Safi Khan – Soul Food Dear Beloved Son Chapter 3
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AI: Transcript ©
There you go. So how does one of
your extreme from 8 different
devices?
Really happy that you guys are here with
us today. Welcome to another episode of Soul
Food, another session of Soul Food. Everybody should
have their handouts, like the cards with the
the appropriate chapter,
number and title and the text on it.
So just kind of like a couple of
things, a couple of reminders that we wanna
kind of set out before we begin our
session today.
Number 1, just kind of like a housekeeping
announcement. Obviously, we're still in the middle of
a pandemic. So, we just wanna make sure
that everybody, just for the sake of making
sure that you're doing your part to stay,
cognizant of health and making sure that you're
keeping yourself and other people safe, make sure
that your mask is completely above your your
mouth and your nose.
Just, you know, just kinda be a little
aware of that, InshaAllah, and I'd be always
say this to the young professionals on Monday
nights and also the teens on Sundays. It's
kinda just like a housekeeping that we always
make before we start our programs.
Number 2,
is that inshallah, we are going to be
using the Mentimeter platform again for q and
a.
So I think those of you who are
here almost on a weekly basis, you're pretty
familiar with this. So, it's menti.com.
If you type in that, address onto your
browser,
if you go to menti.com,
it should pull you up to, like, a
very, very simple
page
where you can just type in, an access
code, and that access code for tonight
is 1649
353.
So I'm actually gonna type it out for
part of the college telegram group chat.
I'm gonna type that out to that chat
as well just in case you don't catch
it right now. But just to reiterate, 1649-353.
So if you type in that access code,
you should be,
accessing the Soul Food q and a,
platform for tonight, inshallah. And you can kinda
formulate your questions. We're gonna do a lot
of interaction today just as we did last
week,
and we're going to be doing the q
and a, in the last 10 to 15
minutes of our session today. And so, Insha'Allah,
we're gonna kinda pick up today with the
3rd chapter of Imam Ghazali's Ayushalwala,
your beloved son. And the chapter title should
be knowledge. But there's a couple of concepts
that we're gonna be discussing tonight, insha'Allah. 1st
and foremost, starting with the idea of advice
and then moving on to, the idea of
knowledge. So inshallah,
we're gonna go ahead and get started. Anybody
have any questions before we begin? Anything?
Nothing. We're good. Everyone excited?
Good. Everyone's excited for Friday tomorrow?
End of the week. Some we all like,
no. It's like a word now. No.
But, inshallah, we're gonna be, having a good
time tonight, and then we'll do the q
and a at the end of the session.
Okay?
Alright, everybody.
I think the reason why Fridays are not
as exciting to be used to use because
every day kinda feels like a long day
every, every week.
Okay. So tonight, Emmanuel Zali is gonna give
his 3rd piece of advice.
And this piece of advice one one thing
that Emmanuel Zali is known for
is just how real he is. Like, he
doesn't hold back.
If you read any of his writings,
one of the things that you'll come across
is, like, man, this guy is very,
like, intense
when he's trying to make a point and
he doesn't want anyone to confuse what he's
trying to
to say. He is very direct. Right? Not
rude. He's of course, he always has that
and he always has compassion,
but he doesn't want anyone to get the
wrong idea about what he's trying
to say. And one thing that's very interesting
about Imago Azadi is that he's not harsh
on
the people that everybody else picks on.
You know, everybody else picks the on the
people who maybe aren't as,
practicing in the religion as they want to
be and maybe they have some bad habits
and and and they commit sins. A lot
of people pick on those people. Imam al
Azadi actually picks on the other side of
the spectrum.
He picks on the people who think that
they're so good
and that they can look down on others.
And they're so you know, he picks on
people and he really wants to make sure
that people know that everybody
has their own vulnerabilities when it comes to
their relationship with Allah's problems. I'm actually curious
here as well. So you can just,
click out and I'll put myself in, or
you can click me in.
Like, leave the stream.
Hey. It's not like everybody. Alright. Sorry about
that. So he's very real with people who
tend to see themselves as being very religious,
very smart.
People who and and he calls them,
you know, he he's gonna mention them here,
the philosophers.
Because during his time,
there were a group of people
who engaged in different levels of,
conversation on philosophy,
And they genuinely thought to themselves that, you
know, we are better than other people. And
they would sit and they would discuss and
they would drink tea and they would, you
know, have these really intellectual conversations.
And they would talk about, for example, poverty.
They would be like, you know, poverty is
a real problem. People are poor. They're hungry.
They have nowhere to live. What causes poverty?
And they would sit there for, like, hours
and talk about these things. And then they
would all go home to their houses.
And they would walk home and they would
pass by homeless people, people who didn't have
a home and they would just pass by
them. So Imam Al Ghazali would get really
frustrated and he's like, you guys sit and
talk for hours and hours about all these
evils in the world.
Yet, I don't see you out there fixing
them. All I see you doing is talking.
And mind you, this is not some random
person saying this. This is like one of
the smartest,
most incredible minds. They used to call him
Pujatul Islam. It means
literally, you you are a proof of Islam.
That if people could meet you, they would
know Islam is true because you're so
amazing in your conduct.
Islam. Right?
So this next section, when he writes back
to his student,
it says knowledge, but it includes
a lot of different mini topics. And you're
gonna see what I'm talking about. Who could
read for us in the beginning, the first
part? Who wants to read?
Somebody new.
Somebody who hasn't read for us before.
You're gonna read. I'm gonna
comment. Did you read it? Hold on. No?
Alright. Go ahead. Before you leave us forever
and go to Jerkies.
To divide others Are you gonna be in
the next season of our total?
Is that what you're going for?
You don't wanna tell anybody. Right?
You're gonna be the next.
Okay. Anyways okay. Go ahead.
Subhanallah, dude. Wow. What a punch. You know,
like, when the boxing match started, like, the
first punch gets it just gets on that
dude's jaw. And you're like, I don't think
he's gonna make it. You know, 9 rounds
or I don't think it's gonna go very
far.
