Safi Khan – Soul Food For College Students Dear Beloved Son #14
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of companionship and the concept of "good friendships" in relationships. They touch on the topic of "notes and words" and how it can benefit everyone, including finding one who is the best and finding one who is the best. They also discuss the benefits of working hard and protecting oneself, finding quality in relationships, and finding one who is the best. The segment ends with a reminder of the upcoming q and a session and a reminder of the q and a session.
AI: Summary ©
Active night here at roots and you can
see mashallah all the demographics of the community
Coming together.
Alhamdulillah, Haroob Al-Amin.
So we are, Alhamdulillah, going to be doing
two things tonight Inshallah, we'll be going through
our regular session that we have every Thursday
And then inshallah, inshallah, the plan is right
around 8.15 we'll break for our Q
&A session inshallah that we've been longing for
for a long time So inshallah, we'll be
opening up the Q&A portal for everybody
inshallah Actually, if you want to what you
can do is throughout the session the Slido
code is soul food roots.
Okay, so soul food S-o-u-l
-f-o-o-d and then roots with
an s at the end if you'd like
to inshallah anonymously submit your questions So inshallah,
we're gonna continue on and go ahead and
begin.
So today's conversation Alhamdulillah is heavily revolving around
the topic of sohbah Not the coffee but
sohbah the idea of what it means in
terms of companionship Sohbah is something that is
extremely important, right?
somebody It's very famously known that there's a
maxim that teaches us that if you show
if you some if you show somebody who
their Friends are you'll know who they are,
right?
Like if you tell me who your best
friends are I can probably guess What type
of person that you are or what type
of people that you are?
Okay being around this is something that teaches
you a lot about a person's comfort levels
their principles their morals their values all these
Different things are involved with companionship, right?
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam famously mentions the
hadith about you know Good friendship being like,
you know When a person's around a one
who sells perfume right a person who sells
perfume even though you may not have anything
to do with that particular trader activity the
Least that you will get away from that
relationship is you're going to smell just like
they do right and bad Companionship is like
when a person hangs around a person that's
that that works with you know metals and
fire and even if you have nothing to
do with what they do you'll walk away
with the suit and the fire and the
ashes on your body and this is what
the Examples of friendship are alike according to
the hadith and so it's really important to
understand this, right?
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam he also says
Ar-rajulu ala deen khaleelihi, right that a
person is upon the deen of their closest
friend And you know khaleel doesn't just mean
any friend.
It means closest friend, right?
Everybody in here probably has a friend that
they really really cherish They really love they
spend the majority of their time with right
and ala deen Deen does not just mean
religion.
It means the way that you choose to
live, right?
What you're okay with what you're not okay
with the way that you speak the way
that you carry yourself the way that you
walk And talk, I mean, these are all
forms of deen the the life that you
chose, right?
So this is why it's so important to
you know Pick people in your life that
are number one Very very good for you
and number two that you also have a
good effect on right?
So these are it's a mutual relationship.
Okay, so We're gonna inshallah go ahead and
go through with this chapter So Imam Al
-Ghazali, he says that if you understand this
tradition, right?
There is no need for too much knowledge
If you understand this chapter if you understand
this letter that I'm about to write to
you There's no need for too much knowledge.
Don't worry about too many things Why because
a good friend can teach you so many
beautiful things I mean how many of us
have ever been in a situation in our
lives where we may not have known too
much But because a good friend was with
us they influenced us in an incredibly beautiful
way you may not have been the best
of human beings but you hung around that
but that that friend of yours and a
lot of Good traits began to kind of
be discovered in your own life.
Okay, I always remember subhanAllah one of the
reasons why I became a Person who was
attached to the masjid when I was in
high school Was because I had a friend
of mine who used to always pick me
up on the way to isha Right.
He was in his early college years.
I was in high school They lived right
down the street from us and he used
to always say look, let me pick you
up real quick Inshallah, we're gonna go to
isha and it became like a part of
my daily tradition Even if I was so
tired after a day of you know, rigorous
chemistry labs, right?
I used to always have a good time
going to isha with him We used to
always grab sonic on the way back and
that's how that kind of tradition began And
subhanAllah, I was never interested in going to
isha before this, you know I always thought
to myself that you know The people that
go to isha every night like it's kind
of like a certain vibe certain stereotype, right?
The masjid uncle, the scary one that wears
the white Punjabi every day He yells at
people, kids specifically, on his way out, right?
This was like my stereotypical understanding of what
it meant to go to the masjid But
then this one friend of mine made going
to the masjid something that was universal for
me and it was very life-changing SubhanAllah,
right?
So a good friend, Imam Al Ghazali, he
says if you understand this tradition There's no,
there's not too much need for too much
knowledge.
You're not gonna need to be a scholar
Just hang around good people, right?
One thing I want you guys to all
internalize here, by the way, is that the
sahaba, the Companions of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam, they were not all scholars They were
not all scholars.
They were not all people that you would
say that Oh, they study deen for a
living But the reason why they were better
Muslims than any of us ever will be
is because they hung out with each other
So when you hang out with enough Abdullah
Ibn Mas'ud and Abdullah Ibn Abbas and
you know Abdullah Ibn Umar Eventually, you're going
to take on this beautiful spiritual state, right?
