Saad Tasleem – Sadness and Depression

			To feel sad, to feel sorrow to feel grief is very normal, to the point where that the prophets
salatu salam, themselves went through tests and trials, and they felt sad at times. And we know in
the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, what is known as chosen, the year of sadness,
where the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam went through a tough time and went through sadness. And it
was a sad time in the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And similarly, other prophets
Yaqoob, Allah said on for example, and his story is, I would say, a really, really powerful story,
where Eliza, which tells us of the sadness that Yahoo Bala Salaam dealt with when he lost his son.
		

			And the thing about the sadness of use of jacobellis salaam was that, you know, we can go through a
sad period in our time in our life, and have to deal with sadness for a certain period of time. But
we look at the life of Yaqub it, Sam, and it was years that jacoba sam went through a sad and tough
time, to the point where jacobellis Sam, out of his sadness,
		

			it tells them tells us, we'll be out, but I know
		

			that his eyes turned white from sadness. for who I am that he almost lost, he lost his eyesight, out
of the sadness that he felt, and his children they say to him, that you will continue to be sad
until you fall ill gravely ill or that you will become destroyed. That is the height of the sadness
of yaku balasana but jacoba ceram response to his children.
		

			He says in a school bus, he was Nicola. He says, most certainly I turned to Allah, I only turn to
Allah in my sadness and my grief my suffering.
		

			Allah him Allah tala moon, and I know from Allah that which you do not know.
		

			And the scholars talk about this second party ayah and they talk about what Yahoo ballet salon new
jacobellis or new were the realities that a Muslim a movement someone who has submitted to the
region understands from amongst these realities, is that now you can differ wha hoo lesson in
navassa, that Allah doesn't burden a soul with more than they can handle. Meaning if I was testing
you, if I was trying you, if I was put you in a situation, rest assured that Allah knows that you
can handle this, and you can come through the situation. jacobellis sam understood in America
		

			that with hardship, comes ease. And amazing things we've had a lot 1500 years before Harvey Dent,
said the night is darkest before the dawn, we have Eliza revealing the ayat that tell us that with
this hardship, we'll find ease and it is close to that hardship. And one of the sayings of the adult
they say couldn't Am I stood up and Bella
		

			and NASA that as the as the test in the trial, the hardship, the more severe it gets, the closer the
help of Eliza gel is that is something that jacobellis
		

			jacobellis understood that in our life, we depend on Eliza and it is through depending on Eliza gel,
and trusting in the Divine Decree of Allah azza wa jal is where we're going to find contentment and
rest in our heart. A Muslim also understands that their life is in a constant state of changing,
meaning we cannot guarantee what will come tomorrow. And the scholars often talk about the three
days. They say in general, our life is three days, we have the day that past us, the day which is
our past, our current day, and the day that might come. And they say that a Muslim understands that
what is past his past, mean, there's nothing you can do about that. And was in the future, we don't
		

			know. Meaning you cannot change the future. You cannot control the future. But what you can work on
is your day right now the day that Allah is his origin has given you the life that Allah has given
you right now and the breath that Allah has given you right now. And this is the perspective of a
Muslim as one of the scholars he said to one of the kings, he said between me and you, there's a
difference of one day because we have both witnessed the last day and you have enjoyed your time and
you have done whatever you had to do. But you've already forgotten the pleasures of your period
previous day. Me and you We both understand that we cannot guarantee tomorrow, but we both have this
		

			day. So the difference between me he said as a scholar and you as a king
		

			Allah has given riches and dominion and so on so forth is this one day.
		

			Also, a Muslim understands that no matter what will be tested in this life, but it is impossible
that we go through this life and will not be tested, meaning it is impossible that someone lives a
life where they face no hardship, they face no tribulations and they face no trials, as Eliza just
says, has he been nurse who is required
		

			to do that? Do the people think that there will be left alone simply because they said we believe
meaning just because you say you're Muslim, or you say you believe it doesn't mean that you're not
going to face trials and hardships in your life, meaning that is a normal part of life. So my
brothers and sisters, Islam has given us tools to deal with with these issues. But one of the things
that I wanted to do today, and
		

