Channel: Sajid Ahmed Umar
Blast from the Past, Seerah in the 21st Century, Season 1 – Episode 9: Practical lessons from the marriage of the Messenger (SAW) to Khadeejah (RH).
smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah
My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, both here in the Melbourne Medina and those joining us from the comfort of their homes. Salaam Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. With the Peace and blessings of Allah Subhana Allah be upon you all, all praises belong to Allah subhanho wa Taala always, and we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala especially, because
marks the first night of the last 10 nights of the month of Ramadan.
We thank Allah subhanho wa Taala praise him for bringing us thus far in this blessed month. And we ask
Allah to give us greater
and greater energies and greater intelligence for the last 10 that remain. This is the time brothers and sisters where you bring it up.
You have to bring it bring your aka, right? It's the last 10 nights the greatest Night of the entire Yeah, and in one of these 10 nights is the greatest night in the entire Yeah, and especially the loss of the lover, and he was telling us it is during one of the last 10 nights of Ramadan. Right? It's during one of the last 10 nights. So this is where you bring it. This is where you stop trying. You know when you say I've been trying to eat.
I've been trying to do this, I've been trying to do that. This is what I tell you stop trying. This is where you just do it. You just do it. You stop trying to do justice do it. This is this is the time if there was ever a time, you had to just do it by hook or by crook you want to say by crook because it's not likely.
We keep these held. But we say if there was, if there was ever a time when you needed to just do it, it's in our system. So put your trust in Allah subhanho wa Taala and be ready to give it your all. If you can take time off work. take time off work. This is the time when a Muslim takes time off work, not only for holidays, but I'm amazed by the Muslims who takes me time of work for holidays, but forgets to take time off work for the month of Ramadan, or forgets that they should free themselves for the last 10 nights during the night. During the month of Ramadan. I'm amazed by this person. Sometimes I meet people and say have you taken time off? I've used up my data a few days.
Did you not know every year you have 10 nights, the greatest nights
in the course of the whole year. It's not as if it comes unannounced. It's not as if it is announced during some years and not during other years, every year as if you don't have an idea.
Right. So this is the time you can take time off work take time off work, this is the time to eat less,
eat some pizza for the day or eat. Mashallah, right, which will come and you can eat that this is the time to eat less. So you sleep less at nighttime, right? In the day, obviously not eating. You don't want to fill your bellies during, for if you do that, it's going to trouble you throughout the night and you need your energies during the slides. I wish I could talk to you about this more but we have a lot to get through. today. I'm just announcing to the referee today. There will be extra time inshallah. So please be ready for it. Please inform your Lensman and inshallah we will dedicate the hook by tomorrow.
proceedings, dedicated to this topic of latency are the
brothers and sisters yesterday. What did I do? Firstly, I welcome you all to our ninth. Is it our ninth episode? who's counting? ninth, ninth episodes of the series is a blast from the past to the 21st century. So Pamela,
and my time is running out I just realized I have I think eight more slots. So Pamela eight more slots. And so the for them, and there's too much left to do.
We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala. to contrast, Barack in our time yesterday, we learned just one lesson. But it was a mighty lesson, especially in this day and age. today. We only got to take one day
As well, I wanted to take more than one lesson, I need to take more than one lesson. But we can only take one lesson. So given how many benefits they are from this one incident in the life of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. But before I tell you that incident, yesterday very quickly, very quickly, we discussed
cancel photo, and we took on many benefits, who went home yesterday and did their homework and benchmark themselves against some of the lessons that were set, especially especially the points pertaining towards being just in speech inaction. Masha, Allah, Allah, Allah Subhana Allah,
Allah subhanho wa Taala except from you, you watched via the live stream live stream that didn't see you yesterday. He is familiar faces without you know who's here. And who's
me Allah subhanho wa Taala except for me this concept of
benchmarking yourself against
that which is ideal is part and parcel of the Sharia. Well, we take account of ourselves before Allah subhanho wa Taala takes account of us just one howdy brothers and sisters that I forgot to mention yesterday, which related directly to the last matches we discussed yesterday in matters of supporting goods that are considered sacred, even if non Muslims do it. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, I have been asked
Open both ears right now. I
mean, I have been asked in a law from the most beloved people to Allah. We want to be from the most beloved to Allah. Do you want to know who are the most beloved to Allah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said and
Allah, from the most beloved people to Allah, those who are of great benefit to the people, people, not just Muslims.
Never forget this.
This is what breeds within us a desire to ascertain the quality of selflessness, which was a quality manifested greatly by the
selflessness, not selfishness, selling fish was never good for you.
Unless you were selling it for more than one pound. You remember the one pound fish? No, you guys are down on
the story the British can tell you.
being selfish was never a trade taught to us by the mothership you
know, the giants that walk the face of this earth that you and I try and walk upon their shoulders was never taught to us by them you know ever was a trade trade from amongst their trades, they were self listed. We spoke about this yesterday. So this heavy I really wanted to share with you we alternate the importance of Turkey and looking after our to heat right. And when we take an oath we only swear by Allah avoid was a footnote, it was a mighty footnote because it pertains to our aqeedah etc. And we spoke about the grave mistake of those who say touchwood and Fingers crossed. Today brothers and sisters, we want to discuss the marriage of the best person walk the face
the best female, the best female from the female
and that is the marriage of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to deja robiola
and this incidence is well known.
and this incident brothers and sisters and event is an inspiration to the Muslim, especially the Muslim female and the non Muslim, female
and a spouse, both husband and wife. It's inspiration. This epitomise is what a marriage should be. This epitomise is
the institution of marriage and makes manifest how indeed marriage is a sign from the signs of a loss of a sign that above data exists. And I mean it
and you will see why as we traverse through today's session with the
At our mother Khadija bishoy Libby was a noble, elegant, determined intelligence.