So friendship is a huge deal So he
says there is a story To mediate and
reflect over and so he tells the story
about these two friends One of them was
Hatim Al Assam.
Okay, and the other one was a man
by the name of Shaqiq Al Balkhi Okay,
so Hatim Al Assam was among the friends
of Shaqiq Al Balkhi Okay, Shaqiq Al Balkhi
Rahim Allah was an incredible scholar Shaqiq Al
Balkhi was a person that like people wanted
their kids to spend time with, right?
So I'm sure every single person in here
has that one person that their family is
okay with them hanging out with Like hey,
you're at that house.
Alhamdulillah.
I'm chilling, right?
My good buddy Samir MashaAllah got married like
two months ago May Allah preserve him and
give him a lot of barakah in his
life He was the one friend growing up
that I remember That my parents were always
okay with me hanging out with Always If
my parents were texting me at like 10
30 p.m. They're like, where are you?
Don't you know that the jinns are out,
right?
I'm like, oh i'm at Samir's house and
my parents like Okay, Alhamdulillah.
He prayed Isha tonight, right?
Like that was the type of friend that
he was So Shaqiq Al Balkhi was like
this one person Who people wanted their their
family members to spend time with, okay?
And so he had this younger friend by
the name of Hatim Al Asam, okay?
And so one day Shaqiq Al Balkhi, he
asked his friend Hatim, he goes you have
been friends with me for 30 years For
30 years you were my close friend, okay?
What have you gained in the course of
those years?
Like what effect did our friendship have on
you?
By the way, it's really important to evaluate
your friendships I know it's something that makes
all of us uncomfortable, right?
Like if we think about like where our
friendships truly lie and what you know What
our friendships mean for each and every single
one of us and how we've benefited one
another It's sometimes like if I if I
like a crowdsourcing, you know Survey right now
of everybody and their closest friends and I
asked you why are you friends with your
closest friends?
The majority of people be like, yeah, they're
funny, you know They send me funny instagram
reels every day, right?
I don't check the majority of them and
they get mad at me You know, we
have all these kind of like experiences of
having close friends But you know subhanAllah to
think about why am I really close friends
with this person?
Friendship, by the way is a very very
conditional relationship.
I want you guys to know that It's
not like a it's not like a parent
or like a sibling a sibling or a
parent You had no choice who they were
in your life You did not wake up
one random day and decide to get sick
of your brother and say i'm done with
this guy He's out of here.
I don't want to spend any more time
with him.
He lives in your home, right?
You guys share the same blood but when
it comes to friendship when it comes to
friendship You have to ask yourself.
Why did I choose this person?
I didn't have to nobody told me that
I had to be friends with them So
why did I voluntarily choose this person and
since it's with it's a choice you have
to evaluate that decision Why did I choose
this?
It's like going to a school.
It's like choosing a degree It's like choosing
a pathway in your career.
Why did I choose to go pre-med?
I know every single one of you guys
is contemplating that every day of your life,
right?
By the way, I don't hate on medicine.
By the way, people think that I hate
doctors.
I benefit from doctors Okay, I just want
everyone to really truly sincerely enjoy what they
do when they wake up every single morning
Just don't do it because somebody told you
that it's like mashallah three hundred thousand dollars
a year, right?
Then you forget about the debt.
Uh Why did you choose your friends?
So so shaqiq al-balkhi rahimahullah He asked
his good friend What have you gained from
the 30 years that you were friends with
me?
Was it just kind of like random good
funny moments shooting the breeze or is there
something deeper to our friendship?
right Um, and i'll tell you guys subhanallah
The the truest friendships that you've you've probably
heard of in our tradition Always are rooted
in something deeper than just the dunya Always
rooted in something deeper than just the dunya.
Okay?
and Hatim rahimahullah he replies to shaqiq al
-balkhi.
He says I've gained eight benefits from the
knowledge which is sufficient for me and he
says two things I hope that the friendship
that you and I have had Is reason
enough for my salvation and my safety two
things.
What's salvation y'all salvation is?
Anybody how would you define salvation?
What does salvation mean?
Forgiveness.
Okay salvation anybody else forgiveness is one what
else?
Like security in the akhira salvation is not
anything in the dunya, right?
If a person is given salvation, they're usually
being spoken about in the akhira turn right
salvation You've gained you've gained salvation in the
hereafter And so he says I hope that
my friendship with you has gained me salvation
And also has gained me najat.
Najat is safety security, right?
I feel safe around this person subhanallah Think
about what type of friendship you would have
if you never felt safe around the person
that you're friends with you always felt that
you were in danger whether it's like mental
emotional spiritual A good friend is a person
that makes other people feel comfortable with them
the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam He mentioned
this in a hadith That a muslim is
a person who makes other people feel safe
when it comes to their Their tongue their
words their speech And their hands their actions,
right?
So your friends should be people who you
feel safe around you don't feel Anxiety when
they walk into a room and you think
about the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Did
the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam ever make
anyone around him feel uncomfortable when he walked
into a room?
