Safi Khan – Soul Food for College Students The measure of sincerity.
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having said that, we are now going to
begin
session 6, advice 6,
in our soul food series on Ayush al
Waleed, Imam Badawi's dear beloved son.
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So
alright. Perfect.
Okay. Assalamu alaikum, everybody.
Welcome back. Welcome back to our study of
Imam Al Azadi's advice to his student.
Tonight, if you guys have or you should
have in your hands,
the, the the handout here,
about what advice we're gonna be covering tonight.
The team is actually,
of his 6th advice is actually continued
from the previous one and even continues into
the next one a little bit.
But this is like a nice little,
transition that he makes,
when he talks about sincerity. And last week,
we talked about a little bit about sincerity.
And we talked about some of the different
measures of sincerity. Like, what what are some
of the measures of sincerity is that you
make sure that you're not just, you know,
doing things for the wrong reasons, that you
know why you're doing something. And the story
who remembers the story that we mentioned last
week? These are really,
slightly intimidating, maybe a little bit scary story
that was told.
You can jog our memory
about the man who worshiped for 70 years.
You guys remember the story?
Yes.
And what happened?
Okay.
Yes.
So Allah sends an angel to this guy
after worshiping for 70 years, and the angel
tells him, like, great,
but just wanna let you know,
it looks like you're not gonna enter paradise.
You're not going to Jannah. You're not going
to heaven. And what does the guy say?
What is his response?
Mhmm. Very good. His response, shockingly,
is that, well, I worship Allah because that's
what I'm that's what I'm supposed to do.
It's I I'm not necessarily always thinking about
this transaction.
Right? And this
the the I know this you know, I
wanna clarify something because I know a lot
of people online, Instagram, and stuff are like,
what what shouldn't we shouldn't we strive for?
Isn't that part of the purpose? Yes or
no? Should we hope for? Yes or no?
Yes. Okay. Very good. So is it wrong
to worship Allah then after you worship? Is
it wrong to pray and then after you
pray, for example, you're like,
oh, I'm I'm, you know, I I'm not
I'm not I didn't do that for agenda.
No. Of course, we do that for agenda.
But but
what the story is trying to get us
to think about
is how many actions do we have with
Allah where it's almost like a purchase at
a store.
Okay, Allah. I prayed, now give me this.
Okay, Allah. I did this, now give me
this.
That relationship is not a relationship.
That's a, like, a that's a business transaction.
Right? Like, when you come to PAX and
you pay for coffee, you get coffee. But
you're not friends with the barista unless you
are, then hopefully they shouldn't charge you. Right?
But, like, you're not friends with that person.
But when we talk about our relationship with
Allah, it's not the same as, like, paying
somebody for something.
Right? We don't just pray because we wanna,
like, attain something. No. There's there's deeper meaning
to that. Right?
Like, how many of you, your parents,
did something for you and you did not
say thank you? Not because you were being
mean, but just because you forgot ever in
your life, you forgot to say thank you.
Absolutely.
For sure, it happens. It's natural.
Right?
But does that mean that they're not gonna
do it for you again? Has anyone's mom
ever quietly walked into the room while they
were studying and put a plate of sliced
fruit on their table?
Just my mom. Right? So and
and and usually, it's done. You might say
thank you. You might just be so zoned
in. Does that mean they're never gonna do
it again? No. Because they're not doing
the nice thing for you, for the reward.
They're doing it because they love you. So
the whole purpose of this story from this
person, from Anil Saeed, was that I'm not
only worshiping Allah because I'm trying to just
get some reward and move on. No. I'm
doing it because it's part of my
responsibility. It's my love of Allah that caused
me to do this.
And the byproduct
of that relationship
is that, yes, there is a reward,
But that's not the ultimate goal in and
of itself.
Right? That's not the ultimate goal in and
of itself.
So the next,
the next section,
who who wants to read for us? The
first little segment. Who wants to read?
Nice and loud.
We had one of the guys we meet
last time. So any any of the girls?
I'll go back to the guys, but yeah.
Go ahead.
Yes. Yes. Exactly. The first little section.
Anyone here pulled an all nighter before?
Stayed up late for whatever reason?
Okay. Why? What are some of the reasons
that we stay up late?
Yeah. Right.
I'm good.
Studying. Okay. Yeah. So we have that. We
had to get that one out of the
way. Right, Richard? We had to get on.
Okay. Studying. Why else? Yeah.
