Nouman Ali Khan – Happiness Is A By-Product Of Living With Purpose
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AI: Transcript ©
And the amazing thing about the we call in America of course probably
the pursuit of happiness, isn't it? The incredible thing about
pursuing happiness is the most depressed people are the people
that are trying to be happy.
They're just it's a fleeting constantly escaping thing. Yeah
Allah I need a new car. I need a new job. I need this. I need this.
I need this all they're asking for Allah says they will have nothing
in the afterlife.
That's pretty harsh. It sounds pretty hard. Yeah, Allah was just
asking for a car. Why will I not have anything in the afterlife?
Allah says but then there are people who say give me the best of
this life. Give me beautiful things in this life and beautiful
things in the next slide. What is this is teaching us what is his
daughter teaching?
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to Saudi had what was it? What was the suburb? I mean? Yeah, I mean,
this last week, I received a question from a young person about
what doors they can make to have an easy life. And what doors can
they make to Allah? Are there any special vicar they can do? Or any
practices they can do? That they can get what they want, like
there's something they really want, they're praying for it, they
really want to have it there. What can they do to make sure that they
get that? And I thought it was a very profound question. And I also
thought that it's a question that many, many people have. And what I
wanted to dedicate this goodbye to, is the roots behind that
question sometimes as a teacher, in my own experience, and also as
a student, some of my best teachers when they heard a
question from me, they didn't answer my question, the analyzed
this, they saw the question as the fruit. And they tried to get to
the root and address the root, because simply answering the
question would actually not address the root problem, if you
if you get what I'm saying. So behind this question, there's
actually a an entire way of thinking about reality, a way of
thinking about Allah, a way of thinking or thinking about life.
And it's connected to all of that it's connected to essentially a
worldview. So it's probably best to start at the root instead of
addressing the fruit or addressing the branch. And that's what I'm
hoping to do in this brief few minutes that I have with you. And
I want to start because this was asked by a young person, I want to
start with something that hopefully a lot of young folks,
probably a lot of old folks like myself too can relate to. And
that's video games.
Video games are
are pretty addictive, and there are a lot of fun. And people of
all ages enjoy them. But there's a psychology behind video games, you
know exactly what you have to put in. And you'll know exactly what
you'll get out. You have to, there's a certain way to beat this
boss, there's a certain way to unlock this level, there's a
certain way you have to go about moving from one, one level to the
next one boss to the next one puzzle to the next, etc. If you
want to earn, you know, coin, you want to earn one level up, or you
want to rank up, there are rules inside the video game, the
programmers, the developers of the game, they create these rules
inside this world that they create. And you follow those
rules. And so long as you can follow those rules, the better you
are at following the rules, the more results you're gonna get.
Exactly. So if you do this, this this, you're gonna move up, there
are no surprises, there is no mystery. And that's why people
that are hardcore gamers, and they are having a hard time with a
particular game or a level or something, they'll go to YouTube
to their YouTube, you know, walk through shape, and have them walk,
this is how you do it. You see, let me let me be your morshed and
guide you to press X hold L one and then do this and then and then
you win. Okay, so now the rules are set for you to succeed.
It's not all that different from sports, even though sports has
some more unpredictability. But even in sports, here's the here's
the field, it's many, many sports, it's shaped like a rectangle. And
here's your objective. If you can meet that objective, you win. If
you don't meet that objective, you fail, it's simple, clear, that's
all you got to do. This is what's required of you. Okay?
Life doesn't work that way.
And life's too, people are putting in exactly the same amount of
work, exactly the same amount of work. And one of them gets a lot
of benefit from that work and the other one doesn't.
Many of you are students in university or school and I know
many of you have summer off right now. But you have you put in so
much work to try to pass an exam and you barely got a 70. And the
friend of yours was clearly no longer a friend didn't even
remember that there's an exam. And they got to 75 start here, I did
all this stuff. And you did nothing. And then you went out of
your way to be top of your class to, you know, to be the 4.0 GPA to
be the valedictorian, all this stuff. Because you have this
entire plan in your head, first, I'm going to be the best at
school, then I'm going to ace my interviews, then I'm going to get
this job done. I'm going to do this, then I'm going to do this
whole plan was laid off. And then you had a friend who was like,
Yeah, I don't know what I want to do with my life, man, I don't
know. And then you both graduate, and three years have gone by you
can't find a job. And he already got a six figure offer before he
graduated. And you're looking at that doesn't seem fair, I did all
this work. There's one getting all this benefit. This is not the same
as a video game. In fact, some psychologists even argue people
are drawn to video games, because it's life is simpler inside the
game. Because you follow the rules, and you get these results.
