Safi Khan – Soul Food Hadith 10 The Word of a Believer
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Everybody. Hope everyone's,
Thanksgiving break went okay, that everyone enjoy their
break. Mhmm. Y'all feel rejuvenated?
I know sometimes, like,
no?
I feel I feel like they enjoy their
break, but they don't feel rejuvenated.
There there there's, like, a point where, like,
sometimes, like, a break is not really a
break. You actually feel more tired after it's
over. You guys ever feel that before? Yeah.
I think his finals week is, like, this
week. So Yeah. That break is just to
set us up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I
feel setup, bro. I feel that. There's also
I I I also think that between Thanksgiving
and
winter break is a very weird time. It's
like a time of, like, 2 and a
half to 3 weeks where it's just like
you're in limbo a little bit. You're, like,
ready for, like, the long break, but then
you also know you have finals coming up,
which is also strange for people. So,
that's good.
Everyone everyone get together with their family over
this break?
Everyone does anyone do, like, a traditional, like,
Thanksgiving meal with your family? Stuff with a
lovely No? Okay. It's going on. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
But any anyone anyone do a non American
dinner on Thanksgiving? Do you guys do, like,
basic food or, like, Arab food ever or,
like, African food? Anyone? Yeah?
Apparently, like, a lot of Muslims hate turkey.
I didn't realize this. A lot of Muslims
don't like their taste of turkey. They don't
know how to cook turkey. That's true. I
think it's just too hard to get it
right. Yeah. That is a big that is
a big possibility that they don't have to
make it. But they always say that, like,
well, it tastes gamey and, like, you know?
Gamey is good. Gamey is good. There we
go. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm just like, when it's dry. I
feel like everyone just likes chicken just because
it's juicy. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Turkey is juicy
too. You know? If you smoke it, it's
on points.
Yeah.
Those are You just need to have a
little.
Yeah. I don't know, though. That's good. So
we're we're we're starting off again,
this month. We actually have a short month
here at Roots anyway.
Everyone kinda usually knows that towards the end
of the month of December, we take a
little bit of a hiatus from the Roots
programming due to just winter break and people
traveling and, obviously,
the wintertime and stuff like that. So,
we have, soul food for the next couple
of weeks, and then, inshallah, we'll be taking
a break once y'all officially go on break
from school and stuff like that. So, we'll
enjoy, obviously, the sessions until, we are through
with this this year's programming. So we are
now on hadith number 10
up on your screen. Everyone should be able
to see it.
Everyone can can everyone see it? It's a
little too weird, a little far away. So,
Amir, can you just kinda tilt this a
little bit to, like, the sides of the
girls can see as well? So this hadith
that we are on today,
it's really interesting because it is actually a
hadith about
the definite one of the definitions of a
Muslim. Right? So whenever the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, you know, or or or in
the Quran, you read in a verse in
the Quran, like, the the word,
right, the word believer.
What usually comes after is a part of
what makes a believer who they are. Right?
And this Hadith is no different. This Hadith,
when you read it and you see the
word in it or of the word believer
in it, you know that what is to
follow is going to be a very important
description of what makes a believer who they
are.
And so this this,
specific,
hadith, I'll read it out to you guys.
I'm gonna kinda get y'all's take on it
as well, insha Allah, as we go forward.
Okay? So this hadith, it says,
Okay?
Okay?
So the translation is the word of the
believer
is like the seizing
of the hand or the seizing of the
wrist. Okay?
Or doesn't just mean hand because hand in
Arabic means it it it's the word.
Okay?
So the word cuff in Arabic is more
so the wrist. Okay? So what does that
mean to y'all when I read it? The
word of a believer is like the seizing
of the wrist. What does that mean? It's
a little bit of, like, a unwrapping situation.
What do you guys feel about it when
you read this? Anyone have any initial thoughts
when you read it?
Anyone have any ideas, any thoughts in your
mind?
Go ahead. Free space.
Go for it.
Anyone? Yes? Something close by keeping something tight.
Okay.
Holding something close or keeping something tight. Okay.
Like the seizing of a hand. Right? Just
grabbing a person's wrist or a hand. You
have to hold on to it tightly. Okay.
Very good. Very good. Anyone else?
Anyone else?
