Nouman Ali Khan – The Qurans Remedy For Sadness

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I don't want to go through the whole two times some people to like, you know, raise their voice on the second slot. So hopefully I get a good time.

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So, we'd like to get the event started. So before starting the that we would like to ask

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him to come on the stage and they said a few verses for each other. So I'd like to invite him to

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Santa Monica.

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This means

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Yo,

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yo p.

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e.

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This may learn many more

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for the

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last three years, all

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summer

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long

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for the beautiful recitation. With that recitation, I'd like to invite our chaplain for the Queen's college Muslim Student Association, to give us a come to the podium and translate the eyes for us. So with that being said, after we

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set up

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the 93rd chapter of the Quran surah

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in the Name of God, the Most Merciful, the most, the most compassionate,

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why the morning brightness, and by the night when it collides with darkness,

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without Lord has not forsaken you, nor has it become displeased.

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And surely what comes after is better for you than what has gone before.

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And your Lord is going to give you and you will be satisfied.

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They did not find you an orphan and give you refuge

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And He found you lost and guided you. And he found your pool, and made you self sufficient. So as for the often don't oppress him

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and for for him who asks, don't repel him. And but as for the favor of you a lot do announce it.

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And the second chapter of a man read was The 92 fourth chapter of the Quran. So

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in the Name of God, the Most Merciful, the most compassionate

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it will not expand for you, your breast and we removed from you your birth

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which had weighed upon, on your back and exhausted for your your esteem For indeed, with hardship with the ease, indeed, with hardship will be easy ease. So when you have finished your duties, then stand up for another.

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And to your Lord, direct your long game.

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Dr. Lee for the transition, and i'm not i'm pretty sure you guys are not here to hear me speak. So without further ado, I'd like to invite

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the Nevada economy to the podium for the topic that we haven't had

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was

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one of our team,

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some discussions,

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that

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knowledge based approach to the literature and to our sacred texts, and it's actually in some sense removed from our personal experience. And sometimes people go through things and emotions in their life challenges in our personal lives, all of us have them every one of us has different sets of challenges with friends and family, especially with family. And you might even be Aboriginal some might even start thinking like the Quran, which is of course dealing with bigger things is probably not dealing with how I'm feeling, it probably is not the place to go to to figure out my emotional issues, my personal issues that I'm can't be that specific. And so that's actually an idea I'd like

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to counter and I'd like to try and present an alternative narrative that abroad, in fact, addresses pretty much every dilemma of the human being goes through every human being goes through either physical, moral, spiritual, internal psychological crises, and allies always haven't revealed this book to us. And the beautiful Sunday is messenger, some 11 audience for them to actually help us navigate these crises because he made us with these emotions. When I was a student of psychology. Incidentally, I studied psychology here, please college along the way, many, many years ago. And one of my professors when studying abnormal psychology, he even said at the end of one of his lectures,

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because I was really intrigued, every time he would give a lecture about abnormal psychology, depression, you know, especially depression, anxiety, things like that. I'd have a discussion with him afterwards because of because the parallels I saw with what he was saying and what I've been studying,

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and in one of his just candid moments after the lecture,

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He just said when we pull it inside, when we tell you something, human beings are just so *

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flawed. That's what he told me. And that's actually a pretty good summary of how Western civilization looks at human personality, human beings are essentially flawed, right? And let's just try to patch up those flaws with pills or, you know, psychotherapy or whatever, one way or another. Let's patch up this broken human being this broken creature that has so many issues in so many problems. Now, you might think if you look at the world around you, and even your personal life, that Yeah, you know what, there seems to be quite a bit of overwhelming evidence that human beings are flawed, that we are broken, in many ways that we have these weird quirks and we can't find the

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solutions for them. But as a matter of fact, a lot of religion, on the contrary, teaches us in the Koran that he creators, US created us in the highest with the most nobility, and in the best possible upright form. And the interesting word, probably all of you know the setup, the insanity accident, the creme

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de la creme de la creme, deserves a lot of attention, because it comes from the origin of the word karma, which means to stand, and the willingness to make something stand and keep it standing. And it's actually used in when when building structures is used when you put structures together that aren't supposed to fall apart. So if your kids are playing with blocks, that's not the queen. Why? Because you can just knock it over. Chances are they themselves will knock it over. But that's, that's not the point. But a stroke of built structure that's not going anywhere is built with me and set me because it's what are the linguistics lesson here, just really quick that bream. What that

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does in the Arabic languages, allies origin is taking credit for making us upright for building us in a firmly that the human found, the human being is actually built on very firm foundation. And Allah takes pride in that in the Quran. He takes pride in that before he even makes that statement, he swears he takes several oaths, what Dean was a totally see mean will have the ability I mean, then, that insanity actually took me. And in that I also said after that you see the neck recreated the human being after the oaths, the V is not the normal formula for are actually the who are the he is the normal for the neuron. But when the loved ones are special attention on something, and he

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says this is this is not just any creation, this is special creation, he'll resort to the first person world in the Quran. And that's the week that the NA in some political events are able

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to come into this is actually to illustrate how close it is to the human being. That when he mentioned his creation of the human being uses the first person, anybody, even with a little bit of rudimentary knowledge of language knows that the third person is far late. And the first person is obviously close. So when I use it, the first person, I'm talking about our creation, he's actually from the very beginning from the act of creation, expressing his closeness ties. And so that's actually not the topic of my lecture, but I wanted to use that as an introduction, that in our worldview, in the Islamic worldview of dealing with I mean, what they call this mental illness,

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right, that's what they call it nowadays, but we don't call it an illness. We don't call it an illness that from a sonic point of view, actually one day you people, how many psych students here only psychology students Good, very good, good to see hands Mashallah keep it up and get a 4.0 GPA and pursue your PhD and inshallah study blog extensively in the Seelye extensively because you will be the people that will develop an alternative view of personality when you take personality theory courses and they study behavioral and you know, the you know, the all these different like you know neurosciences and all of this stuff to figure out what human personality is the facade has its own

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very dynamic picture of what the personality is, and what will heal this human being and keep this building from falling apart. Now, when you do build a building, when you do build a structure, then naturally everything a lot created on this earth. Everything a lot created on this earth a lot give it a quality especially to human beings. He says this total rock man couldn't do Malaika fun. Everyone on this earth every human being that is nine refers to the living and includes the Jin also uses the word Phantom Phantom Phantom is something that is meant to die.

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That is something that's got a timer on it. In other words, it's winding itself down. See me yet Illuminati have made it means everything will die. But khulumani have fun means everything will eventually deteriorate and die. It is meant to wind down you know, the clock is ticking on every one of us. So in a building just like in a building, there's deterioration happening. But when deterioration happens you blame the architect you say name is architected do a good job with the paint chipping and the bricks are falling apart, etc. The plumbing is no good anymore. But actually when the human being starts having issues that start because the architect mix missed something, but

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by design it was supposed to actually

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We go through certain challenges that was by design that was actually put inside the human being we were not created, you know, creatures without challenges. But those challenges, we should not call them flaws. They're actually challenged tests that a lot put inside of us emotional ones, physical ones, those are tests that all of us have to go through. Interestingly, the Arabs don't understand this about Arab society, pre Islam, the Arabs were very keen on psychology and emotion, they were really they were really in touch with their emotions, with their poetry and their language. And like one of the most beautiful expressions I found in Arabic about psychology, they say, oh, but holding

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the gentleman solid, as it perhaps words can hurt more than a beating does. They understood that words can actually have an impact on not physically you're not injured, you're not bleeding when somebody says mean things to you, but they can tear you down, they can make you not want to get up in the morning, where it can be enough to make somebody suicidal, it happens, where it's a very powerful weapon. So this sort of colonization to the song, it was better off, you give me a reading then said those words to me. And I'm sure all of you probably have experienced some level of that, like words, hurting your emotions, right? So now let's turn to the Quran in sha Allah, and

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specifically one of those areas sadness, one of those emotions, that obviously troubles every one of us, and it's a part of our life, how does one deal with it? First and foremost, and this is, again, for those of you who are aspiring to contribute. And this is what all of you should be thinking, especially those that are going into the psychology field, that I'll try to divide my talk here, this introduction was the rent part, so it doesn't count. So now the talk begins. And I'll try to divide it into three parts. My talk into three parts, the first part of it is actually just some areas that are worth exploring, especially for students of psychology counseling, people that are

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going to do the work of maybe helping others demands and training in moms, I've kept a lot of people with emotional issues coming to them. Or, you know, if you're going into eventually into the work of youth counseling, or you're in a position where you're offering people advice, things like that, then there's some things from the person that you might want to pay attention to, especially dealing with the subject of sadness, and depression. The first word using the Koran for sadness is a lung, there are several words used, and the first undefined is Amazon lying Meme Meme are the root origins, the same word is used, a variation of that word is common, which actually means clouds in

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the sky. And if clouds remain, and no sunlight is able to break through that kind of a cloud is called a llama. Sometimes you have clouds that light comes comes through, sometimes you have cloud clouds, that light is completely blocked, right? And if that remains for a long time, it can get pretty depressing, depressing, right? Whether it is cloudy for extensively or a lot of time, and you don't see sunlight. And it gets pretty depressing, which explains the psychological state of most of the people in the United Kingdom, because it's cloudy most of the time. Right? But, you know, so. And it's weird, like, you know, like Seattle has a really like, weirdly high suicide rate. I'm not

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saying there's a correlation, but it's always,

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you know, it's one of the highest suicide rates in America, even though it's a beautiful state of nature, the, you know, the environment, the architecture, it's a clean city, you know, and it's but but regardless, it's got some major, major issues. But there is a connection, and it's found in virtually every society, happiness is associated with a shiny, bright day. And sadness is associated with what dark clouds and even it makes its way even into literature. So people say things like, you know, there's like a dark cloud overhead.

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You know, you know, there's like, you know, when my, when my, when my husband comes home, it's like a dark cloud,

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or something like that, right? So this is not just limited to ancient era of discourse, but they were very human. And there are some things we share with them. Right, the idea of brightness and light being associated with happiness. Even nowadays, they have these like multibillion dollar like pharmaceutical companies that sell antidepressant pills, and they spend billions of dollars in their advertising industry. And they're showing the lady walking in the sun. And when she's depressed, there's a cloud over the sun. She's sitting there, do you have bad thoughts?

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And then too quickly inside in the in the credits at the end, or the disclaimers at the end? Might be suicidal?

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Yeah, I'm not sad anymore because I'm dead.

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But anyway, so camara is actually a state of unrest. My mom is a state of unrest. And what's going back to the analogy of the clouds, what that's the word lung describes in the Arabic language, a kind of sadness, where the bad thing hasn't happened yet, but you're anticipating the to happen because if there's a lot of dark clouds forming, what does that mean for the era? Well, that means maybe a storm is coming. Some tornadoes coming, right? People before us were a lot more in touch with nature. We're so into our technology. We don't even look at another person's face. We're just stuck in our phone. But people before looked at the sky all the time. And when they saw a lot of

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dark clouds. It was like they were anticipating something bad to happen. Lightning does strike Thunder

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Rain, something could happen and in some cases good, but in many cases bad. Right? Now, this word is used in a very particular context. And I'm not here to discuss every context of every word with you. But what I'm here to suggest is that if a study was made of, for instance, a kind of sadness, where you're anticipating things to get worse. Now the word Islam is used, how is it used in the Koran? What situation is that Allah describe along with, and the study of that, how will that help me deal with someone who keeps thinking the future is bleak, who never sees the bright side of things, who's always looking at the glass half empty, someone who's pessimistic all the time, negative all the

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time, don't look at the person next to you, but

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but it can have a candidate you can have people like that are always donors, they're never happy, they can't just see something, they can't see the good side of something, they have to see the bad side of something. Right. And that is a particular quality of lung. If you have too much lung, that's the kind of person you become. The next term, very popular term is

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commonly used as a poison, and poison in our heart is noon. And this is for one to remain

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unhappy or uneasy about something, you're not settled about something that's keeping you from going to sleep, you keep worrying about something, it's actually the opposite of what actually means you can't sleep because you're too happy.

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That's fine. It's the exact opposite. Now you can't sleep because you're too sad, you're too depressed, you're too worried. You can't just keep thinking about something and it's not letting you go. Maybe you've been looking for a job for a long time. You can't find it. So all you're thinking about you're driving you're thinking about it. Maybe you were about to get married, and two months before the marriage that you know, the other family said no, we don't like you anymore.

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And you're in depression, like I had everything sad you printed the cards.

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It was up on my Facebook page and now

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you know,

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calm

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paid for what yours hosting?

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What am I gonna find another salon?

