Saad Tasleem – Between A Rock And A Heart Place – 03 – How to Soften Your Heart

			Okay, so what are some of the things that we can do to cure the hardness of the heart? Or how did
you go about softening our heart? First and foremost, is getting to know
		

			one of the misconceptions that we have is that it's not possible to know God, it's not impossible to
know. Right? This is actually not true at all. Right? We as Muslims, we know a lot. By the way,
Allah has described himself
		

			ways to get to know and love, right, so if you go through the fraud, we'll see a lie. So in
descriptions, a lot is before it was a painting, etc, etc. These are all the these are all this is
how we get to know what the needs and attributes of a soldier. Likewise, if you go through the
sooner, you will find that it's very easy to get to know a lot of soldier, right. And this is an
issue of knowledge, increasing yourself in knowledge, right. If we learn more about our religion, we
will get to know ally xojo. If we studied up on the southern Southern center, we increase our Slavic
knowledge, you'll find that you'll get to know your word. And in the end of the day, a lot of people
		

			claim to have a lot of people say, love, the love of God is great, all this kind of stuff. But the
one who really loves a lot, is the one who has spent time getting to know a lot.
		

			And this is why you find it's very hard to love somebody that you don't know. So if you don't know
somebody, you may like them. But in order to truly love someone, you have to really get to know
them. And that's why I like to look at married couples, for example, when they first get married,
right people like Yeah, I love you. It's all that great that honeymoon phase and all that kind of
stuff. They feel like they really love each other, which Yeah, there is a certain amount of love
that was placed in a newly married couple, however, that love does not compare to the love that a
couple has, after like 30 or 40 years, when they have lived together and they've really gotten to
		

			know each other, they made sacrifices for one another, they've been patient with one another, they
put up with one another. And they know the ins and outs of what other that type of love that exists
after 30 years. That is true love. Right. And obviously, like you said, Allah has the highest
example, if we want to love a lot, we have to really get to know. Right, and that is if that's,
that's if we do that we get to know Otherwise, you'll find that automatically, it will begin to
soften your heart and you will get closer to a lot of soldier. Secondly, as I mentioned, one of the
main issues that causes our heart to get hard is ignoring death. So obviously the cure to that is to
		

			remember death, right? As the process was set up to have them in, as you say increase in remembering
the destroyer of desires is that which is death, right? So making a conscious effort to remind
yourself that you can die. And remind yourself that your life is not permanent. Remind yourself that
you don't actually know when you're going to die. And this is why a lot of people if they think
about the fact, you know knowledge, I usually like to say this election because it kind of makes
things real, right? If you think about the fact that this could be the very last thing you do on
Earth, it will soften your heart. Right. So think about the fact that it will protect us that this
		

			could be the last thing that you're doing. Some there may be maybe someone doesn't make it till
tomorrow. Right? It may be that freedom for myself, this may be the last lecture that I ever gave.
It may be the last time ever come to the mission. Right? A lot. A lot knows, right? I don't know
that. This may be our last week. This may be our last month, right? around as we all know how long.
This is why when somebody usually dies. You know, it's very rare unless somebody has been like sick
or whatever. It's very rare that someone's like, yep, I know what's gonna happen. I was expecting it
to happen on that day. Obviously, nobody says it's always a shock. And why would somebody usually
		

			dies? People always say, Oh, my God is such a shock for me. I was so shocked. Why were you shocked?
Because we don't we just forgot that in the end of the day with a bottle of wine. So identical luck
can take us away at any moment. Right? And this is why the President said that it destroys our
desires, any like unlawful desires that we have, right? If we remember the fact that listen, before
I commit this sin, I could die in like a moment. Right? That's a very powerful thing and then give
up like right when you're in like the throes of a sin. For example, say someone's about to commit a
sin. If they were to simply stop for a moment pause and say, You know what, I could die during this
		

			sit. That's a very powerful thing to get them to stop to stop that sit. right this is why the more
we remember death, the more that will soften our hearts towards a lot of sorta number three.
		