The word of a Muslim, what does that
mean? Anyone have an idea?
The word of a Muslim, what does that
mean?
Is it, like, when they say, like,
word as in, like, promise? Is that what
it's talking about? Good. Good.
So means like a promise or an oath.
Right? When you commit to something. When you
commit to something,
that is the word of a Muslim. Right?
And this hadith alludes to
this idea that a promise
to a
Muslim shouldn't just be like a casual commitment.
You know what I'm saying? Like, it shouldn't
just be like, oh, yeah. I'll be there
on Friday night.
And if I'm not there, then sorry. I
guess I'm just not there. It's not that
simple for a Muslim. It's different. Right?
And and this is something that, you know,
contemporary social life kind of takes, like, a
little bit of, like, a comedic take on,
where, like, people, like, over commit and under
under deliver and stuff like that. But in
the realm of Islam, it's actually a pretty
serious concept. Right?
Because this word,
means promise or oath or word, that it's
not just as casual statement. When you tell
somebody you're gonna do something, it's not just
like this casual laid back thing. It's actually
something very serious. And
one of the things that we we we
talk about in Islam very seriously, and this
is actually Allah mentions this in the Quran.
He actually says and I'll read this verse
out to you guys,
Why do you say that which you do
not do? He says that to people in
in the Quran. Allah Ta'ala he does.
He says it to the believers, and this
is where where it gets interesting because Allah
is not addressing everybody. He doesn't say
He says,
Oh, you who believe,
why do you say things that you do
not do? Right? And so for a believer,
the standard of excellence is always gonna be
higher than the average person.
And I want everyone to kind of internalize
that a little bit, that you are not
just like everybody else that walks around in
this in in in in the city of
Dallas. Right? You're not just like everybody else
that walks around in the country of the
USA. You're not just like everybody else that
walks around the world even. You have this
honor, this is a this dignity of being
a Muslim. Right? And to be quite honest
with you, sometimes
privilege and honor get a little bit lost
in translation when you have it. Right? A
person who
has wealth, sometimes they don't realize how wealthy
they are.
Right? When a person has certain privileges in
their life, they have no idea how good
they have it in their life versus other
people. And the same way actually goes with
Muslim people. How many of you have you
guys ever had a moment of, like like,
realizing that, like, you're happy to be a
Muslim? Anyone have ever ever had that in
their life before? It's usually a time where,
like, something bad happens or, like, you see
something that kinda, like, just takes you aback
a little bit and you realize, like, oh,
man, I'm Muslim. Thank God. Right?
But
with that gratitude comes a lot of responsibility.
Right? Like, we can't just reap the blessings
of being a Muslim and not realize that
there are some kind of responsibilities that come
along with. Right? Like, I can't just call
myself a Muslim and just be like, yeah,
I don't have to pray. I can't just
call myself a Muslim and say, I don't
have to do x, y, and z. If
I if I'm going to reap the rewards
of being a Muslim, I have to make
sure that I put in the work to
be a Muslim as well. And one of
the things that that that the prophet he
teaches us specifically in this hadith is that
you gotta walk the walk.
You know? It's not just about prayer. It's
not just about it's not just about fasting.
It's not just about zakah, or sadaqa, or
hajj, or umrah. It's about small things as
well.
It's about small things as well. Because when
you look at it, like promises,
oaths, right, the your word, it doesn't intrinsically
look like it's a religious thing right away.
You're like, oh, like, everyone makes promises.
Right? Just like everyone else eats food,
just like everyone else goes to work.
But the beauty of Islam is that every
single one of these details in life
has spiritual connotations to them.
Right? And so promises are the same way.
And Allah challenges you as a believer if
you are a believer and you call yourself
a believer and you reap the rewards of
being a believer, then you then
you gotta make sure that what you say
is what you do. So that verse in
the Quran, right?
Why do you say that which you do
not do? It's one of the biggest challenges
that Allah throws out to humanity.
Right? Like you say that you believe in
God,
but when I look at the security camera,
it's not adding up to me. You know
what I'm saying? Like, you say that you're
a Muslim,
you say that you believe in Allah, but
you don't do x, y, and z. And
this is found in other hadith of the
prophet by the way.
The prophet he says, woman he says,
if you if if you're if you're a
person who believes in god and and and
the hereafter, then you should honor your, your
your guests.