And you think he was the most religious
Of all people that anyone has ever known.
So nowadays when we think of religion, we're
like, oh, yeah, that person makes people feel
uncomfortable That person makes people feel anxiety.
That person makes people feel unsure about what
they should do their next step, right?
But the prophet alayhi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
never made a person feel like that He
made people feel comfortable.
Why does it mean that he didn't teach
people?
No, he corrected people, of course, but the
way that he did it was that he
never made somebody feel unsafe Are there ways
of correcting people where you can make them
feel?
Anxious.
Yes, there are are there ways of correcting
people while you make them feel safe and
sound?
Yes, there are So you can choose which
way you choose to correct people subhanallah, right?
So He says i've gained eight benefits from
the knowledge which is sufficient for me, by
the way Can I share something really incredible?
There's a statement of the prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam where he said that A good
friend somebody asked the prophet.
What is the description of a good friend?
The prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said three
things so powerful He said a good friend
is one whose appearance reminds you of allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala Their appearance reminds you
of allah Doesn't make you forget allah, but
they remind you of allah.
What does that mean their appearance meaning the
way they carry themselves?
The way they present themselves to you It's
a reminder of allah in your life.
It's not a reminder to forget allah Ask
yourself when I spend time with my good
friends Do I forget my zuhr?
Do I forget my maghrib?
Do I forget my isha?
Do I end up gossiping and backbiting?
Do I end up forgetting about allah?
Or is my friend such that every time
we speak I remember something that allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala would be pleased with That
is the example of a person whose appearance
reminds you of allah The second description of
a good friend the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam.
He said is one whose actions reminds you
of the hereafter They remind you of the
hereafter This friend of mine is not only
in it for the dunya We don't only
have memories of each other because of this
world I remember praying with them I remember
going to umrah with them I remember experiencing
ramadan with them.
How many of y'all have like ramadan
besties?
Think about it, right?
You got those like late night memories catching
tarawih catching the qiyam al-layl Catching the
late night lectures, you know i'm saying You
know, uh, you guys went out on the
25th 27th nights 29th nights 23rd night 21st
night I mean you you remember these things
That is a type of person whose actions
remind you of the akhira It's not only
about the jokes and the good laughs and
all that stuff like that stuff happens That
stuff's there any friendship should have that but
is that where my friendship ends?
Or does my friendship involve something deeper than
this dunya?
And then the last thing the prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam.
He said is that their speech Increases you
in knowledge Their speech increases you in knowledge.
What does that mean?
It means that your conversations although you'll have
light-hearted ones You'll have conversations that are
you know, sometimes, you know a little bit
Jokey and a little bit kind of comedic
and a little bit light-hearted But i've
had deep conversations with these people I've talked
to them about things in my life that
are serious and my aspirations for the dunya
and the akhira I mean these are the
type of friends that have so much meaning
in your life They these conversations they stick
in your memory.
You don't forget them ever You poured your
heart out your soul out to this friend
one night about something that was deeply troubling
you So the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
he says that their speech increases you in
knowledge Oh, I didn't know that my friend
taught me that imagine if you were a
friend subhanallah, you know, I had this one
friend in high school he and I Used
to and this sounds so funny We used
to memorize quran together and the way that
we would test each other is on the
car ride home from school It was so
nerdy but it was such a Beautiful experience
when I look back at it now And
sometimes I would hate it because he was
way better at it than me He like
masha'allah like his hizb was like incredible.
And so he's like, all right today.
We memorized what tariq go and i'm like
Alhamdulillah Saying something that I remember but subhanallah
I'm telling you right now that one year.
He was a senior and I was a
sophomore So the next year he was not
in school anymore.
He was in college and I was a
junior So we had one year together, uh
in high school freshman year Wasn't really a
time where we were friends sophomore year of
my my high school time That was when
we were really good friends.
I remember that year of my high school
was so memorable for me He pushed me
to memorize allah's words and i'll never forget
that I'll never ever forget that so their
speech increases you in knowledge and so He
asked how them to mention these eight benefits
that their friendship had on him And so
hatim al-assam said these eight things.
The first thing he mentioned was that The
first benefit is that I observed the creation
and saw that everyone had a loved one
And one passionately desired one whom he loved
and longed for Some of the beloved accompany
the lover up to the brink of sickness
and death And others to the gate of
the graveyard all of them return and leave
him there alone No one goes into the
grave with him I looked into the matter
and I said to myself the best beloved
Is that which would enter the grave with
the lover to console them?
I found it to be nothing else then
good deeds Good deeds So I took this
as my closest friend To illuminate my qadr
for me and to comfort me in it
and never leave me alone subhanallah He said
that you taught me To choose my best
friend.
You were my best friend, but you actually
taught me how to choose my best friend
Subhanallah, what a powerful reflection What what what
a What greater compliment is there for a
friend?
To tell another friend that you what you
taught me is what a best friend actually
means Isn't that the best compliment you can
give your friend?
Like imagine like any other relationship in your
life If you go up to your dad
and your dad's like what's the idea of
like what's fatherhood to you, right?
