Omar Suleiman – Is Revenge Worth It It Hurts You More Than You Think

Omar Suleiman
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss various topics, including a dispute between the Prophet sallimm and the person who killed their brother, a heated argument between two leaders, money and wealth, and actions related to murder. They also discuss the struggles of Islam and the struggles of the people of their country due to their conflicting beliefs and revelation. The speakers stress the importance of finding a partner and finding forgiveness and patience when faced with negative consequences, as well as the importance of finding a course of action for revenge and finding forgiveness and patience when faced with negative consequences.
AI: Transcript ©
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We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta

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'ala and bearing witness that none has the

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right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except

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for him And we bear witness that Muhammad

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his final messenger

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We ask Allah to send his peace and

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blessings upon him the prophets and messengers that

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came before him His family and companions that

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served alongside him and those that follow in

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his blessed path until the day of judgment

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We ask Allah to make us amongst them.

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Allahumma ameen Dear brothers and sisters, Alqam ibn

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Wael radiyallahu ta'ala anhu narrates an extremely

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interesting incident with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa

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sallam And I remember the very first time

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that I read or actually heard someone speaking

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about this incident I thought to myself this

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can't be authentic until I actually went and

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found its authenticity so he says From his

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father that he was sitting with the messenger

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of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam anahu kana

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qa'dan inda rasoolillahi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam idh

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ja'a rajulun yaqoodu akhara binisa'a He

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said at that point another man came to

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while he

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was sitting and he had another man tied

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up So two men come to the Prophet

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam one of them holding

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the other and he's got him tied up

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And he says ya rasoolallah qatala hatha akhi

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This man killed my brother so the Prophet

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam looked at the man

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that was tied up and he said to

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him aqataltahu did you really kill him and

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Before the other man could answer the one

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who had him tied up who was full

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of anger over what had happened to his

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brother He said ya rasoolallah if he doesn't

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admit to it, then I have all the

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evidence that he did it Anyway, so if

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he says no, he's in trouble.

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And if he says yes, he's in trouble

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The evidence is very clear So the man

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says now I'm qataltu.

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Yes, I Killed him qataltu.

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So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

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kayfa qataltahu.

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Tell me what happened So he said kuntu

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ana wa huwa nahtatibu min shajaratin fa sabbani

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fa aghdabani fa darabtu bil faasi ala qarnihi

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He said so he said to the Prophet

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that we were chopping

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wood together Fa sabbani so he insulted me

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and we got into a heated argument and

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in the middle of that argument I hit

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him with my faas.

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I hit him with my axe and I

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killed him So it was a heated argument

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that took place Apparently they were co-workers

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or they worked together maybe even relatives but

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in the middle of that argument I ended

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up killing him So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

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wa sallam said to him Hal laka min

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maal?

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Do you have any money or any wealth?

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That you can avail yourself of today that

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perhaps you can offer something to the family

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Because of what you have done.

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Qala ya rasool Allah I have no money

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illa faasi wa kisaai.

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I have absolutely no wealth except for my

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axe and the clothes that are on my

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back So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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said to him A tu raa qawmaka yashtaroonak?

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Do you think that your people your family

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would come forth or your tribe would come

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forth and They would offer something on your

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behalf Qala ana ahwanu ala qawmi min dhalik.

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He said I don't mean that much to

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my people So I have nothing to give

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I have nothing to offer It was a

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bad argument and the man is resigned to

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death.

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He knows that execution Coming his way because

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at the end of the day though He

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didn't intend to kill the man it happened

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and he doesn't feel like he has any

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way to get himself out of the situation

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself Gathers

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and you go to another narration that explains

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us a little bit longer the Prophet sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam himself Wants to intercede on

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behalf of the man With wealth and with

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prompting the man who has the right to

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kill him because of him killing his brother

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so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam looks

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towards the man whose brother was killed and

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he says forgive him or who pardon him

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and the man refuses The Prophet sallallahu alayhi

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wa sallam said who's out of Shaka that

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you know Take your rope, but that will

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pay you will give you something but let

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it go forgive him.

