Safi Khan – Soul Food Imam al Ghazali on true spirituality
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AI: Transcript ©
Early he was heavy here train. Welcome back. We didn't have last
week, right? Yeah, no, we didn't. Or do we? I'm like losing track of
time.
That's crazy.
been all over the place mats are
so shallow. We're gonna continue now with the reading of this
amazing book. Oh, here we are.
We're actually towards the end Subhanallah it's crazy.
We are approaching I think there's 24 advices and we're finishing
today than in number 18
I'm trying to find my notes on it
anyways
So, the last few times we met we talked about a really important
topic. What was that topic?
Yeah, good. Very good mentorship. And what about it?
Alright, guys, go get some food. We're done.
What about mentorship? What about mentorship? Ah,
choosing Yeah, okay. Mashallah, you're on fire three for three.
Okay, so we talked about? First and foremost, we talked about why
it is necessary for a person to like have a mentor, or a teacher.
And how going through life without a mentor is like, you know, is
like going through life without any without without sight without
being able to see
Subhanallah and,
you know, the critical nature of being able to have someone that
you rely upon to answer your questions to give you guidance.
Imam Ghazali, basically is like, Look, if you don't have someone
that you can reach out to that you can cling on to,
in those moments, then it's going to be really difficult. And then
he talked about so first he established the critical nature of
it. Then he talked about, you know, what kind of person should
you look for. And he mentioned, like, not everyone that can be
that can give a good lecture is a mentor. Not everybody that dresses
like, you know,
a Hogwarts student, right can be a good mentor, like, not everybody
that has a beard or hijab, or not everyone that kind of dresses that
part or their haws sound good, or their ain sound good, or their
paws really strong. All of that is fine. But mentorship and a
person's ability to teach and become a teacher of somebody else
is built upon way more than that, right? And so what do you look
for? And he talked about looking for inward and outward piety.
A person that is inspirational when you see how they act, how
they talk, how they walk, all of that. And then he mentioned how
you should be the last session, I think we talked about what our
etiquette should be with. Said teacher, right? So when you see a
teacher, let's say that, you know, you have a set of Fatima Sharla
who will be back next week, by the way, and everyone has been like,
Man, why is this guy here?
She'll be back. Shala. So when I saw the Fatima like, you know,
when you interact with her, like, what's your How should you
interact with somebody in that position? Or if you know Safi when
he teaches like, how should you interact with somebody like that?
What are your responsibilities or shake up the Nasir Mufti Kimani
people that you look up to? Right shake Yasser Brijesh homage to
that meant? How do we talk with those people? MashAllah Eva, Allah
is going on solid. Exactly. We went to Turkey together. So he's
Turkish, now we're both part Turkish. Mashallah. So
that was that section. Now, this section interesting. It's
interesting that he includes it in this portion, but it's pretty
beautiful.
He defines three things. He defines three books more than
that. He defines a few things, but it's one of it's kind of like a
subcategory amount was odd. He's very famous for that. By the way,
he'll be like, point number one, one, a one a one, one a one b like
that's how he his mind works in like never ending flow charts and
lists. So here he starts now and he says that true spirituality.
Okay, true spirituality, not fake spirituality. What's the
spirituality faith spirituality is like, you know, detox drinks and
like steam rooms and manifesting and vibes. Like that's all fake
spirituality. Okay. Why is it fake? I'm not saying it's fake
because people you know, don't do it. It's not haram for a person to
drink like paprika and kombucha or whatever. Like whatever they want,
you know, why is it fake? Yeah.
Very good. And it will
We're believing it and what's the problem with it? Believing it,
something's not a problem. We all believe in something. But what's
the problem?
Yeah, and we believe in something that can bring us divine help, but
what's the difference?
