Homemade Happiness #8 – Respect and Appreciation

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Riad Ouarzazi

Channel: Riad Ouarzazi

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Episode Transcript

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We love songs or songs so that's

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why but like the others as you were coming up to

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homemade happiness

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and then

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and then what's the hell then we'll have a llama haben

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hello

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hello marhaba

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This is Riyadh Rosie and this is episode number eight

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of

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homemade happiness. I'm just giving a minute or two for some more people to join in sha Allah has to add up at the same time that may fix this

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right?

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Hey, looks like it's live

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right?

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There you go. giver hacker comm How's everyone doing?

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I'm just giving it a minute or two for people to join inshallah and then we will start with session number eight homemade happiness.

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People are kind of slow today.

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Today is Friday.

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All right, today's Friday.

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Yeah.

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Yay, my man Kiko.

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My friend, my man Kiko

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I'm just giving it a minute for those of you who just joined more people to join in Sharla and then we'll start our session number eight

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on the homemade happiness insha Allah hota

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inshallah with that

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and

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today, we're still going to be talking about the language of compassion, but then I will move into something really interesting which is about and I'll share with you some

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some really really golden golden tools on how we could shorten the whole time

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direct and guide our children inshallah, right so this would be family it is a family program, but this particular session, you know, with the choir, but in all the parents to be involved in Sharla husbands, wives, brothers and sisters, on Shabbat to be involved. I'm just giving it a minute again, Marlin boom because some people are taking it slow today joining I don't know what's going on.

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Should be any you know, six o'clock we want me to start so it's a slow start for some reason.

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But people are slowly getting in Sharla All right. So

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yeah.

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San Juan LA. Yeah. ami

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Bert Azmi women fi ve have asked me said

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yeah, Mommy, for

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mother. Oh, mommy. mana country. Daddy. Well, barrhaven Sophia nia. God before he didn't have the best me. Oh, me.

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Yeah, me.

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Bad as me, woman, she

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was me. Send

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me

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Santa Ma. Yeah, me

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All men have asked me

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why men fee the

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me said law. Yeah, me so oh lord up baking learner domon Miki wakulla

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me ami Salah la yeah ami Allah men

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bad as me women fee upon

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me said

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yeah me

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this is just a little intro shallow Tyler waiting for some more people to join so that we can start our program or visit sisters session number eight on homemade happiness homemade happiness inshallah tada

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Alrighty, so you know what I'm just gonna start, people are coming in late so that's I'm sorry, that's their problem but the sessions are always recorded anyway. So inshallah Donna Woodstock Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah brothers and sisters,

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welcome, welcome all of you to the homemade happiness.

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And this is the family program which was started right after the end of time, I asked Allah subhanaw taala to fill our homes with with happiness. So, we talked because we we, we mentioned the fact that this program is for all members of the family, all members of the family, you know, to the sisters, the brothers, the sons, the daughters, wives, the husbands, dads moms, grandmas, granddad's everybody will have a piece in Sharla hood Donna of this pie, you know, as we are discussing and talking to all of them in shallow level data. And so far I have shared with you eight, eight principles, and this is just intro as I always mentioned, you know, in the past that I may not be

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able to solve all you know, you know, like cases and problems that happen that you know, in different houses, but what I can do instead is share with you these principles, inshallah, and these principles or or foundations that if we were to try to abide by them to try to use them to try to apply them in our daily lives at home, in shallow Donna we will have a homemade happiness. So the first principle that I have shared was who worship Allah Xhosa together. This is just again, a quick recapitulation in Sharla, who worship a lot together. That's Principle number one, foundation. Number two, value your family. Always value your family.

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Your family has to come first before anything else. Number three, live with mercy with your family and outside of your family, applying mercy apply the the the you know, with your family, family is a blessing. That's foundation number four family is an AMA from Allah Subhana Allah to Allah blessing. Number five, we talked about the pivotal role of the Father. We spend a lot of time talking about that and about the Father. And number six, the Father, the friends,

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and how can the father be the actual friend? Number seven, we talked about the mothers and the engines for motivation, mothers are the engines for motivations. And number eight, we talked about the language of compassion. That's what we talked about yesterday, mothers and sisters, that language that we need to apply in our homes, with our loved ones. And in fact, not only in our homes, but also outside of our homes. language of a hub, the language of an ABA, the language of love, and compassion, my brothers and sisters. So these were the eight principles I shared with you so far. But as sisters, I gave some examples about Prophet Mohammed as I said, um, you know, Prophet

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Mohammed, with, with my Prophet Mohammed with Abu Mama, Prophet Mohammed with my best, you know, the kids and how before he addresses them, some of the letters, he tells them that he loves them, you know, he shows that language of compassion to them, someone who said, you know, so imagine if you were to use that same language with our families with our loved ones, right. You know, and as I mentioned, if you remember that our children

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They tend to learn by watching more than they learn by listening, right? They learn by watching by watching us and watching our actions. So, you know, you have that key. And the language of compassion is that key, the language of compassion is like Moses stuff. You know Mossad had the staff, you know, the magical stuff that stick that Moosa had right that staff were that he hit the ocean with, and Allah subhanho wa Taala split the ocean ascender. So the language of compassion is the staff of Mossad is set up in a way I needed. This is an analogy, but it is really it's a magical tool to use when you know, not only with our loved ones to use with anybody, you know, you have that

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somehow that that language that key called the language of the language of compassion.