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Pardon him so ABBA and the man refused

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again and The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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said in that case is hub fuck tolu

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For in Nakam, it's Lugo In that case

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go ahead Carry out the death penalty essentially

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But know that you are no better than

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him in Nakam.

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It's Lugo.

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You're just like him and So the man

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took him and he walked away from the

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Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam So someone goes

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and runs behind him and says to him

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Didn't you hear that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

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wa sallam said to you who for in

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Nakam if That kill him, but if you

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do so you're just like him don't you

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see what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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is trying to tell you and the man

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as He's being prompted in that regard and

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realizing that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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is telling him something deeper He lets him

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go and he starts to walk the rest

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of the way Dragging the rope and the

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people see him walking in silence through the

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city with his rope dragging on the ground

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SubhanAllah this narration So deep and I remember

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the very first time I heard it.

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I thought to myself Well, you know that

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man has the right to do what he's

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going to do and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

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wa sallam was sent to establish justice But

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there's something deeper here That the Prophet sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam while he was sent to

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establish the right to justice the Prophet sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam Also was seeking to bring

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about the best spiritual potential of those that

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he was sent to He wasn't condemning the

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man if he did what he was going

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to do But he was telling the man

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that if you go forth and do this

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You're going to be just like him and

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there are so much that cannot translate through

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a text What did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

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wa sallam see of regret perhaps in the

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man that committed the murder What did the

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Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam see of a

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rage that would consume that person in the

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future?

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There's so much that can come through the

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text Which is why the scholars say only

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had the

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right to say to that person Do it

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But you are just like him that a

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qadi cannot say a judge cannot say to

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a person That you'll be just like him

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because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam clearly

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was reading a situation and only the Messenger

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of Allah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has that

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right?

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However, the lesson that we can still take

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from it is deeply profound Why do I

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start with this story last week?

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We talked about the famous conversation between Abu

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Sufyan and Omar al-Khattab after the Battle

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of Uhud and There's so much to take

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from that conversation Qatlana fil-jannah wa qatlakum

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fil-nar Our dead are in paradise your

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dead are in hellfire until the end of

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it a very famous Conversation that we've reflected

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on quite a bit after Gaza But subhanAllah,

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there's something else That I want to extract

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from that hadith that relates to us in

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a deeply personal way Which is that if

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you were from the mushrikeen all you had

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was a day for a day Yom and

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Beom all you had was worldly victory and

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worldly defeat because there was absolutely nothing else

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To encourage you to act in a different

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way as far as outside or hereafter Conceptions

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were concerned you don't believe in anything deeper.

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You don't believe in a hereafter You don't

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believe in divine justice And so what this

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means as the scholars say if you were

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to be in Mecca after the Battle of

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Badr Put aside the context that indeed they

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were wrong and they brought better upon themselves

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as the people of Mecca as the Quraish

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in Mecca that they deserve to be fought

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because of all the fighting that they had

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done But see it just as a worldly

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loss from their perspective They don't have the

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ability to comfort each other and say our

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dead are shuhada By Ibn Allahi ta'ala,

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our dead are now with Allah and with

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the angels and they're roaming through the heavens

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They don't have any conception of you know

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Nasbir when a testable be patient then we'll

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seek the reward in the hereafter.

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They have absolutely nothing They have the full

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bitterness of the defeat in this dunya without

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any idea of the sweetness of a hereafter

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It's gone and that's a miserable existence They

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can't comfort themselves with anything and so they

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were literally boiling in their anger with revenge

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as The only driver that they had and

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they said to each other and there are

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multiple Conversations that you can find between Abu

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Sufyan and Safwan Abu Umayyah and others that

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life has no sweetness anymore They had absolutely

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no way to move past better except for

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seeing blood in their hands Because they had

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nothing else to drive them The Muslims on

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the other hand Recovered from a hood again

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take away right from wrong just the idea

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of seeing your loved ones killed in battle

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They had something to comfort themselves with after

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a hood.

