Safi Khan – Soul Food 09 February 2024
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of verifying assumptions in Islam, avoiding being a person filled with bad assumptions, and avoiding being wary of assumptions in one's speech. They also emphasize the importance of avoiding being spied on and avoiding the concept of "people's mind". The speaker provides examples of backbiting, including talking about a person in a way that they wouldn't like, and advises against seeking punishment for actions until evidence is available. They also stress the importance of avoiding mistakes and backbiting, and remind the audience to wish well upon one another. The RSVP link is on the Root's Instagram page.
AI: Summary ©
Alright.
We're gonna go ahead
and,
begin for tonight.
Everybody.
How's everyone doing?
Doing okay? Could be worse? Alright.
It's always good to it's always good to
play a game of could be worse. Always
reminds you
that, things are not so bad,
as as as they could possibly be. So
may Allah
allow everyone to
heal from any sort of,
you know, sicknesses or illnesses. May Allah
heal any sort of hearts that are in
pain. May Allah lift any sort of,
heaviness off of people's hearts and burdens off
people's shoulders. May
Allah bless everybody
and keep everyone's family safe and healthy. I
mean,
so
we're going to,
continue on with
our cultivating character series,
and
we reach
a
chapter today
that is
one of the most,
I would say, one of the most descriptive
chapters
in the entire Surah or one of the
most descriptive segments in the entire Surah.
And
because this segment is all about the idea
of suspicion,
about spying, about backbiting,
about,
you know, and and Allah
gives a very,
very serious
analogy
in this particular ayah
that kind of brings everyone to a realization
of how heinous the crime of backbiting actually
is. And it's a famous one that is
used in the Quran that a lot of
people reference,
when it comes to the entire idea of
backbiting in and of itself. So inshallah, we'll
dive into a little bit of that today.
So Allah ta'ala, he begins this
verse. He says,
Okay. So he begins by saying,
O you who believe.
Okay.
He says, avoid
many suspicions.
Okay.
By the way, in Arabic means the idea
of thinking of someone or the thoughts that
you have of somebody. Okay?
And this is why the opposite of
is
means, like, evil, you know, thoughts that are
not so good of other people,
suspicions, and, you know, things that we may
think of someone that may not be true
or even if it is true, it's things
that we think badly of.
And then you have what we call.
Basically means good thoughts, good assumptions, giving your
brother or sister the benefit of the doubt,
giving them 70 excuses. This is what a
Husnuddin would be. And, you know, when you
look at the prophetic community
in Madinah and then obviously in Mecca,
one of the the elements that kept that
community flourishing
was the fact that everybody in that community
or in those communities
had extremely good thoughts of one another.
They would constantly be giving each each other
excuses
before they would accuse one another of certain
things. Right? That if they saw somebody doing
something that may look
somewhat, you know,
questionable.
They would always think to themselves that, you
know what? I know this person, and they've
been in my life for so long, and
I've
built such a relationship with them that I
would never think of them to be such
and such. There must be a reason why
I'm seeing what I'm seeing. Right?
And, unfortunately,
the opposite of this, that when a person
is lacking,
it's replaced with what we call,
which means evil thoughts of people. The moment
we see somebody doing even something remotely questionable,
we automatically assume the absolute worst of that
person.
And so Allah Ta'ala, he gives us a
beautiful lesson in this ayah about how to
avoid
being a person who is filled with bad
thoughts of other people. How to be a
person who trains the heart to think well
of other people. Y'all ever heard that word
or that phrase, like, well wishers?
You know, like, you wanna you you you
like, people who are close to you should
be people who are well wishers of you.
I mean, how do you get to a
status of wishing well upon people? So at
the end of today's session,
we're gonna kinda put in practicality a few
of the steps, a few of the bullet
points of how to develop within one's heart
the idea of wishing well or thinking well
of another brother or sister. Because at the
end of the day, remember, these begin
with.
Right? There's a reason, and it's not a
coincidence that Allah doesn't
say He could have easily said
But he
says,
He says, oh, you believers
avoid
too many suspicions
with other believers.
Because one of the the the the qualifiers
of, you know, why a person deserves
good thoughts and good assumptions
is because they believe in Allah.
Right? If a person believes in Allah, they
believe in this life of morality that is
focused around Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and the
prophet
you know that they know or they should
know what right and wrong is.
Right? And so even when you see them
doing something that may not seem completely right,
you give them the benefit of the doubt
because they are believers in God.
They believe in Allah. They believe in the
messenger. So I know that even if something
doesn't look right, there must be an explanation
that I might not know about. And this
is what the prophetic community was all about.
Okay? And then
he says,
okay. He says,
verily,
okay, verily,
that verily with some
some assumptions
come,
Itham,
sinfulness,
wrongfulness.
Now let's dissect this here.
What do you all think this means?
What do you all think it means when
Allah says that verily with some assumptions,
not all,
but some assumptions
come sinfulness. What do y'all think that means?
Somebody wanna take a shot at this?
