Safi Khan – Soul Food Imam al Ghazali’s 21st and 22nd advice
AI: Summary ©
The speaker gives advice on devotion to God and not just traveling, emphasizing the importance of devotion to God and not just on traveling. They stress the need for action and taking action, avoiding bad deeds, and showing a positive mindset. The importance of protecting privacy and honor, settling in public, and being a proof of Islam is emphasized. The speaker also discusses the importance of avoiding negative comments and arguing with people who say things that don't make sense.
AI: Summary ©
Okay.
Alright.
Sorry. We're having some Internet issues, but we've
got everything together. So we're gonna go ahead
and get started.
So we are continuing on well, welcome back
to Soul Food. For those of you who
are new, welcome to the first session of
Soul Food for you. We are continuing
on studying this book by Imam Al Ghazali
and it's called Eiyu Halwala. So it's basically
a book where that has now been compiled
into a book, but it's a list of
advices that he gives to his student.
And the interesting thing about this is that,
you know, when you're reading a book that's
intended for a reader,
there's a certain way that different thought processes
and different things are presented.
And this particular
book or that we're reading is not presented
for a reader because it's talking about an
actual interaction that has a certain Right? And
you are probably wondering, like, if we've been
going through this for so many weeks, this
is a very long conversation
that has been had in the past, but
that is something that you actually don't find
it to be very,
abnormal,
especially when it comes to Islamic literature. So
you'll find that a lot of Islamic literature
has been compiled by actually the students of
the teachers.
So you you know, nowadays, we publish our
own books and things of that nature like
if someone's very good at a topic or
they're very good in the subject or they
are well versed in something, they may purpose
purchase,
publish
their own publication.
But back then, they would teach and their
students would then write and publish that for
them. So you have that this is one
of those types of situations.
So we are in the 21st
advice.
I spent, like, 40 minutes telling that,
no. We're starting in the 20th advice. And
he's like, okay. Whatever you want. Whatever you
say. And then I looked and I was
like, actually, we're starting in the 21st. You're
right. Okay. Fasting frame. Right? So
we're in the 21st advice
and this particular advice comes after a very
long
portion of the book and the long portion
of the book is that he has gone
through a lot of preliminary things. He has
gone through things like when it comes to
how do you dedicate yourself to God. He's
talked about the Hajjid, and we spent I
feel like that was, like, super powerful that
we time talking about that in Ramadan because
it was, like, a good time to, like,
really build that part of you. So he
talks about vigor, you know, going through the
remembrance of God and how to have that
remembrance. And then he talks about, you know,
like, you know, different people who observe different
things from other people, mentorships, the importance
of when you're accompanying someone or having a
level of companionship
that you're getting something out of that situation.
You're not just blinded
or you're not just blind following, but rather
you're paying attention to the world around you.
And after talking about all of that and
kind of bringing us,
giving us awareness of ourselves
and who we are and where we can
build from there, now he spends time talking
about devotion to God,
Okay? Now he says, alright, since I've given
you all of these tools before
and this is not the end of the
book, so he gives this advice, but he
has so many other things to say after
this. He tells us to now spend time
devoting yourself to Allah.
So he says
He says that if you decide to rush
towards Allah
or you decide to really dedicate yourself towards
God
or if you travel
the world
and you see, okay? If you travel around,
you will see that
you will be there's so many things to
be amazed by. Right? If you travel, you
will see that there's so many things to
be amazed by.
Why did he do you think he chose
the verbiage of traveling?
Oh, my questions are not rhetorical for the
new people.
And for the old people,
I'm back. I said that 2 weeks ago
and then I didn't come following week, but
I'm back back. Okay.
Why do you think he chose the verbiage
of traveling?
If you travel, you will see and you'll
be amazed by the things around you. And
we're talking in the context of devotion to
God.
Undiscovered area. And usually when they're in a
new area, you're more aware of your surroundings.
But if you're in the same place, everything
kinda
it's just normal to you. You don't even
notice the.
Very good. Usually when you travel, you you
get exposure to other things. Right? And I
think Asadullah Behnam covered this a little bit
before in the previous,
in the previous session
where Allah says, do you not travel around
the Earth and see?
I think the the what the author is
calling us to is to devote ourselves to
Allah.
When you are in a situation
where maybe it's very tough, it's very hard,
very hard situation,
Sometimes you're very blinded. You don't see any
blessings. You don't see anything good. You're like,
this is a this is my life. It
sucks and it constantly has sucked and I
don't know how to get out of this.
Right?
But then you
maybe go somewhere else, change your environment,
maybe you talk to someone from a different
perspective and then you see a different way
of looking at that challenge or and or
you see a different blessing that has come
into your life.
Sometimes what happens with our devotion to Allah
is that we get so mundane in our
everyday practice, we get so mundane in just
our everyday life
that we forget about how miraculous God is.
