Hitting Women 434 & Beyond

Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

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© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Call Allah azza wa jal Chiquita he'll carry him by the Anahola arrow the bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim.

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Raja Luca Muna Allah Nisha ebmm football Allahu Allahu Allah will be in for comin unworldly him for slowly her to call it out on her feet Huatong LILLEbaby Maha Viva la will let it to her food and shoes Ohana very Unova Johanna Fillmore Barger Aubrey Wuhan in ultra comfortable who Alena Sabina in Allah Hakuna Ali and Kabira. Frobisher Ali Soddy where silly Emery work Luca melissani of the Hokulea Allahu Mehta Bittner in the Lotte Villa Ilaha illa Allah, Allah maganda Mina livina Ermanno middle Sally hurt whatever sobbing happy whatever Saba sub m in Europe and I live in. Today I attempt to speak with you about the next portion of Ira number 34 from Surah Nisa, in the previous

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couple of hotbeds, I've spoken to you about Abijah Luca Muna Allah Nyssa. And I've also spoken to you about Bhima football, Allahu Allahu Allah, about Bhima and felt pulled in and Wiley him as a quick recap, men are caretakers, maintainers, over women, on through Allah having favored, some over others, we talked about that phrase, and then and through Allah having men charged, that they should be spending that they spend out of their monies. There's a couple of comments and questions and emails I received about my previous hotbar that were based on the subject that I was dealing with. And so I would like to address some of that, because it pertains to the first part of the

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discussion. And then we'll talk today about what Allah says about women in response, and particularly about wives. So the the issue is, that a lot of times that a lot of the questions, they are different, but really behind them is the same thought process. So I kind of because I come from a tech background originally, it's like the skin is different. But the app source code is the same, right? So it's, you can put different UX on top, you can put a different skin on the app, but behind it is the same programming, right? So a lot of times people ask very, very different questions. But if you pierce a little deeply the thought process that somebody is asking, and somebody else is

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asking somebody else's asking actually was down to the same thing. And of course, the conflict between men and women, and particularly between husbands and wives, is a conflict that was initiated, and shaitan promised that he will pursue that conflict. And Allah even reminded us as he was sending us to the earth, Babu calmly babbling, I'll do that you're going to be enemies to each other. Shaitan will be enemy to Adam and Hawa. And John's job will be to create Adam to make Adam enemy to hawan our enemy to Adam. And the best way to do that is to create marital discord to create conflict between people that are married to each other. So having said that, a lot of times people

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use any weapon they can get to win a war. So when there's a psychological or emotional or social or familial war going on between a husband and a wife, and I pray Allah protects all of us from that situation. But when that is going on, then people can use their family. People can use children as a weapon. And a lot of times actually, you know what people use people use Islam as a weapon. People use the religion as a weapon. So a husband to make the wife feel bad can quote a hadith or quote an ayah and say, See, you're not doing what Allah says. And she could turn around and say, well, you're no Sahaba

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yourself and she gets started putting stuff back at him and now religion, our deen, something sacred, something that Allah has given to us that has the highest position is being used to beat somebody into submission, or to win an argument or to feel better about yourself, or you know, and that kind of thing. And then you go to somebody who knows what to say, what does Islam say about a wife? Who does this, this this? Or what does Islam say about a husband? Who says this, this isn't Allah going to punish them? Now, if I or anybody else says, Yes, Allah will or No, Allah won't, then you take that back as a weapon, that response and see this, the Malecon said, Allah will punish you.

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I have evidence, I have an email that suggests that you will get punished by Allah, as if First you give a you you ask a question in general. And then you you apply to a very specific individual. And this kind of manipulation, unfortunate manipulation happens from men and women, nobody's free from this kind of thing. Right? And it's interesting that somebody can say, What do you say about someone who does this wrong and this wrong and this wrong? And then you get an answer, but you conveniently leave out what you've done wrong, or what the entire story is, you just paint this little limited picture, get an answer. And now you have a blanket statement to weaponize against somebody else.