You know,
You should honor your neighbor.
Then speak good or just be quiet.
So these are smaller requirements of being a
believer. That if you're a believer, you gotta
sometimes pay attention to these finer details in
life. It's not just about the big picture.
It's sometimes those little things that make up
that big picture. You all understand what I'm
saying so far? Now,
one of the things about oaths, and this
is it's kind of like a really interesting,
point here,
is that
one of the biggest difficulties or challenges of
promises
or
oaths or trusts or whatever they may be,
is that
it's always harder to keep them when you
don't want to keep them anymore,
when it's inconvenient for you to keep it.
Right?
Can someone give me an example of this?
Somebody give me an example of this. When
is it hard to keep a promise? Anyone?
Wanna share something? When When's it hard to
keep a promise?
There are moments where it's easy to keep
a promise. Right? It's okay. When's it hard
to keep a promise? Someone share something with
me?
I guess someone doesn't look at that deep,
like, a really bad one. Like, if we
saw something, it seems someone bad, but then
they're like, oh, can you keep a promise?
Well, it gets pretty hard not to because
it's let's say it's like a crime or
something. Okay. Okay. So when something if somebody
does something bad,
and you don't wanna, like, expose them, I
guess, or something like that, like, there is
it's hard to kinda keep your promise to
kinda protect their dignity. Okay. Sure. Yes? Like,
when you, like, say you're going through something,
and then you're just like, god, you just,
like, leave this right, like, how many of
you do?
Yeah. I feel you. I feel you. Okay.
Gotcha. So it's like a almost like a,
like, a one time pass. Right? You're like,
oh, give me this one time. I'll do
it. I'll never do it again.
Just this one time. Right? I'm weak. I'm
a human being. You know me. Right? It's
your girl.
Very good. Alright. Very, very good. Aliza, you
have something?
When there's some type of benefit in it
for you. Oh. What do you mean by
that exactly?
Like,
like, it like, you know how, like, when
like like, for example, like, you were receiving
something from somebody Uh-huh. But it's not really
something that you can accept. Okay. Islamically.
Okay. But, like, it's still,
like like, in your human nature. Yeah. Like,
just in general. Like, you shouldn't accept it
or, like, it's gonna lead you to do
something worse, but it's technically a benefit. Okay.
I got you. Okay. Cool. So, like, so
so so it's almost like a tempting situation.
Right?
Very good. Now one of the and and
this is really cool because I I all
of you guys kinda touched upon something that
I wanted to share with you all. There
was actually this moment
in the the Sira, the the the biography
of the prophet
where he was also kind of like I
would say, like, swindled into making a commitment
that seemed very unfair, and a lot of
you may have read about this already in
your life at some point. It was a
it was a chapter on the prophet's life
called Hodeibia,
where like he wanted to go and do
umrah, but he was refused. Right? He was
basically kind of turned away because the Muslims
didn't want him to do umrah that year.
They almost wanted to kinda play, like, psychological
mind games with him. They're like, oh, you
traveled all the way from Medina. Oh, I
guess that kinda sucks where you gotta turn
around now.
And and and and one of the things
that was about that was that, you know,
when you set out to do something in
your life and you get rejected,
it's very interesting to see how a human
being reacts to that rejection. Right? You all
ever you all ever find out things about
yourself when rejection happens to you? Like, how
do you handle it? How do you react
to it? Because, dude, life is great when
everything goes your way. Right? Like, when whenever
you get those great, you know, test exam
results back that you want, everything's happy and,
you know, everything's cool. You know, when when
your friends are cool with you and everyone's,
like, you know, like, holding hands and swinging
and dancing, like, it it's great. But when
what happens when that argument takes place?
What happens when you get that, you know,
bad grade back? What happens when you don't
get your application looked at by the by
the by the boss? What happens when you
rejected from a certain school or a certain
career path that you wanted? How do you
react to that? The prophet he went all
the way to Mecca, and he realized literally
as he was on the doorstep of the
city of Mecca that these people came out
and they're like, yeah, this ain't happening this
year. You know? I don't care that you
basically
chose to sacrifice half of your your your
month this month traveling. I don't care that
you put all of your wealth into traveling.