I told you inspiration. She was inspirational and is inspirational to the Muslim female.
Let's say that again. And these are just a few adjectives describing. She was determined, intelligent, noble and elegant. robiola, who she enjoyed a partial limit is not just any linear, a partial lineage, lineage recognized as partial, and excellence by the origin. As Allah blessed her, with material well being, and financial standing, she was rich, and not just rich, she was said to be from amongst the richest, alive at that time, love a female, a female to Pamela, she was an entrepreneur, she was she had a business. And what did she do, she preserved her modesty.
She would hire male, and she would give them some of her wealth and let them go and trade with her
share of the profits, a percentage of the profits, right, she would give them a percentage of the profits.
This is what she would do you probably
use read for the job.
Before prophecy views reached out of this amazing person, amidst the people of Mecca. His name was Mohammed
Abdullah, his method
us reached out of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And she had nothing but greatness about,
about his manners, about his morals, about his etiquette, about his conduct, about his trustworthiness, about his intelligence in trade, about his belief in being financially independent. And we discussed this before when we discussed how he was a shepherd for a portion of a gold coin, when he looked after the herd.
Right, right. So he was a person who valued financial independence. And he was a person who knew the value of a gold coin, not just a gold coin, but a portion of a gold coin. He knew what it was to earn. He knew what money meant. He knew the weight of money in the pocket of a person, he was the one who did not have the ability to offer diligence with regards to his own wealth or somebody else's. Well, she heard amazing things about him. And this is not strange for this is somebody Salalah who said he was amazing for Prophethood and even more amazing after,
so naturally, she
wanted to hire natural, you look for the best. This is what you do. You look for the best. She wanted to hire him for her to do trade on her behalf. So she sent someone with an offer to him and offered him work what you and I will
call today a job offer and maybe a JD and if there's a job description, and we would also place the package, how many of these you get, what percentage you get what's expected of you and so on and so forth. Someone went to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, with this pack, and he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was an intelligent person. He agreed. He agreed. Right? He moved on. He was growing his skills.
He was bettering he Cz sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he knew that it's important to be well rounded. Right? Many people, the majority do not cheat. They're not shepherds. I've done that. I've done that. And I've acquired, right. And now I have an opportunity to acquire other skill sets and understand other industries and so on and so forth. So naturally, naturally, Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam went out to trade with a DJ.
And he sent one of her slaves with him. His name was me. His name was Mesa. Don't forget, don't forget that she already heard great things about himself.
Nonetheless, she says that Mesa was with him. And he was not because she didn't trust him. Allah knows best. But what I can deduce is, perhaps you wanted to understand
how true what she heard. How true are the facts that she heard about?
right to authenticate, I've heard bad things about him. Let me send someone to accompany him. right because during travel, you come out during training you come out. So perhaps we can determine exactly how he thinks about this man is sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Mesa, obviously Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was who he was, he wasn't putting on a show, based on I saw amazing things. He saw how trustworthy he was, how intelligent he was,
how he was able to look after her finances, right, and how to evaluate the money and kept account of it.
There was no negligence, and there was no lack of due diligence, and not only based on
some of the amazing blessings that Allah Subhana Allah gave to us.
Now, right, right, we have trees used to stretch the shade restriction and cover up
and so on and so forth. So this slave boy, he understood, he understood that this is amazing. There's something unique about this person. And the song went and reported it to Khadija,
testimonies that Mesa received that Mesa received well, if the battery got stronger, all of a sudden, the microphones picked up on volume
from the testimonies that macer have received regarding
in Syria when they stopped in the city, in a city in Syria, and the monk witness the tree stretching, and the shade stretching, and so on and so forth.
testimony was received by Mesa from this month, and he too went with us to Khadija or the Allahu and had right in fact, this monk said said that no one stops under the shade of this tree but a profit so that we can we get from the status, that the the the minute you have a specific tree that was specific to prophets.
Allah subhanho wa Taala inspired his prophet to stop that, and this was the testimony given, So in a nutshell Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam impressed He impressed?
And as he impressed me Allahu Allah became impressed. And she decided that she wanted to marry Russian colossal Allahu Allah he was. So she sent her friend, the feasibility, many years to tell the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
Ababa Khadija his desire to
And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam seek an intelligent man sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
and the manager Khadija robiola who
was arranged by her father who he did according to the most sound report and Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best. And the reason I'm highlighting this is because most often reports say Uncle, uncle.
I said, I said he was the one who conducted the proceedings. But the most sounds important Allah Subhana Allah knows best is that her father, who he was Khadija way did he was the one who took care of proceedings that I'm having
right off this lessons that are gonna come from these brothers and sisters. So try and hang on to every point that I say, now.
I was 40 years old at the time and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was 15 years younger. How old was he?
25 he was 25 years old. And Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best now a footnote for you all. Not only was Khadija rhodiola and her 40 years old, but she was married twice before. She was married first to a man called
alma zoomy. And she was also married to a man after that known as a boo holla.
she was married twice before the marriages didn't last. And even Kathy
Again, because there's a lesson that you and I are going to take from this.
