Safi Khan – Soul Food for College Students Imam al Ghazali’s advices to his student #17
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Alrighty.
So we are gonna continue, Insha'Allah,
with
Imam Al Ghazali's 18th
advice.
So we finished the last one was 17,
but it it felt like it was so
many. It took us a long time because
there was, you know, 8 different benefits there
that Hatem al Hassan he mentioned.
But here we're gonna, insha'Allah, go over advice
number 18, which Imam Ghazali has given. And
the theme is actually something completely
different from the previous ones. If you want,
y'all can sit up here if you want
to, or you can keep the wall to
find. No no worries.
So the theme of this advice is actually
something unique,
so far. Like, he hasn't brought up this
topic at all up until this point.
And that theme
is the importance of having
someone that you can identify in your life
as being like a mentor or a teacher.
And this is something that when we look
at outside of the Islamic
realm,
we're very accustomed to this. Like, this is
something that we're very used to.
Does anyone here have any, like, internships? It's
all good. Anyone here have internship or anything?
Yeah.
Or, like, you if you are studying at
school,
sometimes, you know, you have obviously your classes
that you're taking, but you typically will have,
like, a professor
or somebody that you can, like, get a
letter of recommendation from or reference letter from.
And that kind of mentorship is something that
is really invaluable. If you wanna get a
job or
graduate and go to some sort of
postgrad school, like a master's program or something,
having that mentorship is something that is it
actually saves you a lot of stress, a
lot of headache, and a lot of money.
And
because people who have gone through experiences can
give you guidance, right?
And so when it comes to Islam,
the idea of having that mentor, that teacher
is something that is actually
completely and totally critical.
It's not a choice. It's not like, Oh,
I'll do it if I can or I'll
do it if I have time.
Having that relationship is something that is absolutely
indispensable.
Okay?
And so he begins by talking about
what it means to have a teacher. And
then he starts to say, what should you
look for in a teacher?
Like, not everyone's a teacher. Right?
And
in this age, especially
like on the Internet and stuff,
not everyone should be sought, not everyone should
be the person that you seek advice from.
There are certain qualifications and certain conditions
that scholars have given from, you know, a
1000 years ago,
as far as like, who are the people
that you should actually place your trust in?
Cause your faith is the most valuable thing
that you have.
And so he begins by saying that,
let me clarify for you what the travelers
on this path should do regarding their teacher.
He says, Every traveler
should have a sheikh or
what's also called a morshid,
which is like a spiritual guide or a
teacher, to instruct them and also
to cleanse them of the negative
characteristics, the bad manners
that they have through the process of tarbia.
And he describes
tarbia,
and he says that tarbia is like a
farmer
or a gardener
that goes into their gardening patch or their
garden, and they start to pull out the
weeds or the thorns from the garden that
could be problematic.
I actually did that this morning, oddly enough.
In my rose bush, we have these weeds
that are growing. And you have to go
and you have to extract them. Right?
Now tell me a little bit about that.
Anyone here garden before ever?
Yeah. Yeah? Okay. Alright. So what's gardening like?
A lot of work. It's a lot of
work. Okay. So
how
Okay.
K. So it's a lot of work to
garden. And so when you translate that analogy
to, like, your your your practice of religion
with your teacher, it's important to understand that
when you look to someone for advice and
you ask questions, right, someone comes up to
me after and I have a question
and they ask something,
it's not like an easy process.
Right? The process of
being refined and being purified and being kind
of
like grown. Tarbia literally means to grow something,
to mentor something.
It requires a lot of effort and a
lot of work. And just like anything that
requires work, it takes time.
Many people
think that when they engage with Islamic practice,
that it changes them automatically overnight. And that's
actually not the case. In fact, if somebody
does feel that way,
then typically it's unsustainable and they're gonna snap
right back out of it. So he starts
to compare
the sheikh or the
Ustad or whoever in the life of a
person to the farmer.
What's something else that you realize about
being purified from something?
What else
in this analogy of gardening or of cleansing
or cleaning?
Describe.
What is it like to clean something?
Yeah. Well, in terms of gardening, it requires
a lot of patience. Okay. Good. It requires
patience on on behalf of the
of the gardener
and the garden. Right? Because the garden takes
time itself. So you have to have patience.
It's not something that happens overnight. What else?
Okay. What do you mean by that? Like,
you have to go back and look after
your, you know, the cars or whatever you're
talking every day or, like, every week. So
it's not just like you find something,
Very good. You have to actually you know,
some plants even require watering, like, numerous times
throughout the day. If you're growing grass, you
have to water it pretty much like 4
or 5, especially in Texas. And it depends
on the environment.
So much of your growth as a person
depends on the environment that you're in or
the environment that you put yourself in. And
so if I'm gonna expect this class, soul
food, okay, I'm coming on Thursdays.