I don't care that you took all of
your community and brought them here. I don't
care. And they themselves literally brought they they
kind of formulated this contract called Hudaybia. It
happened right at this area called Hudaybia.
And they basically made the prophet
sign on this pact, this oath.
And and and and I don't do you
guys have you guys ever kinda read the
oath of Hudaybia? Anyone? Have you guys ever
seen like the clauses of it? So there
there are basically 3 very interesting clauses. Okay?
Number 1, they said that
you're not allowed to enter Mecca this year.
That's the first thing. Okay? You're not allowed
to come this year. I know you're right
here, but you're not allowed to be here.
It's like crazy. It's like a psychological, like,
torture because they're like, no. No. Just let
me do this. I'm literally right here. It's
like going on a vacation
and you land
and, like, the airport security tells you you
gotta turn back around. That's a pretty wild
way that happens if people wanna go to
Umrah sometimes, by the way. It's, like, just
torture. Right? You literally land there and you're
in Saudi. And they're like, yeah. No. Can't
come this year. If this happened, do you
think this has only happened to the prophet
that happened literally
this year actually?
And they say you're well, you're not coming
this year. You gotta get back. You gotta
get out. But you can come next year.
You can come next year. This time next
year. That's the first thing. The second thing
they said was,
hey, if
anybody
from Madinah
comes to Makkah, like, meaning, like, if a
Muslim comes from Madinah to Makkah,
we get to keep them.
We're not gonna send them back to you.
We gotta keep them. Because one of their
biggest fears is basically Muslims are growing to
this, like, great number. So they're like, you
know, if I'm if a Madinah comes to
Mecca, then we get to keep them in
Mecca. We don't have to return them to
you.
But, here's the third clause.
If a person goes from Makkah to Medina,
you have to return them back.
You have to give them back. Now, in
your mind right now just like think to
yourself. Does this in any way whatsoever
sound fair to you at all? Like, absolutely
not. It's, like, it's it's probably the most
unjust thing you can think of. Right? Like,
kid
could look at this contract,
read it like a lawyer, and be like,
yeah, this is weird. Like, your 5 year
old nephew could do that. It's just it's
super one-sided. Right? But the prophet he said,
you know what?
Check this.
Allah is testing us right now. At least,
he's giving us the opportunity to come back
next year. Although this doesn't seem fair, there's
a reason why this is happening. Okay? Now,
after this was over, this is really really
interesting.
There was a person by the name of
Abu Jandal,
and he
basically was so taken aback by the character
of the prophet and how he handled that
situation, the high stress situation that he was
like, dude. He was on the other side,
but he was like, yo. I wanna be
Muslim now.
He's like, I see the way that he
handled rejection.
If this is anything
that Islam has to kind of, like, give
me or if this is anything that Islam
kind of embodies, I want part of it.
I wanna be a part of it. So
he
after this is over, he goes to Madinah.
He goes to Medina. He's like, yeah, so
Allah, I've come here. I'm ready to accept
the slum. I'm so excited to be joining
your community,
but what was the part of the contract?
What's part of the contract?
Dude, it sucks.
If a comes to Medina
by contract,
you gotta return
them. By contract, you agreed to this.
You you gave your word on it. In
fact, Ali ibn Abi thought of the prophet
cousin, he signed for the prophet
He signed. He said, yep. This this contract
is verified and authenticated
by the the the the, you know, the
the consent of the prophet, SAW, and
so when the prophet,
SAW, Abu Jandal, don't you think it broke
his heart
That, like, he had to tell him, like,
no. You gotta go back? It broke him.
It broke his heart. But he told Abu
Janda, he goes, yo. I'm sorry.
I'm very, very sorry and I would love
to have you here as much as I
would love to have you here.
I would love to have you here in
like a year.
Because we just signed a contract that says,
if you come here from Mecca, I gotta
I gotta rent I gotta send you back
over there.
And even though it's not it's a contract
that I don't like, even if something that
is inconvenient for me, I have to honor
that contract.
And it was really incredible, you'll find out
later InshaAllah when you study kind of stuff
like that, you'll realize that the Hudaybiyyah contract
was eventually broken by the Muccans not by
the prophet
That's how much he honored, like, oaths and
promises.
