Omar Suleiman – A Better Way To Stop Backbiting

			Subhanallah as we come through these verses, we come to the verses of about the Rama,
		

			the servants of the Most Merciful and the qualities of the servants of the Most Merciful May Allah
subhanaw taala make us amongst those that embody these qualities of a battle Rama Lama, I mean
Subhanallah there's one verse that I wanted to focus on, because it's one of those things that you
ironically quickly move through what either monitorable been lovely Merle KERAMA when they come
across idle speech, they pass through with dignity. Subhanallah very similar, by the way to what we
hear about in the beginning of sorts and what we know and the previous description of the believers
will Levina home and love we mourn alone, those who prohibits idle speech, they don't engage in idle
		

			speech. And here Allah subhanaw taala describes about the Rahman Alladhina schoon, idle the Hohner
they're walking very peacefully on the earth not harming, not accepting harm and not harming and
either Hapa Mohammed J. Luna cardhu Salama, someone comes to them aggressively, and they simply will
just wanna be Martin Alaba. As a scholar, as mentioned, ignorance here is in the meaning of anger in
the meaning of aggressiveness. So when people are aggressive towards them directly, they say Saddam
may say we want no part of this. They keep moving, they keep it moving. But it's one thing when you
are the recipient of it, but either not a rule but luckily not rule Kirana. When they come across a
		

			level when they come across false speech, idle speech, they move with dignity. Usually this is going
to be when the subject is someone other than you. Someone else is being spoken about. And as most
people will end up in hellfire because of their tongues. I pray that Ramadan is an opportunity for
us inshallah Tata to purify our tongues as much as possible Allahumma Amin, and to let this tongue
be that which is pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala and to say that which is pleasing to Allah, so
that we accustom our tongues to saying good words, so much so that we find that a good word that we
said in passing enters us into Jannah and not a bad word that we said in passing enters us into
		

			hellfire Allah made me so I wanted to talk about something very profound that I came across from an
Imam Al Ghazali Rahim Allah to Allah and even Kodama Rahim Allah elaborates a bit on this, about
this idea of actually being able to prohibit backbiting because there are stages there are levels.
And I want to start from this premise here. The believer thinks before they speak.
		

			The hypocrite does not think before they speak in fact that Imam Hassan bossy Rahim Allah set the
number one distinguisher between the movement and the monographic between a believer and a hypocrite
is that the believers tongue is filtered by their hearts before they say anything, it's behind their
heart, they consider whether or not this is appropriate and whether or not this will benefit them
are harmed them, and then they speak through that. Whereas the hypocrite speaks first and then
considers only if they find some sort of consequence in this life. So the very first basis here is
an adjunct to Mina Shavon. hastiness is from the Shavon. If a person is very quick with their
		

			speech, they're going to make a lot of mistakes. And if a person talks too much, they're going to
make a lot of mistakes. The last two minutes Shavon means the pace at which you speak, something
comes up, and you say something very fast, and the prophets lie Selim said a person ends up in the
depths of hellfire with a Kadima law you'll Kyla Bala, he didn't even think about it when he said it
said it so quickly. So casually. He just quickly said it, or quickly typed it quickly commented so
if you're accustomed to quick commentary, you're most likely going to fall in this and as a model
the Allahu Anhu said, if you're accustomed to a lot of commentary, men Catholic Allahu Kathrada suck
		

			too. If you talk too much, you're going to end up making too many mistakes. And you're going to end
up when Kathrada Sato Catherine denoble on Kathrada de novo Cannington. Now Olavi if a person makes
too many mistakes, then their sins will pile up. And then if a person has too many sins, then
Hellfire becomes a more likely destination for them. So if you talk too fast, and if you talk too
much, you're likely to end up in trouble. So at the very minimum here, the believer has a process in
which they think about what they're going to say before they say it. And especially when someone
else's name gets mentioned. Why? Because if it's something sinful, that you say, that doesn't
		

			involve someone else, then the process of redemption. The process of Toba at the end of the day
comes back to only you and Allah subhanaw taala. But once someone else's name was brought into it,
then the process of Toba becomes a lot more complicated. Of course, there is a path to Toba, but it
becomes more complicated it becomes more difficult because now you have someone else that is
involved. And so the believer especially takes precaution when someone else isn't
		

			Name as mentioned, once someone else's name is mentioned, the believer puts another filter there.
And Imam Al Ghazali Rahim Allah Tana, he was asked about how he himself because he was known. And
this is one of the signs of the Salah when he was known that he wouldn't say anything bad about
anybody. And by the way, Subhan Allah, if you look at the righteous, and may Allah make us amongst
them, and you think about their secrets as Imam Malik Rahim, Allah used to say that every righteous
person has a secret. Usually the secret is that that person does not back by that person will not
say anything bad about anybody else. These are the secrets of the righteous people that meet Allah
		

			subhanaw taala their tongues remain free. So because I owe him a holla. He was he's asked about this
and he kind of unravels this a bit. And he says, Well, the first thing he said, I don't mention
anybody else's name, or I don't hear anyone mentioned, except that I imagined it to so water to who?
John Allison Emami, except that I think of that person sitting in front of me before I say anything.
That's the first, the first line of defense here for Backbiting is that libre has some cowardice to
it, doesn't it? It's cowardly. Liba is cowardly, right that you say things about people when they're
not there? And so the very first line of defense is if that person is present, would you still say
		

			it? So he said the first thing is to imagine that person sitting there with you. Would you still be
able to say the same thing about that person if they were sitting at the table? Now someone might
say, well, you know what, I would say it to their face.
		