Can Bucha now so ours is anchored by something? Right? Islam is a
deen, that is anchored. It's anchored, anchored by what? The
Quran, and the life of the prophet saw. So now, you see when we talk
about why we believe in what we believe, we believe in what we
believe, because we can trace it all the way back to the Prophet
SAW Selim, who we believe received it from Allah, it's very simple is
very straightforward. When someone asks, like, Why do or don't you
believe in something? My question is, how anchored, is it? Right? Is
it traceable back to the Messenger of Allah Azza wa sallam. And if it
is, then I will obviously take it and believe in that, right? So
when something is not
solid, right, you can't attach yourself to it. Because you are
actually, it's not heavy enough to hold you down. You know what I
mean? If you tried to anchor a boat, right, but the anchor you
used was a balloon, it wouldn't hold the boat anywhere, the job of
the anchor is to make sure that the boat doesn't float away. So we
have to make sure that whatever we anchor ourselves to, is heavy
enough and strong enough to hold us down. And that's only the
Quran. And only the life the Prophet SAW Salem and this Deen of
Islam. So spirituality is a real thing, but we have to look for it
in the right places. Okay, everybody has a spiritual
appetite. Every single person in this room has a desire to come
closer to Allah, that spirituality and to be better than
spirituality. But just like your appetite can be fulfilled by good
things, things that are actually good for you, and things that are
pointless for you. Spirituality is the same way. Okay, when you are
hungry, and you know, are thirsty when you're really thirsty, right?
As much as you might enjoy Coke or Sprite, or like a juice? What do
you know that you really need? I'm not trying to call on you. I know
you're sipping on your boba. Right? As much as you might enjoy,
you know, you really need water, especially these days, right? It's
like 100 something degrees outside, you're doing stuff
outside, you're hot, you're sweating, you know, you need
water. Sure, like a sweet drink is nice. But your your heart
understands. In order for my body to recover from this, I need water
water is what I need. Okay. So with spirituality is the same way.
We all have that appetite. But we know that the correct spiritual
path is the right way to sustain that and to fulfill that right?
Yes. So if you were to overcome something that's spiritual.
People believe in
it, come back to the straight.
Talk about that. We'll get there. It's a good question. Sharla.
Well, he answers it. The reason why I'm not gonna answer is
because he answers it right. But we'll, we'll definitely address
that specific issue. And by the way, there's also a possibility
that a person can over engage with even the Islamic side of the text
in a way that's not healthy and the Prophet saw some taught us how
to sort of negotiate those things. So he said that know that
spirituality has two characteristics, number one, is
steadfastness. Right, what is the fastest mean?
Give me another word. Give me like a synonym for steadfastness.
There is an element of patience in it for sure.
There is an element of good steadiness in it. What else? Huh?
Yeah, being persistent, being consistent. Okay. steadfastness.
The key in that is that you have enough patience, and you have
enough of a good pace because sometimes if you run too fast in
the beginning of the race, you're gonna die before you can finish
right? So you have to be able to maintain a good pace be patient
when things don't go your way in order to be consistent. So he says
number one spirituality should not feel like a sprint. It should not
feel like one day Yes, two days no one day yes to that's not what
spirituality is. Spirituality according to all of the sources is
what making the right decisions as much as you can day in and day
out. That you know is going to please Allah subhanaw taala that
spirituality that's Tuckwell. Okay. So he says, number one, the
characteristic is steadfastness. You should not be like super
spiritual on Monday, and then the rest of the week. You put your
phone on, you know, do not disturb. That's not how
spirituality works. And, And subhanAllah you know, if you want
to dive in this a little bit deeper. Part of the reason why
maybe people avoid trying to do the right thing is because they
know that once they Oh,
then that door towards what is good that they maybe are gonna
have to leave some things behind. And so they're like, you know, I
don't want to like go to Amara yet. I've actually met people
where like, I don't go to Hajj yet. Like, why they're like, I
still have a few things I have to do. And they don't mean good
things, right.
But Subhanallah, you know, I'll tell you something that one of my
teachers, Sheikh Hassan, he told me that I thought was really
profound. He said that,
you know, we always talk about like, missed opportunities.
We always talk about like, this is a dumb example. But for some
reason, it's coming to my mind. Are you ready? That there's this
like, weird. There's this weird, like, anxiety that people have
these days where they, they like, they don't want to get married,
because they're afraid that they're, that they might find
someone better. It's like a weird thing that I'm coming across. So
like, I found somebody I liked them. But I don't know if I want
to get married. Why? Because what if somebody better comes along
next year? Like, well, at that point, you shouldn't be looking.
So you won't see them? Right?
You won't see them. So so. So it's interesting, right? So this is
kind of like this, this weird version of FOMO. Okay. And you
know what she hasn't told me I thought it was really profound. He
said, People are so concerned about missing what they like
missing a scenario like that. Like, what if somebody comes along
better? I don't want to do this job. Because what if I get a
better offer? I don't want to buy this house. Because what if a
better one shows up in the market in a month? And they said that,
first of all Allah gives us as to how to solve those problems. But
the second is, he said, What if you're missing out on what this
thing could do to change you and make you into something different?