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Brothers and sisters,

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and hope, love.

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You remember I mentioned something during the end of time, about love

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that the Prophet Mohammed has and this is why I said the language of compassion is a saucy herring. It's a magical tool. The Prophet Mohammed that is sought to sit him says,

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either have been hustle either have been through a hole for you, and who you have both in that when a man loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him for the sake of Allah. When his sister loves her sister, she should tell her that he or she loves her for the sake of Allah. It's a bad really it's a bad it's a worship of Allah Xhosa. When you tell one another that you love them just like you say somehow to Allah and hamdulillah that either have a lot lower kebab, right? It's a bad dad. So telling your brother for the sake of audit. I love you for the sake of Allah Xhosa is a better and the Prophet said that for your new shampoo. He tells him you know, it's this is this is

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when you when you move from, from love into affection. Right? Love is a feeling and remember, love is just a feeling but then when you translate that feeling into action, it turns into affection. So you tell you brothers and I mentioned that last time and allies my weakness All right, you don't see me. I don't see you. I'm talking to the air. And I hope I'm talking to your hearts a lot as though God is my witness. And the angels are my witness. I love you all for the sake of Allah subhana wa Tada.

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And this is the purest form of love.

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The purest form of love.

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I don't need nothing from any of you.

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And that's what true love is all about. Love is when you give,

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as that Chinese proverb says there's a Chinese proverb and I like it. They said the happiest people are those who give the most versus those who take the most. I like that. Yeah, although Coronavirus came from China, I forgive them for the sake of Allah. Because they said, the happiest people are those who give the most versus those who take the most, the happiest people. And I love you all for the sake of Allah subhana wa Tada. I like to give

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I don't need nothing back. Nothing back. But this is the true type form of love. Yes, thank you, Laila. And may and second all of you, and Karina, all of you, this is the trauma habit. I've come a habit kartha who for the sake of Allah, and I've got my habit Kathy who for the sake of Allah right? This is the true as I said, purest form of love, right? Yes, this is where when somebody tells you I love you for the sake of Allah Hey yo, oh man, don't get to that system says I'm applying with the shift says I love your sister for the sake of Allah. I need to like this. I love you for the sake of Allah. No man go tell that to your sister to your mother to your wife inshallah Tada, right. So the

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purest form of love the profits awesome says that habit was over a year ago, when a man loves his brother for the sake of Allah, he should tell him that he loves him go do that inshallah. Tada. And this is the language of compassion. This is the language of love that I said that we need to use. Use with your kids use with your loved ones, use with people outside with people aware the language of and help

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the language over the hill. And there's some times people like it

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Amongst Arabs amongst the Arabs sometimes there's these you know like the Lebanese Egyptians they call you heavy, heavy. We Moroccans we don't say that Moroccans we don't say that unless we mean it you just go to a shop from a guy I've never seen before you want to buy something says heavy heavy Hey man don't heavy be me. And this you mean it heavy What do you mean your heavy metal? No, but these guys it's in their culture, right? It's in the culture. There's you know, even amongst the items, the different cultures of Pamela right. So, uh, it is it is it's in Moroccans we're different. Moroccans we see Habibi if we're really happy right? I send Your Habib if I if I don't

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mean Habibi, your Moroccans you won't hear from us. The Egyptians, the Lebanese, the Syrians. They will tell you Yeah.

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Yeah, I need Yeah, I know. Yeah. Oh, my I Oh, my life. Oh, my word. They don't mean it, man. They just met you, like one second ago. And they start telling you all these amazing, beautiful, romantic words. They said, What the heck is going on here, man? This guy's calling me all these beautiful names. I don't know them. I went to a dentist before.

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Oh, man, that's crazy. And then you know, it just I go on to, you know, male doctors. I don't go to female doctors. But this doctor was female. And we just did a check or something. And interesting. Yes. I'm like, What do you need me? She's calling me her life. She's calling me her her world. She's calling me her eyes. And I see a mom to my services. We are going to look at my my teeth. Are you looking at my heart? or What are you looking at now? You know, she's quiet. But that's the culture. The culture is is calling me. Yeah, I'm really open your eyes. Open your mouth. I'm really open your mouth any open your mouth. I mean, oh my

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man. I'm a man. But I can't I can't help it a Yay. I can't help it. Ah, take it easy. I'll take my mother plenty tender go home. I will just let you talk to my to my my my mother.

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I know. Hey, what did you mean?

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That's it. I never went back, you know? So Otherwise, I would bring a shift with Amanda we put it right down. We put their act into the act Nika. And then you can call me Mr. Haney or call you Marty. Oh, I can call you to deliver things. I will just call in right now. And you should have told me I would bring a shift away demand that we don't do it. Right there.

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Oh, hey. But I say this is the key. language of compassion. Yes.

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And brothers and sisters put in the jokes aside, and that was no joke. That was a true thing. Right? That was exactly you know, I was up with the drugs at the site.

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Our love to our children should be unconditional love.

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unconditional.