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Crazy.

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But the idea is that it's it's something that is

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that it's such on, you doesn't say like, the linguist. And the people have lexicons. They say that person is an onset, it sets into a person after an incident, something happens. And as a result, you become depressed. Something you were hoping something worked out early, and it didn't work out your way. Like the old examples you find in the ancient books are like the farmer was looking forward to his crop. And you know, a month before he's gonna harvest a storm comes in destroys the entire farm. All his hopes are torn, torn down, and his entire year's labor is taken away from him, right. So you have high hopes for something and you're looking forward as something is going to bring you joy, and

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it ends up bringing you a great deal of sadness. Closing is actually one of the most common words used to describe sadness in the Koran. So it requires a study in and of itself. But one I at least deserves our attention. Very beautiful, a lot. So it just says many, many, many times in the Koran law. So for me here, you can finish this one for me, that's often not a

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very common one. Right? And that the language of this ayah is remarkable. But I'll give you a little bit of commentary about the commentary about the language of this ayah without whom the word home in the ayah is actually an addition. So you don't you can linguistically say what if

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you could just say

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home Yes alone. And this is done in the Arabic rhetorical. One of the rhetorical devices, the purpose of which is

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to allude to someone who's not there. In other words, a lot of saying they will have no grief, though they will have no fears on the judgment, a believers will have no fears on them. And it won't be they that are in a state of sadness. It's not them that are going to be in a state of sadness, what does that seem to indicate? If it's not them that are in a state of sadness, that means somebody else is going to be the home, they're actually indicates somebody else in between parentheses. That's the beauty of the Arabic language. What we're learning from that is you will have states of sadness in life in this world person will be there. But a perpetual state of sadness

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is actually not for you. And whatever a person you're going through is nothing compared to that person on that day. Whatever grief, you're going through whatever suffering or emotional trauma you're going through, and I'm not minimizing in any in any way. But what am I saying is the puzzle of that day is the actual puzzle. It's the actual puzzle. And it's not like if you feel sad, you must not have good demand. That's not true either. We'll talk about that a little definitely. That would be my second part. Is it true that if we really had in mind we would never be sad? No, absolutely not. That's not true at all. prophets experienced a great deal of sadness. righteous

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people experienced a great deal of sadness. The Quran is full of stories in which one of the central

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themes is sadness itself. Sadness is a part of life, it's a reality of life. The Quran is not there to eliminate sadness, the Quran is here to help us navigate it. Because it is one of the tests of life. Just like happiness is one of the tests of life. Just like anger is one of the tests of life. It's not like you can literally eliminate anger, you can't these are emotions that were programmed inside of us. It's like saying, like you're eliminating one of the things that is inside you like a limb. these are these are the unseen limbs of our of our being, right, these emotions that we have, or aren't teaches us to navigate them in a healthy way. We'll talk about that in my second section.

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So what was the first word just to see you how bad the attention span is out here?

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The second one,

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the third word is and but but but

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this is the one that a lot of people have, by the way, in the contemporary. And Beth is a kind of sadness that is deeply penetrated, it's inside a person. And it starts impacting everything that they do. And they don't, they're not able to verbalize it. They're not able to actually say what it is. So they have this deeply felt sadness inside them, it lingers, and it's always there. So even when the moment comes to smile, the face goes halfway up and comes back down. Right? They're not able to maintain happiness for too long. There are moments like the skies, mostly cloudy, sometimes it's funny. Like that, you know, there are people like that they're just always moping around. You

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know, they're looking looking down all the time. And you're like, why are you in that state is the closest thing in the Arabic language to the, I guess, you know, perpetual depression, people that are in a state of depression. That's called buff. But now because depression is such a huge problem in the world today. And the Muslim Ummah is no exception is no exception. It's a huge problem in the world. This study becomes actually critical for Muslims, studying how this buff alleviated the karma teach us how to do how do we deal with this form of sadness. So there's sadness from a traumatic incident, there's sadness of all the future looks bleak, there's the sadness that's deep inside, and

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you're not able to get it out. It's like the sickness or this sinus, or less like allergy that you just can't get rid of is always there, you're always negative, that's buff. And by the way, if you're like, if you're feeling you're the only one who has this, as a matter of fact, this the word buff occurs in the Koran in one of the hours that a prophet of Allah experience continuous birth and position in the marsh boo, boos Neela I complained about my birth. I'm not translating now. I'm complaining about Allah said, he says, this prophet says, I'm complaining about my birth, and my cousin to

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two teachers, you can even complain to a lot. Just what that teaches us. I don't think anybody else. I talk about my suffering in my pain, you know, and what is it complaining mean? complaining doesn't mean that what come on?

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Help me out here. No, no, you don't when you go to the doctor and complaint.

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You Don't slack the doctor and say, Hey, bro,

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you don't talk about what you want to make.

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You go and complain to the doctor because the complaint is actually a form of you getting his sympathy and his healing is prescription just like a child complaints to the mother when they're sick. You know, real complaint or fake complaint, you know, my kids got this flu going around all over the country. I'd like to my concern the flu the last month, you know, so two of the girls go to school in the morning, two of them are sick, someone gets

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hurt, the other one's just fine. The second one, she goes in, actually.

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You have to you have to hold your stomach, you have to crunch a little bit. You should have been You shouldn't have made eye contact. you're checking for validation. It's not genuine, if you gotta act that you know, come on, just like this. And it could have been a lot better you could have sold this to your mother's so much better.

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I don't tell her that in front of her mother, but on the size of mental work on your, you know, my stomach hurts

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to be a little more genuine. But the idea is when a child is complaining to the mother, my stomach hurts. The child is not saying you cause my

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child to say who else am I going to align to? And when do you whine you whine when you're with the beloved. You don't whine in front of anybody else you want in front of the beloved and the people that you have a stiff relationship with when they come and ask you How's it going? You

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know

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why cuz they're close to you. But when you go home to your mother, you know, they say when

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they say that in Arabic They say a man in the house of his mom turns into a baby.

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The guy goes it goes to visit his mother goes inside the house.

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Turn into mush. Doesn't matter if you're 40 years old, when you're with your mom, it just comes out. That's what the is teaching us actually, that the prophetic prayer is, when that kind of sadness, you just don't feel like anybody will understand. Nobody will hear what you have to say, nobody can relate to what your problem is, and attack the only one you go, you know, the one you can turn to that understands you totally, that's true, but the work was really in a lot. That's for the person who feels like I have nobody to talk to that that was given such a beautiful gift in the Quran. So we've got three words so far, one person, and then there's the word weighed. weight. And weight is

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used to express when someone feels like they're cursed. Like they just have bad luck. And this is used for oneself and others. Also, when you curse somebody in Arabic, don't do it. But I'm saying when a person curses someone in Arabic, and wishes the worst upon them, they say way back, way back. Okay. And Wei Li is also young lady is also used. Yeah, Lady means are your way, the top, your way, the Togliatti the several variations of it. Those variations mean I feel like I am damned, I'm cursed, that everything I do turns to poison, nothing I do works out. You don't have any confidence left in anything coming. You know, brick burying its truths. You don't feel like anything you do

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will change the situation. You become hopeless. And you're utterly hopeless. And at that point, you feel like there is no good fortune coming my way. There is no help. There is no how have been good fortune is not coming my way. And that's when you feel Wait, what is also used for shock. But it's also used for that kind of sentiment that I'm suffering from Wait, I'm cursed. I'm damned. And this is one of the worst words of the Arabic language. It's actually one of the words describing a place in hellfire. Which is interesting, right? Because a lot is describing Hellfire with something that's also used to describe psychological torture.

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Right? he's describing Hellfire with a word that's actually like physically painful, but it's actually, you know, emotionally painful. And that's it makes you understand when you're sitting in a psychology class, and psych 101, your professor says, you know, sometimes psychological pain is more painful than physical pain.

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You know, and you're really, I don't know, I'd rather feel savage in my arm chopped off, you haven't experienced, possibly wailing, thank Allah for it, then you understand the age old saying that I was referring to a little buckle.

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So weight is a very deep level of sadness. And it's when a person feels like they're cursed. And there's nobody coming in their way, a modern manifestation of that, that I've personally seen through emails that I just simply can't answer. Because emails are not a way to give people psychological advice is dangerous. Actually, you don't even know who's messing with you on the other side of that screen. But

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one of the common manifestations of this I feel is I made a mistake in my life, and I feel like allies cursed me and nothing good ever happens, I lost my job, this happened that happened, that happened. And I really think that Allah doesn't like me anymore. And now not only will I have a miserable life, I'm just going to probably burn in * anyway, etc, etc. This person has developed this like I am cursed mentality. Even if they don't say the word curse, everything they say sounds like they are convinced that they are somehow curves, you know, and that's a very, very powerful and very dangerous state for us to be able to protect us from it. Then there's some

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there's some, you know, in the Arabic When you say I'm sorry, acid.

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Actually, some argue that the root origin of this word is not even Arabic, it's actually Hebrew. And it's one of the derivatives from which we get the name use of violence, which is close to yourself, which means he was given sadness. Because if you study the story of use of 27, is very sad turns one after the other, a child separated from a parent, an innocent man in prison. You know, there are several occasions of very, very sad instances in his life, you know, and so and so he's, he's just his name itself, they say is derived from that word, but let's talk a little bit about so this actually means a kind of sadness, that eventually turns into other negative emotions. That's what I

00:34:14 --> 00:34:52

meant by the arrows really in touch with their feelings. And they didn't just have a word for sadness, they kind of categorized it. Right? So this word actually means when sadness, that emotion of sadness turns into something else. Like, for example, you're upset about something. you're you're you're upset about, maybe you got a bad rate, right? You took an exam, midterm, you cram as much as you heard that you were half asleep, and you're taking the test, you got a 40 on your test, and then you come out and you're extra mean and snappy with your friend. Then you're experiencing us up because the sadness from one thing is translating into anger and other things. And this word is

00:34:52 --> 00:34:59

actually a pretty good indication of how we we you know, substitute or project our license. Okay.

00:35:01 --> 00:35:03

Somebody's sitting here trying to get out.

00:35:04 --> 00:35:09

I mean, Kevin kicking them in, but I don't know how much longer I can keep the president of the MSA.

00:35:12 --> 00:35:14

So anyhow, was I saying something about happiness

00:35:16 --> 00:35:18

was about other mechanics.

00:35:19 --> 00:35:20

Take the anger from one thing,

00:35:22 --> 00:35:24

as a very good, very good

00:35:26 --> 00:35:43

as if it's the sadness for you displays your emotions into something else. Usually anger usually comes out in the form of anger. So I'm on the phone, and I'm driving home, hands free, and I'm on the phone driving home and somebody calls and says, you know, the contract we agreed to, and the payment you said,

00:35:44 --> 00:35:54

We accepted the payment, but we're not sending you the goods. And I'm upset. I'm upset. And when I get home, you know, first kid that runs in tackles me, I said, Where's your homework?

00:35:56 --> 00:36:23

I just displaced my upset from outside from the car to the home. This is a form. This is awesome. And actually, interestingly enough, this is the word used when Musa alayhis salam came down from speaking to a lot and his people were worshipping the cow, the cow. And he spoke with who? Who did he have a yelling at? how Allah says when he came, he came, oh, bah, he came angry as often

00:36:24 --> 00:36:32

as often, which means he was going to take that anger and displace it. And what do you find in the story, he grabs his brother's head,

00:36:33 --> 00:36:50

he grabs it, it kind of turned that that end that anger, or that sadness actually got displaced or something else. And that's a phenomenon for and deals with. Then of course, the final one is an ESA, I saw the letters for that or comes out seen and, or you can say it's a Yeah.

00:36:51 --> 00:36:55

And this is regret, really regret or sadness over an opportunity that was lost.

