Omar Suleiman – What’s in a Name and What’s Your Defining Quality

Omar Suleiman

What’s in a name? Sh. Omar Suleiman discusses the etiquette of how we deal with one another from the prohibition of mockery of names outlined in Surat al-Hujaraat to the names we give our children.

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The speakers discuss the concept of backbiting and mockery, which can lead to embarrassment and loss of a person. They also discuss the use of nick resonances to identify people and their qualities, and the importance of dressing up to fit culture. The speakers emphasize the need for strong personalities and affirming one's own good qualities to avoid losing respect. They also discuss the importance of reactivating past practices and expanding one's own good qualities to achieve success in life.

AI: Summary ©

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			We begin by praising Allah, bearing witness that nun has the right to be worshipped or
unconditionally obeyed except for him. We bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as
his final messenger, we asked a lot to send his peace and blessings upon him. Those prophets and
messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside of him and those
that follow in their blasted path until the day of judgment. And we asked a lot to make us amongst
them a lot more. I mean, the brothers and sisters, there's an interesting portion inserted
hoogenraad where Allah is giving us the etiquettes of how we deal with one another. And there are
		
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			the familiar themes that often come up when we're speaking about those injunctions and what kinds of
commands So typically, if you ask someone, to quote sort of 200, or what comes out of that story, or
of that sutra, you'll hear the common themes of not backbiting a loss penalty telling us that after
about a local bar, that we don't back by one another, that we don't spy on one another, that we
don't slander one another, that we don't belittle one another. But there's a very interesting
portion where loss of Hannah Montana starts off immediately after talking about this idea of mockery
as a whole, which is the broader concept that then breaks into the specifics that Allah subhanaw
		
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			taala prohibits us from when Allah says it is common man comesa and Yakumo Hydra min home, what a
nice man, NASA and NASA could not hide our men when when a lost Karnataka says let not one group of
men be little another group of men because they might be better than them. And let not one group of
women belittle another group of women, because they may be better than them. When you belittle
someone or when you mock someone you do. So coming from a place of arrogance, it's a natural
expression that you see that person as beneath you, and ally reminds you that by the way, that
person that you're mocking might actually be better than you, you might be mocking them for a bad
		
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			quality that they actually have. But the good quality that they have, that you don't, or the bad
quality that you have that they don't make them better than you. And you might be putting them down
or you belittle them for something that is not actually shameful, but is a shameful expression of
your own arrogance. So you put them down because of something that they have, that Allah created
them with that's unchangeable, or their race or whatever it may be. Right? These are some of the
reasons why people would mock or their poverty, all of these different things. But Allah says what
attending the zoo and full circle while at an ABA zoo.
		
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			Don't insult each other. And Allah specifically says when at an ABA zoo, do not use nicknames, or
offensive nicknames when referring to one another. Now, typically speaking, this seems a little more
uncommon than backbiting or gossip or things that we're used to using offensive nicknames. And why
is it that a lot of times it would actually put it there. So Central, if you want to know what it
looks like to use cruel nicknames, you just follow the President on Twitter, right? attach a bad
nickname to someone, and it's actually becoming a product of our times, to use a nickname to
describe someone, and to make sure that it sticks. And so if you keep on using that nickname, it
		
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			becomes a mental association that sticks with that person. And a person has a hard time thinking
outside of it.
		
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			Now, if a person uses a quality, a good quality against someone, then they somehow not just dismiss
the person, but they also dismiss that good quality. So for example, someone might be very
charitable, someone might be, you know, someone who has a high standard of morality, someone might
have a lot of high a lot of modesty, but then you use that against them by mocking the good quality,
until the good quality becomes the bad quality. So sometimes nicknames
		
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			can be used in different ways. And I'll explain why I'm talking about this in a minute in sha Allah
tala, but just the outcome, at least where we start from because it would be unjust to the idea to
mention the idea without actually mentioning the direct implications of this verse. First and
foremost, the right amount mentioned that in no situation, do you refer to someone by a quality that
they dislike, unless it is literally, if it is absolutely necessary? It's the only way to actually
identify that person doing that. So there's no apps there's no intention of mocking that person, but
it is a last resort. You've tried every way to refer to that person. And in order to make that
		
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			person known, you have to mention a certain quality of them that they might not like, similar to
backbiting. Vic Rocha Huck be Malhotra
		
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			to backbite means to refer to someone in a way that they don't like. So someone back mics and says
but it's true. It doesn't matter if it's true. That person doesn't like that thing being mentioned
about them. It's how long it falls under the category of liba
		