I'm gonna become a better person. Well, the
reality is that watering one time a week
is not sufficient for any plan.
Right? So if this is the only thing
that a person does, it's good. It's better
than nothing.
But there are other elements of practice that
have to be implemented in order for all
this stuff to work.
Right? Even my son Musa is 4, he
knows. It's not just water. It's not just
sun. It's not just soil. It's all 3.
So Allah mentions
the analogy of faith in the Quran. It's
actually the name where roots comes from,
that its roots are strong, and as a
result, its branches reach the sky.
Your branches won't be able to grow unless
your roots are firm, and your firm roots
require
nourishment.
Okay. So that's another good point. It requires
consistency. What else?
Okay. Good. What do you mean by that?
In a sense where you can put all
your, you know, energy into it, it doesn't
pan out the way you want it to
pan out or, you know, your flowers don't
bug the way you want
it.
On. Very good. So I might just take
out of the work work. But Okay. That
needs a little bit of extra care. Good.
Okay. Excellent.
Sisters, we're talking, about
the process of farming and how the analogy
of farming is being used to talk about
developing somebody, making them better. So he's talking
now about how everybody in the sun has
to have, like, a mentor or a teacher
that they reach out to. Is it okay
can I ask is it okay if the
guys scoot over this way and if the
sisters kinda come this way? You don't have
to get off the wall, but can you
You can sit on the wall. It's fine.
But can can we get on the wall
over here? Jessica, I can't see any of
y'all.
Like, if the if the sisters don't mind.
Like, there's a lot of wall over there.
You guys are more than welcome to take
the wall. That's fine.
Alright.
Just because I can't see y'all. So if
if anyone like raises their hand and stuff.
Okay. So he's talking now about this idea
of gardening and the other analogy that he
gives for Tarvia for purification is washing something,
is scrubbing something.
Who who does the dishes here?
Good.
Who has ever done the dishes before?
Alright. Who left a bowl of cereal in
the sink overnight?
And then it it was like cement.
Right? Or, like, if you if you boil,
if you cook something and on the bottom
of it, like, you boil milk,
on the bottom of the pot, it's like
it's part of the pot now. Right? It's,
like, in there. And, it's it's actually very
interesting, SubhanAllah, because there's so much analogy when
you talk about cleaning
substance versus cleaning the heart.
The reality is that cleaning substance, sometimes you
require what? What does it require?
Force. Force. Yeah. You have to use actually,
like, your muscles. What else?
What's better, hot water or cold water for
cleaning something?
Hot water. Actually, this is really funny. I
have a my my mom is Egyptian,
and I don't know what it is about
Egyptian, like, women, but, like, they're they lose,
like, their nerves in their hands, so they
don't, like, feel heat anymore.
So I actually have oh,
So I actually have a, I actually have,
like, this joke in my household, this running
joke that
hot water doesn't bother me because I I
when I wash the dishes, I turn the
water all the way on hot, and I
leave it there. And I I'm the recipient
of so much negative dua for my family
because when they turn it on, they they
just burn their hands. What's your issue? What's
your problem?
So this is something, but, you know, you
need to use hot water in order to
clean surfaces.
Right? Cold water sometimes doesn't help get rid
of that residue.
Even
the the the the material that you're using,
can you use like a cashmere blanket? Or
like, can you use like a nice fleece
blanket to wash?
No. You can't. Why? Because soft materials
don't get that sticky stuff off of the
stainless steel. Sometimes you have to use some
really rough stuff.
Right? Steel, wool, or something really harsh. But
all of that is used to achieve what
goal? The hot water, the force,
the rough. What does it use to achieve?
Cleanliness.
Purity.
So when Imam Ghazali here is talking about
this idea of purification
and how difficult it is, what do we
take from that principle is what? Sometimes purification
is not very pleasant.
It's not like the most pleasant experience.
You know? Anyone here exercise
or workout?
Right? In the first 10 minutes, you hate
your life.
Alright. Halfway through it, you're like, what have
I done?
And then when you're done with the workout,
you're like, that actually was very fulfilling.
That was very satisfying. Even though I'm sore,
even though I'm tired, even though I'm sweaty
and need a shower, I feel good.
Faith is very similar to that experience. And
Imam al Zadhi is saying that here. Whether
a person is gardening, and the gardener, when
they're gardening, they hate gardening. Right? Like when
you have weeds in your garden, you have
thorns, all that, it's it's a very annoying
process. But then what happens when you stand
back and look at it after you've cleaned
everything out and the rose bushes are alone
and the fruit is is is growing and
all that, the gardener says, wow. Look at
how worth it it was.
