Nouman Ali Khan – Divorce in the Quran

Nouman Ali Khan
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The speakers discuss the importance of finding calmness in relationships, avoiding war, and peacefully ending a marriage. They also emphasize the need for everyone to have a peace of mind and not give too much information to anyone who is married. The speakers stress the importance of treating behavior and feelings with excellence and being aware of one's behavior.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:03 --> 00:00:04
			hamdulillah
		
00:00:05 --> 00:00:18
			Al Hamdulillah holofil God Minella Adam, Magellan Lumina volum Mukherjee subliminal LM for multi
Toba to Allah Naadam finish Kuru who Allen masa AB K Manish guru who
		
00:00:20 --> 00:00:37
			will suddenly allow rasuluh Hill from the shoulder fellowship we will do the latter one Kitab in
Markham or camellia in the beginner will hurt them. So you develop the Adam Allah the Bashara be
here at least Abdul Mariam or the Olivia 30 brahim or Alayhis Salam you know can I offer on color a
debate Allah and Muhammad
		
00:00:39 --> 00:00:46
			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam or either it's a hadith Omen Alladhina BarakAllahu B hem gaff at a NASA
Lara Birmingham Elijah
		
00:00:48 --> 00:01:00
			Alhamdulillah Allah de la mia bella Mia Kula who shall akenfield Milk? Well, me Aquila, Willie yo
minitool lever Kabir Jota. Kira. Well hamdulillah De Anza Allah Allah over the hill Kitab Well, let
me Allahu wa
		
00:01:02 --> 00:01:12
			well hamdulillah the dama de who understand you know who want to start a pharaoh? We're not you
know, be who you want that our colorada he when are all the villa him and Cerulean fusina woman say
Dr. Molina
		
00:01:13 --> 00:01:21
			when you had the law who fella mobula woman your father had the other when she had to Allah ilaha
illallah wa would actually kala
		
00:01:22 --> 00:01:31
			when a shadow under Mohammed Abdullah Hera sudo who Salah hula hula I live in Hooda within in the
youth the hara who Allah Dean equal li or Kapha Billahi Shahida
		
00:01:33 --> 00:01:50
			for sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at the Sleeman cathedral cathedral I'm about 20 now stuck on Hadith
the Kitab Allah or hydralie Had he had you Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were in the short
run Ohmori Marta to her were in Aquila more than 13 but I will admit it and voila. Aquila Allah hola
infidel.
		
00:01:52 --> 00:01:54
			Allah azza wa jal Luffy Hill Karim
		
00:01:55 --> 00:01:58
			bada Anahola bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim.
		
00:01:59 --> 00:02:05
			A skin who hold them in HIFU second domain which decom Wallah Tada Rohan and de toda Yoku either him
		
00:02:06 --> 00:02:29
			we're in good now Hola, the Hamelin for and fugu are they hidden that day Ivana homeloan find
another confer to Honda would you run over at me Rubina can be my roof? Well into our soft dome
facade to the Rhoda who okra unifocal dosa Tedman Saudi woman Adira Allah hey the school balloon
factory matter Hola. Now you can live for long enough sun Illa
		
00:02:30 --> 00:02:32
			Allah Who badassery useless
		
00:02:33 --> 00:02:46
			rubbish actually somebody were silly me while we looked at me Listen you have Coco co live along
with a Betta and the naughty Villa Ilaha illa Allah, Allah how much I mean the Latina Amendola amino
Sally had what I was hoping happy with the wasabi subacromial Alameen.
		
00:02:49 --> 00:02:54
			Allah subhanaw taala gave us lots of kinds of risk in this world.
		
00:02:55 --> 00:03:05
			And one of the most amazing that is he gave us is the spouse, the husband to the wife and the wife
to the husband. Adam Alayhis Salam was placed in Jannah.
		
00:03:06 --> 00:03:53
			And in Jannah, Allah said to him or scone Anta was ojochal Jana, what could have been her rather
than hate to Allah mentioned that is of the spouse first. And then he mentioned you can eat whatever
you want. And Jana, so even in describing his life and Jana, he said, settle down and peace, you and
your spouse, and now both of you eat. And we know human beings know a thing or two about joy. You
can have a lot of money, you can have social status, you can have people's respect. You can have the
best clothes, the best car, you can go on the best vacation, but if you're there alone, nobody's
around. And you're sitting in the nicest hotel room on the earth, but you're sitting there alone,
		
00:03:53 --> 00:03:55
			there's something missing in your joy.
		
