Nouman Ali Khan – When We Fight Each Other #4
AI: Summary ©
The conflict between conflicting groups has been resolved, leading to a need for a safe space for private talks in arbitration cases. The conflict has been resolved, but negotiations continue. The legal system is becoming more transparent, and the need for a public trial is crucial to avoiding war and criminal behavior. The importance of peace and justice is emphasized, along with the need for a fair trial and fostering holiness in one's life. The use of words like "has" and "has" does not carry any meaning, and it is sadistic for believers. fostering faith and brotherhood is crucial to achieving justice and avoiding suffering.
AI: Summary ©
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once again, everyone, I would like to welcome you to this hotel, which is part of the series of hotels that I've been giving on the same aisle, this is the ninth I have sold a lot chart is the 49th surah. So it's 49 nine that we've been talking about. And it's a place where a lead describes a scenario in which believing communities are fighting each other or having conflict with each other and what to do. And so I've spent three years getting up to the part for us we have a nomad and make reconciliation between them and what that would mean. And now we're going to move forward from there.
So just says for him Bahati, the homeowner had an opportunity Wi Fi in the lab. So in order to help you understand that, I want you to think of it as two groups of people that are having an argument, maybe it was two individuals that turned into two groups, or it's two groups all together, and they've got this big fight going on between them. And you've got so there's Group A, and there's Group B. And like I said before, there's the rest of us that are Group C. And so we're the ones that are being addressed. So the Quran doesn't actually directly address A or B, it addresses see the rest of us, and what to do with those two groups that are fighting it out with each other and your
witness to it. What are you supposed to do? Well, the first thing we read about was do everything you can to make peace between them falsely Robaina home. But then let's just say that, you know, you sat down for arbitration, and everybody's on the same table, you've got that party, and they've got, you know, the two opposing parties and be across from each other on the table. And you're negotiating a peace settlement between them, you're the one arbitrator, and well, here's what you did wrong, here's what you did wrong, let's have a little different take, let's make this work. Let's shake hands on it, and you kind of make this peace deal. Now that sounds like a, you know, a
peace treaty being negotiated at the United Nations or something. But it can happen in a family, it can happen in the community, it can happen in a business disagreement, and it can actually happen at the level of nations and societies. And it can even happen in courts, you know, lots of courts, for example, before you take a civil matter to the court for a trial, they mandate that you take it for arbitration meaning said, you know, talk it out and see if you can work it out without taking it all the way to court. Right. So this is kind of a backroom negotiation, it's a private discourse, where everybody gets to air out what their concerns were. And this is actually a part of reconciling
things. You need to create a safe space where both sides can share their grievances. And it's not being broadcast to everybody. You know, there's only the what the Quran in other places will call hukam. Right? There are people that are wise enough to negotiate a peace between two sides. And that wisdom doesn't necessarily come from random screen names on social media. So open public is not the place to make something DS
escalate the open public discussion about a discourse disagreement is only an opportunity to escalate something out of proportion. But let's the two grieving parties, the two parties that actually have a problem with each other, let's get them together in a room, let's get somebody responsible to hear both sides out. So they're not feeling like they're being pulled put in a corner, that one person is being, you know, or one group is being cited with, or one being one is being favored. We've already talked about the impartiality of it, all right, and now in this private setting, where they can actually openly say, this is what happened to us. And this is what they did.
