The speakers discuss the negative impact of negative emotions on society, including dehydration, starvation, and homelessness. They emphasize the importance of understanding and embracing negative emotions for resolving difficult situations and avoiding overwhelming emotions. The speakers also touch on the negative impact of sadness and anger on emotions and actions, and encourage people to recount their experiences and recount their story.
00:00:00 -->
00:00:41
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu wa salam O Allah shuffle ambia he will mousseline early he
will be Minister nabeshima de la Medina Allahu Miranda mean home Amina Amina Mohammed assadi hurt,
whatever, whatever sub sub Amira but it means that we let him initiate honorable Jean. First
gurunath curcuma surely will attack feronia you, Valentina. monastary new bisabolol sada in de la
Sabine, rubbish a Saudi Arabia silly Emily walk Luca tambien. Listen, if only I mean yeah, but I
mean from my bad. So I was informed that I will be addressing all of you, I was told there were 500
of you that was a filthy lie.
00:00:43 -->
00:01:05
And then I was told that it's actually going to be some kind of a casual conversation. And then I
was told it was going to be me addressing you on the way here. And then they asked me what is the
topic and I said, I don't know. And when we pulled in here, there cars parked all the way to I don't
know where. And I told the fellows that were driving with me, I better figure out what I'm going to
talk about, because
00:01:06 -->
00:01:31
there's some serious expectation. First of all, I'd like to express how grateful I am to have this
opportunity to address not only all of you, but to come to this wonderful country and just this
incredibly beautiful city. So far, I got here yesterday around Easter time. And from then until now,
I'm completely blown away. I'm just absolutely blown away. And there's no way I'm, if Allah wills, I
am absolutely coming back here in shallow data.
00:01:33 -->
00:02:14
I mean, what are the mean? So that's the first thing. The second thing is just knowing that my
mother's and my daughters, my sisters have filled the masala on a weekly basis. The main masala of
the masjid gives me so much joy. It makes me so happy that that is the case here. Because there are
so many parts of the oma where our mothers and our daughters are denied their basic access to the
house of Allah. And that's a tragedy. I think it's one of the great calamities of the oma. And to
see that here is actually inspirational, as something that I will take back and I can argue with you
I can share with you that even Muslims living in western countries don't have this kind of thinking
00:02:14 -->
00:02:51
yet. So you're actually ahead of us and we need to learn from you. And that's something that's an
inspiration, I'll take back with me and share with the community that I come from inshallah Tada,
and Milla continue to strengthen that and make this not only a source of inspiration for all of you,
I would personally argue These are my own convictions. And I'm not saying this because I'm
addressing, you know, my mothers and my daughters today, I'm, I'm saying this very directly and very
openly to all of you. I personally believe that if we don't invest into community, to populations,
children's education and women's education, if we don't invest in these two, then there is no future
00:02:51 -->
00:03:02
for this woman. There is no future for this because that those are the two entities that ensure the
future for the oma, the thing about men is that they can get some really good sleep during a dose of
00:03:03 -->
00:03:22
a hot bar. And, and even when they don't, what they what they learn more often than not stays with
them. The thing about women is that it doesn't stay with them, it can actually get pretty annoying
because it never stays with them. And they, they have to share it and they have to, you know,
00:03:23 -->
00:03:35
part, you know, in part, what they've learned, etc. Right? So, and we'll talk about that a little
bit today. And I did want to cater the message I want to share with you specific to my sisters, my
daughters, my mother's today inshallah huhtala.
