Stories of Envy and Jealousy

Saad Tasleem

Channel: Saad Tasleem

Episode Notes

None

© Transcript (Experimental)

Disclaimer: Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We rely on volunters to edit. No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:00--> 00:00:01

My dear brothers and sisters,

00:00:03--> 00:00:54

it is part of human nature. It is part of the human being, that when we live in a community, when we live with one another, then it is natural for us to compare ourselves to others. It is natural for us to compare our lives to the lives of others, it is natural for us to compare our possessions what we have, to what other people have, living in the world that we are in today, this is only become even more easier. Because not only do we begin to compare ourselves to others, when we may meet them or see them. But we have the internet, and we have social media. We're constantly seeing what people have and what they're doing what they're up to.

00:00:55--> 00:00:57

And we're constantly comparing ourselves to others.

00:00:58--> 00:01:07

And it would be a great thing, how long we were comparing ourselves to others when it came to their spirituality, when it came to their faith when it came to their email,

00:01:08--> 00:01:11

because that is actually a good thing. And that's something that we should compete in.

00:01:13--> 00:01:31

A long as a data set in canonical mirandola. at Argonne, the most noble of you, meaning the best of you, with Allah are those who have the most taqwa. Those of you who have the most piety, God consciousness. So if we were comparing our TEPCO, there would be a good thing.

00:01:32--> 00:01:44

But it is hard to compare something like spirituality. Because as the prophets, I send them set a tough wahoo natsuko is here, it begins inside, it is the status of our heart.

00:01:46--> 00:02:14

And so instead of comparing Taekwondo, we compare the visuals, possessions, things that people have, we compare looks, how someone looks and how I look, we compare their achievement, because people post their achievements online, I've done this and I've done that, this is where I am, this is what I this is what has happened to me. And we compare that and the problem with that my brothers and sisters, is that it can lead to what is known as envy.

00:02:15--> 00:03:06

Envy is a concept my brothers and sisters, that can be extremely dangerous to our souls, it can be extremely dangerous to our relationship with a loveless pair with Dr. Donna envy, quite simply put, has three factors or three components. Envy is when we are confronted with someone who has something that we don't have. And that's something it can be a possession a material thing it can be a certain quality that they have or it can even be an achievement as I mentioned earlier, so we see someone they have something we don't have it that's the first component The second component is that since we don't have it we desire it for ourselves so and so has this I wish I had it as well. The third

00:03:06--> 00:03:17

component is that we have some negative feelings attached to that meaning we think to ourselves why is it that this person has this and we don't

00:03:19--> 00:03:34

So number one, as we said we see someone who has something that we like number two, we desire that for ourselves we want it to and number three it doesn't stop there. There is some negativity which is attached to it and islamically This concept is known as hesson

00:03:35--> 00:03:42

which is mentioned in the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet so I said that it actually has it goes actually goes a little bit beyond envy because has said

00:03:43--> 00:03:45

adds a fourth component

00:03:46--> 00:03:57

and that is that a person has ill will to the person that they're envious of. So a person thinks to themselves this person does not deserve it they should not have it I should have

00:03:58--> 00:04:09

that they want that a lot takes away whatever that is instead of possession it can be a quality it can be achieved meant that a lot of takes it away from them and I'm the only one who should have

00:04:10--> 00:04:25

this is what we're talking about this is what Allahu Allah has awarded this up. Um yes so doing a NASA Allah ma who was Lomond company that do they have has said the words the people for what Allah has given to them company as bounties.

00:04:26--> 00:04:35

This is what Allah has warned us of this type of hesson having that feeling and this comes my brothers and sisters from comparison.

00:04:36--> 00:04:59

Now why is this dangerous? A lot has given us many temples in the Quran. One of the examples that was given to us is the example of the brothers of use of alayhis salaam. The use of violence from his brothers, they were envious of him. They had hazard of him as long as Pamela tells us his garden. They said the use of a handle in a bean I mean

00:05:00--> 00:05:06

They said us and his brother are more beloved to our father than us.

00:05:07--> 00:05:10

Right? So now they see something that their brother has their brothers have.

00:05:12--> 00:05:15

They want it for themselves. And they said one night,

00:05:16--> 00:05:20

we were like a group of people were a group were strong.