What y'all think it means? Why does he
use some?
What's, like, the trick here as, like, a
human? What's, like, the trick that Shaitan kind
of plays on us?
He says that verily with some assumptions come
sinfulness. Why do Allah use some
instead of all assumptions?
Anybody? There's a really beautiful explanation here. Yeah.
You can have good and bad assumptions about
people. Okay? I'll give you a hint. I'm
gonna help you out a little bit. Are
all the the the the bad assumptions you
make of people false all the time?
No.
Exactly.
Some bad assumptions
you make of certain people turn out to
possibly be true.
Right? That I saw this person,
and it looked like they were doing x,
y, and z, and it turns out that
they actually were doing x, y, and z.
Right?
And the trick here is that a person,
Shaitan, begins to coax
and persuade a person
that, oh, you were right that one time.
So go ahead. Lay out one of the
mother assumptions.
You're all you're, like, shooting 1 for 1
right now. Why not make it 2 for
2? Right? And even if you're, like, one
for 2, why not try and make a
2 for 3? Here we go. Right? We're
playing the percentages here.
And
a human being begins to believe in their
heart
that
as long as I'm in the right the
majority of times,
I'm good.
Like, when somebody says, oh, man. You shouldn't
make too many assumptions about people. And you're
like, well, actually, you know, the 10 times
I've assumed something of somebody, 7 out of
those 10 times I was right.
70%,
I was right more than I was wrong.
But this is where Allah, he says,
that verily
with some of those assumptions
come heavy sins.
So what is Allah teaching us here? He's
teaching us that
even if you were right 7 out of
10 times, the 3 times that you were
wrong weigh heavier than the 7 times that
you were right.
Does that make sense?
That, you know, as a believer, you don't
believe that the times that you were right
are automatically
equivalent to the times that you were wrong.
Because people don't realize the times that you
were wrong, you could have
really destroyed a person's
karama,
a person's honor. You could have completely destroyed
a person's image
in front of other people.
You could have completely broken up a friendship
that was actually beautiful.
You could have made another person think very,
very badly of them when there was nothing
there to begin with.
And so that one time where your assumption
was not correct, it's not just one time
you were wrong, it actually led to several
almost like a domino effect of things that
went badly for that person because of that
assumption that you gave them. Does that make
sense?
So Allah Ta'ala is saying that as a
Muslim,
you don't wanna play the percentages
because Shaytan will try to kind of convince
you like that. Oh, yeah, man. You're good.
Yeah. Yeah. You're you're you're you're you're fine.
It doesn't matter if you mess up a
couple times. It doesn't matter if you mess
up just a few times. No. No. No.
It's okay.
This is one of those situations, by the
way, and I wanna kind of, you know,
mention this. This is a really important point
here. That in Islam, generally
generally,
when it comes to, like, inward thoughts,
not translating out into actions,
Allah
may not hold that person accountable for their
thoughts. Right? We all think we all know
this. Right? That when a a thought becomes
an action and that action is an a
deed that is bad, that is when Allah
will hold you accountable.
But when it's a thought like, I can't,
for example, like, I I can't go by
and walk by a person and, you know,
let's say, for example, like, I'm fasting in
the month of Ramadan, and there's, like, a
piece of, like, food that's out in the
down the countertop, and I just think about
how delicious it would taste at, like, 4:30,
then I just think about it for, like,
10 minutes. I'm not held accountable for that.
Right? Because I didn't do anything. I thought
about it. This is almost like a human
inclination. I didn't actually eat it. Now if
I ate it, I broke my fast, then
there's, you know, some sort of sin that
is involved.
But this conversation is very different because jealousy,
bad thoughts,
ill intent with other people
may actually
lead to other bad things that can happen
in regards to sin for that person who's
thinking that way. Okay?
A jealous thought,
a person who's constantly jealous,
may be a person who allows their jealousy
to turn into action very easily.
Imam Al
Ghazali he mentions this several times. He says
that how foolish is the person who is
jealous because they don't really end up harming
the person who they're jealous of as much
as they harm themselves.
Right? When I go to sleep at night,
I'm a and I'm jealous of a person.
The person who I'm jealous of, I have
no idea that I even exist.
I might just be like a thought to
their to their mind. But here I am
tossing and turning in my bed, not sleeping
properly because I have so much ill thought
of that person and so much jealousy of
that person. Right? So this is why Allah,
he mentions
this idea of some assumptions.
Okay?
And then
he continues and he says,
okay.
He says and do not spy on one
another.
Do not spy on one another. And this
comes from a very very beautiful
you know hadith the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam where the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
he mentions he says
he says
be wary of
having too many thoughts in your mind of
people. You know? Like, you know, sometimes, it's
interesting. Right? When you when you sit with
your friends,
a lot of times you can tell
the quality of that friendship by the conversations
that take place in those circles.
Right?
That one, the the the the conversation
in that friendship
always turns out to be something of benefit.