And you're like you taught me what fatherhood
was Right you go up to your sister
and you're like you taught me what sisterhood
was I didn't know what this was before
I met you That's the greatest compliment you
can give to somebody So hatim al-aslam,
he tells shaqiq al-balkhi.
He says you taught me what good friends
actually are And you taught me wisely to
believe that the best of companions when it
comes to allah and the akhira Is your
good deeds?
So you keep your good deed because everyone
ends up leaving each other at some point
or the other Isn't that the truth?
Friendship, sometimes will last and sometimes they won't
last Sometimes people will move how many of
y'all raise of hands have ever moved
away from a close friend of yours?
You left that town you left that city
you left that neighborhood and subhanallah now a
relationship That was so beautiful that was in
person now goes through the trials of being
long distance I mean these are not easy
things for a person to accept but True
friends will teach you that there's times for
people like in the dunya and there's times
for allah subhanahu wa ta'ala And he
says that is what you taught me And
you taught me that one of my greatest
Beloveds in my life are my good deeds
that I take with me even to the
grave.
Okay, so he says the second benefit Is
that I saw that people were following their
lusts and hastening towards their desires of their
souls And I meditated and I thought about
the ayah in the quran where allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala he said But as for
whoever is feared the majesty of allah has
refrained from his soul from lust Truly the
garden will be his dwelling place That's where
the true Beloved of allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala will actually reap the rewards And he
says convinced that the quran was true and
right I began to deny my soul From
its desires and I hurried to combat it
and refused its passionate desires until it enjoyed
real Satisfaction and that real satisfaction came from
the obedience of allah.
I'll give you guys the the the synopsis
of this entire advice the second one when
a person trains their soul enough They no
longer feel the desire for things that are
bad for them.
They feel a desire for things that allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala loves They've now replaced
music with quran Think about that they've replaced
Backbiting and gossiping for dhikr of allah They
no longer you know, like subhanallah Sometimes we
get into like these conversations with our friends.
We're like we're looking forward to the backbiting
session We're like, oh, I wonder what tea
this person's bringing to the table today, right?
Like I can't wait to hear what I
missed But when a person grows close to
allah they realize that they no longer have
that desire anymore The next time they hear
somebody backbiting somebody else they get extremely uncomfortable.
Isn't that one of the greatest signs that
you're close to allah?
That you no longer enjoy Backbiting you no
longer are okay with people who lie in
front of you Isn't that such an honor?
That you're so biologically wired now that you
no longer feel comfortable with things that allah
would be unhappy with So he says that
the second thing that you taught me was
that I no longer Want the the desires
that harm me anymore I no longer want
to like eat unhealthy.
I no longer want to sleep through my
fajr I no longer want to you know,
listen to things that are bad You taught
me that the things that allah wants for
me is actually what I really want now.
That's what makes me happy subhanallah, then he
says the third benefit Is that I saw
that every human being is striving to accumulate
as much as he can from the wreckage
of this world And then holding on strongly
to it Then I meditated on the quranic
ayah What is with you will be gone
and what is with allah It will always
It will always endure it will always be
there it will always continue So I gave
freely my worldly possessions for allah's sake by
distributing them Among the poor so that it
would be my provision in the future with
him allah azza wa jal What's the third
thing he said you taught me how to
give away things that I liked Isn't it
incredible subhanallah a compliment that a friend can
give another that what you taught me was
to be unselfish I'm no longer selfish with
my life anymore.
I give things away I know at the
end of the day that everything allah has
given me was something that allah owned And
so for me to give it away is
no longer difficult for me because that's what
you taught me to do right so Unselfishness
is a beautiful trait in friendships.
Ask yourself when i'm with my friends when
i'm with my companions Do I feel more
selfish?
Or do I feel selfless?
I'm able to give away That night when
we went out to grab food Did I
want to grab the check?
Did I feel like no no i'm gonna
like kind of like do that whole like
fake out i'm like I should do it
But then the moment you offer i'm gonna
put my hand away Do I feel more
inclined to give away for myself?
Or do I feel more selfish when i'm
around you?
right And this has to do with a
lot of different things how many people sometimes
subhanallah feel selfish of your time when you're
around your friends A good friend subhanallah knows
when it's time like subhanallah.
I've heard stories.
It's actually so like eye-opening to me
Friends who get bothered when their other friends
are like not responding to them when they're
doing things like ibadah and worship Yeah, it's
happened before A true friend knows that You
have your time with allah.
I'll be here I don't need you to
text me back right away Never get bothered
when your friends don't text you back right
away Right you pour your heart out into
that text message, right?
You're like It's a whole paragraph long emily
cited work cited page here my resources And
then that friend responds back to you like
in three hours you're like do you even
love me Do you even like me like
what is this friendship, right?
What if they were praying?
What if they were at the masjid?
What if they were taking care of their
parents?
What if they were taking care of their
responsibilities?
What if they were taking care of something
that their father needed, right?
Giving a person good assumption is a part
of friendship, right?
So then he says the fourth benefit Is
that some people who I observed?
