Omar Usman – 3 Things I Learned from Everyone Communicates Few Connect John Maxwell

In this video I'm sharing 3 things I

learned from the book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

by John Maxwell. Now the basic premise is

basically the title that we all get up

and communicate. We speak, we present, we teach.

Some of us communicate, but some of us

establish a real connection with our audience. Let

me give you an example.

You've got 2 professors.

Now let's say that they're both teaching the

same course, the same curriculum,

the same syllabus, the same textbook, the same

body of knowledge, they're both communicating the same

information over the course of a semester,

yet one professor

has

a line out the door. There's people waiting

to take her course, there's a waiting list,

people can't get in, and the other professor,

the class is empty. People don't want to

take a class with that professor. What's the

difference? The knowledge is the same, the information

is the same, they're both communicating, but only

one is connecting. How does that happen? That's

what we break down in this book. The

first thing that I learned was that communicating

is about putting others first. Now that sounds

really simple, but the reality is that when

we communicate

we oftentimes put ourselves first without realizing it.

When we put ourselves first we can see

a lot of signals. For example, if we're

needy we seek praise. If we are insecure

we seek validation from our speaking. If we

wanna if we're egotistical we wanna be lifted

up, and even if we sometimes communicate out

of responsibility,

we want to be seen as someone of

being, you know, acting in good faith.

The reality is when we get up and

speak, when we communicate, when we present, if

we're thinking about ourselves we're worried about how

do I look, how do I come across,

what are people gonna think about me, what

image will people have, am I gonna get

invited back.

All of these questions and concerns

are reflected back on myself.

Whereas when I put others first, the questions

become more of what's the message, what am

I communicating to the audience, how can I

serve them, how can I be gracious to

them, how can I showcase my gratitude to

them for being able to present to them?

It's a very subtle shift in mindset, but

it has a huge impact.

I have to change my mindset to being

one of someone who's giving to the audience,

not someone who's taking from them.

The audience is primarily concerned with, how can

you help me? What value are you adding

to me? Do you care about me? The

audience is concerned with how you made them

feel. Did you provide value to them? Did

you showcase that you care about them? And

that only comes from being in that mindset

of someone who's giving and serving the audience,

as opposed to what do I get out

of this by presenting? The second thing that

I learned was that intellect is not enough.

I alluded to this in the introduction.

The information that you're conveying

is not enough to connect with someone. We

think that a lot of times if we

lay out information,

we lay out a logical sequence of facts,

that we will somehow persuade an audience to

our way of thinking, will persuade them to

accept whatever messages that we're delivering,

but that doesn't work because we're overestimating

how receptive an audience is. We're thinking more

in terms of what we have to give

them, and we're thinking less about how receptive

they are, what barriers there are to them

accepting that message. You know, someone who's a

very charismatic speaker that's able to connect with

an audience, they recognize that.

They come across as having that unselfish attitude

that lets people feel that connection. We talked

about this a little bit when I shared

3 things I learned from the book Charisma

Myth, which I'll share in the link in

the description down below. In order to connect

see the information,

it has to be there. It's still a

prerequisite. Without the information, you have nothing.

But once the information is there, there has

to be an emotional connection.

It comes from your energy, your passion, your

intensity,

and you're connecting with the audience.

The 3rd lesson I learned from this book

was to find common ground.

Now common ground, again, this is one of

those common sense things, but it's making sure

that you're approaching the audience from the same

framework that they're already in. Do you really

understand

what the audience knows, what they feel, and

what they think? Now a lot of times

miscommunication

happens

because we assume that we already know what

they think. We assume

that we know what mindset they're in, what

framework they're operating out of, and then when

we get up and communicate to them there's

there's some kind it's 2 ships passing in

the night because we're in a different framework

or a different paradigm.

The other mistake that we make is that

sometimes we it's not just assuming that we

know what they want. Another way that miscommunication

happens is that we

don't care to know what they know or

feel or think or we simply we don't

want to know.

Anytime we do this we're dismissing the audience's

concerns

and we're becoming more selfish in our presentation.

Nelson Mandela said that if you talk to

a man in a language that he understands

it goes to his head. But if you

speak in his language it goes to his

heart. And that's the emotional connection that we're

trying to create when we talk about connecting

with someone. Finding that common ground with the

audience is coming to them from the same

framework that they're in, and that willingness

to

maybe put my own biases aside,

and look at things from their perspective, and

come to them from their perspective,

that willingness helps me to find that common

ground,

and that common ground

is the secret to connecting instead of simply

communicating.

That's 3 things I learned from the book

Everyone Communicates.

If you connect, a link to the book

in the description down below. Make sure you

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