When People Keep Letting You Down
Channel: Omar Suleiman
File Size: 17.96MB
Brothers and sisters last week in the first football I spoke about this concept of friends. And I got a comment after from a brother. He said, Well, what if I just don't want any friends? What if I'm just tired of being around people. And at this point in my life, I've been through so many friendships, so many relationships, where I always feel like I'm the one that's giving more, or I always feel like it ends up in some sort of betrayal, someone taking advantage of me. And at this point, I'm just sick of people. And it reminded me instantly of a Hadith of the Prophet sly sentiment that the you Holly to nurse we ask you to another title minella de la johari. to nurse
Well, they asked me to another but the one who mixes with the people and encounters what naturally is some of the hardship that comes when you deal with people is better than the one who shuns the people and does not tolerate what comes from them is not patient with the hardship that comes from them. And that, obviously, is speaking about encountering people and mixing with the people in a healthy way, injecting ersan injecting excellence in spaces that lack excellence, injecting trust in spaces that have been poisoned by betrayal, bringing good language to places where foul language is normal. Bringing Allah's remembrance to places where he is not remembered all of these things, is
what is being spoken about. And obviously, no one tolerated more abuse than the Prophet slice on them, despite who he was it histological slump, right? Nice people generally get taken advantage of honest people generally end up in situations that they regret. And so a question comes up, you know, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? I have gotten to a certain age in my life, and I talk about the innocence of someone who's young. By the time you've gone through enough business partnerships and relationships and friendships, you're just done, you become a very jaded person. And of course with some may loss of hundreds out to help them that's even marriages right betrayal
and marriages and hardship that comes through that and Allah subhanaw taala ease that pain and and allow us to have healthier marriages without betrayal and infidelity and some of the things that people encounter despite doing everything they're supposed to do in a marriage. So it can leave you as a very jaded person. So where do we go from here? And I want to actually reflect on some of the analogies from the Prophet so I summon his companions. And then what that means for something constructive in a few minutes. I found the beautiful narration from avoidable the Allahu taala and call it a direct to NASA what a con la show kaffee he said that I remember living amongst people,
and they were like leaves with no thorns, meaning you walk around and you don't have to worry about something pricking you right I lived amongst honest people, I know what it was like to be in a generation of honest God fearing people. He said false by who shokin now water coffee, and then I saw a change completely. Where there are thorns everywhere. And I don't see just innocent leaves. I'm going to get pricked right and left even if I'm not doing anything he said
in Nakata home NACA Duke, which my translation would be the best thing if you mess with them, they'll mess with you, too. Okay, if you if you if you kind of agitate or if you criticize, or if you give advice, it'll come back towards you as well. Well, interlocutor, home Leia through cook, but the problem is that if you leave people alone, they won't leave you alone.
So you can you know, get in the game, basically. And you can muscle your way through the way that people deal with each other. And you're not going to come out clean, right, they're gonna get right back at you. Even if you're not a lot of them just in general, it's going to be tough. Or even if you leave people alone, they will not leave you alone. Right? You don't get involved in any trouble. You don't do anything to agitate or to aggravate. You just keep to yourself. And still people are going to talk about you. Still people are going to mess with you. Still people are going to make claims about you. You're still going to find yourself in a mess because people have become
collectively Messier. And so they said to us all the time.
Okay, for Keith and Asana, what are we supposed to do when that time comes? Bala to create the home mineral, mineral Rica, the only Fabrica
he said, loan them your name
for a day in which you will be impoverished you'll be in poverty, loan them your name, let them have it. Let them speak about you. Let them say things about you. Let them you know, take shots at you. Let them pick
because there will come a day of poverty and profit slice on dimensions that occur on that those people that have a lot will have such little on the Day of Judgment. Except for those of course who were people of charity.