00:05:21--> 00:05:27

They're just an individual one or two. But we're a group. And then they said after that, in

00:05:28--> 00:05:42

the movies, certainly our fathers clearly wrong, is clearly wrong, the two of us have a brother over us. So what is happening here, they're feeling is envy towards us, if I didn't set out with this brother been unique.

00:05:43--> 00:05:53

And now the problem with that remote existence is that it didn't stop there. Many of us know the story. What happens after that is they decide to harm us.

00:05:55--> 00:06:09

And they end up throwing him in a well. And what that what we learned from that is that has it a movie can lead to action, it can begin in the heart, because this is something that we feel will protect us in our hearts.

00:06:10--> 00:06:24

And then eventually, it has an effect that impact on our actions. And a very big lesson here is that, unless we identify and deal with that envy, that jealousy that has said

00:06:25--> 00:06:30

that eventually, it will lead to a bigger problem. And that is taking us taking an action

00:06:31--> 00:07:08

with that enemy. Because one of the ways people deal with envy an unhealthy way to deal with envy, a harmful destructive way to deal with envy is to take the person that one is envious of, and to try and put them down. Or to try even harder with them, as we see in the case of the brothers abusive lady sent out. So oftentimes, when a person is envious of another person, they'll start looking for their flaws. You know, they're actually not that good. You know what they're, you know, the reality of this person, they seem like, you know, they're so smart, and this and that, whatever, but I know the route and they're not talking bad about you.

00:07:10--> 00:07:12

They're looking for flaws, because they want to put them down.

00:07:15--> 00:07:38

Because perhaps, and this happens subconsciously, often person thinks to themselves, if I would have lowered their status, then it will raise my status. Sometimes you will feel if I put someone else down, it makes me feel better. And if you've ever come across a bully or ever dealt with bullying, that's really the essence of boom, is to put someone else down to make oneself feel better, really, that's what it is.

00:07:39--> 00:07:43

A lot of times, bullies often are dealing with acid they're dealing with with envy.

00:07:45--> 00:07:46

We see another example of this.

00:07:48--> 00:07:50

In police, they say upon,

00:07:51--> 00:08:01

so we know what his outcome was. But where did it all begin? Many of our scholars mentioned that the problem with the police that she upon started with the hesson.

00:08:03--> 00:08:15

Because what because it lease was being that was powered, and raised in status, he was the best amongst the team. And a lot allowed him to worship amongst the angels.

00:08:16--> 00:08:26

He lived like that for a long time. We don't know exactly how long but for a long time, he considered himself to be the best. And that alone is probably gonna create them.

00:08:28--> 00:08:34

And we know when the authentic happiness matches, that a lot first created the body of Adam and left the body of Adam for some time.

00:08:36--> 00:08:43

meaning there's no life in the body of Adam. And Eve believes that she upon would go to the body of Adam inspect it,

00:08:44--> 00:08:48

you would go around it, and he would think to himself, why is a luxury than this.

00:08:49--> 00:08:57

And then you would begin this is not part of the Hadees. This is the interpretation of the scholars that he that hazard begin to develop.

00:08:58--> 00:09:04

And it began to fester in him. And what happened he began to look for flaws in others.

00:09:06--> 00:09:13

And the idea was I wasn't mentioned that he recognized that perhaps this is a being of a law that would not have full control over their nerves.

00:09:14--> 00:09:59

And a piece became happy that this is his weakness. Any piece at that point decided in the destruction of other islands. So eventually when he was tested by Allah to access them before Adam islands Salaam, what happened? We know the outcome a lot, order the angels and appease to make sense that before the miners sit down and Allah tells us a Sunday that Mullah couldn't go home tomorrow. All the angels they fell into sex that all of them altogether in the lease, except for the police. And then we hear what happened. What's the problem is stuck about. He was arrogant. What kind of mean and caffeine he became amongst the disbelievers in the locker

00:10:00--> 00:10:09

Like this. And the lesson here is that once again, if the envy the jealousy, the hazard is not controlled is not dealt with in a healthy way,

00:10:10--> 00:10:12

then it can lead to arrogance.

00:10:13--> 00:10:22

That's why buildings are often arrogance, right? They'll put other people down, they have this false sense of, of superiority.

00:10:23--> 00:10:29

These delusions of brand here what psychologists call delusions and Praeger, they think they're better than others.

00:10:30--> 00:10:32

And eventually that leads to hatred.