Those are the people you really hold near
and dear to you. But sometimes when the
conversation always revolves around the
the stories of other people,
sometimes,
you know, you realize that there's not much
to this friendship besides us just talking mess
about folks constantly.
And we think about this person and that
person, and those thoughts are not in good
ways.
Those thoughts are always, oh, did you hear
about that?
Did you hear about his situation? Did you
hear about her situation? Did you hear about
what they did?
So the prophet says,
be wary of too many assumptions in your
mind. Don't make assumptions. If you don't know
something,
just remain quiet. There's a very beautiful hadith,
the prophet he mentioned. He says,
a person who is silent
is a person who is saved. Why?
Because that person does not allow themselves to
say anything that will incriminate them.
The moment that it leaves your lips
is a moment where you can be held
accountable for that thing now. But I can't
just sit with a group of people and
say, hey.
I'm just leaving this out here for y'all.
Y'all do what you want with this information.
But I saw that brother last week.
And, like, continue? Like, no.
That's all I'm gonna say. And, Habibi, this
brother thinks that he did himself a favor.
Rather, what he did was he took a
match, lit it on fire, dropped it inside
of, like, a, like, a home, and just
walked away.
Oh, I'm not gonna say anything more. No.
No. But you allowed it to escape.
And now it actually might do more harm
where you think to yourself that you didn't
do anything because you didn't go full full
force, but you actually began
it. You began it. And in a weird
way,
you actually saying and you are you not
saying that, hey. You know what? I'm sorry.
That was my mistake. I shouldn't have said
that. Let's just kind of, like, put a
lid on it and move on. I don't
wanna talk about that, man. But a person
who just lights the match, drops it, and
then walks away from
it, they could have done twice as much
harm. So the prophet says,
He says, verily,
much assumption
or false assumptions
are the worst.
It's the worst form of speech.
It derives the worst form of speech. When
you have a group of people who are
all thinking badly of 1 person,
what can you
if betting was halal,
what can you bet your money on?
That there's going to be a conversation within
that group of people that will revolve around
that assumption for hours
for hours.
How many times have we gotten caught up
in the mix of this?
Right? We all have a problem with that
one guy.
So me and the guys are gonna meet
up tonight at 9 o'clock, and, oh, yeah.
We're just gonna go out to dinner.
No problem.
But what happens for 2 hours during that
dinner? Man, that dude, bro, like,
can you I can't believe this guy, bro.
He's, like, getting on my nerves now.
And, initially, it may begin as, like, let's
figure out how to solve this. Right?
And then, unfortunately,
it never stops there.
It never stops there because, you know, we'll
talk about this inshallah because a lot of
people, they begin with this intention of, yeah.
Yeah. I'm just doing this because, you know,
we're trying to figure this this issue out.
But the issue is, what happens? Where's the
line between trying to solve a sincere problem
and where it now kind of dabbles into
just mindless and pointless
bashing on a human being without any remorse
whatsoever?
You were discussing
maybe
this person's a little bit rude.
And then all of a sudden, 30 minutes
later, you are trashing his entire family. Habibi,
what does his family have to do with
it?
Now not not not only are you speaking
about, you know, the the the issue at
hand, you're talking about the way the guy's
face looks.
You're like, what? Like,
what happened here? Where do we get where
do we get here? From that, how did
he get over here?
But you see,
this is why, you know, the prophet, he
says that Shaytan
runs through the veins of people.
Right? Shaitan runs through the veins of people,
meaning that, you know, he's constantly constantly trying.
Any chance he gets?
Any chance he gets? And we'll talk about
this when we talk about a little bit
of the the the ways to remedy this.
We'll talk about how to repel Shaitan when
those moments take place. Okay? So he says
do not spy on one another. Now some
of the they actually talk a little bit
about this. What is
what does that mean? So
means
in Arabic, it means
harboring ill intentions and spying
with the intent to expose based off of
those ill intentions.
Okay.
Harboring ill intent
and spying
with the base of that ill intent. Right?
Because sometimes and I'll and we'll cover this
because another hadith of the prophet he says
Okay. He says
Okay. He says, and don't commit to hassas.
So what is that? What is Tahaasasu?
Tahaasasu
is
inquiring
with what you've convinced yourself is a good
reason.
Okay? Look. You're curious.
I just wanna know more about this person.
Right? No harm. No foul. Right? Just wanting
to learn more about him or her. What
do they do? What do they like? Right?
And the person almost convinces themselves that, yeah.
I have good reason to do this. Right?
I'm not doing to justice.
Relax. Like, I don't hate the guy. I'm
just curious.
I don't hate this girl. I'm just curious
to see what she really is like. Right?
And the prophet
he says, stay away from both. Why?
And
he says,
and do not hate each other nor commit
and be brothers with one another. And this
is why there was a very, very famous
statement where
a scholar one time he said that
means to, like, actively go out, like, actively
go out. Like, a person who's a person
who's guilty of
is a person who's, like, actively going out
there looking for faults in people. Like, it
takes a degree of, like,
wrongfulness
to to to have that personality
where you're quite literally waiting in the corner.