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Right. So having said all of that, a lot of the questions were, well, men come around and say, Well, I pay the bills, I have the job I have, I'm responsible for the finances. So you better do what I say you better go do the dishes, you better go clean the house, you better do you know, be in bed when I tell you to be bad, etc, etc. Like men should have this claim. Because they're using the IRA to say that, look, I'm the one that provides financially, Allah gave me that responsibility. Therefore, I'm the boss of the house.

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And you know, this question can come from a man this question can come from a woman and it can come from people with different mindsets behind it. It could be very possible that there's a there's a wife there, out there somewhere, who's actually extremely disrespectful and, you know, undermines her husband. And every time she speaks up, and she says, Oh, just because you pay the bills, you can talk back. And she uses this right? And we don't know the whole story and the same way a man can use it for manipulative reasons. So the thing is, if the book of Allah can be misused, like Allah, his book, Allah says, you will be He, Catherine, DB Catherine, Allah misguides many people using this

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book and guides when using this book, right? What does that mean? When people come to it for corrupt, selfish, self promoting kinds of reasons. When people come to it for urges of their own dominance, then they will get from it what they want. They get from Allah's book and so and if if Allah Himself is being misquoted, then you and I can easily get misquoted, that's not the concern, but out of fear of being misquoted, should we not speak the truth, no, we will still have to say what's being what has to be said. We have to be sincere with the word of Allah. So the point is as follows. Allah did not spell out who's going to do the dishes. Allah did not spell out who's gonna

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iron the clothes for work. Allah didn't spell out who's gonna get breakfast ready for the kids? Allah didn't spell out who's gonna you know, he didn't spell the specifics of a marriage out. Why? Because human beings are perfectly capable of living harmoniously with each other. You got married to create a partnership, the most the strongest kind of partnership, the Foundation have a family a man and a woman came together, if they cannot come to a basic understanding of rights and responsibilities. If the if the wife can say, Hey, I am not able to do this. This is exhausting. We can you help me with this? And the husband instead of slapping her with Islam? What do you mean,

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you're exhausted? Allah subhana wa Tada says, and then he misquote something, you know, or the wife does the same thing, then you're not really in a party, you're interested in giving, throwing hotbars at each other's faces. That's not a marriage. What do you what have you turned this into? This is supposed to be something that Allah revealed, this institution of marriage, Allah revealed, Anita scudo, lay out so you find peace and comfort in each other. So you find you find harmony among each other. So a lot of the things that are, there's a lack of open communication, transparency, trust, love, loyalty, when those things are missing. Now we say what does Allah say about doing the

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dishes? Or what does Allah say about you know, paying the bills? No, no, don't bring the line to it yet, you got a lot of personal issues that you haven't resolved, you've got a lot of things going on that maybe need an outside party to come and help you communicate with each other better, you're not communicating with each other in a healthy way. And part of that unhealthiness is now you're trying to bring Islam into the conversation as if that's gonna solve the problem, as if humiliating your husband or humiliating your wife with an IRA or a hadith is going to all of a sudden make them the perfect husband and wife, please, how many helpers have we heard and we didn't talk we didn't

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transform into some angelic beings beings. So we you know, we have to take a real take a step back and understand our situation. And I want to say that Allah has given us this instruction, why not to be used in arguments but at

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Actually, for me, if I'm a husband, these I author for me to take responsibility, what Allah expects from me as a husband, not what my wife expects from me as a husband, what does Allah expect from me as a husband, and then the rest of this is going to be about the wife, not what a husband should expect from the wife. What does Allah expect from the wife, this is Allah talking to men and to women. This is not to be used for men, against women and women against men, this is a mockery of the word of Allah, then then what humility we have to the word of Allah, when we only want to use it, when it helps our cause. And we don't want to hear it when it doesn't when it doesn't. So with that