00:10:34--> 00:10:41

As a police began to hate other ideas, and hate not only other money is sent on, but the children about the money sent out.

00:10:42--> 00:10:48

And this is what we find some how to lock families and communities have been destroyed.

00:10:50--> 00:10:51

Because it person

00:10:52--> 00:11:01

fell tested. They felt envy and jealousy. And instead of dealing with it in a healthy way, in a good way,

00:11:02--> 00:11:13

they dealt with it in a destructive way. They acted upon that envy and jealousy, they began to hate other people. And not only that they begin began to hate people that are associated with that people.

00:11:14--> 00:11:24

How many problems in this world? Forget the world, how many problems in our own know how many problems in our communities in our own families have come about due to

00:11:26--> 00:11:36

due to envy and jealousy. But the problem is my brothers and sisters, it is hard to admit that it is hard for a person to say, you know what, I'm feeling jealous.

00:11:37--> 00:12:12

You know what, I'm feeling envious. But the only way, the only way my brothers and sisters that we can deal with envy in a healthy and a good way is if we first recognize what we are feeling. If we first admit to ourselves, what we're feeling, if we don't admit it to ourselves, we can never go about looking for a solution to that problem. But it is very hard to admit because admitting to ourselves that you know what, I'm jealous of this person, or jealous of them. I'm envious means admitting that we got problems. We got issues.

00:12:14--> 00:12:35

But that is okay, my brothers and sisters, because we're human beings, and we're not expected to be perfect. But we are expected to try our best to deal with those problems. As I said, envy is a human problem. When it's part of our humanity, that we compare ourselves to others. And when we compare ourselves to others, we may feel like we don't match up.

00:12:36--> 00:12:43

It oftentimes it's not just that we we want something that someone has, it's the fact that when they have it, how does that make us feel?

00:12:45--> 00:12:50

Well, sometimes if we're honest with ourselves, it makes me feel inferior when this person has this and I don't.

00:12:51--> 00:12:56

It makes me feel inadequate. That's a hard thing to say it's a hard thing to admit to oneself.

00:12:58--> 00:13:44

But the only way that we can deal with this is if we first are able to be honest with ourselves because no one else can do that for us. You know why? Because no one else has access to our hearts. No one can look into our heart and say you know what? You're envious. You're jealous, you're dealing with has it because this is our heart. No one has access to it. Allah knows and we know and so who is going to fix the hazard? Who is going to deal with the hazard? We are going to deal with it with Allah help. ask Allah subhanaw taala to protect our hearts who has a who are behind this stuff a lot of stuff in demo for over 100 done overnight. I mean are salatu salam O Allah should have been up

00:13:44--> 00:13:45

here What was the name?

00:13:46--> 00:14:14

nemedian I will say the no heavy you know Mohammed or Allah, you will find me to arrange. I want to take this opportunity these last few minutes and tell them to Allah says What about to discuss some healthy ways that we can deal with envy and jealousy and hazard as we spoke about in the first part of this clip, but what are some things that we can do to deal with hazard in a healthy and a good way? Number one,

00:14:15--> 00:14:18

it is very important that when we compare ourselves to others,

00:14:19--> 00:14:22

that we try to take a step back

00:14:23--> 00:14:28

and understand that what someone has, isn't always what it seems.

00:14:29--> 00:14:42

So I'll give an example. Someone says this person has, I don't know this house, or this car or this, whatever it may be. It is important for us to understand that our possessions what we have in this life,

00:14:43--> 00:14:59

can very much be a test for Allah who's Pamela die. So we may desire it for ourselves, not understanding the tests that come along with it. The last time to animate is two very prominent examples in the Quran in number one, Allah

00:15:00--> 00:15:00

The

00:15:01--> 00:15:01

prisoner.

00:15:02--> 00:15:08

Certainly your wealth, and your children are what? They're a fit another test.

00:15:09--> 00:15:24

So before we begin to look at others and say something that they have, we don't have, we see, I wish I had this and why does this person that we don't know the reality of that situation, we all know that what tested them through this, sometimes Allah will grant someone a lot of growth.

00:15:26--> 00:15:28

But this is their test for a lot of parents.

00:15:29--> 00:15:40

And perhaps if a lot gave that to us, we we may not pass that test. And so perhaps it is a level of luck. It is a blessing for a lot that we didn't get that certain blessing.