00:03:36 -->
00:04:15
But the other thing that I really want to just share with you is about children and children's
education, because 15 years from now, those are the adults that make up the oma. So when we're
investing in our children's education, we're investing in what the oma looks like 1015 years from
now, that's what we're actually doing. And that's not a very distant future, that's actually just
around the corner, those same children that are running around making noise in the machine today are
going to be running these massages, if Allah wills not too long from now. And the people that are
right now funding and supporting all of our institutions, helping us build and maintain the massage
00:04:15 -->
00:04:54
aid and the modalities, those people are going to be gone or retired or not in a position to support
and that new generation of people is going to be there and they're going to determine what is it
that we should be investing in? What is it that we should be supporting? So we're actually investing
in our own future when we do that when we invest in our mothers and our children and May Allah make
you a really a striking example for the rest of the oma of how that is to be done. inshallah
Hurtado. What I wanted to share with you today, just a few reflections from the Quran about the
subject of summer. It's something that's been on my mind for a few months now. Because many of you
00:04:54 -->
00:05:00
know and a lot of you might not know a couple of years ago, I decided to begin my study of
00:05:00 -->
00:05:40
Quran all over again. And with no assumptions, I decided to become a student of the Quran as though
I've never studied it before. And instead of drawing upon knowledge or things that I had heard
before, I wanted to come to those conclusions on my own originally. And that journey has led me to
in very different directions. And one of those directions is actually a lot of the things that I
heard growing up about Islam, about a lot about the Koran, you know about concepts like even suburb,
I started challenging what I heard. And I came to discover that I don't actually agree with a lot of
things I heard originally, and that Allah is Allah, his book is telling me something else. And what
00:05:40 -->
00:06:22
I heard oftentimes from my elders and my teachers was something else. And I decided to be courageous
enough to disagree with what I heard, and try to find real conviction in Allah's words in the in the
teachings of our messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So I wanted to share something new that I
learned about sobor with you, that I didn't hear before myself and then that, that when I did come
to those realizations, I felt like millions of people around the world need to hear this or need to
know what Allah is saying. So I want to start first of all with something you might know, Musa
alayhis salam was the messenger sent with multiple missions. his earliest mission was to challenge
00:06:22 -->
00:07:01
the pharaoh Pharaoh, and to rescue the children of Israel from the clutches of the Pharaoh. And of
course, Allah gave him victory over fit, Arlen and they were able to cross the water and now they're
in the desert. But I want you to understand the population of Muslims that was with him. They were
the Muslims of that time. The Israelites are the Muslims of that time, they were the oma. That's why
they're talking about so much in the Quran. Because they are the previous believing oma, they are an
example for us, Musa alayhis salam is now with them in the desert, they have no shelter above their
heads, they have no food access there, there are hundreds of 1000s of them. And I want you to
00:07:01 -->
00:07:41
understand what they came from many of them are parents whose babies were slaughtered in front of
their eyes, you know that right? Their children were slaughtered in front of their eyes. And those
grieving parents are among his population. Many of them are those who have lived a life of straight
of slavery, humiliation degradation, on a daily basis. That's what they dealt with. These are people
what I'm trying to get at is these are people with very deep scars. They're not just a normal
population of people that moved from one location to another location. These are people that lived a
long time under very, very serious oppression. And that oppression reached the inside of their
00:07:41 -->
00:08:22
homes, it reached to the point where nothing can be more grieving than the loss of a child, and add
to that exponentially more the murder of a child and add to that far more the murder of a child in
front of your own eyes. And then add to that you can't even respond, you can't even react. And for
that to happen on such a massive scale, under the tyranny of fit our own, you know, you don't be
hoonah I'm not a home when you're stuck united is a home for them to mass slaughter their children
in front of their eyes, and let their women live. Why so they could have more children. That's why
they left the women live. So they could have more children because they still needed a slave
00:08:22 -->
00:08:32
population. So the women were considered factories for building the next generation of slaves.
That's what it was. They come from that background, and now they are in the desert.