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			Similar to a nickname or to a reference that you make to a person, you say, you know, the the person
who's, you know, or you do this or this right and the Prophet sly seldom
		
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			mentioned to you shuttle de la hora. And when she did this referring to Sophia out of the 11 how she
didn't have to do this, to refer to her height. But she did that. And I saw the law and he narrates
it, our mother as a lesson for us said that the Prophet slicin, um, said that you have said a word
that if you were to spit it into an ocean, it would pollute it, it would corrupt it, even though
mathcad kalama. She actually didn't say anything. But the Prophet slicin said, that's like a ketema.
That's a word that if you spit it into an ocean, it would corrupt or pollute the entirety of that
body of water, contaminate that entire body of water. So, you know, we should be careful when you're
		
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			talking about someone or referring to someone and you mentioned a physical quality or mentioned
something that's disliked to that person, a personal quality, all of that is included in what are
taboo. But the second one that they're really not mentioned, is mocking someone for a sin that
they've committed by attributing this them to that sin. So it's really interesting because the
prophets lie some warrants. And even if there's a lot of a weakness in the Senate, it's accepted by
all of the scholars, not to mock someone by a sin that they've committed. And that if a person does
that, that they would not die until they commit that same sin, that the effects of that sin would
		
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			come into their own selves or into their own families, but not to Iraq, don't be little, don't
attribute the sin to your brother or your sister and put them down with that sin until it becomes a
part of them. You you identify them with that sin or make them identifiable with that sin. They
might make Toba from that sin. And then you might commit it. Right, so don't call them by their
sins. And then the right amount mentioned like and hustler Busey Rahim, Allah, he said, A Supriya to
mark with the good quality. So how long which we see today? So he said, so for example, when you say
Kareem,
		
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			the generous person, but you don't mean it in a good way, you mean the person who shows off? Or
you're saying you're implying shows off with their cell phone? So you say, Oh, there goes the
ketene. One again, there goes the generous guy again, right? So you're not actually talking about
their generosity or praising it, but you're mocking them to suggest that their good quality is
insincere, that's also under what are taboo.
		
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			And sometimes when people cannot realize the good quality themselves, they make themselves feel
better by saying that those who exhibit those good qualities are not sincere in those good
qualities. So when they saw the apobec colors of the world and the narrowness of the world, they
said, yeah, we know what they're really up to. Because they're people have moral bankruptcy. And so
they assume that everybody else is morally bankrupt. So mocked them for their good quality. That
way, you make the good quality of bad quality and you take it away, you take away any responsibility
for doing it yourself. And that's actually something very prevalent in our political discourse,
		
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			right? That people will be mocked for doing good things, as if it's a bad thing to suggest that
they're extreme and that good quality or insincere in that good quality. And then the last one is
mocking someone. And I find this very important for something of their heritage or something they
don't have any control over. has an embassy man, President bossy Rahim Allah mentioned a very famous
Hadith. And it's very beautiful how the Prophet slicin I'm empowered people when they were mocked.
		
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			Sophia, it'll do lol I know who we mentioned who was mocked for her heights. She's also of Jewish
heritage. Her father was created locked up a Jew. She comes from a Jewish family. She was Jewish
before she became Muslim. And so if you really wanted to poke at her, they called her at bintelli
yehudah, the Jewish girl or the daughter of the Jew, so she came she was in tears. She told the
prophets lie Selim, what was said to her. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to her at a
quality for K factor. punani Haider. Mindy was LG, Mohammed will be held on why me Musa she said you
should respond to them and say how are you better than me? When my husband is Mohammed? My father is
		
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			Aaron Harun and my uncle is Moosa and he was set up with some engineering problems like some as
empowering or no pushback. Don't let them put you down and say, Oh, you're just you know, beat you
down because of your heritage. patata Rahim Allah also said there's an element of a cup of
belittling when it comes to age. This is very interesting.
		
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			When the young mark the elderly or the elderly mocked the youth, the young mark the elderly, as a
means of saying that they're disconnected. The elderly mocked the youth as a means of saying they're
immature and they don't know what they're doing. So the Prophet sly son when he introduced an
apostle, the 11, whoa, to the unsought I bustled the lawn and was that I'm not
		
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			Giving you a way to these kids. It's kids. It's a bunch of little kids, he dismissed them because of
their youth. Likewise, we see some people will use the term uncle Auntie in a derogatory way. Right?
Some uncle some anti, right in a derogatory way. an amendment wasn't you know him Allah, He said
that if you look in the time of the setup, when the elderly would see the youth, they would interact
with the following the young people, the young person would say to the elder, person, subject and he
will hire.
		