Think that their dignity and their honor lie
in the multitude of their family and their
large clans They were fascinated by these things
others claimed their honor and their dignity Were
in the abundance of wealth and children and
they were so proud of it Some believed
honor and power abide in appropriating the wealth
of other people doing injustice to them and
shedding their blood Others considered dignity consists of
extravagance and spending wealth in a foolish manner
Subhanallah He goes you taught me To place
my value and the right things my friends
told me that Don't chase money all the
time money will come and money will go
Don't chase clout and popularity How many of
us have ever subhanallah raise your hands?
How many of us have ever had friends
who taught us that like don't chase clout?
Don't chase money don't chase fame.
It's not worth it at the end of
the day Keep those friends around you Keep
those friends around you But that one friend
who tells you like hey that sick picture
you took from your vacation It doesn't matter
that three people liked it.
You're not a loser.
Okay?
It's okay.
You just have three followers.
That's fine You'll grow inshallah, but that's not
what life is about That's not what life
is about life is not about the money
and the fame and this and the societal
Hierarchy, that's not what it's about Life is
about finding quality.
And so he says I meditated on the
ayah of allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala The most
honored of you in the sight of allah
are those who are the most god conscious
Inna akramakum What is true honor what success
y'all are in college, you know this
now you're having the conversation about like What
is success in life?
Is it that job that I get right
out of my degree that I earn like
yay amount of dollars?
Is it is it is it the job
that you know gets me 100k?
Is it the is it the house?
Is it the apartment that you know is
in that neighborhood?
Is it that car that I drive that
makes me feel good when I roll up
to a gathering?
Is that the sign of success?
Or is success to me?
Being happy with what allah has given me
I've known people subhanallah, by the way guys
that have owned like maseratis that drive their
toyotas to everywhere they go Because they don't
care They don't care They really don't care
about that flashy new thing that they got
And the best thing is that their friends
keep reinforcing that Your value to me is
not how much money you have You know
what?
I call this The friends who hang around
with other people because of like their value
in terms of the dunya friendships based upon
convenience Friendships based upon convenience Like i'm going
to repost this why because that person has
like 4 000 followers.
Yeah If I post on my story, maybe
their followers will follow me right like they
get excited about these random things Man subhanallah
How How sad is it?
to live in a friendship Where there are
so many conditions of the dunya i'm friends
with you why because Yeah, you live a
certain lifestyle and like, you know, it makes
me feel fulfilled.
No, no, no Friendships should be cultivated when
there are deeper meanings within those relationships.
Okay And he says allah told us that
it doesn't matter how much money you have
The prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam taught us something
incredible.
He says What's the next one
how much wealth you have Allah does not
look at your your appearance or your wealth
Allah rather cares about what's within your heart
and what your actions are I don't care
what you look like I don't care about
like the instagram photo ops.
I don't care about the money.
I don't care about any of that I
care that you and me are able to
feel fulfilled because of the conversations we have
The the selfishness that we show one another
that's what it really means.
Okay so he says I chose righteousness for
myself Convinced that the quran is right and
true and those claims and opinions of the
people are false and temporal and temporal They're
not going to be around forever He says
the fifth benefit is that I found the
people Slandering each other and speaking ill of
one another out of the envy of fortune
and power and knowledge He said what I
learned from you is What bad friendship looks
like bad friendship is when people slander each
other You and me we don't slander one
another.
Can I tell you guys can I give
you guys a rule of thumb by the
way?
friends who backbite one other people in front
of each other You are up for grabs
as soon as you leave that circle If
you ever have a memory in your own
life of a group of people and you
participated in the backbiting You are 100 Up
for grabs as soon as you leave that
setting i'm not trying to make you guys
like anxious and like filled with like anxiety
And stress now, but i'm telling you right
now There is not one person who's backbitten
another person to another to a human being
that they were also not backbitten once they
left that scene True friendship is one where
you guys don't talk like that about each
other behind each other's backs In fact, what
is the hadith the prophets of some teach
us?
That people who make dua for their friends
In each other's absences the malaika the angels
will be the ones that will say ameen
for you The angels will say ameen and
for you as well because you're so selfless
with your duas Can you imagine on the
day of judgment?
If you find out in front of allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala That a near and
dear friend of yours was what the one
responsible for biting you in the back I
trusted you so much I had so much
faith in this relationship and now I learned
that you actually spread lies and deceit about
me What has this friendship meant to you
I thought this was real.
I didn't think this was like a fake
situation.
I didn't think this was a fake relationship
Protect yourself Protect yourself from talking bad about
people behind their backs A person who does
not talk about people behind their backs.
Allah will protect them from being talked about
I'm telling you right now what goes around
comes around if we Familiarize ourselves with backbiting
other people i'm telling you guys right now.
You are a victim of it as well
so Be very wary of this.
Okay And then he says the sixth benefit
is that I saw people Becoming enemies of
each other for different reasons.
I meditated upon the statement of allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala Verily shaitan is an enemy
to you.
So treat shaitan as an enemy Subhanallah People
hate on each other If you don't believe
me go look at the internet Muslims are
at each other's throats About random things Ah
brother Kind of what kind of gathering is
this man?
Are you a real muslim?
Sisters at each other's throats lady basically puts
up like a three minute rant about hijab
being worn properly and Everybody hates on her
and she says it in a mean way
Both parties have their own kind of stock
in the conversation.