And goodness in the profit slice I mentioned mufflers a bankrupt person on the Day of Judgment. Some people will show up on the Day of Judgment, with Salah with prayer with fasting with all types of good deeds and it will all go away in front of their eyes because it's a credit card. All these people that you hurts some behalf our shatta Mahadeva had a lot of other they're all gonna line up one by one and take your good deeds until you're left with nothing May Allah subhanaw taala protect us from being amongst them along I mean, and a person says yeah, Allah, I have nothing left. Now you go into debt on the Day of Judgment, people will come and put their sins on you because you have no
more good deeds for them to terrifying situation. So I wonder that well, the Lord was saying to students, he's saying listen, just let them have at it. But know that there will come a day that you'll get it back, it'll be paid back to you. The profit slice of them also spoke to this idea of the quality of people
sort of deteriorating, when he said it his slotless that I'm in the manasu can easily meet a lot of casual, techy, doofy Hahaha, prophesies, and so people are like a set of 100 cameras out of 100 you'll only find one that's good for a journey. If you think about people, you can only rely on one person out of 100. Now of course as time goes on, trust, withers integrity withers people will constantly disappoint you. The point is to be the disappointed and not the disappointing. People will constantly wronged you. The point is to be the one who is Mcdo Nakata, the one who's killed not killing the one who is wrong, not wrongdoing. Because if you wronged someone, your price to pay is
on the Day of Judgment. If you are wrong, that doesn't mean we tolerate an atmosphere of volume an atmosphere of wrongdoing, that doesn't mean that we turn a blind eye to justice until people be patient when they're being wronged. That means that for ourselves in these natural situations, we'd rather be on the side of being harmed rather than harming because Allah subhanaw taala compensates and Allah subhanaw taala prosecutes on the Day of Judgment, right? So you can only find one out of 100 that's suitable for a journey. And it's to the point that they know the amount of the allotted time and when he's talking about the loss of anona the loss of trust in particular over time. He
said there will come a time on this earth. You call in a fee Benny Phu Lamb of Agilent Amina that people will have such a hard time finding a trustworthy person, a person that anona personal trust that they'll start to say, somewhere over there in this city, in this in this town, there's a trustworthy person. So whether it's in business, or whatever it may be like, you go over there, and you'll find someone despite the overall increase in population. There are more Muslims around but they're less trustworthy people. And so you got to go find them. And it becomes it becomes a thing. It becomes a rare,
you know, a rare prize to the one who is able to find someone that's trustworthy. How many times do you engage in business? How many times do you do something with another Muslim and you think Mashallah, this is going to go great. Two years later, you're in front of our offices, asking for help, because that person flipped on you. Right? took advantage of you wronged you. It's sad. It is a very sad situation. And the prophets lysozyme gave us instructions. First and foremost through his own behavior, it is Salatu was Salam. And I want you to think about being jaded how a person can get to a point where they're jaded and just disappointed because they're constantly let down
on a soul loss I'm stood up on a suffer and the profit side Some said look, if I was to tell you people that there is an army coming from the other side, we all know this idea. They'd say, Well of course you're a saw that I mean, we believe you for 40 years. muscle loss my son was there I mean, and he continued to be I mean it his Salatu was Salam throughout the entirety of his life for 40 years. You trusted me for 40 years I helped you out for 40 years I was there for you and then they act like they don't know him you know it's very interesting so Pamela one of my my teachers and sila he said there is not a single narration of the Prophet slice alum reminding individually someone
from the days of ignorance about some good that he did for them
meaning like Hey, remember I remember you you know pointing to someone. I remember when you were going through this I was the one that loaned you money, the profit slice I'm used to get people out of debt. Remember when you were in hardship I was the one that you came in talk to remember when you needed this. I was the one that did this because that total Tito saw the party complementing each other. Don't be that person that negates their charity by what remember when I got to remember this and remember that no, when the prophet SAW some help people he helped them because of who he was not because of who they were. So even after Islam when they turn their backs on him, Do you know how
many nasty secrets the prophets lie some could have probably brought out from those people. You know,
probably could have humiliated Abuja and would not have been some of those people by mentioning some things that he surely knew from the past it is thought to us, you know how he could have put some people down and say, remember when I did this for you or nobody and I was there for you, and everyone's taking their shots at the profit slice on him now, he didn't do it. Why? He said a different standard for himself thought it his thought to Islam, Amana innominate, emmonak prophets lie. Some said, when someone trusts you with something, then fulfill their trust one to one mechanic. Don't betray those who betray you. Don't act in like manner with people that act in a
certain way with you. You need to end that relationship ended. We talked about that last week. But don't become that person. don't justify your own bad behavior by that person's bad behavior towards you. And that's why Subhan Allah, even in the heads off, I mean, I know we say this, but imagine they're trying to kill the profit slice on them. But at the same time, they're storing their amount hours with him, they're storing their trust with him. The same people that are plotting a plot to take him out, have their most precious possessions with him because they know that even in those circumstances, no one's more trustworthy than him. And one of the prophets lie some do that he say,
you know what, since you're kicking me out of Mecca, I'm gonna take this would mean a Medina. No, he leaves enable the Aloha behind and he says, Go return this to this person, go return this to this person, go return this to this person and risk your life in the process, by the way,
because we hold ourselves to a different standard. I'm not going to become like that person. I'm not going to become like that standard. I'm not going to subject myself to that. Or Sula say, some rose above it, not just after it's now. But even before it, it is Salatu was Salam. And that's from his personal hook. And the Prophet slice understands that it's only natural that as time goes on, look, you can you can get to a point where you're just sick of people, where you start to act towards people, even unintentionally, sometimes with a new meanness and a crudeness and a harshness and a suspicion because of what was done to you.