			Building a deep connection with the
		

			right when we begin to abandon the pawn, pawn simply become something that we hear during a move on
or would like we'll play it on there on like the CD player, mp3 player, whatever.
		

			That's all
		

			right. But let's say that's our only exposure to the far right. This is where leading a pathway
eventually will begin to leave off the crown altogether. Right? If we don't have that relationship
with the pond. And by the way, when I say relationship, I don't mean like I said, not just
listening. I mean, listening, paying attention on hearing will allow us to gently say, understand
the means of
		

			contemplating the phone pondering over the
		

			thinking about how the IRS will relate to you as an individual. Right, that's pondering upon, that
is having a relationship with a blog, simply just reading up on once in a while, or just hearing the
words Well, that's not really having a relationship with the blog. Having a relationship means you
spend time with
		

			this man, you sit with the upon, right and you have a relationship with it. Right? You think about
it, you ponder over you think about how these pilots relate to me, what do they have to do with me
as an individual, I think about that, think about the fact that this is a soldier speaking to
mankind. Right? That is what we call having a relationship with the allies have told us.
		

			That is by the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest, right. And the more we recite the four
are, the more you think about the bond, the more we the more relationships we have, the softer our
hearts will become.
		

			Number four, private acts of worship. So these are those acts of worship that nobody else sees. And
one of the best examples of this is getting up in the night and pray. Right. So somebody who wakes
up in the middle of the night, and prays and wakes up the last night of the night, and they pray.
This is a private act of worship. And this is actually very beautiful, because this is an act of
worship, that it is impossible for someone to do it for other than the law. Right? Somebody prays
their regular prayer, especially if they're emotional, or they may be praying to show off, or they
may be praying because people are watching. They may pray is this for that reason, right. But when
		

			you get up in the last third of the night, and there's nobody else around, it's just you. And
		

			at that point, there is no possible way for you to show off. But there's no other reason for you to
be praying this prayer. Right. So now this becomes a private act of worship in which your sincerity
will be at 100%. Right. And the issue of sincerity is actually a very serious issue which deserves
electron the tone, but being sincere in our oxygen mother. That is the type of Riba where your
sincerity is never in question, right? When you get up in the middle of the night, as you went
along, there's nobody else you're only doing this for the sake of luck. Likewise, things like giving
charity and private when nobody has nobody knows, nobody has a single soul knows that you have given
		

			this money in charity. There's no question that your that your intention is pure, that you did it
for the sake of love, because there's nobody, nobody knows. Right? These are the private acts of
work when we when we start to do these acts of worship that are private, right, and it just between
us and a lot. This will also soften the part number five, do our victim is default. Right making the
odds
		

			are one of the things that a lot of people don't realize is that they think there is just to benefit
their union. Right? So they say, oh, gratitude is for me that whatever. But they don't realize is
that simply the act of making go up, increases our ears and softens our hearts. Right, just the fact
that we're calling out a law. Just the fact that we're humbling ourselves to say, oh, law revenue
this or Grammy that this act is an act of humbling yourself in just the act of making your art can
raise your ego. And something he said he said, what he said, is,
		

			in the essence of our
		

			work, this is an issue that a lot of people don't really think about, what are you actually doing
when you make the art? Like, what is the act happening here? What's actually happening here is that
you are saying, oh, a law. I know that I'm weak and you're strong. I know that I'm incapable and
we're capable. And I know that all affairs are with you, you're in control all affairs. And when
you're in this type of state and some spiritual state, this is when you begin to soften your heart
and this
		

			is a brother. Likewise, Victor has the same effect understood. Once again, when a person seeks
forgiveness from above, they're admitting that they required the forgiveness of Allah and simply the
act of admitting that simply admitting that you need a last forgiveness will soften your heart and
really make you closer to homebuyers origin. Number six, think about the blessings of Allah. Right.
And this is this is an exercise that is very easy to do. The only issue is like do we do it or not?
Or how often we do it. And you can actually take like any any portion of your life and start to
think about the blessing level. So even like I mentioned before, you look at just the body, right,
		