We don't want to broadcast their wrongs towards us. But we have disagreements, and it needs to be addressed. Right. So there's a difference between addressing the issue you have, and broadcasting the issue you have with someone else. If you want to address there's a there's a platform, there's an environment that the rest of us are supposed to be able to create. Where these things can be addressed in a mature way. Well, why not? Why Why not be able to talk to anybody about what's going on? Well, because when word spreads between people, then it mutates, you know, kids play a game called telephone. Right? So you tell one person, one thing, by the time they pass it to another
person, another person, another person, the grievance may have been, they hit me, this person slapped me. And by the time it spread, man, they slapped everyone in their family, they lined them all up and tied them up, and then they beat them up. And it's exaggerated. So out of proportion, you don't even know what the original issue was. Because now it's been rumors. And I heard a lot of people are saying, you know, you know what everybody's saying and who's everybody? Nobody knows, right? So it's escalated. And the Quran wants things to de escalate and the actual issue and grievance to be resolved. So when you have that set down, and you have this, you know,
negotiation going on, you notice any serious negotiation between conflicting parties is never broadcast. Every time there's a serious like, if there's a family conflict, and you really need to resolve it, the door has to be closed. The adults are talking in the room, they need to figure something out. There's a there's a court there's a, you know, back room in the court where the arbitration needs to take place, or there are highly, highly secure rooms, where government officials can speak freely about their reservations. And the media isn't even allowed in there. While the negotiations are going on the final resolution they can broadcast to the community, the
world. But the negotiations themselves are private, you understand that? And what is why is that important as majority to build a manatee when negotiations are happening when a piece is being negotiated when a conflict is being resolved in a private gathering, then everyone who is in that gathering is sworn to secrecy. Every one of them got to have a seat on that table, because they are supposed to hold that that what is discussed in this meeting is in this meeting, and the only thing that will come out of this meeting that will be shared with someone else is what we all agree can be shared. So you can't be one of these people and go out and say, Man, that was a hard meeting also
hard. Let me tell you can't talk here. I'll tell you over lunch. You can't do that. That's a violation of that meeting, you understand. So he says now that this negotiation happened, hands are shaken hugs are given forgiveness, a is no longer mad at B, these no longer met at a we're going to put that behind us. We're going to move forward, the conflict is over. Right. Everybody's happy. Now we come out of that settlement. And the announcement is made that this conflict is over. This has been negotiated. It's been settled, it's been taken care of and what does that mean? That means the rest of you don't get to say hey, what do you mean, it's over?
I mean, I'm still angry, I still want to, it's not my fight, but I want to be angry on behalf of someone else and keep the fire burning. Because I kind of find it entertaining. Or you really you negotiated you accepted a peace? How could you?
Like the people that had to resolve the matter have already resolved it? But then what is the devil do well, these people resolved it but other people are not satisfied with peace. It's not it's not juicy enough. It's not spicy enough in life. So they want to make sure they go back to A and B and urge them to undo what they just did.
You see, it could also be that they agree this is the kind of hypocrisy that when you're behind closed doors, you come to an agreement. Everybody shakes hands, okay, this is what we've agreed on. Right? And the moment you walk out of there. First you violate the sanctity of the confidentiality of that agreement. Any one of you a B or C
or a says, You know, I signed up and I agreed to this piece, but I wasn't really happy about it. I felt like I was being cornered in. So I just got bullied into signing on to this but i didn't i don't really agree. The time to say that was when you were in
That room, the time to say that is not when you come out of it, you understand. So what they do is they'll say, this closed door piece. But they come out and say, Well, no, there wasn't really a piece, I didn't really agree this was all a scam or whatever else. That's not what happened inside. And so they go back to the fighting for whatever from outside influences or from the hypocrisy they wanted to generate in and of themselves, paranoia, they feel like there was a bias, therefore, they don't agree to it. Well, if you felt there was a bias, you shouldn't have agreed to it to begin with. Right? So now the scenario is, even after a piece has been reached, a settlement has been
reached, a negotiation has been agreed on one of the parties A or B, one of them, goes back and violates it again,
and starts crossing the line against the other group again, they pick up the fight again. And now the other group had literally laid down their arms, they're no longer on guard, because they figure we've reached a peace, we don't have to fight anymore. So they there were they weren't expecting to be attacked again, and they get attacked again. Now, again, this could be military in a political sense, this could be verbal abuse, they could this could be any kind of scenario where human beings have conflict, right? So they start getting slandered or slammed again. No, where does this come from? We I thought we agreed with it. How could you do this? So when Allah Allah says here, that if
one of those groups A or B violates the agreement,
then what should happen? For karti lunati to agree, then all of you should fight the one who violated
In other words, allies no longer talking about making peace. He's saying these people didn't respect a piece that was reached.
That means they're no longer at odds with B A is no longer fighting with B. A has declared that they are also fighting with see the rest of us
because they violated an agreement all of us reached. So they're no longer the enemy to be if they're violating they will be fought back, not just be has the right to fight them back. Everybody must fight them back now. Everybody was going against them. Now. They have to be singled out, because they did this. They brought this on themselves. Allah says fight, the one who referred so so now is on their own and b and c are together fighting them, you understand, and that's sanctioned by Allah. And the language is remarkable had that FBI umbrella, until the group that rebelled the group that violated the peace, the group that went back on its word after shaking hands, until they return
to the command of Allah.
It's incredible language because a negotiated peace is something that is that is reached by human back and forth. three groups of human beings were talking to each other, trying to reach a settlement. But once people in good faith reach a settlement, unless stampset as his own divine verdict violating that is violating the command of Allah.
Like they're not violating an eye of the Quran. They're not violating commandment in the law. They're violating the agreement that they themselves reached, you understand? So when what does that teach us in the Quran, when people in good faith agree on something, then violating that is actually a crime against God?
