Omar Suleiman – A Dua Away #04 What Is The DuA For Marriage & Companionship
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the concept of romance and how it is a form of divine visible-force. They also mention a story about a baker making love to one of their spouse's spouse, and how desperate their desire for love to drive them crazy. The importance of trusting the Prophet serving their needs is emphasized, and the use of the rainbow to indicate a desire for a better relationship is discussed. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding a duusually beautiful combination to indicate a desire for a better relationship.AI: Transcript ©
You might have heard the saying that romance
is like rizq.
In reality,
every single relationship in our lives is a
form of rizq. It's a form of divine
sustenance.
I want you to think about how many
unlikely friendships there are. How many unlikely relationships
there are. And you think how is it
that these two people ended up coming together
or maybe someone that became your best friend
in life and it seemed completely random
how you met them. If you remember when
the Prophet said,
that souls are like conscripted soldiers, that they
are driven together
by virtue of their likeness.
Sometimes it's not the divine decree that drives
souls together based upon their likeness.
Sometimes it's actually someone's Du'a that drives 2
people to each other.
The prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said about our
mother Khadija
that verily I was sustained
by her love. Her love was a form
of rizq for me. I want you to
think about this. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says
to the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam,
wa jada kibwalanfahadahwajada
kia'ilanfa'ugna.
He mentions that he enriched the Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam through Khadija radiAllahu ta'ala Anha. And
this isn't just talking about the position of
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam after marrying someone
like Khadija radiAllahu Anha. I want you to
think about what Allah inspired in Khadija radiAllahu
ta'ala Anha before the prophet salAllahu alayhi wasalam
even received revelation
to where she saw something in him
before
other people would see in the Prophet SallAllahu
Alaihi Wasallam what they would see in him.
She saw in him Alaihi Wasallam
despite
the societal gap,
the best human being to ever walk the
face of the earth. That's something that's divine
and that's something that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
truly descends
as rizq. And again, it's not just marriage.
SubhanAllah, there's a very beautiful narration from Alkama,
Waheemahu Allah. He says that, Qadim Tu Sham
fasalaytu rakaatein that one day I went to
Syria and I entered into the Masjid and
I prayed 2 rakas. And
then I said, so listen to the dua,
Allahumurzukni
jalisan
saliha,
O Allah grant me a righteous companion.
So this is actually a dua, Allahumur zukni
jalisan saliha, O Allah grant me a righteous
companion.
So he said,
So I came to a group of people
in the Masjid and I sat with them
and he said,
And then he said, suddenly an old man
came
and he sat right next to me. So
I said, manhadah, who is this? They said
that's Abu Darda radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu who's literally
one of the greatest scholars of the Sahab
of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam who was
the teacher of Asham and it was on
the basis of that du'a. We have the
famous story of the baker in the time
of Imam Ahmad Rahimullah
who made du'a to one day see Imam
Ahmad. And Imam Ahmad Rahimullah
gets kicked out of a masjid
and dragged by his feet until he enters
into
the bakery
in front of that man on the basis
of that man's du'a.
Sometimes it's a du'a that drives
someone to you or drives you to someone
because realize it's not just your heart that
has to click, it's someone else's heart that
has to click. Now SubhanAllah, as you go
through the different duas
that pertain to marriage,
they're actually remarkably
unspecific. What do I mean by that? Usually
when people make du'a for a spouse, they
make du'a for a very particular person and
they are desperate for that person because love
can drive you crazy. So you're sitting there
and you're saying, oh Allah, give me this
person and you're putting on the blinders. So
like the opposite of Istikhara
where you're trying to make the best decision,
you're putting on the blinders to all the
potential pitfalls. Maybe you're not even listening to
people that are pointing out to you some
potential problems or it all seems to be
just right. But the point is is that
you're so desperate for that person and when
you look through the du'as that we learn
from the Quran and the Sunnah they're actually
not specific, they're actually very general and that's
for our best interest and that's part of
that tawakkur in Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And
so of the greatest du'as for marriage is
the one that we actually learned from Musa
alayhis salam, where Musa alayhis salam is in
Madyan, and Musa alayhis salam
has just escaped Egypt
after a horrible mistake that he committed,
and he is completely
alone,
abandoned, a fugitive,
and has no idea what his next step
in life is. And he does this small
good deed and then he rests under a
tree and he makes this famous du'a to
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,
He said, O my Lord, indeed I am
for any good that You bestow upon me
very needy. You Allah, I need You. And
he doesn't say what he needs from Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala because the list is actually
pretty long there. Safety,
you know, food. The last thing he's probably
thinking about is a spouse, but that's actually
the point. He just says, You Allah,
I need any good that You're going to
bestow upon me and I am in a
state of faqr. I am in a state
of complete
vulnerability
to you. The scholars say, 1st and foremost,
Musa alayhi salam employs what is known as
wasfulhal,
how you describe your state, and he says
I am always
in need of you. So I am faqeer
whether I am in the palace of Fir'aun
or whether I am lost under a tree
in Madyan, I am always in need of
you, oh Allah.
And the scholars mentioned here as Imam Sa'adir
Rahimullah says, wassuaalbilhalablaawminassuaalbidisanalmaqal
Sometimes
to ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala by presenting
your difficult situation
is even better than asking Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala directly with speech. It's just You Allah,
here I am. Now last time we spoke
about how you shouldn't say I'm unworthy.