And sisters, we heard how amazing she was before and before marriage.
She was also amazing, if not even more after marriage to us.
colossal Allahu alayhi wa sallam such that, in our Sharia, we have our sherea has cited many merits of Khadija
from her marriage is that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that the best of the females is Maria,
the mother of
Jesus peace and blessings be upon him. And he said, he was the best of females this
linear time he asked, what should we name our daughters?
Maria, Maria, and Khadija. And don't give me that argument. It's old fashioned. Don't give me that. This is upon the tongue of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. They are the best women to have
Right, right. This is where you and I give our daughters Allah bless his daughters, great role models to look up
and great lives to anticipate emulate.
So this is from the merit of Khadija she was from the best of all females, and indeed, she was the best four in the Sierra, we find that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to talk so much about Khadija even meaning especially after her demise after she passed away.
So much so that his young wife
would become. And this is nature, this is nature. You know, we have this discussions about taking on a second wife, and so on and so forth and your eyes become upset, don't be hard on them. It's also natural for them, to feel what they feel they possessive of their husbands. Right? You should acknowledge that our wives are possessive. So be sensitive, be sensitive, right? And that's why it's good to every time your wife does something. You tell her you know, I got my second spot. For instance. This is not good. This emotional blackmail is not good. Right? Right. This is emotional blackmail. And it's not good. You shouldn't do that. Because
you joking with a man when he said
you joking? How do you know how she's received it? You don't know how she's received it. Right? Right. So you shouldn't do joke like that because it's natural, that she's going to become affected negative in a negative way. Because she's possessive of us.
And as I said, be sensitive, the female say that was perceived to be sensitive.
Right, right. You need to be sensitive, my dear brothers and sisters, so I
would become upset and she would say but she Khadija was an older woman was red eyes.
You see when you get jealous what happens? This is the our mother in
history she is
she was an old woman with red eyes it was she said she was an older woman with red eyes.
And then she goes on to say and Allah compensated.
Look at these words, a lot of companies have compensated you with a better and younger meaning.
And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam became this caused him to become upset sallallahu alayhi wasallam? And he would say no, indeed, he has not compensated me with anyone better than him. This is this is meant to be just right. He's not saying
he's saying it as a fact and, and truth. Like
he was telling me the same thing I am. I am the head and the best of all of mankind. Whenever I'm not, I'm not saying it in an arrogant way. I'm saying it as a fact. It's a god given fact Allah has made me the best there's a difference. There's a difference when somebody says it out of Africa and somebody stating a fact for sure Rasul Allah who was not putting a shadow of a doubt. Rather, he was stating a fact that no, she is the best. He said
she believed in me when all others just feeling she helped me truthful when others calls me a liar. She shouted me when
she comes with me when children and children by her while depriving me of children's Love,
lessons, my dear sisters in the audience.
See the brothers are smiling. Rather than saying Oh, Mashallah, this is the best lesson today. What I've been trying to tell my wife, she's doing it for us. We'll come to you brothers. Just know inshallah.
We'll come to you in JAMA. Right? So look what he said. He was an M take note. Take note, my dear sisters, right? Take note of this. This is what she did.
And this is what Allahu alayhi wa sallam held in high regard and why there's so many lessons flying through my head right now that I have
a lot of moustache. Hello. We are loving it easy. She was one of the greatest supporters of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, a supporter of his every endeavor, and every matter and I want you to pay attention at this point because I have a lesson from this. She was a supporter in every endeavor, and every matter
even when Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam decided to do good to his uncle Abu Ali van take one son from Parliament bring him up.
And he was poor.
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
is on his feet.
And he wanted to help his uncle.
So he took one of his children, what was the child's name?
he wanted to take it and she supported his taking.
She wasn't against it. She accepted it. And it had a home in the home of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And Khadija wrote the Allahu Allah He will be led. What Allah we need a few hours it of brothers and sisters to discuss Khadija koi rhodiola who perhaps is beyond the scope of this class. But perhaps one thing that we can say before we move on is the narration in Sufi Muslim
where, where we are taught with generation where Allah teaches us a great marriage of Khadija raga la vida when we are taught that
Allah Almighty for the debris la de Sala the greatest angel
to pass greetings to her deja vu.
Imagine that. Imagine that jabril coming from Hamas Allahu alayhi wa sallam and saying Allah has passed a lamp and pass her Salaam from me as
Who are these people like Who are these people?
This is enough for us. This is enough for us to understand the merit of
he reached out
and he was selling Oh Mohammed Khadija is bringing you a bowl of food.
Khadija is bringing you a bowl of food. This is a rough translation when she comes to tell her
that her lawyer greets her and convey my greetings to convey my greetings to
Panama and inform her as well that Allah Almighty has prepared for her a calm house made out of
Panama because this law has given
this house, this is the Ministry of law but from a from a human perspective. We say she didn't you see what I mean? Look, look.
He wasn't upset about how she was there for him all the way. She made these
she made her husband's house a home so she was deserving of a house in paradise.
Let me say deserving obviously. I want to make it clear we're saying it
in terms of me to you and you and you listening to me otherwise nobody deserves anything as we discussed earlier everyone gets in front of Allah have mercy upon you. Allah Zhao is mercy upon us.