He was like, this is low key, like,
serious stuff. It's not like a joke. Even
when it's inconvenient
for you
to break a promise or to break a
trust, it is incumbent upon you as a
Muslim
to keep it. No matter how inconvenient it
becomes for you in your life at that
moment. Right? And so,
one of the things and I wanna kinda
share this with you guys. I'm actually gonna
pause this hadith and kind of go to
this kinda second hadith that I wanna kind
of share with y'all really quickly inshallah because
I think it's really, really, really deep.
And I wanna kind of read this with
you guys because this also
is a hadith that kinda talks about the
opposite of what it means to break a
promise.
Okay? And and this we can kind of,
like, kinda infer this as a Muslim that
whenever Allah, the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
give us, like, a they give us a
lesson or they they teach us something, we
can assume that the opposite is probably also
something that is important as well. So, for
example, if Allah Ta'ala says in the Quran
that profanity and vulgarity
is something that you shouldn't do, then we
can safely assume that, like, saying good words
is something that we should do. Right? So
if so if the prophet says that, you
know, you should love for your brother what
you love for yourself, then we should also
assume that what what you dislike for yourself,
you should also dislike for your brother or
sister. You all understand what I'm saying here?
So the opposite of of of of keeping
your your promise
or keeping a trust is breaking it. And
the prophet he says that there is a
lot of dangerous stuff when it comes to
breaking your promise. So I'm gonna have someone
read this out for me in English real
quick, Insha'Allah.
Who's who's confident in their English reading?
Not Arabic.
Anyone? Any any girl wanna read? I feel
like girls are always better at reading than
guys are. This is generally the truth. Sofia,
go for it. Go go do do the
English part.
The prophet
said there are 4 traits. Whoever has them
is a hypocrite, and whoever has one of
them, then
whoever has one of them that has one
of the traits of hypocrisy
until he gives it up. When he speaks,
he lies. When he makes a promise, he
breaks it. When he makes a covenant, he
betrays it. And when he argues, he resorts
to foul language.
Really, really interesting.
This is deep. What I want you guys
to do really quickly is this. Y'all see
the 4 traits at the bottom?
So so so so the 4 traits right
here. I'm gonna, like, kinda highlight it for
you guys. These are the 4 traits right
here. Alright?
So he says,
he
says
Okay?
What do you guys
see similarities in in these 4 trades?
Why do they lead to why why why
are they similar? They're not completely broken apart.
What what what similar areas you guys see
in these these 4 trades? How are they
together in a way?
In a weird way. Can someone, like, give
me something? When he makes a covenant, he
betrays it, when he argues or sorry. I'll
I'll highlight more. Yeah. When he makes a
promise or when he speaks, he lies. When
he makes a promise, he breaks it. When
he makes a covenant, he betrays it. And
when he argues, he resorts the foul language.
How are these 4 how are how are
some of these kinda tied together? Anyone anyone
have an idea as well? Good. We're all
talking.
They're all talking? They're all, like, getting a
promise or Okay. We're all talking.
Okay. Good. Good. Good. Good. Okay. Anyone else?
Anyone else see similarities in in some of
these 4?
I can see some.
Like, if it's not one thing, it leads
to something else because when you're lying, then
no one's interested. Oh. So breaking apart is
an interesting
Interesting. So says,
when a person's when a person lies,
but when they lie,
then they're more prone to breaking a promise
because they're known to lie. Right? Very interesting.
Okay. Very good. Anyone
else? Anyone else? Anyone else?
How these 4 connect to each other in
a in a in an interesting way?
Anyone else see a similarity?
When you are used, you're resourceful to foul
language.
Anyone? It's like if they don't go that
person's way, then
he tries to make it like he kinda
just gets mad.
Do you hear what Samir just said? Say
it again. Say it again. Say it again.
I forgot what it was.
Oh, lord.
Okay. Do you want me to repeat it?
Yes.
So he said that he he said that
when something doesn't go your way, you sometimes
resort to, like, Bulgarian foul language.
Like, when things don't go your way, you
start to kinda, like, fumble and, like, get,
like, really flustered and you start to kinda,
like, break character and you start getting a
little bit, like, less than savory in terms
of your mannerisms. Alright? Very good. You know
what I see in this? It's really interesting.
That
in a in an interesting way,
these
all, like, I think said this, they lead
to one another.