But outside this outside the world of the video game, doesn't matter
how many rules you follow, you don't get the same results,
everybody's getting different results. And this young person
who's saying, hey, is there a cheat code in Islam, that says if
I do this to Allah, and if I do this vicar this many times, then
this will unlock for me in life. This will open up for me this
blessing will come in my way. Right? Is there something I can
get that can do this, this and by the way, this is not just a
teenager, you have old people coming and saying, Can you give me
one vicar that I can convince my son to marry this girl? Or do this
or this? Can you and everybody's looking for a cheat code like in
the video game? Like a walkthrough from within Islam to try to figure
out how they can make life easy. Look, my first answer to that
question
is why? Why do you want life to become easier? Because we are now
wrapped up in a worldview where the ultimate objective of my life
is to actually be happy.
Like the the highest thing I can reach. If I have that life would
be good if I was happy.
And the amazing thing about the we call in America of course probably
the pursuit of happiness, isn't it?
The incredible thing about pursuing happiness is the most
depressed people are the people that are trying to be happy.
They're just it's a fleeting, constantly escaping thing. I can
be very happy when I'm eating ice cream, and then it's over. And now
I'm sad that I ate ice cream and I have to pay the consequences.
Right? So this idea that we're running after this thing, if I
have this I will be happy or honorable described very clearly
the delusion
A little nature of that kind of thinking.
And Allah azza wa jal will describe it analogy and sort of
sort of Hadith and describe it as Fatah who was thought one, like
the farmer who was going to be so happy that his crop is growing.
And then he's just gonna watch it turn yellow, it's gonna go dry.
Like, his ultimate goal was man, when this farm girls tall and the
stalks grow tall, I'm gonna make all my years worth of money, it's
finally gonna pay off, I did all the work, I did everything right,
it's gonna pay off. And Allah says Fedora almost full run through my
Apolo Catarman, you'll see it turn yellow, it'll turn something into
crust that you just step on it, and that nothing now, there's
nothing now.
So the first thing that I want to share with you is, maybe we're
pursuing the wrong I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy. Hopefully,
by the end of this football, you will be clear about that. I'm not
saying you shouldn't be happy.
What I am saying is we're looking for the wrong goal. To be happy.
We're looking for what is the right goal is what I'm trying to
get at.
Instead of saying My purpose is to be happy.
The Quran is actually arguing happiness is a byproduct of when
you live purposefully,
when you have a clear purpose, she wants to accomplish something
meaningful. In your life, you want to do something you want to make
the most of what Allah has given you. And what Allah has given you
is not the same as what he gave the next person and the next
person and the next person. For some people, they can sleep and
pass the test. Some people can stay up a whole year and barely
pass the test. Allah has not given everybody the same ability. I used
to teach, you know, full time I used to teach Arabic. And I had
some students that barely attended class, and we're on top of
everything. And I did not like them. And then there were students
who used to work so hard, they would get there one hour before
class starts, they would stay two hours after class ends, working,
working, working, working. And at the end of like a year of teaching
them I had to say, Mahabharata, hula hula Arabiya.
Like Allah did not create this person for Arabic. Like he's, he's
an engineer, he's an amazing engineers genius in his field.
Can't do now this is not for him.
And for somebody else, this is
what I'm trying to get at is one, unlike a video game, or unlike a
sport where you follow this and you'll get this result. Then you
can see somebody else did it and they got that result so you can
look at somebody else and follow their way. You can't do that in
life. And that's not what Quran is describing. In fact, the Quran is
actually prescribing the opposite. Without the turban Noma football
Allah hooby Heba welcome I love and this sort of thing, this app.