And we learn from the Prophet slicin them that don't punish people with the pain that was inflicted on you. It's not fair. It's not fair. You know, Subhanallah sometimes people become monsters in society. And what's the first excuse especially, you know, if the person fits a certain profile? Well, when they were kids, and this and this happened, that doesn't excuse anything, no one carries the burden of another person. You don't get to inflict pain on someone else because it was inflicted on you. That's not the way that this works. There are ways to seek justice and Islam has mechanisms of justice. We're not a religion that says overlook justice. But at the same time, when there is an
inevitable wrongdoing that has no recourse in this life, we turn to Allah subhana wa tada and we seek it in the next life. So don't punish people with the pain that was inflicted on you also seek to be the difference that you want to see in people around you. When you read the Hadith of the 100. camels tell yourself I'm going to be the one Campbell
I don't just read that and say, yeah, you know, saw the horizontal lines of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and indeed we say that but most people I meet are very messed up people 99 out of 100 right? No, say what does it take to be the one out of the out of the 100 because the prophets lie Some said frequently carnem on mateesah because every generation of my oma has people that that lead the way not just in a bad luck as one character as well. They refuse to succumb to nastiness and the practices and things that have become acceptable amongst the people. They just don't do it. So I'll be the dependable front I'll be the one that's trustworthy, even if that's going to cost me
something of this dunya I'll be that person. But I won't lose my I won't lose my hair after and hopefully I will seek something from the sight of Allah subhana wa tada in the process also Subhana Allah sometimes we penalize people in our lives that come afterwards that may be just as honest as us are better than us we all see ourselves as the good people right? So just make that assumption that if I'm not the person that's wrong wrongdoing and I've been the one that's wrong. Sometimes other people come up and lie in our lives and we don't treat them right because I can't trust again
I don't know if I can love again I don't know if I can move on from this I don't know if I can establish a friendship again and let me say that that is natural What are you waiting for long enough something levels Allah does not burden a person beyond their scope. It is natural that when you've been betrayed when you've been wronged when you've been disappointed when you bit it takes time to build that however don't preclude the possibility or soul loss lie somewhere loving relationship with the unsolved after the betrayal of his own people. That's something and Yes, he's also lost my son and that standard is there but you know what we aim for that standard it's possible
right? A lot took away from the profit slice on them through the process of infocomm this criteria that came with the religion, his uncle's but he got a little Beckett all the time. Right? He got people like sides have been more out that will be a long time. He got others solahart he was
I'm not allowed to put in his path as a result. Also lower your expectations in people as a whole and place your hopes in the reward of Allah subhanho wa Taala
there gonna be times that people are going to let you down we as Muslims, they are gonna be fine.
I mean, that was the argument the, the way that we approach the profit slice on them, I took they I would the profit slice on them on the basis I will never ask people for anything I'm going to try to be the person that helps people I'm going to try to be at the edge didn't really have the upper hand I'm going to try to be the person that puts themselves in a situation where they left lift people up out of their vulnerability. Rather than ending up in too much vulnerability myself, I'm going to try to be a person that helps others that tries to set the standard. Try to not be in that situation where you will have these expectations of people they will disappoint you place your hopes and the
reward from Allah subhanho wa Taala and with the reputation with the saying of with the data, the amount of data and how about particularly reputation and name, he continues, and he says had the Emerald weekend Illa from unsub back oh Shattuck Oh potluck there hula for either for stuffy Rila.
He said, you give your name to Allah subhanaw taala give your give yourself to Allah subhanaw taala give you a reputation give your name to a loss of habitat. So if someone after that comes and they insult you and they say things about you or they hurt you or they whatever it is, give that to Allah subhana wa Tada. Right. Does that mean again that you can tell someone who's being harmed seeking the if you don't know you try to help that person because that's the point right? They shouldn't have to ask for recourse for themselves. You set up systems and Community Systems of justice, where those that are wronged don't have to sit on the sidelines and just look towards the aka Allah will
fill in the gap. But when it's you and a person goes through these inevitable things in life, you know what, I'm gonna leave it to Allah subhanaw taala and the ending of this, either tougher stuff for Allah, if you did wrong, then seek forgiveness from Allah.
don't justify and say everybody's dirty, I'm going to jump into it myself. No. Hold yourself to that higher standard. He does stuff that I love. When you mess up, seek forgiveness from Allah Subhana Allah Allah. May Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us to hold ourselves to a higher standard May Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us to be rewarded on the day of judgment and May Allah Subhana Allah bless us with righteous companions, righteous people in this life that will encourage us to do good and May Allah subhanaw taala allow us to pass through the tests in which our integrity is put on the line. May Allah subhanaw taala allow our Deen and our character to remain intact with whatever it is
that comes towards us in this life, Allah Ameen. akuto kolyada stuff like that and muslimeen First off, he wrote in a hole for Rahim.
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