Very interesting. Right?
When they speak they lie.
Right? One of the trace of hypocrisy is
when they speak they lie. Okay?
And the second trait of hypocrisy, the prophet
he says,
When he or she makes a promise, they
end up breaking it.
So it's a trait of hypocrisy the prophet
says. That you're hypocritical
if you promise somebody something and you later
on break it. Okay?
And then he says,
when they are entrusted with something, when they
make a covenant, right, or when they make
a Yeah. When they when they when they
agree to something,
when they make a covenant, they betray it.
And the difference between, like, the second and
the third one is that, like, the promise
is more of, like, an active thing, like,
when they actively promise something that they break
it. And then when the prophet says,
is more of, like, a receiving one. Like,
when you basically are kind of, like, a
standard buyer kind of, like, you're kind of,
like, you know, you you you didn't necessarily
actively make a promise. You were just entrusted
with something in your life. Right? Like, you've
been entrusted with certain things in your life
and and you just didn't show up for
it. Right? That's kind of, like, more of
the third one. And then the 4th one,
obviously, we all know what it means.
What that when they argue, when they talk
to people, they just basically break all rules
and protocols. They basically start using vulgarity and
and profanity and all these different things. What
I see in this
is
that usually usually,
when a person is comfortable doing one of
these things, they're okay with doing all 4
of them.
You understand what I'm saying here? That when
a person
is okay,
there's like a there there is almost like
this this pattern of breaking promises.
They're more likely than not going to be
okay not fulfilling the rights that people have
on them.
Do you understand that?
When a person is okay using vulgarity
and using profanity,
they're okay with lying at certain times of
their life as well.
And the prophet was was was very profound
when he said these things. He didn't ever
say things purposelessly.
He always set things purposefully.
Right? So this has incredible meaning behind it.
Right? And the reason why I brought this
up is because I wanted to kind of,
like, share with you guys the the the
seriousness of the prophet,
like, talking to us about keeping our oaths
and promises. That if you do not, you
fall into this realm of hypocrisy. Now, it
doesn't mean that you're just like a straight
up hypocrite, you're like Nifab, you're you're a
when when when you when you do these
things, but it means that you are carrying
the trace of hypocrisy. Right? And if a
person really doesn't wanna be associated with something,
they don't even wanna have any sort of
small branch of it either. Right? Like, if
I like, I'm not a liar. Right? I
don't wanna be known as a liar. But
if I lie sometimes,
I'm doing something that a liar does. You
understand what I'm saying? Like, it might not
be the the the it might not be
my entire description, but I've fallen into one
of the traps of lying.
Right?
If I like, I don't like backbiting. Right?
I'm not a backbiter. But one time, I
had to put my foot on blast in
front of other people when there were 1
that person wasn't around.
Now I'm not a backbiter
by nature. Like, I it's not my identity.
But now, I've fallen victim into doing something
that involves backbiting. You understand what I'm saying
here? So, like, you're almost involving yourself in
something you don't wanna be involved with. Alright?
And so, the final part of this hadith
is very beautiful and I wanna kind of
and and and this is where I wanna
get a little bit of a group discussion
going. The final part of this hadith, the
prophet he mentions.
He says,
Okay?
Which means,
it's like holding a person's hand or wrist.
Okay?
So,
now that we've gone through all of this,
the prophet was saying
that a person who makes a promise, a,
a believer who makes a promise, it's like
holding the wrist of another person or holding
the hand of another person.
What does this last part mean to you
guys now?
Yes, Aliza. Go for it. It keeps you
in check.
Good. Good. You you keep on you have
something else? No. Oh, it keeps you in
check. Keep you in check. You're like, good.
That's it. Keeps you in check. Nothing else
said. Okay. Good. Very good. Anyone else?
When When someone's holding someone else's wrist, what
does that remind you of?
Handcuffs.
Good. What did you say? I said a
baby. Like a child, almost? Okay. What did
you say? Handcuffs. Handcuffs? Why? It's kind of
binding more. Oof,
man.
Very good.
One of the commentators of this hadith said
exactly what's your name again, bro? Rayon. Rayon.
Exactly what Rayon just said.
It's that when you
promise something to somebody,
it's as though you've made, like, this physical
bond. You all watch Harry Potter?