Y'all know what i'm talking about, dude
Y'all commented on that video.
I know you did you're like, ah, you
have no right like No, but i'm serious.
Like do you but do you see?
Do you see what shaitan does shaitan influences
people to be at each other's throats for
the most petty reasons?
Why do you have to put a sister
down who's trying their hardest?
Right and the comment sections are just as
bad right like everyone's at each other's throats
And so hatim Al-aslam, he says I
reminded myself that we all have one unified
enemy.
That's shaitan He's the one that's doing this
to all of us I don't actually hate
you You and me both believe in la
ilaha illallah How can I hate somebody who
who claims to love allah and his messenger?
That's not hate Just because sometimes like I
might believe in small things that are that
are a different tradition than you possibly right?
It's so ridiculous subhanallah, it's it's so it's
so nonsensical one of my favorite Uh posts
on the internet.
It's one of my favorite tweets of all
time one of a scholar that I really
respect He said that you know Hanafis, maliki,
shafiis, hanbalis, brailvis, salafis They'll all be shocked
to find each other in heaven one day
But you're here I don't know you were
here.
I thought I was only going to be
here No, no, you guys are all on
one team man You guys all love allah
Oh, you celebrate maulid.
Oh my god You're not muslim like what?
Astaghfirullah man This person loves the prophet Why
are you hating on people bro subhanallah man
like the haterade is strong in the ummah
man We got to protect ourselves the next
time you feel like you need to comment
on a muslim's post.
Please refrain for the love of god Go
hit on like an atheist inshallah one day,
right like i'm giving you full clearance Go
comment on somebody that like hates allah go
comment on their post be my guest Do
your worst Don't hit on like a muslim's
post We have enough hate y'all.
We don't need each other to hate on
each other.
Okay He says the seventh benefit inshallah We're
going to end with the next two the
seventh benefit is that I saw everyone working
very hard Exhausting themselves to obtain food and
sustenance tempted by doubts and forbidden things they
degraded themselves in humiliation I pondered over the
statement of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that
there is no Moving creature on earth but
that their sustenance depends upon allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala I knew that my livelihood is
guaranteed by allah.
So I engaged myself in worship and cut
off my Coveciousness of all else other than
allah So what this means basically is that
don't you taught me to not be anxious
about like my risk You know has anybody
in here ever doubted like why something happened
to them in their life?
And you had that one friend.
They're like hey It was meant to be
right Doesn't make you feel too much better
But they tried right they tried like yeah,
you know what you're 27 and still single.
It's okay It wasn't meant for you right
now.
You're like still crying But they tried And
by the way, the advice they're giving you
is still beautiful.
Masha allah It's not written for you right
now If you failed an exam in your
class It was not meant for you to
pass it Ever it doesn't matter how hard
you studied You would have failed something He's
saying here that good friends are people who
remind each other that if it wasn't written
for you it was never going to happen
Good friends will never tell you if only
right Because that never makes somebody feel better
That never creates any benefit The true friends
are the ones that tell each other hamdulillah.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has something in
store for you Even if it is not
what you wanted how many things in our
lives y'all are things that we thought
we wanted But ended up being harmful for
us Right good friends are always there to
remind us of that reality.
Okay, and then he says finally The eighth
benefit is that I saw that everyone relied
on some created thing Some on the dinar
and the dirham Some on wealth and property
some on trade and craft and some on
creatures like themselves I meditated upon the statement
of allah and whoever places his reliance on
allah Allah is sufficient for him Okay Whoever
places Allah is sufficient for them Allah
will accomplish every purpose that he has I
therefore place full trust in allah.
He is sufficient for me and he is
the best disposer of affairs A good friend
is a person who reminds you to rely
on allah at the end of the day
You know before like that big, you know
application that interview Your friend is going through
some major anxiety, right?
They call you up.
How many of you guys call your friends
before some big moment, right?
You're like, hey, man, I need you to
really talk me down man.
I'm going crazy right now and your friend's
like Oh my god, that's really scary.
You're like the worst phone call of all
time No, no, your friend is supposed to
tell you Trust allah allah will take care
of you trust allah These are the friends
that you want Not the friends that like
stir up anxiety right you're like, oh my
god, you're only worried about that What about
that other thing you should be worried about?
Like what are you even like do you
even like me?
Why why are you making my heart rate
jump and not calm down?
Be a person who soothes the souls of
the people around you via the remembrance of
allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Right.
Those are the people that are incredibly precious
in your life.
All right, and he says At this point
now imagine like the story right by the
way, this is you know hatim al-assam
Telling shaqiq al-balkhy every good benefit that
he has done for him in his life
by being his friend Could you imagine guarantee
none of y'all have this really this
conversation with your friends yet?
They listed out he listed eight things.
Can you imagine he wrote an entire chapter
about what that friendship did for him?
And shaqiq al-balkhy he said may allah
bless you And grant you success Just may
allah bless you and grant you success He
says I looked into the old testament the
new testament The zawoor and the quran and
have found that four books revolved around these
eight benefits Whoever works according to them is
working according to these four books Okay, so
he's teaching his friend that you know Rely
upon allah allah will take care of you
stay away from talking bad about people and
allah will take care of you Don't get
caught up in the glitz and the glamour
of this dunya and allah will take care
of you, right?