I mean, you should ask Allah for mercy brothers and sisters, Abubakar once asked Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He asked him for a to teach me to I wish I can read inshallah Teach me or prophet of Allah, to Allah for me to read in Salah. I think I told you this is one of the early episodes but for those who were not here, you'll hear it now. And for those who are here, this is a reminder. What did he says? A
and have mercy upon me. This is the point we're handling and have mercy upon me. Indeed you are the most forgiving, the Most Merciful. He was taught to ask Allah to shower
in definite versus indefinite, right? And all of you asked Allah subhanho wa Taala, either to shower all of us, we have our shower all have mercy upon us. I mean,
there are many lessons, my dear brothers and sisters as always, that we can take from this incident and event in the life of Allah Allah He was, firstly, the importance of financial independence. And we discussed this. Secondly, the importance of being trustworthy, my dear brothers and sisters being trustworthy. When you sign a contract, you honor that contract. When you are given a place in the workplace, you honor, your position, and the permission given to you to enter that you don't only work well, when there's a camera above your head, and you don't only be a person of punctuality, when there's a sign in time and sign out time or sign in machine inside, especially president.
You're a person who's on time, every time and if you leave you leave after time. And when you enter the workplace, you look after the rules and regulations of his workforce. If you're not allowed to check email you did not check in. If you're not allowed to browse the internet, you do not browse the internet. We let this Salalah
you don't need to be monitored, physically for you to be diligent. The fact that you're a Muslim should be the greatest, greatest conscience that makes you be a diligent person. The fact that you know that Allah is overseas and that Allah is Araki and that Allah is Ushahidi allies.
Forgive me I didn't mean to do those actions. We don't know how Allah sees but we acknowledge that Allah. Allah is the old Cz Albacete. Allah is a rocky he's an observer. An observer and allies a Shaheed allies the university witness over you the fact that you know your your Lord. These are from his names and attributes. This should be enough for us My dear brothers and sisters, this should be enough for us. It doesn't matter if my supervisor is not watching. It doesn't matter if my line manager is not aware. It doesn't matter if my boss was away. It doesn't matter if there's no cameras around me. What matters is Allah subhana wa tada is a universal witness over everything that I do.
This is what we learned from this story. And we haven't even gotten to the marriage yet. Right discussing the business sense of things.
We also learned my dear brothers and sisters how to be the best at what we do.
Don't just be mediocre. Be the best. Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stood out from all the males that had ijarah Viola who he was the best. He's teaching us that if you do something, do it properly. If you do something, do it properly. And this was the commander of Allah to this one man. In Nova kettlebell, he says, Chico,
Allah has commanded towards excellence in everything that everything that he has commanded excess
excess. This is a form of excellence. This is not an Omega
of average people.
It is not an omen of being average. second best. This is not the second best practices. This is not the second best for Allah subhanho wa Taala. When he revealed to this, he didn't reveal any book with the best books or any just any Angel Have you view the fire the best angel to breathe.
And not just in any language, but the language the Arabic language and not just to any prophet but the best of all Prophet Muhammad Ali Abdullah Saleh.
And when Allah chose to reveal he did not reveal it just in any event, rather, he revealed in the best of the month of Ramadan.
Ramadan, the best performance is the month of Ramadan.
Second juice the month of Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was revealed. So Allah when he chose to reveal the best book via the best angel to the best prophet
The best language, he chose the best of all months to do it. And when he, when he chose the night to do it, he did not just choose any night, he chose the best of all night, the night of power later in the
day that he indeed revealed
during the night of power on the night of power, the best of all night is the best. And when he chose the place of Revelation, he chose the best type of places.
The best, best, best, best, best, and in his best revelation of love, you can have a data set
that you this is the best of nations,
the best of all nations. What will make you understand my dear brothers and sisters, you want me to give an hour lecture on excellence and being the federal law here? The surety is not sure of any evidences and sources besides
the fact that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam was naturally inspired by Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we have been commanded to follow in his footsteps is a science It
must be the best brothers and sisters. We must be the best. Don't be this cold person, just just everything laid back, you know, somebody has to move you all the time.
Don't be that person. Be a person who's who's moving. I'm not saying be a person who acts in haste. No, you know, get some people laid back. Everything's okay. Whatever happens. I get to work on this time. It's okay. You know, Take a chill pill.
This is not this is this amazing? Is this on my values every second, my dear brothers and sisters in values every second, every second count will lie every second that takes on that clock means you and I are closer to our grave. Well law he understands us every second that takes means one second has passed. We have now we do not have that second was to make our agenda beautiful. We do not have that second was to make our scales of good deeds have
gone, it's gone. You and I always discussed this concept of squeezing the dollar the most you can get out of the dollar spent value for money. What about value for seconds? What about value? breath? The breath that you breathe? What about this? My dear brothers and sisters?
Well, I wish we had time to discuss this. I wish you know I was talking to one of the brother yesterday about having a vision. He came to me said you know I want to study Islam. I said Why? You know this, this is important. Make sure you're not wasting time. What you're doing has some purpose of meaning.
We have love bring us together to discuss vision.
And so we learn this brothers and sisters, there's no room for being mediocre. We also learn from this My dear beloved brothers and sisters and my dear mothers and fathers.
The importance of speaking
mentioning the good that people have
this slave boy he wouldn't His goodness in Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the past because
he didn't keep it hidden. He passed it on, obviously
anticipated getting information. But you understand my point. Today we quick to mention the mistakes and the good matters. We keep them hidden. We should be the opposite. The good matters, we should speak. The bad matters keep hidden. Keep hidden, unless absolutely necessary necessary. Unless you have to. And have to and have to mention it. Is that clear? This is what we learned.
We also learned my dear brothers and sisters.