Liam, during our Milan. Alright. So we have,
like, the 2 best humans in the world
right now. Answer first. What else?
You're right. Video games. Okay. Recreation. What else?
What are some other kinds of, like, recreation
that we do?
Netflix,
social media, TikTok, Instagram,
YouTube.
Right? The related video is black hole that
just sucks you in.
And before you know it, you were looking
up, like, recipes for something, and now you
know how to install light fixtures. Like,
just kinda pulls you there. Right?
Yeah. And then staying up. And then and
then, eventually, what happens, you know, you look
at the clock. It says 12, and you're
like, okay. I'll go to bed in, like,
30 minutes or an hour or something. And
then before you know it, it says 3.
And, like, what have I done?
Right? And sometimes, like Sharifa said, like, we
do stay up for the right reasons. We
do stay up because we wanna study. And
that's what actually, my boss is gonna reference.
But he
says, how often
how how, you know,
How often have you stayed awake
reviewing your books and revising your knowledge that
you gained, studying what you had to study?
How often have you done that? The answer,
he's talking to his students. So how often
do students do that?
Pretty often. Right? If I ask college students,
like, hey. How often do you study?
What should,
keyword here, should a college student say?
A lot. I study a lot. Right? So
he's asking one of his students, like, how
often have you studied? Students answer is, it's
rhetorical. He doesn't need to answer. I I
study a lot.
Right? And then he says, I have no
idea why you did that.
Imam Al Khazadi says, that was so I
have no clue why you would do that.
Why did you do that?
It's like challenging the student. Well, isn't that
why I'm a student? Isn't that why I
exist? If your professor asked you, who stayed
up late last night studying? Raise your hand
and say, I don't know why you would
do that. You'd be shocked. Why are you
dismissing what I'm supposed to be doing? But
then he continues. Go ahead.
Yeah.
Yeah. So woe to you is not something
that you might hear
commonly. But, basically, what he's saying that, you
know, in
that if your was for some sort of
acquisition of this world,
whether it was you know, he mentions, like,
having some of the,
to acquire some of the luxuries of this
world,
or
to,
not just to acquire the luxuries, but also
to have, like, the status of this world,
to be praised by people, to be celebrated
and praised by people, then he says,
then, you know, I have no idea why
you would do that. Shame on you. Why
would you do that? Why would you do
that? And then he says the next one.
Go ahead.
So on the opposite hand, if you were
somebody who is trying to revive the faith
of the prophet in your heart, the faith
of Allah in your heart, you were trying
to conquer yourself, you were trying to get
better, then you are blessed, then you are
blessed. Then finish the the the bit.
Yeah.
Subhanallah.
Then he says,
you know, this poet says
says this poet is speaking to Allah, staying
awake. The wakefulness of the eye for anything
other than your cause is a complete waste.
And crying for any other reason besides losing
you is completely false.
Right? Sounds really intense. But let's back up
a little bit and talk about what this
entire chapter means. And this is really important
because
Ramadan's coming up and we know that Ramadan
is the ultimate litmus test. More than anything
else, it really is. You know, why do
you do what you do? What what motivates
you to do what you do? What motivates
us to do anything that we do?
What are your big motivators, guys?
Why are you in school?
Are you in school?
To get a degree. But not really. You
don't care about a degree, do you? Degree's
pointless. It's a worthless piece of paper. What
does that degree give you?
It gives you career Yeah. Exactly. It gives
you prospect. Exactly. Right? So the degree itself
and I like how we're being honest because
it it's important when you talk about your
motivations to really talk about what motivates you.
You know? A lot of people say, well,
I wanna get an education. No. You you
could care less about the education. If somebody
came and offered you the same job
without the need to go through that process,
you wouldn't take it. Right? So long as
you wouldn't hurt yourself or somebody else in
the process. Right? So we go to school
to get a diploma, but not really that
diploma is just kinda like the stepping stone
along the way to get what? To get
a degree, to get a job, to get
gainful income so that we can pay for
the things that we like. So really what
motivates us is getting things that we like.
Right? Whether it's a house, a car, whether
it's getting married, things that are required.
Okay? So there are means and there are
goals. Many things that we want are actually
means. They're not goals.
Money is money has no value. Right? If
I gave you $1,000
cash right now,
you'd be excited. But what if every store
you went to says we don't take cash?
We only take Bitcoin. You're like, I knew
it.
Right? I should have invested in Bitcoin.
If you had cash in every store, said
we don't accept your cash here, then what
would you say? This cash is
worthless. So money itself is actually pointless.