We forget about how limitless Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala is. We forget actually the role that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is supposed to play
in our life.
So it's very possible that sometimes the opposite
effect happens. Things are going great in your
life. You're chilling, you know, got your classes
on time, got the new job you wanted,
all of these things
and it may mean that you're catching some
of your prayers.
But as soon as something goes wrong, what
do you do?
Oh well, why me?
Why me?
Things were going so good. They were going
so great. But how was your connection to
God?
How was your dedication to Allah?
How was your devotion to Allah? Your submission?
Right?
When we call ourselves Muslim, we're saying that
we are people who are submitting to Allah.
We are submitting, we are devoting ourselves to
Allah. What does it mean to devote yourself
to Allah? Someone tell
me. What does that mean?
To choose.
Okay.
To not say
that the intention is is present, then you're
making a choice to to be as an.
Very good. To make the active decision and
choice
to choose Allah. Very good. Anybody else? What
does it mean to devote yourself to Allah?
To make sacrifices in the in the.
Okay. What does that mean?
Very
good. It takes a level of sacrifice. But
there are sometimes there's something there may be
even something that you really wanna do.
Like you really you're like, I wanna do
this. This seems like a very good idea,
but it goes against what God has told
me to do. And there's no part of
you that feels like it logically makes sense
why you can or cannot do that thing.
But you decide that, okay, I'm going to
stop it, I'm not gonna do this, or
I will, like, only solely because God has
told me to do so. Right?
Your connection and devotion with Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala,
some people can people have different levels of
connection, different ways of connecting with God.
But you wanna constantly feed into your soul.
You wanna constantly feed into that connection. And
then I have that, you know, I
that really
brings this to my mind is that in
search of, Ankabut, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says
that
know that prayer, okay, is something
that should
deter you
from doing things that are immoral, from wrong,
from corruption, things of that nature. It doesn't
mean that prayer makes you perfect, okay? Because
we're human. Right? So I can't say that
if you pray, you will never sin again.
But But this ayah says that know the
prayer
deters you from these types of immoralities. We're
doing things, corruption, all this stuff.
And when we talk about devotion to Allah,
we are devoting ourselves to what God has
asked us to do, what God has asked
us to away from regardless of how we
feel about that situation.
It is pulling your feelings to the side
but knowing that Allah knows better, right?
And sometimes
those things creep up into your life. They
do. Those mistakes, they creep up. Those sins,
they creep up.
But what is one thing that can help
you keep Allah, you know, at the forefront?
What is one thing that can help you
keep Allah in your brain? It's your salah.
Now
we can say salah in the 2 second
prayer that you pray or the salah that
you also pour into to help develop that
connection.
Right? Because it's all about it being real.
It's not about it being like
fluffy,
you know, it's not about it being fake,
and we're gonna talk about that in a
in a second. But actually pouring into that,
when you get to know who Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala is more, you're able to develop
that relationship with Allah more.
When you know, for example,
that you're struggling with the situation
you're struggling with something or you're struggling with
finances
and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is Ar Razaq,
he's the one who provides,
All of a sudden that relationship that you
have with God took on a different dimension.
It took on a different form. It took
on a different phase.
You know, maybe you're struggling with how you
feel about yourself or how people how you
peep think people feel about you.
And you know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is the all loving, alwadu,
that gives you a different way. It gives
you a different feeling towards Allah. Maybe you're
struggling with feeling God's mercy,
and you're worried about how merciful He is
and how He has so many different names
for Him being merciful
in so many different forms
and all of a sudden your relationship with
Allah feels a little bit better.
And you're able to pour that into your
conversations with them. You're able to pour that
into your dua. You're able to pour that
into your salah.
And so he tells his student here that
you should
devote yourself to Allah.
He keeps on going by saying he then
quotes a a a basically a scholar. A
scholar of Tezakiya, a scholar of spirituality.
And that scholar of spirituality
before that he says,
This is interesting because when you're talking about
devotion,
it doesn't just say he doesn't just use
the terminology of, like, submitting yourself.
It's a form, right? He doesn't use the
terminology of submitting yourself.
Rather, he uses the terminology
of
exerting a lot of energy to, like, tame
something.
Exerting some energy to, like, put something into
his place.
And what this shows is kinda what you
were mentioning is that your devotion to Allah,
it doesn't just happen by saying, Okay, I'm
dedicating myself to God.
It doesn't just happen like that. It happens
through action and that action takes energy and
sometimes it's difficult.
Sometimes it is a harder struggle.
Sometimes there are things that you may not
struggle with. Like, I know people who don't
struggle with fasting.
Like, it's like, oh, yeah. That's all Monday,
Thursday.
I'll fast all the extra days. I'll fast
this. I'll do that. Like, it's nothing. It's
like, yeah. This
is great.
Outside of running that fast for me, I'm
like, I have to commission myself 4 days
ahead. I'm like, you got this. You can
do I'm like, hi, team. Texting my friends.