The importance of I use this term due diligence a lot. It's a very common business just you know we run due diligence before we sign contracts, make sure the company is up to date. The books are in order. It's not that they're showing us something we need to get in order to make sure that no one's the books as they say. Right, right. The importance of writing due diligence when you want to get married, where do we learn this from? This is a big message for the fathers in the audience. We learned this from Saudi Arabia. She heard great things about Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. But did she use that to marry him? No, she used that.
I'll hire him because of that.
extra case means I need
to run more tests.
I need to appoint to him my slave voice to travel with her. Because people who put on a show
they can't turn that show on 24 hours a day. If you travel with someone, you got to find out who this person really is somewhere along the line. If you trade, trade Normally, you know, human desire, right? trade really brings out.
she sent him with him to
go and travel with him and monitor his trade. This is where we will see if he's putting on a show or if he talks the talk and walks the walk. Right right utilities.
When information came in, he proposed
this the lesson was the father's in the audience
will love our daughters are more precious to us than our bank balances. And to keep our bank balances hidden, I would go to should be protected as well. should be protected. We would not sign our wealth in any partnership. Except after dotting the i's and crossing the T's. Don't marry up your daughter's except after crossing the T's and dotting the eyes as well. And we go further making sure the full stops are there. And the comments are they all the punctuation marks
is your daughter is your daughter. Allah has made you a guardian over her. And when you marry her off that guardianship transfers to the husband's make sure you transfer your amanar to a wedding.
Make sure we learned this from this particular incident. We almost had a heart attack granted we understand.
And remember the statement of America, I shared it with you during the time when
an endorsement and somebody said I said how can you eat?
Have you traveled with him? Have you traded with him?
So Pamela you see how wise they were? They were wise people. They didn't have computers and and advanced medicine and astronauts and space shuttles in space. But look, they had common sense today. There's so much so much intelligence, but common sense has been
looked at how can I take your testimony when you just just judging this person based on face value? From the moment you saw him in the machine or saw him?
You know, you were on your way to a place that he was with you? This is not enough. This is not enough. You need to have done something substantial with the person that brings out their character. If you've done it then this is a lesson for us brothers and sisters those who give testimony as well. Sometimes we will come to you and say this boy this family Yeah, Mashallah. Very good family.
Firstly, if you're seeking endorsement for your daughter, go as somebody who's traded a disposable traveling person as a minimum, or whatever. Our time sights are something relevant as well.
That's the first thing. The second thing is when you are approached by somebody, and your testimony is being sought. If you really don't know say you don't know or say on face value, this is what I know.
As far as I know.
Do not see how religion is sincere advice is sincere advice. Nope. This word sincere, sincere. Not just any advice, sincere advice. Your Eman dictates that you be sincere. My dear brothers and sisters.
We also learn from his brothers and sisters that certain cultures that sort of sci fi he lay the answer proposals
as a defect as bad badness, then our Sharia abrogate that particular cultural practice and
our Sharia has taught us the importance of due diligence if you need time, when it's time time, certain cultures, if you take time what happens?
People feel feel disrespected. Why you taking time to give an answer, right? certain cultures there is this emotion present beneath the present and you say that particular belief is abrogated by the Sharia, because it does not have the sherea sherea has commanded towards utilities. Now again, I don't say we should delay giving the answer
when you have the answer.
But while you're running to deliver it, you still need to check if you still need to ask somebody who's traveled away to
For this person to return, so you can ask them and you need that time you need that time. Don't be pressured by culture to give an answer. And the reason why I'm citing This is because I have witnessed it firsthand
where answers have been given just out of the fact that you know, what if we don't, the family will look bad, and the community will treat us badly, and so on and so forth. Peer pressure, right, right. Peer pressure, no, no, no, the way off. The island is pursued has a greater right of being followed and respected and revered and feared than your culture. And then and then what people will think of is that clear brothers and sisters, and Allah Subhana Allah knows best.
I came across
a wise statement. I wanted to share it with you because it's it's related whitespace
to be a carpenter. One of the laws of carpentry is measured twice, cut once.
Measure twice, cut cut one.
Because if you cut to make a mistake, is going to cost the
same thing with our daughters brothers and sisters, measure three times, twice, measure three times and cut ones, make sure you have not put her in a home. That will make her come back to your home tomorrow. Make sure you have lots of credit who Allah protect our daughters and
bless the marriage of our daughters that have met have have entered into marriage. I mean, I mean we are lost by the words Allah protected all the marriages of Muslims.
I mean they are open.
Before we leave this point, my dear brothers and sisters, a footnote
which is related and that is
talking about the role of the Guardian as a guardian.
You must first look for a practicing Muslim who is compatible. And when you look for a practicing Muslim, look for good character. Look for someone who will fear Allah subhanho wa Taala in your daughter, listen to this look for someone who will fear Allah subhanho wa Taala in your daughter. Remember this brothers and sisters
because good character is a true sign of Bibi inshallah inshallah a person who fears Allah This is the one your daughter to marry. This is what you want you to go to tomorrow, this person will not be tight, this person will not abuse This person will not punish her physically or emotionally, your loves
the amount of cases that are coming about of females being abused if marriage is not a joke brothers and sisters, in fact, even one complaint is not a joke. It requires the community to stand up, we need talks about this member needs to be used you the Juma Pope it has to be used, whereby we make clear to the community problems that are becoming rampant and rise. And inshallah it's it's not fun. But as I said, in one case, one case is enough to nip in the bud and take the bull by the horns and educate the community about the severe panic
attacks upon the oppressors. And we discussed the other day that you are often the press press as they do out of the press person does not go answered. My dear brothers Do not Do not Do not marry people who will make against you What I mean is Do not be abusive to your spouse. Never ever be abusive to your spouse. And don't think for one minute that it's a sign of a man to the abuse of the size of the weakest person. You are the weakest of the weak if you intimidate your wife by raising your voice and by Manhattan, you are the weakest. I told you the other day when we touched on the point related. Lisa, she was sort of the straw man is not the restaurant.