Don't be obsessed with other people's rizq and
allah will take care of you Be be
be happy and be confident in your good
deeds and take it to the grave with
you and allah will take care of you
right These are all examples of what this
friendship was about And so inshallah we want
to make dua that allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala also gives us This type of relationship
within our lives everyone say ameen.
Okay, so Inshallah now what we're going to
do is we're going to open up the
q a portal Uh, so anybody inshallah who
has questions they can go ahead and uh,
submit those questions Okay, uh, you can scan
this qr code as well By the way,
inshallah if you would like and we'll go
ahead and start answering these questions We have
about 10 15 minutes inshallah So we're going
to spend the next 10 15 minutes inshallah
going through some of these Uh q a
questions inshallah.
So everyone just take a minute You can
uh submit your questions qr code and i'll
check it inshallah from my end Okay
All right.
Inshallah.
We're going to go ahead and start answering
some of these questions inshallah Okay Oh,
here we go All right, so y'all
can inshallah keep submitting your questions, uh as
I answer so somebody said If something really
good has been taken away from me Should
I continue waiting for it to come back
and continue praying or should I just move
on very good question?
um If something that you liked has been
taken away from you and again Good Is
a very interesting word and i'll tell you
why Because good is something that is always
subjective to the human experience, right?
I'll give you guys an example a good
friend, right a good friend now Alhamdulillah inshallah
your your judgment is sound and it's good
and that friend was good for you but
perhaps There was always something written for you
in which this friend may be needed for
somebody else who needed them more And so
because of that allah caused a situation where
they had to move away Or cause a
situation where you had to move away.
All right, and in this particular situation The
hadith of the prophet saw some teaches us
that allah will never allow a friend To
be removed from somebody except that which allah
will replace them with a better friend for
them, right?
So when it comes to this particular question
this person asked Should I continue waiting for
it to come back or continue praying or
should I just move on?
Well, the reality is Make dua to allah
the mode of communication should never stop The
mode of communication should never stop Sometimes i'll
tell you guys something people make dua their
entire life for something And then allah may
give it to them at the end of
their life Or allah will give it to
them in the akhira Certain people subhanallah think
about this certain people who grow up in
like difficult households In households that may not
be happy and calm and settled They're going
through difficulties in their entire life and they
make dua to allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
Ya allah, relieve me from this difficulty allow
me to live in a happy home a
home that provides happiness and goodness and That
person may continue to live in those turmoil
type situations for several years or decades, right?
Does that mean that this person should abandon
their dua and say well, you know what
it wasn't for me?
No, no, you can accept that.
It may not be for you right now,
but it should not cause you to abandon
your dua Because sometimes subhanallah Your dua is
actually the answer to what you're looking for
Allah wants you to continue making that dua
And continue to make that dua until you
are at peace with what allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala has given you Okay So Just
because something was taken away from you And
you still don't have it five years later
ten years later and you're starting to lose
hope that it was never written for you
Maybe it wasn't written for you, but you
will never know The goal is for you
to constantly engage in that dua no matter
the outcome That is the goal at the
end of the day.
Okay, very very good question All right somebody
said Can I incorporate these principles into a
friendship with a non-muslim how can I
be positive?
Islamically, how can I be a positive influence
on my friends?
In their life of their non-muslim.
I'll give you guys a sincere advice here.
Okay Islamically, there is nothing wrong with being
friends with non-muslims.
There's not But I will share with you
that if a person Is friends with non
-muslims?
And has no friends of the same faith
It is challenging in life right Ar-rajulun
ala deeni khaleerihi a person Is upon the
deen of their closest friend Your friends really
heavily influence you in your life Whether you
know it or not, right?
Like if for example, you're at your friend's
house who's a non-muslim and it's time
for asr And they don't pray because it's
not in their sharia.
Why should they right?
You will pray the first day You'll pray
the next day You'll pray even maybe a
week from now But eventually the idea of
a person at the time of asr not
getting up and praying is going to actually
impact you in your life And so your
asr may become delayed and delayed and delayed
and delayed To the point where you praying
asr is no longer normalized in your life
if you spend enough time with this person
No, so not saying that having non-muslim
friends is bad But if you have non
-muslim friends at the expense of your islam
That becomes very dangerous for a person's heart
And it should be something that people are
wary of right?
And there are certain things by the way
that are just not relevant to a person's
non-muslim friend, right?
like for example the the the the the
point that he made about That you know
your friendship should not only be in this
dunya, but it should be in the akhira,
right?
How does one implement that in their life
with their non-muslim friend?
You're like hey, I love you in this
dunya in jannah We'll get there when we
get there like This person doesn't pray with
you.
They don't fast with you.
They don't do dua with you They don't
do adhkar with you, right?
They don't read quran with you.
It's hard.
It's difficult Know that every relationship has a
purpose and those relationships also have limitations Be
a friend with people who you share faith
with that faith will always be thicker than
blood guaranteeing it.