00:03:56 --> 00:04:40
			Allah even describes in Surah Nisa, one of the tortures of Jahannam in the words Carly then fee her
is implied by implication that one of the tortures of Johanna is that a person will be alone,
they'll feel like they're the only one there. In fact, one of the kinds of torture in this life is
called solitary confinement. Like if a prisoner, they're already in jail. But if they mess up even
more, if they do something that, you know, makes the warden of the prison angry, then they get
thrown in solitary confinement where they don't get to talk to anybody. And that is another it's
above and beyond the physical pain or the, you know, imprisonment. There's a psychological
		
00:04:40 --> 00:04:41
			imprisonment and being alone.
		
00:04:42 --> 00:05:00
			In fact, depression, anxiety, you know, so many of the neck and even suicidal thoughts. A lot of
them have to do with a person feeling like they're the only one there alone. I traveled quite a bit
and one of the things I like to do is just try to understand what Muslim youth are going through
		
00:05:00 --> 00:05:40
			So I was at a school in an Arab country not too long ago, and I surveyed a bunch of young girls,
there were about 400 of them. And I asked them, you know, tell me, I just want to know what you feel
most of the time. And, you know, usually they have these girls and the principal is there and the
teachers are there and the cameras are on and they're not going to speak. So I said, I'm just going
to go and just have a conversation with you. No mic, no camera, just tell me. And the most common
answer I got was I feel alone. Or I'm afraid of being alone. I'm terrified of being alone. And Allah
azza wa jal knows that he created the human being even the name for the human being is in sound,
		
00:05:40 --> 00:06:22
			which has the word owns in it. It has the word love, compassion, companionship. in it. We are
creatures, unlike other creatures, other creatures, find a mate just for biological reasons. We
don't just want to be with somebody for biological reasons. We want to be with somebody because we
feel like they're our best friend. We feel like they can we can connect with them, we feel a good
happiness or joy or calm or tranquility and peace, which can only come in the ultimate sense it
actually comes from the spouse. And so Allah azza wa jal says, Oh scone, and was ojochal Jana, and
the same word from Sakina. From from sukoon and Sakina. And second, Allah then uses in the purpose
		
00:06:22 --> 00:07:04
			of marriage, he says, Lita, scudo, LA, so you can find calmness in her. And you can find calmness in
each other peace and each other. The world is full of stress, the world's got all kinds of problems,
you got money problems at work, you got boss problems, you gotta you got traffic problems, you live
in New Jersey, so you know, you got traffic problems, you got all kinds of stresses on you. And the
one place where all of your stresses go away, as you go to your spouse, you go to your wife, you go
to your husband, all that disappears. Lita, SCU, Eliza, and because they give you that calmness that
cannot come from anywhere else. That's where Allah even adds to that and says Jabba Allah vena cava
		
00:07:04 --> 00:07:17
			Dutton, WA he placed between you in extreme love and care and loving care. That's something that
Allah adds on top of the relationship, but the fundamental relationship is one of Sakina. But life
is not that simple.
		
00:07:18 --> 00:07:35
			Doesn't always work out that way. You thought you're marrying someone that is going to give you
Sakina and then when you get in, the only Sakina is when you leave the house. When you come to the
house, then you're like, What is this, you know, for the HA? And
		
00:07:36 --> 00:07:48
			so there's a, you know, Allah azza wa jal describes Robina habla and I mean, as Regina was reacting
Kurata Aryan, that Allah We begged Allah to give us the coolness of our eyes Kurata Aryan
		
00:07:49 --> 00:08:32
			with our spouses and our children, and the even the expression coolness of the eyes, the Arabs used
to use it before the Quran Kurata you know, who are you know, and they used to make a dua against
someone llamada Allah, Allah called Asad Allahu aina. Who, so they used to say colordyne, who is the
simple explanation is, you know, if you go to the airport, and some mother is saying goodbye to her
son, she's crying. Yes, she's saying goodbye to her son, and some mother is at arrivals. And her son
just came. And she's also crying. So one mother is upstairs in departure terminal crying, and the
other one is arrival terminal crying. But there are different kinds of crying.
		