No, the strong man is the man who can suppress his anger when he becomes angry. And voila he's suppressing anger is from the axe.
It's from the signs of the people of taqwa. You don't believe me? What does Allah subhanho wa Taala say?
The fourth choose in the fourth choose Allah subhanho
wa sarioglu ella Fierro team.
Allah subhanho wa Taala, zz and march forth towards the forgiveness of your Lord and a paradise, a paradise that has a universe which is greater than the heavens and the earth, a paradise created for the people of taqwa, who are the people of Allah, Allah tells us, Allah says,
taqwa are those who spend from their wealth, at times of ease, and at times of difficulty, they always spending for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. What we mean? And they are those who suppress anger when they become angry. Well, Athena and Dinesh and the four people, two people, it's a habit of this to give the people Hama sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam, the greatest example for you and I, in terms of having a habit to forgive the people when I've been
And brothers and sisters, Allah will love you for suppressing your anger.
Because Allah says those who suppress them are those who do good. And Allah loves to do so.
Once a person came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and said Oh, silly advice. He said, he said advice. He said, he said, advise me. He said,
this person's advice was three times the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
we build our agenda when we with our spouses, make sure it's agenda building exercise, not a random building exercise, brothers and sisters will not forgive us. I mean, I mean, so brothers and sisters, look for a personal character. This is what
I did. Find someone who will see Allah subhanho wa Taala in your daughter. And even even though it's sad, and even though we're running out of time, I must add this addition. And that is, it's not enough if the boy is a hospital, or graduate from some established University. I hate to say it, but sadly, it's true.
Institutions nowadays, teach what they're supposed to teach. They rarely give you
and teach you proper Islamic morals and manners and etiquette.
So it doesn't mean that a person has memorized the Quran that by default is going to be from the best people that exist in our times. So don't be against shall. Yes, yes, praise what he was half. And he's a graduate from any standing Institute, but plus, plus sign good.
Plus sign, good character. And Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best.
related with my dear brothers and sisters as well. And that is our question. Are we allowed to go forward with our daughters if we see a good boy, we see a good boy and we have a daughter? Are we allowed to go forward and propose? What do you know? Yes, and this will learn from honey jar Oh, and this is what she did.
And there's nothing in Islam that abrogated this or taught us that this was a wrong practice. Right? There's nothing in Islam that taught us this was a practice. We need to do that today. Especially since fathers we supposed to keep our daughters protected.
Keep them modern. Today's panel I'm amazed by some of the parents
to be out to the boys can see the mothers How will they get married?
Where are you adopting? We use common sense.
What has happened? Common sense is not so common. Or maybe it's become Zimbabwe.
Zimbabwe currency doesn't exist anymore. What?
I'm amazed by the stages
it's your job to get your daughter married you keep a lookout and hamdulillah you go to the masjid you frequent the right places.
Allah subhana wa tada increase.
This you know, we spoke about Khadija even if you look at the story of Musa was the man from
the old wise man from my dad. Did he offer his daughter to him?
He did enjoy
He offered his office, Allah Subhana. Allah teaches us that Musa alayhis salam, he helped us the two females and they went to tell the father about this person, he came forward. And he said
he also you're saying, I want to get married to you, one of my two daughters, I'm offering you one of my two daughters.
So this was the way of wise people as well. And the prophets of Allah subhanho wa Taala accepted it as a way, right? Right. So don't feel and again, this is the thing culture, our daughters like
you've wanted your daughter, you are proactively looking for her for the rest of her life, putting her down and making her cheap, cheap. This is you doing a duty which Allah has put upon you understand this, my dear brothers and sisters, also from the Sahaba
Allah who offer his daughter to his man.
And then to Abu Bakr, radi Allahu
Allahu alayhi wa sallam. Marita did he not know? We know the famous story. He was getting upset. Why is it being accepted Abubakar also not being accepted, because Allah had a greater plan that the best man married his daughter hammertone Allahu
Allah subhanho wa Taala. Grant our sisters, the best of husbands, I mean, and grant our brothers the best of wives. We also learn from his brothers and sisters that marriage or the marriage of
a modest, proper manner, in a modest, proper manner. No one can say it was an improper marriage. We've seen her father
or in some other generations, her uncle took care of the affair. And Khadija Raja Mohan has sent someone to tell us a lot
of you have a desire to get married. Not so who's done property was none of this girlfriend, boyfriend business and the life Right, right. And no one
can can poke a finger.
He was one of the many enemies and the many things they like about him and and blainley his modesty or the modesty of the Allahu
hamdulillah so look.
Look how proper This was done. Remember, he said was colossal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said that he was sent to complete the most noble of characters, which means these people had some very good qualities. They had some very good qualities. Right, right. And this is from one of the qualities.