			And they would praise that as a quality they call it straightforwardness. And all it is is straight
shape on this. It just means that you have absolutely no height. You have no modesty, no shame and
the prophets heights and I'm set either them to stay false, not much it? Do you have no shame, do
what you want. So it just means you're a shameless person. Right that you would say I'd say it to
their face, I would disrespect and disgrace that person to their face. That's not how the solder
Hain think. So the very first thing is no way. If that person is sitting in front of me, would I say
that, but he mentioned three levels. So that's the first level is to imagine that person right in
		

			front of you. And Ramadan is a time for us to be conscious of the things that we often don't take
into consideration. As soon as someone has mentioned. Imagine that person is in the conversation.
Imagine they're in the group. Imagine they're at the table, whatever you have to do put them in
front of you before you say anything about them. And he says part of our Gohan Mouki Ron levy Laban
inlanta. So water to who Johnny Sampha call to fee, ma you hippo and yes, schmuck. Locanda How will,
he said a nun some people said some of the real amount the rightest once said
		

			that I don't say anything about anyone, except that I first imagined that person is sitting in front
of me. For call to fee Ma, you have Bo? So I say about that person. What I know that person would
love to be said about them. You mentioned some sayings from Ahmed, Pablo, the Allahu Taala animal.
And by the way, Rama or the Allahu Anhu was a tough person, right? Tough in the good sense. He's a
thoughtful, he's the one who distinguishes between truth and falsehood. And usually people that
backbite are people that are aggressive towards others. They justify it by saying this is my nature.
I'm the person of the house. I have to tell the truth. Right? How many times do you see our model
		

			the Allahu Anhu backbiting? After the prophets lie Selim one of the most narrated about companions
in the top five of the narrated about companions to model the Allahu Anhu trashing anyone behind
their back in the name of the Huck in the name of the truth? No. Amato, the Allahu Anhu actually
says that when your brother is mentioned, call him only be a happy smile and he like the names that
he loves to hear most about himself. What are the nicknames? What are the names that person likes?
And with the best of qualities that that person likes to hear about themselves before you even say
anything about them first call them by their best names and call them by their best qualities before
		

			you say anything about them and then say about them only what they would love to be said about them.
		

			A call to fee. Now you hipbone and Yes, ma'am. I say about that person after like they're sitting in
the gathering, they're in the group what I know they would love to hear about themselves, if they
were present. There's a third level. It's kind of like this one really struck me. It's a very
powerful statement. He says, what kind of alpha Maluka Afeni Illa. So what are two Neff sci fi
security he pulled to V he missed DOMA or hippo a new car. Luffy says such powerful words. And I
hope I can deliver it because it's hard even just to really, I think immerse yourself in what these
people are saying. One group said that I do not or if someone is mentioned in front of me. I don't
		

			say anything except to sell water to Neff. See, I imagined myself to be that person. And I don't
		

			Say except what I would love to be sad about me my UCOL who fear, what I'd love to be said about me.
And this is the highest level of exam. This is the highest level of excellence. Why? Law, you know,
I
		

			think you might have enough. See, no one of you believes and so he lost his brother when he lost
himself, that you actually even put yourself in that situation. And say, if I was the subject,
here's how I would love to be spoken about right now. And then that's what you say. Because that
makes the other person almost irrelevant to how you carry yourself and your relationship with Allah
subhanaw taala and your character and etiquettes you want them to be at a level to where they are
and into interfere will cannot be, you know, diminished by any other presence.
		

			It's just you and Allah subhanaw taala. So as soon as someone else has mentioned,
		

			to so water to an FC, I put myself in that place, as if I'm the one being spoken about. And then I
say about myself at that point, what I would love to be said about myself, but I would love to hear
about myself, your brothers and sisters, we're living in a time where HYAH is being lost and always
right shamelessness in our social morality seamlessness and dress shamelessness, and speech
shamelessness and our the way we conduct our affairs shamelessness in the masjid shamelessness
outside, there's a lot of lack of shame.
		

			And this is one of the ways that the etiquettes of your brother or sister should be taken into
consideration. And you know what some of you are thinking, Well, look, I can't think that long
before I say something, right? You know, like I'm going to conversation how much time am I going to
take when a subject is brought up to actually sit there and think about it because you know, you
know that burning feeling like something comes up on Whatsapp group, if I don't respond in the next
20 minutes La hawla wala Quwata illa Allah, the whole world is going to fall apart, the community is
going to die. Yeoman kuleana will happen if I don't respond right now. I have to I have to say
		

			something right now. No, you know what, slow down, slow down. Take a step back. Man counting up,
we'll be lucky William and Arthur, failure will hire only as much.
		

			And if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all, until you can think of something
good to say. And if it's a subject that needs to be deliberated, and something needs to be spoken
about, then disconnect the person's honor from that subject. So much so that you would not be
disgracing them in any way whatsoever. As you speak about the subject. That person that's sitting
next to you right now is sacred. And that person that's not sitting next to you, but that shares
that bond of dialogue, Allah Muhammad Rasul Allah, even if you don't even meet them, if you never
meet them in your entire life, know that their honor is more sacred than the cap. Their honor is
		

			more sacred than the Kaaba, the direction of our Qibla. And so that person next to you that you may
have just met, they have that right upon you. So think of those three levels Number one,
		

			first and foremost, imagine that person sitting with you. Would you still say number two, imagine
that person sitting and what they would like to hear if they were sitting there. Number three, and
this is the best method. This is the people of exon May Allah make us amongst other people of
excellence. Imagine if you were the subject being spoken about what would you love to hear and then
let that guide your speech may Allah subhanaw taala purify our speech, purify our eyes, purify our
hearing, and more than anything else, purify our hearts alum I mean, does that come alongside us and
I want to come on time to come