Right? You hate cutting grass in the 105
degree Texas heat, but when you stand back
and see your nice lawn lines, right,
you're like, how worth it was it?
Okay. So he says it's absolutely essential for
everybody to have that person who can help
scrub them,
to have that person who can help prune
them and clean their weeds. If you don't
have that person in your life,
a pot can't clean itself, a garden can't
clean itself,
and you can't clean yourself,
right, in that way, in the spiritual way.
So then he continues
and he says that, the follower of the
path
requires a teacher in order to improve their
character
and to guide them upon the path of
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Have you guys ever
had a moment where you thought you were
absolutely correct until someone showed you like a
mirror?
Anybody? Can you share that story?
Matal, if you were like really feeling it
as you were nodding, so can you share
that story?
Oh, oh, dang. That's awkward. I think there's
a time where
you, like, asked a question. I said something
confidently, and you're like, not so much.
Like, ask a question. I said something confidently.
You're like, no. Not so much. You're just
gonna shut up for a little
bit. No. Sorry. Did a humbling moment. Suck
for a lot. No. I didn't mean it
like that. But No. No. I know. But
you know what's funny is that the only
reason why probably I even am in that
position or whatever, it's like that happened to
me millions of times.
Right? Like, the the the, I'll never forget,
man. So I'll never forget.
And,
you know,
Omar here, Omar Bajwa. He's actually a masha'Allah
chaplain at Yale. So he's in town visiting,
and he he he does college chaplaincy full
time at Yale. You you guys know the
prestigious institution,
And not only that, but he has, like,
over a decade of experience doing it. So
he works with college students. So we were
at dinner last night, and he was like
he's like, yeah. I'd love to stop by
and see. And I was like, man, I
hope not. It's kind of embarrassing. But, he's
here, hamdulillah, for for a wedding and to
see some, some friends. So, you know, welcome,
Sheikh Omar and Jack Laukhedan.
And he could probably share and do this
do this session a lot better,
than I can, but I won't put him
on the spot because, you know, I don't
I know that whenever I travel somewhere and
someone does it to me, I'm, like, scrambling.
But what I will say is this, I'll
I'll never forget in one time and and
and, Shay, Omar, you probably have stories just
like this,
where I was actually at lunch with some
of my,
like, senior,
like, individuals in my life, people who were
teachers of mine. Right?
And
they were discussing something that was a little
bit sensitive,
and I spoke up and said something. Like,
I offered my opinion. And at the time,
I was, like, 24.
Okay? So it was, like, almost 10 years
ago.
And,
and I was there in front of, like,
really knowledgeable people, like these, you know, Shuyuk
and stuff who knew what they were talking
about, really knowledgeable people.
And,
one of my teachers, he looked at me,
and he's, like, come outside.
And, so we went outside,
and I thought,
like,
what's the big deal? Like, people were talking
about a certain topic, and I just kinda
offered my opinion and whatever. Now everyone at
the table was, like, double my age.
And I was, like, I think this. And
as soon as I said that, my teacher
was, like, come with me. And we went
outside, and we walked around the parking lot.
And you know, like,
you know there's those conversations where unless you
hear the audio, you don't know that the
person is being just destroyed?
Like, it just looks normal. Just looks like
2 people talking, but then you hear it
and you're like, that person is just being
the the floor is being mopped with them.
That was what was happening to me.
You know, he was like
he was like, what are you why are
you even talking right now? Right? And he's
like, you can't even grammatically dissect an Arabic
sentence, and you're trying to, like, offer your
opinion. This is a really nuanced issue. It
was a really it's like someone asking you,
like, hey. How do you think we should
treat this cancer? And there's, like, 17 doctors,
like, oncologists together, and you're like, I heard
turmeric helps. Like, you know what I mean?
Like, it's kinda one of those things where
I was like, what are you talking about?
Like like, you're not even you're not even
qualified to be qualified to be qualified to
be here, and you feel the confidence. So
so I remember going through that moment. Right?
And I remember being very embarrassed. Like, I
remember feeling very low.
You know what I mean? And I'm like
a really by nature, I'm like an unfortunately
confident person.
And for me to feel that lowness is
like a very strange feeling.
But I'll tell you something, dude. It was
one of the most necessary experiences in my
life,
like till today. I mean, think about this
y'all. It's 10 years later, and I'm telling
you that story.
It is so necessary sometimes to be humbled.
It is so necessary.
And no one can humble you except that
you look at that person in a position
that they can give that to you. Right?
Because if I just told that guy, man,
forget you. Then you know what the problem
is? He goes on and lives his life,
and he's fine.
He doesn't care about me. Like, he doesn't
need me. Right?
But if I have the humility to say,
you know what? I actually really needed that.