00:36:56 --> 00:37:12

Or an opportunity that was I could have done that I didn't do it didn't work, you're looking back, you keep beating yourself up over what you could have done. And you was right there. If you just did it, ah, things could have been so much better. Why didn't I take that opportunity? A lot of times, you know,

00:37:13 --> 00:37:26

young people would email the email me especially with the subject heading been sadness or depression or something usually has to do with relationships. You know, those a sister, I wanted to marry her. And I should have proposed attention very someone else. And

00:37:27 --> 00:38:09

I'm sad every day, and I keep thinking about how we should have got the guts and talk to her dad, and I didn't do it, blah, blah, blah. This is an aside, but it's also a kind of sadness. That's not just on opportunities lost. But it's also a kind of sadness, that is that expresses when you did something bad in your past. And you feel like that bad deed you did, whatever it is, don't tell me Whatever it is, is going to affect negatively everything you do in your future. Like your mistake from the past is going to negatively affect everything you do in your future. This word is an asset. This is also used in the Koran. And this word is it's important for Muslims to understand because

00:38:09 --> 00:38:43

we're living in a time where the opportunity to do really bad things very, very easily has been made convenient, right? So we can do pretty bad things spiritually speaking to ourselves, and damage ourselves with very little effort. And when that happens, then we become we get into a state of depression, what kind of scum Am I to the world where the world thinks I'm Muslim, but look at me on the inside, look at the kinds of stuff I'm up to, how can I even live with myself. And there's this regret over your what you've committed in the past. And what most people do when they don't know how to deal with this is they look at their past mistake, and they define themselves with their past

00:38:43 --> 00:39:21

mistake. What I mean by that is, I messed up, that must mean I messed up in the past, which must mean I am messed up, there's a difference between I messed up and I am messed up when people mess up. That doesn't mean they are messed up. That just means they messed up in the past. That is no guarantee that they will mess up in the future until they convince themselves that they are in fact messed up. The only one who can mess you up is your own conviction. A lot as Elijah built you, it doesn't mean you could get hit the building could get hit, it could get rattled, but you can fix the damage and maintain the building. Or you could say let it get hit some more until the building

00:39:21 --> 00:39:57

collapses. And don't blame the architect. And don't let your guts you You brought down on yourself. You cannot live with that kind of constant negative being brought back over and over and over again. There are mother in law's especially in DC culture that relive sad incidents in the past. Or they don't let their daughter in laws or the daughter in law doesn't let the mother in law or the father's and let the son or daughter they don't let them get over what happened. Just get over it move on with life. They can't do it. They have to bring it up. It happened 20 years ago, let it go. No, you did not get married without permission. Therefore, it just needs to be said when it's over.

00:39:57 --> 00:39:59

You cried about this for three weeks already. Remember all those

00:40:00 --> 00:40:10

Here's remember all those those dishes you broke earlier, we did that already. Now I have children and those children are going to get married, and you're still like going to the wedding because of what happened

00:40:11 --> 00:40:50

30 years ago, you're making yourself miserable people around you miserable because of us. Because you can't let go of the past. And you're letting a cloud the rest of your future allows origin did not want us to have a happy life or to have a heart filled with sadness. Actually, one of the descriptions of a heart that's full of the emaan beautiful description of it is Kanban saline. Kanban saline, so beautiful, the word serene and the Arabic You know, one of its meanings healthy. One of the meanings of syllables, healthy, Allah wants to the believer that comes to a lot of Judgment Day, successfully unless as uttama Have you convinced any, except for the one who comes to

00:40:50 --> 00:41:25

a bar with a healthy heart, a sound heart, a heart that is free from damage, meaning emotionally, yourself yourself, not just in terms of your emotion. But these emotions have an effect on our emotion, fear, anger, depression, grief, all these things are directly related to our event. And that's my next conversation with you, I shared a few chronic words with you, there are actually more but these are the words that become the subject of somebody's study, when they're trying to understand this emotion from the finance point of view. And it's really a wealth of wisdom for our for veterans are living in each other one of you is going to do your PhD on this and publish it and

00:41:25 --> 00:41:29

then you can, you know, make a dog for me on the first page or something. Okay.

00:41:30 --> 00:42:08

All right. So now what this is my second section, I think I'm organized. But the second section is different cases in the Quran, where Allah describes, in fact that sadness is a reality and you're not, and therefore you're not any less of a person for experiencing sadness. Imagine, having good evening, and having strong faith does not mean you're guaranteed happiness. That's not those are not equivalents. In this world. At least this is a world of difficulty or challenges and of trial. So for instance, Ibrahim alayhis salam, as a young man who experiences the trauma of being expelled from his own house, that's traumatic, being kicked out of your home by your father, right? And

00:42:08 --> 00:42:34

being, you know, having to leave your entire village, the entire family. And then you have Yusuf Ali Salaam, who's being betrayed by his own older brothers, what's a little kid do he wants to be like his older brothers, he wants to play with his older brothers, are you if you're the older brother, you know, you always want to play with your older brothers boys. There's an attachment to the older sibling, younger girls, they want to dress they want to take, take the older sisters, younger sister.

00:42:41 --> 00:42:43

And the younger one will not want something and so

00:42:45 --> 00:43:00

the only one has, has no interest in until the other one touches it. Why? Because a lot put that in affiliation, and that you want to be like them, you idolize new, you try to talk like them, you want to be friends with their friends. You want to have your own, you want to come into the room with

00:43:01 --> 00:43:02

my friend.

00:43:04 --> 00:43:27

And they won't tell you the one of these just like you, but that's what it is. They idolize you. They look up to you, especially of the same gender. But this child is betrayed by those he looks up to. That's traumatic. That's really sad. And then from the very beginning, we learned this child has such a close relationship with his dad, that he's even telling you what to give her and tried again, that guy won't quit.

00:43:34 --> 00:43:34

Okay.

00:43:35 --> 00:44:06

So if you have, you know, when user plays around, he was so close to his dad, that He even told him what his like even, like, you know, talk to his dad about what he dreamt son had a solid easy thing for a child to feel comfortable enough and so close to your father, you don't even tell your dad what happened at school, or what actually happened. You're actually sitting there talking to your dad about what happened in your dream. That's a real closeness between father and son. And the father is actually carefully listening. That's the other crazy thing. He is

00:44:07 --> 00:44:16

really attentively listening to the dream described by his child. I have conducted that experiment in my home. You have a dream? Yeah. It was a banana. I was trying to eat me.

00:44:21 --> 00:44:24

I tried to start a spiritual experience.

00:44:25 --> 00:44:26

So I commend you

00:44:27 --> 00:44:32

for listening to a child's dream. You know, the sun and the moon we're doing.

00:44:38 --> 00:44:59

We read the stories and we move on but you know that closest and then this child is stripped from his childhood, his father, their sadness of the Father. There's the sadness of the sun. And there's one thing to know your son died was one thing to let your son die. It's another to not even know what happened. To not even know what happened. It's traumatized.

00:45:00 --> 00:45:38

As traumatizing, I can tell you, I have felt sadness in my life that I have never experienced in my life until after becoming a parent, when your child is sick, and when your child is shivering from a fever, and they're helpless, and you can do nothing about that, except kala, and this house is holding on to you, they're shivering like this, you know, and they want to take a food and they hold the food in their hand, they don't have the strength to keep their hands stable, it will tear your heart from the inside, out. From the inside, you cannot experience that kind of sadness. But that's a result of local bring about a lot of sadness. It comes with the territory, okay? Because we care

00:45:38 --> 00:45:55

about the ones we love. And when they suffer, we suffer equally, if not more, even sometimes even more. So this is, you know, in the case of use of a sermon, this brothers, Masonic sermons nation, this nation caused him so much pain. And these are just some examples. You know, the prophets Allah.

00:45:57 --> 00:46:00

The prophet SAW Islam and his uncle,

00:46:01 --> 00:46:48

neighbor, family, his own uncle, next door neighbor, what kind of guy I mean, I talked about this when I was discussing the doctrine sort of gossip, which is going to be the last part of my talk to you today. Right? What kind of a guide uncle, not distant, but uncle celebrate when his next door neighbor, who's his nephew, just lost a baby. The baby just died in the house of homeless on the LaGuardia and goes out celebrate making noise that Muhammad will not have a son his name will not carry on Hooray. And the the roofs of the houses back then. So it's like your guy in the backyard and your neighbor's backyard and he comes out and he screams Can you hear? Yeah,

00:46:50 --> 00:46:53

that's gonna hurt your own uncle celebrating the depth of your time.

00:46:54 --> 00:46:57

That's the what the prophet felt someone loved.

00:46:58 --> 00:47:25

Any human beings, I mean, even enemies, put their weapons down when they hear the general on the other side, just lost a baby, like, look like you're my enemy. I want to cut your throat, but I'm gonna let you give you a day to grieve. Because I feel that pain is an honor among enemies, even. He didn't even have that. That's the kind of sadness. And you know why that story is important. Because it's teaching us sometimes the most painful blows. And the most traumatic sadness you will experience in your life will be from family.

00:47:26 --> 00:48:04

They will not be some stranger that will cause you sadness, it will be people that are closest to you. Because they have such close access to your heart. So when they can mess up, they can really mess you up. Parents can mess you up. Children can mess you up, husband and wife can mess you up. uncles can mess you up, cousins mess you up. Those people that we love the most can also hurt us the most. And that's something that's not unique to you, the prophet himself some a lot more experienced these things in the most horrendous way. And there's a reason I put that stuff in the Quran for us. Because we don't feel like we're the only ones dealing with this stuff. We're not this this has been

00:48:04 --> 00:48:22

dealt with before these situations have occurred before. Then, you know, other I mean, he said, his sadness. He said this would apply as a law forgiven me or not. I mean, I was in Gemini just a couple of minutes ago, and now I'm weird on the earth, kind of wandering around figuring out what to do.

00:48:23 --> 00:48:36

Last thing I know, that was not happy with me. I did something I shouldn't have done. Or people in that position ever, that they did something they shouldn't have done. And then life takes a bad turn. And they start thinking maybe I've done something wrong.

00:48:37 --> 00:48:54

I'm situation he was in that situation? How do I know for less forgiving me or not? And I'll give him a gift. If people come in ask how do you have a less forgiving you? How did I remember less forgive him? He didn't give him a gift. I'll give other monies? And again, he says he says, you know?

00:48:55 --> 00:48:56

Otherwise,

00:48:57 --> 00:48:58

he can imagine?

00:48:59 --> 00:49:38

Allah gave brought Adam into contact anytime he brought him into contact with words. And then it accepted his repentance. Right? And in that Surah Baqarah Allah didn't even tell what those words were. He didn't even say what they were. He just said Adam was brought into contact with words from his master. And as a result of those words foster will be and therefore he accepted his repentance. Meaning if you guys could have access to those words, if you guys I mean other mornings that I'm messed up pretty bad. That's that's pretty bad. And even he will give he's given these, these incredible words. And he used them sincerely, and then Allah forgave him. So when somebody asks, How

00:49:38 --> 00:49:43

do I know if others forgiven me, I said, Well, you know, we are children about them. So we did inherit the gift.

00:49:45 --> 00:50:00

I mean, this is passed on gifts are passed on in inheritance, right? It is one thing that you don't have to share it inheritance and divvy up is wisdom. Wisdom is passed on 100% not like property property has to be divided. Money has to be divided but wisdom you can do.

00:50:00 --> 00:50:07

Deliver 100% to the next generation. What did we get inheritance that we can know that allows forgiveness of Ba Ba, da

00:50:09 --> 00:50:10

da, da.

00:50:12 --> 00:50:14

Da is an inherited da to know that you've been forgiven.

00:50:16 --> 00:50:17

That's a very horrible thing to know.

00:50:18 --> 00:50:44

You know, to answer that very deep and very soulful, very heavy question. Then, of course, no one is allowed in his spouse, his son and his son caused him grief. How many parents come up to me, my son causes me so much grief. I love him so much. But he makes me so sad. Before I came here, before I came to the city, some parents called me and said, My son has caused me so much grief. I've done everything I can for this boy, and he's continually caused me grief. What do I do about can you talk to him? Can you do something for him?

00:50:45 --> 00:51:14

All I can do, I'm no, I'm nobody. I can even help my own family members or myself. What am I going to do? All I can do is remind. That's all I can do. That's all any of us can ever do. Change comes from allows, you know, and so and of course, gluten insulin and how terrible Hiva man, you know, talk about bad moods, you know, in the English expression, man, I was in a bad mood. I was in a bad mood. That expression is actually only used for

00:51:16 --> 00:51:21

When the angels showed up to destroy the nation. Okay, see him was

00:51:23 --> 00:51:23

that

00:51:25 --> 00:51:38

he just he just felt bad. He saw the angels be like, oh, God is felt so terrible. As the other reasons he felt that way because they came in the form of good looking men. Right? And you're This was trouble.

00:51:39 --> 00:51:43

He was really upset. Well, how am I gonna handle this? You know. So

00:51:44 --> 00:51:49

the last bit I want to share with you before I move to my next section, and Sharma and then it

00:51:51 --> 00:51:52

is

00:51:53 --> 00:52:07

one of the great expressions of sadness in the Quran. I actually use it in a humorous way I used it with my students the other day, my students get a lot of exams and give a lot of tough exams. And every time I announce Okay, it's a big one tomorrow.

00:52:09 --> 00:52:13

You know, what, we just had one yesterday, another one tomorrow.