There's a difference between saying I'm unworthy or
I'm from the wretched and I have absolutely
no right to ask you, oh Allah,
and saying You Allah, I'm in need of
you. You Allah, I'm always in need of
you. And presenting your brokenness to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala. So long as you're not suggesting
when you present that brokenness to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala that you're irredeemable.
So Musa Alayhi Salaam simply says, oh Allah,
I am for any good that you are
going to descend upon me constantly needy, whatever
it is. And I could list out what
those are, oh Allah, but I'm just leaving
that to you. And at that point, Allah
Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la
inspires
in
his future father-in-law.
And this is what Imam bin Ashur Rahimahullah
says, alhamashuaiban
andyursila wa ra'ah that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
inspired Shuraib
to send his daughter to him and that's
why the ayah says, Fajaa a tu ihdahumah
that one of the 2 women came to
him. The letter fa here indicates that it
was a result of his dua. So if
you could see the dua in working,
Musa Alaihi Salam calling out to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala
with a general du'a that I'm needy
and whatever it is that you're going to
send me I'm going to be pleased with.
I need it from you, oh Allah. And
then suddenly the inspiration
coming to the family of Shu'aib and then
this woman being sent towards Musa Alayhi Salaam
and then finally Musa Alaihi Salaam finding out
of that miserable situation,
a beautiful marriage. This is all part of
the decree of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and
so truly here
of the best du'as to ask Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala for a spouse is then this
du'a, rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayamin khairin faqir.
My Lord, indeed I am for any good
that you bestow on me
very needy. And by the way, there's also
a sign here that you don't actually have
to know what khayr, what good you're asking
from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
You just have to know that you are
delegating it to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. You
don't even have to know what the way
out is. You just have to know that
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is capable of giving
you a way out and then trust Him
to do so. And so sometimes we don't
even know what we're specifically asking for, but
we trust Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala
with that ask. And so you have Khadija
being driven to the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam,
you have Awud Darda radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu being
driven to Alkama,
you have Shua'ib and his family being driven
to Musa Alaihi Wasallam. These duas that are
being made for a good spouse, for a
good companion.
What about the du'a of someone who is
divorced or widowed? This is where we look
to Salama radiAllahu ta'ala Anha who when her
husband Abu Salama radiAllahu Anhu passed away and
he was one of the best companions of
the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam. Truly a remarkable
man, an amazing human being. And Salama radiAllahu
Anhu thought to herself, how could I possibly
have
something or someone
better than him?
And the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam teaches her
the dua,
Allahummaajirni
fee muslibati
wakhrufli khayram minha. Oh Allah,
compensate me
in regards to my tragedy
and give me something better than that which
was taken away. And when Umsalama radiAllahu anhu
is making this du'a,
she doesn't realize what the khair could be,
what it could possibly be that Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala would give her in place of
Abu Salama. Is it Jannah? That would be
khair.
But in her situation, she said Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala gave me the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi
Wasallam. She never even thought that that was
a possibility.
And he was the one man Alaihi Salatu
Wasallam
that she could say without a doubt was
actually better than Abu Salama because if you
asked her about any other companion of the
Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam she wouldn't be able
to tell you who was better than Abu
Salama radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu. Now someone might be
saying, well look,
you know, my previous husband wasn't exactly Abu
Salama. I got divorced and I had a
nasty divorce or, you know, perhaps even though
I'm widowed there's some trauma there and I'm
having a hard time getting over it and
who's going to look towards me? The point
is dear brothers and sisters when you make
this du'a there's surely something that is prophetic,
there's surely something that can come out of
it. And just like with every other du'a
we've covered so far, you're saying let the
khair be in the Hereafter or the dunya,
and privileging the Hereafter to the dunya, but
knowing that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala can give
you both
if that's best for you. So this is
the dua for the single person in regards
to Musa 'alayhi Salaam, the Dua for one
who is divorced or widowed in the case
of, Salam radiAllahu ta'ala Anha and then finally
the Dua that is comprehensive in this regard,
Rabbanahabilalamanazwajina
wuduriatinahqurrata
aayun wajAAamalil mutaqina imama. Oh Allah grant us
from our spouses and children
the coolness of our eyes,
and make us imams, make us leaders for
the pious. In this du'a, it's important to
mention that this is not just the du'a
that you make after you get married.
This is a du'a that you make, period.
And it has to match up with your
actual priority
in regards to who you choose as a
spouse. So you can't say let us have
in our spouses and our children the coolness
of our eyes and people that are religious
and people that are practicing but then not
really have that represented in your criteria for
marriage. So that's one group of people, right?
Like let me make this Duaa
but you're not choosing people
on the basis of the criteria of your
du'a.
But for everyone else when you're making this
du'a just like every other dua, this is
a Qur'anic dua, this is a beautiful dua
and it represents
not just the desire for a companion,
not just the desire for children, but it
represents
what would be driving you to make that
du'a in the first place which is to
increase,
first and foremost, increase
the obedience to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala on
this earth. Because the coolness of your eyes
in marriage and the coolness of your eyes
in your children should be to see people
that are in the worship of Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala. Then certainly to benefit from their
companionship as well.
But you keep on making that du'a whether
you're married or you are not married and
certainly Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will continue
to bestow upon you as a result of
it what you were seeking from that dua
in the first place. But you don't have
to be specific
to have that blessed sustenance from Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala. Allah
knows what
and who is actually best for you in
this life and in the hereafter.
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