This is like one of the strongest statements
ever. Right?
Advice is easy.
And he says
The difficult part is accepting it.
Like everybody has something to say. Right? Yes
or no?
Does everyone have an opinion? Raise your hand
if you agree with this statement. Does everybody
have an opinion to share
on something?
Yeah. I mean, you if you if you
are on Twitter or TikTok or Instagram, you
know that everybody has an opinion in the
world.
And everybody has an opinion on how something
could get better or what the problem is
or what people should be like. Right? And
musiha2 signon. It's so easy.
Everybody can think that they're giving advice.
He
says,
The difficult part is accepting it.
So how often does people do people open
their mouths
to say something
versus how often do people open their hearts
to accept what's being said to them?
Maybe every 100 times I give my opinion,
one time I take someone else's opinion.
Maybe. And even that might be too generous.
So Imam Al Ghazali is saying, look,
if you really wanna change the world, stop
talking.
Start doing.
Because giving advice is not impressive.
That's what he's saying. Remember, he's not talking.
He's talking to people who think that they
have all the answers.
And he's telling them, you think that you
guys are impressing everybody?
Says you really wanna impress people,
start acting differently.
Start changing yourself.
You really want people to listen to you?
Start doing things. The prophet you know, one
of the things interesting about him, you guys
wanna hear something crazy?
He didn't talk a lot. Isn't that kinda
interesting? For someone who has a lot of
hadith and a lot of statements, a lot
of teachings, he didn't speak a lot. In
fact,
he was known to end his classes
early. He would have these duroos, these gatherings,
these majadas,
and he would say, okay,
you know, subhanakallahu bihamdik mashadhu wa'ala, he would
just end and the companions would say, You
Rasool Allah, look, we wanna listen.
Keep going, man. Like, You Rasoolallah, please wanna
hear wanna keep hearing you.
And he would say, what? I don't want
you to get tired of me.
I know you wanna keep listening, but there
will come a time when I'm talking,
if I keep going, and you're gonna say,
man, I wish he would
sweet. His smile was so radiant.
His character was so phenomenal. No one wanted
him to end. And he said, look, we're
all human.
At the end of the day, if I
keep talking,
at some point, you're gonna say what?
You're gonna look at your watch. They didn't
have a watch. You're gonna look at your
sundial. Right? You're gonna look at the sun
and be like, what time is it? You
know? So he said, I don't want to
force you to that point.
Interesting. Right? The prophet
had all the answers. He had Allah
giving him the answers from the heavens,
but he wouldn't always chime in.
There's one story that's very powerful.
There's a longer portion of it, but all
you need to know is that there came
a point
when a man who was in love with
a woman
dove for her and grabbed her at the
ankles because he was so in love with
her, and she was not in love with
him.
She didn't want anything to do with it.
I see a lot of guys kinda lowering
their heads. Been there.
They're like, dang.
I am like the Sahabi. Yeah. So
there was a woman there was a woman,
her name was Barira.
There was a man whose name was Muhif.
Muhif
loved Barira. Barira did not love Muhif.
They were once married and their marriage dissolved.
And as she was leaving him,
Walid went to the prophet said, yeah, as
well, please, can you, like,
can, you know, can you make a pitch
for me? Like, can you try to get
her back? The prophet said,
I can try.
You know how people say I can't work
miracles? That doesn't fit with him because he
can do miracles. But so he said I'll
try. So he goes to Bireera and he
says, will you ever consider a belief again?
And she said, so how listen to her
answer. She said, is this a command?
Or are you just asking? Because if you're
commanding,
I will listen because you're the messenger of
God.
But if you're just asking me what my
preference is, You Rasoolallah, then I have to
tell you, no, I'm no longer interested in
being married to him.
And the prophet said, I'm not commanding you.
This is just me asking as your brother.
He asked me to ask you, so I'm
passing on the message. So So she says,
you Rasool Allah, I'm sorry. I can't do
it. I'm not interested. He goes back to
Malik and he says, Malik, I'm sorry. It's
not gonna happen.
Malik just, like, cries out from pain. And
then he sees Barira walking by. He dives
at her and grabs her feet. The prophets,
they're not married. Okay? Touching
at this point is not halal. It's not
okay.
Right? You're no longer a couple. You can't
physically touch.
Okay? You just it's it's hard. I know.
But you have to the prophet is witnessing
all this.
He sees this. And what does he do?
Does he, like, call I'm I'm about to
bring the whip. You know, like, is that,
like, how not the car, by the way.
Whip actually is a weapon. I know for
a lot of you grew up, you're like,
what car? No. That what he called his
camel? No. The whip is actually like a
thing made from leather. I'm gonna bring the
whip. No. That that wasn't
someone bring the swords, cut his hand off.
This is how people think.
You know? Imagine you'd imagine, like, in front
of your parents, you were in love with
this girl and she said no and you
dove and grabbed her ankles.
What would your parents do? I just saw
all the Arabs in the room shutter.
Right?
But they used to be like, well, you
know, is she a doctor? What's I mean,
we can try to make this work, you
know. So subhanAllah,
he looks at his companion next
to him. It was it was I believe
it was Abdul Lab Mid Masarud.
And he says to him,
he goes, how interesting is this situation?
He's not saying anything to what's happening. So
how interesting is this situation?
And he and he the the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam is marveling over the heart.
He's saying how interesting is it that somebody
can love someone so much.
Malif loves Barira, dude. Like, he's melting into
a puddle in front of her.
He loves her so much and he said
she
does not like him just as much.
And the prophet said how ajeeb is this?
How strange is this?
Right?
And then he just kinda let the situation
resolve itself.
Broken hearts eventually mend. So he just kinda
let it.
But subhanallah, in that situation, if I just
told you the first half of the story
and then I stopped at the part where
he dove and grabbed her ankles and the
prophet
saw this with his own eyes, Wouldn't
you have assumed
that the prophet would say, hey,
don't you assume that kind of based on
maybe like what we think of Islam and
our upbringing?