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			You are my former runner and good, I can't, I can't live up to your goodness you You are a pioneer,
you're someone that's done so much more hate Suboxone, he will hate and the elderly person would
respond to prefer the young person and say, so back to cubby shelf. But I live longer than you and I
did more sins. So you're pure, more innocent than I am. And that's how you found this respect to
this respectful collaboration. You don't find the profit slice. I'm dismissing the 14 and 15 and 16
year olds when they came to the battles and when they came to the end saying you're just you're too
young, you're small go away. Nor do you find the youth like even above, can you imagine the
		
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			arrogance that even our bustle the low unemployment could have developed. He's 13 years old, and
he's nicknamed hybridoma, the scholar of the oma, a 13. That's a lot to put on a 13 year old kid.
But if an Ibis sleeps at the doorsteps of the Sahaba, gets covered in dust, learning and benefiting
from the elders. And so when you when you dismiss someone and you say it's just that young, one,
that old one that's a form of alcohol, you dismiss them, you push them away. And we wonder why we
don't have youth rising sometimes, right? That because we dismiss them, we say, to young, not yet,
or we dismiss our pioneers and our elders who have done so much in our community. So you know, they
		
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			don't know what they're talking about. They're disconnected. Right? That's a means of dismissing
their height. And so in reality, just like Sofia, just like the one who mocks that the person who
mocks mocks from a place of insecurity, the person who gives nicknames and mockery or dismisses in
that way, dismisses out of their own insecurity, right, I feel threatened or I feel better, or
whatever it is, and I need to push that person away. So this is not this is something that the
prophets lie Selim, prohibited in practice that the poor and speaks about. Now on the other hand of
this is good names and good qualities. And this is a special sinner that we find amongst the
		
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			prophets, why Selim amongst the companions amongst his family, and Subhana Allah, it's actually a
good practice from the Arabs, and generally that some of them would, would would would think about
these things, and that they would name their children or give them nicknames after qualities that
they wanted them to aspire to. I mentioned I'd even be thought of it'll be a lot of times when I
spoke about it on on Tuesday in our series, and I said, I wanted to talk a little bit about as
names.
		
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			This isn't the days of ignorance, he's not doing this from a Sahabi perspective, but it's a
beautiful practice. I thought it wanted to name his children after certain qualities.
		
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			And so when he came back home, and he found that it was born, and it was named assets, Elian, he
didn't like the quality or he didn't find it to be the one that he was looking for in it well the
whole time. And so you look at the way double pilot named his children, pilot, mean someone who has
high aspirations, someone who's aiming higher. He liked unique names with deep meanings. And then he
named his son his second son, Aki. Aki is someone with an elevated intellect a higher intellect. So
he wanted his first son to have high aspirations, his second son to have a high sense of intellect,
so he named him Aki. And then when Jaffa was born, Jaffa means someone who has an elevated it
		
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			actually technically in the Arabic language refers to a cow or an animal that gives extra milk. And
what the Arabs would use Jaffa to describe a person with someone with elevated eloquence. And that's
panela each name that he gave actually ended up fitting the person. So he wanted him to be someone
with an elevated intellect someone with an elevated speech, someone that could that could speak well
that had knowledge, elevated knowledge, and Jafar on the low end who fit the comparison, he lived up
to his name. And then he named Allie Lewis shut off someone with a higher nobility who would be
elevated in his nobility. And what more do you want than a man who the Prophet slicin um, says, who
		
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			I'm in need when I'm in home? He is of me, and I am I am of him raising the shutter of raising the
nobility. And yes, he had daughters too, by the way, very interesting. The names he chose for his
daughters. He chose his first daughter, he named her falcatum fat Lita in the Arabic language means
a bird that spreads her wings wider and hence flies above the
		
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			Rest.
		