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You have to love them unconditionally. Right. Well do that. We have to love them and conditionally.

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So

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you tell them that say they may be naughty, they did something wrong. They did something really bad.

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This is not going to decrease anything from my love to you.

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I really truly love you. You are a piece of me.

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Talking to your children. You are a piece of me.

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You are the air that I breathe. Yes, you did that I'm really disappointed. I'm your father and your mom. I truly love you unconditionally.

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But that what you did is really disappointing. Really makes me sad.

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Really makes me sad. But still, I totally totally fully hort Hartley love you.

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Now, remember when I say that it is very critically important to tell your kids that you love them.

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Do that. It's very, very helpful. Not alarma short. Now Marshmallow, there is no conditions in it. And a wish and Sharla once we start talking about husbands and wives Listen to me very well. Once I start talking about husbands and wives, we want that love to be also unconditional.

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We want the same love that we're having with our children. It is

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addition to love, we want the same love and Sharla who together with our children, husbands and wives to be also unconditional love.

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Yes, I am sad.

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You did something really disappointed. I'm really sad. I'm sad that you did not pray today. I'm sad that you that you broke that thing today. I'm sad that you went with that guy, although I told you to stay to be careful, but you did the same, you know, you fell in the same mistake again. I'm really sad and disappointed. But I still love you. I love you.

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I truly, truly do.

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So this is the Have you ever tried writing a love letter to your children? child?

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Have you ever tried those of you who have children, you know, and kids? And then maybe you go into the difficulties with them? Have you ever tried?

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Have you ever tried writing a letter to them sending a message to them, or sending a writing an email to them right? Until telling them about you know, your your feelings towards your kids, and how maybe you were disappointed or maybe you were grateful for whatever they have done or whatnot, but sending that message to them, you know that

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if you have tried so many things that maybe you have not tried writing, try writing a letter to them.

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And maybe people don't write letters nowadays, you know, a long time ago in my time, we used to write letters or we used to write letters.

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And we used to put you know, like the same letter, like on the on the paper on a paper and then you put the you know the some spray spray some some perfume to smell nice missionaries, you send in a letter to your you know, I don't care about and then you put up some lipstick not the man. And then you put lipstick on

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and then you and then you put the letter in an envelope, and then you send it to them and they open the fire

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stick the lipstick smells oh

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come on Stop it, man.

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We used to write those letters long time ago, right, we used to do that a long time it was to write these letters and then spray spray some perfume on that.

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And then I write it out. But now

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and now try if you have any issues with you know something, try there are many methods. It could be if this method did not work, try this other method. But try this writing this writing, you know, it's really beautiful writing to your son or your daughter, you know, and telling them how about you know how you love them? And also maybe if, if

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if

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if you will get disappointed with something that they have done

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then you know, read it to them. It's something that really it leaves it leaves something that heart You know, could be an email right and then they keep those things they keep them they know they really keep them

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text message.

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I also say to the children out there brothers and sisters

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your parents I mean they'd be making mistakes we all making mistakes. We all make mistakes so they're still your parents you know they should be that there's things to your life your parents you know please do remember that yes you may say my father you know he oppressed me or you know he abused me or or this or that whatnot they still aren't your parents

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I walk a walk a walk on walk on walk on walk your mother your mother your mother regardless, you know she broke your heart or whatnot there see your parents and they should be there's a gate in Jenna. There's a gate in Jenna called the gate of the parents, Babylonian, you know the gates of the parents. And we'll talk more about this in shallow data when it comes to talking about the past together because we talked about the mother we talked about the father and I'm going to talk about the parents in general and Shalom. Shalom dad. So my brothers and sisters and please use this beautiful language called the language of love the language of compassion when you're in a home

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Bismillah and sisters that's a father's that's mom's Listen up. Especially that's that's Listen up.

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Girls they need they need

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Zack and Alicia girls they need that love. That love that compassion more.

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Girls, your daughters, your daughters, they need that compassion and that love a lot more. I'm not biased because you may tell me shift your bias. Your bias. This is not fair. You're not just here. We met boys needed to Yes, yes, yes. But girls needed more.

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And I'm going to explain why. But first let me ask you Do you agree with me or disagree with me?

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I'll see if

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I am in Florida, Nadia Nadeem silk 1988.

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Laila,

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yo, yes mean? You agree?

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Don't just agree Because I said so.

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Girls, they need that compassion and that love more, more.

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This is how Allah made the Mona Lisa had if you agree.

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Samia, you have to agree anyways.

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If you are the only girl, I tell you why?

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I tell you why.

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Girls, Subhana Allah, they are and they have I have two girls. May Allah bless you with righteous, you know girls and children, boys.

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Girls, Allah made them

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in such a way they are put clam in a lava. There's like no, there are river, an ocean an ocean of compassion, an ocean of compassion.

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Because she is the nation builder, that girl, she is the nation builder. And if you don't give her that love, as a dad, or a mom, if you don't give her that compassion, she will go and find it somewhere else. And this is why a lot of them sometimes they fall easily. When they're talking to a boy, or some guy who just sends, let's just say beautiful words to them. Right. And just a beautiful word like You look beautiful today.

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I like your smile.

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I like your smile.