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background in mind, when you have those kinds of arguments, I'm the head of the household, I'm paying the bills, therefore, I demand this, this and this, maybe there's a more respectful and honest and open conversation that needs to be had about rights and responsibilities. Because in any household, there are rights and responsibilities. In any household, there has to be division of chores. In any household, there are only 24 hours in a day, and a person can only do so much before they're exhausted. And if you can't have that men or women are not able to have a normal conversation about that, and they need to drag an imam into it, then there's a serious problem that

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needs to be addressed. So having said that, let's come to the part of the IRA where Allah Now after telling men that they are to maintain women, that they are, they are responsible financially. And by the way, when Allah says that he gave them favor, some over others, interestingly enough, from the beginning of the Surah, there's something interesting that's going on. Allah has described that men have a financial advantage

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as politically incorrect in today's climate, as that might sound the Quran is very explicit about that men have a financial advantage. In fact, men even go get more in inheritance, don't they? We get more of a share in the same Surah we get more of a share. And actually two Ayat before Allah says well atta Mundo my football Allahu be Baba Kumala BB, your Ricciarelli No, Cebu, mid Makita Sabu. Well, in Misha in Acebo, mimica sadhna. Two out before.

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He said, Don't wish for what the other has been blessed with men will have what they earn women will have what they earn, historically speaking in the context of the IATA, historically speaking, men had more economic opportunities than women and they still do this, it's a real world is modernizing, I get it, I get it. But by and large are realities being described. And that is men were placed in a position of economic advantage. Men are and since they are in a position of economic advantage, they have more responsibility. That's why they have to spend from their money. That's why they have to take care of the household financially. And this is why a lot of times in the modern world, there

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are interesting conflicts for Muslims, especially husband and wife get married. And the husband says, Well, you have to pay the bills too. I can't be the only one who takes care of the electricity bill. I mean, you went, you went to college, you're gonna let that go to waste, go get a job, and go pay the bills too. And you take care of this too, and you take care of that too. And then you start negotiating on the mound. Look, I agree to the man, but that's what I loved you. But this things have changed clearly. So there should be a love discount. And now I should at least 25% At least, or you know.

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So what are men doing? Now? They're negotiating their part away from financial responsibility, right? That it's the only word partners and everything. We're equal in everything. We're equal in financial responsibility. Muslim men, I don't say this, Allah azza wa jal, what I can understand from what Allah is saying, if you're not ready to take financial responsibility completely don't get married.

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I don't care if your wife's a millionaire or not, that doesn't matter. I don't care if she inherited like ranches and farms and has oil fields, it doesn't matter if you're not capable of taking financial responsibility, if you're not able to provide what Quran calls in the same Surah PM, the word Qian, okay. And so TR means means of sustenance, your program, you better provide piano. If you can't do that, and don't get married, you're just not ready. So you have to first and this is why earlier on. Allah even mentioned those of you who can't afford and can't get married, literally, he put not being able to get married with what not being able to afford, not being able to afford. So

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if a young man comes and says, I really want to get married, then maybe you should play a little less Playstation and get out of your mom's basement and get a job and become independent so you can get married.

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And until that happens, maybe you should be working harder and harder and becoming independent. Before you talk about your rights as a Muslim. Oh, there's going to be fitna if I don't get married. No, you're a fitna. If you're not providing financially, you're part of the fitna. But now let's turn our attention to women. Therefore, since now the Allah is presenting the expected situation the expected situation is men take financial responsibility they protect they provide fine what a women have to do then

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Now I began with a region or region he didn't say a family home he said our region but when it comes to him in Allah didn't say when they saw find this out then women should do this this this men have to do this as this. Now ravens turn the word Allah used to describe women now as for folly hat for Sally hurt which a basic English translation might yield, then good women. So the conversation about women begins with the words good women, right? Now, why does that happen? Why would Allah describe women with an adjective instead of the actual noun? Women? Why put the word good there, and we'll dig deeper into the word good in a second. The reason for that is Allah is essentially saying

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something tonight and he's saying something, by way of a hint. He's saying what I'm about to say is only possible for good women.