But no, the prophet didn't
always share his opinion.
He didn't always share it.
Sometimes he would hold back and he would
let things develop.
Right? Why? Because
as people say, there's a reason Allah gave
us 2 ears and one mouth.
Because listening can be more powerful than speaking.
Okay?
So he says,
It's difficult to accept.
Why?
He says
He says because for the person
who is a follower of their desires,
he said that advice is going to be
very what?
Bitter.
It's gonna be very sour for them.
Okay?
It's a difficult thing for people who follow
their desires
to listen to advice.
Now when you read that, you kinda say
to yourself, like, okay,
sorry. I just cut you off, Murad. I
know you're reading. I just kind of continued.
When you hear that follow your desires, what
do you guys think of when you think
of desires? Tell me. What is a desire?
When Islam says don't follow your desires, what
is what are we talking about?
Give me examples of desires. You don't have
to say just say my friend told me
that this is a desire. That way we
know it as soon as it's you.
What do you guys think?
Like, I heard on the Internet this is
a desire, but I don't
anyone?
Money. Money? Okay. Good. We can start safe.
What else?
Pleasure. What kind of okay. We can go
ambiguous.
Okay.
What else?
What's a desire? Give me, like, the easy
ones. Like, the one that everyone's, like, think
of.
Okay. Yeah. Like like satisfying your gluttony appetite.
Yeah. Imam Al Ghazali has a whole
has a whole,
chapter, has a whole book on this in
his
uhya, on the dangers of eating
and how it can just destroy your your
your
spirituality,
if a person eats too much.
Very good. Okay. What else? What are some
other desires?
Okay. Physical desires,
sleeping,
eating,
right, intimacy, *. These are all desires that
Allah
created us with, but he gave us appropriate
avenues for them. Eat, don't eat too much,
and don't eat haram. Sleep, but don't miss
your prayers. You can be intimate and have
relationship with the person that you're married to.
So there's always a way that Allah created
a pathway for us. Very few things by
the way in life are just like
definitively
never ever can you do this.
Right? There's always a time and a place
and situation when Allah allows us to engage
as long as it doesn't,
what, destroy us.
Okay?
So desires, when we talk about those, they're
very easy. But you know what else is
a desire? Backbiting is a desire. Imam Al
Ghazali famously says that the human being, just
like it has an appetite to eat, it
has an appetite to talk trash.
Just like the human wants to eat food,
we also have an appetite to comment on
people.
Isn't that true? Have you guys ever read
the comments of a TikTok video or, like,
an Instagram post? Have you ever read the
comments?
How much of it is just pure garbage?
People saying the most horrific and horrible things
about people.
Subhanallah, man. It's crazy. Like, I want you
I got think about this.
Backbiting
is such a big problem in the world
that there are nonprofit organizations that raise 1,000,000
of dollars to combat bullying.
Think about that. If we think backbiting is
not a problem, I want you to understand
there are 1,000,000 of dollars that prove you
wrong.
It's a huge problem.
Okay? That's a desire. You know what else
is a desire?
Looking down on people, making people feel bad
for whatever reason.
Whether it's because of material or spiritual or
personality, whatever, making someone feel bad.
That's a desire. So Imam Al Azali is
saying, if you are somebody who falls into
your desires and fall and and can't
discipline yourself away from them, good luck ever
trying to hear advice.
Good luck.
Don't raise your hand with this question, but
how many of you think internally? Raise your
heart, not your hand. How many of you
have trouble listening to advice?
Don't raise your hand. Don't raise your hand.
Don't raise your hand.
I saw some people
I appreciate the honesty, but no. Think about
it. How many of you when somebody starts
advising you, you either instantly start thinking about
what? How to make excuses?
Or you go on the counter attack.
They advise you, you're like, who are you
to talk? Tell me then.
And instead of just sitting back and listening
and saying, okay.
Let me listen to this.
Let me take it. And instead of making
excuses,
actually trying to put yourself
in their shoes so that you can see
where they're coming from.
Because maybe you're not intentionally doing what you're
doing, but maybe you're still doing it. Is
it possible to hurt somebody unintentionally?
Yeah. Of course. Is it possible to to
offend somebody without meaning it?
Absolutely.
So when they give you advice and say,
hey, you know, maybe you should watch your
tone. I had the funniest conversation with Musa,
guys. Alright. So Musa turned 4 today.
So I can keep embarrassing him. So I
had the funniest conversation. I'm trying to teach
my son
how to say things nicely.
He's a very passionate child. When he wants
something, he wants something.
So he left one of his toys in
the car,
and I was busy,
and I was doing something.
And he was playing, and then he decided,
okay. I want that toy. So he comes
running, baba baba. I said, yes, Musa. He
goes, baba,
get me my Spider Man
mask. I said, Musa, and I kneeled down.
I said, Musa, how you be? I said,
listen, Baba.
When you ask
somebody, make sure you ask nicely. Can you
tell me again nicely how do you say
that? He goes, Baba. I said, yes. He
goes, can you please get me my Spider
Man mask?
I said, very good. Thank you. He goes,
yes. Right now.
I said, you just ruined it, dude.
Well, that story happened yesterday. I said, you
know what? I I kinda had to take
the l there and be like, alright. We
got one.
Right? I thought I had them, but we
got one.
So
the reason I'm telling you that story is
because,
subhanallah,
it's very when I try to explain to
Musa
how to speak nicely, his first reaction is
to explain that he wants something. He's not
listening to me.
What am I trying to say, guys? If
you can't take advice, what are you acting
like?
A toddler. You're acting like a child.
If a person can't listen to what somebody's
saying and entertain it, it may not be
a 100% true,
but if a person can't just simply listen
and say, okay, let me sit back, let
me close my mouth for a second, and
let me actually
analyze what they're saying.
Okay.
Now Musa, by the way, doesn't think he's
being rude.
When he tells me, baba baba, get me
the mask right now, he doesn't think he's
being rude. He thinks he's just being urgent.