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I like your eyes. I just just simple things. These are simple. For me, these are very simple.

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And they will melt easily. But if she is fed, you see if she is fed,

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too much love at home, she won't fall for what that guy is saying. And she will say please respect yourself.

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Please respect yourself right away.

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She will not give that guy a chance to be saying things like that. Because she has hamdulillah her parents especially her dad fills her with love and compassion. And it makes her hear so much that she does not need to hear it from somebody else telling her that she's beautiful. telling her that she's beautiful smile, tell her that she has beautiful eyes tell her that she's this or she's that no, no, no, she hears that from her dad at home all the time. So this guy who's going to try to you know, you know, throw something down, you know, and then like the you know, you know, he's the Fisher right? Tried to fish. She would tell him Hey, you know, we're our professional here. We're

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professional here. We're extending notes or exchanging notes.

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Right? Changing notes are, you know, I'm in this project or in this conference on this net? Please respect yourself.

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Who gave you the right to tell me who I am. I know who I might have done it. And I know who how I look. And I know this, I've only done. I mean, sometimes I mean, not to be rude. Not to be rude. But at the same time.

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Hey, the guys tell me about my look and my beauty and my eyes and my smile and my this and my dad. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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No, respect yourself. But if she, on the other hand at home, she's not getting that love and she's not getting that compassion. Then she will melt.

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She will melt.

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Right she only left and she would like it.

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She would like it. And the girl will start making things and sending her things and whatnot. She would like it

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and she will

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So the dads message to the dads, because the moms they do that, Mashallah, all the time, the dads.

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That language of compassion was talking about,

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right? The language of compassion I was talking about, make sure you shared that with your daughters a lot, of course with your sons, because your sons, they also need to hear that your sons they need also to hear the fact that you love them. You love them. I love you, they need to hear that a lot. The moms, we have no issues to handle and the moms, they tell that to their children all the time, but also they need to hear it from the dads.

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Understand. So this is why the Prophet Mohammed used to say that all the time to his Fatima, please daughter Fatima to, to Xena to

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I mean omocha tune right to his daughter's lokoja.

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And that's why I mentioned that message last time to, you know, to

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single moms. And they said the fact that single mums they need to have some sort of maybe a men in their life for their children. Not necessarily maybe a husband husband would be great, would be great. But maybe the a friend, a good friend, they can you know that they respect a role model, their brother, an uncle, a grandfather, but they need to hear those words. They need to hear those emotions.

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They need to hear them and they need you need to mean them. You have to mean them as well, my brothers and sisters, but it's very important, you know for these to be meant as well.

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So

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and as they said women, the girls, they are the future nation builders. They are the future nation builders. Right. So they need How can she raise a nation if she had no no affection? Imagine what kind of nation she will build. Excuse me here, excuse me. Imagine a woman who grew up and was raised harshly very harsh. She did not hear those. No, but she didn't have that compassion she did. She was raised in an environment with no love and compassion, what kind of nation she would raise.

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But on the other hand, if she was raised with compassion and love, a level a kebab, a river, a river flowing of love and compassion and tenderness, and gentleness.

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So we dads, we need to make a change. We dads we need to change.

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We need to change moms Mashallah I give you all the benefit of the doubt. And so for the dads, but dads, those who don't have difficulties showing their their their their true feelings to their children, please your children, they need to hear from you, especially your daughters, especially your daughters. They need to hear how much you love them and they need to hear that every day. You need to hear that every day.

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You understand?

00:33:26--> 00:33:47

So, as I mentioned, this is why Prophet Mohammed as I said, you know, he would kiss poppema, he would have propped him up because she was the little one right? You know, he would kiss her he would hug her. You know when she comes in, he would stand up and give her a hug and give her a kiss on her forehead. Some love letter you send them you know, tell her how much he loved her. How do you suppose to them?

00:33:49--> 00:33:53

So now I want to maybe jump into something else my brothers and sisters

00:33:55--> 00:33:56

How can we

00:33:58--> 00:34:04

as we're talking about raising our children, I'm going to give you some proactive you know

00:34:06--> 00:34:45

mental ways and share with you some proactive ways and and methodologies that you can use with your children in sha Allah who tada right now I can use that with you right now tell you about how can we treat them? How can we discipline them? How can we have a homemade happiness in sha Allah who Tana in our home with our families right now I'm going to share with you take notes if you're not taking notes already. Pull a pen and a paper and shallow to it maybe not book take some notes because I'm going to share with you some methodology is in shambles, some methods, some new ways, new ways and shallow data on that you could use in your homes with your families made me laugh, but first, first,

00:34:46--> 00:35:00

let me check on you. Hmm, Maya, how are you? Fifi Bo, how are you Samia, how are you? shows you how are you? I'm Mujahidin Luna robe. louisana Mariana Mohammed, how how's everybody? How are you?