Like, make sure you remind me that this
is what we gotta do. This is how
it this is how it's going down. You
know? Outside Ramadan, it's like, okay. You're doing
this with me because I need to feel
like Ramadan.
Yeah. I try I'm that friend that traps
my other friends into stuff. I'm like, yeah.
We're gonna do this together,
you know?
And that's it. But there may be other
things that I may not struggle with. So
your devotion to Allah, there will be parts
of it that have ease, that is easy,
that you're like, I can do this. This
makes sense. And there are parts of it
that are just faith based. They're literally a
leap of faith. You don't understand it and
you're like, this is very difficult for me,
but this is me submitting myself and sacrificing
what I think I know for knowing that
Allah knows better.
And then he continues and he says
that
this,
this
scholar of Tuskegeeya, he told his one one
of his students,
If you feel like you're ready to devote
your soul, devote yourself to Allah, submit yourself
to God, do what God has asked you
to do, do, and try your best to
stay away from what God has asked you
to stay away from, and really just
be there, you know, be in that relationship
between you and Allah, then you can come,
then come to me and I'll be your
teacher, basically.
And then he says, but
if you don't,
then don't busy yourself with like the different
kind of like random practices of people who
claim spirituality.
And the reason why this is very interesting,
it's a very important point and this is
like my ending point,
is because
when we think about spirituality
and we think about our devotion to Allah
or sometimes we may think about the most
pious person
we know or we think we know.
A lot of it is based off of
what we perceive by our eyes as practice.
And so sometimes we're like, okay, the way
that I have to devote myself to God
or the way that I get closer to
Allah is by doing a 100,000 nafo
and, you know, doing vicar to the point
where when someone talks to me, I can't
reply to them and, you know, being a
certain way. You know, I have to be
this very excessive way in order to have
a relationship with Allah. What this what the
teacher literally told her student is that if
you're ready to come
and come as you are, like come
as you are, ready to devote yourself to
Haba and just build on who you are,
that's fine.
But if you're not ready for that, then
just don't go to anybody else who's gonna
give you these random practices
because that is not a true connection with
Allah.
A true relationship with God is you recognizing
that Allah created you to be you. He
created you as who you are. But guess
what? There are parts of you that can
be better and you're just working on being
the best version of yourself.
You're working on presenting yourself to Allah on
the day of judgement with the best product
that you could probably possibly work on, you
know, in this world. It's not for you
to be a different person. You don't have
to go to some scholar and they tell
you, hey, Ahmed, now you have to turn
into this Muhammad. You don't have to do
that.
You don't have to do that. But they
say, okay, you need to get rid of
completely this part of your personality.
It it doesn't make sense because Allah created
you with the personality that you have. Allah
created you with the character that you have.
Allah Subhana created you with the qualities that
you have.
And your living in this world is just
to develop them to be better.
It's just to be the best version of
you who God created.
And that's part of devoting yourself to Allah.
How amazing is it that we're doing this
and we're devoting ourselves to Allah
and at the end of the day the
results only benefit us. Doesn't benefit Allah in
any way.
How incredible is
that? And so here he ends off by
saying this to his student, saying this that
don't get caught up in the facade.
Don't get caught up in the flex. Like
it's not real.
Then your devotion to Allah and if you're
ready to do that and you're ready to
step into that realm, you don't have to
be a different person to do that. You
can be you and you can be and
that's gonna help you develop and become the
best version of yourself.
So that is,
advice number 21.
Think you only have, like, 20.
Okay.
Sorry. I'm running over. Run over. You're good.
Okay. Assalamu alaikum.
Okay. So now continuing,
Imam Al Azadi,
he
gives now
he gives some advice. And Imam Mozaadi's advices
are always really good, but they're always very
long. And so this is like the last
session, or I think there's one more of
the book. And the reason why is because
he gives,
8 things that everyone needs to pay attention
to.
And before we begin, he says,
that I'm gonna give you advice on 8
things.
He says,
that take them from me, right, and accept
them.
That you're going to be able to act
upon them
and do them,
in totality
with completeness.
Okay? But then he says something interesting,
and he says that,
if you don't act on these things, he
says that your knowledge will become an enemy
from you on the Day of Judgment.
So everything that we know,
everything that we do, it's something that ultimately
is either for us or against us. There's
nothing that remains neutral.
Okay? If we know that we have to
pray fajr, if we wake up for fajr,
it's for us. But if we don't, it's
not just, like, casual. It's not just, like,
neutral. He says that
your knowledge will become
your enemy on yomulkayama, that will become something
that stands against you. So everything that we
learn has to be seen in that, like,
sort of
cautious light. You know, they say ignorance is
bliss. It's not true, actually. Right? Because if
we don't know something, then we're not acting
accordingly. But if we know something, then we
have the responsibility
to at least try and act on it.