It's like, you know, I know Faiyze over
here is a good guy. But my it
was like Faiyze is, like, watching me, right,
from, like, 50 feet away, and he's waiting.
He's just waiting for a minute for me
to mess up or slip up or say
one thing and then blast it on a
group chat. Right? Just waiting for that moment.
The intention is
to get that person to mess up,
to get that person to slip up. Now
if anybody
struggles
with that disease
of wanting a person's demise,
oh, we have to ask ourselves who we
really are.
We have to ask ourselves who we really
are,
that we are praying for the downfall of
people.
Oh, I can't wait till that person messes
up.
Oh, I bet they won't mess up. Oh,
just wait till they mess up. I'm gonna
I'm gonna get them.
You're just waiting for them to do it.
Right? It's almost like the people who are,
like, watching you in prayer. Right?
Like, brother, shouldn't you be praying? Like, why
are you focusing on my prayer more than
yours?
There's certain people who just are waiting for
somebody to mess up. That's Tejasus.
Okay? And then the scholar, he says,
Tejasus
or tahasus
means
listening to people
when they are talking
or
engaging with one another
without their permission.
Like, you might not have ill intent,
but, man, you just love the drama.
You just love it.
You can't get enough chai from so you
gotta spill a little bit of it everywhere
you go.
You gotta grab some tea everywhere you go
because you just can't get your fix of
it.
And
is interesting because a person can convince themselves
that, like, no, man. This is just who
I am. My ears are just like a
fox. You know? Like, I can't help it.
I just hear things. Like no. No. No.
Turn
the ears off.
You know,
I'll I'll share something that's very, you know,
kind of you know, it's personal to me.
In our office inside of roots, you know
when myself and
Murphy or meeting with people meeting with community
members,
We have other, you know, staff members that
work with us, brother Momen, sister Sundas, and
other people.
And the moment that a sensitive conversation comes
up,
you know, they actually turn on. We have
a white noise machine
in the office.
Just
press it, and all you hear is like
a baby sleeping.
It's like what it sounds like for, like,
30 minutes straight.
And,
you know, I and for a long time,
I was like, oh, no. It's okay. You
know, it's not a big deal
Until they're they no. No. They're I don't
even wanna give myself a chance.
I don't wanna give myself a chance, man.
Shaitan is already so so clever in the
way that he convinces humanity to fall into
wrongfulness
that I don't need to help him in
any way whatsoever.
So if there's, like, a conversation that's going
on around us that's
remotely kind of, like, piquing my interest, and
I know I have no business listening to
it. I it is up to me now
to get up and walk away.
Because I know I might hear something that's
just gonna get me deeper and deeper into
this into this ditch,
and I don't want to.
I have to tell myself I don't want
to. You know, those people that are like,
drama just always follows me around. I have
no idea how it happens.
Just don't get it.
Every friend group that I go to, just
drama.
I'm like,
I'm just gonna put, like, a 3rd person
camera on you and allow you to watch
yourself in real time. Right?
There has to be a moment where a
person realizes that it's not around me. It
is me.
It doesn't follow me. I follow me. Right?
I'm the person who's
following in my footsteps.
So Okay? So he says, do not,
spy on one another, especially looking for people's
faults
looking for people's faults. And there are so
many stories about how, you know,
when Allah
hides a person's sins, there is no right
that a human being has to resurface those
sins back.
That Allah Ta'ala is the one who actually
mitigated it and and and and and and
pushed it into privacy.
There's no right that a person has to
resurface that. Okay? And then
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, he mentions here, he
says,
after
he says,
Now this is where it gets like you
gotta, like, pull up your sleeves a little
bit. This is, like, really, really deep now.
He says,
and do not
sorry? Sorry?
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Thank you for the correction.
So he says,
and
do not backbite on one another
because all of these things, they lead to
one another.
Right?
Right? The evil, the bad thoughts you have
from somebody, And then
and then you began to look for their
faults. What does it lead to?
It leads to a person now completing the
circle, which is now officially allowing those words
to escape their lips.
Right? It's almost like poetic. It's almost like
a story. It began with this. It grew
into this, and now it became this, which
is now almost uncontrollable.
Okay?
Do not allow it to get to that
stage.
And here particularly,
you know, the prophet, sallallahu alaihi, sallam, one
time was asked, because everybody has that question.
Like, what is backbiting? Because I know after
the session's over, I'm gonna have, like, 10
people come up to me, like, well, you
know, this one time I was sitting with
a friend,
and we said this and this. Was that
backbiting? You're like, is that okay? I mean,
that person did this. Now listen to this
hadith very, very carefully. Because somebody asked the
prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam, this is Abu Dawood,
said that Abu Harira radiAllahu an said, it
was asked of the prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam.
He said, you know, what, You Rasoolallah, what
is backbiting? Oh, messenger of Allah, what is
backbiting? And the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam, he
says,
He
says that you mentioned something about your brother
or sister that
they do not like.
You mentioned something about them that they don't
like.