00:35:00--> 00:35:55

You guys, how are you guys? How's everyone doing? I'm checking on you first and then I will move on inshallah tada I always have to do this. I always have to check out my beloved. Yes mean 5682 I've named Howard hamdulillah medical him alumina can Nadia Nadeem hamdulillah Mariana Mohammed doing great doing Abraham alemannic unhemmed. Shazia 411, call 411 I'm calling 411911, calling Shazia 411. info. SOS nazmi how are you and Shay's type of man Khadija everybody Singler. kingler elisabete Horton hamdulillah. Doing great. Oh man, Mashallah. And now I masala doing great. lomenick unhemmed Laila hey we go good inshallah Shangri La la mina can handler sign up? Oh my god that I have to let

00:35:55--> 00:35:57

you know Kadima.

00:35:58--> 00:36:34

He was The Three Musketeers. The three female musketeers are in town today. Kereama now well, and later, The Three Musketeers they're here sumaiya doing great. nazwa we're in great hamdulillah lama callaham manisa doing great. Mashallah. Mashallah, manisa Mashallah, your recitation today was just top top top top. Yeah, see the rice? Yeah, see the rice? Yeah, see? The rice? Yeah, seeing the rice at four and now hailing all the way from?

00:36:36--> 00:36:37

All the way.

00:36:40--> 00:36:41

From?

00:36:49--> 00:36:57

Exactly. Oh, no, that Oh, go goes you handle all of your great. I'm happy. Yay.

00:36:58--> 00:37:06

All righty. My brothers and sisters, as I checked on all of you making sure all of you are great. If yes, for me to say Matt. Yes.

00:37:14--> 00:37:30

All right. You can add no three. Yes, in the race. He is the he is the shepherd right watching over you guys. All right, the boxing begins right now. My brothers and sisters. How should we treat our children?

00:37:31--> 00:37:33

How should we treat our children?

00:37:36--> 00:37:39

orders? commands.

00:37:40--> 00:37:41

I'm just gonna throw things.

00:37:42--> 00:37:46

This is what we do. A lot of parents do this. You tell me if it's wrong. All right.

00:37:50--> 00:38:34

Number one, parents who give orders and commands. Doo, doo, doo, doo. You know, number one. Number two parents who? adopt another way called refrain from doing this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do that. Don't do this. Don't do that. This is how they educate their children. This is how they educate their children. Either they do do do do number two. Don't don't don't don't. Number three warnings. Oh, if we don't do that, I will do to you do this or do that. Or I warn you if we don't do this, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna break you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

00:38:44--> 00:38:47

So these are the three main methods

00:38:48--> 00:38:58

adopted by a lot of parents. A lot of parents, especially in my age in my time, right? You know, parents do? Don't

00:39:00--> 00:39:03

really we don't. In Morocco, we say.

00:39:04--> 00:39:13

In Morocco, we say this. You know, in Morocco, we say this. You know, that means? Oh man. If you don't do it, I'm gonna cut off your ears.

00:39:18--> 00:39:22

maraca, we say, hey, if we don't, if we don't do, I'm gonna

00:39:24--> 00:39:25

I'm gonna cop your ears.

00:39:30--> 00:39:32

But, but

00:39:33--> 00:39:35

I have something else to propose to you.

00:39:36--> 00:39:38

Because there's more stuff.

00:39:40--> 00:39:46

There's more methodologies that are actually you know, used by people out there. Right?

00:39:49--> 00:39:53

There's another method called blame. Blame.

00:39:54--> 00:39:58

So I'm talking about the bad and then shallow shallow talk about the good. Let's talk about the bad the blame

00:40:00--> 00:40:10

If they do something and then they, they break a glass, they they try to cook something and then they burn it. They try to decide whatever they fail. And then they just

00:40:13--> 00:40:39

what was your brain? damage? No, no, I hate Michelin head. You know, an auto Michelin head? Are you crazy? What was your brain? What was your mind? What were you thinking of? blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blame. They tried. But they failed. They broke something. What were you thinking? What were your eyes? What you're looking? What were you looking? What would you look what you see? Why don't you can you hear? Blame?

00:40:42--> 00:40:50

Number two, there's another method that a lot of people use. It's called provocative advice, provocative advice.

00:40:51--> 00:40:56

I warn you from those guys. Don't hang out with them.

00:40:58--> 00:41:09

If you were to hang out with a guy that will mislead you. I warn you, you know, this that no, this is called provocative advice.

00:41:10--> 00:41:25

There's another method number three cold threats, threats. This is all negatives. Don't use them. I'm telling you what's been used out there by a lot of parents threats, the threatening, you know, if you weren't, if you do this, if you go out

00:41:28--> 00:41:29

the end of time.

00:41:32--> 00:41:34

If you step out

00:41:36--> 00:41:37

the end of time.

00:41:39--> 00:41:42

If you if you take your phone,

00:41:44--> 00:41:54

just say a shadow Allah, Allah, Allah just say, say before I come, because I'm going to kill you. Right? So if you do that, just just make sure how that just makes your head up.

00:41:56--> 00:42:01

Because you're going, you're going up there. threats, threats.

00:42:03--> 00:42:04

There's another method called

00:42:09--> 00:42:19

orders. Do I mentioned this earlier, right? Do this do that Vernon's know that orders, there is another method which is which I can relate to a lot.

00:42:21--> 00:42:24

A lot. My children also the is to relate to this.

00:42:26--> 00:42:36

You think is perfect. Nobody's perfect. There is another method used a lot by a lot of parents cold. It's called lectures, lectures.