Unbreakable vow. Right? Like, you've made this, like,
physical bond with a person. Right? You've almost,
like, handcuffed yourself spiritually.
You've tied yourself to this person,
and you cannot unshackle yourself from this person
until you fulfilled your oath.
Until you fulfilled your oath now. You can't
just be like, yeah, I'm done.
Because you know why? And this is something
really crazy. Yeah. I'll take this in right
here.
Even if you have broken away from that
shackle, that handcuff, that handcuff is still weighing
down the person that you left.
Y'all feel me?
That you've kind of like parted ways.
You've said like, oh, yeah, you know, I
broke the promise and it's all you now,
I'm gonna leave you to it. That person's
still way dumb by what you left them
with.
And that's something that a believer is just
not okay doing.
You understand what I'm saying?
And so one of the, you know, one
of the the the kind of pieces of
tangible advice that I'll share with you guys,
and we'll open this up for q and
a, and this is where I want to
also answer questions, and I'll take it back
to you.
She's looking at me like she like, I'm
the most detestable person ever, but it's okay.
She'll she'll get up for it. But,
but,
but one of the most tangible piece of
advice I can give you guys right here,
and this is something that I honestly well,
I I actually struggle with this a lot
in my life growing up, and I still
kind of, like, this is like a character
trait that I have I have trouble with
still to this day.
Over committing and under delivering.
That's, like, a really big thing.
Right? How many of y'all have had, like,
moments in life where, like, friends ask you,
like, if you can do x, y, and
z? And you're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm
definitely down to do it. And then the
time comes and you're like,
you know,
life. Right? Like, it's crazy.
And and and and and and it may
have started as, like, a once in a
while type of thing, where, like, oh, you
know, like, this person doesn't really ever do
that to me, or, like, they usually follow
through. But once we start kind of, like,
going through this kind of vicious cycle of
overcommitting and under delivering,
it becomes very habitual for us.
Like the prophet he said, that one just
leads to another.
That when you start promising things that you
cannot fulfill, you're gonna be okay lying more.
Right? This is where the hadith comes into
fruition.
That, like, if you if you if you
make a promise with somebody,
and there comes a moment where it's time
for you to fulfill that promise and it's
not convenient for you anymore to fulfill that
promise, will you go lengths and bounds to
actually
through, will you sometimes lose your temper and
say things that you shouldn't say, you will.
You see where the hadith comes into play
here? It's very, very incredible how the prophet
doesn't think he he found he he used
to think y'all. It's incredible. And so one
of the things I would say to you
guys is and I know this is and
and this comes from, like, a brotherly, you
know, point of view that, like, it hurts
sometimes to tell people no. How many of
y'all have a hard time telling people no
sometimes? You're like, someone asks you, they're like,
hey, can you please do this? You know,
I would really appreciate it. We love you
so much. We would love you to be
there. And you're like, oh, you love me?
I guess. Right?
It's like those emotions start kinda like playing
because when someone tells you they really want
you there or, like, they they would really
benefit from you being somewhere, you're like, oh,
man. This person really likes me a lot,
and they really benefit from and I really
wanna be there for them. But, at that
moment, you gotta be honest with yourself.
Because
telling that person no,
the pain that you're going through, telling that
person no, is still less painful than you
promising and not showing up the day of.
Y'all feel me?
Like, you like, I know it hurts.
Like, when a friend asks you, like, hey.
Can I count on you? You're like,
yes, but no. Right? Like, not that night.
Right? And I know it sucks. It really
does because you wanna be there for them
every night. Right? You wanna be there for
them as much as you possibly can, and
it hurts you to not be there for
them sometimes.
But the pain of, like, receiving a text
at, like, 6:30 PM, when you're supposed to
be somewhere at 7, after you said all
week that you'd be there,
that's the worst pain ever.
Because now, they're left with the shackle,
this hand cut. They're like, well, now it's
me on my own now, I guess. Now,
I gotta scramble.
You see what I'm saying here? So as
a Muslim,
it's really, really,
really incumbent upon all of us to make
sure that number 1, we, a, understand how
serious odes and promises are,
and b, understand the opposite of a person
who keeps their promises in the earth that
we are actually, like, venturing down the very
dangerous route of hypocrisy. And number 3,
knowing that sometimes being very honest and upfront
is actually the
way that you can honor your oaths and
promises.