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They knew that their dead were in paradise

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They believed in a concept of shahada.

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They believed in a concept of a higher

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reward they knew that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala

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would not let those moments of bitterness go

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in waste and That's why they were different

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You see if you think about what drove

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Abu Sufyan of a day for a day

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and then the mutilation of the bodies in

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Uhud just to feel extra It's not enough

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for us to kill because some of ours

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were killed But we have to cut off

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noses and cut out the stomachs and chew

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the livers and and dump wine on their

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bodies We have to go extra to really

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ensure that we won we won when the

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Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam came back in

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Fath Makkah and Had all of these people

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at his mercy You didn't see them like

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going and branding Some of the disbelievers who

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carried out the the worst atrocities around them.

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You didn't see them respond in kind Because

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they were fighting for Allah.

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They were forgiving for Allah They were driven

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by revelation not by revenge There was something

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else that was moving them and it was

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deeper than anything that those people could have

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understood in the moment And that's the beauty

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of what we have That justice had to

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be served Bilal radiallahu ta'ala anhu who

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was once dragged in the streets in Mecca

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Had to be standing on top of the

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Kaaba saying allahu akbar allahu akbar that indeed

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What was wrong had to be put in

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its rightful place but the driver Was entirely

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different and subhanAllah to take this back to

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the people of Gaza.

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I remember when dr Farhan when he came

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back from Gaza One of the things that

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he mentioned subhanAllah that surprised him and I

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asked him what surprised you and a lot

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of doctors and I know mashallah.

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We have many of them here May Allah

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bless you all and reward you allahumma ameen

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many of them if you ask them what

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surprised them They'll give you a similar answer

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and he said That the people of Gaza

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are remarkably not bitter like they don't talk

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that much about revenge as Much as they

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are directing their pain to Allah subhanahu wa'ta

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'ala and their ihtisab And they're seeking the

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reward from Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and seeking

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That greater victory with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala

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that doesn't mean that in any way The

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genocide and atrocity around them or upon them

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should be excused That doesn't mean in any

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way that the evil that we see that's

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being inflicted on them is indeed evil That

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doesn't mean in any way that we shouldn't

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stop fighting against that evil on their behalf

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That doesn't lessen the betrayal of the Arab

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and Muslim leaders around them that they complain

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about But their posture Their hearts are Directed

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towards taking this tragedy and lessening the tragedy

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of the hereafter They're more driven by that

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than anything else as people at the spiritual

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level with what they are encountering and That's

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this perfect balance That while we fight for

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justice we seek the pleasure of Allah subhanahu

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wa'ta'ala and at no point Do we

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allow ourselves to be relegated?

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To exclusively a worldly plane now bring it

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back to our individual affairs There are lowly

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goals There are lowly motives and subhanAllah.

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There's a narration about Ali radhiyaAllahu ta'ala

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anhu I couldn't find a source for it

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So just take it for its wisdom that

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many of us have heard that Sayyidina Ali

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radhiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu one time he was

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in the battlefield and he Overcame a man

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and as he got that man down the

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man spit on him and Ali radhiyaAllahu ta

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'ala anhu leaves him and says That I

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was going to kill you for the sake

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of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, but once you

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spit on me It became about something else

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The ego takes over right we become overpowered

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by something else.

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The motivation is not the same when we

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come to our own personal relationships and And

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vuln that can happen in the capacity of

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a relationship and it is very Very normal

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that two people can claim to be mazlum

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can both claim to be oppressed while they're

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both oppressors in their own, right?