And you're missing out on that? You guys feel as deep right? What
did he say? For example, I want to make hagit. Why, because I have so
much my life that I want to live on making when I'm older. What
about the person you become after you make when you're young? What
about the discoveries you haven't had when you're 30? And the life
you live after that? Versus and this happened? You make when
you're 70 and you regret why did I make it so late? I actually sat
with a woman on Hajj that we took, she cried after Hajj because she
said, I wish I made Hajj earlier what kind of person that would
have been having these realizations when I was 35. She
actually told me this she was crying on the day of of the last
day of Jamaat and you know, we were like, oh, you know, people
were crying, but she looked like very, very sad. So I went through
and I said no, you did hide Mashallah. It's amazing. She was
unhappy. But at the same time, I can't help but think who I would
have been had I'd done it earlier. So we do have the Neff sickle
FOMO, where we're like, oh man, but what if I don't get a chance
to? But what about the tequila FOMO of like, man, what could I
be? What can I be like who can I be? What kind of person would I
be? What kind of challenges would not rattle me? What kind of you
know being able to see Allah in every given scenario would happen
if I committed to that early on so being steadfast number two is he
says serenity from creation
serenity from creation what does that mean
to people make you met
you guys got upset
that was a really like, it was a really emphatic
like right now is that your boba Is that why
someone takes too many of the of the tapioca Okay, so people make
you mad. So how do you deal with that
that's actually a really good point. It depends on who it is.
What if it's someone that
you know you have you have the ability to take revenge
because we get mad but we can't take revenge always right. What if
it's somebody that you do have the ability to take revenge
interesting, little bit self control what else?
Okay
as you can see, we overthink things, you know, but I feel like
that's one of the biggest regrets. If you don't take revenge on
somebody, you end up with more and more.
Even if you ask forgiveness
in some
situations
you know, it's a Subhanallah it's a
again, it goes back to that conversation like this. The
choices that we make, we think that we're making choices but we
realize that even when you do something what you miss out on is
also a choice. Everything you gain you lose for everything you gain
you lose something else, you know
When you're deciding if you want to have more dinner or dessert,
you realize everything you gain you lose something else. It's the
same in life, dude. Like, if you take revenge on something, if you
let somebody bother you, you're losing that piece. Right?
Sometimes you need to lose that piece. Right? Because pacifism for
the sake of it is not something we find in this Deen. Like, we
actually believe. Like, if you see bombs dropping on Palestinians,
you should not be like, it's you know, that's no, you should have
what's called, you know, for Muslims, you should have this
this, you should have like fire within you. And you see wrongs
happening, right. I mean, we saw this happen collectively as a
country last year, finally, and it's not enough, but when you see
George Floyd being killed in the whole country, you know, at least
those of them that saw that as a wrong SubhanAllah. Those of us I
should say, saw it as a wrong when they came together. You saw that
fire in people's hearts, right? And that's how it should be. Okay.
But we should not have that same fire for things like the Phoenix
Suns getting destroyed. You know, it's not it's, that's not the
same, right. So what's the difference? Islam allows noble
anger, anger, that's noble, virtuous anger, being upset,
disturbing your serenity, for what? What deserves it. But
generally, the state of the believer is calm, right? We don't
think with our emotions, we think with our awkward, that's why Allah
gave it to us. We use our emotions to help fuel us. But we think with
our intellect, so, serenity, from creation, this also means things
like not getting jealous of people, not backbiting, people not
getting rattled, this is what this is talking about. Okay? So he
said, Whoever makes their themselves steadfast, they're
consistent. And number two, their manners and morals are beautiful
in dealing with people, then this person is a truly spiritual
person. This is this is real spirituality, like no one cares
how you dress. No one cares, you know, about anything really, how
religious a person portrays himself to be. He says, Just wait
until you interact with people. And you'll see how religious a
person is. And this is very true. I mean, I'll tell my own stories,
because I'm, I've had to make mistakes and learn, like, I was a
youth director in the city. And I remember one of the things that we
used to do, to see, you know, like spiritual growth was play
basketball.
Because that was an indication of whether or not people were
spiritually mature. Because it's just the game. No one's playing
for a 10 day contract. You know, some guys think they are, no one's
playing for money. No one's you know, everyone's just playing to
enjoy themselves for recreation. But some people destroyed and
burned down relationships for the sake of a Sunday morning game is
stupid, right? And some people who don't have to look at anybody
as and some people and by the way, like, I found myself sometimes on
the wrong end of that description as well, getting really upset. And
it's dumb. It makes no sense. You know what I mean?