But he doesn't understand, like, the way he's
talking, what he's saying, interrupting me, all that
stuff. He doesn't get it yet. You know
what I'm saying? But is he still being
rude? Yes.
Does do I give him a pass because
he's 4 years old? Yeah. Sure.
But now think about you.
Think about the things that we've done that
we didn't intend to hurt somebody with, but
we hurt them. Think about the facial expressions
we've made. Think about the thing you have
to clarify, subhanAllah.
Instead of assuming that people are gonna take
it the right way, I want everyone to
start thinking, okay, how can I make sure
they don't take it the wrong way?
How can I make sure I don't take
it the wrong way? Today,
I was waiting outside of somebody's house because
he was gonna he was gonna let me
borrow his pickup truck.
And he was at work, so he had
to unlock his door from
his phone.
That's like a statement that if we said
that 10 years ago, everyone's like, this guy
is a gym.
He had to unlock his door from his
phone, and he said, go into my house.
The keys are right there. Grab the key.
Do what you gotta do. Right?
And I texted him, and I said, hey.
I'm outside your house.
Meaning what? Can you open the door for
me? 10 minutes later, I said, hey. Sound
like them. Just wanna let you know I'm
here.
5 minutes later, so I've been waiting there
for 15 minutes. Again, I'm taking phone calls.
I'm answering emails. You know, we can work
anywhere now.
He messages me back and he says, dude,
dude, I'm so sorry.
I'm so so sorry. I was seeing he's
a dentist. I was seeing a patient.
Please please go to the door. I I
have it unlocked.
And I thought to myself, subhanallah,
I was texting him and I wasn't even
in a rush.
In fact, I was getting work done.
But look at how he felt.
He felt like I was doing what?
Hey, I'm here.
I'm in front of your door.
Are you there?
He thought that I was rushing him. So
then instead of leaving him with that sourness
in his chest,
I text him. I said, dude, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have made you feel rushed.
I was fine, man. I had phone calls.
I was talking to my mom. I had
some emails to answer.
You're good.
Right? Now I could have just been like,
good, man. Open the door.
And just let him live with it. But
then you know what happens? The next time
he wants to do me a favor, he's
like, man that guy wasn't very appreciated.
And this is how friendships start to splinter
apart.
When you assume that the person needs to
give you the benefit of the doubt. Instead
of what? Let me give you the benefit
of the doubt myself.
Okay? So this is how imam al Ghazali
says. He says that when a person follows
their desires
and by the way, that arrogance is a
desire. I don't have to clarify. He should
know. That's a that's a desire. That's arrogance.
Right?
Go ahead. This is more. Keep reading.
Wow. Wow. One more time.
I love Imam Al Ghazali because he's like,
oh, yes. Here we go. Everybody who thinks
they're religious and knowledgeable is like, yeah, desires,
like all those fornicators and alcoholics out there.
And they think that, oh, all those people
who are doing dances on TikTok and they're,
they think and they assume
that they are above
everybody. So what does he say?
This is specifically a problem for you students
of Islamic knowledge.
Dang.
We call that treated. In Chicago when I
grew up, we used to go like this.
If someone treat, we're like, you just got
treated.
Right? You just got treated. Imam Ghazali was
strong, man, subhanallah.
Why is he saying this? He's saying this
because he
says, you guys, the desires you have, they
may not be desires
that other people have, but you still have
those desires of arrogance and looking down upon
people.
Right? And we don't have to do, like,
a survey. How many of y'all? But if
you feel if if if if you do
something in your religion
and the first thing you think about is
how much better you are than people, then
you haven't done it right.
Your religious practice should actually have nothing to
do with other people.
If you pray, you should not think about
others who don't pray. You should think about
Allah.
You know what I mean? Like, it should
have nothing to do with other people.
We only think of other people when we
know that we have a lot of
vulnerabilities and insecurities, and we try to what?
We try to ignore and we try to,
distract ourselves from our own problems.
So we think of others because it's an
easy target. Right? May Allah protect us from
that. Okay. Continue.
Those of them who are busy in the
race, experience, and the benefits of this world.
Yes. Those people who
on on behalf of the religion,
they act and they say that, Oh, you
know everyone basically treats them so nicely and
praises them. Oh, masha'Allah
hafisaab, oh, masha' you recite so nicely. Oh,
this, this, this, you're so religious.
These are those are the ones that have
a real issue.
Right? And again, I'm I don't want people
walking out of here to be like, you
go you go to the masjid and you
see the first person with a beard. You're
like, Nava Khazadi said you're a punk. Like,
that's not that's not the goal of this
gathering.
The goal of this gathering is to apply
everything internally, but I want you guys to
notice how he is not leaving
anyone safe. No one's safe.
Alright. Continue.
They believe that the pure aspect of all
of them without proper action will rescue
them.
He says that these people
he says
He says that, I'm sorry, I I skipped
the line. He says that,
He
says that because these people are convinced
that just being smart and knowing things without
acting upon that, it's gonna save them. And
he says that,
that they think that their salvation
and their protection is gonna come from this.
Go ahead.
This is the belief of the philosophers.
So
when he says philosophers, I don't want you
guys to think that he's talking, Well, he
is kinda talking about, like,
the philosophers, like, of this. But he basically
what he's saying is that, look, if you
think you can just sit and read and
learn
without acting, you're you're foolish. And that's essentially
gonna be the basis of everything that he's
gonna be talking about throughout the rest of
this book. He's basically gonna be saying that,
look,
Islam is not an encyclopedia.
This deen is not like some sort of
dictionary or reference manual. No. This deen is
meant to be lived. Some of the greatest
companions knew very little Quran, but they acted
upon everything they knew.
And he said that some of the some
of some people in our history,
they were very knowledgeable about certain things, but
they weren't able to translate that into
action. Right? So he's kinda hating on some
of those philosophers and and trying to fix
that for us. Right? So then continue. What
does he say?
The end yeah. The indictment. Right? That's what
they're using here?