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This is very normal Because we interpret the

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world through our experiences and when we don't

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have revelation to guide us Then we end

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up creating that world or reinforcing that world

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over and over and over again and One

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of the things subhanAllah that one of my

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teachers had told me years ago And I

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mentioned to him a situation of vuln and

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he said the first advice that I would

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give to you is Don't do anything that

00:14:25 --> 00:14:28

would take you from being a mazlum to

00:14:28 --> 00:14:30

a zalim Don't do anything that would take

00:14:30 --> 00:14:32

you from being a wronged person to a

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wronging person Don't do anything that would take

00:14:34 --> 00:14:36

you out of the category with Allah subhanahu

00:14:36 --> 00:14:38

wa'ta'ala of being oppressed to being an

00:14:38 --> 00:14:41

oppressor And I'm thinking to myself How is

00:14:41 --> 00:14:43

that even possible and it is possible because

00:14:43 --> 00:14:45

you could start off in a situation Indeed

00:14:45 --> 00:14:47

being one who was mazlum one who was

00:14:47 --> 00:14:51

wrong But then the course of action that

00:14:51 --> 00:14:53

you decide to take as a result of

00:14:53 --> 00:14:55

that Driven by revenge could put you in

00:14:55 --> 00:14:58

the category of being a zalim and you

00:14:58 --> 00:15:01

know where this is most true And I

00:15:01 --> 00:15:04

want to strike directly at it without any

00:15:04 --> 00:15:11

sugarcoating divorce talaq in our community Yes in

00:15:11 --> 00:15:14

the beginning you often see That one party

00:15:14 --> 00:15:17

has wronged another party more There is a

00:15:17 --> 00:15:20

zalim and a mazlum and it's let's say

00:15:20 --> 00:15:23

75% 25% in the beginning Or

00:15:23 --> 00:15:26

it's 60-40, but there's some sort of

00:15:26 --> 00:15:29

clear assignment of wrongdoing When someone is analyzing

00:15:29 --> 00:15:31

the situation from a little bit of a

00:15:31 --> 00:15:33

distance and says yeah this person took it

00:15:33 --> 00:15:36

a little bit too far you if I

00:15:36 --> 00:15:38

was to assign blame blame is usually on

00:15:38 --> 00:15:42

both sides, but Usually there's there's a 70

00:15:42 --> 00:15:44

-30 there or a 60-40 or something

00:15:44 --> 00:15:47

there Where either to the man or the

00:15:47 --> 00:15:49

woman you can see that the blame goes

00:15:49 --> 00:15:51

a little bit more on one side But

00:15:51 --> 00:15:54

then the course of action that's taken afterwards

00:15:55 --> 00:15:58

Renders the mazlum or the mazluma the zalim

00:15:58 --> 00:16:01

or the zalima the one who was wrong

00:16:01 --> 00:16:06

male or female the wronging party why because

00:16:06 --> 00:16:11

in the capacity of Seeking justice you become

00:16:11 --> 00:16:14

unjust sometimes you take it too far and

00:16:15 --> 00:16:17

So it could be that indeed you were

00:16:17 --> 00:16:20

wronged and no one disputes that But then

00:16:20 --> 00:16:22

what you did over the next three months

00:16:22 --> 00:16:25

No justification for that and you can't keep

00:16:25 --> 00:16:28

milking that I was wronged initially card because

00:16:28 --> 00:16:31

this doesn't work with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala

00:16:31 --> 00:16:33

that someone wronged me first Therefore I can

00:16:33 --> 00:16:34

keep this bliss going and going and going

00:16:34 --> 00:16:37

and going and there is no sanctity anymore

00:16:37 --> 00:16:39

to that other human being to That other

00:16:39 --> 00:16:41

person it doesn't work that way in Islam

00:16:41 --> 00:16:44

Allah azawajal establishes the rights if rights were

00:16:44 --> 00:16:46

taken rights should be given back as much

00:16:46 --> 00:16:49

as they possibly can but sometimes you go

00:16:49 --> 00:16:52

too far and You think it's gonna heal

00:16:52 --> 00:16:55

you and it doesn't heal you and if

00:16:55 --> 00:16:57

you take more than what Allah subhanahu wa'ta

00:16:57 --> 00:16:59

'ala has given you In the capacity of

00:16:59 --> 00:17:01

justice on the Day of Judgment.