00:08:33 -->
00:09:18
And in the desert, yes, they weren't. They were slaves, and now they're free, but they're also
dehydrated and starving, and homeless. So they're in a pretty bad place. But interestingly enough,
this is not the first time, Moosa has escaped Egypt. Musa alayhis salam, this is the second time
he's escaped Egypt. The first time he escaped Egypt, he also ended up in a desert. The first time he
escaped Egypt, they were also thirsty for his blood. So this is the second experience for Mossad a
serum. So now Musa alayhis salaam has to give them a speech. It's like a football you could say, in
solar off a piece of code by is recorded. He's going to take all this gathering of grieving people
00:09:18 -->
00:09:26
that have just and have gone through a very traumatic experience. And he's going to give them a
lecture. I would imagine that lecture is going to be about somebody
00:09:28 -->
00:09:43
that's what I would imagine because he will say tell them to be patient, to you know to stay strong
regardless of whatever has happened to them, etc. What is Musa alayhis salaam say to them? What is
the other than Arab bukem that in Shakur Toma as he did not come
00:09:44 -->
00:09:48
when your master declared to you if you're grateful if you were to be grateful at all.
00:09:49 -->
00:09:58
Allah has declared for you that I swear to it, I will absolutely absolutely absolutely increase for
you. Increase for you and increase for you.
00:09:59 -->
00:10:00
There was no
00:10:00 -->
00:10:03
mentioned patience was mentioned of gratitude.
00:10:04 -->
00:10:23
What do you want these people to be grateful for? These are people that lost their children. These
are people that lost their homes. These are people that are burning in the middle of the desert.
These are people that have every problem imaginable in front of them, and nothing good happening
before them. The only thing good that just happened is fairgrounds not going to kill them. But now
the desert will.
00:10:25 -->
00:11:06
That would have been a quick death, this is going to be a slow and painful death. That's the only
difference. Why should they be grateful? This is the worldview of the Koran, problems around you are
so many you can't even begin to you can't even stop listing them. If somebody were to open up and
say, here's what I'm going through a lot of us keep our problems to ourselves, we don't open up to
others about what challenges we have in our life. Every single one of us has a number of trials in
our life, not one. And and many of them keep us awake at night. Many of them have to do with our
family, many of them have to do with our personal selves. Many of them have to do with career or job
00:11:06 -->
00:11:24
or money or some there's so many problems, and you're surrounded by them. And there's no hope around
you, you're in the desert. You're in the middle of a desert. And Allah says, I'd like to help you
with your problem. I'd like to pull you out of this problem and give you more and more and more and
more.
00:11:25 -->
00:11:31
Okay, yeah, I would love to get some help. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to be
00:11:32 -->
00:11:45
grateful, I want you to be grateful, Allah is saying, you just show me the least bit of gratitude.
It's the maldi that's using the ayah to suggest the least bit of gratitude, if you are able to
demonstrate that
00:11:46 -->
00:12:03
then the rest of law will take care of he will increase you and he didn't say increase us in what it
could have been the verb zyada in the Arabic language is considered an ambiguous verb, what that
means in simple languages. When you say increase, it's not clear. If I say hey, I increased you.
00:12:04 -->
00:12:48
increase me in what problems? What did you increase me in blood pressure? You know, what, what did
you increase me in you have it's not clear. I have to say, I increased you in wealth, I increased
you in stress, I increased you in something. You know, Allah doesn't say what he will increase for
you. He just says I'll increase you. I swear to it, I'll increase you. Why? Because any one answer
would be good for one group of people and not for another group of people. And you don't need
increase in one thing, you need increase in a lot of things. You need increase in patience, but you
also need increase in risk. You need increase in in safety and security, you need increase in peace
00:12:48 -->
00:13:33
and tranquility, you need an increase in lots of things. So by not mentioning what he will increase
us in, he actually promised us all kinds of increase, as though what he will enhance for us is
beyond words. You know, so as he doesn't know, I'll absolutely enhance for you. So the first thing I
want to share with you is that the Korans own remedy for affliction for difficulty, when we are in a
very bad place in life, then you have to really like go through the empty shelves in your mind and
find the things that you must be grateful for, and hold on to them, and remind yourselves of them.