We also learned brothers and sisters is that the manager was Rasul Allah Allah He was, was a substantial marriage not a shallow marriage. But one of these quote unquote Love,
love marriages. Or something comes to me I fell in love with it some have Allah Do you need to go to the hospital? He gets confused. So what happened? I said you just told me you fell falling was never good.
Whenever was only good for you.
Right? You fell in love you fell when you fall you get hurt.
Right? And same to our sisters. It's nothing to fall in love. It's time for us to grow in love.
you grow in love with each other you don't fall in love with each other. When things fall deeply
when we were in school I was one of my teachers he marriages there's a study that takes marriages last seven years
or seven years this love after seven years the love
Islam tells us to grow in love look at the marriage of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam with Aisha was a teacher of substantial Mashallah. Mashallah nothing of you know, we have to go out together and see you know how she is and she wants to see how he is that you know, you get married how you know voting your marriage becomes such a boring marriage You met that What color was your favorite
restaurant what she likes to eat? What is it? You already bought? Yeah, you got married and there was nothing for you to learn.
What's where's the fun event?
surely, surely Oh service of life.
Marriage is always the best way.
Possible. avasarala Perfect.
Perfect. We just had when she passed away
even is otherwise to becoming jealous, growing in love, even after one passes away another man, the party that stayed behind every every week day has grown. You know what we learn from this era from the sooner that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, if there was an elephant that was slaughtered, he would send it as a gift to the Friends of hedgerows
because of His love, love, love, loves growing love for your loved one. This is what he used to do. This is what he used to do. I think I just I don't have to share for the evidences. It's clear. It's clear.
nobody's looking at the time today because this topic is very interesting for Shama.
So brothers and sisters, when you plant when you plant halau seeds, you have hell on
your marriage from the outside is hella everything about America and be good. If you plant her own seeds. Tomorrow expect problems. May Allah forgive us, except marriages that Allah then showers mercy upon because they asked.
I'm not saying it's doom and gloom. If you made a mistake before allies before Rahim, turn to Allah subhana wa jal and seek forgiveness, right? This is what should teach your children Hello. gives birth. Hallelujah fruits Hello. Mashallah, the rain is running as well. This is a topic of Baraka
Saurus, the manager of avasarala, who had great support.
And this is also manifest after prophet with Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So, one of the most scariest things a person can see
he was mine. And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam saw him
below the ground. And he's about to have hundreds of wings. If you open one, they'll be traffic jams all the way to the west. And if you open the other traffic jams all the way to the mighty angel. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam sees him and his human
and he runs Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, to his wife.
And she says to him, don't worry, Allah, Allah.
Allah will never ever ever ever disgrace
I've seen you You're a good man. You're honest. You help the poor, you maintain relationship. Don't worry.
What you solve will get the answer to it but now calm down. Now look at the soothing voice look at these soothing words for law II brothers and sisters if you have wives that can do this for you ally by them another gold scepticism
I told you told you sisters, I'm coming back to support
they deserve because many many sisters it's sad to say again today they don't have this character and quality with their husbands.
very selfish relation relationship.
Your husband comes home from work to stress. Make your home as opposed Oh, that's how you make your home and by being a spouse by being a spouse not what she said to him. And then it wasn't only that, he said don't worry, we'll find out. We'll go to Africa I have someone relative to find out the reality here. But look, she's because she took over.
Right? A person is quote unquote de capacitated what happened she took over
strangers to one another to one another support to one another. She's calming him down Don't worry. He should drop the blankets and don't worry alone.
This can only be good because you are only a good person and we will find the explanation.
Brothers and sisters married marriage ally we have to finish this today. And I know the listeners are listening they don't mind this this going up to a quarter past tense. But we will finish it will finish or it will finish what Leisha brothers and sisters.
You know Allah subhanho wa Taala describes he described the loss of Hannah who are to Allah the reality of marriage in his book Allah says woman I tea and Holla Holla unfussy come as a janitor, why Lita, la what's your
Allah says and from the signs that Allah exists and from the signs that lead you to Allah look
Look what Omar says this is no small matter.
roping in our attention, that if you want to know about Allah and that Allah is the truth, then the site one of the signs that show you this is the fact that he created you from yourselves mates,
that you may find tranquility with them in in them in LA, you will extract peace from them.
So halala, a person who will make your brick and steel, a home and an abode. That's what makes a home online. It's not the fancy design and architecture. It's the reality and nature of the female. Allah says the testicle la that you may take piece from how well
and Allah has placed between you you both know what
substantial hope is also loved in the Arabic language, but it's not as deep as
in depth love.
Allah says, In Depth love, and mercy law, somebody said you see in depth love for when the honeymoon period when they always maintain each other overlook each other's mistakes, because there's love and mercy when they get old and the love finishes that they'll be messing with one another. Even though they have mistakes they overlook.
This word messiness, this is what Allah has.
You know, I remember when I was in my early years of studying Islam, one of my teachers said, you know, you must not have a marriage, the marriage of grocery packets, I said, marriage of grocery packets, what's the marriage of grocery packets? He said, You don't know the marriage of grocery packets? I said, No. What is the matter of grocery packets? I've never heard this. Is this.
was the manager of grocery factories all over the world, that Allahu Allah, what is the chef, he says this
The spouses have two grocery packets, one grocery packet on the right hand side, and one in the left hand. When the spouse does good to them, they put it in the good pack. And when the spouse does bad to them, they put it in the backpack. But there's a big problem, I suppose the problem here, he said, the good packet is a hole at the bottom.
So whenever the good is being deposited, it's falling out. So the day a problem arises, the spouse looks at the good sees nothing, looks at the bad.