00:42:38--> 00:42:52

So here's your father is going to come to because he did something and whatnot. And he's disappointed. He's sad. So he comes, you know, he comes on, he said, Oh, man, this is another another lecture is on the way. Another lecture marhaba mojado.

00:42:53--> 00:42:56

And then he says, When I was your age,

00:42:57--> 00:42:59

when I was your age, I

00:43:00--> 00:43:14

never had the phone. I did not have a phone. I did not even know what a phone was when I was your age. When I was your age. And then you know, it's like, you know, you're in the background. You're playing, you're playing piano. In your background.

00:43:20--> 00:43:22

In the background, you played your play.

00:43:24--> 00:44:08

When I was your age, I didn't have a phone. I never knew what the phone was. When I was your age. My father never gave me money. When I was your age, I didn't have no car. I used to walk to school. miles and miles and miles. I used to walk to school. When I was your age. I didn't I didn't have that that pair of clothes that you have. When I was your age when I was your age. You know, you know, when I came to Canada? You know, when I came to Canada, you know, I worked so hard for me to come to Canada, right? And I used to work very, very hard. My first job I used to do this needs to do that. Right? And when I made my first $5 I was so happy.

00:44:10--> 00:44:12

And that lecture on and on and on and on.

00:44:14--> 00:44:14

Right?

00:44:16--> 00:44:21

That's one method used by a lot of parents. There is another method

00:44:23--> 00:44:46

called comparison. Oh yes. Law parents do this. I used to do it as well. May Allah forgive me. I didn't I know my parents did it with me and all parents do it to each other and isn't that you know, and I did it with my kids and sometimes you can't help it but you say it. Sometimes you can't help it but you say it. You know what it is?

00:44:47--> 00:44:52

You know what it is? You know talking about? Can you guess? Can you guess what it is? A

00:44:54--> 00:44:59

lot of parents use it until today. And sometimes you can't help it but you use it

00:45:00--> 00:45:05

Can you guess the method I'm talking about now? which one I'm talking about now?

00:45:07--> 00:45:08

Huh?

00:45:09--> 00:45:13

Anybody can guess that method that a lot of parents are using today?

00:45:14--> 00:45:23

The kids they hate it. Yes. Comparing I said that in the Met. I think I throw it in the beginning. I forgot. Yes. What do you say? compare our kids they hate it.

00:45:25--> 00:45:40

Look at your look at your cousin. Look how he's dressed. Look how he talks. Look how he look at look at your look at me and the neighbor. Kids look at the neighbor kids. The way she dresses why she's worried. She's definitely not whether she's

00:45:43--> 00:45:46

he's much better than you. He gets A's and you get DS.

00:45:50--> 00:46:07

Remember, oh, and that was one day when I was in primary school. primary or secondary school. I forgot, you know, and I remember either very, very bad, great, very bad grade. You're not. And then my father told me one day, you know the Moroccan way. Moroccan way says. He says, son.

00:46:12--> 00:46:15

He said, he said, Son, son.

00:46:17--> 00:46:19

There's nobody behind you. It just the wall.

00:46:22--> 00:46:29

You know, I was the last in the class. I had the worst grade in the class. Right? The worst grade in the class is the sun.

00:46:31--> 00:46:32

There was nobody behind you just the wall.

00:46:39--> 00:46:42

Hello, y'all good feelin yellow.

00:46:46--> 00:47:01

He says, and he met he knew it. You know? There's nobody. There was nobody behind me except the wall. The I was the last in the class. was the last one that was the worst grade. He's his son. There's nobody behind you except the wall.

00:47:06--> 00:47:15

So comparison, in comparing our kids to their friends, to their neighbors to the cousins, they hate it.

00:47:16--> 00:47:27

Or even to their siblings. Exactly. Not the enemy. Exactly. Which is a mistake. A lot of parents do. You compare your sibling to another sibling? How come

00:47:29--> 00:47:38

he listens How come your sister listens? How come you're Heather she helps with the with the dishes and you don't help with the dishes. How come you this and your dad? How come How come How come

00:47:40--> 00:47:41

they hate it?

00:47:51--> 00:47:52

I want to share with you.

00:47:54--> 00:47:56

I want to share with you.

00:47:57--> 00:47:59

foundation number nine.

00:48:01--> 00:48:20

Right down write down write down write down please. All of you Nadia Nadeem lucerna, omo mucha heda Celestia, Layla Karima. You guys are talking reefy now her Karima you're talking Dutch to me. I don't know what you guys are saying. You know nazwa write down write down this this.

00:48:22--> 00:48:34

foundation number nine. Principle number nine. Write it down. Write it down all of you. Are you guys? Are you guys listening? Are you guys listening to my this is I'm going to share this with you.

00:48:36--> 00:48:37

Write it down.

00:48:38--> 00:48:55

foundation number nine. Principle number nine. I mentioned eight. This is number nine already. So write them down and shallow. Tyler write this one down. I'm going to say remember it write it down. share it with others. All right now thank you so 1998 since 1998, what's your name?

00:48:56--> 00:49:02

You've Got that? Mashallah. You're really good. Well, what's your name since 1998? All right, listen up. Listen up.

00:49:06--> 00:49:10

foundation or Principle number nine.