			I think this is something which is not really addressed in our communities, and that is the
difference between sadness, the normal sadness, we feel as human beings, and the sadness in which we
require help. When it becomes a problem, that we cannot simply throw slogans at. Whenever we cannot
simply There comes a time, or they may come a time upon someone, if they're dealing with depression
to the point where it becomes clinical depression, our our slogans of telecon Allah have trusted
Allah or saying to them in America,
		

			that won't do much for them. And the problem, my brothers and sisters would go into the person who
has a real problem, meaning they're in a state of depression, where nothing seems to help them. The
problem with going to this person, and giving them general guidelines is that at times, this can
lead to a state of further depression. And the reason is this. The reason is that a person who who's
dealing with depression or sadness is dealing with problems in their life. And they can't seem to
get past that many days and weeks and months go by, and they can't seem to move forward. When
someone comes to them, and tells them
		

			the first half of my talk today and says, Listen, a Muslim believes and understands that you have to
rely upon law, that you have to trust them a law, that in serious law that with hardship comes ease.
That's what you have to do. And the person says, okay, but then they go back to their life. And they
under they start realizing that the Islamic cure for sadness, and depression is not helping them.
And so they begin to feel inadequate, they believe they start believing that there's something wrong
with Islam. And it can lead to further sadness, and further depression.
		

			And we have a problem where in our communities now, there is a there is a general attitude of
closing your eyes to the problem. And I personally believe this happens on on three fronts or three
levels. Number one is the actual individual in the one who is going to two problems in their life.
Because of these general talks that we have on dealing with trials and hardships and stuff like
that, they begin to ignore the problem, they'll shut it off and say, you know, I'll be okay. As long
as I as long as I do the things that my mom told me, I'll be okay. And like I said before, that can
lead to further problems.
		

			Also,
		

			the second level of this is the is the is the close family and friends of this person,
		

			to where the family and friends will tell this person, listen, you'll be okay. Don't worry about it.
All you have to do is rely upon the law.
		

			And once again, because that doesn't seem to do anything for them, it causes further problems. And
then on the community level, we tend to ignore these issues. Meaning if there's Muslims dealing with
these problems, our general attitude seems to be that if there's people dealing with these problems,
that they do not under, understand Islam properly, that there's something wrong with their Eman that
they have to trust in Allah. That's our general attitude.
		

			And we forget that at a point, this will not benefit the person this will do nothing for them.
		

			And a lot of times, when it comes to men, for example, this problem becomes more severe. And I know
we tend to speak about problems and it's rare that people talk about men. But if you look at men in
communities and in our communities in Muslim communities, they you know, if we think a sister is shy
to talk about her problems, and sisters shy to tell someone that she's depressed
		

			Realize that brothers are more shy, brothers are more ish, they feel more ashamed to talk about
their problems. They feel like as a man, you're not supposed to discuss the issues that you're going
through. So for example, if a sister is being abused, she's in an abusive relationship
		

			is hard for her. And I completely understand that. And I completely admit that, yes, for sisters, it
is difficult, it is hard for sisters to come out and say to their community leader or to their email
or to their, the scholar that they look up to that I'm being abused in my relationship. But know
that when it comes to your brother, and if they're in abusive relationship, be a parent or something
like that, it becomes even harder, and they feel a further sense of, of shame. And if we look at
Islam, if you look at our city, our city actually tells us that seeking help, and speaking out about
our problems is a part of our religion, as jacobellis ceram said in them,
		

			he said I complained to ally only complained to Allah and the scholars, when, when looking at these
Ayat of jacobellis.
		

			They tell us that these ions show us that when a person is going through a tough time when they're
grieving, when they feel sad, when they're depressed, that it is important for them to talk is
important for them to tell someone and, and speak about their issues. And if they keep it bottled
up, it can cause further problems. For
		

			us, the people of Victorville, the people of understanding the people of knowledge, the people of
remembrance, US them, if you do not know, this is the guidance of our shittier the prophets of War
II and send them said, in the ones that are done with the law, da,
		

			da, he couldn't be there in the world. For the Dow, the profits of the World Rally and send them
said that Eliza Jen has sent down both the disease and the cure.
		