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			And then he named his second daughter joumana, which means a gem that is of higher value. And then
he named his third daughter rate law, not vitae. I'm not talking about a food here. But light law.
In the Arabic language. laidlaw's actually means the last of an inventory that makes it of higher
value, meaning when something is about to run out, and there's one more of it, and its value becomes
elevated. So he wanted all of his kids to have that higher name. And the prophets lie Selim, he
celebrated this practice, it's actually something that's often lost, he celebrated the practice of
good names, made it a sooner from this moment to actually give good names and good nicknames and
		
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			good qualities that people actually can live up to. Both individually. And collectively. So we know
the hadith of honorable Cotabato the law, where the son complained about his father. And one of the
complaints was he didn't give me a good name. And that's one of the rights of the law analyst. It's
one of the rights of a child that you give them a good name, right? Nowadays, you just look for
something cute. Something that you can find on a naming website, it has a nice flow to it. It's,
it's just enough to where they're not awkward in school. Right? You know, we we don't want them to
stand up. These are all the exact opposite reasons. For the sin of naming the prophets. I said, I
		
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			mentioned the best of names. massumi, OBE, sallAllahu, wasallam. Mohammed, what he was named in one
had any mentioned, I have a smile it Allah, Abdullah, Abdul Rahman, or Abdullah, Abdullah, the most
beloved of names to Allah being up there, Hannah and Abdullah, US stuck with a smile. With one hand
Ma'am, the most truthful of names, and had it in him Ma'am, the one who plows the field, and then
the one who, who aspires with what has been planted. And this is a signal that should not be lost,
that we named our kids or when we're asked to name you know, for advice on names, but we should
revive this tradition of the actual physical names and please, no one go home and change your name
		
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			or call your parents and say you didn't give me a good name.
		
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			That's lost if you're already named. And unless you have a name that's out, um, it's okay, live by a
quality instead. Right? But it's as soon as we should revive in our community, that we name our
children meaningful names. It's the most ridiculous thing in the world. When you go to the UN and
I'm going to pick a little bit on the Arab world and you say what's the name you say Khadija Fatima
This is Cardenas old name? What does that even mean?
		
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			And you the queen of Jenna's name is old.
		
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			Really, too old. That sounds ancient. These are the people that were supposed to name after. Paul
Han is aware of the low tide and Huma
		
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			Zubaydah has a beautiful name because Paul Han is obeyed are the neighbors of the Prophet slicin.
They're inseparable. They'll handle the Allahu taala as obeyed the law and who says that Paul had
named all of his children after MBA after profits, and I named all of my children after Shahada
after martyrs palace so Patricia is Abu Mohammed as is available the a lot of Thailand who has
Abdullah has obeyed after Abdullah and rejects odawa, after Otto have been the salute and so on so
forth. He said, we we made a pact together he would name his children after the prophets and I would
name my children after the Shahada after the martyrs. And of course, the prophets lie some would
		
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			actually change bad names to good names. Someone came to the Prophet sly Solomon had a bad name, he
immediately changed it to a good name. Or if he didn't like the meaning or if it was pessimistic or
dark. Right, the profit slice on would change it. So for example, I do the Allahu anhu. When Hassan
was born, he is a warrior, so I do the law and who named al Hassan help? He names in war prophets
lie Some said no, no, his name is Hassan, which means good. And then he had for St. And he named him
however again, he named him war and the Prophet's life said no, no, he's saying he's good like
hesson the smaller one who follows the sun and excellence, right because that was his reference and
		
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			that's what they used to name after they used to name after certain things in the prophets lie Selim
said to maintain that good quality, he himself Salalah Han he was seldom a solid, I mean, Muhammad
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the honest one the trustworthy one, right so it phases into qualities
also, what are the qualities that we nicknamed ours our children with that we put as defining
qualities to aspire to for ourselves and so you find the profits Isom gave a name to each of the
each of his close companions as the deep the true form, what a name to live by acidic and farrokh.
Right? The one Amato the law and who distinguishes truth from falsehood, as the law is actually the
		
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			neurons the line of Allah is added on the allowed time to animal the neuron, the possessor of two
lights are phenomenal the alarm, you give them something that's that special, right? The prophets, I
send them implement
		
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			This practice and of course again, Khadija abaa Hera, Fatima. Zahra, Khadija, the pure one Fatima,
the one who had a radiant face the tool the tool is Tibet Sol La heatable. Tila always turned
towards Allah subhana wa Tada. These are the types of things that the prophets lie Selim taught us
to do. And I actually want to extend it beyond the individual. But this is something we do with our
kids, by the way, we should do with our kids. Give them a quality that you see in them find a good
quality and your children find a good quality and someone around you and give them that quality to
aspire to is something that we should do in our in our individual and family lives. But the prophets
		
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			license understood, even a community identity.
		
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			And this is something very profound and from the hikma of the Prophet size of the wisdom of the
prophets, I send them that he knew that these were a deeply tribal people, right? They used to take
pride in what leads to take pride in their tribal names. So he calls them an unsolved while Mahajan.
		