Okay. Now notice,
did the prophet
in this hadith mention whether it was something
good or something bad?
Didn't specify
did not specify, he said, mentioning your brother
or sister in a way that they would
not like
okay
and
he was asked
to follow-up.
He also a lot.
What if my brother or sister was exactly
what I mentioned?
Like, what if he or she was exactly
as I said that they were?
And then the prophet, salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
he says,
He says that if he was exactly as
you mentioned, you committed exactly what backbiting is.
And if he was not, meaning that you
lied about it,
what you said was not true, it was
false,
then you have
committed something that's even worse, and it's what
we call slander.
Right? Not only talking about somebody,
but now talking about somebody in a way
that is absolutely
false. Okay?
So let's talk about this for a second.
I want this is gonna be a really
cool exercise because it's gonna help us, inshallah,
understand a little bit. I'm gonna pause for
a second. I'm gonna ask everyone, and this
is gonna be a really great exercise.
Since the prophet, he said,
it is mentioning something about your brother or
sister that they do not like.
In what way
can backbiting
be something
that you mentioned that is actually positive about
a person?
Think of a scenario.
How's that possible? Because when we think of
backbiting, we think of negativity.
We think things that are bad. But the
prophet didn't say
things that are negative because that's now slander,
Namima.
But he said that backbiting,
is talking about somebody
in a way that they would not like
that you said that. So I'm gonna pause
for literally, like, 2 to 3 minutes. I'm
gonna give you guys a chance, Inshallah, talk
to the person next to you, and I
want you to come up with an example
or reflect on a time in your life
where this was actually something that was relevant,
where it was backbiting. It wasn't actually about
something that was false,
and it was still considered backbiting or that
person did not appreciate it. Okay? Go ahead.
Talk to each other.
Alright. Let's hear some thoughts
What do we got?
Alright. How can,
yeah. So how can, like,
backbiting,
you know, involve speaking about a person,
even if it's not false,
but how can it involve even talking about
a person in a way that they wouldn't
like? An example, you had in the back?
Yeah. Go for it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Right? Like, very, very good
example. Right? Even even being mindful of the
way that we choose to, like, describe people.
Right? Oh, like, what does that what does
that person look like? Oh, yeah, man. Like,
they're, like,
kinda short.
It's like, you know and so how do
I it might not, you know, it might
not be a big deal because you're almost
using it as, like, a qualifier of, like,
height. Right? It's not like a dig.
But perhaps, you know, maybe that person
would feel a little bit, you know, a
little bit hurt
that that's the first thing you thought of
them. I mean, I mean, I don't know.
Right? This is like
again, it also really teaches you a depth
of sensitivity, man. Like, you know, sensitivity training,
right, that you're able to pick up and
be aware of things that certain people may
actually not want you to say or want
you to, you know, even, you know, I
I guess, suggest
about them. Right? Very good. Very, very good.
Anybody else?
Yes?
Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'll give you
a prime example.
Man. They got real nice clothes.
Right?
You you you you see? You see the
difference you see the difference in the way
that a person says it. Oh,
They got really nice clothes.
Man. Real nice clothes.
You know, like,
man, Allah has given the human being the
fluctuation
ability that he has not given any other,
like, creation on earth.
The way that we just say things. Right?
One suggests
Right? Another suggests.
You understand?
So it's so interesting that she mentions
even the tone. Right? The the tone of
usage of certain words. Right? Very good. Anybody
else? Yes. I think,
just sharing
facts about people that they necessarily don't want
out there. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
Absolutely. I mean, this happens all the time
with people's private, you know, like, announcements that
they choose to make. Right?
One person they told in privacy and confidentiality,
and then all of a sudden, masha'Allah, the
entire Ummah is aware of this news. And
we have no idea where it started from.
It's like a really bad episode of The
Office. Right? Like, where did it start? We
have to track it back.
So.
Right? You know, I and it's scary how
how fast, you know, news travels. Yeah. Anybody
else wanna share? Yes. Go
ahead.
Yeah. Yeah.
Mhmm.
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah. Can I give you guys a pro
tip just as an older brother? Just and
try to downplay everything that you have.
Not in, like, an ungrateful way. I'm talking
about in a very, very humble way.
Right? Somebody asks you, oh, like, what do
you drive? Alhamdulillah. You know?
Just gets me from point a to point
b.
You know? Like, what what what degree do
you have? There's a part of you that's
been like,
I got a civil I don't know. Whatever.
Like, you know, I have a biomedical engineering
degree. Right? Like, there's a part of you
that wants to shout it.
A part of you is like, you know,
just, you know, science.
You know, like, they're just downplaying it. Right?
I mean, there there there are certain people
who are, like, the opposite of this, where
they're, like, they ask you, like, oh, what
do you do? Oh, it's like the Facebook,
you know, like, the the bio that goes
on forever. You have to scroll.
They're the entrepreneur and the owners of 8
different companies for some reason. How did that
work?