00:08:33 --> 00:08:45
			One of them is the is the tears of sadness. Those are the eyes being warm, the Arab used to say
Afghan Allahu Aina, who may Allah make your eyes warm, meaning that Allah give you tears of sadness,
and depression and grief.
		
00:08:46 --> 00:09:12
			But the other the mother who's hugging her child who just came from the airport, and she's crying,
this is Kurata Aina Aina, her eyes became cool, she's crying, but these are tears that are bringing
coolness to her heart, you understand? So we met, we begged Allah, that we want so much happiness
from our wife and our husband, that it makes us cry with happiness. It makes us cry with joy. That's
the doorway make to Allah.
		
00:09:13 --> 00:09:26
			But then you have situations where the only time you are crying, is when you leave that crib crying
with happiness. And she says, I'm going to my mom's house for a weekend and you're like, Oh, my God,
say that again. I felt really good.
		
00:09:28 --> 00:10:00
			You know, and you're the entire purpose. The purpose for which you got married, was that you could
be at calm, you could find the coolness of your eyes. But again, sometimes for a wife or for a
husband, it doesn't work out that way. And that doesn't mean that they're bad people. It doesn't
mean that they're no good or evil. One of them has to be bad. One of them has to be wrong, you know
in the American do
		
00:10:00 --> 00:10:10
			Divorce Court system. And even in England from the from the 1700s. Early on, a man could not get
divorced until he proved that his wife cheated on him.
		
00:10:11 --> 00:10:40
			He couldn't say I'm not, I'm not at peace. I'm not, you know, we're not good for each other, we end
up arguing all the time. It's just not good for us. You want to know you have to prove that she did
something terrible. You have to prove it. And the woman had to prove that he cheated. Or he has
another wife. And he did some other crime. Also, he robbed a bank and killed somebody. Because if
she came in said, Well, he's cheating on me, that just says and what else you got?
		
00:10:41 --> 00:11:08
			Because you know how we haven't in America, when you go to some places, you have to show two forms
of ID. Right? They're like, You need to show me two crimes before you can let go of this husband.
That's what they used to have in American legacy. And by the way, Reagan, I believe it was in
America and much later on in the UK, it was in the 70s that they they developed something called no
fault, divorce, no fault divorce means I'm not saying she's a bad person. I'm not saying he's a bad
guy. It's just not good for me.
		
00:11:09 --> 00:11:28
			A woman came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, the wife of 31 case, she came to the
resource Isola, and said, law article and he, if you look at well, again, I'm not complaining about
his character. I'm not complaining about his religion. He's a good guy. He's a good Muslim, he's got
good behavior.
		
00:11:29 --> 00:11:57
			But alcohol COFRA battle Islam. But I might fall into Cofer after becoming Muslim. She wasn't trying
to be open about what she's saying. She's saying, Look, staying with him, doesn't give me peace. And
then the shutdown will come and make me want to find peace somewhere else, and that will be covered.
I don't want to do that. So I'm not saying he's, he's an abuser, or he's beating me or whatever. I
just I can't stay in this marriage is there's no Sakina. And for me, that's what she said basically.
		
00:11:58 --> 00:12:00
			And this is the same that applies for men.
		
00:12:02 --> 00:12:14
			But now, the purpose of my hobo with you is that Allah actually gave us guidance, detailed guidance
on how to peacefully end a marriage if it needs to end.
		
00:12:15 --> 00:12:36
			If it's going to end it better and the way that it started, Allah starts the marriage Lita school no
Elena doesn't find peace. And then at the end of the marriage when you're going to let her go Allah
says ask you know Han Nam In Hi through second time in which the groom you better let them go by
giving them housing peacefully also.
		
00:12:37 --> 00:13:20
			And this is what I'm going to focus on what is it? What is Allah's instruction on ending the
relationship which is so powerful, by the way, Allah talked about Talaq divorce, and how to do it in
more detail than any other law in the entire Quran. Any other law, nothing gets this much detail.
Allah talks about it I after I after I insulted Bukhara he talks about it again in surah. Nisa, he
mentioned it again. And so to Lhasa, and then it's an entire Surah dedicated to it. So total luck
over and over. And so the noon has some injunctions in it too, over and over again. Why? Because
human Allah didn't teach us how to be in a marriage, you can figure that out. You just need the
		
00:13:20 --> 00:13:23
			basic guidelines, but how to end a relationship can get messy.
		