Okay All right What do you say?
Okay, so somebody same person asked about non
-muslim friends how to deal with family members
who stress you out How relevant is this
question to everybody around you, okay I'm gonna
answer this for the entire jam out right
here because there's eight billion people who also
thought the exact same question across the globe
How to deal with family members that stress
you out.
Can I share one thing with you guys?
Your family members stress you out Because of
the nature of that relationship from allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala you had no choice in
it You had no choice in it It
is very easy to dump a friend that
stresses you out Like hey, you know what
like I don't like you anymore I'm, just
gonna stop inviting you to coffee You stress
me out.
I can I can leave that relationship easily,
right?
but a mother Or a sister or a
father or a brother that stress you out
It's not the easiest of things because you
can't just leave that person Why did the
prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam say Keep the ties
of kinship because it's not easy It's not
easy The greatest rewards in life are met
with the difficulty of that situation If you
climb a mountain easily You're not going to
get the same satisfaction when you reach the
top as you would if you really struggled
climbing up a mountain That job that you
wanted so badly that you like work day
and night for that you put in multiple
applications for and multiple interviews for How much
sweeter is it going to taste when you
get that job?
Versus the job that you got the minute
you applied And they they're like, hey, you're
ready to work when you can you start
and now you're like, why do you want
me so bad?
It's weird It doesn't feel the same so
Relationships that are based off of convenience will
never give you the same gratification as relationships
that you work really hard for that You
sacrifice a lot for it So, how do
you deal with family members that stress you
out?
understand that principle and number two Understand healthy
ways to exercise your stress People i'll tell
you something right now guys It's not about
the stress.
It's about how you relieve your stress Everybody
has stress y'all everybody has stress The
challenge is when you don't have a healthy
way to like Show or like work through
that stress, right?
that's what actually like Look guys I Have
not gone to a restaurant these past two
and a half years of my life without
having a toddler with me I'm, like look
at my wife.
I'm like, hey, you having a good time.
She's like.
Nope.
You having a good time?
I'm, like nope But we humbly cherish it.
Why because aya is only going to be
two for so long There's gonna be a
year where she's like 12 and she's like
on her phone and i'm like, hey aya
What's up?
She's like what?
I'm, like what'd you do today?
She's like nothing like i'm gonna go back
to the time when she was two I'm,
like start crying I remember when she wouldn't
stop talking to me you see Those moments
never last forever, right?
The times that you feel like are stressful.
I know that they're stressful But there will
be a time where allah takes that away
from you And there will be moments where
even in the weirdest way that it sounds
you'll miss some of those moments, right?
You're never gonna subhanallah.
I remember the year that I moved out
of my parents house when I got married
and I moved out Every moment that was
like difficult for me.
I kept on telling myself.
This is the last year I will be
a son living in my parents house I
was 21 that year It really blew my
mind like every moment of like short kind
of Temper or irritability, whatever it was.
I kept telling myself.
I said i'm never gonna have this opportunity
with my parents again I'll go to visit
them.
I'll go to spend time with them I'll
go visit them in their house and they're
gonna come visit me in my house But
it's never gonna be like this ever again,
right?
So always remember those moments right in moments
of trials and irritability always remember that those
things are never gonna last forever Right enjoy
those moments a little bit Um, i'm gonna
answer one more inshallah We have a lot
more to go through but just for the
sake of time isha is at 8 30
So i'm gonna inshallah let you guys go
after this last question Somebody said Uh, I
experienced a lot of anxiety in being blindsided
in my relationships I try my best to
rely on allah and trust him but can't
help but becoming anxious.
Um two things number one Try your hardest
not to take previous experiences And allow them
to cause you anxiety and other experiences in
the future I know it's easier said than
done But there's a person that allah may
have put in your life for a beautiful
beautiful reason And that person actually subhanallah is
so good for you, right?
Don't allow your own worst kind of demons
To take over your brain and assume something
about this person that is actually not real
at all Okay Try your hardest to not
do that and the best way to kind
of reenact this in your own life is
to also have This idea that you'd want
people to assume the best of you All
right.
The next time that person gives you like,
you know, they bought you coffee You're like,
oh my god, the last person who bought
me coffee.
They wanted their money back later, right?
Like No, no, that was that last person.
There's a reason why that person's no longer
here anymore Don't take that and translate that
over to the next person Give everybody their
own due diligence Everybody is pure within certain
people are are are Just you know, they
may have gone through some really difficult patches
in their life that made them who they
are But don't view everybody as evil people.
They're not wallahi.
They're not i'm telling you guys Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala has created people with fitrah
With goodness within try to find that goodness
within people, even if you don't see it
right away, right?
Inshallah, we'll end with that.
We'll continue on with the q and a
inshallah next thursday And we'll get to some
more of these questions inshallah next week.
All right Thank you guys so much inshallah,
we'll see you guys next thursday at 7
p.m I know that I said 7
p.m this time.
I apologize for that.
But for real after daylight savings inshallah It'll
actually be 7 p.m. Insha'Allah next
thursday.
All right guys Insha'Allah is going to
be in two minutes over on the masjid
site.