Okay? Then he says,
act on 4 things. Do 4 of the
8 that I'm going to tell you, and
then he says,
and
repel or stay away from 4 of these
things.
There is
a hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam,
he says that,
that whatever I have forbidden from you, stay
away from it. And whatever I've commanded you
to do,
then do it as much as you can
within your ability.
What is the concept
of
what do you guys think about doing good
versus staying away from bad? Which one is
better to do?
Doing good or staying away from bad?
Okay. Who thinks it's doing good?
Doing something good is better. Now they're both
good. I'm not saying one's bad, one's good.
They're both great. If you stay away from
anything bad, it's good. But who thinks it's
better to do good?
Okay. Why?
Okay.
Good. Yeah. Excellent. Good points. Anyone else?
Okay.
Very good. Anyone else?
Okay.
Interesting.
These are good thoughts. Anyone else? Who thinks
it's who thinks it's better for a person
to be able to stay away from something
bad than it is to do something good?
Why do you think that?
So staying away from bads,
I think someone could as well. It is
very good. Yeah. Of course. But why do
you think it's to them once. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, interesting. I see what you're saying. Okay.
It's like a n
one.
Yeah. Okay. Synaptic agent might be increased. Okay.
Good thoughts. So yes.
Mhmm.
Like, you might know the knowledge, but then,
like, as time goes on and on, there's
time to get that. It's like, that's what
you're seeing more so that can make a
conscious effort and work harder to do to
it, so that makes it harder to do
it. That's very interesting that you said that.
So
there's actually no, like, conclusively definitively right answer,
but there are, like, some of the great
scholars of Hadith. When they looked at the
Hadith of the prophet,
he said, you know, whatever I've forbidden from
you, don't do it. Whatever I've commanded you,
do for whatever you can.
Right? Mastotashim.
Whatever you are able to do. So the
scholars actually, they got together and they discussed,
okay, what do you think is better, staying
away from bad or doing good? And they
said that
foundationally,
trying to stay away from something that is
evil
is
in its own way more critical than even
doing good deeds.
Why? Now we know that again, like I
said, both are both we have to do.
But the point you brought up what was
your name? Esrat. Esrat, the point you brought
up is very important, very crucial, it's something
we don't think about. Doing a bad deed
and doing something wrong, it doesn't just disappear.
You know? It's not like I say something
bad, or I backbite, or I curse, or
I do and then it's like, oh, okay.
It's done. Like, let me just go on
by my way. That's not that's not how
it works.
When I do something wrong,
that thing lives within me.
And that thing, the prophet
said that, it makes a blemish on the
heart of a person.
And the heart ultimately is the decision maker
of the body. And so when I do
something wrong, and my heart is covered in
these blemishes
have you guys ever driven, and your windshield
is dirty and you don't have windshield wiper
fluid?
Oh my god. And you have to get
out and, like, pour some water on it,
and then, like you know what I'm talking
about? How difficult is it to see clearly
when you have dirt all over your windshield?
You can't.
And so the heart can't function
towards the beauty of doing good, righteous deeds
if it's covered in blemishes.
And so what you said is actually very
key, which is sometimes,
right,
doing things that are wrong actually repels us
from being able to do something that is
right.
Okay?
If we
if we stay out
all night,
you know, late night doing something that's wrong,
what is the likelihood of waking up for
Fajr and praying?
It's pretty low. Right?
But when you have what I call a
hiatus, a hiatus Friday, which is you don't
go out, you don't do it, you just
kinda go to sleep at a normal time.
The likelihood of you waking up for FEDRA
on time is much higher.
Right? Because you made the decision to stay
away from things. Again, staying up late is
not forbidden, but you all know what I
mean. Right? So
the scholars say,
try your best to at least foundationally stay
away from the wrong things.
And then,
like the prophet said, whatever you're able to
do, do from the good deeds. Right? So
prayer, fasting, of course, obviously, sadaqah, all these
5 pillars that we know, and anything else.
But the least you can do is hold
yourself back. The other reason why it's more
challenging to do something good is because it
takes, like, motivation and action
as opposed to just not doing something. I'll
give you another example. Right?
Days that I work out.
Okay. I'm like, man, I have to work
out. I gotta exercise.
Or I'm like, I could just not eat
bad food today.
I'll just eat lettuce
all day. Right? Days where I know I
can't go exercise,
I just keep my intake very low that
day because I know that I can't go
do that good. So sometimes being able to
hold back, like you said, it's like a
2 for 1.
Right? If I know or maybe I can't
go earn some extra money, so I'm just
gonna stop spending.
Because I know that I if I if
I don't have enough hours that week at
work to make it up, then I just
can't I'll go I got I'm gonna have
to, you know, rice and lentils it is
at home.