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And if this is not possible for you, there's something missing in your goodness by Allah standard, not for me to judge on you, for Allah to judge on you. Like I said, everything that's being said is between me and Allah and you and Allah from between a man and Allah and between a woman and a woman and Allah. So when Allah says for Sally heart, it's not for me to say, oh, that woman is slightly hot. That woman is not slightly hot. My wife is not Sally her because she's that No, no, no, for Allah to judge for her to see if she meets this standard or not. So she's already been put in a situation in an expectation but he has to rise to the occasion. Being a woman isn't enough, she has

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to be a sada. As a result, if the man is doing this part, and then the fires, you can call it suburbia. Therefore, this is what Allah expects from men. Therefore this is what Allah expects from women. So the first thing is a solid. The word soul in Arabic actually gets used in interesting ways. It gets used for US law, the transitive form is used for when you fix something. So good do Uppsala. So if a wall was you know, getting mold, and it's falling apart, and you fixed it, and you remove the mold, and you, you clustered it back on, and it's back to perfect, then you did a sly of the wall. If your car engine was seizing, the transmission was failing, you fix the transmission,

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you addressed all the leaks, you did it's law of your car. Similarly, you can have the hollow between nations, if two two nations or two tribes had good relations, they were trading with each other, they were intermarriages. And all of a sudden a conflict happened. Some trade dispute happened, some border dispute happened, and now they're fighting with each other. And then they have a council where they sit back down and they bring the relationship back to the normal. It used to be the good relationship it used to be, that's a soul between these two nations, or these two tribes. That's the word soul. Soul has to do with the basic meaning is when you bring something back to its

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original purpose. So here's when you bring something back to its original purpose. It says if Allah is telling women something wonderful, he's telling women that their original state is actually peace, that many of you might assume women man, it's just drama, but actually women, their their FIPPA, their natural state is to desire love and peace and reconciliation in harmony. That's what they are. That's their original state. That state for any man or woman can get corrupted in this word. Allah has told women a powerful lesson, all the slaves of Allah that are female, he's told them a powerful lesson, you by your nature, are actually harmony and peace. There's a reason that

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when marriage happens, Allah mentions Lita, schooner, la ha, so you can find contentment and common them, because they're supposed to be a source of peace. They're supposed to be the removal of all things that are conflict.

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They're not supposed to be the ones that start the conflict. They're the ones that's supposed to end the conflict. Look at the life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, when he's in the most difficult circumstances, and he stressed out, he turns to his wife, and his wife brings peace to his mind and heart. So the number one job of a wife is actually to be a source of harmony and peace. By definition, Allah hasn't even told them what they must do. On top of that, that's just my, this is who they are. As if their role is to bring about peace and calmness into the life of the husband, who's working hard to provide for the entire family. That's that's their role that's there. As far

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as Allah is concerned, if they're doing that they're doing a remarkable job.

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Then he adds to other descriptions, Connie Totten, half a lot on little hype.

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And that he adds another clause B Mahaffey. vonleh. So in this hook by today, we're going to talk about these three clauses. Okay. So first of all, the goodness has been mentioned for Sally Hart. Then he says, Who are these Sally had? They are carnita Connie Todd is an Arabic word for obedient one's obedience but the Arabic word generically for obedience is multi art. Multi art. Okay, Allah didn't say multi

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out here, he said carnita and canoed, which like you know many of you familiar with the dua of Elko. nuit, right? Allah tells about tells us as slaves of Allah como lillahi carnitine. Everywhere in the Quran, the word connote or any of its derivatives is used as what defines my relationship with Allah. Part of my relationship with Allah is Hulu. So let me explain what coolutils galoot actually is used, the literal the literal image is that of something that is soft on the inside, okay, and protective on the outside and from it figuratively became the expression for when you obey somebody, but on your on your insides. There's gentleness towards the one you're obeying. In other words, when