Yeah. It says
that. Okay. So he says that these people
don't realize something. When you gain knowledge,
this is scary. Y'all ready for this?
How many of us actually, let me read
it first and then we'll ask a question.
He says,
He says that a person doesn't realize that
if they learn something and they don't do
it, that it actually becomes
testimony against them.
A
testimony against them, meaning what? How many of
us know what we should be doing and
we don't do it? Raise your hand. Raise
your hand if you know something in Islam
that you should be doing, but you don't
do it.
Okay? Or that you know something you should
not be doing, but you still do it.
Okay?
So that's super scary
because what's the value of us knowing something
then?
We do this all the time, by the
way. How many of y'all know what is
a healthy diet to to have? How many
of y'all know? Let me rephrase this. How
many of you guys know Taco Bell is
not good for you?
How many of you still go to Taco
Bell?
Or how many of you know a McChicken
is not really chicken?
Someone asked me today, they're like, is McDonald's
a beha? Like, is it halal to eat?
And I said, well, there's no meat involved,
So we don't have to talk about the
slaughter process.
Who knows what's in that stuff? Just bones.
So
just bones and meat broth. Okay. So
the reality is
we know all the time. If you wanna
lose weight, lay off the ice cream.
Right? And then what? 11 PM rolls around
and my freezer is like,
there's ice cream, you know. If you wanna
wake up early, go to bed now. Put
your phone down.
But that blue light is so nice.
You know what I mean? If you wanna
get do wellness exam,
turn your phone off and start studying.
But if I just scroll on TikTok for
90 more minutes,
maybe my algorithm will change. You know? Like,
I don't know. There's all these different the
mind and the heart are constantly battling. Always.
Always. Always.
The heart wants what it wants. The mind
knows what's right.
The the goal for us is what? That's
why we say,
Allah make my heart firm upon your deen.
That way I'm not battling my heart.
That way my heart is actually my ally.
It's my advocate.
I'm not trying to go against it. You
know, some people our hearts are like young
children. You try to walk with a young
child, you're not gonna get very far because
they're always wandering. They're going left and right.
You have to correct them all the time.
But some people, their hearts are like wise
souls. They know all the right decisions, and
they don't make mistakes.
And the hearts are just going right along
that straight path.
So are we gonna live life constantly battling
internally or are we gonna say, you know
what?
Alaa Razi, like I'm following whatever you want.
You're my leader.
My heart is the leader as Imam Al
Ali he said Radiullah Wa'an that
the heart is the leader of the body.
Whatever the heart wants, the body is gonna
do. That's why in the day of judgment
what happens?
The tongue will testify against the person.
The tongue, subhanAllah, the tongue is gonna say
Allah will give each body part the opportunity
to speak,
and each body part will testify
who knows how,
but they will testify against the soul.
The eyes will say, you made me look
at that.
You made me. The ears will say, you
made me listen to it. The tongue will
say, you made me say that.
I was just your organ.
The heart is what made me why did
you make me do that? Now we're all
gonna be punished.
Now we're all going into the fire. Why
did you make me do that?
This is why, subhanallah,
the heart has to be purified and has
to be flipped around.
Right? So he says this. He says
that this is something that the philosophers do.
They they
bask and they love knowing everything and not
acting upon a single thing. You're much better
off knowing little and acting upon what you
know than knowing a lot and not acting
upon anything. You're much better off.
Okay? So he says they don't realize that
it's gonna be a proof against them. What
did the prophet say? Go ahead.
Yes. He says that
what?
He says
This translation is actually a little bit different
from Arabic. Allah did not give that person
the ability to benefit from their knowledge,
that they didn't grant Allah did not grant
them. Why is that translation super powerful?
We assume that learning something is gonna change
us. But, no, Allah actually has a key.
And if Allah wants you to benefit from
that knowledge, He'll open the door for you.
That's why you have to ask him, oh,
Allah, open that door for me.
Right?
Oh, Allah open the door for your mercy
for me. You go to the masjid, you
make that dua. Isn't it crazy? You're already
there.
You're already at the masjid. Why are you
making dua? Allah open the door of mercy
for me. Because you could get a phone
call that says come home.
You could pray and not be thinking about
it. So you still need Allah's mercy to
make things better for you. Then he's and
this part is oh my goodness, man. This
part is next level.
This is my this is probably my favorite
line in the book.
I'm not gonna cry. I promise. But, man,
it gets me every time. Go ahead.
Who's Janae? Sorry. Janae, just so you know,
is like a really famous Janae al Baghdadi.
Very famous
very famous scholar, incredibly famous person, like, well
known.
Amazing amazing knowledge, amazing speeches, like, super well
known. Think of the most famous,
smart, scholar that you can think of, and
Junaid was more than that.
All over the Muslim world, it was like
a legend.
Listen to what he says. Go ahead. So
everyone thinks what? This guy for sure is
in paradise. He's for sure in Jannah. Think
about all the lectures he gave you.
Yes. Yes. Go ahead.
So somebody saw him in their dream.
Somebody was sleeping and they saw Janae and
they're like, woah.
Right? It's like seeing Mambuhari in your dream.
You're like, oh my gosh. Right? And so
they asked him, what
mal halabru, like, what's what's on the other
side?
Tell us, like, give us the deeps, like,
what's going on? Go ahead.
Subhanallah, dude. Oh my god.
It hits especially when you're the one giving
the speech, man.
He says,
ta hatil ihgarat.
All of the expressions were nothing.
Every word we uttered into the microphone meant
nothing.
He says,
wafnaytil
isharat.
And all of the
isharat is like when you guide people, you
point. You're telling people, like, go here, do
this, do that. All of the advice I
gave to everybody, it didn't do anything.
I spent my life lecturing and teaching and
guiding and nothing was there. I came on
the day of judgement, I saw nothing. And
nothing was there. I came on the day
of judgment, I saw nothing.
He said,
The only thing I saw waiting for me
on the other side
were those 2 raka'at that I prayed in
the middle of the night that nobody saw.
SubhanAllah,
dude. Unreal.