And so it doesn't matter how religious a person sees
themselves, if they lose their serenity, and they're calm, and
they lose themselves, for some of that's ignoble. It's like
basketball, right? Then it doesn't make any sense. And it goes
against that definition. So a person could be give me a clip,
but on Friday at the masjid, but on Sunday, they could disprove
everything, they said that football was the appointment. So
dumb. This is why the Scholars told us like, if you find yourself
struggling, just go be alone for a while. Because in loneliness, you
can actually discover like your faults. When you're surrounded by
people. There's too much other things to focus on. So they said,
just go sit by yourself for a while. Okay, so
he then defines steadfastness, you want to work on this. You want to
be you want to become steadfast, because everyone here is like,
Yeah, I'd like to be I'd like to have these traits. How do you get
there? He says steadfastness means that you should only take for
yourself as much as you need.
It's interesting, weird connection, to be consistent to be
patient to be able to forbear difficulty. He says, Only take as
much as you need. It's really interesting.
What does he mean by that? And can you guys explain to me like, what,
what the benefit of taking which only what you need is maybe give
me a scenario
where you only take what you need anything. Anything good.
Wow, that's a really good example. Are you applying for FAFSA?
Everyone's like going too fast. Yeah, good. No, really. That's
Subhanallah that's very mature. That's very mature dude. Because
you know yourself and we all know ourselves. Loans, you have to pay
back, and even Islamically by the way, let's talk about this right?
How is it allowed to take a loan? There's, there's permissibility
for certain reasons. One of them is education. But what you just
said is one of the conditions no one mentioned everyone's I guess
how that will go for it. No, no, hold on. Yes.
a lot. You know, there's the permissibility of taking a loan
sometimes is conceded, even with maybe interest attached to it for
the sake of something like education. But what you mentioned
is a key point that the scholar is the Mufti, as they say is what you
can't take more than you need. You know, even people who are going to
med school,
when they graduate, they finished med school, and they'd have like,
a $500,000 debt with interest on it. They come to me and they're
like, you know, in a Tesla, I'm like, oh,
no, why? Because you have to get rid of that debt first. You know,
you better be driving the Camry for a bit. You know, the same one
that got you through med school, you better be driving that for a
bit because you have to pay it off and Masha Allah, Masha, Allah like
people, you know, it's good. People are doing well with that.
So that's very good. If you are signing up for loans, if you for
whatever reason, if you're buying a house, if you're doing this, you
don't need you don't need to take a lot more than you need. Right.
Think about it. Be honest, you also don't have to be like,
Stingy. You know, if your family like only one outfit, like I need
more you wash it. It's like no, no, maybe there might be an extra,
you know, outfit or whatever. But yeah, you know what's balanced?
Very good. Yeah.
Okay.
Some people
expecting too much.
It's a business relationship.
So yeah, very good. There's another book that you might was
out, he wrote, well, it's a chapter in one of his books, where
he talks about the rites of companionship. And this is one
thing he wrote, he actually wrote very beautifully. He said, Don't
be heavy on people. And don't and he actually said, Don't take too
much like being heavy for him was when you take too much from
people, and you never help out.
Yeah, and you never help out. You know, like, it's one thing to
expect. But then to be there. It's another thing complete to never be
there. And to still expect it means it's like a burden is
relationship is not a relationship. It's a it's a
burden. So he his advice was, you know, give more than you take,
because then you'll be you'll be somebody that's like, you're not
baggage, you know, you actually are meaningful.
Because some of your baggage when you fly you need it's critical.
Some of the you don't really it's too heavy. So that's very good.
And only taking what you deserve, or what you need is something
where email was out. He's basically saying what, you know
what, something that rattles us is when our standard is too high, and
life changes. So if your standard is high,
and you don't have the ability to have that, now your life changes.
Very real example just happened to me two weeks ago or last weekend.
I traveled out of town, and I have a humbler. I have a nice coffee
machine at home.
I stayed at Airbnb. Okay, so usually when I travel, I just look
up for a coffee shop nearby. However, I was in Orlando, there's
nothing in Orlando. It was like alligators, you know, Allah gives
us signs to not live places, okay? One of them is alligators. Like I
just don't understand who like walked up to a swamp saw these
giant dragon looking things on their stomachs and was like, Yeah,
this is a great place to live,
apparently is not supposed to be lived in. Anyways, I could go on
about Lando.