If you and I have a contract, if we have an agreement, if we have a promise towards each other, and I break that promise, I'm not just violating you, I'm violating a law zolgensma himself, the command of himself. So he says, fight them until they come back to the command of Allah had that defeat a llama for In fact, okay, now that a thought that they're just going to pick a fight would be and if things go bad, we'll go back to the negotiating table. That's not what Allah says, No, you're gonna get fucked by everybody. Now. You're going to get slammed by everybody. So they back off and say, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, we're backing up. Let's let's just move on peace again. All
right, so the ones who were acting criminally, now they say they want peace again? What should you do in this case? Unless as far as Nickleby nahama then now make peace between them again.
But then you're like, we already tried that. We did that. And they went back on it. And always listening. It's like almost asking us to be gullible, right? So you want to bring them back on the table, negotiate it again, what's to say they will break it again. But Allah adds a different clause this time, the next time you bring them to the table, the next time you bring them to sit down and discuss, how are we going to reach a peace Allah says, fall asleep obey nahama bill, I believe
he has two things. Make sure you peace make peace between them this time with justice and other can also mean open justice. And what does that mean? It's no longer a closed door. It's a public hearing. Everybody gets to hear every side
Every part of the process is now public. I mean, it's it's embarrassing that all the dirty laundry is being brought on in public. But when people are going to say that the negotiations that happen behind closed doors, we, you don't know what happened in there, we got bullied, it wasn't this way. And that way, well, we can't trust closed doors anymore, because you're questioning everybody's credibility, the only way to make sure that you no longer get to question, the process by which the piece was reached, is that the entire process must not become what transparent, the whole thing should have been publicly done with justice, like in an open courtroom kind of thing, you
understand. So let's have to bring them back. But now it's got to be a public and humiliating trial. That's just what it's got to be. That's the only way to keep this in check. But then he adds another clause, fine. Now we get it, we just, you know, a private confidential kind of meeting is no longer in order, because they violated that to begin with. So they don't have the right to that anymore. And you have to protect yourself too. So you have to lay everything out in public. Understood. He says what looks it looks interesting, because it's a similar almost a synonym for either, either means justice just means justice to he says, What are you doing, make sure you're not unfair? I'm
being as literal to the etymology as possible, because this actually an asset and looks at our different assets as someone who does injustice and looks at as someone who makes sure he doesn't do injustice. So as if the Quran is saying, make peace between them fairly, and then as on and make sure you're not unfair?
Why would Why would you because when you say do something fairly, that already means you're making sure you're not unfair. So why add this additional clause? And make sure you're not unfair? And make sure you don't cross the line? Why? Because the first time when you came to trial, a had a fight with B, right?
And who was the neutral party See,
the second time when he came back to the courtroom, and B's on the other side, C is still the judge. But this time C is mad, because C already sat in that place already reached an agreement, and he broke the rules, right? So this time C is not sitting there on the judges, Chair neutral, C sitting in the judges chair upset, and who are they upset at a or b? they're upset at a because they broke the rule and when a law even sanction them, that USC along with B are gonna go fight it. I know, this sounds like the alphabet algebra, but keep up with me. Right? So now the judge is actually angry at the one that they just fought. And as they started getting fired, they said, No, no, no.
Okay, let's make peace again. Let's make peace again.
So now, as you're sitting there, there is lots of room for emotional bias against them. They're almost criminal, or not innocent, guilty, unless they can prove they're innocent. You see, when you come into a courtroom, you assume innocence on both sides. But now the judge himself or herself or the group knows, these people are criminal to begin with. So the entire process of justice which which is predicated it depends on the assumption that the person you are trying is going to be assumed innocent until there is explicit proof that they are what guilty until that's the case, you cannot have that preconceived notion about them. Now, your experience with these people has made you
think of them as a criminal, rightfully so. But that means that even other matters in which they may be right, listen to this carefully. In other matters in which they might even have a right, you're not going to give them that right because you've already labeled them as a criminal, therefore, they don't have rights that like the rest of us do. They can't be trusted, like the rest of us can be trusted. They are evil, they're the bad guys needing to be put in their place. In other words, now justice will not be served. It's almost as though your team B already. You're against Team A. He says when you sit in that judges chair the second time, you need to make sure that you avoid
injustice,
a bias against someone and a bias in favor of someone, both of them the Quran condemns.