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your teacher told you to redo your term paper, you said fine, but inside of you, there's no gentleness. You're hoping he slips and falls down the stairs or gets stuck in the elevator for two weeks or something. You're hoping because you're obeying but you're not happy about it. When you obey someone and from the inside, you're actually feeling gentle or softness towards the one you're obeying. There's a loving kind of obedience, there's not a holler about the near there is a there's a softness that's inside. That kind of an obedience is called Knuth. That kind of obedience is called code. Now some have interpreted this to mean that here Allah is saying that women should be

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obedient in this way to their husbands. I would argue that's not what's being said here. Though you can extract obedience to husbands from somewhere else. Here No, I would argue first of all collude all over the Quran is used only for Allah azza wa jal, Kumu, lillahi Conaty Allah and there are multiple other examples. But there are other reasons to in Surah to Tarim, so to him is a Surah, related also to marriage, it's about the marriages of the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. And in that Surah, there was an incident where our mothers, meaning the wives of the Prophet, a few of them who have not been named in the Quran, but they disobeyed the Prophet slice of them, he gave them a

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small instruction, and they didn't obey him. Right? So now, there's a hobby or they've made a mistake. And Allah is going to reveal a lot about their mistake, right? That's part of the intro to sorts of Darim. So number 66. Now in that account, you would think of course two reasons. One, those who say Salaam is their husband, and more than anything else, he's also there. Rasul Allah Azza wa salam. So he deserves obedience more than any other man. So you would think that in those ayat Allah would refer he would tell those women to obey the Prophet? Yes. For on both of those accounts on account of being the husband and account an account of being Allah's Messenger, but what qualities

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that Allah expect from those women in that surah? He says, I saw a boo in Paula Kakuna and uvula who as well as watching Hiram in Kona Muslim Athan Minuten carnita evaton avodat inside hatin say, the back of Koran, all the descriptions given to those women, Muslim, let me not say that you but all of the descriptions are their relationship with Allah, including Connie that if there was ever a place to mention obedience to the prophet or the use of the husband should have been that place, but even their content that was used exclusively for a slaves relationship with Allah Aleut can be held by a man who could be held by a woman but let's understand in this ayah then what's the what's obedience

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to Allah has to do with husband wife relationship? Why is it here in this fire? He says good women are Connie thoughts, then the they are obedient in by implication obedient to Allah but we didn't to Allah how Allah Himself will answer. The best of seal of the Quran is Quran itself. So Allah azza wa jal says how feuillatte Only love ape guarding that which cannot be seen, guarding the unseen. Now, even if you don't know Arabic, you may have heard the word right refers to the unseen, like the angels are raised, the afterlife is raised. Right? What happens after death is raised. You know, Allah is in the hype, the ginger and the hype. But there's another meaning of hype labels using the

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Quran also for when you are doing something or there's an event an incident and somebody couldn't be there. So this incident was raised from them, like the brothers of use of Ra salaam, when they said we don't know what happened behind the scenes, they said, well, Makena LILLEbaby halfling we can't guard the very meaning we weren't there. So we don't know exactly what happened. So it can be used for the spiritual unseen, but it can also be used, for example, if you're talking about me and I'm in the live, right, so you're talking but I was there, I wasn't there. So that would actually be your conversation was underripe you get it. So the same way here half Ivatan LILLEbaby. It's pretty

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much each one of them. Officer on this portion of the IRA is talking about women that protect the honor of

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their husbands when their husbands aren't there.

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Let's travel back in time a little bit.

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Men were given the responsibility to be financial providers for the family, particularly for their wives. Those men, many of them were farmers, many of them chop down trees, many of them were traders, the Arab desert allowed for them to do trade by way of going across the desert in long caravan. So how long are they away from home months and months and months, sometimes, when they're going by by sea, maybe they're gone for years. They're married, but they're gone for years. Yes. Similarly, when they are working out in the farm, or working out on the land, or working out, you know, in the wells or whatever, they're gone, 1618 hours a day, they come home collapse, they

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disappear again, back to work, because it's a hard life they got to provide. So they are barely home. That's that was actually a very normal thing for most working men, that they were barely ever home because of the enormous economic burden that was placed on them. That was a reality. pre Islamic poetry and pre Slavic Arabic literature, talks about how the women were at home alone, having all kinds of affairs because the man's gone for several months for work reasons. So she's living in his house, eating his food, enjoying the earnings, but not being loyal to him. And that was a normal thing that they talked about, right? Of course, Alhamdulillah nothing like that ever

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happens anymore.