You know what I mean? I don't know
why people do that. Rice and lentils is
like I like it, by the way. I
like it. It's probably the reason why I
am the size that I am. It's got,
like, rice and lentils. Okay? I, like, go
to my friend's house, and they're like, oh,
you want dog travel? Like, we're not feeding
that. I'm like, that's what I want. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You're not *. Especially if it's
good. No. But that's what I want. Especially
if it's good.
So so the reality is that being able
to, like, hold yourself back is its own
skill. So, you know, that's why he says,
you know, he says,
to to to to do 4, but also
to stay away from 4. So he's teaching
us now, there's 4 things I need you
to do, and there's 4 things I need
you to stay away from. So what does
he say? The first he says
is,
do not dispute.
That do not argue with people.
Don't become
a argumentative person
as much as you are able to do
so.
Okay?
That because in argumentation,
the majority of what you'll find at the
end of an argument
is just destructive things, bad things.
Is it possible that an argument can lead
to something good? Yes. But how many times
out of a 100 does an argument lead
to good things? Isn't it shocking when you
argue with somebody and things are okay at
the end? It's like a shock. You're like,
wow. We're still friends.
Why do we feel that way? Because arguments
generally lead to bad things.
So he says, look, the first thing I'm
gonna tell you is
stay away from. He's not even saying do
this. He's just saying don't do this.
Right? So he's giving you the 4 things
to stay away from first.
Number 1, do not argue.
Do not become people who argue and dispute
as much as you can. Now there will
be some times
where you're gonna have to,
you know, take the gloves off and go
into the ring. Right? There will be some
times where you're gonna have to do that.
That's fine. But if you do it all
of the time,
if you're constantly arguing,
then that time will not even matter. People
will just say, here they go again.
Right? It's kinda like,
I was telling my wife, we were talking
about, like, parenting
and, like, our kids, and we're like you
know?
It's like a half time. We have to,
like, refigure out our strategy every day. So
I was like, alright. What are we gonna
do? What are we gonna do? And one
thing that we've set on from the very
beginning
that we are really, really trying to be
good about,
is not yelling at kids. Not yelling. You
know why? Because when you yell at kids,
and many of you probably have this experience
maybe even growing up at Love Bless Our
Parents. When you yell at kids,
then you know what? Yelling stops mattering.
It stops. Like, if a person if they
yell at you because you left the cabinet
open or you
drank poison, like, the the the the weight
of the yelling is irrelevant.
Right?
But if if a person can maintain their
emotional state and remain very even
and they and even when they're a little
bit disappointed, their voice doesn't go up. They
just kinda say, well, I mean, I I
really wish you didn't do that, like that.
Then when naturally
a person gets very shocked and upset and
their voice may get higher,
what is the impact of that moment? It's
much greater,
much much greater. And this is why the
prophet, salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
he was so kind and merciful and generous
to kids and people and everybody, that when
he had a moment,
you know, like, something seriously went down.
Okay?
Al Hassan al Hussein,
you know, they
were so beloved to the Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, he used to do so many
things for them, dude.
He used to let them climb him during
salah.
He used to let them play. They used
to run around the masjid. He even one
time the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
came down from the member of the Masjid
during Khutba,
because he saw Al Hussain,
he was stumbling over his shirt, like his
clothes, basically. He picked him up, and he
said, this is gonna be a leader of
this ummah. Right? So he has so much
love
for his 2 grandchildren.
Okay?
You saw it all the time,
you know?
They would climb on his back during sujood
and he would extend his sajdah. Like that's
just love, you know.
One time
they had baskets of dates that were gathered
for charity for zakat, that they were going
to distribute
to the people in need.
And his grandchildren, these same grandchildren that he
loved, loved, loved,
they reached to the baskets of date to
grab some dates, because dates
are like candy. I mean, they're sweet, right?
When they did that, he
grabbed their hands gently and he said, don't.
Don't do that.
And they looked at him, and he said,
this is for charity. This is not for
us.
What do you think the moment felt like?
They instantly,
of course, listened.
Because every other experience they had
with
their grandfather,
right, with the prophet was
what?
He was so relaxed.
He was so chill.
You know, even things that people thought would,
you know, make him snap never did. So
when he did get a little stern, people
took him very seriously.
So So here Imam Mozzawi is saying, if
you're constantly bickering and fighting and arguing and
clapping back at people all the time,
every single
syllable that you utter loses importance.
Right? Okay? So that's the first thing he
says. And he says that
the source
the source of all argumentation,
okay,
is
he says,
This the evil from argument is greater than
all the good that you can accomplish from
it.
It's always greater than all the good you
can accomplish from it. He says,
that it its source the source of argumentation
is all these ugly characteristics, and he starts
to name them. He says number 1, riya,
showing off. Why do people argue, especially in
front of others? Because they want to win.
No one argues in private.
People want to respond in the comments. They
want to tweet back at people. They wanna,
you know, they wanna do all this stuff
in public because they kinda want the audience.
They want that that specter. You You know,
they want people liking their comments and whatever.