And when you can remember them, then Allah will start taking care of the other things that are
00:13:33 -->
00:13:34
overwhelming you
00:13:35 -->
00:13:53
this is actually a formula of the Quran. And you know, people sometimes when you're going through a
difficulty people come and tell you, yeah, you know, I know this was bad. I know the operation is
difficult. I know that this one passed away. But you know, hamdullah be grateful. And at that time
you say, Excuse me,
00:13:54 -->
00:14:19
easy for you to say. You're not going through it. You see what I'm saying? Because they're not going
through the pain you're going through. So you feel like they're talking to you like they expect you
to turn into an angel and you're not entitled to your emotions. And it backfires. It actually makes
you upset. I don't want to hear a lecture about be grateful. Please leave that to some you know. But
when you meet someone who's gone through the same kind of pain
00:14:20 -->
00:14:26
when you meet someone who's also suffered loss, and then you find that they're telling you to be
grateful. It's something else, isn't it?
00:14:27 -->
00:14:54
That's a different kind of message. It's not coming from someone who's just quoting something
insensitively they've actually lived through it, and then they're seeing it. And so Moosa and a Sam
has lived through this experience. So he's not just giving them this in theory. He's been exiled
before he's been persecuted before he's seen death in the middle of a desert before he's had a
broken back to the point where he says, I'll be in the Lima and delta.
00:14:56 -->
00:15:00
before he's been there before and from that place, he says, you know,
00:15:00 -->
00:15:04
If you can just be grateful, then Allah will increase that as he dinoco.
00:15:05 -->
00:15:47
Allah azza wa jal will say about this nation that was supposed to be become non existent in the
pages of history, the Israelites, they were supposed to just die in that desert, and nobody will
even know they ever existed. And Allah says Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah and we chose
these people over all other nations of the world, Allah gave them an empire that was bigger than the
pharaoh himself. Allah gave them governance in the world that was never imagined before. Allah gave
them prophet after prophet after prophet who had, you know, miracles that are beyond description.
And actually the most mentioned prophets in the Quran, or the Israelite prophets, Allah increase
00:15:47 -->
00:16:19
them in this dunya. And in the era, in so many ways, in so many opportunities, of course, they
didn't take advantage of those opportunities. That's a separate story. But let's come back to
ourselves. Allah azza wa jal has given us a message of support also. And this talk wasn't about
gratitude. It was about patience. It was supposed to be about suburb. But the first foundation of it
that I wanted to lay for myself and for all of you is, if you cannot, and if I cannot find in
myself, reasons to be grateful, patience is impossible.
00:16:20 -->
00:16:35
It's impossible. There is no way you will have patience in your life, if you don't have what first?
gratitude. If you don't have gratitude, patience is out of the question. I hope that much is clear.
Now, let's talk about patience itself.
00:16:36 -->
00:16:42
I won't give you a lecture on patience, I'll only tell you some things that I learned that are new
about patients like I was sharing with you before.
00:16:44 -->
00:16:46
When somebody passes away,
00:16:47 -->
00:16:51
and the mother or the child or the spouse is crying,
00:16:52 -->
00:17:21
and they're overwhelmed, and they're not eating, and they're not talking, and they're by themselves,
and no matter how much you try to cheer them up, they're still in tears. And no matter how much you
try to take them out or change them, you know, maybe maybe get their mind off of what's happened or
something and they just can't let it go. And they find themselves crying over and over and over
again, then it's a natural tendency for a lot of us to go to those people and say, you know, really
you should have suffered.
00:17:23 -->
00:17:24
Why don't you have suffered?
00:17:25 -->
00:17:45
And I will tell you, this is a very common thing that we do in the oma when people are experiencing
a traumatic situation. It's easy for us to and when they react and when they have emotions, we tend
to say to them, I wish you had more what suffer like this is the the advice we give to each other.
00:17:46 -->
00:17:50
And I find a lot of times that advice is actually not based on a large book.