Right? Just telling people what you can and
cannot do. I just can't do that. It's
not in my it's not in my capacity
to to to do what you want me
to do. I just can't. I'm sorry. I
would rather be honest with you than lie
to you and not come through for you.
You understand what I'm saying here? So that's
the ending piece of advice I would share
with you guys. Okay? So, anybody have any
questions? Anything?
Questions?
Any sort of comments? Any sort of reflections
that you, yourself, you have that you'd like
to share with all of us that we
can learn from from you?
Anyone?
I have a question. Sure. Go. Comment. Or
The older you get I mean, this Hadith
is beautiful.
But, like,
you're just, like, I'll let you know. It's
never, like, yeah. I'll show up and then
not show up. It's just well, for me
personally, it's just like, oh, I'm gonna let
you know if I can do it or
not. So that's really interesting you bring that
up, Millian. So because I don't know. You
guys Yeah. No. I got you. I got
you. I feel you. I feel you. It's
all the men. Uh-huh. It's all the men.
The meme. There's this meme that says, if
I it said, I'll let you know. Just
call them. Let me get your go ahead.
So I'm
So I interestingly, this is really interesting that
you guys bring this up. I,
was actually, like this is somebody that obviously
I kind of, you know, learned from and
and and,
you know, I I keep in my company.
I also have this trait of saying, I'll
let you know.
And this person also kind of told me
something that I I don't think about. You
know, like, sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah. I'll
let you know is is a great, great
response. Right? Because I'm like I'm like it's
like inshallah. Yeah. Like, God controls all. Right?
What are you doing challenging God's will? Like,
it's
I can't say yes or no. Only Allah
knows.
But
there's also this kind of, like,
I'll let you know harm that comes along
with that phrase as well. And I'll I'll
tell you guys why. And I do this
a lot too. And I'm I'm it's like
I'm pointing my finger the finger at myself
before anybody else.
When I say I let you know, I've
realized it almost, like, leads people to hope.
Like, even if you in your mind, you
know what I'll let you know means.
Because I'll let you know means something to
you very clearly. You're like, yo, I'm not
coming.
You're like, I'll let you know
what time I'll be going to bed that
night. You know? I'm gonna complete my phrase.
But to them, I'll let you know means,
oh, they'll shoot me a test
at, like, you know, Friday morning telling me
if they can come or not. I'm gonna
plan as though they might be able to
come.
So
the advice that I received that I'll share
with you guys
is that
the best response is to say,
again, Islam is all about suppressing the nafs.
It's so incredible. Right? The there are so
many companions of prophets that somebody used to
say that I've never fought anything more severe
in my lap than my own soul,
than my own ego. Because my ego just
loves to be satiated.
It loves to be loved. It loves to
be revered. It loves to be wanted and
liked by other people.
So whenever there comes a moment where, like,
my soul gets threatened
by, like, the the the the disapproval by
others, it starts feeling very uncomfortable. And this
is why we're like, yeah, for sure. Like,
I'll be try I'll I'll try to be
there, you know? I'll I'll I'll I'll maybe
maybe, put me down for a maybe.
But you have to ask yourself, Islam is
not always about how you feel, Islam is
about how you make other people feel as
well. And And I know that kinda goes
against some of, like, the self care and
self help stuff like that. People kinda, like,
throw out nowadays really. Oh, don't worry about
other people. Worry about yourself, girl. Like, no.
No. No. It's not by the way, it's
not always about that. Low key, it really
isn't always about that because sometimes, like, sometimes
sometimes Islam will be like, no. No. No.
It's you should think about how other people
think sometimes as well Because also, other people's
rights are important too. Right?
We have a college,
halakha or the college bonfire halakha,
on December 11th. So it's a Saturday.
Not this Saturday. Next Saturday, we have a
college bonfire inshallah. So December 11th,
I believe 6 PM. Just kinda don't Is
it gonna be here? It'll be here. Yeah.
Yeah. It's dude, the the outside bonfire area
is so cool. It is so cool. Like,
that road in Southlake?
Yeah. Yeah. I think you're in Southlake.
Yeah. Yeah.