So there's no coffee shops I knew was bad. When I went to Google
Maps and near Airbnb and I typed in coffee and 711 showed up. I
knew as Ben like I knew is that okay? So there, there was a time
when I would have been like, you know, a true snob about that. But
I've learned from my snobbery and from my teachers that look, you
can't have coffee, just have tea. You can't have teachers have
water, be happy with whatever you have, you know, again, this is
like I'm 33 Now when I was 25, maybe it'd be different. Okay. So
why is it important to only take what you need is because when it's
not there, when what you want is not there, you won't be rattled.
You know, and you see this, especially on things like hutch,
how just crazy because it's like, the ultimate reduction of life.
And some people just can't handle it. You know, they need wants a
needs some people's needs. Some people's wants, are actually some
people's needs, and they can't, they can't dial it down. And it's
really, really hard to dial yourself back. So don't get used
to take more than you need.
Because you're gonna not gonna be able to be set faster, right? It's
power. So he says, Take as much as you need. Then he says, dealing
with people in a beautiful manner means you do not burden them
according to what you need. You don't burden them, but burden
yourself according to what they need. That's a beautiful
relationship. Beautiful relationships are that you
Don't burden other people you burden yourself. Right? You don't
make it life difficult for them, you make your life a little
difficult for them. You know, I mean,
you give them a ride, you drop them off, right? Even if it means
you got to leave 20 minutes earlier, that's okay. You spent,
you know, there's only one coke left in the fridge, they come over
you want it, you give it to them. You know what I mean? Those are
the little moments and again, this is where he man was out. He's so
beautiful. Because everything is so practical. Everyday in your
life, you're gonna have a fork in the road, me or another person?
How many times can you choose the other person? The more you do that
the closer to Allah you are. Because the less you are obsessed
about yourself, the closer to Allah you can be. The nest is just
like a shackle that holds us back from Allah. The more that I just
focus on me, guess what, the less time I have for Allah, the more
that I give to other people and take care of other people as much
as I can, the more that I can free myself from my desires and go
close to Allah. And that's why you see men, the people who are the
most beautiful, are the ones who take care of other people. Right?
The Hadith of the Prophet SAW Salem that have little NAS, right,
the best of those people are what played on us men in Fountain NUS
those people who are the most beneficial to others, those who
are around them. So instead of expecting to be benefited, try to
benefit people in sha Allah. Okay. So he mentioned that and it's
crazy, right? Because he had a lot, we don't think that
spirituality is based on things like taking little and being nice
to people, but try it, it's really difficult. It really messes with
the knifes because we always want more and we always want to focus
on ourselves. So he flips it, take less and focus on others. You're
like, Huh, interesting, but you might be irritated for a while.
Okay? Because that's how the neffs works. But it's okay, if you're
not just irritated means good things are happening.
Okay, all right. So the next thing he says is you asked me about his
because remember, these are all answers. He says you asked me
about herb. udia or Rydia means what it means to be a servant of
Allah, Allah Tada. Okay, that word servitude. He said it means three
things. Number one, is that you try your best to follow whatever
the Sharia law says you try your best. Absolutely. Try your best.
Okay? And you never ever try to skip on it. Number two, and this
is hard satisfaction with whatever Allah has decreed for you. This is
a difficult one. You guys have been disappointed before.
About what?
Your boba and
it was good. single tear. It was good.
What do you got? What do you guys been disappointed for? Or about
rejection? Right? In life happens.
pandemic. Yeah, spot on. Sad, man. I have kids. That's the problem.
That's the problem of the pandemic is the kids. So sad. Adults know
we can figure it out. We can wear masks, whatever, but to see kids
like that's
sad. You know, they miss their friends and stuff. So yeah, it's
very, very difficult. Why is this happening? Want to go to Amara
heaven? You know, I want to see the home full at least I want to
see people around the cabinet like what's going on? You know? Very
good. What else?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
When your expectations are higher than reality, you see the bears?
May Allah may Allah forgive you. Right? sha Allah will have a good
year this year in sha Allah Justin fields. Anyone else?
Disappointment? Well, at least his appointment. What have you felt
disappointed in or by?
School? Yeah. Okay. So how do you get past that? How do you how do
you deal with your disappointment?
Cry? Good. I'm actually happy. You mentioned that human emotion Allah
Tala gave us. It's not wrong to be upset. It's not wrong.