00:17:52 -->
00:18:08
First of all, instead of giving them a lecture on Southern Allah highlighted what sugar gratitude,
that's first. Second of all, what I'd like to highlight to you is the case study of jacoba his
Salaam
00:18:09 -->
00:18:21
jacoba. Salaam lost his child for a very long time. And losing a child at least you know, the child
died and there was a janazah for the child there's closure The case is closed.
00:18:22 -->
00:18:49
At least the child is in the hands of Allah. The child is in a better place. There's something that
gives you comfort. In the case of yaku Bala Salaam does he know that the child has died? He has no
idea what's happened with his child. He doesn't know if he's alive. If he's hungry, if he's scared,
if he's in pain, if he's injured, if he's bleeding, if he's being oppressed. If he's being hurt by
somebody, he doesn't know anything
00:18:50 -->
00:19:25
that can drive any sane person insane. to not know what's going on with your child. That kind of
pain is indescribable. It's indescribable. And of course his first reaction when he heard the news
that he won't be seeing his child again was for sovereign Jamil. The only beauty left now in my life
is patience. That's all I can do. Because the beautiful child is gone. So the only beauty left now
is patience. But you notice years go by and what do his son say about him?
00:19:26 -->
00:19:28
The light after Buddha's guru so
00:19:30 -->
00:19:33
we swear to god are you gonna keep remembering yourself?
00:19:34 -->
00:19:51
Are you gonna keep missing him like he just we just lost him yesterday. It's been years get over it
already old man. They were frustrated with their father because their father would not get over it.
And as a matter of fact, many of you know he cried so much that what happened?
00:19:52 -->
00:19:57
He lost his eyesight. The Quran doesn't give him a lecture on Southern
00:19:58 -->
00:19:59
the Quran doesn't carry those
00:20:00 -->
00:20:02
crime, you need to be patient.
00:20:03 -->
00:20:20
And this is the man who himself said I am going to be what vision I'm going to have. Those are his
words. He's a chronic. He's the role model example for what does it mean to live a life of sobriety?
Because it's one thing that you go through a trauma for a day,
00:20:21 -->
00:20:42
or you go through a trauma for a month, it's another to experience that trauma every single day, not
knowing for years and years and years and not know. That's a different kind of trauma. And this man
face their trauma. And he cried, and he lost his eyesight. And yet, the Quran is saying this was a
man of suffer.
00:20:44 -->
00:20:45
What am I trying to get at?
00:20:46 -->
00:21:01
We're allowed to express our emotions. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be
deeply, deeply saddened because of what happened. That doesn't mean you don't have suffered. That
just means you're a human being
00:21:02 -->
00:21:48
suffer is something else, we make it into something else. Let me try to be very clear. It is almost
as though we say that suffer means that you are not allowed to have these emotions. Or you must hold
these emotions back completely. Because if you have these feelings, and you have the sadness, that
means you must not have suffered. That's not what Southern is Southern, actually, is that even
though you're sad, even though you're scared, even though you're angry, even though any of those
emotions are there and they're valid, you still did not cross the line, you still didn't become
ungrateful, you still didn't disobey Allah, you still didn't say the wrong thing. When you're very
00:21:48 -->
00:21:50
angry, it's too easy to use bad words.
00:21:51 -->
00:22:14
Somebody means not that you're not angry anymore. Somebody means you were able to not use those
words. You You're allowed those emotions, but you channel them in a healthy way. you express your
anger in a more articulate way in a more decent way. The same thing with your sadness The way the
same thing with your fear. When these emotions take hold of you, it's too easy to disobey Allah.
00:22:15 -->
00:22:56
It's too easy to become ungrateful to Allah. It's too easy to deny the teachings of the deen. For
example, people say the worst things when they're upset. They say the most horrible things when
they're angry summer would mean you're still upset what you still held your tongue. Actually, the
original meaning of the word Saba, I was just looking it up on my way here again, is how bizarre is
to hold something back, is to control something. And it's teaching a subject is control, but it's
not control over your emotions. It's control over the actions, that the emotions are valid the
actions are that we have which we have to control and crying, being sad being upset is not one of
00:22:56 -->
00:23:16
them. Now, why do I feel so compelled to share this with you, because I consider it a form of
oppression that we take people that have have you know, lashed out, people that have become upset
people that have become sad, and we make them feel like now not only are they emotionally out of
place, they've got a spiritual problem, too.