00:13:24 --> 00:13:39
			family gets involved, fights happen, people hate each other. Some people have a lot of anger. Some
people, they say, your wife might tell you, I love you like crazy. But if you ever leave me, I will
hate you like crazy, too.
		
00:13:40 --> 00:13:49
			So you're just you're just on a road trip, and you're just got the threat of your life. She's like,
I just I don't just want to leave. I want to see you burn.
		
00:13:50 --> 00:13:59
			Right? And so there are people that don't just want to end things peacefully. They need revenge,
they need to they find joy in seeing somebody else in pain.
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:12
			And it's not just women who do that men can do that, too. Men can say, Oh, you want to leave her?
Okay. Well, I'm going to make you feel the pain of leaving me. I want you to feel it. Before you go.
		
00:14:13 --> 00:14:40
			What does Allah do? This is this is one of the most to me one of the most incredible lessons in the
Quran. Because it's not just about divorce. It's not just about divorce. It's actually about our
relations with all human beings. I'm going to start by giving you an analogy, which doesn't have
anything to do with divorce. I want you to imagine that you got invited for a lead to one of your
cousin's houses. Yeah. So you go to their house.
		
00:14:41 --> 00:14:44
			And you get along with everybody but there's one cousin you hate him.
		
00:14:45 --> 00:14:59
			Maybe he cheated your business. Maybe he stole money from you. Maybe he insulted your father. He did
something really bad. You hate that guy. If you see him, you're gonna there. Somebody's going to
jail. That's what's going to happen.
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:19
			You're gonna beat him up and you don't know that they invited him also. So you got invited and the
one guy that you have you have a, you know those tart darts in your home you got his picture there
and you shoot darts at that face. And that guy was invited to but you got there a little late it was
Muslim time, and he's already leading the salah.
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:28
			He's leading your cousin that you hate. Target your public enemy number one leading salah. You
joined the Salah,
		
00:15:29 --> 00:15:38
			and when you join the Salah, you hear him reciting Quran but you hate him. You absolutely hate him
but he's reciting Quran and he says Allahu Akbar when he goes into core
		
00:15:39 --> 00:15:42
			are you going to go into too cool? Are you going to say no, not for this guy.
		
00:15:44 --> 00:15:46
			Everybody else goes on record now. I'm not doing it.
		
00:15:47 --> 00:15:54
			Nope, you will go on record. He says send me something Allah Who even Hamidah you get up and you
settle but I was looking around.
		
00:15:55 --> 00:15:58
			He goes in such that Allahu Akbar, you go in such that.
		
00:15:59 --> 00:16:06
			He says a Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah you say salam, ala Guerra, and then after that, you beat him
up. But until the Salah is over,
		
00:16:08 --> 00:16:25
			your personality clash, your animosity, your hatred, your rage, all of that disappeared. Why?
Because you had surrendered yourself to Allah, when you are worshipping Allah, it has nothing to do
with your cousin.
		
00:16:26 --> 00:16:28
			He doesn't exist. You're making salah.
		
00:16:29 --> 00:16:43
			And when Salah is over, you can go back to that. Now keep that. Keep that example in mind. And I'll
share something with you from this remarkable idea. When does somebody want to get divorced, when
they have no peace left?
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:52
			They can't live with it. There's they're always fighting. It's always bad, you know? And so there's
no Sakina
		
00:16:53 --> 00:17:21
			but when they pronounced divorce when they say I divorce you and the the analogy here given actually
is for all of the Matala path. And also for the women that are, you know, they're hyperlipidemia
three cycle periods, right? If they're pregnant until they give the baby if they're too old to have
a period and it's three months time. So all of those conditions in well now let's just say it's
three months, three periods. You reverser, Allah first says you cannot kick them out of your home.
		
00:17:23 --> 00:17:30
			Or first of all, you only got divorced because you cannot live with this woman. And Allah says, You
will live with this woman for three months.
		
00:17:31 --> 00:17:36
			Yeah, Allah, I'm doing this because I cannot live with her. And Allah says, but three more months.
		
00:17:38 --> 00:17:41
			Okay, fine. I'll live with her three more months, but I don't have to like it.
		
00:17:42 --> 00:17:45
			And I'm gonna make sure she knows that. I don't like it either.
		
00:17:46 --> 00:17:50
			So you might accidentally forget to pay the heating bill.
		