He said, Don't stop wishing for what preferences Allah has given
some people over other people, some people are just stronger than
you are. Some people are smarter at some things than you are. Some
people are better at business than you are. You know, they opened up
a restaurant and it took off, I opened the the restaurant and I
went bankrupt. It's not fit, same neighborhood, I should have picked
a different neighborhood at least. Right? So the first thing to get
out of his comparison,
and nobody else's life is gonna play out like your life is gonna
play out Allah has drawn and mapped out each of our lives
differently. The second thing that we have to understand is that one
person's blessing is another person's curse.
The same thing, the same, exactly. You would think beauty is a
blessing.
Beauty good looks are a blessing, good looks, God uses a lesson I'm
in jail.
You will think being strong as a blessing. Right? The strength of
Musa alayhis salam is the reason he had to run away from Egypt.
You will, in some contexts, the same thing that you think is
amazing, is the very thing that can get you in a lot of trouble.
That same thing, and for somebody else, it might even be a blessing.
For some people get you losing their job was the best thing that
ever happened to them. But you would think losing a job was a
terrible thing. But all these other opportunities opened up
because they lost their job.
For some other people, they lost their job and it's actually a
difficulty. We don't know. So firstly, we cannot have a black
and white definition of what is a blessing and what is a curse? What
is it? What isn't the amount what is an o'clock? We can't We can't
judge that. We don't know. This was the lesson Allah was teaching
Musa alayhis salam through his journey in South Africa have what
looks like a blessing might be a curse, but might might be a might
be a crystal it's like a blessing. You don't know there's a there's a
long term plan that Allah has will Allahu Allahu Allah is the One who
knows you don't know.
We don't know and you it may be what I signed Takara who shall
be so you don't really don't like something but it's good for you.
Something good has come out of it. As I'm Takahashi and where's all
along FIFA played in Cathedral. It maybe you don't like something
Allah has put a lot of good in it.
So now we step back and I tried to look at my life, we try to look at
your life and we understand it from a lens. And what's that lens?
The two things I want to leave you with. One of them is this idea
that I started with this isn't suited MBR Allah says Kulu laughs
in the cartoon mouse, every person shall be tasting death that's
bound to happen, in fact that I call that a quarter multi Lofa
almost suggests, as if you're already tasting it. Like every
day, every breath is a small taste of death, and we're inching
towards it for the ultimate taste of it. That's already started. So
instead of getting lost, and if I had this, I would be happy. And
even if you had that death is coming and taking that away and
you away.
You understand? Like, imagine somebody who's, you know, whose
house is on fire and they're worried about then if I just had
barbecue chicken right now, this would be so good. No, no, there's
a there's a fire approaching. It's coming. Right now. Maybe the
chicken wouldn't be nice. But maybe you need to think about
getting out of this house right now. There's a bigger problem at
hand. So first, Allah puts things in perspective, you don't have a
lot of time I don't have a lot of time. Death is coming and there's
no way I can avoid it. It's on its way. Then he says just because
death is coming by the way, I don't have to become depressed and
dark and put like dark eyeliner underneath and start listening to
heavy metal emo music and like, everything is gone. Everyone's
gonna die. You're gonna die, death, death, death. You know, you
don't have to do that. Allah says what a blue cone. And we will
absolutely test you with a blue condition we will high we will
test you with good and bad actually literally says he will
test you with bad and good will test you with bad and good. That's
what Allah says. Death is coming. But before it comes, there's going
to be a lot of bad things in your life and it's going to be good
things in your life. And that's Allah's plan for you.
The idea that oh my god, why did something bad happened to me?
How come Allah let something bad happened to me the same way I will
let many good things happen to us.
That was part of the plan. What's supposed to happen?
If I could just find a cheat code to lock like anything bad ever
happened to me ever. You're not getting ready for life. You know,
look, man at a salon was teaching his child how to live as a
believer in the Quran. Like, how to prepare him for life. And he's
a kid this is just a kid. You know what he told him? One of the
things he told them is what spirit Isla sabak
BPAY patient we must be strong. We have grit over whatever hits you,
meaning life will hit you. Things will come. You need to be patient
with and it started with a niche couldn't be grateful to Allah is
where we started. And in the same passage, he's telling his child be
ready for all the things that life's gonna be tough.
I couldn't protect myself from the bad things that were going to come
in my life. I'm in no position to protect my child.
The only thing I can do is prepare my child. This The only thing I
can do is prepare my child. Allah will test you with difficult
situations and with good with hardship and with ease with bed
and with good, he will test you I want to tell you a little bit
before I let you go about the word test.