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Right? So the idea is what that when this man has been given the responsibility to provide that means that he has to work, he has to go and exhaust himself. And when he goes in exhausts himself, you're by yourself. And when you're by yourself, by the way, any human being when they're by themselves, who comes to them, shutdown comes to them. So when you're by yourself, be obedience lovingly obedient to Allah ani thoughts, and how will you be committed to Allah by guarding? By guarding your chastity? What Allah, You know what Allah has commanded you to guard, half the lot when you leave, the husband isn't there, you're not going to talk to another man. You're not going

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to be friends, someone else. You're not going to connect with somebody on social media, you're not going to do any of that stuff. Why? Because Allah has given you this responsibility by this is you obeying Allah.

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And Allah, you know, Allah could have just mentioned obedience to Allah, they're going to pray they're going to do this. No, no, Allah mentioned the thing where chatango come and attack someone when they're lonely. That's what he mentioned. That's what he talked about. And that's a reality that Allah azza wa jal acknowledges in the Quran. But he added something more he said, be more happy, Allah, so beautiful. It has many meanings, but I'll, I'll share one of them in the sidebar with you. He told women, you must guard the honor of your husband when he's not there. You will not speak to someone that he doesn't want you to speak to. You will not be friend, someone that he

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doesn't want you to be friend. You will not do something behind his back or speak about him in a way that he wouldn't want you to speak about. Your his peace, your safety. You're is you're the Sally heart. You're the goodness of the home, you're the honor of the home. What did Allah say Bhima Hafeez Allah because of the protection Allah has given meaning, because of the protection Allah has given women, Allah gave you a husband, Allah gave you a provision, Allah provided this environment for you. Allah guarded your chastity by giving you the badass marriage, that your massage inside the fort. And now you must pay back with your loyalty. And you must pay and you will do this, not just

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for your husband, you're actually going to do this out of love for Allah, and you're not going to do it begrudgingly. This is the scenario Allah wanted to have. This is this is the now anybody who hears it says but you know what, my husband is this, this this on my wife is that that that like, we take the Ayat of Allah. And first we understand when Allah speaks like this, he's describing how things are supposed to be the mindset that's supposed to be there, that the way that a husband is supposed to think and feel the way a wife is supposed to think and feel. And at the very fundamental level, the basic rights and responsibilities are being described, not all of them. But the the most

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fundamental of them have been described in the IRA. And what is that good women are going to be mindful of Allah, they're going to lovingly obey Allah by guarding their husbands privacy, by guarding their husbands honor when the husband isn't there. Half you have autonomy, maybe we might have Allah. That's actually the main role being described in the eye. And now this is not an easy thing. Because chastity, loyalty for both men and women has become as easy as accepting like a friend request. It's become very easy to connect, to talk to people you're not supposed to be talking to, to create friendships that you're not supposed to be creating for advances to be made at

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you. You don't have to be in a bad environment anymore the bad environment

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is on your phone. And it's sending you notifications. So it's very easy for you to scroll and for you to be involved in what for both men and women to cross the limits that Allah has set half a lot on the low ABV Muhammad Allah. So with this in mind, what what does Allah done in this portion of the IRA, he's given the basic scheme of rights and responsibilities. Men are maintaining, guarding taking care, especially when they're doing so financially. And if they're doing so they shouldn't be punished for working hard. They shouldn't be, like, criticized for trying to pay the bills. And when if he's, if he's late at work one day, for example, you know, and he took an extra two, three hours,

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because the project is heavy, or whatever else, or the boss is gonna fire him, you're always at work. I hope you enjoy your work, because you don't care about the family. Well, when you hear things like that, then that's not fairly hot. Why is he working? Of course, the flip side of that is when men like to be at work, because they hate being at home.