			and look at just your own body. Look at your two hands and you realize
		

			What is a blessing from Allah? How would my life be without my two years? Where my eyesight, my
ability to hear, right? Or my ability to think and ponder? All these are blessings from Allah, the
fact that I have food to eat tonight is a blessing from Allah, the fact that somebody is not going
to murder me in childhood, on my way home, right, my house is pretty much safe. I think we all
pretty much live in pretty safe neighborhoods, right by the suburbs. Right? Pretty much Our lives
are pretty safe. Right? Compare, I mean, there's people who live on a daily basis here for the last
couple people in war torn countries and things like that on a daily basis. They don't know whether
		

			they're going to be killed or not, right there know if they're gonna be shot or bond or whatever.
That's how they live their life. The fact that you live your life, where you feel safe, is a
blessing for a lot of soldiers. And the reality is, we're endeavoring to do Nicola de la sua. As
Allah said, If you try to count the blessings of a law, meaning challenge numerators exactly how
they are, you will be incapable of doing so because there are so many, right? But what do we need to
do this, this begins to soften our heart number seven, sitting and being around the right people, as
I mentioned, the opposite of Listen, before sitting around the wrong people sitting around the right
		

			people can soften your heart, simply being around the right types of people can soften your heart.
And one of the tricks of Shabbat is to tell you that, you know, if you're suffering, you're feeling
weak, and I feel like the strongest Muslims strong Muslim, he will tell you, you need time for
yourself, your eyes to get you to isolate yourself, you know, you simply to stay on your home and
stay away from people, right, you need time to think and all that kind of stuff. Because he wants
you to be away from the people who can actually raise your worship under the watch, you know, simply
sitting with people who have by email, simply sitting with people who are righteous and pious,
		

			simply an action of being there, you join absolutely nothing. Just sitting, just that act can raise
your email, can soften your heart, it can bring you closer to allies. And this was very, very
important, who we picked to be around this type of people that we that we sit with the type of
people we spend time we spend a lot of time people they attend like a Friday Night Live lecture,
right? Or any lecture. And they'll spend like an hour, listen to a lecture. And other people watch
out like this gathering, for example, everyone here is here for goodness to listen to a lecture
handed up. So they'll spend like an hour, for example, at a lecture. And they'll go home and be
		

			like, wow, that was amazing. I spent an hour around good people.
		

			But compare that to the amount of hours you spent on the wall people. Right? And if there is like if
there's if it's inconsistent, like if the time that you spend in electric, which is great. But if
it's only one hour compared to like the eight hours you spend around the wall type of people, of
course, it's gonna affect your email, of course, it's going to have an effect on you, of course,
your heart's going to become part, right. So in order to change that, you need to spend time around
the right people, but I'm not. And by the way, I'm not talking about listening to lectures, or
always doing something which is pious, because that's not what I mean. I mean, even like just doing
		

			something which is fun, right? Even just relaxing, but with the right people, right, that can make a
difference. And this is why the process that he said, he said, stay away from spending long amounts
of time speaking, without ever mentioning a lot. Because that makes the hard part, the demos, the
hard. That makes the heart hard, right, sitting around talking for long periods of time, and it was
never mentioned. Right? When you're sitting with the right people,
		

			you will notice that a lot of the mentioned you may be getting this, like you may go out to dinner,
or you may do something fun. But the fact that a lot was mentioned at some point puts vodka in your
gallery. So now the simple act of just hanging out having fun wherever playing basketball, whatever
it is, like I said, it's not about attending a lecture, or going in you're praying or something like
that. I'm talking about just having fun, but having fun with the right people that can soften your
heart and make you a better Muslim.
		