00:52:17 --> 00:52:18

So the Battle of

00:52:23 --> 00:52:24

religious the justify the tank,

00:52:28 --> 00:52:28

put in the Battle of

00:52:30 --> 00:52:32

the Muslims suffered tremendously.

00:52:33 --> 00:53:05

There was the sadness of the the lack of discipline, there was the sadness of the loss of strategic Muslim very important Muslim leaders 70 of them. There was the sadness of the legend, the rumor spreading that the prophets been killed, there was a symbol of love. There was the sadness of him losing his tooth and actually falling unconscious. There was the humiliating sadness of the Muslims having to retreat up a mountain. There were sadnesses piled one on top of the other, and things weren't looking like they were getting any better. Which kind of sadness is it? when things don't look like they're gonna get better?

00:53:08 --> 00:53:13

Oh, this was your test. And you have unfortunately Come on me, brothers.

00:53:15 --> 00:53:16

Things aren't gonna get better.

00:53:23 --> 00:53:26

ain't going away, bad things are gonna happen. Unless

00:53:29 --> 00:53:32

I hit you. I targeted you with a loan after

00:53:33 --> 00:53:34

I targeted you with gone.

00:53:37 --> 00:53:39

Why the Qaeda?

00:53:40 --> 00:53:42

So you start worrying so much.

00:53:43 --> 00:54:11

So you don't you start worrying about what you lose? You start becoming sad. That's so the other word for sadness is us now. Right? So just to look back and regret, oh, man, this bad thing happens, which means the next bad thing will happen, which means this domino effect unless I gave you so much to learn. So you will learn not to think that the next thing is going to be bad also, why? Because this is how I explained when somebody has one problem, they're depressed. When they have two problems, they're even more depressed. When they have 200 problems, they just go.

00:54:20 --> 00:54:22

Once you get done any problems ain't no problem.

00:54:25 --> 00:54:28

I hit you with so many problems that you stopped worrying about your problem.

00:54:29 --> 00:54:35

So you realize you're not in control of life. Just chill out, stop trying to control everything.

00:54:36 --> 00:55:00

So it's one of the last things I wanted to share with you. Now my final section of this, this discussion. And that is, I mean personally, even though there's more elaborate descriptions and divisions made by scholars classical scholars of sadness, I would like to describe or divided generally speaking the emotion of sadness into three categories.

00:55:00 --> 00:55:37

There's sadness that you brought upon yourself, as a result of something you've done. It's your fault. And you know that that's that sadness you brought upon yourself, then the sadness brought upon you by others, something, they said something, they did something, you know, something, they, somehow they had an effect on you and they have brought sadness upon you. And the third circumstance of sadness is a sadness. That's a result of a circumstance, you can't even blame a person. It could be something like a car accident, it could be like an earthquake, it could be anything. It could be a sickness, it could be whatever in these kinds of severe these the circumstances, and the first

00:55:37 --> 00:55:52

circumstance. The first circumstance, what was it again, what was the first circumstance? something you've done yourself and you're depressed about something you did, a lot of people have that my recommendation is to you for you to carefully study the drop made by Musashi.

00:55:53 --> 00:56:09

And you'll notice as I as I talk, you'll notice that I keep trying to illustrate to you the talk, the subject of my talk was the bronze remedy for sevens. There's not one there are 1000s of remedies, for sadness, but I keep alluding to the fact that every time I get close to talking about a solution, what comes up?

00:56:11 --> 00:56:15

Every time I started talking about a solution, what comes up again, Doc comes up.

00:56:18 --> 00:56:20

Like give him a dog, you know, you have

00:56:23 --> 00:56:30

extreme you're really in a state of depression, sadness, and he says, I will only complain to a lot of

00:56:31 --> 00:56:37

these pathetic situations and the alternative. Now this guy is which profit when you made a mistake yourself.

00:56:38 --> 00:56:42

I'm sure you've done some pretty bad things, but I'm pretty sure you didn't punch a guy and he died.

00:56:43 --> 00:56:45

I don't think it

00:56:47 --> 00:56:48

is, okay.

00:56:53 --> 00:57:30

So, Musa alayhis salam has done this really bad mistake. And he's now you know, those kinds of mistakes can haunt you for life. You know, soldiers come back from the battlefield having killed innocent people and they end up committing suicide. Really, they're broken psychologically, because of the atrocities they have committed. They can't they relive those moments over and over again. When you've done something wrong. You are one of the victims. You're not just the criminal you actually makes you suffer internally for that. You pay the price, but even if it was an honest mistake in the case of Busan he said he is guilty of taking another life it's not something easy to

00:57:30 --> 00:57:34

swallow it doesn't leave you alone, but forgive him inspired him with his beautiful daughter

00:57:38 --> 00:58:15

that is actually the key to moving on with life. If you made a mistake and you don't know how to move on with life learn from the drama of massage a salon master no doubt about it me whatever good you send my way. I am desperately in need my back is broken. I am not capable. Whatever good you send my way I can use it. Let me explain what I mean by good here. Good means two things y'all like give me good opportunities in life yellow Don't let the mistake I made make the rest of my my life a bad experience. Don't give me sadness after sadness after sevens give me positive experiences and good opportunities in life by the way right after that there was always another job and the next

00:58:15 --> 00:58:15

time

00:58:17 --> 00:58:20

next time he got hired and married

00:58:23 --> 00:58:55

it's pretty awesome. And then next is starts with a thought which means therefore, therefore the girl came called into the diet he told the story she said I'd like to you know, let's hire him and you know the whole thing worked out but all as a result of is gone. Well, we're learning that because that rule find the causes is that grass can have a serious impact on the rest of your life. What am I gonna find a job I'm homeless. I'm a fugitive from the law. I ran away from Egypt. I don't even know my way around here. I'm just sitting by a puddle of water. And I don't think my shoes are torn up my clothes are beat up. I'm sitting under a tree. I don't even know if this tree belongs to

00:58:55 --> 00:59:03

someone that kicks me out of here. Next thing I just yeah, lost sense of good my weight boom, got a job Mary girl moved in eight year visa set.

00:59:07 --> 00:59:08

Julie's

00:59:09 --> 00:59:10

visa,

00:59:11 --> 00:59:29

housing everything paid, covered, was sweet. And what a job injury is a side note but my job interview, he goes to the guy the girl's father and he says I killed someone. I run away from there. I'm homeless right now. And two minutes later, he's saying you should marry my daughter and you should live here.

00:59:31 --> 00:59:35

That just proves alone makes things happen. You don't make that happen.

00:59:37 --> 00:59:59

Right. But anyhow. So that's for you. The other meaning of hype. That's one meaning of a good degree good things in my life. But the other meaning of it that's more relevant to our conversation here. If you have made a mistake in your past, if you've made a major mistake in your past, then the only way to move on is to become desperate. Desperate to do good deeds

01:00:00 --> 01:00:38

He's asking a lot Master, whatever opportunity you give me to do good, I will jump on it. I am bankrupt. Like someone bankrupt jumping towards a calling, I will jump towards a good deed helping someone doing something good Master, just give me the chance I will do it. I have hurt another human being I will spend the rest of my life helping human beings. This dog he made right after he helped a couple of girls get some food foil some some water for their animals. Then he sat down and said, y'all let any other voluntary need help hook me up. Can you be the volunteer for anything else I'm available, because I know what I've done in my past. And I know the only way I will know that you

01:00:38 --> 01:01:18

have given you a blessed me in my life is if you give me opportunity to do good deeds. If you've done messed up things in the past, the way you compensate for that is you go out of your way to do what good things and the lessons of the processes. The number one kind of good thing is not make more salami make more da that standard Anyway, you have to do that anyway, help people do good things for people, man relations, you know, visit the sick, take care of your parents, visit your grandparents, talk to the cousin that you hate, send them again, that stuff. That's what he because he did good for these girls. He didn't go and you know, do what I bother. And then say Allah forgive

01:01:18 --> 01:01:26

me, actually helped these girls and saw that helping them is actually my, my healing me moving on with life. That's how he saw it.

01:01:27 --> 01:01:35

Okay, so that's when you make a personal mistake. And I told you there are three kinds of silence that I divided, there was sadness brought on you by yourself, there was sadness from one

01:01:37 --> 01:01:47

side is brought upon you by other people. You know, in the case of one of the great examples of such a hero neuron, really, I mean, I even made friends with a rabbi because I'm so in love with

01:01:49 --> 01:01:53

really have a rabbi friend in Dallas, I hang out with him talking about

01:01:57 --> 01:01:59

talking to Jews so much in the Quran.

01:02:00 --> 01:02:10

And they obviously had some background information when they were listening. So I want to know, their background information. I say so what do you believe? What's going on? And we have some really interesting conversations.

01:02:11 --> 01:02:15

Some good stuff. You know, we mostly disagree. The

01:02:19 --> 01:02:22

first conversations was so how did Moses get revelation?

01:02:23 --> 01:02:29

Because, well, you know, he was printing machines and mounting the cool lady by himself. Yeah.

01:02:30 --> 01:02:32

He was with his family.

01:02:35 --> 01:02:41

It's a family thing unless you're considering his sheep, his family. You have a family and by the way, some

01:02:43 --> 01:02:45

kosher restaurant, by the way, they were Arab.

01:02:48 --> 01:02:49

Arab and they admit that

01:02:53 --> 01:02:55

Moses, his kids were half fare.

01:02:57 --> 01:03:14

But anyhow, coming back to Saudi Salaam, with others causes you pain when he finally when others his nation has caused them so much. So much pain, and the only one really willing to listen to him, or anything he has to say is his own brother. As always, God Really? So he turns to a lens that's gonna be in me.

01:03:16 --> 01:03:22

In my life, I have no control over anybody except my own brother and myself, myself and my brother. That's all I can control.

01:03:26 --> 01:03:28

Yeah, by this can you divorce us from these other people?

01:03:29 --> 01:03:30

I can't deal with them anymore.

01:03:32 --> 01:03:33

This is not for family.

01:03:34 --> 01:03:36

Don't make my mother in law.

01:03:38 --> 01:03:39

In other states,

01:03:42 --> 01:03:43

she can just move to Atlanta.

01:03:44 --> 01:03:51

So much better for us. No, no, no. This is about other people. There's no escape from family law.

01:03:53 --> 01:04:04

And no escape. profits are they cannot depart from the family until God's commandment comes. No honey salon has to stick with his family until Allah tells him leave

01:04:06 --> 01:04:23

it running. Marley's continues to pray for his father until Allah tells him stop when when a mother came up to me and said My son is such a disappointment one of my kids memorize what I did this this this the other one drinks any clubs and he I don't even think he's my son anymore. I don't consider him my son. This er device.

01:04:27 --> 01:04:28

Where do you how do you say

01:04:30 --> 01:04:30

he likes to his father in

01:04:32 --> 01:04:34

law told me that your family told us not just

01:04:36 --> 01:04:40

after how many hundreds of years of you live that you get to apply the

01:04:42 --> 01:04:59

watching lady and still your son You can call them whatever you want. Please, still your son. You can tell you can break family ties. But you can pray to Allah to separate you from those who are not family that are causing you a lot of grief. It could be your employer causes you a lot of grief. It could be your life.

01:05:00 --> 01:05:03

He a job where I don't have to suffer through this. It's fine. If

01:05:06 --> 01:05:24

that's fine, there are some people who just can't get along with, they're just there to cause you weep. And you pray to Allah to help you get away from those kinds of people keep you keep you away from them. And you know, and that's perfectly fine. But when it when it comes to family, it's not about y'all like me away from them. Yeah, a lot make our relations better

01:05:25 --> 01:05:27

than I mean is watching our Zodiac

01:05:30 --> 01:05:50

master make us about, you know, grant us from our children and our spouses. What what cools our eyes, what cools our eyes, and Cora Cora also means in the Arabic language, something you can do something that's stationary, so I can't take my eyes off. I love them so much, I don't want to look away. I love them so much. I want to hang up. And when you call mom, mom, I gotta go.

01:05:51 --> 01:05:54

And you just can't wait to hang up. Okay, we're done. We're done.

01:05:56 --> 01:06:01

I'm on the other line, I'm really not, but I'm on the other line, that sort of thing. That just means that

01:06:02 --> 01:06:19

you can't wait to see that. That's not the case. That's not just not the case. You know, that's to be made for family that those those tensions they go away. Now, the last kind of trauma was what was the last kind of sadness caused by.

01:06:20 --> 01:06:35

So for most people, when trauma is caused by circumstance, sickness, death of a loved one things you can't control. Right? You know, what people do? They have, they have a great deal of sadness and transforms into rage, and usually that racism directed towards a lot.