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So they don't want to be home. They'd rather just hang out with friends or do other things and then say, No, I'm at work and lie about it to what kind of Kawamata goes, right. But there are circumstances where we have to be supportive of each other and the situation is an ideal. You see, we we've developed a and this is the last thing I'll share with you in today's call. But we've developed a fictitious, fake standard for what it means to have a healthy relationship between a husband and a wife. It's based on a lot of fake standards. What are those fake standards, they're all over social media. The husband and wife are always vacationing together, they're hanging out

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together, they're eating together, they're taking pictures of the kebab. They're about to eat or whatever. They're filtering their photos, putting them out putting themselves on display. And everybody's looking at it saying, Man, I don't have that. I want that too. I want to live like that. You know, I want I want to be this way, this way. Why are you always tired? Well, because I just came back from a 12 hour shift. And I got stuck in traffic for two hours. Why are you stressed out because my boss was yelling at me, you might lose the job and we're not gonna be able to make the rent, you're so negative all the time, I need to find somebody who's more positive.

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Right? Because you're so negative. The saleha will actually be understanding of the stress that comes with being in a certain responsibility and be able to address that. Again, as I give advice to one side, I'm not condemning all women, and I'm not endorsing all men, please understand, we sometimes hear things from our own biases. But please do understand there's a reality that's being described here. That Allah azza wa jal wants us to honestly look at ourselves. Where do we stand? Where do you stand as a husband? Where do you stand as a wife, and you don't have to explain yourself to anybody else. By the way, a new dimension of half a lot. A little aim that's manifested

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itself in recent in recent times, is that husband and wife have a conflict that comes with the territory, even though Sula Salam had conflicts with Omaha Tilawat, meaning it happened. It's a reality. When you love someone else, when you when you love someone enough, then you also have intense fights. It will happen you happen between siblings happens between parents and kids happens between husband and wife. If you didn't care enough about them, they wouldn't be worth the fight. Sometimes I'm not talking about fistfights or cursing, but some conflict exists, feelings get hired. Hey, you didn't look at me. You didn't say salaam or I didn't hear you or some misunderstanding

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happens. And nowadays, when something like that happens, the next thing you know there's a meme on social media from the wife about the husband of the husband and wife is broadcasting to the world. My husband did this, this, this and this. My you know, my wife is this is Oh my god. Where's the half about delay? There's your calling each other as the boss so you don't broadcast each other's dirty laundry? Your wife knows more about your mistakes than anybody else. You know more about your wife's flaws than anybody else. That doesn't mean you get to broadcast them.

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How are you guarding each other that way? When an ugly relationship where you know, enemies wouldn't do that your coworker wouldn't broadcast your flaws to the world. And now family and all of family, the spouse broadcasting each other's flaws to the world. What a horrible state of affairs. What a horrible condition to be in. And so we come back to these, this particular idea and what's coming from here and really contemplate where we stand as men and where we stand as women answerable to Allah azza wa jal answerable to Allah my final request to all of you. I've said it throughout and I'll say it again, please don't send this recording of this to your wife and say you need to listen

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to this

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because that's what I was started saying in the beginning when we when we take the the counsel from Allah and we weaponize it. Right, and then say we're after you

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Listen to it. Let's discuss where you stand. No, you should discuss among men, among your brothers where you stand, and she should discuss where she stands. And you don't have to use this against her and that that's that's missing the point again, that's saying that you're answerable to me and I'm answerable to you. Well, first and foremost, the IATA teaching us we're doing this because we're answerable to Allah soljet May Allah azza wa jal truly make us humble servants before him and bless our marriages with the best kinds of unions and harmony so we can leave a good example for our children on how to be as as a harmonious couples so one day when they get married, they carry on the

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