00:15:41--> 00:15:46

So recognize what Allah has given and the tests that come along with it. Number two,

00:15:47--> 00:15:50

it is important to deal with those negative feelings.

00:15:52--> 00:16:05

How do you deal with negative feelings when we deal with negative feelings by countering them with positive feelings? The prophets have a lot more I think he was sending them he said, with Allah.

00:16:06--> 00:16:08

When I say we are witnessing,

00:16:09--> 00:16:18

now you're a Jew, if a person sees something from their brother, or even within themselves, that they like value theory that

00:16:19--> 00:16:42

they should ask Allah to put butter in it. Now let's compare the two situations. One person says, Oh, this person has this thing, whatever it is that I like, Why don't they have it? they really deserve it. I wish I had it. That's the negativity. The positive precedent is saying is when you see something that someone has, and you like it, as a lot of blessings,

00:16:44--> 00:17:07

as a lot of blessings, and now that is an incredibly powerful thing, because it immediately counters our negativity. And it can be very difficult, that when we see something that someone has it, especially if we're feeling she had been whispering to us, we feel that person doesn't deserve it, and this and that, so on so forth, we say May Allah bless that person. And some of our scholars, even we should add ly increase them alone,

00:17:08--> 00:17:10

give them more than what they have.

00:17:12--> 00:17:22

And that gets rid of that negativity. And it's hard, it is hard really, to go from being envious, jealous to someone to ask them a lot to give them more and to make, give them even more good.

00:17:23--> 00:18:03

But the beauty of that remote assistant is that you know, we know this regard for others, the Indians with the same job for us. We're actually making doctors and making to ourselves also. And so when we immediately our we want to get to a point that we have trained ourselves, that when we begin to recognize those feelings, and that's why earlier I talked about the importance of recognizing those feelings, that we're honest with ourselves, I'm feeling jealous, I'm feeling envious. And if I'm feeling that immediately upon my come to be a doctor, that person will love less than love, bless their house, we say my love was different, whatever it is that we like, we ask a lot to bless

00:18:03--> 00:18:16

them, and to increase them. Number three, last but not least, our brothers and sisters, is gratitude should come thanking Allah Subhana Allah to Allah for what we have.

00:18:17--> 00:18:42

Because we have one of two options when Allah gives us in this life, the life certainly given to every single human being, we can either compare ourselves to those who have more than us. Or we can compare ourselves to those who have less than us. If we compare ourselves to those who have more than us, we're constantly continually going to be unhappy. Because no matter how much a person attains in this life, there's always going to be someone who has more.

00:18:43--> 00:18:54

And so we're gonna go down this rabbit hole that has no end to it, we're gonna find ourselves lost, constantly comparing ourselves to others, because there's always someone who has more.

00:18:56--> 00:19:13

On the other hand, when we compare ourselves to those who have less, it makes us appreciate what Allah has publicly Allah has given to us. And this is why the prophet SAW I said that, he said in the Medina then and this is a true wealth. True richness is the richness of the heart, meaning contentment.

00:19:14--> 00:19:44

The most wealthy person in the world is not the one who has the most wealth is the person who has the most contentment. meaning they're satisfied. And indeed, satisfaction is an incredible blessing and mercy who love intelligence. Because satisfaction means that a person can be satisfied even with the smallest amount a person can say, and hamdulillah I'm so grateful that Allah has given this, the love reminds us of this, what India did that meant a lot he now

00:19:45--> 00:19:59

if you try to count the blessings of Allah, you would not be able to do so. And this is not addressed to just the wealthy. This is addressed to all human beings, meaning even those in difficult situations, if they park

00:20:00--> 00:20:09

Under this and contemplated, if we really thought about the blessing that was given to us, we would find that there are so many things that we would not be able to count all of them.

00:20:10--> 00:20:41

And that in turn when we is grateful to Allah, to Allah that will humble us before Allah who's kind of a data. So we asked a lot of comments. For that she really was a lot of humble that we humble ourselves with everything that was given to us. We ask Allah who's probably to Allah, to make us grateful for the blessings that we have. We ask the lowest common to Allah to purify our hearts, from all of the diseases of hearts, whether it be arrogance, whether it be envy, hatred, has said all of those matters a lot. I mean,

Stories of Envy and Jealousy
19.31MB