01:06:36 --> 01:07:09

in that kind of situation. People have weak faith, they look at that situation. And then they turn their rage towards Allah. And they say, Why did Allah let this happen to me? Why am I doing this to me? Why I deserve better? How can you do the How can you go? How can you call themselves merciful and loving and caring. And you can do this to me, you know, this, this is a very common phenomenon. Nowadays. The third type of sadness, that people suffer, and then they blame a lot. People have bad experiences, and then they blame a lot. You know, the only people who can do that are people who don't know what lies,

01:07:10 --> 01:07:26

you have a long distance relationship with a lot. And you made a lot of assumptions about him. And I've come to learn that about relationships in general, not just with a lot. When you have a friend that you talk to everyday, you're on the same page, when you don't talk to them for three, four or five months, and you start making assumptions about how they think, or what they think of you.

01:07:28 --> 01:07:35

Just happens when you have a distinct relationship, you have a lot more misunderstanding. And when they even even if they call me once in a while, you misinterpret what they say.

01:07:36 --> 01:07:48

Why? Because you're not in constant contact. You're not constantly speaking with someone, there's more and more misunderstandings, when we're not in constant communication with a lot we start developing really, really weird opinions of

01:07:50 --> 01:08:04

really weak opinions about a lot and what it means to us and how much he cares about us. And then we fulfill the law says and I end up you know, when the RTB inadequacy is my sleeve assumed to be ready to meet to be if he assumes that I don't care now fulfill it,

01:08:05 --> 01:08:17

if he assumes that I love or fulfill that, if he assumes that I will provide that I will provide you give an attitude to a lot lower reciprocate that attitude. So your life will get worse if you have a bad opinion.

01:08:18 --> 01:08:24

And you brought that on yourself. Because Allah says I will give you based on your attitude towards you.

01:08:25 --> 01:08:27

Your your attitude will determine how why empty

01:08:29 --> 01:08:33

you know, who is allowed to me depends on me, because of that promise of the of

01:08:34 --> 01:08:45

the world now finally, the remedies themselves. I've talked about the different kinds of sadness, and this other my last section, I promise. I mean that last section, but I want to start this section with one of the most beautiful names.

01:08:48 --> 01:09:02

That comes from the Arabic word Rama commonly translated as mercy. I don't agree with that translation. much at all. It's actually problematic on many, many fronts. One of the fronts it's problematic on his mercy is use when you're spared.

01:09:03 --> 01:09:11

Like the soldiers showed him mercy. What does that mean? They didn't kill him. When you're playing a game of tag,

01:09:12 --> 01:09:16

you have a mercy even what's the mercy?

01:09:17 --> 01:09:18

Spare me?

01:09:19 --> 01:09:26

When the wrestler is holding the guy up in the air? And the guy looks at me he knocks on his head. He goes, Hey, mercy.

01:09:28 --> 01:09:59

What's he asking for? To be spirit and mercy is used in contexts where something bad is about to happen, and then it stops from happening. Thanks for showing me mercy. sparing someone. So when we think of a lot as merciful, in the English language, right, merciful, we cannot have that connotation. We cannot think oh, bad things were gonna happen. I decided not to punishers No, no, no, no, actually, the word rosmah in Arabic comes from Russian. And Russian means the belly of the mother when she's pregnant. the womb of the mother and the

01:10:00 --> 01:10:14

Welcome is actually in a Hadith, the Russian is Thai terrafirma that Allah says the closest the way you will understand what Russia is, is that you will reflect upon what the womb of the mother is, that will give you some idea what Russia is. And then you might begin to understand what are who are

01:10:16 --> 01:10:16

who

01:10:18 --> 01:10:43

we call on who that is the name of the mother, the womb of the mother, all of us were in it at one point in our existence, did we have to worry about food, shelter, clothing, or all of our team needs, needs taken care of, if there was a problem who dealt with the problem? A mother did this womb was this was our world and we were wrapped in care and in love. And we offered nothing but grief to the one holding us.

01:10:44 --> 01:10:55

The mother is caused pain by this child, she almost died giving birth to this child. There is no other scenario in human existence, where someone who almost kills you get all of your love

01:10:58 --> 01:10:59

should be at least mad at the baby.

01:11:02 --> 01:11:04

almost killed me. You know how much I bled for you

01:11:06 --> 01:11:08

know, at least be mad at the kid that the mother

01:11:09 --> 01:11:12

told me it was worth it.

01:11:13 --> 01:11:22

Inside the mother is stretching is pulling out a ribs is kicking all kinds of he's making her throw off. Everything tastes like paper. You know,

01:11:23 --> 01:11:40

if she can go to the bathroom easily, she can't sleep this side, the back hurt that side, the ribs are constantly in pain. And yet all she has for the child is love. Actually one of the core meanings of LACMA is someone who wraps you in his hair

01:11:41 --> 01:11:58

because of motivated by what emotion by what sentiment. Someone surrounds you in their care because of love. And no one does that know that a lot. He surrounds us in his care out of his love. That's mine. And if you knew who that is, and you wouldn't be talking about a law certain way.

01:11:59 --> 01:12:12

You wouldn't be talking about a law. That's because you cannot compare creation to Allah what your mother did for you in your belly cannot even be compared to what I was doing for you all the time. You can't even compare the two.

01:12:13 --> 01:12:19

That's what lies to us. So that's the first remedy in the four other names of a lot of them are

01:12:20 --> 01:12:33

the one we invoke all the time, but when we call them all the time. The second example that I want to share with you. Well why this is one of the most powerful examples of you know, dealing with this subject in the entire forum.

01:12:34 --> 01:12:38

Mousavi said I'm helping people escape injured. You know that, right?

01:12:40 --> 01:12:48

are you guys doing on attention span you guys okay? All right. Okay. All right. You're not doing okay. Just continue sleeping. That's fine.

01:12:49 --> 01:13:36

All right. So Mussolini, Sam just helped by last permission, his nation escaped. Escape. Each of these people have been in slavery for quite some time slavery, a happy time or a sad time. That time what adds to that sadness. What adds to that sadness is that the the people that are walking across the body of water, have living memory of babies being slaughtered in front of their eyes, their own, their own children, not just dying, being murdered? Is that a memory that just disappears? No. There is even though they have escaped the clutches of their own. These people have lived a life of unending indescribable sadness. It's not just the loss of a child. It's the loss of 1000s of

01:13:36 --> 01:13:41

children are in front of the eyes of the parents, at the hands of merciless soldiers.

01:13:42 --> 01:13:53

This is a this was a policy of Egypt. So you have a bunch of grieving parents that are escaping, you know, a bunch of grieving parents and

01:13:54 --> 01:14:02

help them escape. Now on the other side, as the sadness disappeared, no, now Mousavi said I was going to give them a football.

01:14:04 --> 01:14:13

Now you were thinking this whole point is going to tell them to be patient. Because when someone is sad when we usually tell them the patient, nobody ever tells you how.

01:14:14 --> 01:14:22

Everybody says Be patient. Patience is a goal. You know how to patient once you get there. You can't just say Oh, be patient, okay.

01:14:30 --> 01:14:59

You have to do certain other things that get you to patience. Patience is not something you can just do. It is it is a it's an acquired power. It's an acquired, you know, power. It's not something that's innate inside of us. It has to be nurtured, built. So the question In this clip, but what I feel is that a lot of zones don't give us the key to nurture patience. As a matter of fact, they're out in the middle of the desert. They don't have food supplies, and there's the sadness of trauma that terrible has

01:15:00 --> 01:15:01

history that they live.

01:15:02 --> 01:15:03

And yet to them

01:15:05 --> 01:15:07

has been well.

01:15:08 --> 01:15:10

Let me shackled to that, as

01:15:11 --> 01:15:26

your master said, if you could just be grateful even a little bit, he would absolutely absolutely guarantee. Oh, he says, I will. Absolutely, absolutely I guarantee I will increase for you. I will give you more and more and more and more than more, what did he bring up? What things should you do?

01:15:27 --> 01:15:34

Be patient? No, be one. Be grateful. How are you telling the people that live nothing but misery.

01:15:36 --> 01:15:41

They live nothing but misery. And you're getting up on the member and you're telling them you need to be

01:15:42 --> 01:16:21

grateful. You need to be grateful. This is the key remedy to sadness. The change of thought instead of thinking about patients because patients means you're thinking about the trouble you had. And now you're being patient over the messenger Mousavi, some change the mindset of the entire peoples and you think they don't think about the sad things that have happened in your life, you need to focus on the good things that have happened in your life. And when you focus on the good things that have happened in your life, who would you give credit to, allows our job and that will make you grateful, and when you become grateful, what becomes easy. Patience becomes easy. When gratitude is not there.

01:16:21 --> 01:16:34

Patience is impossible. Why am I call somebody sugar two wings of a bird? bird can't fly with one wing? Why do we call it that there's a reason. Because without gratitude, these people can't move on with their life.

01:16:36 --> 01:16:43

And what a beautiful thing a lot is that if you were just to be grateful, I promise I swear to it. And if analysis.

01:16:45 --> 01:17:10

And the strongest form of the verb is used, and along the way does not us I in the Quran that's even more rare than the rarest form. But he says to them, if you could even show me one ounce of gratitude on Monday in Chicago, even if you did that, that I guarantee over and over again, over and over again over and over again. I will increase you. Now the question arises when you say to somebody, hey, I want to increase you.

01:17:12 --> 01:17:13

Does that make any sense to you?

01:17:15 --> 01:17:25

What do you mean, you want to increase me in terms of weight? knowledge, wisdom, patience, crime? What do you want to increase in money? I'm interested in,

01:17:27 --> 01:17:31

you know, a lot of sentences in the IR to the through the

01:17:32 --> 01:17:44

law says, if you were only to be grateful, even the least bit, I will absolutely increase all of you. The question he didn't answer is in what

01:17:47 --> 01:17:51

this word means it needs a distinction. Like we say, basically, what

01:17:52 --> 01:17:55

was done is increasing weight.

01:17:57 --> 01:18:03

Knowledge, increase me in knowledge in this promise, I will increase you. He doesn't say in what?

01:18:04 --> 01:18:21

He doesn't say what you know why? Because every one of you needs increase in some other thing. And he's Whatever you need, I will increase, I will not limit my increase to you. Some of you, I will increase your children. Some of you, I'll increase your impatience, some of your increase in strength and knowledge, enlist in provision in happiness.

01:18:22 --> 01:18:32

You know, I'll increase you in whatever you need increasing the sadnesses of something is depleted, right? Something's missing. I will increase it. I'll fill it up for you. You just have to be grateful.

01:18:36 --> 01:18:38

And if you were to be grateful, ungrateful.

01:18:40 --> 01:18:55

Allah does not answer actually the conditional statements in Arabic, you know how in length in English, you say if then statements. If you do this, then this will happen. So if you're grateful, then I'll increase you. Right. But if you're ungrateful, Allah didn't put that then that's the mercy of Allah.

01:18:56 --> 01:19:11

If you're ungrateful.dot.he didn't put it in. That's his mercy. That's actually if you can't be grateful for anything else. Be grateful he didn't fulfill that. You just started a new sentence in English. And he didn't say that in English. When I'm called for in

01:19:12 --> 01:19:14

a Java shop. If he said

01:19:16 --> 01:19:18

that, I mean, you're gonna get punished.

01:19:19 --> 01:19:20

I'll let him go to father.

01:19:23 --> 01:19:38

Everywhere. This is incredible. Last remedy. Last and it's on the same note, and I'm gonna try to make this as brief as possible. I told you one of the most traumatic experiences emotionally in the Prophet's life, some a lot more it is the loss of a beloved son.

01:19:39 --> 01:19:44

What adds to the misery of this event is of course, a Buddha and his wife

01:19:46 --> 01:19:57

does all of this is happening and two slides are revealed. So that was probably all you're familiar with. But interestingly, more importantly, sort of Coca

01:19:59 --> 01:19:59

Cola

01:20:00 --> 01:20:05

was revealed. And so that doesn't even address what the profit was.

01:20:06 --> 01:20:15

And we all know what the profit loss problem is, and it's hard to stop thinking about it. It's hard, you know, analyzer that says in the housing market,

01:20:17 --> 01:20:17

we give you,

01:20:19 --> 01:20:20

we gave you,

01:20:21 --> 01:20:29

here you are thinking about what you just lost, and allies changing your thoughts entirely and making you think about what Allah just gave you.

01:20:31 --> 01:20:33

This is the ultimate remedy of sadness.