What is
our motivation is not the money, but what
the money can get us.
Right?
So we and Allah tells us this. He
says,
that you love wealth. You didn't say money.
You said wealth. You love wealth. You love
the acquisition of wealth, and that's something that
Allah knows about us. It's one of our
greatest
motivators
is to acquire
things.
And so to give up your sleep how
many of you love sleep?
Whenever you get the chance to.
Like, sleep is one of the natural necessary
functions of the human being. It's something that
we have to do. It's something that we
enjoy doing. It gives us rest, and it
rejuvenates our body for the next day.
In order for you to give up sleep
for something, you must
love that thing.
You must love that thing or love whatever
that thing is gonna give you. So you
stay up and watch
Netflix. Why? Because you love that series. You
love the show. You stay up and watch
the Meghan Markle interview with Prince Harry.
Why?
Because you love them. Right? You love the
royal family, and you wanna know more. You
stay up eating or you stay up hanging
out with your friends or you stay up
working out. Why? Because you love doing that.
That's what you love to do. Right? Or
you love the way it makes you feel
more appropriately.
So when we give up sleep,
we are proving that we love something.
Right? I go to sleep, and then my
daughter wakes up, and she cries, I wake
up.
Now if I just slept through my daughter
crying and she just cried, baba, please, baba,
please, What would you guys say? You don't
really love your daughter that much, do you?
Because a parent can't really sleep when their
kids are crying.
So check this out. He says, subhanallah.
He says, how many nights have you stayed
up
studying,
hanging out, preparing, working, whatever it might be?
The answer is, like, I can't even count.
Can't even count how many nights, Imam Ghazali.
Why are you asking? And then he says,
now compare that to the amount of nights
that you've stayed up for Allah.
Do you really want Jannah?
That's his question. Do you want Jannah?
We say, yes. Of course. Raise your hand
if you wanna go to Jannah, everybody. Raise
your hand if you wanna go to heaven.
Of course.
Absolutely.
Have we stayed up one night making du'a
for that?
Like, on our own accord?
And the answer is maybe, but not as
emphatic as have you stayed up waiting for
the PS 5 to drop?
Have you stayed up waiting for, you know,
to order your new phone? Have you stayed
up waiting to hang out with have you
gone out?
You know, I I'm shocked, but I remember
when I was in college, like, the the
the next move guy. You know what I
mean? You know the person I'm talking about?
Like, the night the hangout's kinda winding down.
It's, like, 11 PM. There's always that one
guy who's like, so what's next? What's the
next move?
You're like, the next move is sleep.
And he's like, no. No. Where are we
going next?
It's Sunday. There's nothing open. He's like, it's
we'll go to a parking lot and sit.
And and now that I'm 33,
all that seems ridiculous to me. But I
remember I remember we used to go to
my friend's house and play FIFA in his
house in. His parents would come back from
Isha. I'd be like, sound like when there's
food in the kitchen. They'll wake up for
Fedr and be like, do you guys sleep?
We're like, you don't wanna know.
All night we'd be awake.
We'd go pray, pleasure. We'd come back, and
then, you know, if you miss sleep, it's
gone. Now you can't sleep anymore. It's like
the sun's out. The birds are out. You
feel ashamed.
You go to bed, the birds, like, what
a bum. Just looking at you, like, what
a what a loser. And you're just like,
god. Shouldn't have played people online.
It resets your whole day.
We we we do the craziest things for
the things that we wanna do.
We will literally give up 8, 9, 10
hours of sleep because of FIFA,
or because of 2 k, or because of
a movie, or because of a hangout. How
many hangouts have you gone to? You're like,
I should've gone home earlier.
I just wasted the last 2 hours. I
I should've just left at 10.
And we're so we're so generous with that.
But when it comes to Allah, we're very
cheap. Right? Very stingy.
Like, can you pray something after each other?
I'm tired.
It'll take you 3 minutes. I know I'm
so exhausted. Can I sit down and pray?
It's like, but you'll stand in line for
Black Friday
for a TV.
You know what I mean? Like, we'll do
the craziest things for that. So you know,
he says something really powerful. He says,
your love is your ultimate proof.
Your love is your ultimate proof. You want
to know
who you are. Just look at what you
love.
And and even more deep, look at what
you'll sacrifice for.
If you sacrifice for something, then that means
that is who you are.
Right? So as a father, I have 2
kids.
I will sacrifice for my kids.