The word test here is Bella no gluco Bella. It comes from the
Arabic word bulimia. And bulimia was a weird, twisted practice of
the Arabs when the Arabs had somebody died, some rich guy died
and they buried him and used to have a camel. They would tie the
camel to his grave and not feed the camel and let it die. Like
torture the camel by letting it die slowly by tying it to the
grave of the guy who died. Okay. And the Yanni says a turtle and
accompany Sahibi have so now gotten to Oracle and the companies
are heavy handed. Well, that's not fun. It's not fed. It's not given
anything, let it die slowly and it's going through a banana. The
Campbell is going through Herbalife it's being tested slowly
and rigorously. Let's see how long it lasts. The word suggests that
Allah will test us in a way that will essentially be a test of our
stamina. Like you might survive the test today. But it's the test
isn't over. It'll come again and your ability to withstand that
test is a little bit reduced tomorrow and a little bit reduced
tomorrow. Or when Allah tests and what does it mean that we all know
Allah tests were bad? Well, what does it mean Allah tests with
good, Allah test with good too, because when somebody gets hit
with good, they're like, I can afford to be a little bad. Allah
is so good to me.
I can afford it a little bit. Come on, let me have some fun,
you know, different kinds of tests. The good thing that
happened to you might become the worst thing that ever happened to
you because you fail the test.
And the bad thing that happened to you might be the best thing that
ever because you pass the test. That's not gonna happen.
And so he says what you laid out on your own in the end, you're
going to have to be returned to us to die. I want to leave you with
in this last minute. I said we're pursuing happiness, we need to be
pursuing purpose instead. You know when we
Make Hutch
and we're doing
every time we come across the Brooklyn we say Robin attina for
dunya Hasina will ask you about the Hassan Okinawa now this is a
drug that almost everybody here knows. In this lab we ask Allah
for good and beautiful things in this life and good and beautiful
things in the next life and actually in the passage from which
it comes in certain Bacara Allah says women who may follow Robina
attina for dunya Well, hopefully
some people among them, they just say Allah give me in this world,
that Allah I need a new car, I need a new job. I need this. I
need this. I need this. All they're asking for Allah says they
will have nothing in the afterlife.
That's pretty harsh. That sounds pretty harsh. Yeah, Allah was just
asking for a car. Why will I not have anything in the afterlife?
Allah says, but then there are people who say give me the best of
this life. Give me beautiful things in this life and beautiful
things in the next life. What is this is teaching us what is his
daughter teaching us? There's Darius teaching us Yeah, Allah
give me good things in this life, that directly lead to good things
in the next life.
The good things in this life are truly good when they are
purposeful.
And well, how are they purposeful? They will benefit me in some way
in the next slide. Last thing, just cuz I know there's a lot of
business people in our community isn't that analogy. From a
business perspective, there are some expenses you do
that are you just lost, you just throw money down the toilet.
There's just it just burnt, you just burnt money. Right. And then
there are some expenses you do, it has depreciating value, it adds a
value, there's a return on the investment, it's a long term
investment expenses are going to be expenses. But if you're going
to have expenses anyway, might as well have the kinds of expenses
that will have some kind of return. So you make very smart
choices about your expenses. That's the Quran is outlook on all
of dunya I'm gonna experience this world anyway, might as well
experience this world in a way that whenever I'm experiencing
doing something in this dunya it is immediately and also
simultaneously benefiting me in my head, I'm not only thinking about
dunya ever, I'm thinking about dunya and I'm connecting it always
to Morocco. And in this way the Quran kept us from becoming
materialistic. And this way the Quran kept us from becoming you
know, Catholic monks who don't care about the world, we actually
get the best of both. And now they're purposeful. Imagine having
a beautiful car, but you don't you don't know how to drive. It's not
a blessing anymore, because you're not putting it to use you use it
to hang your clothes on it
does not It's not its purpose. Having a having a blessing only
has purpose when you put it to use for something higher. And that's
what the Quran is teaching us. Good and bad. We have to make the
most of it. May Allah azza wa jal make us all people that live in
life of Allah giving us the good of this world that leads to the
good of the next BarakAllahu li Walakum Quran in the game when the
family will eat.
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