work
so hard.
Brothers and sisters, we need to balance between
duniya
and our deen and our families. We need
to keep, you know, the balance.
We need to make sure to spend time
with our families, with our only children. Those
are our products.
Those are the investments.
Because guess what? Your child, at the end
of the day, will not care how much,
you know, how beautiful the car is or
how they're not gonna care much about this.
If you ignore
their needs, if you ignore their emotions, if
you don't give them enough time, there was
a situation, a very sad situation. I was
very I I was brought in the middle
of, you know, an argument between a father
and his son and subhanAllah,
you know, when I heard how the how
ugly the son was talking to his father,
I realized there's something going on.
Right? So the father was focused on one
thing, one thing only. Son, I got you
everything. Look at your house. Look at the
car. Look what kind of school you go.
Look at the your standard, you know, view
of your life.
Right? And the son said,
dad, I don't care about none of that.
What I really care about is when I
come from school, you ask me how was
your day? What did you do in school?
When you come to the school activities, when
I go for soccer practice or anything, you
come with me. I wanted to feel that
there is a father in my life but
you brought everything, yes, material, but I didn't
want this from you. I wanted you to
be with me and this is the most
important thing.
So brothers and sisters,
we have the time to rectify ourselves
and make a u-turn and correct anything that
is going wrong. Your family is the biggest
and the best investment.
So if you invest in your family now,
it will be in Dunia and the hereafter
as well. So brothers and sisters,
the first regret of the top five regrets
of the dying
that they wish they lived the the life
true to themselves, not try to impress people.
Number 2, they wish if they had not
or they didn't work so hard. Number 3,
they said, we wish we
we we we, you know, we we actually
lived a happier life or made ourselves
happier.
Happiness is what we're looking for.
Right? Probably, they had everything they want in
the world
but there are a lot of things that
they missed. That's why they regret that they
didn't make themselves
happier.
Right? Maybe they were worrying so much about
the past and this is what happens to
all of us.
Allah has given you 24 hours a day.
Right?
You waste
12 hours
or you're ruined 12 hours
regretting the things that you've done in the
past
and the rest of the day, you worry
too much about the future
And in the middle of that, you forget
your day, your day, your day.
Right? The past will never come back.
The future is in Allah's hand.
You have today this is what you need
to think about. And when you worry yourself
too much and you keep, you know, dwelling
in the past, what is going to happen?
You're going to be miserable all the time.
When you do not have the the contentment
in your heart,
when you don't say
for whatever Allah
has given me,
when you're not saying
for the ability to to breathe right now,
brothers and sisters,
and we know what is happening with COVID,
may Allah
lift our difficulty.
With the many blessings that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala given all of us. Just imagine the
birth right now that we're taking for granted.
You go to the hospital, people are ready
to pay 1,000, 1,000,000 of dollars to take
one breath but subhanAllah,
a lot of times we forget this and
we become miserable because we're not grateful to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Right? They said we wish that we made
ourselves
happier.
Brothers and
sisters, be grateful to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Be content.
Brothers and sisters, don't dwell in the past
so much. Don't spill over don't cry over
the spilled milk,
and don't worry about the future because it's
Allah's hand. We don't know if we're even
gonna leave the masjid or not.
May
Allah give us understand
We're talking about the top five regrets of
the dying.
We said the first regret that they did
not live true life to themselves and they
tried to impress others.
The second regret that they worked so hard
and they forgot about very important things in
their life.
And the third one, that they could not
make themselves happier.
And number 4, they said,
we wish that
we did not cut the ties with our
old friends
and old family members.
This is also very important. I want to
just reflect on your your old friend
from, you know, from primary school, from the,
you know, 1st grade, for childhood, you know,
the childhood friends,
the family members that we barely talked to.
Right? When was the last time we checked
on our family members, brothers and sisters? Our
parents, whether they're here or back home. When
was the last time? SubhanAllah.
Very important question. But we're busy. Yes, we're
busy. We understand.
But do not cut all the ties with
the families and friends, brothers and sisters, because
you know what? One time
or one day you're gonna regret all of
this, all the memories that you had with
your friends before
and all the memories that you had with
your with your families before, you're gonna lose
all of that all of these memories.
Right? These people regret regretted the fact that
they did not maintain these relationships and these
ties, brothers and sisters.