			Number eight, doing things for others, meaning not just doing stuff for yourself. So we live in a
society where it's all about us as an individual, right? That's just the top decide we need to take
care of myself and take care of my own. And that's a
		

			that's one of the tricks as well. Just take care of yourself, make sure you're okay. Right. What is
now tells us is the opposite. And this is why the President said no, you will have
		

			he
		

			he said that none of you truly believe until you love for your brother, would you love for yourself
this idea that I know all of us have heard like we all hear this constantly. And it's one of those
of you that is easy to talk about very difficult to implement. Right? The fact that if you think
about your life
		

			Goals what you want your life wanting that for your brother or your sister. Right. That is how your
Eman becomes proper. Right? If you really want to soften your heart, start doing things for other
people. And he actually evens out. Even psychologists talk about this issue of they say if you want
to live a fulfilling life, right start doing charitable auctions to start doing things for other
people have something Islam's already told us, right that in order to soften our hearts in order for
us to fill our spiritual void, the spiritual void, we have the spiritual sickness that I was talking
about, in the beginning of this lecture, started doing things for other people. Right, start being a
		

			little selfless, start helping other people. So let's say you want something for yourself, think
about the people around you don't have that and be like, I want this for you as well. So that's that
action of living your life in a way where you're serving other people or helping other people doing
things for the sake of other people, I just helping people for no other reason. Right, then just to
get close to a lot. This is an actual will soften your heart. Right? And this is why if you look at
the center, over and over again, our service encourages us to do things for other people, when
they're speeding, other people giving gifts to other people helping other people when a guest comes
		

			your house, taking care of the of the guest, right? All these things involve other people, right.
And that's the type of religion we have, which involves other people serving other people doing
things for other people, and stepping away from always doing things for ourselves. Right, and the
reason why we bought them as soon as because the sooner implementing this is how we obviously soften
our hearts. Number nine, number one, number nine, is taking account taking an account of yourself,
right? Having an honest discussion with yourself about your own life and your lifestyle. Right? The
issue is a lot of us this is the exact opposite of of law.
		

			So the opposite the the opposite of hoffler is to be aware, right? So look at your life and say, you
know, what am I doing to soften my heart? How like for these these 10 things that I'm mentioning
now, how many of these things do I do on a daily basis? For example, right? That is what is known as
massive binary, right? When you take an account for yourself, right? You look at your life and take
a realistic account and say in my life, this is what I did for myself. This is what I do. For
others. This is how much time I spend on the phone. This is how much time is spent doing other
things. This is how much time we spend increasing my knowledge. This is how much time I spend with
		

			God.
		

			Looking at your life, realistically, right? One of the things discussed scholars talk about is self
admonition, right? Being able to tell yourself when you're doing something wrong, is actually a
blessing from Allah, the One who has that capability, right? Because some people will do something
wrong and they'll convince themselves in other models. It's okay, it's okay. Right? The ability to
tell yourself, basically stand up to yourself and tell yourself that this is wrong. This is a
blessing.
		

			Right? And this is something doesn't happen overnight. Something just takes practice. And that leads
to my last point, which is constantly struggling with your knifes, right? Meaning it's not gonna
happen overnight. It's not a quick fix, right? The issue of softening your heart or keeping your
heart soft is not something that's gonna happen in one night. Right? It's something that requires us
to struggle constantly until the day we die. Right. And this is one of the things that another trick
of Chevron is to convince us that either good or bad, right that if it didn't get fixed overnight,
and you're just a bad Muslim, here's the bad person, there's no hope for you. Right, Shannon doesn't
		

			want you to understand that it's about the struggle. It's about living our life. We're constantly
struggling with these issues. We're not like I said before, we're not expected to be perfect. We're
not expected to be the perfect we'll never commit to this. It never does anything wrong. However, we
are expected to struggle. But that is what our life is about struggling with use ups. And the more
we struggle with our ups, the soft, the more we'll be able to soften our arms like
		

			you said, the fastest setups that have
		

			been the most beloved actions to allow are those which are done consistently, even if they're small.
In the end of the day, the difference between a winner and a loser is consistency.
		

			That's not an overnight fix. It is going to it takes time. It takes consistency. Like I said, this
is one of the tricks of trying to convince you that either you're a good Muslim, or bad Muslim,
anyone who's in boundlessness can become a good Muslim if they just take the right steps. And anyone
who is a good Muslim can fall into becoming a bad Muslim and Allah subhanho wa Taala those best
		

			of luck romantic
		

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