Right?
I remember one time there was a person
that I used to, an athlete that I
used to, like, follow, and he said something
really dumb online. So I commented,
and,
my comment ended up having more likes than
his post.
Right? Like, people were just.
But then all of his supporters came. It
was political, of course. And then all his
supporters came out and was like, blah blah.
They started going back and forth. I started
going back and forth. And then I was
just started, like, destroying them 1 by 1.
You know what I mean? Like, just started
deconstruct 1 by 1. You know, the 1
by 1 by 1. Right? It's a bit
evil, man. No IQ. And so
and then I looked at myself, and I
was like, why are you doing this?
Like, what what award are you winning for
this?
Like, some fake applause that you hear in
your head every time you hit submit or
enter? Like, what the heck? Like, I I
literally started criticizing myself. I'm like, you're you're
a maniac. Like, what are you doing? I
have 2 children that I could be spending
time with. I have a wife that I
could be spending time with. I got friends.
I got why are you sitting here just
commenting?
Right? And if you really care, if you
really care about somebody, and you have to
say something, it doesn't have to be in
public.
So karia, he says number 1. Then he
says number 2, walhased. A lot of times
we argue because we're jealous of people.
Right? We go at them because we're jealous
of them, walkibr, and arrogance. Or we might
think that we're better than them, and we
wanna demonstrate that we think we're better than
them. Okay?
And he says, or we're just, like, we're
just hostile towards everybody. And in another book,
another author, he says something very beautiful. He
says that when a person argues, they just
become like a like an angry animal.
And he says eventually they lose all their
friends, they lose all their family, and no
one likes them, and they start to hate
everybody, and they die alone.
That's just that's that's it.
And maybe, you know what, maybe
they don't maybe it's not that dramatic,
but there are some people that if they
could, if their family could, they would let
them die alone.
They would. They won't because they have some
honor and some dignity in themselves.
But there are some people that are so
difficult to live with and talk with and
be with,
that
when the person passes away, the family, they
breathe a sigh of relief.
May Allah protect us from being bad. Do
you want to be that person? That when
you walk out of a room, everyone's like,
Oh, thank God.
When you walk in the room, it's like,
oh, god. You know, getting ready just to
get picked apart,
you know, needlessly criticizing making fun of somebody,
needlessly,
losing your temper on people. This is something
that Imam al Azadi says it all comes
from this characteristic, so he says stay away
from that. Okay?
And then he says that, of course,
he clarifies the exception. What's the exception he
says? He says
that if there's going to be an issue,
if there's some sort of dispute of question
between you and somebody else,
then, yes, of course. He says,
or a people, and he says that. And
your goal in that moment
is to what?
All you want to do is talk about
the truth. That's it. It's not about me
versus you. All you want to do is
say, look, there's some confusion here. What's the
real answer?
Okay.
So Maghreb time, when is it? 808,
8/18.
There's 2 groups. No. I think it's this,
I think it's that. Nobody cares about winning
the battle. You just want to know when
you can pray Muhammedib.
Right? No one cares about who gets the
award. There's no gold or silver medal here.
Right? Then he says,
then it's okay for you to engage in
that discussion, engage in that discussion,
engage in that conversation,
as long as your heart is in the
right place.
Okay? But he says there's 2 signs. You
want to know what the two signs are?
1, is it okay to argue?
He says that,
that that
that discussion
where you guys are searching for the right
answers. Okay.
He says,
That you have to know that there are
2 things, two signs that show that your
desire is is good.
Number 1, he says,
You don't care if the truth comes from
your tongue or the person's tongue.
So if I'm arguing with you,
I actually don't care if you win or
I win.
Can you imagine that? How sincere do you
have to be?
You know? It's, you know, it it it
it, there are moments, by the way, where
you feel this. There are some arguments you
guys know what I'm talking about, or am
I just speaking in hot air? You guys
ever wanna, like, win an argument
with somebody? Yes. Yes? Okay. I feel like
sometimes, like, everyone here is like, what kinda
weird, kinda arrogant guy is talking right now?
You guys ever wanna win an argument before
with somebody? Okay. Siblings. Siblings. Okay. Yeah. Have
you guys ever
gotten into a situation where you don't really
care who wins, you just wanna know what
the truth is?
Okay.
So do you know the difference now?
The difference is in one of those moments,
you are the center. In one of those
moments, you're not even there.
Like, if you're running late for a flight,
you're trying to figure out which gate it
is, no one cares if it's d 10
or d 8.
You know what I mean? Like, if you
win or I win, let's go check. I
think it's this, I think it's that.
Listen. I actually don't care. I hope so
one of us is right. I hope that
we're not in the wrong airport.
Right?
That's all I care about at this point.
So that's what he's saying. He says what?
He says,
sorry. You don't mind
if what?
Doesn't matter to you. It's the same
whether or not the truth is on your
tongue or that person's tongue.