You can cry. It's fine. The Prophet SAW Selim cried. When he
was sad. He cried. So it's a tsunami. The Companions even asked
him about his tears and he said that this is Rama from Allah.
Imagine having all that pent up pressure inside of you. You can't
express it. can't cry about it. Right? They say like have a good
cry. That's what they mean. It just lets everything out. suela
designed us okay. Well, I'll tell you that he even describes those
people in the Quran when he mentions them. Exactly. I forget
the verse but it's a such to
those people that have fear of Allah they fall on their faces and
so do crying.
okiya
Yes, so it's near so a lot of thought as he describes crying the
Quran as being a way of communicating to Allah. Right. So
crying is is is is something very powerful. Okay, but
where does the disappointment have to stop?
Disappointment can be upset with what
but can never be upset with who.
You can hate something and love the one who gave it to you.
You know, I mean, whether
you can hate the car accident or the flat tire, definitely.
Okay. But you should never ever resent the one that puts you in
that situation. Why? Because you trust that he knows what he's
doing.
So, all disappointment is solved by trust. If I trust Allah, that
my disappointment it, it figures itself out. And the more you trust
Allah, the less time you're disappointed,
because you're like, Okay, you may not know the answer, though.
That's the big thing. You're not going to something's not going to
happen. You're like, I know exactly why this is happening. No,
no. All you say is, ah, I know that Allah is doing something.
And that's it. And you just roll with it. You know, it's hard. It's
easier said than done. But the older you get, the more it happens
to you. And the more you start to kind of realize that Allah Tada
has opening doors for you and saving you from things and moving
things around for use upon Allah. Like, I mean, you ask anybody, I'm
sure if we went down the line in the room, what was one thing in
your life you wanted a loved one give it to you and you're better
off for it. I'm sure we'd all have a story. Or what's one thing you
didn't want? Allah made you do it and you're better off for it. I'm
sure we'd all have a story. So we don't even need to write but you
just think to yourself, when did Allah take away something from
you? And it was actually better for you? Right? And when did Allah
Tada give you something and it was actually not that you want it and
it wasn't good for you and realize that you have to just bank on
Allah to Allah and that's why even not to Allah he says what he says
ropa ma taka the man aka what Obama Monica monoket fell taka
that sometimes Allah gives by taking away and sometimes he takes
away by giving. So Allah gives you a lot of money. And he's actually
taken if a person's weak, they get taken away from what their family,
their friends, their community, because their focus is on the
money. Allah Tada sometimes takes away money. And the person gains
what? Family Friends community, because maybe they couldn't work
as much anymore. I actually met this physician over the weekend.
And he was saying that like because of the pandemic, all of
the what do they call them? All the procedures that are optional?
I forget what they're called. Optional procedures. There we go.
He said all of those procedures were paused. What do they call
medicine? elective. There we go. All the elective procedures were
paused. So he he does both he does the emergent ones. And he also
does the elective procedures. So he said they were all paused and
it like freed up his schedule by 50%. He was like I was only
working two days a week. Okay, now obviously, it affects your income
as well. But he was like, you know, what I'm going to try to
make the most out of this gets in the car goes on a road trip, and
drives and like does all this beautiful road trip of the entire
part of the country and all that kind of stuff. And he's like, I
spent more time with my family in those six weeks than I have in the
past maybe 10 years.
Ruben, I'm Anna aka fat, aka Allah Tada, sometimes he takes away but
he actually gave you something. Right? So being able to see that
as important. So that's number two. Number three is true or Bodia
is and this is hard, is very hard. is stopping yourself from from
stopping yourself from indulging in something that would please you
in order to seek the pleasure of Allah. Now here's a really, really
tough part.
Stuff that's Haram is kind of easy to not do. Why?
Yeah, because it's hot off. Right? It's always haram. Sure, we all
make mistakes, but generally, the thought of punishment is like a
strong motivator. Right? So we're like Ah, It's haram, I don't want
to do it and then maybe the the thought of punishment the thought
of judgment from other people. So it's, it's it's relatively easy to
not do haram just because you're conditioned to be afraid of it not
wanting to do it, that's fine. But what about things that are halal
that can still take you away from Allah?
Do those things exist? Or is everything hot out good? At all
times?
Or I'd say best huh?
Everyone says Netflix first whenever we talk about stuff like
this, everyone's like Netflix. Maybe Netflix is haram
that's not fair to those watching online. They're like
canceling the subscription. Maybe No, seriously, Netflix good
example. So like, phones are generally Hello. Social media
generally courses held on parts but generally held out by like, if
a person goes on social media too long at night scrolls on Tik Tok
misses Fajr than what happened. I indulged in something that was
permissible and it took me away from Allah.