00:17:51 --> 00:18:00
			But water is too cold. The electricity is not paid. You purposely leave the door open? Oh, no,
accidentally leave the door open. So the house starts freezing.
		
00:18:01 --> 00:18:04
			Accidentally, you didn't put any gas in her car.
		
00:18:05 --> 00:18:06
			So it's like what's going on?
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:11
			And you keep making little, little little things difficult for her.
		
00:18:12 --> 00:18:24
			Well, look, Allah says I have to give her a house doesn't say I have to provide five star
accommodations. I don't have to be nice. I wasn't even nice to her when we were married. Now we're
getting divorced. Why do I have to be extra nice.
		
00:18:25 --> 00:19:08
			If there was Sakina to begin with, I would that would have continued. But this is the end. So you
know, I don't want to do this. And maybe, maybe you're nice. Maybe you're nice. But she's mad. What
did you say you want to divorce me? Oh, you thought I was bad. Or you haven't seen bad yet. I'm
gonna show you. In these three months, I'm gonna show you how what bad really looks like. And now a
side of her comes out and anger from her comes out. ugly words come out, a rage comes out that
you've never seen in your entire marriage. And in that time, once you settle out those three months
or those nine months or whatever that time is in that time.
		
00:19:10 --> 00:19:16
			Me as a slave of Allah is the same as the guy who's praying behind his cousin.
		
00:19:18 --> 00:19:45
			Whether you're whether you hate your cousin or not, in this time, the way you behave towards the
woman you're divorcing. Whether she's going crazy or not, whether she's raging or not, the way I
have to behave towards her Allah is saying he starts with askin ohana, which has the word Sakeena in
it. So it actually means provide them housing, but I would translate this as provide them peaceful
calm housing.
		
00:19:46 --> 00:19:57
			You got to stay calm. And you say Ya Allah I couldn't even stay calm when I was married. That's why
we're getting divorced. Allah says yeah, but this that was that was for her. This Sakina is for me.
		
00:19:58 --> 00:19:59
			You're not doing it for her.
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:03
			You're doing it for me, you have to calm yourself down.
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:42
			Then he says Ben hyphal second term in which the comb, you have to provide her the same kind of
housing that you make for yourself. You like the house to be a certain way. You pick the right
neighborhood, you put the right temperature, we put the right kind of furniture comforts, right, our
home is our palace, and we like things a certain way. And he says the same way you want to be
perfectly comfortable. You like for example, you like orange juice, you will not if you really like
your orange juice, when you lose 25% You already know you're gonna get it before you before it runs
out. Because you don't want to be in a crisis situation and there's no orange juice.
		
00:20:43 --> 00:21:09
			When there's something missing, you're gonna restock, you're gonna put it because you can't
compromise your comfort. Well, if you're going to provide the same standard for the woman, you're
divorcing, then if she likes orange juice, and she likes the eggs your restocking before it even
runs out before she even has to say anything. Because Allah is essentially saying you're giving her
housing and comfort the way you would give to yourself.
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:22
			You're actually serving the exact same way you would serve yourself. That is the standard Allah put
for such a woman. A skin ohana. Men hate to second domain which they call.
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:28
			Then he says Well, I told our Rohana don't cause them any hurt.
		
00:21:30 --> 00:21:59
			Now you can hurt physically. You can hurt financially. Normally you give now you're not giving
normally you spend you're not spending you can hurt by you know when people are married. They do
things for each other naturally. Right? Maybe sometimes you do the dishes sometimes she does the
dishes. Maybe sometimes you help with the baby. Sometimes she helps with the baby. Maybe sometimes
you get together she gets together. It's understood. But now we're like we're gonna I don't have to
do anything extra.
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:03
			I was when I liked you. Now it's official.
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:19
			I don't like you. It's official, I already said for lucky turkey. So I don't have to do that. No,
no, no, don't cause any even the most minor kind of hurt. Not with your words, not with your
actions. Not with your finances. Not allowed. Not allowed.
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:29
			And by the way, if you think about her, there's going to be very hard because every time you see
your face, you're like I just want to get away from you. I don't want to do more for you. I want to
do less for you.
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:42
			But you're not doing it for her. She became invisible like my cousin became invisible when I was
praying Salah I'm not doing it for her. Allah is telling me to do it. Now this is between me and
Allah.
		