So
now we have the chance
right after salah to think about just check
your phone book, your contacts.
You know what, subhanallah, I didn't call him
for a long time. I didn't call her
for a long time. It's time to just
text or call and say,
how is everything doing going?
Right?
Otherwise, subhanallah, what is going to happen? Just
gonna leave this world and leave everyone behind
us. Allah
give us good
end. You can go back inshallah to the
book to, you know, read the rest because
the time is, unfortunately, is very short. But
now the last part I wanna talk about
inshallah
of the regrets of the Muslims
because our perspective stood completely different from others.
As believers,
the things that we regret in duniya
or the things that we regret in akhirah
are different from others.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, you know, give us
the deen and that's an honor from Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala. What are the things? And
we're looking at the Quran. The word
regret.
We look in the Quran
and you will not
find any place in Quran which people regret
in something they missed in dunya like financial
thing or material thing. Never ever. It's all
about
Let's just recite some ayat insha'Allah. Enough reciting.
I don't even have to explain, subhanAllah.
Surat al Fajr. Allah
says what?
I wish I presented for my life, my
real life which is what al akhirah.
SubhanAllah.
Another yalaytani
or yahasrataah.
That's I wish. Nadam.
Regretting.
I wish I did not miss the salah.
I wish I did not miss the siyam.
When I had the money, I wish I
went for Hajj.
I wish I was I was, you know,
kind to my parents.
I wish I took care of my children
and my family. These are the things that
you're going to regret in the hereafter, brothers
and sisters.
When the death comes to one of them,
it says Allah return me back. Why? Why
do you wanna go back to Dunia?
So I can rectify myself.
I can correct myself.
I promise you Allah, I will go back
to the masjid.
I will pray. I will be kind to
my parents.
I will go for umar when I can.
I go for Hajj. I will give my
zakah. I promise.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will say,
kala
no way.
It's too late.
We say it's never too late,
but this time it is too late.
It is too late for that for these
people, brothers and sisters, but now is not
too late for us.
As long as we're alive, we can always
always return back
and make sure not to regret anything.
Another regret in Quran,
When the day comes,
he says or she says, you Allah,
just extend my, you know, my lifespan a
little bit. One one minute, 1 hour. Why?
For us,
so that I can give sadaqa, Allahu Akbar.
You have the money now. What is stopping
you from giving sadaqa?
What is stopping you brothers and sisters? What
if the death comes? You will be too
late, but you have the opportunity right now.
Right? SubhanAllah.
Hasal Basri
He passed by Janaza.
He was walking with someone who, you know,
was not into the path into the ta'ala.
He said he said, you know, what do
you think that the one the one wish
that this made that Janaza has?
He said that man said
to to come back to duniya so he
can repent to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and
to rectify himself.
Al Hasan al Basri said,
so what is stopping you from being like
him? What is stopping you?
What guarantees that he's not gonna be in
the simplest in few seconds from now, not
even few minutes?
So brothers and sisters, think about this. I
will leave you with this inshallah.
If the doctor, may Allah
give you health.
If the doctor, it might happen. If the
doctor tells you that you have 1, 2,
3 weeks to live,
what are you going to do exactly?
Take this question
and if your answer is anything other than
I will get back to Allah
then there is something wrong,
and that needs to be corrected.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala give us the
ability and tawfiqirabalaalamin.
Just a quick announcement as you're walking out,
please don't forget,
your donations to the. $20 per person will
help us,
maintain the operations.
Number 2, as you know, the we had
announced earlier that we are opening up the
gymnasium,
the Sunday school,
the in person halakat for sisters classes and
whatnot. But in light of the rising cases
and in a, consultation with the the the
doctors group of EPIC,
we're kind of postponing that a little bit.
So the HIF school, the programs are gonna
be as follows. The HIF school, we're gonna
continue
in person
with strict guidelines,
masks, and shields. Those are that's for the
full time HIF school here.
Sunday school,
we're going to be consulting and send the
communications
out, whether we're gonna start, what date we're
gonna start. All the halakat,
everything will be suspended for until August 15th,
and we're gonna reevaluate the situation
come August 15th and keep you posted.
So at this point, the gymnasium,
the only thing that's open is the salah
with mandatory masks, the school,
and after anything
outside of that, we'll just, come back and
re
reannounce it on August 15th.