01:20:34 --> 01:20:38

You just think to yourself Alliance given me a lot

01:20:39 --> 01:20:47

of letters telling his messenger in the hardest of times I have given you the ultimate abundance? What more could you possibly uncover that you can have?

01:20:51 --> 01:20:54

So one of the rarest forms of the Arabic language, Coco,

01:20:55 --> 01:21:00

can have more than that. Some states are giving you four unless you are you sad.

01:21:02 --> 01:21:14

How much are you? What could you possibly be missing in life, once you have my book, my word, the profit is toll on itself, itself is the remedy for sadness. With a lot of speech, speaking,

01:21:15 --> 01:21:19

of speaking to you in the ad is a remedy of sadness, but more can be asked.

01:21:20 --> 01:21:27

And then, by the way, when you become grateful, what's the show of gratitude, a show of gratitude is a lot for something.

01:21:29 --> 01:21:35

Also show celebration, slaughtering an animal party, one, sacrificing them.

01:21:36 --> 01:21:37

Don't even worry about your enemy,

01:21:39 --> 01:21:44

your enemy, I'll deal with it. You just worry about praying and focus on the good outcome. And

01:21:46 --> 01:21:48

just think about that, and your status will go.

01:21:50 --> 01:22:28

The Muslims will have to learn these remedies from the carozza these are not going to come to you. I can talk about this. But it's not going to stick with you, but will stick with you is your relationship with the Quran. Allah removes your sadness from the Quran, when you personally become like a Phil you have a emotional attachment to this word to the word of Allah. When that happens for you, you can you will not be overwhelmed by sadness, sadness will come in a bubble taken away, then it will come in a little taken away again, and it will come it will take it away again. It's not like when unless I tell the prophets I saw them in that athlete. He never experienced sadness.

01:22:28 --> 01:22:34

Again, he did. But he like kept taking it away and taking it away and taking it away. So the art itself is a remedy.

01:22:35 --> 01:22:40

And if you have a distant relationship with the Quran, I don't know, then maybe some pills.

01:22:41 --> 01:22:48

Try and try it. The people who don't believe in luck, you know, the people that is the people of hopelessness,

01:22:49 --> 01:22:58

don't have any hope. Those people can resort to any measure any measure, they want to get rid of their sadness, you know what people do to get rid of their sadness nowadays, they play video games.

01:22:59 --> 01:23:07

That's what they do. They shoot drugs. You know, they smoke weed. They take hallucinogenic. They drink

01:23:08 --> 01:23:39

and go to clubs. So they can listen to brain numbing music all night. So they don't have to actually think about how miserable their life is. Even if they're gonna throw up the entire next day. It doesn't matter, because at least now they don't have to deal with their sadness. Their sadness is eating away at them. It's eating away at them and allows them Jim gave us a solution for all the forms of sadness in his book. If we just asked a lot more. If we just did, we'd be happy people. I tell you the world could use the optimism of Iran has

01:23:41 --> 01:23:48

really does, but the world will not see it until we exhibit it. Why would anybody be curious about the quality of the people of the world is frowning.

01:23:50 --> 01:23:51

Honest to God.

01:23:53 --> 01:23:59

I lived in New York, a long time. I went to high school here. I worked here, what five years ago.

01:24:00 --> 01:24:32

I didn't know that there was such a thing as Muslims just normally smiling. That was a new experience for me when I left here. That wasn't the norm. Guys was with it. Everybody else in the city is miserable. And they have plenty of reasons to be the smile, the pushing around in the subway, everybody else trying to cut you off people in the parking meter and whatever. You got all the reasons to be upset is cool, but you're Muslim. You're supposed to exhibit a happiness or joy in your lives just because you're Muslim. And people should be like, why don't you

01:24:39 --> 01:24:43

just take care of my problems. That's what you're supposed to exhibit.

01:24:47 --> 01:25:00

I don't want to sound upset when I told you you shouldn't be upset because that kind of beats the purpose. brb was so many reasons to be happy. We have so many reasons to be grateful to a lot. We live in a fantastic time. We are living I believe and I

01:25:00 --> 01:25:28

done in one minute. Exactly, inshallah, we are on the verge of a major Sonic renaissance in the world. And we have the opportunity to be in the driver's seat, Muslim youth in North America have the opportunity to be in the driver's seat of a worldwide Islamic Renaissance, a cultural one, an intellectual one, a moral one, we are at the lowest, you can go lower, basically. So the only way to look up now is why there's only you know, only with the only place to look as high as to look up.

01:25:29 --> 01:25:42

There's a lot of potential here. I told you guys, I travel all over the country, you know what you guys have unique in New York. Once you have that nobody else has power in numbers. There's more Muslim youth here that for some reason are religious,

01:25:44 --> 01:25:52

or religious, be motivated. It is unprecedented anywhere else in the country is unprecedented. You guys have issues. I'm not saying you don't.

01:25:55 --> 01:25:56

I left for a reason.

01:25:59 --> 01:26:14

But you also have remarkable potential. Oh, my goodness, the potential here is unparalleled. I used to think America is I don't know maybe like the Muslims in Europe, like maybe London, I've been to London a couple of times. Now. You guys have a major events. Major there are.

01:26:15 --> 01:26:37

So many students going to university and trying to learn their religion and trying to give the world the stamp. You guys are at the helm of a major Renaissance. You are used to think big. You have to think big and you have to be optimistic, or you have to be grateful. What puts you in this position? What are you going to do with it? What do you absolutely what are you going to do with

01:26:39 --> 01:26:47

people that are overwhelmed by sadness now, let us all be ones that are healed by the sadness of the remedies. The sadness that he offers in this book,

01:26:48 --> 01:27:26

are some of our prayers, our recitation of the Quran, and our learning in our brotherhood among each other, and our sincere counsel to one another, a means by which mended hearts are broken hearts are healed now as a Jamaican massages in our communities. And our MSA is a place where brotherhood and tolerance and understanding and good feelings towards each other are fostered. And jealousy and ill feelings and anger and suspicion and hatred are removed, and milazzo to make us a people that become an example for everyone else in the world. That this is this is what beautiful that's this is how Islam makes life beautiful. And this is what makes Muslims beautiful barakallahu.

01:27:31 --> 01:27:35

Li apologize for taking so long today. But if you guys have any questions, which I'm sure not.

01:27:49 --> 01:28:12

So I'm showing you guys, basically, the procedure we're gonna have a q&a is that you raise your hand, we have volunteers going around handing out the index cards and pens. So you raise your hand, they're gonna give you an index card, they're gonna give you a pen, you give the index card back to them, and they'll bring it up here to us. So with that being said, while you guys are writing your questions, and while you guys are getting the cards and stuff, I have a few announcements to make.

01:28:14 --> 01:28:38

And I really appreciate some people actually this time came up to us beforehand, ask us about, we can give these announcements usually with just a last minute walk into this into this announcement. It was way more organized this time, sort of turning point for women and families is having their fifth annual Leadership Program next month. So and please listen to this very careful because I think this is very important for Muslim sisters especially.

01:28:41 --> 01:29:16

Their program is called Mecca to Manhattan Muslim moving to Muslim women moving backwards. It's a it's an eight week workshop series for Muslim girls ages 13 to 20. They'll feature different Muslim professional women every week. And this is a unique opportunity for Muslim girls to relive the legacy of Muslim women as leaders of their society. The space is extremely limited. And the deadline to apply is actually tonight. So you can contact sister Maha after so if she could like raise her hand or something right there in the corner, his sister

01:29:17 --> 01:29:28

is right there. So she's organizing this she's she's in charge of this. So if you guys want to apply for this, if you are interested, go to her and speak to her inshallah. Another announcement that we have is that we have events coming up

01:29:29 --> 01:29:59

is that we have the event coming up more events from UC MSA. One event is a leadership workshop. The title is are you ready, ready to leave with a question mark. A lot of times what we see is in my experience with MSA is that we have hundreds and hundreds of volunteers literally hundreds of volunteers but nobody is really there to take an initiative to lead them to organize them to be there to support them. So you can have 100 volunteers but they

01:30:00 --> 01:30:08

There's no leaders there, it's not really going to work. So we have a workshop where the boss is going to be the speaker, it's going to be February 13. Guys, please can you keep it down a little bit.

01:30:13 --> 01:30:17

The event is not immediate guys. So if you want to leave, do

01:30:18 --> 01:30:45

so there's a lot of people here, if you make a lot of noise, it's going to be if everybody starts making noise, it's gonna get really loud in here. So February 13, will be our leadership workshop is going to be from 1213 12:15pm to 1:30pm. If you guys are available, please do come by, there's going to be free food in the box is going to be the speaker. Like I said, we need leaders in our community. We do have a lot of volunteers, but we have no leaders have a lot of volunteers without a leader. It doesn't really work out.

01:30:48 --> 01:31:04

And with that being said, Brother, no one is going to be at Jamaica Muslim center tomorrow, he extended his day off from the New York so he's going to be in Jamaica, Muslim Central, the event will be at seven o'clock and it will go till 10:30pm. Tomorrow, tomorrow at

01:31:06 --> 01:31:08

7pm to 10pm. Right.

01:31:11 --> 01:31:24

So with that being said, if you guys have any I haven't seen in parts come up here. I'm assuming his lecture was extremely great. Usually what happens if there's questions is either the lecture was extremely varied or like nobody understood anything.

01:31:25 --> 01:31:34

The second one the first one. So questions, please come on. Let's try to bring him up. So brother, no one can read these questions.

01:31:36 --> 01:31:37

You can you guys can leave them on the table.

01:31:41 --> 01:32:10

Another thing is like there's a lot of people in here, especially sisters, especially sisters, with children. So those young people, I guess we can stand for a little bit. Let the sisters which children sit on the on the chairs, there's a lot of, I guess, elders, I don't want to say, Well, people, they might get offended. elders say, standing up, if you could switch, you know, there's a lot of space over here. So if you guys could move up a little bit. So there's a lot of people at the doorway over, please could you guys move up a little bit, so that people inside can come in.

01:32:14 --> 01:32:17

And with that being said, after our invite

01:32:18 --> 01:32:20

to the stage by thanking the volunteers.

01:32:22 --> 01:32:25

We can do this quite because we can really do this quietly, I'm pretty sure.

01:32:30 --> 01:32:34

I'd like to thank the volunteers that helped make this happen.

01:32:35 --> 01:32:54

And I know I say like weird things sometimes, but I'm just gonna keep it. Thank you very much. Last time, what we did was, we had everybody stages. at once. I think I'm gonna try it again, because it's gonna be pretty cool. With 1000 people the same ones. So this is gonna be for the volunteers. We're gonna say

01:32:55 --> 01:32:58

three to one.

01:33:16 --> 01:33:23

Okay, I agree that we have many motivated students with lots of potential but as you may be aware of new york police department spying Office of students

01:33:25 --> 01:33:33

in our works to further our aspiration, how do you suggest we deal with these situations? You don't deal with them, just don't do anything shady, and you'll be fine.

01:33:37 --> 01:33:48

What is the best way to convince someone that there is a God, you don't convince anyone there's a God that's already there. What you can with when you start going into the scientific or the logical,

01:33:49 --> 01:34:11

then it just becomes an endless debate, what you can do, debates are bad, always they're always a bad idea. There's rarely indication with the nature of good idea. And that's not to be confused, debating the dogma, because that's not by definition means invitation, you don't invite someone to your house. And so there's two different things. However, there are some good books that I recommend for people that are having

01:34:12 --> 01:34:52

Gnosticism, atheist atheism, that type of tendency. There's a book I think it's available on Amazon now. It's called God is found and the skeptic mind. But goddess skeptic might not believe the author's say the same thing. I think it's a brilliant work of Professor. He's a professor of anthropology, Muslim professor of anthropology that traveled all over the Muslim world, and did interviews with views of worth having agnostic types of issues and ethical issues with Islam. And he outlined them and dealt with them in easy language, even though he has a pretty extensive background in theology and the philosophical arguments for itself. So I think it's a good resource for Muslims

01:34:52 --> 01:34:54

or even non Muslims that are having that sort of

01:34:57 --> 01:34:58

question.

01:35:00 --> 01:35:00

What is the gap?

01:35:02 --> 01:35:04

What is the way to get married right now?

01:35:17 --> 01:35:19

In this case, brothers silence is not accepted.

01:35:21 --> 01:35:23

I don't know what to tell you.

01:35:29 --> 01:35:32

I can't even try to go with torn clothes, sit under a tree and like

01:35:36 --> 01:35:38

somebody will show up and offer you a job.

01:35:39 --> 01:35:40

That's not gonna happen.

01:35:42 --> 01:35:43

But yeah, it's a great question.