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			That special, those that migrated for the sake of Allah and those that hosted for the sake of Allah,
that's an identity. Yeah, I'm not sure on unsolved, so anytime they need to aim higher. Remember,
you're the unsought remember who you are. You're the people that host whenever these people are
persecuted, you're the people that left your homes for the sake of Allah subhana wa tada I'm the
love not bustle the law, I'm home, I said that when the profit slice I'm used to do data to a tribe,
he always mentioned their best qualities first, even as an identity so instead of taking pride in a
name, take pride in a quality that you have. So what's your defining quality as a people, not just
		
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			as an individual? What's your name? What's your defining quality as a people is something that the
prophets lie Selim looked for
		
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			the profit slice and I'm also said alikum beset
		
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			upon you is truth, the inner Sitka Yeti in a little in a little Yachty in agenda. One is Allah
Roger. Oh, yes, look, Hatter, yoked up and de la. De that a person should be truthful. And know that
truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to gender. And he said sly Salaam, you
do not tell the truth on a consistent basis except that Allah gives you an equality. Allah gives you
a name, you're so deep. That's not just for Ibrahim Ali Salaam, and I will bucket all the allowed.
		
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			Can I honestly believe on the day of judgment that Allah would call me and say, Sadiq? What are the
good qualities I want to hear from Allah? Because the opposite side of that Hadith are the liars,
the prophets license that a person just gets used to lying until it becomes a defining quality can
be a liar? What are the defining qualities? On the day of judgment that I want a lot of call me by
what can I aim towards? What if I had a defining quality? What is it? What are the multiple ones?
The gates of agenda will call people by qualities? What's my quality? Right? Just like when you name
your children, and you give an actual name, put a defining quality and say, I want to be that I want
		
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			a lot to call me by this name on the Day of Judgment.
		
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			I want a lot to call me by this name on the Day of Judgment, and I'm going to live my life in
accordance with being a person called by this good quality on the Day of Judgment. What would people
know me by
		
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			and know me by for sincerity because the Prophet slicin um, said that, you know, when you die and
people say, it's very hard to be a person that's so bad that people curse you when you die. You have
to be a really bad person. Most people they say great things about you. Right? And the prophets lie
Some said the angels poke and say a hacker that Quint is that you Are you really that person that
you say that they say you are so sincere, good qualities, how do I put my own name that I want to be
called by on the day of judgment and say, yeah, Allah I want to be this person one day of judgment.
I want a lot to call me by my sincerity I want a lot of call me by my son I want a lot of call me by
		
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			my modesty I want a lot to call me by my charity I want a lot of call me by my my helpfulness my
selflessness all these are the qualities I want a lot to say. Yeah. Oh, so and so approach. How
sweet would it be to have a good nickname from Allah, a good nickname in the heavens? So even for
ourselves? Finally, dear brothers and sisters?
		
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			How do we do this amongst ourselves? And how do we how do we actually expand this for ourselves?
Sometimes, as we see from Khadija the law on her reassuring the Prophet sallallahu wasallam.
Sometimes you have to help someone affirm their own good qualities when they're questioning
themselves. Now, of course, the Prophet slicin was not questioning his own goodness. When the
Prophet sly son was afraid when he came from Hara Khadija de la I'm not reassured the prophets lie
some with his best qualities.
		
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			When you see someone falling short, the prophet sly son was not falling short. You see your child or
you see a friend or you see someone that's falling short. don't assign the bad quality to them. The
worst thing you can do to your child is to call them by and say, oh, here you go again. We know how
stubborn you always are. We know how you're always this and you're always that because that's gonna
stick in their minds. Your friend gets used to a certain quality they start self internalized self
hatred, it gets close I'm you know what, you know how I am. First it's you know who you are in a bad
sense. And then it's you know who I am? No, affirm the good qualities, call your kids by the best
		
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			qualities that you see potential in them, even if they haven't mastered them yet. It's okay. It's
one of the things that you elevate your children with, call them say, you know, you're always caring
Mashallah, I love how you're always caring. Let it stick with them. And let them aspire to that
quality until it becomes a part of them. We do that with our friends. We do that with our families.
What's our family defining quality, the Prophet's life somehow to defining quality for a community?
What is the defining quality that we want to have collectively as a Valley Ranch Islamic center?
What are those two, three terms that we want to hear that always describe our community? And if
		
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			we're not yet there, how do we actually live up to those things? We ask Allah subhana wa tada to
allow us to have the best of names and the best of qualities and our individual, our family, our
community lives and to allow us to live up to them. I love them. I mean, akula Kalia was talking
about he will accompany certain muslimeen for stuff we do in the whole affordable housing.