And then he says,
Wow, he says that it would be more
beloved to you to have this conversation
in private than it would for you to
be having it in public. So you know
you're right. You know that you could if
you wanted to slam dunk on this person.
You know that you could if you wanted
to make them look like a fool. But
you actually in your heart would prefer just
to be able to pull this person to
the side, take them to another room, call
them after,
DM them, not comment, and just settle it
there.
Instead of settling it where? In front of
the boys,
right, or in front of everybody.
Because you actually don't want that to happen.
You don't need the you know you know
the you know the,
what was his name? He was really popular
online, like, in 2008.
Hot Fire? What was his name? Super Hot
Fire. Super Hot Fire. Yeah. You don't need
that rate. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, you missed out on a major
cultural icon in the 2000.
Superhot. You know what I'm talking about?
The rap battles where nothing you said made
sense, but his boys just went nuts every
time? Yeah. And at the end, they went
crazy. You're not looking for your boys to
go crazy at the end.
In fact, you actually don't want that because
you know and there's something really wise about
this.
You know,
when you debate somebody or argue with somebody,
whether it's, like, somebody at work or school
or home or whatever,
what you do in front of people can
never be erased.
It can never be taken away.
I was actually having a very
interesting conversation recently with somebody,
and
and and and it shows the maturity of
this person that that they had.
I was talking to them about something.
Actually, it was it was a marital situation,
and there was a divorce that was happening.
And, unfortunately, this person was friends with the
person getting divorced, so it was very difficult
for them.
And,
in the divorce, there was
there were there were there were mean things
said both sides.
Right? And so we started talking. I was
talking to this one person. They they themselves
were not getting divorced, but they were commenting.
It was their friend. They said, man, you
know, if this person if someone ever says
something about me, like, if I was gonna
bring it to her, I would just I
don't wanna I don't wanna just spill everything
I knew about that person.
And then she caught herself.
And she said, you know what? I wouldn't
do that.
And I said, why? Because she caught herself,
like, within, like, 5 seconds. She's like, I
would just say everything, and she's like, no.
No. No. I wouldn't do that. I said,
what changed your mind? And she said,
when you do that to somebody, it doesn't
matter if it's true or false. You can
never take it back.
It's gone.
Once those words leave your mouth so
if you debate somebody or argue somebody and
it's in front of people,
and you basically, let's say you win, right,
or you know that you're right and they're
wrong,
the more honorable and prophetic thing to do
would be to try to preserve their honor
before the eyes of people.
Right? And sometimes, by the way, the crazy
reaction you get from somebody because they can't
handle it is because it's in front of
people anyways.
People respond very, very difficult, very negative
when there's an audience
because it's not just the truth on the
line, it's their honor.
But if you're able to be smart about
it and strategic
and do it in a way that preserves
their dignity and honor, then you'll find that
the argument itself becomes a lot less
intense, a lot less problematic.
So here you have Imam Khazadi saying,
just stay away from arguing. But if you
have to, do it this way. So we'll
end here, Insha'Allah,
we'll conclude.
We ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to accept
from us, we ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
to make our hearts pure, and to give
us the love of the truth
and the the hatred of argumentation.
But ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to make
us people. That our character is always
beautiful, and our character is attractive and magnetic,
and we never push people away. Ask Allah
to forgive us for the shortcomings we've had
in our in our hearts,
with our
tongues, using our thumbs, texting people, we ask
Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala to protect us from
all of the people that we've pushed away.
We ask Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala to make
us a proof of Quran, a proof of
Islam, a proof of the sunnah, and not
a proof against any of those things. We
ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to accept from
us. And on this blessed day of Ashura,
we ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
to uplift the Ummah, uplift those who are
oppressed, to save them from the shackles of
tyranny that they experience
across the world. We ask Allah Subhana Wa
Ta'la
to grant us this freedom from oppression and
tyranny,
externally and also internally within our own selves.
Amin, Amin, Yarbir Halami.
We have anyone have any questions? We have
like 4 minutes before Maghrib.
Who that who asked?
Oh. Oh, that's.
I love it. Can't see the mouth, so
yeah. Yeah.
Sometimes people come with you come at you
with that with a certain type of energy.
Yeah. Right? And you're just saying it's a,
you know,
travel. Right? Like you said.
How do you how do you go about
1, infusing it or 2, deflecting?
Right? Any kind of, like,
I'll say one thing, and then Ozawa can
answer. I've become very
good
at one thing, which is, like, just take
the l and walk away. Yeah.
I just don't care.
You know?
And it's hard. It's hard, especially when you're
a principled person. Because I I used to
be very angry when people would just be
wrong
for the sake of them being wrong. I'm
like, what but why? They're wrong. They're wrong.
And then I just learned, like, if it's
not gonna matter in 5 minutes, don't spend
5 hours on it.