00:23:18 -->
00:23:35
They don't have a spiritual problem. Don't accuse them of having a lack of emotion or a lack of
suburb. They don't have a lack of suburb. And so I gave you one example of sadness. I'd like to give
you one quick example of anger. As actually my favorite example I'll be talking about tomorrow night
at length.
00:23:37 -->
00:23:58
Chateau de Allahu taala. On her was accused of wrongdoing. Though, one of the worst humiliating, you
know, scandals a Muslim woman can ever go through our mother went through, right? No woman here can
imagine those kinds of horrible things being said about her. Not to mention an entire city of people
are talking about it. Not to mention that.
00:23:59 -->
00:24:36
And at the end of it all, I'll give you the riddle, but I won't give you the answer today. At the
end of it all. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam came and sat next to her and said if you're
guilty, admitted and Allah will forgive basically and if you're innocent a level prove you're
innocent. She had been crying for almost three consecutive days by then Rasulullah came and sat next
to her so I saw them and it's been a month that the Prophet didn't even sit next to her. This was
after a month the first time it was all I sat next to her so I was alone. When I'm using this nd
Mandoki llama kill since the word had begun. He had not sat next to me she says when he sat next
00:24:36 -->
00:24:44
door he said if you're guilty and if you're innocent two options if you're innocent Allah will prove
you're innocent if you're guilty admitted and a level forgive.
00:24:45 -->
00:24:50
She had been crying for how long What did I say? So what what emotion is that?
00:24:51 -->
00:24:59
sadness. But she says the moment he said it kinda sorta Marie, my tears dried up, had done our
histamine hookup.
00:25:00 -->
00:25:02
I couldn't feel a single drop.
00:25:03 -->
00:25:05
The tears are gone. What did you see?
00:25:07 -->
00:25:08
What do you mean if
00:25:10 -->
00:25:16
my own husband telling me if I'm innocent? If I'm guilty? What are you trying to say?
00:25:18 -->
00:25:23
That sadness turned into what? Anger, anger at Who?
00:25:28 -->
00:25:31
and her mother and her father were sitting next to her.
00:25:32 -->
00:25:34
And she told her dad answer him.
00:25:36 -->
00:25:42
He said, I don't know what to say. She told her mom a GB answer him. She says, I love Alain
00:25:43 -->
00:26:01
de rasulillah. I don't know I swear to God, I don't know what to say. And then she's even more mad.
She was already mad at us little law. So I said, I'm not who she angry at her parents. Now, Ron will
tell us. If you raise your voice to the Messenger of Allah latter.
00:26:03 -->
00:26:08
Focus. Don't raise your voice to the voice of the messengers later because if you do what happens
00:26:10 -->
00:26:10
and
00:26:12 -->
00:26:50
all your good deeds are taken away. All your good deeds are taken away if you simply want to raise
your voice tell us hula Lovelace, Adam Carolla also tells us that Hakuna Huma often will attend her
mama wakulla, Houma colon Karima, don't talk to your parents don't even let them see a sign of
frustration on your forehead. And whenever you speak to them. Don't scold them, and speak to them in
a dignified fashion. So there are three people in front of her her mother, her father and the
Messenger of Allah and the three people Quran says You better watch how you speak in front of them.
Those three people are in front of her and she's experiencing what emotion? Anger Oh, when you read
00:26:50 -->
00:26:53
this part of the Hadith in Bukhari, when I first read it, I said,
00:26:57 -->
00:27:01
No way, no way. I gotta read that again.
00:27:03 -->
00:27:05
She yelled at all three of them.