Think about how many good deeds you've done
in your life.
Think about all of them. Every good deed
you've done. Fast, pray, all of them. Right?
Now think about how many of them you
did only for Allah.
Think about how many of them no one
else was in your consciousness.
You know, we pray. Why? Because my mom
told me to pray. We're going to tarawiyah.
Why? Because my family is going. I fast.
Why? Because I mean, all of it is
that I wanna do it, but we know
that there's little sprinkles of, like, what? You
know, outside influence. Now think of how many
things you've done because you and Allah are
close.
That's what he's saying.
He's saying I gave so many lectures. I
helped so many people.
But at the end of the day, the
only thing I saw waiting for me on
the day of judgement on my on my
scale, not daydream, my scale,
was those nights that I prayed and no
one knew.
Alright?
So what is Imam al Ghazali trying to
tell us here? What is he trying to
tell us here? Number 1 is he's saying
check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Okay?
If you can't allow people to give you
advice,
you're headed in the wrong direction.
Think of people giving you advice
like your GPS telling you to turn around.
How dumb would a person be to just
keep driving?
Listen. The directions are there. Sometimes Allah sends
you guidance through other people's tongues.
Sometimes he doesn't send it directly to your
heart. You guys ever heard the story about
the man who was drowning and called for
Allah to save him? It's a story. I
don't know if it's, like, authentic. It's just
like a little story.
Alright? Oh, save me. Oh, save me. And
then a a boat came by. Do you
need help? No. God will save me.
And the boat left. Three boats and then
the man died. And then the story goes
that on the day of judgment, this is
not like an authentic it's just like a,
you know, for the law, a virtuous thing.
He said what?
He said,
you know, the man said, oh, God, I
called out to you to save me. And
Allah said, I sent 3 boats,
and you ignored everyone. We laughed, but, honestly,
how many of that is us? You know
what I mean? Like, we want signs.
We want signs, and then, like, a flyer
pops up. Come to Soul Food. I'm like,
man,
God will just guide me directly. What? You're
waiting for Jabril to just knock on your
door?
Hey. It's me.
You know, pray Isha. That's not how it
works.
Sometimes it's through other people. Don't get annoyed
when your mom reminds you to pray.
Don't get annoyed when your friend tells you
to watch your watch your language.
Think of that as Allah using them to
tell you.
And you'll understand now what that advice means.
That's number 1. Number 2,
is what you know will not save you,
what you do will save you.
What you know actually, if you don't do
anything will actually hurt you. And number 3,
try for the love of God, pun intended,
to have things only between you and Allah.
Okay? We always ask Allah to make us
sincere and to keep us grounded. Ameen yarabilalamin.
We're gonna go through some of the questions
on mentimeter Insha'Allah.
We'll go through some questions together. Okay.
Number 1,
How do you start guiding your friends or
help them change in forms of iman? You
know, I get this question a lot with
college students. It's interesting. So this question is
powerful and it's good because
it obviously shows that there's, like, a desire
for us to help people. I'm of the
opinion I'm of the opinion that the best
way
to try to help anybody is to be
a powerful, positive, and good
presence in their life
and not try to be
a teacher, but try to be a friend.
And I think that there will come a
time when your friendship, you know, reaches certain
stages
where they may be open to you giving
them a little bit more direct advice. But
I I am of the opinion that,
you know, for example, if you're together and
it's time to pray, just pray.
You know what I mean? You don't have
to tell the person, let's you know, do
you know the reward for the one who
prays? Like, that's not, you know, that's not
what friendship's about. Like, you might be like,
hey. I'm gonna pray. Do you wanna pray
with me? Or, like, I'm just gonna go
pray. Give the person the chance to pray
with you. If they don't want to, then
don't you know, you don't have to force
them at that moment. But if you do
it enough, then eventually, you'll pray together. Right?
And so being a good positive presence. Also
learning learning
from people, learning from them and listening and
not making it seem like you're only friends
with them with an agenda.
Because that's super lame.
That's super lame. Nobody likes that. Even the
prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, man, he wasn't
the kind of person that would just be
like, I'm your teacher, I'm your teacher. What
did the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam do?
The hadith of Anas, the hadith of others,
they said the prophet used to laugh with
us, used to joke with us, used to
eat with us.
There was one night the prophet was standing
with the companions and he kinda kept leaning
on one foot and then going back to
the other foot. When do you do that?
When you're tired. Right? He was talking with
them and he kept leaning, leaningly. He could
have left but he didn't want to. He
wanted to hang out.
So
be there, be a good friend, and Insha'Allah,
you'll see. Right? And Hidayah,
ultimately, it's up to Allah. Right? That's that's
the other thing.
How do you gain inspiration from other people
without putting yourself down at the same time
with comparisons? For example, seeing someone,
who's smarter, kinder, more religious, a better daughter.
That's a good question.
You know, arrogance and self deprecation, there's a
very fine line,
you know, in between the 2. Like, being
a person who's arrogant, being a person who's
constantly doubting yourself, it's it's easy to fall
on either side.
How does a person balance and and find
humility while still being number 1 is that
you always attribute everything good that you have
to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. So it's in
Islam, it's not haram to think about the
good that you do. That's not haram. What's
haram is to think that what?
I am the reason I'm good.
The problem is not about recognizing.
Allah says, if you recognize the the virtue
of your Lord,
proclaim it.
There's no problem saying, man, you know what?
I
am a beast when it comes to this.
You know, I am awesome at this. But
what do you say? Instead of saying me
me me you say, man, Allah really blessed
me with this.
Right? I'm able to do that, subhanAllah, like
how generous is Allah
that I can do this? I did nothing
to deserve that. You know what I mean?
Or was I just born into this world
and Allah gave me this talent or this
skill or he gave me this passion or
he gave me this? Say Alhamdulillah.
Alright. That's number 1. Number 2 is that
realize just like that person has something you
like, they also have things that you would
not like to see. Everybody pretty much just
shows what's good about them. Nobody shows everything.