Right? Or 5 seconds even on it. You
know? Just let it be. So if someone
tries to come at you or say something,
whatever, and ultimately, it's not even a big
deal, just be like,
You're right. You know? So if someone comes
at me, they say something dumb. I'm like,
you're right. Wow.
They're like, no. Say something back. I'm like,
Ken, you're right. Slam dunk. Got me. Right?
I'm like, you know,
you win.
So and it it it ultimately is just
a very, like, it's a deflating process. Do
you have anything to help? Yeah. I completely
agree. Like,
I'm not an argumentative person by nature,
simply because I have way too many siblings
to be arguing. Like it's just really not
worth the time. So I got that training
very young.
But when you're in the community, you're working
and, like, serving community and stuff like that,
sometimes it does get get a little bit
tough. And I don't know if there was
a time when there was,
this young person, whatever, he cornered me in
the imam that I was working with in
the office to ask us, like, questions about,
like, debate debate debate
questions about spirituality. And I was just sitting
there and the imam went back and forth
with him And then he turned the boy
turns to me, and he's like, you don't
have anything to say to, like, defend Islam?
I was like, no.
I don't have anything to say. Like,
you've said it all. Like, you you came
in with your own preconceived notions. Like, there's
I real when someone's so angry or so
upset or they're convinced of something, you're not
gonna unconvince them about what you say. Right?
So I did offer to the young men,
if you would like to have a a
very
calm conversation,
want to spare 20 minutes
for that conversation for your own good.
It's I'm not getting anything out of this.
I'm not trying to convince him
of the right way of seeing the light.
None I'm not a debater.
Like, that's just not me.
And I think part of it is laziness.
Because halfway through the conversation, I'm like done.
I'm like, okay. Cool Cool story, bro. I
gotta go now
type of thing. But a big part of
it is like what Sam mentioned
is not only preserving the dignity of that
person but preserving your own dignity too. Mhmm.
You know, like I don't have time for
someone to rile me up where I get
to a point where I can't even control
what I say to that person.
And what am I doing to in the
name of Islam?
Right? So at that point, it really defeats
the purpose of why I decided to argue
with that person in the
first
place. Is amazing. Why? Because you're making gua
for that person. May Allah make it easy
for all of us. May Allah accept.
Yes.
Thank you. Sound like,
have a blessed day. Be blessed. Whatever. Like,
it's it's it's fine.
That's that's me. I want somebody real quick.
Gotta go.
They get so upset. They do. And I
just I honestly, I leave because I'm You
know what they call that? You know what
they call that, by the way? They call
that pulling the chair out from somebody. You
guys ever heard that before? I happen to
basketball a lot. Like, in the post, whenever
anyone puts all their weight on you,
one of your responses, you can, like, push
back or you can just step out of
the way. And what happens is when someone's
putting a ton of weight on you, step
out of the way, they just fall down.
Right? They call that pull in the chair.
So, like, you can do it in debate
too. Like, somebody's coming at you real hard
with something, you could just be like, Jazakwa
Khairn. And why do they say that? No?
You're literally saying may Allah give you goodness.
I'm like, no. No Khairn. No Jazakwa Khairn.
You're like,
Now don't do it like condescending like I'm
doing. Right? No. Right? But just be like,
sincerely mean it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I sincere
I tried to sincerely mean it in my
heart. Nice to catch. I tried to sincerely
mean it. I'm like, you know,
may Allah make things easy for you. That's
like and I I want
whatever it is that's disrupting you so much
that you felt like you have to come
and attack me, a person that you don't
even know.
I would really like for those demons to
be removed from you. So I like because
obviously Are you exercising them? Because the actresses
are she's like, be gone, Shaitla. Listen. Energy
vibes.
Okay? Like, I don't need those type of
vibes, and I don't need anybody else to
have those type of vibes. So I play
for them. I'm like, no. I'll make it
easy. Honestly, I can't and if they come
at me with questions because it happens. Like,
why this? Why this? Why this? I'm like,
honestly, I cannot answer your question. I don't
have the answer for you. I'm not.
This is the extent that I'm qualified to
answer your question. I can't answer it for
you. However, I do know that, like, I
want Westmore Fire to give you peace and
I pray that God gives you peace.
Keep pushing.
Not having a time doesn't get that far
because I've already left the conversation. Like, Baltimore
has to exit the chat.
Yeah. Good question, though.
Anybody else? One more?
If anyone's fasting, it's mother of time so
we can break fast and shallow. We have,
we have crispy, crunchy, and we have, patties.
You know what patties are? Petits. Petits.
It's basically like,
meat stuffed in, like, puff pastries.
I think every culture has a version of
it. They call it in in Egypt. Similar
to kind of. Sort of.
Okay.
And then after that, we'll do.
Okay. Good talk, guys. Good talk.
Drink your milk. Go to school.
I got a message.
From who? From who?
Oh, wait. Yeah. Hold on.