			And he has made for every disease, a cure. So seek out this treatment, seek out this cure, meaning
this is what our study tells us that we have to take that step. And I like I said, this happens on
three levels. Number one, I hope that by talking here today, I can encourage the individuals who are
dealing with issues, that there's nothing wrong with speaking to someone, if you feel like you're in
a rut, if you're in a place that you simply cannot get past. And understand that no matter no matter
how difficult it may be to talk about this problem right now, no matter how hard it may be to tell
someone or to admit that your life isn't fine and dandy. That just because you have a beard doesn't
		

			mean you don't get depressed. Just because you were head job or you went above or you're considered
a pious Muslim, or a practicing Muslim. That that doesn't all of a sudden shield you from every
single problem that comes across.
		

			It's okay to talk about your problems. And realize that you may be saving face right now you may be
protecting your your reputation or whatever you feel that you have to protect by not talking about
that problem. But that saving face will never equal or will never overcome a life of depression and
hardship that you have to go out you have to seek help. And you know, psychologists often talk about
going to a dentist and it's interesting that sister mentioned the the person who went to a dentist,
they say that when it comes to talking about serious problems when you have to talk about problems
that we're ashamed of. We were dealing with a problem and we need help. They say it's like going to
		

			the dentist, meaning when you think about it.
		

			You don't think about the cure, you don't think about the months or years or whatever time of relief
that going to the dentist will bring what does the average person think about when they go when they
when they think about going to the dentist. They think about the pain that they're going to have in
those 20 or 30 or 40 minutes at the dentist's office. And that's our approach to dealing with our
problems. That's our that's our approach on the individual level is that we fear that that initial
pain, or that embarrassment or whatever, whatever perceived problems we see, we see with seeking
help, and we leave aside a life of contentment and a life of living in peace.
		

			Also, like I mentioned, the second level of God is is our close family and friends where our close
family or friends just like we get diluted into thinking that you know we're supposed to be better,
or there must be something that is wrong with me or that Islam has given us guidelines. So that is
the final answer. Similarly, the family members
		

			can take an attitude of a close friend and say listen, all you have to do is read the Koran. All you
have to do is pray and don't get me wrong. Of course, shifa. Scheffer lies in the hands of Eliza.
And the wiser we may put cure in that one says that you make on that lonely night, Eliza may put the
cure in that may remove all a person's depression and sadness, because of that one says that they
made with sincerity, that's true. But when it comes to an individual who's dealing with a problem
and illness, a sickness, clinical depression, for example, that may not be the answer, they may
actually need help, they actually need to talk to someone. And lastly, like I said, when it comes
		

			to, to our community, and this, you know, I hate to say, but it falls on the shoulders of all of us.
And we, when you think of communities, we tend to think of the moms and we tend to think of
community leaders. But in the end of the day, it is us who make up the community. And it is us who
we have to take the initiative. And we have to bring this to the attention of our leaders and our
Imams and tell them that listen, we have to address these issues. If someone's being abused in the
in the in the in a relationship, we have to address this, we can't turn a blind eye to this, if
someone is dealing with serious depression, we have to deal with this. And this is why I had a low
		

			when i and this is very common. When I get an email from someone telling me that they need some
general Islamic advice, because their friend is having a tough time dealing with some type of
hardship. Or they tell me someone loss someone or they're going through grief in their life. And
they say can you brother, can you just give us some general give me some general advice that I can
convey to my friend, I never, I never, ever, ever give general advice.
		

			Because like I said that can cause more damage and more harm. Because if I give this general advice,
and this person now looks at this advice, and they see that this does nothing for them, they can
begin to feel like there's something permanently wrong with them and give up hope. And that is not
part of our shittier. Islam doesn't tell us Islam looks down upon giving up hope. Islam pushes us to
lead a very balanced life between love and fear and hope. This is the this is the attitude of a
movement. So
		

			to close, I say we have to take the initiative, we have to we have to stand tall, and we have to
take care of our community members and we have to take care of our close family members and we have
to take care of our friends. Because the reality is that yes, the general advice that we give, it's
true, it may work and inshallah it will work for the majority of people because the majority people
are not clinically depressed for example, they're not ill That's true. So it's that's fine. You
know, the general advice of Islam is great and
		

			blessed us with that knowledge. But there are people in our communities that are suffering and who
need help that will not be helped by that general advice. And we have to take the means to solve
these problems and Allah subhana wa tada knows best political llamo behind the shadow line and non
stop for to be like Santa Monica. Mahalo