So when you see other people and they're
projecting their goodness online or in person, just
realize
you don't have to tell them, hey. I
know you got an a, but you probably
failed other tests.
Right? Hey. I know that you're really pretty
today, but I think you're ugly some days.
Right?
That's not there's no goodness in that. But
all you have to do is tell yourself
that that person is human just like you.
Every up and down that you experience, they
experience it as well. You don't have to
perseverate and marinate your mind in thinking about
that.
Okay?
Safi keeps ending the questions. He's trying to
give me the hint. He's like, let's go.
Is Islam, I e being a Muslim, a
mandatory prerequisite to enter Jannah?
Yes. That is the general rule. Are there
exceptions? Yes. Do we make rules out of
exceptions? No.
Being a Muslim is a prerequisite to enter
paradise.
That is what Allah has told us. Are
there exceptions?
Yes. What are the exceptions?
Allah Ta'ala, we learn from
the certain
references in the Quran and then also from
certain ahadith as well that there are some
people who will have not been given
a clear,
you know, transmission of
the Islam
the Islamic messages we know it. Let's put
it that way. Right? So they will be
judged by Allah but on different parameters.
Basically, they will be judged on a more
elementary version of what we're gonna be judged
on.
Okay?
They're gonna be judged on their fits all.
But is that a is that a general
rule or exception? That's an exception.
So we don't base that. We don't make
a new rule off of that.
Okay? It's like, is there a deadline for
submitting your your exam? Yeah. There's a deadline.
Are there exceptions? Sure. Case by case. Right?
So will there be people in Jannah
who
did not in this life
live publicly as Muslims? Yes. We know that.
Why? Because of Najashi.
Because we have an example in the life
of the Prophet
of the king of Abyssinia
and Najashi that he
outwardly was practicing Christianity, but inwardly his transformation
was towards Isma'at. When he passed away
and Jibreel, alaihis salam, told the prophet, alaihis
salam, the prophet actually prayed on him.
So we know that it's possible. Now does
that mean that the assumption is that everybody
is going to dental food? Otherwise, not necessarily.
How do we balance this?
When you look at someone and you see
them, you have no idea where they're going.
That's the safest way to live.
So if I walk outside and I see
somebody, are you Muslim? They're like, no. I'm
like, it's ahamnam. They're like, what does that
mean?
That's wrong. That's that's that's wrong. Right?
Because as Imam Paha'i says in his book
on Aqidah,
he says we don't condemn anyone to *
nor do we sanctify anyone for Jannah. We
don't know.
The safest route is saying if someone says
where am I going? You say I have
no clue.
They say, what do you mean? Don't you
know? You say, I have no clue. God
told me that in order to get to
paradise, this is the list.
And maybe
at this moment, you're not, like, on that,
but, like, I don't know what tomorrow looks
like for you.
I don't know. Stephen Jackson's Muslim, guys. You
guys know that?
Like, who thought Steven Jackson? You guys know
who Steven Jackson is?
Yeah. Like, peep like, he's Muslim. That's crazy.
His Instagram overnight went from being, like, ex
NBA player to being, like, Sheikh, like, overnight.
He's, like, wearing sobs every day. Everyone's like,
I don't know what that means, but keep
going, man. Like,
big 3. We hope you win this
year.
Dude, subhanallah. Who watched Stephen Jackson play,
you know, and thought for those of you
who don't know what I'm talking about, he's
just a basketball player. But who watched him
play and ever thought that guy's gonna be
Muslim?
And how many Muslims thought when they saw
him, like, that guy is not Muslim. He's
Kafir. He's going to hellfire. And they didn't
realize that, man, this is why you can't
say anything about anybody. And there's a lot
of people who are Muslim who ended up
outside of Islam, and we don't know. So,
Imam Qahawi,
from the book of Aqidah says to us
what? Just don't say anything. Don't think anything.
Just keep your just focused on yourself. Where
am I going?
Where am I going? Just focus on where
I'm going. That's it.
Okay?
How do you how to deal kindly, Islamically,
with a spouse that makes the relationship toxic
and it could affect your mental health? Seek
marital counseling inshallah. And for those of you
who are not married, please get please, please
get premarital counseling. Please.
Counseling does not mean that you have a
problem. It means that you wanna stop problems
before they start.
Okay?
Things,
things feel very meaningless these days. What's the
point of it all? This is a very
interesting question subhanAllah.
You know, I think it's pretty.
First of all, it's really brave to put
that out there.
I think it's pretty easy for a person
to feel like things are just kind of
there's no real value or purpose to life.
And I think when that happens,
is a combination of things. First of all,
we are,
in this day and age, in this era,
more
stimulated and exposed
to information than ever before in history.
You guys know about things that are happening
all across the world, and you didn't sign
up for that. It just it just comes
to you on your on your
phones. And that amount of input information can
stimulate the mind, and the mind respond in
different ways. Some get overactive and some shut
down.
The heart can respond in similar ways.
What I always tell to people when they
come to me with feelings of despair like
this
is that number 1,
Allah Ta'ala,
He knows everything that's going on with you.
He's not
blind or He's not absent from your life.
Number 2 is that sometimes despair happens when
we try to think of everything altogether instead
of going back to basics.
I always ask people
when they say that, you know, I feel
like my life is going nowhere.
I feel like I'm just stuck in the
same rut over and over again. I always
say how many things are you juggling right
now?
How many things are you trying to do
all at once?
If you're trying to do everything at once,
not even do, sometimes think about. How many
things are you thinking about all the time?
Are you constantly thinking about your parents,
your family,
you got drama,
you have this, your grades, your job? Like,
if you're constantly mind is never able to
rest,
then at some point, your mind is gonna
say, I don't wanna do this anymore.
You know what I mean?
So what I always tell people is go
back to your fundamentals, man. What means the
most to you?
Prayer,
because that's your relationship with Allah.
Family,
because those are your ride or dies.
And honestly,
your closest friends.
The people that are like your super companions.