00:49:11--> 00:49:15

It's called the principle of respect and appreciation.

00:49:17--> 00:49:19

Dads, moms,

00:49:21--> 00:49:25

dads, moms, it's okay. Karima. It's alright. I'm learning Dutch.

00:49:29--> 00:49:30

Write it down.

00:49:32--> 00:49:34

Principle number nine.

00:49:35--> 00:49:43

Principle number nine. The principle it's called the principle of respect and appreciation.

00:49:45--> 00:49:47

respect and appreciation.

00:49:49--> 00:49:50

Right.

00:49:51--> 00:49:53

You have to respect your children.

00:49:54--> 00:49:57

Yes, as a dad, I demand respect.

00:49:58--> 00:50:00

As a dad, I demand respect

00:50:00--> 00:50:00

Expect

00:50:02--> 00:50:19

as a mom you demand respect. But you as a dad especially in money we have to earn that respect. We have to earn it. So foundation number nine you've got to use at home this principle called the principle of appreciation and respect.

00:50:24--> 00:50:30

Look how the Prophet Mohammed sauce them use that. Would you like me to give you some examples on how the Prophet Mohammed used that?

00:50:32--> 00:50:39

Would you like me to give you some examples on how the Prophet used this principle called the principle of respect and appreciation?

00:50:41--> 00:50:42

Right now?

00:50:43--> 00:50:46

Yes, yes. You mean all right. Yes, ma'am. She wants

00:50:49--> 00:50:52

She wants me to use that with her art since 1998 What's your name?

00:50:54--> 00:51:01

I cannot be calling you sick 1998 I call the ashmead her name Layla Shazia. I know their names they know me I know.

00:51:04--> 00:51:05

I call them then.

00:51:06--> 00:51:16

Right I know these guys by name. So here is how I'm giving you some examples on how the Prophet Mohammed also said them use that that concept you know, he used this principle this foundation.

00:51:18--> 00:51:33

Sonia Masha, alright, just a Sony I'm sorry. Oh manisa Oh, you're on manisa You are the mother of money sir. The whole family is in town. So manisa and when he says dad and when he says mom, Mashallah. Oh nice. Okay, cool. manisa Amani says if 1998

00:51:35--> 00:51:55

imagine Prophet Mohammed Al Jazeera. All right. Imagine Prophet Mohammed also sytem Salah while you said he is he is sitting with the Sahaba and what's the habit? We're talking about the grading of the big Sahaba abubaker Abu Bakr, Omar man, you know the Big Sur homies but on his right was a kid

00:51:57--> 00:51:58

on his right was a kid

00:52:01--> 00:52:02

without a boy, okay.

00:52:04--> 00:52:07

So somebody got him some glass of milk or water.

00:52:08--> 00:52:55

And then the Prophet Mohammed wants to you know, share with the Sahaba normally the soon nice to start from the right. Right The sooner is to start from the right and who's on his right, that boy, but on his left were Abu Bakr and Omar, you know the big guys, and then this little boy on his right. Then the Prophet Mohammed out of respect, out of respect, he as the boy he says, Would you allow me to give the ankles first? Look, look at the the death era in Alabama. We'll call it Iran. Iran. I don't know what you call it in order to write in although in English, it's called respect. In Arabic, it's called stlr. Era, right? So the Prophet, despite the age of the boy, he showed

00:52:55--> 00:53:04

respect, he showed respect. He's asked him, would you? Would you allow me to serve the ankles first?

00:53:06--> 00:53:07

To serve the ankles first?

00:53:08--> 00:53:10

Amazing. It sounds like he ignored him.

00:53:13--> 00:53:28

So far, he ignored him he avoided Who cares? You're just a boy. I'm gonna leave you sick. I'm gonna leave Abu Bakar and start with you, boy. No, it's gonna kill him as well. Right? So we Adams copied it from you, you know, although people have

00:53:29--> 00:53:34

always told that joke, right? I always say we all have Sculpey from India, Pakistan, you know, is the opposite. I don't

00:53:36--> 00:53:49

get up Get up, although is derived from, you know from Hindi. And from Arabic. There's no there's love out of the words in it. So a lot of it comes from halaby and from Hindi. So it's a mixture, you know? So, um,

00:53:51--> 00:53:59

so the Prophet Mohammed as the boy out of respect of NTLM he says, Can I start from you know, with the ankles. Look what the boy said.

00:54:01--> 00:54:05

Look what the boy said. Hear me out what the boy said.

00:54:06--> 00:54:07

The boy said

00:54:09--> 00:54:12

laya Rasul Allah, no prophet of Allah No.

00:54:13--> 00:54:46

Learn Filipino cv minca says della Sala, this is my naseeb This is my right and I'm not going to do the you know, to give up my right and my right is to take from you. I don't want to be taken from anybody else I want to take from you. Me on your right, you're gonna give me I will take from you. If it comes from the left is somebody else will give it to me. No Yella sola, I don't want to give up that right I want to take from you. So the Prophet turned to the Sahaba and he said

00:54:48--> 00:54:54

it is his right. It is his right. And he gave him and he says drink first.

00:54:55--> 00:54:59

Look at the boy is a boy but the Prophet respected him.