And so so so you wanna be the
opposite of that. Right? Somebody asks you what
you do and you're like, oh, you know,
I go to work.
You know? What do you do? Ah, you
know, stuff here and there. You know, I
just I'm a salesman. Right? Nothing big. You
know? You know, there's a person
I met.
Y'all know the you all know the y'all
know the solo stove? Like, you know, like,
the bonfire pit that's, like, super beautiful and
there for some reason, like, $800?
So one time I was I was in
my masjid, and I actually met one of,
like, the the the high up, like, you
know, he must be, like, a majority shareholder
owner of of Soloisto.
And,
I was at my masjid, and I was
I was giving Chutba. And after it was
over, he came up and introduced himself to
me, and I said, you know, he's like,
oh, I just really enjoyed the Chutba blah
blah blah, that stuff. And I was like,
good. We're all locked up. And he goes
you know, he's like he's like he's like,
yeah. He's like, we should we should, we
should we should hang out sometime. I said,
yeah. For sure, man. I was like, I
live in Carrollton. And
I said, where do you live? Oh, I
live right here in this in this city.
And I was like, okay. I was like,
what do you do? He's like, oh, I
just sell things.
Because I don't know if I wanna be
friends with this guy.
Like, I just I just sell things. I
was like, oh, okay. Like, what do you
what kind of business? He goes, it's really
boring. It's like, you know, I just sell,
like like, you know, like, heaters. I was
like, heaters? Like, what?
He goes he he's like, yeah. Yeah. Just,
you know, like, things that you that you
basically, like, outdoor, like, cookware and stuff like
that. I'm like, this guy's like, he's not
pulling tea. I'm like, come on, man. Just
say the name.
Like, after, like, 5 minutes,
he actually
you know what it It took for me
to say that I love solo stoves for
him to be like, oh, yeah. Like, I
I love him too. And I was like
and and so he then then they came
out randomly, but he tried so hard to
keep it a secret because he doesn't want
he doesn't wanna say it. You know? It's
incredible, man. Like, he just doesn't wanna talk
about it. Doesn't wanna, like, basically shout it.
He doesn't wanna, like, he doesn't wanna exclaim
it, right, like, loudly.
And this is so incredible. You know? And
and I gave this example in a masjid
that I was teaching to some a couple
of weeks
ago about how, like, the example of even,
for example, let's say, you're at, like, a
fundraiser and somebody gives, like, $10,000 privately. You
just happen to see that person. They didn't
even raise their hand. They just wrote out
a check, and you just happened to see
them. And all of a sudden, you're like,
wow. Did you hear this person give $10,000?
That person you know, $10,000. Isn't that crazy?
Wow. Subhanallah. You know, must be really so
generous.
Even though, like, your is
praising them for their generosity,
they may have wanted to keep that between
them and Allah.
They may have wanted to keep that action
between them and Allah.
So even if you saw it, it actually
should not have been publicized by you because
clearly didn't want it to be publicized in
the first place. That's why they did it
so quietly.
Right? So there's an importance to that. There's
an importance to making sure that we adhere
to this lesson, not even in moments that
are just purely evil, like talking badly about
people, but even moments where you talk even
possibly good about people, praising people certain, you
know, sometimes. Oh, wow. Masha'allah. They have a
huge house. Maybe that person doesn't wanna be
known for that.
Maybe their house is quite limited because they
have 7 kids. I don't know. Like but
but but you're out here telling people that
they have a big house because, like, wow,
They must be doing well. No. No. No.
They have 7 they have a huge house
because they quite literally have their kids,
father, mother, mother-in-law, father-in-law, uncle, and all living
in the same house. Like, perhaps that's the
situation that they're in. Right? So we also
be mindful about this. And and and then
Allah and we'll end with this today because
we don't have too much time, but I
wanna get this last last analogy in. He
says here,
Would you like to,
you know, eat from the flesh,
you know,
your dead
brother or sister.
And when a person reads that line of
Quran, they're like, wow. This is appalling. Why
would Allah
mention such a such a terrible scene? Right?
And then he answered it. He says,
No. No. You would hate it. You would
hate it. Let me answer that question for
you. It's like a rhetorical. Right? Like, would
you like to eat the flesh of your
a a a dead brother or sister? No.
You would absolutely hate it. You would run
away from it. So why would you think
about doing something like this? Because the gravity
of the action
is that serious. And I wanted to share
an incredible,
incredible story
that took place in life of the prophet.
So I said, that really illustrates it. I
want everyone to kind of, like, just follow
along because it's really.
And it was it it really, like, shook
me when I read this. So
this hadith,
it
basically comes in the form of
a interaction the prophet had with a man.
And so this man, he came up to
the prophet and he says, you Rasulullah,
I have committed zina.
I've committed adultery.
Admits it. Okay? Just straight says it. No
sort of hesitation.
No, you know,
miscommunication.
No sort of word, you know,
usage that's unclear and he straight said he
goes, I'm guilty of of adultery.
The messenger of Allah
he turned away from him.