00:27:07 -->
00:27:11
And she says she quoted the Quran, to the Prophet.
00:27:13 -->
00:27:24
And she says, I didn't even know much Quran. But I said, You people remind me, you remind me of the
story of uses. And I'll have to say to you what the father of use of said, sovereign God.
00:27:26 -->
00:27:37
I have to have beautiful patience. She's angry. She's scolding three people, which Lee you know,
now, and she says, This is my wife. This is my patients.
00:27:41 -->
00:28:06
And by the way, she compared what they're saying. And she basically said, You people believe this
filthy lie against me. You won't even believe what I say. None of this is true. She's speaking out
of anger. They don't believe it. But she says you people believe it. You people accuse me. You
people don't trust me. That's what she that's how she spoke to them. And she quoted this, by the
way, when she says you remind me of what the father of us have had to say. Who is she comparing them
to?
00:28:07 -->
00:28:08
Did you think about that?
00:28:09 -->
00:28:17
If she's gonna say sovereign Jamil, they're being compared with the brothers of us of who came
forward with a lie.
00:28:18 -->
00:28:20
This is what she did.
00:28:21 -->
00:28:40
No idea of the Quran came down Watch your mouth. You better take back what you just said. You don't
quote Koran like that to the Messenger of Allah. He received the Quran, you know, Quran lecture him.
You don't talk to your parents that way. No, Ayah came down about her outburst? Nothing.
00:28:41 -->
00:28:43
And she wasn't even done.
00:28:45 -->
00:28:52
When she gave that speech, she turned her back and lie down as if to say I'm done talking to you.
00:28:54 -->
00:28:56
Wow, Mom,
00:28:57 -->
00:28:58
when she's our Mother,
00:29:01 -->
00:29:05
what are we learning from this? The question is, if this happened in your home,
00:29:07 -->
00:29:14
a daughter in the house got accused of something or the other humiliating accusation and she had an
outburst.
00:29:15 -->
00:29:17
And her husband will say you need to watch it.
00:29:18 -->
00:29:29
You can't speak to them your parents that way or my parents that way. You shouldn't speak to your
husband this way. You need to have Southern what kind of Islam Do you follow a strict federal law
you raise your voice like, wouldn't you get that lecture?
00:29:30 -->
00:29:43
The first one to get that lecture should have been Who? Our mother and when we did come the IR did
not come to give her case against her. The teknaf came to defend her
00:29:44 -->
00:29:48
teknaf came to defend her will be Allahu taala on her.
00:29:49 -->
00:29:59
It's okay when a woman's dignity is questioned. When a woman's chastity is questioned, and she can
take it and she has an outburst. That doesn't mean she doesn't have suffered
00:30:00 -->
00:30:23
That means she's as normal as I shall be a lot more on how our religion does not expect us to become
angels. It acknowledges that Allah made us human beings, our emotions, we're entitled to them. This
by the way, what I just shared with you, please do not use this at home, to turn into the Incredible
Hulk and your family and say Narmada Lehigh gave this speech and now I'm gonna.
00:30:26 -->
00:31:05
But I do speak on behalf of people that are emotionally and psychologically oppressed in their
homes. And then they are told when they have emotions, that they have a spiritual problem, they do
not have a spiritual problem. Our religion does not teach that that is not something that is a false
definition of someone that has made its way into our conversations, and has created a lot of
oppression in my opinion. It's just created a lot of oppression. And so every chance I get, I try to
revitalize and share this message again. Because it is something I feel that we need we are, it's
okay for you to be sad. It's okay for you to be angry for legitimate reasons. It's okay for you to
00:31:05 -->
00:31:26
even have an outburst. You're not gonna go to * because you late raise your voice. You're not
relax. Don't be so hard on yourself, people around you are very quick to send you to *. They're
very quick to send you to * alone will ask you about this. You have done that in a while really
because the revelation came to you to let you know how her interrogation is going to go.