00:17:01 --> 00:17:02

What does it benefit you?

00:17:03 --> 00:17:05

that you took yourself out of a category

00:17:05 --> 00:17:08

from being mazlum to being valid to beat

00:17:08 --> 00:17:10

from being wrong to be in wronging and

00:17:10 --> 00:17:13

That extra property that you took chokes you

00:17:13 --> 00:17:15

on the Day of Judgment Those extra sins

00:17:15 --> 00:17:17

that you committed in the capacity the extra

00:17:17 --> 00:17:20

The extra of the tongue the extra of

00:17:20 --> 00:17:21

the hand the extra of the harm that

00:17:21 --> 00:17:24

was done after the divorce Sinks your Mizan

00:17:24 --> 00:17:25

on the Day of Judgment and causes you

00:17:25 --> 00:17:26

to be bankrupt on the Day of Judgment.

00:17:27 --> 00:17:28

What did you actually benefit?

00:17:29 --> 00:17:30

Didn't heal you here.

00:17:30 --> 00:17:31

Nor did it heal you there.

00:17:31 --> 00:17:33

It seemed like it would be sweet.

00:17:33 --> 00:17:36

It wasn't sweet Because one of the greatest

00:17:36 --> 00:17:38

lies that Shaitaan has ever sold is that

00:17:38 --> 00:17:39

revenge is sweet.

00:17:39 --> 00:17:42

It's not sweet Again, that doesn't mean don't

00:17:42 --> 00:17:46

pursue your haqouq That doesn't mean relinquish all

00:17:46 --> 00:17:46

of your rights.

00:17:47 --> 00:17:48

That doesn't mean that we have to do

00:17:48 --> 00:17:52

better as communities in terms of establishing weights

00:17:52 --> 00:17:56

of justice But at the end of the

00:17:56 --> 00:17:59

day The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam warned us

00:17:59 --> 00:18:01

from becoming so caught up in this that

00:18:01 --> 00:18:04

we no longer see the ability to seek

00:18:04 --> 00:18:06

Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala's mercy and to seek

00:18:06 --> 00:18:08

Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala's Pardon and to seek

00:18:08 --> 00:18:11

Allah's forgiveness and just like Ihsan in a

00:18:11 --> 00:18:15

marriage Ihsan in a marriage is giving more

00:18:15 --> 00:18:18

than what you demand There's Ihsan in divorce

00:18:18 --> 00:18:18

as well.

00:18:19 --> 00:18:21

Tasrihun bi Ihsan as Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala

00:18:21 --> 00:18:24

mentions to separate in excellence as well Ihsan

00:18:24 --> 00:18:27

exists in every single domain of our lives

00:18:27 --> 00:18:30

even the ugliest scenarios in our lives But

00:18:30 --> 00:18:32

it takes you to step back and to

00:18:32 --> 00:18:35

say what do I actually want and subhanAllah

00:18:35 --> 00:18:37

because we're out of time I don't have

00:18:37 --> 00:18:39

time to go into the details of what

00:18:39 --> 00:18:41

Allah azawajal has at the end of surah

00:18:41 --> 00:18:43

shura But Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala says وَلِمَنْ

00:18:43 --> 00:18:46

صَبْرَ وَغَفْرَ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ For

00:18:46 --> 00:18:49

the one who is patient and forgives then

00:18:49 --> 00:18:53

verily that is of the Affairs that requires

00:18:53 --> 00:18:56

the greatest determination you have to be really

00:18:56 --> 00:18:58

determined Really driven for the pleasure of Allah

00:18:58 --> 00:19:00

subhanahu wa'ta'ala to still be able to

00:19:00 --> 00:19:03

show mercy and forgiveness and patience when you

00:19:03 --> 00:19:05

were the initial Wrong party.