Like, I really needed that,
and I appreciate that this person cared enough
for me
to talk to me instead of allowing me
to continue looking like a little fool in
front of all these really qualified,
very smart, very educated people. And I'm sitting
there offering my turmeric,
you know, advice.
So sometimes
that cleansing
is a really, really tough process.
But you look back, you know, 3 years,
5 years, 10 years later, and you realize
that had that not happened, your trajectory would
have been totally different.
Right? You guys have a moment like that
in your life, where somebody sets you straight,
and you're like, thank goodness they did. At
that time, you hated it.
It was very difficult. But afterwards, you're like,
Alhamdulillah.
So Imam Al Ghazali talks about that.
And you have to have that kind of
willingness
to be corrected.
Okay, to be guided so that your character
can be made right. And then he continues
and he says that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
and the Messenger of Allah SWAW,
they,
Allah sent the Prophet
to guide people.
And when he passed away
he left people to guide people.
So what does that mean?
All of this stuff that we're doing right
now,
like, I'm not making it up.
And my teachers didn't make it up, and
their teachers didn't make it up. Like you
guys are sitting in a gathering where you
are actually receiving
the very same substance that the prophet gave
the companions.
Right? And it sucks for me to be
in that position, and it sucks for you
to have me be that person to you.
But it is pretty amazing
that Allah has designed this entire system, that
we are the recipients
of the water that came from Jibreel to
the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam all the
way trickled down to us.
So this is not like some, like, this
is not some light stuff here. This is
pretty serious. So when you engage in a
relationship with a teacher
and you'd say to that person, can you
help guide me? If I have questions, can
I ask you those questions? If I need
guidance, can you give me direction in those
moments of my life?
It's not just that you're asking a person
to give you, like, you know,
investment advice, you know, crypto, Dogecoin or not,
you know, you're asking a person to help
connect you to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam. That's a big deal.
Right? You talk about networking being important, that
is the networking.
That is the most critical network you can
be a part of. And so he says
that and after that he left representatives
and successors in his place so that they
could direct people towards Allah.
The condition now of the teacher. Okay, now
here we go. This is really serious stuff.
What's the condition of the teacher? What do
you guys look for in someone who can
give you advice?
Oh, good. Okay. What is wisdom? Someone else.
Define wisdom for us. Some of the sisters
that I moved over there to the wall,
to this wall because they were on that
wall. See, the sisters are smart. They came
and took the wall.
Now when the brothers are complaining about their
backs, sister are chilling.
Alright? Okay. What's wisdom?
Very good. You know, there's a beautiful Arabic
saying that says, don't ask the smart person,
ask the experienced one.
Don't ask the one
who
is wise alone based on theory. Ask the
one who has been through it,
right? Because knowledge and wisdom are 2 different
things,
Right? Knowledge very famously is what? Knowing that
fire is?
Alright, not enough people. You guys get burned
a lot, don't you? Okay. Knowledge is knowing
that fire is what?
Wisdom is knowing what?
Don't touch it.
Right? That's why you have a little baby.
You can tell them that the stove is
hot. Like Nooni, my daughter, Iman. We call
her Nooni. She's 2a half. She knows. My
wife literally, Wallahi, just texted me. Says, man,
Nuni did it again. She's very destructive, man.
She's very destructive.
Not, like, really destructive. Like, no insurance claims
are made, but, like, she's destructive enough. You
know?
She she, like, empties out tubes of toothpaste.
You know, like, that kind of destructive. You
leave her for one second, it's done. Like,
if she smells like peppermint, you're like, oh,
that's nice. Oh, no. And you realize
something is amiss, like, something is wrong. So
as soon as I left, wallahi, this happened
today right before I came, I saw my
wife was using some lotion, and she was
like lotioning her arms and her legs and
whatever.
And she left the lotion on the bed.
And I looked at that lotion, and I
said, that's that's that's in reach.
Like, that's what I was thinking. I was
like, that's in reach, but I had to
go. And my wife texted me, and she
goes, man, Nooney just dumped that whole bottle
of lotion out on the bed.
And she's like, man, this girl, you leave
her for, like, 90 seconds, and you regret
it. It leads to, like, an hour of
cleanup.
Right?
And, subhanAllah. So Iman knows that that lotion
is something that you only put on your
skin. She knows that that's what it's for.
But she doesn't have the wisdom to understand
that when you make that mistake, it leads
to a lot of cleanup.
And that's kinda like us too. Right? We're
all chuckling because she's 2. But how many
mistakes do we make we don't realize it
leads to a lot of cleanup?
And sometimes the cleanup has to be done
by somebody else. That's why sometimes, you know,
our parents, our siblings, our older older friends
in our life, they might tell us something
and it seems harsh, but they know that
if we do that, it's gonna lead to
a lot of cleanup.
Right? I can't