And realize that especially at the college age,
the people that you're friends with,
you have to make sure that you're kinda
selective. I'm not saying you gotta be arrogant,
but I'm saying that the people that you're
friends with, make sure that they bring benefit
to your life. Right?
You don't just gotta be friends with everybody
because you have to make sure they they
bring some sort of benefits to your life.
So focus on your relationship with Allah, your
family, and your very close friends. And let
that be your focus. And take every day
as its own battle, its own victory.
Everyone always ask me during the pandemic, how's
it going? How's it? How's it going? You
know, like, that pandemic, how's it going? Before,
I was like, hey. What's up? Now it's
like, what's up? Tell me. What's up?
And I have 2 kids and, you know,
it's like its own unique struggle. And I
tell them the same thing every time. Many
of you probably heard it. I just say
one day at a time.
Today's Thursday, hamdulillah
8:27,
I'm alive. My kids go to sleep at
night. I'm like, we made it. My wife's
like, what? I'm like, they didn't die. Like,
we're okay. We're doing okay. I'll open the
fridge. I'm like, we got food.
Wallahi, dude. Like, I get hit with things.
Like, I get hit with bills I didn't
expect.
I get hit with, like, things I didn't
you know, the IRS, you owe this much
more. I'm like, wait. What?
I get hit with all kinds of stuff
and I say to myself, you know, I'm
gonna zoom out for a second. Relax.
You got a home,
you got food,
you got people that love you, you got
a relationship with Allah, that's first. Right?
You have you have a prayer rug waiting
for you that you can sit and make
du'a? You got a lot. You have more
than 95% of the world. I'm not trying
to make someone feel bad, but sometimes when
you focus on all the micros, you can't
appreciate the macro.
So zoom out a little bit.
K. Last question. If you pray because you
want something from Allah,
does that still count as you doing it
for only God and not doing it for
some outside reason? Or is that deed purely
for him? Good question. Can I pray
and ask Allah for something? And is that
still sincere?
Who knows the answer? Is this sincere if
I ask Allah for something? Or am I
just being, like, you know, self serving and
only asking? What do you guys think?
I think so. You think it is? Why?
Tell me why.
I mean, just because of who's not watching
video. Oh. He goes for now. Very good.
Who else? Anybody else?
Yeah.
Okay. So when you when you're praying to
Allah asking him, it's sincere because you recognize
who he is.
Okay? I like the way you guys think,
Mashallah. It's good. Because some people try to
be super deep. They're like, no.
Right? And let me tell you something. There
is a time to not ask and just
think.
That brings its own fruit.
You know, there's a hadith that blows your
it blows my mind. You ready for this
one? It blows my mind.
The companion told the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam,
you know, they were it's the end of
the hadith, but at the end of the
hadith, the companions say, You Rasool Allah, you
know, if I if I spend all of
my du'a just sending praise upon you,
and I don't have time to ask, then
what happens? He says, if you do that,
Allah will give you everything you wanted and
more. The Hadith blows my mind because I'm
like, wait. Should I just you know?
But I like where you're going, which is
what? Allah
told us to ask him.
So when we ask him, we're obeying him.
Right? Now if Allah told you when you
pray,
don't ask, just pray to me,
then we'd have a problem. But what does
Allah say? Allah tells us
Ask me, I can give you, I will
give you.
If you want to obey Allah, you're asked.
And when you as he mentioned and as
he mentioned, when you're asking, why are you
asking? Because you know that Allah is the
one that can give you.
Have you guys ever been able to do
a favor for your friend?
Have you been able to? Has your friend
tried to pull the whole, like, shayatikaluf
card, like, no. No. No.
No. No. No. You're like, do you wanna
ride? They're like, no. No. No. No.
No. I'd rather walk.
And you're like, let me just give you
a ride. They're like, no. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No. No. You're go out
of your way. I'm like, I'm literally your
neighbor. Like, just get in my car.
And and
subhanallah, does it make you happy that they're
trying to reject your favor?
In fact, at some point it bothers you.
What are you doing?
I'm clearly capable of helping you.
It's it's not difficult for me. This is
what Allah tells us.
Allah tells us what? If everyone were to
gather and ask what they wanted, Allah said
I can give it to everybody and it
wouldn't affect
me. So when you ask Allah, realize that
you're actually making him happy because he wants
to give
just like you're the one that wants to
give your friend the favor. When you reject
that favor, it's actually pushing Allah away when
he's wanting to help you versus,
hey, you need a ride? And your friend
says, thank you so much. I'd really appreciate
it. It brings the 2 of you closer.
It brings the 2 of you closer. So
when you pray, make sure that you do
ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And also
before you ask, it is good manners
to thank for what he's already given.
Right? Maybe we'll do a workshop on Dua'a,
inshallah. Okay. We'll conclude with that. Barakat al
Haqim everybody. This book is dope. You guys
like this book?
It's super dope. I love this book, mashallah.
May Allah Allah bless everybody here. May he
grant us everything that we need,
everything that we want as long as it's
good for us. May Allah Allah protect us
from things that are challenging to us and
that, you know,
make our life difficult. May Allah
give us the courage to do what's right
and the strength to stay upon the straight
path. May Allah protect us and, you know,
save us from things that distract us and
that tempt us away from the straight path.
May Allah grant us the ability to follow
the example of His beloved Messenger, Muhammad sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam, our teacher, our mentor, our
guide,
and our companion
And
we have food as normal.
We got chicken sandwiches?
I think so. Yeah. Okay. So we got
chicken sandwiches on the way out, freshly made.
And also, inshallah, inshallah, if any of y'all,
if you could help you out by holding
the chairs and putting them against the wall,
we'd really appreciate it. If you guys need
a walk to your car,
we're gonna have some of our staff there.
So they'll walk your car and tell them
to make sure you get to your car
safe. Okay? Alright. So now I'm like,
What's up, sir? I don't get your finger.
Still broken?
How'd you break your finger?
Oh, no. How are you doing?
Oh my goodness.
That's a good. How
are you doing? I guess you're.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sure.