It's a delicate situation. What the Quran is teaching us here is when you you know because of what we come to hear about somebody or some group, or because of our experience with a person or a group. Because of that, we develop a notion about how they are going to be not just what they did, what they will do, who they will be, we make projections about what kind of person they are. And that keeps us from being fair in our dealings with them.
So on the one hand, Allah says fight them. On the other hand, Allah says Don't be quick to judge them even after you fought them is such an incredible, like standard of balance. And it's such an incredible human reality that it's hard to
Ignore, I mean, I'm going to have a bias towards someone who had no respect for the fact that I negotiated a piece, I just had to fight them, I'm going to have lack of respect for them, I'm going to have a lack of, I'm not going to be biased towards them. And obviously, you're going to feel a camaraderie and a closeness to the person you've stood next to when you fought. So you're going to be leaning more towards B. And Allah says, No. And then he says, and why must you do this? Why must you make sure that you're fair towards them in the law, your head will make certain There is no doubt about it. It is, in fact, Allah, He loves those who stay away from being unfair. And this is a
remarkable subtlety in the Quran. You see, when you have this Joomla isthmian format,
I won't get into grammatical complexities because this is a whole bot. I'll give you the bottom line. It says fella saying, God is the one that loves those who are fair. In other words, when you go out of your way to be fair, even to those that everybody hates,
then everybody's gonna hate you. Why are you being fair to them? They're not even gonna say fair, why are you being so soft on them? Because they want extra punishment for them, you understand? They want to justify their rage against them. And you're saying, No, no, we're gonna be fair. And we're gonna treat equal, you treat equal these people, these people you want to talk about, you want to favor them, and everybody will be mad at you, because you're standing up for justice. And the lesson is, that is the time where you must remember that the only one who will love you when you stand up for justice, is Allah.
Allah, in fact, is the one who loves those who stay away from being unfair. Because being not being unfair, in that circumstance, holding on to the principles of justice against your own biases, and the biases of your people. And the biases of your group. And the biases of your family will make all of them think that you're not loyal enough to them, and you're not, you're not loyal to them, you're not loyal to a you're not loyal to be, you're loyal to justice, because you want allies love not theirs. That's the standard for a judge that I'll put it in the
in the law, your head will no city.
When you study this carefully, you know what dawns on you and me what, like the reality that hits us, we are so quick to judge in life.
And we love being in the position of passing judgment, whether just in here, or on our tongues or in dealings. But if we understood the kind of standard a lot of places on people that are going to pass judgment,
then we would really want to check ourselves because we're really quick to let me put somebody else in check. Let me execute justice on them. But the higher more than the majority of this I wasn't even about the person on trial.
Most of this is about the person putting themselves in a position of passing judgment,
and what standard they must have to hold themselves up to. And that's a really hard question to ask myself and you to ask yourself, are we meeting the expectations of Alexey Thien these people that Allah loves, that they make sure they're not leaning towards the unfair in the lives of
the people around the Prophet social and learn these things, and they became super sensitive to these things. They developed a hypersensitivity to being fair. We have hypersensitivity, that someone is being unfair to us.
The Sahaba had hypersensitivity, the people around the Prophet lism, they had hypersensitivity, that they might be unfair towards someone else.
You had a scenario in which one companion comes to another with a dispute. And the companions are Muslims. And the dispute was in Medina with the Jewish man.
Right. So now a Jewish man, and one of the companions has a dispute. And they come to one of the Muslims, one of the companions and say, you know,
I, I'd like you to judge between us. Right. So it was on Isla de la Horne, who had a dispute with a Jewish man, and they came to Walmart for judgment under the rule of law
and order, and how do you love each other? their companions, they fought side by side on the battlefield. They trust and they've heard each other's praise from the tongue of the Prophet himself, slice them, so they don't question each other's character. Right.
And so they come. And, you know, so you want to hear both sides of the story because you're a judge, right? And so you're going to hear the Jewish man side and you're going to hear the side. And when he's when he asked for any side, he says about Hassan.
He said, so what's your side who has a father of Hasson which is like a nickname husband's dad because his name his son's name is what hasn't at least stopped him right there. He said, You called me by a nickname. You didn't call him by a nickname. You can't be fearing judgment. We're taking our case elsewhere.
Because there's this hypersensitivity.
No, no, no, I don't want you to judge this case. So I when I want you to judge this case, so we're making sure that we're fair. And even if I sense that your love for me made you see my nickname instead of my name, and you didn't say his nickname, that means you have an emotional bias towards me. And I'm not going to forward this trial, I take it back, you know, what he actually gave the the Jewish man what he wanted him to dispute, and I have a dispute anymore, because I don't want to be labeled as someone being unfair. He's not concerned about Omar will be upset, he's not concerned about his material laws, he's concerned that a lot of white might see him as someone who veered away
from justice.