And says you are nothing but a problem.
No, we shouldn't have had the marriage of grocery packets, brothers and sisters.
We also learn from this zero, or this incident is
value of the art of responsibility versus the art of rights.
There's art, which is the art of responsibility. And there's our which is the art of rights. Many marriages today are based on rights.
It's as if there's a bank balance between husband and wife, husband deposits, wife deposits, husband withdraws, wife photos, and then they close the books at the end of the day. If one day the wife and the husband husband's a problem, one day husband is more than the wife
wife's a problem.
of the bank account,
deposits and withdrawals. This is not marriage, brothers and sisters. This is not married. Marriage, it tells you emotions.
Right, right. Usual consensus. There has to be cohesion. We can't have marriages based on the art of rights. Yes, the right side the rights of the husband, the rights of the wife. Yes, yes. But when do we look at rights when there's no way forward for this marriage?
Then we say okay, let's look at the rights and see who's right and who's wrong. But there's another sphere and another circle known as the art of responsibility. And this fear is far greater than the order of rights. This is where you understand that I am a wife to my husband, and my husband is a husband to me or the husband says my husband to my wife, and she's a wife to me. It's not just for tax. It's not just for taxes. And we learn about having marriages are based on responsibility from the story brothers and sisters. Let's look at it Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
It was his right to provide the house for a DJ but he was not
one thing you say is that you know what you're supposed to be provided, but you're not providing. So I'm going to do ABCD and you can't complain because you're living in my house. No.
Let's move further.
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wants to look after whose house do you think he's coming? Khadija his house? She says you're not providing me for a house. It's my right. house. And now you want to bring your nephew. Yeah, your cousin has gonna bring your cousin here. It was because it
was his cousin cuz you want to bring your cousin here. Now we can talk to him as well. What about me? What about my privacy? What have you done to me? No, she happily welcomed me. And the books of history say she looked after it as if it wasn't.
Is that the art of rights without responsibility?
responsibility I my wife, husband first.
Now, let's rewind.
I told you at the beginning,
I was married how many times before twice she had a child even Katherine, it'll be die when they die. And other scholars. I recall reading this in the Bible.
And I recall reading this also in a part of and
they say that
she had a child called him
Allahu alayhi wa sallam saying, My challenge.
My responsibilities to you. My the right is between me and you. Not this boy here. He absolutely not. Absolutely not. He was like a father to him. This is what's the books of history say? him he preferred him as a father of anybody else. You see my dear brothers and sisters? responsibilities? Not always nitpicking.
So Pamela, you know, there's so much we can say there's so much we can say. Hello,
folks, I want you to go online as your homework. Number one is
the personality trait versus the character trait. I want you to listen to this talk. It's a short talk. Google in the personality trait versus the character trait. Sajid Ouma, it will come up in Google a brief talk, it's going to help you understand why you should be extra careful before you marry your daughters find out exactly the character of people, the personality versus the character, the personality trait versus the character trait. So I did remember googling, it will come up the next talk.
Responsibility versus Dr.
sajama. It's an 18 minute talk. It was a demo I took
the referees are about to not pull out cards, they're about to come up with sticks now. So I'm just giving you giving you the the the talks that you can go look, go and listen to responsibility versus rights in marriage search in Google, it will come up with an 18 minute talk 18 to 20 minutes, it was a Juma talk that I did in Zimbabwe. If I recall, the audios, then listen to it. When you do that. Insha Allah barakallahu if you can, if you find it beneficial. Spread it. We also learn brothers and sisters, this is the last thing I'm going to say the importance of not closing the doors to widows in our society, for Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. This is the second last thing I want to
say. Because there's one more point I want to say before we get it just, I have to say to complete it.
salallahu alayhi wasallam
if you don't have the ability to, as I said, support a widow because you love them.
And you want to celebrate his life sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he married a widow that he loved and never loved anybody else like for his wife's sallallahu alayhi wasallam Right. Right. So celebrate his life go find a way to support her, support her support her children. Right? widows children needs a father figure as well. Be they in some way, shape or form to advise. They also Muslims they have a right to grow up to be amazing in society. Especially since you and I are interdependent beings. If one Muslim is not carried away, even though you think it's not affecting you believe it's affecting you because Allah made us interdependent. We all have to carry our
weight. So we should feel the need to even go and do some good for the widows children so they can grow up to be excellent as well for the community needs this My dear brothers and sisters, may Allah grant us the understanding. The last thing is, this is how you answer backpack the enemies of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and say things about Allah.
I cannot get myself to say because he married the Allahu Allah. They say things about him. May Allah guide if they say things about him. This is the response that you're talking about a man who am 25 married a widow who was married twice before and she was 14, almost twice his age.
This is the evil of looking always at half of the story and not looking at the other half. Not being just May Allah guide them and May Allah forgive us for our weakness in not defending the honor of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam
but I mean, brothers and sisters so much can be said well lucky. So much can be said. But this is the dunya time comes and time goes in gender we have unlimited time. I love you know for the sake of Allah, Allah grant us the understanding everything correct said is from Allah subhanho wa Taala is perfect. And any mistakes are from myself and she upon and I seek Allah subhanho wa Taala forgiveness, please take care. Please get your action plans together. Tomorrow. The last 10 nights began. And you and I have a lot to do Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Subhan Allah subhanaw taala humba will be having deca Nasha de la ilaha illa and Mr. Furukawa to boo la