I wanna do something, my kids say no,
I don't go.
Tonight, I'm leaving
to come here, and my kid's like, where
are you going, baba? I said, I gotta
go to work. He goes, don't go to
work.
In my heart, I was like, you know
what? Maybe I shouldn't.
Even though I knew I had to, but
because you love your kid, you never wanna
disappoint them.
Literally, guys, it's gotten to the point where
I've had something in my cart when I'm
shopping on my phone. I've had something in
my checkout cart,
and my son's like, baba, can I get
a Mario Lego set? And I've literally because
of budget, I've had to to take out
what I wanted
and put in what he wanted.
Right? So I had to take out what
I wanted and put in what he wanted.
That's crazy. Well, Lawi, many of you are
like, I'll never do that for anybody.
Wait till you have kids. It's nuts. It
blows your mind.
You'll buy yourself,
like, secondhand used clothing just so that they
can have nice stuff.
It's wild.
But you know what that means? It just
means I love him, and I love her,
my son and daughter.
My wife, the same thing. I will give
for my wife. My wife, unfortunately,
my kids broke her Apple Watch, and then
she decided to shower with it on. So
they cracked the screen, and then water got
in there. And she's like, why isn't my
Apple Watch working? And I was like, I
think it's because
you got water in there. Right? Now I
was looking to upgrade my watch
very soon because I have an old one.
It's slow. It's still on 2 2018.
That was a joke. Okay. So it's slow.
It's, like, really slow. So I was looking
to upgrade my own watch.
She tells me this, and I just go
and buy her a new watch. I'm like,
alright. Let's get your new Apple Watch. She's
like, no. No. No. I'm like, just do
it, man. You need it. It's literally as
a mother, that's how you take phone calls.
She has no idea where her phone is.
It's like Cocomelon or, like, YouTube Kids all
day. She's, like, talking to her wrist like
she's from the future.
Right? And I'm like, you need it more
than I do.
And because I love you, my wife,
I wanna make sure you have it more
than me just having a watch because I
was gonna get it. So Imam Khazani says
that's a sign of love.
Now charity,
interestingly enough, is one of those things.
How many of us have been able to
give charity
from that which we love? Allah says,
the hadith, the prophet says.
Says that you don't believe until you give
from that which you love.
That's why charity is so hard
because you love your money. You don't wanna
give it up.
How many of us have ever cleaned out
our closets before to give to charity? Anybody?
Gone through old clothes? You guys do that?
It's really good. You know, you go through,
you clean it up, make sure it looks
nice, you fold it, and then you go
donate it. You guys ever done that?
Good job. You know what
would say?
He'd say not good enough.
He'd say, why don't you keep your old
clothes and go shopping for somebody in need?
That's the real deal.
Says, have you ever gone to the store,
saw a shirt that you really liked for
yourself,
looked at the price tag,
cut that in half, and said, I'm only
gonna spend this much on myself so I
can buy something brand new
for somebody. I don't want the refugees wearing
stuff that I used to wear. I don't
want somebody in need wearing stuff that I
don't want anymore. Is that sadaqah, or is
that spring cleaning?
Right? That's what would
say. So you see how he's kinda, like,
hitting a nerve here.
If you love something,
then if you really wanna see if you're
the real deal, see if you can give
that thing away.
See if you can give that thing up.
See if you can sacrifice
that thing for what? For the greatest love,
Allah.
And if you're able to do that,
then you know you have proof. And that's
why the prophet
said, as sadaqah alburhan,
sadaqah is the proof
of what? That your faith is real,
that you truly love Allah.
Why is Ramadan the greatest example of that,
guys? How does Ramadan prove that we love
Allah?
I wanna hear some examples.
How does your Ramadan prove that you love
Allah?
You have what? Giving out food or water.
Giving out food or water. Very good. How
many of you guys love to eat?
Yes? Normal, natural, good, healthy, and you give
it up. You give it up for Allah.
You're like, okay. No. Why? Is there any
reason?
Everyone's like, well, you know, some studies show
that intermittent fast no. Don't talk about that.
Right?
You're giving up food and drink for Allah,
point blank.
Right? What else? What else do you do
in Ramadan? Yeah.
Mhmm.
Yeah. So you spend the night praying, maybe
going to the masjid. Last year, I know,
obviously, that wasn't the case, but maybe this
year, there may be some outdoor or even
some spaced out indoor stuff. You pray it
out all we have instead of doing what?