That's the sensitivity a believer needs to develop. That's the sensitivity you and I need to develop. So you know, when allows, oh, just as in desire, walks into, in the law, your head will not sit in, you know, we we get people quote these out, and I've seen, you know, sometimes I pick out of the Quran to make holebas about and to take time to talk about, because I see in our culture and Muslim culture, often, we take things that are said in the Quran, in a very surface way, and we use them in ironically, we use them in the most unfair way, like people have in my lifetime, use this ayah to describe why they're fighting somebody. Really, you're going to use this ayah to describe
why you are fighting somebody, have you met the conditions of this ayah? Before you so boldly get to use God's word as a justification to slap somebody across the face.
You know, we have to be humble before Allah is word Where can you go to La Jolla, the word of Allah, it is in the highest place, we cannot place ourselves above the word of Allah, and then use its quotes, the way we think we're going to get what we want. That's that's not what these words are for. That's not what Scripture is, for. That's not what revelation is for, that we can quote it to win arguments that we can quote it to justify our anger, that we can quote it to justify our biases,
that we can quote it to create a gang mentality. That's not what this is for. This is for you and me to really put ourselves in check.
And it's after this statement, as I conclude with you this call but it is after this statement, that the famous axiom in the Koran occurs in numbers, meaning that believers are nothing but brothers.
You see, saying people that share the same faith, our brothers are nothing short of brothers is a beautiful thing. But think about where Allah said that.
Allah said right after he talked about people fighting each other. And then he talked about how hard it is and how hard you have to what a high standard you have to hold yourself to, to make sure that you're not going to be unfair, even against against those who clearly have been unfair.
Because the response to unfairness is not unfairness.
So if you can do that, then you get to understand what it means to be brothers.
And if you don't understand this previous Island, and you just said all believers are brothers, um, then it's a very shallow that's just the word brother. It doesn't really mean anything. It doesn't carry any meaning. What there's a new rich meaning to brotherhood, after you study the ayah before and this is number 10, about brotherhood, foster holiness, awaken, then make peace between your brothers. Why, because if they are truly your brother, if they are, they feel like bled to you then you want good for them, even when you're mad at them. You don't want their destruction.
You feel no victory by you know, overcoming them. Even when they're obnoxious towards you hurtful towards you, even when they're going down the wrong road, as mad as you are at them over and above the anger towards them is your love for them.
And when they're in trouble after messing up themselves, you don't say suits you, right? You still want to help them, and you still want to help them find a way back. That's the sentiment towards brothers. When you don't have that then once you have this, yeah, these people, they had it coming. They deserve it. And you kind of feel kind of this almost pleasure inside at the misfortune of someone else. When they get the shorter end of the stick or when they get tough justice leveled against them. It pleases you in some way inside Iran, they got a good they had a coming they got put in their place. It gives you some kind of a sadistic pleasure to see someone put down even if
justice was served that shouldn't be making you happy. Because that's your own brother.
That shouldn't be making you happy. That wasn't that's not the sentiment of faith. This is why right after justice because you know what, what happens in nowadays, right? When people are in court and when they have a trial or something else. When the court trial is over and one side wins and the other side loses. You come outside and they interview the person who won and the person who lost right and the person who was real happy like yeah, they got what they deserved. And
But there's this like, you know, joy and jubilation and people around them are also join us in celebrating because they got there they got their peace. What is teaching us a different picture? Yeah, sometimes there are actual oppressors that need to be put in place, and there is a relief that you get that justice will serve. But in many of these cases, it's just one conflict. And you just want to see a person destroyed because of one conflict. And you get pleasure out of that. That is the furthest thing from you considering a believer, brother.
And he says, in the moment, we know what people have true faith, they're nothing but brothers, you know what that means? If I can't feel that way towards my fellow believer, then I'm not really a believer. Because if I were I would feel that way. That's what the Quran is saying. They work both ways, don't they? It's only believers that will feel this way. And if so, if I don't feel this way, then what kind of believer am I? You know, it's this. It's the same as before just looking at something at a surface level as a sticker, as a label that you and I wear, but it doesn't really have any meaning. I pray that our faith and our brotherhood and our sensitivity to justice has real
meaning in our lives, and allows origin resistance amongst those who are not sitting and are in fact what Allah Allah Allah come to him would have been mindful of Allah so all of you may be showing us loving care. barakallahu Welcome to Quranic Hakim. When Finally we are coming at you with the King
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