00:19:05 --> 00:19:08

However, the verses before that Allah azawajal is

00:19:09 --> 00:19:11

Distinguishing what does that was a yet and

00:19:11 --> 00:19:13

say yet to miss Luha That an evil

00:19:13 --> 00:19:15

is repaid with an evil just like it

00:19:15 --> 00:19:18

that there are consequences that we do establish

00:19:18 --> 00:19:20

justice in our deen But then it comes

00:19:20 --> 00:19:22

to you as a person to say what

00:19:22 --> 00:19:23

do I really want?

00:19:24 --> 00:19:25

I end with the Hadith of the Prophet

00:19:25 --> 00:19:28

sallallahu alayhi wasallam because of that time and

00:19:28 --> 00:19:29

the words of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam

00:19:29 --> 00:19:32

Are comprehensive and they give us so much

00:19:32 --> 00:19:35

to reflect upon Hudaifah Ibn al-Yaman radiyallahu

00:19:35 --> 00:19:37

ta'ala anhu narrates that the Prophet sallallahu

00:19:37 --> 00:19:40

alayhi wasallam said لا تكونوا امعا Do not

00:19:40 --> 00:19:41

be people without a will of your own

00:19:41 --> 00:19:44

and this word امعا Means you go with

00:19:44 --> 00:19:46

the flow and it has different meanings and

00:19:46 --> 00:19:49

different connotations and different usages But here the

00:19:49 --> 00:19:51

Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam say don't be that

00:19:51 --> 00:19:53

person who has no will of their own

00:19:53 --> 00:19:57

Who says اِنْ اَحْسَنَ الْنَاسُ اَحْسَنَّ وَإِنْ ظَلَمُوا

00:19:57 --> 00:20:00

ظَلَمْنَا If people treat us well with ihsan

00:20:00 --> 00:20:01

we will treat them with ihsan and if

00:20:01 --> 00:20:05

they oppress us We will oppress them وَلَكِنْ

00:20:05 --> 00:20:10

وَطِّنُوا اَنْفُسَكُمْ اِنْ اَحْسَنَ الْنَاسُ اَنْ تُحْسِنُوا وَإِنْ

00:20:10 --> 00:20:12

اَسَاءُوا فَلَا تَظْلِمُوا The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam

00:20:12 --> 00:20:16

said instead Relegate yourself train yourself to where

00:20:16 --> 00:20:18

if the people show you excellence show them

00:20:18 --> 00:20:22

greater excellence Show them excellence in return and

00:20:22 --> 00:20:24

if they wronged you the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

00:20:24 --> 00:20:29

wasallam said Don't wrong them back Don't become

00:20:29 --> 00:20:32

an oppressor yourself Dear brothers and sisters.

00:20:32 --> 00:20:32

The message is clear.

00:20:32 --> 00:20:35

Don't become what you hate as Muslims this

00:20:35 --> 00:20:38

has a political connotation That all of the

00:20:38 --> 00:20:41

volume that's done against us politically does not

00:20:41 --> 00:20:43

allow us to become people of one ourselves

00:20:43 --> 00:20:46

because why they are not our teachers Benjamin

00:20:46 --> 00:20:49

Netanyahu is not our teacher These people are

00:20:49 --> 00:20:53

not our teachers on a personal level Because

00:20:53 --> 00:20:55

all of us are going to have moments

00:20:55 --> 00:20:58

where we are stung or we feel like

00:20:58 --> 00:21:00

we're stung and some of those Relationships are

00:21:00 --> 00:21:03

going to be more consequential than others Be

00:21:03 --> 00:21:05

driven by Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and what

00:21:05 --> 00:21:08

you seek from him May Allah subhanahu wa'ta

00:21:08 --> 00:21:10

'ala make us a people of higher Aspirations

00:21:10 --> 00:21:13

and higher manners and who seek higher rewards

00:21:13 --> 00:21:15

even in the most devastating Situations in our

00:21:15 --> 00:21:16

lives allahumma ameen

00:22:07 --> 00:22:18

Allahumma

00:22:18 --> 00:22:18

ameen

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