Now the hunter fees have a very interesting approach to this the
hunter de menthe hub. They say that if you indulge in something
that is halal, and it repeatedly hinders it
takes you away from your obligation, that thing is no
longer
permissible for you.
Right? Why? Because you can't handle it. So if I if I stay up
late, seven days a week watching TV, and I miss federal seven
mornings a week, because I stayed up late, guess what is no longer
permissible for me watching TV past a certain time, right? Even
though you're like, Well, what's haram about that? Well, you can't
handle it. Right? It's like giving a baby food before they can chew.
Food is okay. Yes, baby eating is okay. Yes, but you can't give a
baby the same food to give an adult because why? Clearly the
baby can't handle it. So that's what they say it's kind of Allah.
So
giving up something haram for Allah is good. Giving up something
that's even halal for Allah is amazing.
Choosing to go to bed on time,
giving up money for something, that money is yours, you're
allowed to spend it, you can go buy more stuff, you can go
whatever, you can go buy food, you can buy clothes, it's your money,
or Allah gave it to you. But when you give it up for Allah, that's
amazing. So he says, when you forsake your own pleasures, for
the pleasure of Allah, that's what sadaqa is. When you fast, not
Ramadan, outside Ramadan, when you fast outside Ramadan, you gave up
food for what for Allah. That's why fasting is so beautiful,
because it's truly one of the most sincere things a person can do,
because it's so easy to hide it. Okay, we'll stop there. Insha
Allah, and then we'll continue next week because he talks about
to let go, what true trust and Allah means and what true
sincerity is. And the opposite of sincerity is react. So we'll talk
about that in sha Allah. But today, I feel like was kind of
heavy. He gave a lot mashallah, he's just given all these like,
these one liners that are just crushing it. Mashallah. So we
asked Allah to Allah to grant us all the good that he talked about
protect us from all of the dangers that he mentioned. I mean, me got
a bit. I mean, I don't have any questions.
This is great. I'm the law.
Got a crazy 10 slash burn going on? Yeah. What is your opinion
about? I don't have opinions on anything. I just read books.
Oh, what?
Yeah, so I was, I was just, I was articulating something
interesting, which is that in one of them I had in the school of the
heavy meth hub. There, there's a shifting not not actually only 100
of these, by the way, this, I just studied the high metal but like,
you find this and generally things that are permissible things that
are MOBA. If they persistently take somebody away from something,
then those things are, that status may change for that person. You
know, what's permissible, for me may not be permissible for you, if
you can't handle it, or vice versa, if I can't handle it, it's
not permissible for me. Okay, so some people can stay up late and
still wake up professional. Okay, just something they can do. That's
awesome. But some people can't handle it. So that means when the
clock strikes midnight, or whatever, 11 whatever is late,
then you have to make that call. Otherwise, you're venturing off
into
dangerous territory. So just something very beautiful. Because
why? Why is it beautiful? They want to protect your spirituality
at all costs. That's what Sharia is right? Protect spirituality at
all costs. Even if things are permissible, they might not be the
best Yeah.
Whatever happened
feel like you were
tired or
rushed to find out what what was taken from me to get into
my job, right?
Fear of missing out on the opportunity? How can we stay
steadfast to be okay.
I would say the ability to be able to gain that perspective usually
comes from experience, which is tough, but it's learned. Number
two is good company. You know, I think being around good people who
can help give you perspective when times are going south when times
are not good, is something that provides you
ample ability to see through the fog. Because sometimes your
friends can see it you can't you know, the famous he wasn't good
for you. Right?
mean that movie lines and like it's a lot of, you know, don't
worry, he wasn't even good for you. You're better off without him
right? Or her whatever it is. It's usually the other way around.
Right?
That that's actually like that's actually a prophetic example of
Naseeha right because then they'll see what doesn't just mean advice
means to purify NASA to an awesome the Arabs and say I purified the
honey. So sometimes when your friends are giving you that
sincere advice, it's purifying you
Okay, so being around people who can see clearly when you're
rattled, is a good way for you to kind of someone's like a spotter.
When you're lifting, it's a good way for you to gain that strength,
even though you yourself are not necessarily doing it on your own.
But then you start to learn, right, and then the next time it
happens, you are able to have that perspective as well. Slowly,
slowly. So I would say number one experience, but also surround
yourself with good people. Be around your people, and then
you'll start to be able to pick up those traits and Charlotte.