01:35:51 --> 01:35:58

How can I ask how or when should I ask her all the time? All, especially in such a great time.

01:35:59 --> 01:36:34

before breaking fast, that's a great time to since complaining is allowed. Are there any advocates to whom I complain? I look, let's just categorize completely. That's an important question. Let's break complaining into two parts. complaining and criticizing and complaining as in, you know, seeking desperate need for help. Right? And this is only permissible, it's actually a beautiful thing. It's a show of love to love your life not this problem. I don't know what else to turn to. You're the only one who can help me. There's no complaining what you're actually needing more than complaining. Okay, but complaining as in

01:36:40 --> 01:36:41

the future like

01:36:44 --> 01:36:46

I can't get married right now.

01:36:52 --> 01:36:55

That's, that's not healthy. That's actually the that's

01:36:56 --> 01:37:03

complaining that the first type of complaining is actually the opposite of being grateful.

01:37:04 --> 01:37:24

And being grateful is at the core of our religion, like we are appear to be defined with certain qualities, the one of the first qualities we have is we are a grateful people. That's what we are. So if you're, and we're in a consumer society, where the cool thing to do is critique things, right? So we're constantly in a mode of complaining, you're, you're reading things you're

01:37:25 --> 01:37:53

thinking about. So you're reading movies, or you're reading the new phone that came out, we're complaining about the operating system, or you're complaining about this car, or you're complaining about the government or you're complaining about your friends and what they said, just constant complaints, or complaining with your comments under a YouTube video, or whatever you're complaining. And that's, that's that state, it keeps you from being a grateful person. So that's not a healthy road to go down. And unfortunately, that's very common among us.

01:37:56 --> 01:38:07

What's the stance of Islam when it comes to music? Is this I mean, is it permissible to compose same music without portraying anything of Islamic? Thank you for telling us your name. I will not mention your name.

01:38:09 --> 01:38:16

I will answer that question. Because I'm not qualified. I can answer questions. You have to ask

01:38:17 --> 01:38:19

what books did you study? Oh,

01:38:21 --> 01:38:34

god, what are several, I studied sort of an untraditional way with my teacher. And then I studied logic. I'm also very impressed with the works of Dr.

01:38:35 --> 01:38:55

Pillai. his PhD thesis. Actually, the junior scholar Dr. benighted can email me now to love. He's got several theses and all of them are very powerful, very beneficial works. There is actually learning from the Muslim Central the novel Muslim Central gave me a gift a long time ago, which helps solidify my foundation in Arabic, it's called

01:38:58 --> 01:39:11

I think it's published out of Lebanon, good, excellent book. In Canada, there's a bookstore, I don't know, I keep getting these gifts. So I don't really know where I can tell you by them. But there's a there's a dictionary of Arabic Arabic.

01:39:13 --> 01:39:36

At the end, the last section of proof is actually the grammatical implications of certain words and structures, and so really comprehensive in depth. But my favorite book on Arabic grammar of all time, by far is actually will do is called ally. This article is in two volumes, but 2000 pages altogether. It's the ultimate Encyclopedia of Arabic grammar, and it is just a work of beauty. And it was done by an uncle in Canada.

01:39:42 --> 01:39:59

Why did Marian wish that she never existed when she was sad. She was more distressed when she was said and those were were words of desperation. And when people are desperate, they say things and these words are captured in the poem to just illustrate how human people are. You know, when people are in that kind of situation, they say I wish I now

01:40:00 --> 01:40:11

existed, this is actually similar to even. And this is, by the way, it's tied more to her humiliation when she goes back and what people are going to say. And similarly, the humiliation that workers

01:40:12 --> 01:40:29

was afraid of when he will stand in front of a lot made him wish he was a blade of grass, which is the same as saying he wishes he didn't exist. But that did not mean she had suicidal thoughts. She just, this was her way of saying I wish I didn't have to face people. I wish I didn't have to face this circumstance, it's so overwhelming for

01:40:34 --> 01:40:40

my wife doesn't pray and spends most of the time trying to plan fashion shows and girl party.

01:40:42 --> 01:40:49

This gets me sad, which turns into anger is advice both of us, you guys need to see a counselor.

01:40:52 --> 01:41:26

You guys need to see a counselor. This is not resolved in the q&a session. You guys need to if you're not compatible, and it's not working, then you obviously there's loving every marriage, and you have to do everything to make your marriage work. And it's not just about what's religious and non religious. It's about making both people emotionally happy with each other. counseling is sometimes the only options. And I know we think housing is taboo and people that are seeking the heavy counseling, that is not true. Seeking counseling is actually a sunopta products on the market. So it's not beneath any of the profits. If someone had an argument. He had an argument with I shall

01:41:26 --> 01:41:39

give up and they couldn't resolve it. So she said we need a counselor. And he said, Okay, what do you rock? You know, what do you recommend she was you pick? And so he said, Okay, let's get surveyed. And she said, No, he loves you too much.

01:41:41 --> 01:41:45

I can't wait. So he said, Okay, let's pick her dad. She said fine.

01:41:47 --> 01:41:51

So he came, and they started telling him so he said, you know,

01:41:53 --> 01:41:59

why don't you start? Why don't you tell them what happened? And she goes, No, I want you to start I want to make sure you get it right.

01:42:02 --> 01:42:34

But he's a husband up in the house. How could you say that? He says Why? This is a very family situation. These are human beings. So she says that animal work in acidic is not his he cannot take the hat off. Right? He's not a father in law ever anymore. He's basically only the the the right hand of the messengers. So he sees his dog speak like that, to those who have a lot. He tries to grab her neck and strangle or speak those who love his weight. And the promises want to break it up, kick him out of the house and say, okay, we can handle this ourselves.

01:42:35 --> 01:42:42

And the problem disappeared after that. But the point of it is even the counselor to humanity said we should get a counselor,

01:42:43 --> 01:43:18

the counselor, the humanities have to get a marriage counselor. What does that telling you? It's not beneath you. It's not humiliating. It's not embarrassing. And I urge some of it some of you young men and women that are going into the psychology field, pursue counseling because of dire need of the oma. It's a dire need. You've counseling, marriage counseling and study from the Islamic perspective. inshallah, by the time you guys graduate and get your higher credentials, hopefully institutions for learning that stuff from the Islamic perspective will be in place. And I pray for that because we have to develop those institutions, anyhow. Could you come to my school, please

01:43:18 --> 01:43:18

email me?

01:43:21 --> 01:43:27

No, sorry, I can't I can't come to your school. I can't even go to my kids school.

01:43:29 --> 01:43:34

Is there available discussion? Are there resources beneficial for you that want to be leaders.

01:43:35 --> 01:43:49

You shouldn't want to be a leader. You should just have qualities of leaders. And then leadership just come. Wanting leadership is not a good, good thing. But there are plenty of things you can learn that can instill good leadership qualities in you.

01:43:50 --> 01:43:56

Actually, the amount harvested from Irving, Texas for this thesis on leadership in Islam, pretty cool book.

01:43:58 --> 01:44:11

Leadership, best practices for medical school leaders. in any capacity. I did a series. I think it's up on YouTube. It's on our podcast, too. It's called the Muslims work together. It's an outline for Muslims to be able to do organizational work and

01:44:13 --> 01:44:15

when you come into brooklyn college, I don't know

01:44:16 --> 01:44:19

is there any example in the Bronx who about to

01:44:21 --> 01:44:31

to potential getting married and then things not working out? Actually the only Yeah, but things not working out. The examples are the wife have moved the life of

01:44:32 --> 01:44:39

his wife wouldn't work out. Yeah, that was kind of obvious. They're they're actually also really evil couples that worked out.

01:44:40 --> 01:44:43

worked out pretty well. So if you're working in tandem now.

01:44:46 --> 01:44:48

There's actually a marriage of the marriage.

01:44:52 --> 01:45:00

Number 33. The only companion mentioned by name, who married a good woman it was sabia but he came from a different

01:45:00 --> 01:45:06

Class of society and she was from a different class of society. And they had different cultural background and different lifestyle that he would have.

01:45:07 --> 01:45:28

So it didn't work out at the end that he kept begging the Prophet sites to let him divorce his wife, but the Prophet kept turning him down, because it was the Prophet so it's on his recommendation that they should get married, which is another awesome lesson just because a shave recommended somebody doesn't mean it's gonna work out. You can't blame the shape later, the prophet recommended this marriage, but didn't didn't work out in the end.

01:45:29 --> 01:45:51

She just couldn't, couldn't reconcile the two different lifestyles, even though they're both some hobbies, and they're both great. Just because you're good Muslims doesn't mean you're compatible, either. That's the other cool thing here, right? There's a lot of enemies gonna work out for you. You can still hate his guts, or not like him or whatever, it can still happen. So spirituality and compatibility are two different things. Right? So there's the example of that also, in

01:45:52 --> 01:46:00

the only marriage proposal process in the army, the only one is how Moosa got married. It's a great story. One of my favorites

01:46:02 --> 01:46:04

I'll come back soon and tell you that

01:46:06 --> 01:46:19

it's really remarkable just put the details in there on how the marriage takes place that marriage process with so many of you have trouble with the blonde is pretty amazing insight into the story of Mousavi Philip and how he got married.

01:46:24 --> 01:46:37

What type of sadness was exhibited when the Prophet almost divorced his wife that's the sadness when you suffer sadness from others at the behest of others this disappointment and this is a part of that you can you can have that

01:46:39 --> 01:46:52

is there a specific reason why lust problem with Allah chose to reveal the Quran Arabic to the inner Yes, there is but this is not the lecture for that conversation. Where can you find those girls from Saudi? That's a good question who do not

01:46:53 --> 01:46:55

have those Gods for you?

01:46:56 --> 01:46:57

You know, the one about moving on in life?

01:46:58 --> 01:46:59

Okay.

01:47:04 --> 01:47:06

So my dad's really long so we will have been looking for it

01:47:08 --> 01:47:09

is only temporary, you will find

01:47:17 --> 01:47:18

yourself

01:47:19 --> 01:47:21

that you define

01:47:22 --> 01:47:29

beautifully. How can we translate it in words other than mercy? I don't know. That's why I waited for 20 minutes

01:47:33 --> 01:47:35

or does that just imply

01:47:36 --> 01:47:44

love doesn't happen all the time. But even hope is such a cool word. You know, who actually needs to fill the container

01:47:45 --> 01:47:53

actually literally means how old everything is to fill the container also means to see because the seed grows into something what is defined as something that grows

01:47:54 --> 01:47:56

something that fills you beautiful

01:47:57 --> 01:47:59

anyhow, and some say comes from Farsi

01:48:01 --> 01:48:08

and Arabic comes with it really interesting. What What is the solution for brothers and sisters that have relationships? The solution is to have

01:48:16 --> 01:48:47

Okay, okay, I'll just be upfront with you. This is not a relationship session. I'll just say a one liner. You like it You like it? If you don't? If you like the girl and you're talking to her and you feel bad about it if you don't have the guts to go talk to her father about it, leave it alone and walk away. But if you really love her then you will have you'll manda you'll tell her parents and you'll tell her parents say yea or nay and you move on to life. Don't string her along and ruin her life on your own. Don't do that to yourself. Don't do that to her. If you love her, and you wouldn't want to cause her that kind of suffering later on. And that humiliation to her family. So please man

01:48:47 --> 01:48:48

up, okay.

01:49:00 --> 01:49:01

Texting right now.

01:49:15 --> 01:49:16

Okay, so

01:49:18 --> 01:49:34

now you guys weird relationship problems, man. This guy just called me randomly brother. This girl in college I moved over. Okay, now, I want to marry her. Okay, but the other day she told me that she's considering someone. What should I do? I'm so sad.

01:49:38 --> 01:49:46

Okay, I'm considering someone works out it works out good for her. If not, and are you ready to kill me?

01:49:49 --> 01:49:50

crying when you

01:49:51 --> 01:49:52

call me back.

01:49:54 --> 01:49:54

crying to me.

01:49:59 --> 01:50:00

I love this.

01:50:00 --> 01:50:00

But

01:50:05 --> 01:50:06

I know I know I'm in New York,

01:50:12 --> 01:50:47

or any such literature. So if you will find in these things, what you're looking for, you'll find what you're looking for. So for instance, in other poetry, I don't know specifically the poetry, the prophets, I haven't spoken to the second person, right? And so consider this a form of shape, because Is he alive or not? And all of that, or, you know, some sometimes the praise of the prophets, I still haven't said, who will save us on judgment day, if not you, right. And what people perceive that to mean as well, you're asking them to save you instead of a lot of things. But this is actually a matter of literary perspective. Though, the writer may well have intended that he's

01:50:47 --> 01:50:53

depicting a scene on judgment day, and a little refuses the shadow every messenger, and the English of it accepts it.