And then this man, he continued to repeat
it 4 times after that.
You Rasool Allah, I've committed.
You Rasool Allah.
On the 5th time, the prophet,
he turns to him. He says,
He goes, you've committed?
The 5th time the prophet asked this.
And this man, he says,
Without shadow of a doubt, I've committed Zina.
And then the prophet, he says,
He says, do you understand what is? Like,
do you know what it is? Like, do
you know
what the definition is? And he says,
yes, You Rasool Allah. It's it's the likes
of a person who does something with a
person
that is illegal for them to do that
would be lawful for a husband and a
wife to do. This is what zena is.
And then the prophet, he says,
He goes,
what do you want what do you want
me to do with this?
That's the prophet,
Because what do you want me to do
with the statement that you just gave me?
What do you seek
to accomplish
by telling me this?
And then he says, You Rasool Allah, I
intend that you purify me, You Rasool Allah.
I can't handle the burden of this anymore,
You Rasool Allah. I can't live with this
anymore, You Rasoolah.
And then the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
and just to keep the narration a little
bit more just kind of community friendly, the
prophet then asked a question that was extremely
detailed.
Like and just to kind of give you
just the gist of it, he was making
sure 100%
that this man he knew what the definition
of adultery was
and not just like, oh, you know, we
spend time privately.
Oh, we embraced one another. Oh, you know,
we we talked in a in a in
a in a really flirtatious manner. He said,
no. No. No.
Have you done the actual action of Zena?
And he made sure absolutely
clear.
And he says,
I have done exactly what you have just
said.
And then the prophet,
he says, okay.
Go ahead and follow through with whatever punishment
that he deserves.
And
later on,
the prophet,
he was on a journey,
and he heard 2 people, 2 men.
They were say they were saying to one
another. They were talking to one another. They
said,
have you not seen the man who Allah
had covered his secret,
but his heart could not let him rest
until he was punished for what he had
done?
Have you heard of that story? There's talking
casually.
Just talking with one another. You know, like,
it just happens in the community. Gum shop.
Right? Would you hear, man? Like, did you
hear what that person did? Like, did you
hear what that what happened? Like, can you
believe that, like, he tried to hide it
and it just came out all just talking,
just talking, talking, talking.
And the prophet,
he was with these 2 men,
and he passed by
the corpse
of an animal who had died on the
side of the road.
And he asked
them.
He says,
He goes, where are those 2 people that
I just heard talking about this?
And he says,
He
says,
dismount your animal. He found the 2 of
them. He goes to start eating from this
thing right here. This dead animal right here
on the side of the road.
And they said to the prophet,
how could you say that to us? Like,
why would you say something like that? Like,
why would you tell us to do something
so disgusting?
And then the prophet,
he says,
the backbiting you just committed against your brother
is worse as a meal than what I
just ordered you to do.
And he says,
by the one who's
in whose hand is my soul,
He says,
indeed,
he, the one who you're talking about,
is swimming
in the rivers of paradise
while you talk about him here in this
dunya like this.
How
scary
is that narration?
I wanted to point out a couple of
things
before we get to, like, the actual point.
What's the first thing everyone noticed here when
I was reading out this hadith to you
guys?
That the prophet
quite literally
turned away from a person 4 times when
they admitted to committing adultery.
Turned away. Don't wanna hear about it. What
does that teach you about the prophet, sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam?
What does that teach you?
Anybody?
He does not he is not interested.
He is not interested
in
thinking
badly nor seeking pleasure in exacting punishment on
anybody for doing this thing.
I don't wanna hear about it.
Finally, a person says, no, Yousefahullah, I've done
it. He says,
you've done it.
You have actually committed it? He says,
yeah. He says, do you know what Zina
is?
He says,
I know what it is. It's committing this,
this, this, that that is lawful for a
husband and wife to engage in. He goes,
what do you want me to do with
this? It's like, you know, when when you're
trying to find any wiggle room,
you're trying to find any sliver
of room for a person
to not go through
a difficulty.
The prophet was trying to find any spot.
And then finally, he said, yeah, I need
you to give me what I am owed,
which is punishment for what I've done. I
cannot live with myself,
And
then finally, the prophet he says, okay.
And then when he heard 2 people talking
about him, he says, who are those 2
people? Call them to me.
I want you to take a bite from
this dead
piece of animal that's on the side of
the road. Why would you tell me to
do something like that, You Rasool Allah? Well,
what you just talked about
what you just did talking about your brother
is far worse than you acting out this
action of eating the flesh of a dead
animal right here while your brother is now
in Jannah, and he's swimming in the rivers
of paradise.
I mean, if this is not enough evidence
for us to understand the
gravity
of harm
that can be done
by backbiting,
I don't know what will wake us up.
That the prophet a
defended people
who committed clear
wrong.
He was still on their side. Don't think
that the prophet was, you know, a a
a supporter of you only if you are
a clear cut, clean,
sinless human being. The prophet
was the first defense of a person
who may have been sinful.