00:31:27 -->
00:31:47
calmed don't don't pass judgment on people. And don't be a harsh judge on yourself a lot as our gel
is merciful. And you know, the last thing I'll share with you about our mother I shadow the law on
this and I'm done. I'm absolutely done. is a she shared this story many years later. She could have
skipped this part.
00:31:49 -->
00:31:51
She could have not told us that she did that.
00:31:53 -->
00:32:01
Right because it's embarrassing. She raised her voice to her parents she raised her voice to the
Prophet of Allah says that, um, she quoted the whole thing word by word by word by word by word.
00:32:02 -->
00:32:06
And when she quoted it, I was expecting her to say and I feel really bad about that.
00:32:07 -->
00:32:08
I regret that I did that.
00:32:10 -->
00:32:11
She didn't.
00:32:12 -->
00:32:37
She said no such thing. Oh my god. Allahu anhu. One time raised his voice to the Prophet size of
them and put the idea that happened. Did you regret it later? Oh, yeah. I mean, he literally said,
Tell my mother. Somebody told my mother her son is doomed. Her son is as good as dead. I mean, he
was devastated. Our mother I shall de la hora is not devastated.
00:32:38 -->
00:32:47
Why not? Because and she has a very clear understanding of this Deen. And she honors our messenger
other thought was solemn. But she understands she did not cross a single line.
00:32:49 -->
00:33:04
She didn't do something wrong. As a matter of fact, to the contrary, she says when I checked ni fi
nuptse kana Carmen Ania Taka la mala who fear the Emory Nutella. Nutella. She says I used to think I
wasn't worth or on coming down for me.
00:33:05 -->
00:33:09
But it did, which means I am worth it basically, is what she's saying.
00:33:10 -->
00:33:51
I thought she spoke. She wasn't hard on ourselves. Don't be hard on yourself. We like your mother
Ayesha. Stop beating yourself up. Stop condemning yourself. Stop living a life of guilt constant
constant constant guilt. A lot forgives. Make a stepfather if you've made a mistake and move on with
your life. Don't let that guilt overshadow everything you do. It will ruin not just you it will ruin
the people around you. You're not going to be able to have normal relationships. If you live in that
kind of guilt. You know, you won't just be sorrowed yourself, you'll become a source of sorrow for
people around you don't do that. Become a person of gratitude Allah has given us in this life, Allah
00:33:51 -->
00:33:53
has given us a chance to make up for our mistakes.
00:33:54 -->
00:34:29
This is why we're still alive. If your chance was over, you wouldn't be alive anymore. The fact that
he gave you another breath another another chance is because he still has the door open for you. He
still has love and mercy for you. If you considered your case closed, then we'd be doing your
janazah right now. That's just the fact of it. May Allah azza wa jal help us really internalize the
inspiring beautiful message of his book and not become more judgmental than the last book itself
towards one another Milla keep us from being oppressive to one another, especially within the
context of our families, because I couldn't allow him and every one of you I'm so grateful that I
00:34:29 -->
00:34:42
had this opportunity. I don't know how long I'm gonna stick around. I think they have a schedule for
me but it's it's so awesome to see all of you. I wish I had time to engage many as many of you in
conversation as possible. I will promise you one thing though. I have my football.
00:34:43 -->
00:35:00
This is the machine that plan right? Is this the machine I've heard when tomorrow? Here, okay, so
here I have I have a certain policy for hotel. I give the hotbar and then right after the football,
I usually go outside and I give a chance to our mothers
00:35:00 -->
00:35:26
And our daughters to ask whatever questions they want because I feel are even though this is an
exceptional community, I feel across the oma our mothers daughters and sisters don't have as much of
an opportunity to engage with the scholars etc. As the men do so I'd like to give them priority
first inshallah. So that's what I mean if we don't get a chance to speak today, I will make it a
point to stay outside as long as I can tomorrow, and Charlotte had to do that. barakallahu li
walakum soleimani