01:50:54 --> 01:51:20

And the void is trying to depict that scene with a Muslim desperately saying God only hope we have that every other Prophet is saying no, see? no see. And that's what he intended. But then later on, when that literature is misread, or read with not a good insight into the literature, and yeah, people can have weird interpretations or opinions of it. So yeah, it's you're gonna get out of this, what you what you put in, you know, these kinds of things. That's why my recommendation is also below the onset. Let me just show you the

01:51:22 --> 01:51:30

issues, because now I can discredit him, because he said something that I wanted to hear or didn't want to hear, you can please people let them know.

01:51:32 --> 01:51:37

pleasing people is a canyon, the bottom of which is not found. So you know, what stick tells us to be happy.

01:51:38 --> 01:51:51

That's good enough for you. Can you please restore restate the name of the school you stated in the section one? Sorry, Sam, I talked about it several slides. But I did emphasize what causes sort of classes and some things from sort of,

01:51:52 --> 01:51:55

especially the Iowa he gave a whole bunch of his people.

01:51:57 --> 01:51:58

A lot of questions here.

01:52:12 --> 01:52:24

When family members are acting in an extremely negative manner, even dangerous towards one, okay, how can that act after years of patience, and pain? How can one act?

01:52:26 --> 01:52:48

abuse is abuse. And Islam does not tell you to be patient against abuse. If you're being abused, then you have to take action and do something about it. It doesn't matter if it's from your parents, or from your husband, from your wife, you have to take action, you have to protect yourself. It's a matter of sometimes protecting children, you have to do whatever it takes to protect the children. safety comes first.

01:52:49 --> 01:53:22

And if there are situations of danger, that don't say there's a religious verdict, or you're not a good Muslim, if you didn't, you know, if you spoke up about it, or you tried to do something about there's no such thing that's entirely bogus. It's entirely but there's no such thing. You know, there's, you know, it's done that you might think that some some wife has been beaten by her husband, and she goes to the mom. And the mom says, Well, you know, it's just a bother for you, you should just have sort of No, no, that is not this religion. I don't know what religion that is. But it's not it's not. It's not that we have no tolerance in our religion for abuse. There is not the

01:53:22 --> 01:53:52

words of the Prophet is up against the abusers are very harsh. The prophet Isaiah wouldn't even tolerate abuse against an animal or a curse, the one who he saw the snack mark on a donkey, and he said, No curse, the one who did this. He couldn't stand he an animal being slapped on the face. An animal being slapped on the face, is not something that we take lightly. And that's physical abuse. It's not a joking matter. Seek help. Seek to go to an even if it's anonymous.

01:53:53 --> 01:54:14

For help, yes, go look around and Muslims are helping you. If they're professionals helping you then seek to help seek the hotlines. If you can find a Muslim counselor well and good, but protect yourself, protect your children, and do not allow abuse in a family and don't let it go quiet. Don't let it go quiet. It is not something we can tolerate at all. This is the kind of thing that destroys the society from within when it's not addressed.

01:54:19 --> 01:54:23

Why didn't Busan isn't killed and why that's the story to be told. That's a

01:54:24 --> 01:54:25

really fantastic story.

01:54:27 --> 01:54:28

I can't tell you now.

01:54:31 --> 01:54:37

Would you say there's a need for Islamic counselors? No, you should have said did you say there's a need for some counselor? Because I did.

01:54:39 --> 01:54:59

How would one go about this by studying counseling, I believe Western Sciences, Psychology and counseling, have a lot to offer in this area. And Islamic counseling is now really coming to life. There are very, very few institutions like there's a no no religion to me, you know, but they are Institute's that's our killer.

01:55:00 --> 01:55:03

fornia is offering a two years Islamic counseling program

01:55:04 --> 01:55:23

or like a master's degree. So that's a good opportunity. I believe Hartford seminary has some counseling also, which is another professor there. But they have a lot of counseling courses for Muslims, especially address to the moms and things like that. So there are opportunities like that.

01:55:29 --> 01:55:36

If a spouse is abusive, and we make God to stay with him with them, or to leave them, this is not a matter of thoughts and matter of actions.

01:55:38 --> 01:55:50

I don't know how you define abusive, but if your husband's abusive, you have no reason to be with him. And I'm not telling you to go get divorce because I don't know what you mean by abuse. He's like he came home and said, Well, how come you didn't eat chicken today?

01:55:56 --> 01:56:30

through your situation, seek a counselor, first of all, seek a counselor because this one line you said to me does not represent your situation. Your situation is a lot more complicated than this. And it's making you wonder why these questions are important. Not so I can just, you know, dodge them. But it makes you realize how many of us need this stuff, man. How many counselors are needed? This is serious enough? Do we want to serve to help you become a counselor? This is really important. And by the way, don't become a counselor if you don't have a tough, like, tough mark. You're like the sensitive type don't become a counselor

01:56:31 --> 01:56:32

than the guides

01:56:35 --> 01:56:36

are not helping well.

01:56:50 --> 01:57:23

Okay, this question is being a serious issue. This question is being asked by someone who wasn't abusive marriage is now struggling, struggling single mother. I know. Bless me in so many ways. But I can't help but feeling so sad that I thought I did everything right for for marriage. And I still ended up like this. How can I battle these thoughts I haven't prayed in so long. You need to start praying. And you need to start thinking that a lot of soldier put you in such a tough marriage, and you survived it. And there are so many people who would not have survived that. And a lot has not put anybody in a test that they can't handle that marriage that you pass, and that that huge

01:57:23 --> 01:57:56

mountain that you cross and skill is a testimony to your strength. You shouldn't be sad about that you should be grateful to Allah that He made you stronger. And you can deal with any problem in life. Now, because you've passed those off the hard part already. You should be optimistic, the clouds are gone, the sun is shining out. This is what you should be grateful about. And you did everything right. That's not. So why do you think work things work out around you? Look, that is not how the world works. You can do everything right, and nothing will go your way. There's no formula in Islam or violence design, that you do your part and everybody else will do their part. That would

01:57:56 --> 01:57:59

be an ideal world.

01:58:00 --> 01:58:12

You know, we don't live in an ideal world. The messengers did their part, but they weren't depressed after 10 years or 900 years of preaching and saying nobody's listening. No, they kept on going because Allah said you just do your part. Don't worry about anybody else.

01:58:14 --> 01:58:47

The problem is, if someone would give us full pauses talks, nobody's going to give a better lecture to the Prophet. Nobody listen. Can you imagine nobody listens. And the Lord gives him a lecture that gives this messenger lecture just Can you just remind you're just sitting there like, don't worry about what people do or not, you just do your part. That's not really what people say you're not in control over them. I'm not gonna ask you about what they did. I'll ask you what you do. Allah will ask you about how you handle the situation. And will let you provide has given you that strength and you you've recuperated from it, stop believing about what happened. Turn to a lot and be grateful

01:58:47 --> 01:59:01

that you are out of it, that your children are now in a better situation than they would have been otherwise and may take out suffering that you had and make it a means of forgiveness for all the sins that you've had in your life and make that into the lives of your children.

01:59:02 --> 01:59:07

But really use that as an experience to get closer to Allah azza wa jal and doesn't matter if you paint so long tonight we'll pray

01:59:09 --> 01:59:10

is a marriage done?

01:59:11 --> 01:59:17

Without a girl's consent? valid question, but it should have the girls consent. I don't know where that came from.

01:59:34 --> 01:59:34

Okay.

01:59:36 --> 01:59:38

Yeah, so sadness that we have.

01:59:41 --> 01:59:42

I can't read your handwriting.

01:59:46 --> 01:59:46

Okay.

01:59:52 --> 01:59:52

What's

01:59:59 --> 01:59:59

up

02:00:02 --> 02:00:02

Okay,

02:00:05 --> 02:00:05

so

02:00:07 --> 02:00:08

keep going.

02:00:22 --> 02:00:35

I am a student attending high school, I'm very, very interested in the beta dream, can you please give me some suggestions as to how I can raise the money, I will need to study

02:00:36 --> 02:01:12

a lot less you. If you're really, really interested in cream, don't worry about the money it'll come. What you need to worry about is memorization of fraud. Don't even think about the new program. If you haven't memorized, at least, that you're and you're reading like a pro, I'm not saying that we don't stop at any letter you're reading is flawless. And like, after next year, because you're still in high school after next year, I'm not going to lower but please the requirements for joining the game program. So you will have to have at least 100 hours of Arabic study off of all of our resources online completed before you come. So when you come, I turn you into a monster. So I will

02:01:12 --> 02:01:25

not I don't want to take like mediocre students, I want to take top notch students and beat them into shape. That's what I want to do. This is not this right here is brother neck. Back on campus is a stab

02:01:26 --> 02:01:33

at tyrannical ruler. There are students that cry in my class. And it's not because it's a spiritual experience.

02:01:35 --> 02:01:46

I beat this stuff into people, there are people that drop out of the program because they can't take the intensity. There are there are people that cry and come and meet with me and Christ

02:01:48 --> 02:01:50

will take it gone.

02:01:55 --> 02:01:59

That's what I want. I want to touch for those that have serious work ethic. And

02:02:00 --> 02:02:36

you have good intention, there will be plenty of people ready to sponsor you and come virtually all good number of the students I've had from New York City, somebody sponsored them. If you don't find a sponsor, I can't promise you but I can help find sponsors in the New York area for you. A couple of people actually even already approached me and said they're interested in sponsoring students. But I said I will only, you know, validate that request. If it comes after a lot of you know, the applicant passes through a lot of filters. The Dream program is not going to be fun. I'm not here to advertise it for you. But if you're serious about Arabic studies, then consider it's not going to be

02:02:36 --> 02:02:49

fun. Like it sounds like you're going to be going abroad. Because when you go abroad, you can go into an institute, you're not doing well have dropped out, get a private tutor that's not working out, go somewhere else, try another Institute and have fun while most of the time and chill and come back and say

02:02:53 --> 02:02:59

to be program, I kick people out of the program. When they don't do their homework. I kick people out.

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There's a drill sergeant approach. So if you're very, very serious about Arabic studies, you're more than welcome. And

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well, if you're not, then don't think you don't dream about the new program.

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I'm telling you, I will tell you, it's just I mean, it's depressing. But I would encourage you with one thing, as soon as I come out, as soon as I come out, especially now that I've been a tougher graduate, but my expectations lie when they sit there and they read a book, or they read a book. And they're just reading to me, I cry inside like, Oh, I'm so happy.

02:03:42 --> 02:03:47

I mean, just I knew this kid four months ago, and didn't know a word. And now he's reading in Arabic.

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And he's explaining it to me in Arabic.

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And I'm just sitting there listening going

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wow,

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this this testimonial and judgment theory here. Just got you know, but then I that's all inside and outside.

02:04:07 --> 02:04:11

So that was the last question time is up. I really enjoyed coming here.

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And don't just save all of these questions. And I'm going to try to meet through all of them inshallah. And they will actually probably help inform my future talks.

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And I like to give professors relevant to other people's concerns are so I'll look at these carefully and

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make sure

02:04:37 --> 02:04:43

we stay in your seats Actually, we need to be careful and how we let people out. There's

02:04:44 --> 02:04:46

please like just to sit down for two seconds.

02:04:53 --> 02:04:53

Okay.

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The people in the back. They need to exit press to the system to the back of exit and the

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People have a need, they need to make room if they want to, if they want to.

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They don't want to exit, please make room for people to exit. But that being said, it's

02:05:13 --> 02:05:55

okay to announcements guys, that's all up to announcements have promised. One announcement is my dear friend and teacher, Chicago, NASA is coming with the meaningful prayer course to New York. And he's coming April 14, April 12, to NYU Islamic Center NYU. So if you guys can catch that, I would appreciate that. I think it's a really good course for your prayers and understanding what you're saying. And the second important announcement that I'd really like you to try to check out, but you know.tv.tv Okay, it's a it's a website where I put a translation of the entire audio and video I'll also put the Arabic classes I teach my daughter, I teach her 15 minutes of Arabic a day for putting

02:05:55 --> 02:05:58

those up on vayner.tv so check those URLs out.

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Sample videos on there too. I appreciate that once again, thank you so much. Before we end the event I'd like to present the new model with a few guests

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so they would come into my stomachs too often so hopefully that that helps out and again like when it comes to the exit process please brothers in the back leave so the system

02:06:32 --> 02:06:43

leaves like oh, get out and the brother is in the front please leave an exit to the sisters can leave existence I'm sure how to do you

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like

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to leave right now.