Anything questions? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's, again, it just takes time. And you
have to trust the process, as they say, you know, the first time it's
really tough, and that's why being around people is helpful, because
they can pick you up. And then over time, you start to develop
trust, he actually is going to define to let go next. So we'll
talk about next Thursday.
Yeah.
yourself, for the sake of someone else? And
we do that.
How do you avoid burning out? That feeling
that you might not have?
Yeah, very good. There's a comment here from somebody I have to
correct. She said, no love for Orlando. I love Muslims
everywhere. I don't have to love their city, but I love them. Okay.
So that's a very good point. And this is something by the way, the
Prophet SAW Salem, like,
when you read stories of like, amazing people, it's important for
you to understand that those are descriptive, not prescriptive.
Because the difference when you read the story of Bacus, giving
away all of his money,
all of his money. And then he's being asked, What did you leave
for your family? So I left him alone His Messenger, that's not a
prescription? That was something descriptive, that was specific to
him. Not everyone can do that. How do we know we know? Because when
the Prophet SAW Selim was met with other people who wanted to do the
same thing, like cab, the Prophet SAW, Selim said, don't.
Don't give away all your money, save some for yourself and your
family. Right? Don't give it all to charity, why you can't handle
that. Okay. So what does that mean? That means that we all have
different capacities. And it's very important for us to be aware
of our capacities, and to listen to those around us when they try
to advise us in that way. So like, teachers, friends, family, and
say, Hey, I think you're, you're burning out a little bit, you
might need to, like, you know, take some time off or whatever
self care, go do what makes you happy, right? Go do what gives you
that sense of relief. Maybe it's working out, maybe it's maybe it's
ice cream, maybe it's taking a nap, whatever, right? You don't
have to be the person that always picks up everybody and does this
right. So that relationship and that good company is important
there as well, too.
But having that gauge internally to know when it's too much is is
absolutely critical. Because if you burn out, you can't help
anybody anymore. So you need to know what's safe for you. And that
overtime, there'll be days where you can do more on days that you
can do less. But you know sincerity what you can do? Yeah,
good question. I miss Pamela sometimes, and you feel guilty.
Never compare yourself to other people as well. Right? That one's
capacity is different.
Yeah, long one. Anybody else?
Did this?
Anyone have any questions? She's like,
fix the hijab.
All right. Medical people everybody Jeff Makeda. Yeah, yes.
Yes, yes.
Drop it
Yeah, communication is a skill that's like really difficult to,
like get better at because a lot of times, there's a lot of reasons
why but I think that it just becomes challenging for us to
communicate directly because we're afraid of so many different
outcomes. I would just recommend trying to communicate and have a
good conversation about your abilities, and what you're able to
do. You know, people said, The question for those who are asking
online is, how do you know like if people are leaning on you or
putting a burden on YouTube
Much like, where do you draw the line? I would, I would, I would
say that you need to first know that about yourself. And then you
can obviously communicate that to people. Especially if someone
takes a lot from you doesn't give, see, because when people give back
to you, it like refills, your ability to give. But when we help
each other, it motivates us. That's why the whole Starbucks
thing of like, pay it forward. Oh, the person before you paid for
your drink, you're like, Yeah, they'll take care of the next
person, right. So like, when you do stuff for others, like, it
gives you that ima, or when they do it for you, it gives you the
hammer to do for others. So if this person is like consistently,
just taking, taking taking, and you don't, you just don't have
that maybe you find yourself presenting them, it's better to,
it's better to pull back. And to make things clearer, rather than
develop hatred, and enmity for that person. It's better to kind
of, you don't have to tell them, I'm starting to hate you. Like
that's not a good way to do that. But you should say like, Hey, you
know, I know that I've been driving you or like I know that
you and I've been riding together for this assist and don't put it
on them make it more passive. So I know that you've been asking for
rides is not good. I know that you and I have been driving together
to school. It's a it's a passive way to say that. But I have to
start dropping off my sister as well at her school and it may be
difficult for me so let me know if there's any other way I can help
but it looks like this right thing may not work for the long term
right? Again, it may take a little bit of strategy. It may take a
little bit of you know, softness, soft landing.
Simone Biles, but right mashallah, but May Allah guide everybody
but
you can do it in Sharla okay.
First time she was referencing Harlequin, Alright, take care
everybody. We'll see inshallah so that way you