00:55:00--> 00:55:06

he consulted with him first. Can we start with the ankles first, today with our dads do that

00:55:08--> 00:55:10

today with our dads and moms do that.

00:55:12--> 00:55:13

Maybe not,

00:55:14--> 00:55:21

can not generalize but maybe not. Well, they won't even ask. They won't even ask permission.

00:55:24--> 00:55:34

They will just go and say, Hey, hey, Shane. Uncle first, Uncle first cha cha first, touchy first, right color first.

00:55:35--> 00:55:43

But also Obama showed that respect. So Allah Allahu Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He said,

00:55:46--> 00:55:51

I'll give you another example. I'll give you some more examples of the Prophet Mohammed, Isaiah said,

00:55:52--> 00:55:54

Prophet Mohammed is walking in the streets of Medina.

00:55:55--> 00:56:03

And he's going somewhere, you know, he's busy, he's going somewhere really, really, you know, like, important. And then came to him ajaya little girl, a little girl.

00:56:04--> 00:56:41

She held his hand just yet also Lola, I want you to come with me to the market because I need to buy this and this and that. I need to buy this this and that. Please come with me to the markets. You know, he's had the profits love or I need to sell them he could have said, I'm busy. I'm going I have mothers I have decisions to make. I have decisions to make I have stuff to do I have consultations to go to I have I have I have a prophet of Allah. I'm not going to leave all this thing to come with you to the market. You little girl so that you can buy your your your your your value or your this or that. The Prophet he left everything, and he went with her

00:56:43--> 00:56:45

respect. So Lola Holly who sent him

00:56:49--> 00:56:50

some love love Lola hallucinate.

00:56:53--> 00:57:03

Somebody entered the masjid while the Prophet is standing and giving a lecture kotoba a boy after dimension, a boy is a boy.

00:57:05--> 00:57:07

Yo Mohammed, he says disrespect.

00:57:10--> 00:57:11

Mohammed. He said,

00:57:12--> 00:57:15

Oh, Mohammed. He said

00:57:16--> 00:57:34

to shabari Yes, I am Dini, I'm a strange boy. I'm a strange young man. I came here to ask about my religion. He said, The Prophet looked at me. And he realized how serious I was. He came down from the men, but he took he took a seat. And then he came. And he sat next to me.

00:57:37--> 00:57:50

And he started talking to me talking to me talking to me telling me Do you understand you understand? And they said, Yes, Yes, I understand. Yes. And then once he finished talking to me, then he went back. And then he carried on his hotma Salalah, while you said,

00:57:51--> 00:57:54

some of the low anxiety, some of the love and he said

00:57:59--> 00:58:08

it is subtle, sir. What do we call this, we call it the principle of respect and

00:58:09--> 00:58:10

appreciation.

00:58:12--> 00:58:13

So highlights already an hour.

00:58:15--> 00:58:21

It's the grab is giving me a countdown of one minute and a half.

00:58:22--> 00:58:45

I don't understand how it is already an hour. But I have some more to share with you. I have some more to share some more examples. I have some more methods to share with you. I've got actually because we're talking only about the negatives. Now I want to talk about the the positives. The Prophet Mohammed when he's so a boy, or any sort of Boy, you know,

00:58:46--> 00:59:25

and skinning a sheep, and what did he do something very similar? When did the Prophet do it? So set up the Prophet as a sinner. He, he, he was in the Battle of heiva. And then some kids came and they said they also might we have to go and attack and the Prophet says, No, we should not attack. And then what did the Prophet do after that? Because these kids, they had so much zeal and passion, but the Prophet had to respect that. What did the Prophet do? What did he say? What did the Prophet you know, do to the son to that to that little kid who was you know, who who slaughtered that sheep? And he was trying to skin the sheep? What did the Prophet You know? So suddenly, you know, there's so

00:59:25--> 00:59:42

many things I wanted to share with you, my brothers and sisters. What did the Prophet do when he came to the masjid and he found a spit in by the by the next to the men but by the man but he felt somebody spit in there. He's found the spirit. You know, how did he manage that that situation? How did he react? So listen, you know?

00:59:43--> 00:59:46

It's the ground is giving me 22nd countdown.

00:59:47--> 00:59:59

My brothers and sisters May Allah bless you all. Tomorrow is Saturday Sharla hota. We will carry on tomorrow. Saturday, be it the last episode number 10 is that Camilla hanbok coffee calm Instagram.

01:00:00--> 01:00:05

5432 Sara Monica, our cat summary.

01:00:07--> 01:00:10

Is that Camilla Hello, Facebook. May Allah bless you all.

01:00:12--> 01:00:34

Amazing God to be with you. But it's an hour time out by the Columbia Columbia Law Bless you. We'll see you tomorrow, shall we? Alright, we'll see you tomorrow sha Allah, is that Colombian Mariana is that colloca Nadia is like a lucky color block. All of you there. Thank you so much for joining Kiko Bloomberg. Hello FICO. Is that Kamala Harris?

01:00:35--> 01:00:41

Thank you again. balaclava. Come with co2. Mashallah. We'll see you tomorrow. Alright, y'all.

01:00:44--> 01:00:45

So that might sound muddy.