Yeah. Instead of just sitting on your phone,
instead of just doing anything else, you go
there for Allah. What else do you guys
do? Anyone here give up anything else? Tell
me what else you'd give up in Ramadan.
Things maybe that are not, like, necessarily haram.
Because those things, like, they're kinda easy to
give up. Right? You have to.
If you don't, then it looks really bad.
What are things that you choose to give
up? Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
You only watch for an hour? In Ramadan.
In Ramadan. Okay. You're, like, outside? Do you
like that's a different conversation.
You're like, we need to talk about I
have 3 TVs.
Okay? So you limit yourself to 1 hour
of screen time. That's impressive.
That's very impressive given how much we watch,
like, YouTube on our phones,
stuff like that.
She's like, I didn't think about that. She's
like, uh-oh. Right? No. But for real, that's
very impressive.
Good for you. Anyone else? Anyone here give
up music from a lot? Anyone here stop
listening music?
Okay.
What
else? What else?
Do you guys give up anything else?
No?
This is a really good thing to do
for this Ramadan,
to give up something that you don't have
to give up.
Right? I know people that, for example, like,
only wear the hijab in Ramadan. They don't
normally wear it. They wear it in Ramadan
because they're like, I wanna give up
my my you know, that part of me.
I wanna give it up for say in
Ramadan,
for Allah during that month and see if
I can do it. Right?
I know people who don't pray normally 5
times a day. Right? We all struggle, but
in Ramadan,
they're on it 5 times a day. They're
like, I'll do 6. I'm like, that's not
how it works.
That's not how it works. You can't just
they're like, but, you know, I'll make I'm
like, no. No. Do 5. Right? That's good.
Not more, not less. They do it in
Ramadan. Okay? I have friends who set aside
their food budget, whatever they would have spent
typically in a month of food, and they
give that to. Every day, they give to
sadaqa and Ramadan.
Right?
The reason why Ramadan is so powerful is
because it shows you who you truly love,
and it allows you to prove it to
Allah in those moments.
Because we really, 11 months out of the
year, just tell Allah that we love him.
We kind of just, like, come to him
with du'a when we need some things. But
Ramadan is the 30 days where you get
the chance to prove it by sacrificing, which
is what Imam Al Zali is saying here.
He says, you stay up all night doing
whatever you want, stay up for Allah sometimes.
Instead of talking to your friends late at
night, how how many of y'all close off
your night with a dua? You know, it's
interesting.
You guys ever seen a movie or a
TV show where, like, the religious Christian kid
is, like, kneeled over his bed in prayer?
You've ever seen that? Yeah. And it's oftentimes
it's oftentimes portrayed
as, like, somewhat comical, lighthearted,
like this little kid is praying because prayer
is what kids do because adults don't believe
in God. Right? There's kind of this interesting
sort of motive behind it.
But, that's actually something that we should do
every night, not kneel over your bed in
prayer. I don't want you guys oh, father.
That's not how we do it. Right? But
I want you guys to engage in du'a
every night. What does that mean? It means,
like, when you are about to go
retire for the evening, as my Downton Abbey
friends would say. Right? As you're gonna go
retire for the evening, and and you're done,
you know, you you're you're one step away
from just head on the pillow and knocking
out, You know, that ugly sleep, that good,
good sleep where you're real ugly, mouth open,
drool, just coming out. It's really good.
When you're about to do that,
go and make
or
freshen up.
Sit
towards the
and towards the direction of prayer, and open
your hands and just make dua to Allah
for 3 or 4 or 5 minutes.
Very brief. Let me give you some advice
on how to do this. It's very easy.
Number 1, we talked about this yesterday for
some of the, for the other program that
I'm doing, but I wanna share with you.
Number 1, talk about the things that you're
grateful for to Allah. There's 4 things you
have to hit. Number 1, your gratitude. What
are you grateful for?
Thank Allah. Exact everything. Good answer. Right? But
be more specific.
The more specific you are, the easier your
dua is. You know why dua is hard?
Because we're like, oh, Allah, thanks for everything.
I mean,
oh, Allah, give me everything. I mean, forgive
me for everything. I mean, duas in, like,
10 seconds.
Right?
No. No. No.
Talk about it. Talk about what you're grateful
for. Oh, Allah, thank you for this.
Oh, Allah, if you didn't give me this,
I don't know where I would be.
Oh, Allah, the health that you've given me,
the family you've given me, the support, the
friendship.
Oh, Allah, you've given me