I don't wanna punish. I seek no pleasure
in punishing anybody like that.
Number 2 is
make sure that if a person
is guilty of something,
that there is no shadow of a doubt.
How many times do we throw people in
jail just because we get a whiff of
something that they did?
Oh, we're ready to throw that person in
jail and throw the keys away.
Why? Oh, yeah. Because I heard from so
and so that she said such and such.
That's enough?
That's enough to lock them in jail for
a life and throw the keys away and
never talk to them ever again?
Think about how much
how much guilt we put people through
and look at how much verification the prophet
went through before actually acting
who would bring up another person's private
circumstances
and talk about it like it's casual conversation.
Oh, yeah. You wanna do that? It's worse
for you to do that than you eating
the the the the flesh off of a
dead animal on the side of the road.
And I'll end with this inshallah.
There's one time Jabir ibn Abdullah, he said
that we were with the messenger of Allah
salallahu alaihi wasalam, and we heard of or
we smelled a very bad smell that was
carried by the wind to us. And the
prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam, he says,
Do you wanna know what the smell is?
He says
He says this is the smell of people
who make it a habit to speak about
other people casually.
You become
a part of the filth
that you spew
about other people. You start reeking of it.
You start acting like it. It almost is
a part of you.
We ask Allah
to protect us, and we ask
Allah to never allow us to be people
who get caught up in the mix of
this. And so just a couple of thoughts
to end, inshallah. We have a couple of
minutes left. The ways to avoid getting caught
up in this, number 1,
is
always always have
of your brothers and sisters.
These are people who believe in Allah just
like you do. So if you think that
something is not okay for you to do,
you should assume of them that they also
think that it is not okay for them
to do. Even if they it seems like
they are doing certain things that you do
not think are right, give them the good
assumption, the beautiful assumption that maybe I'm actually
seeing this correctly.
Blame your eyes over them and their actions.
Maybe I'm seeing it wrong. Blame yourself.
Blame yourself.
The the the person who is silent is
the person who is saved, the prophet said.
Don't allow your tongue to incriminate
yourself.
Stay silent.
Blame yourself. Blame your eyes. Maybe I haven't
seen this correctly.
Number 2 is
always find
good things
to praise people by.
The problem in our ummah nowadays is that
the good things that we see, we see
10 more bad things in somebody.
Oh, that person prayed Isha. That person also
lied to me last week. That person also
did this last week. This person also did
that last month. I mean, it's so easy
to accumulate the bad that this person did
versus the good that this person did. So
get into the habit of finding the good
in people and praising them for it.
Don't be a person who calls out people
all the time. Don't get used to that.
You'll start labeling yourself the haram police wherever
you go, and I'll tell you one thing,
ain't nobody like you.
Do not be that type of person. The
next thing is
avoid
catch yourself
when you are going through that pipeline.
This the the bad assumptions,
the trying to find faults, and then eventually
backbiting.
There are stages.
Shaitan never works in one step overnight. I
want you guys to know that. This big
misconception is that shaitan just turns a person
evil overnight. That's not how shaitan works. That's
not how shaitan functions. Shaitan knows that if
he is going to get you to commit
things that are evil, he's going to get
you to do it one step at a
time. No one turns evil overnight. No one
goes from praying 5 times a day to
not praying at all in 1 24 hour
period. What happens is he causes you to
miss 1 prayer, then causes you to miss
2 prayers, then 3, then 4, then 5
becomes normal for you. A shaitan causes you
from going to being a person who thinks
good of people to having one small doubt.
And that one small doubt turns into you
now looking for a person who is maybe,
you know, made a mistake, but now you're
looking for their faults. And then it goes
from you looking for their faults to now
you backbiting about every single thing that they
do, and Halas Shaitan has accomplished his goal.
You see that pipeline and how it's so
vivid for us to see?
We have to catch ourselves
in that
journey.
Catch yourself in the earlier stages so it's
not too hard to catch yourself in the
latter stages. And then finally,
always remind yourself that backbiting is not just
about what is bad. Backbiting can even be
things that you think that are good about
other people, but it's just not something that
that person would like to have mentioned about
them behind their back. So, inshallah, all in
all, we ask Allah
to protect us from ever getting caught up
in the mix of backbiting. We ask Allah
to allow us to be protected from thinking
badly of our brothers and sisters. We ask
Allah
to protect us from spying on one another
to seek faults of one another. We ask
Allah
to always wish well upon one another, and
we ask Allah
to have mercy upon us because we are
so faulty in our own lives. We have
so many mistakes in our own lives. We
ask Allah
to pardon us, and we ask Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala to allow us to forgive and
pardon the people around us.
Insha'Allah, we'll,
part ways for Assalatul Isha. Tomorrow is the
poetry night, by the way. If you're interested
in coming to that, I believe we have
a few people already that are gonna be
performing pieces. We have a lot of people
who signed up just to come and attend.
So, we'd love to have you tomorrow. The
RSVP link is on the Root's Instagram page.
We'll see y'all tomorrow.