00:22:43 --> 00:23:05
			Different mindset altogether Latuda ruhuna that he says little boy here who either you don't cause
any kind of harm that might make them feel uncomfortable, that might make them feel tightness. Allah
is going so far as to say I have to now think about not just what I am doing. I have to think about
how she will feel.
		
00:23:06 --> 00:23:20
			Allah is forcing me to think about the piece of rehab. Myself I have to think about the discomfort
that she will feel inside when I behave. Labrador Rohana little over a year Chua Lee Hannah.
		
00:23:21 --> 00:23:23
			And then comes the next matter.
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:28
			He says if they are found when canola to Hamlin and if they're pregnant,
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:36
			find fugu Elena hardtail Donna Hamlin, then if they are pregnant, then spend on them.
		
00:23:38 --> 00:24:01
			Well my call Maka yet calibre who subhanho? wa Taala because he he unphysical how they henna be my
roof. cannot call Saarbrucken Tommy Roberto FEMA bad what Tommy Robaina can be out of? Oh, MC gonna
be my roof. Oh five you're gonna be my roof. Well, I can what am I called? Subhan Allah Allah and
fuku la hinda be my roof.
		
00:24:03 --> 00:24:06
			Well, I can now and Fuqua la Hannah
		
00:24:07 --> 00:24:14
			Illa Maria De Luz Alec. It was Sir. Film of home. It'll WUSA fill. In fact,
		
00:24:15 --> 00:24:29
			Allah azza wa jal says spend on them. He doesn't say spend just enough on them spend adequately on
them. He just says spend on them. What does that mean? Men when you say man he spends on his wife.
		
00:24:31 --> 00:24:57
			This guy spends on his kids. What does that mean? Spends a little bit he gives them 50 cents a
month. What does that mean? That means he open handed. He lets loose. He's not tight * with the
budget. He's generous when he gives. If they are pregnant, then spend Why Why should you become
extra generous if she's pregnant? Here you are thinking man, I want to get rid of this woman while
you're pregnant. Oh my god
		
00:24:59 --> 00:24:59
			is complicated.
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:11
			things and Allah is saying a life that is a NEMA from Allah has come into your garden you're this
you will show gratitude to Allah by being more generous than you were before.
		
00:25:13 --> 00:25:29
			So your relationship with her is not even the issue anymore. Now you're showing gratitude to Allah.
is unthinkable Allah Hanna, Hatha Yoga Agha habla Han and by the way, when you're spending on her
her food, her clothing, her warmth, her health, when you're spending her on her comfort,
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:33
			aren't you automatically spending on the baby?
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:50
			When she's eating good food, who's also eating good food? The baby when she's warm, who's also warm
the baby when she's protected from sickness, the baby's protected from sickness when she's saved
from anxiety, the BBC from anxiety. Isn't that the case?
		
00:25:51 --> 00:26:13
			So you're actually now Allah even didn't even describe them as Hamlet. He said, we'll add the humble
carriers of a burden, like the focus or cause al Hammond fill color. So you brought the attention to
the pregnancy. So it just could be considered to the baby until they give birth to a child. Now once
they give birth to the child.
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:16
			Then Allah says in our dharna lecan
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:24
			You could have some kind of Milan Can you call for in Donna Hola, Donna.
		
00:26:25 --> 00:26:35
			If they feed their baby, if they feed their baby called in Organa. Loco, if they feed the baby for
you, men.
		
00:26:36 --> 00:27:00
			Allah is teaching us something very powerful in the saya is teaching us that the moment a baby is
born, the full 100% responsibility of the child's health of the child's finances, of the child's
housing, everything related to the child that involves responsibility. 100% first goes to the man,
		
00:27:01 --> 00:27:02
			man's responsibility.
		
00:27:03 --> 00:27:04
			Man's expense.
		
00:27:05 --> 00:27:47
			If the mother the obviously, when a baby's born, a dad can't feed the child, the mother has to
Breastfeed the child. If they're going to feed the child. They're providing you a service we see
when you were married. You were a team. So she's not doing you a favor, because you're a team. But
if you're divorced, the moment she gives birth, she's she owes us zero nothing. The moment the
delivery happens, the relationship is officially over. So now if she's feeding the baby, she's
actually doing something for you the man. So Allah says our 200 Euro, Honda Naka and fugu Elena. Now
he didn't say spend on them spend on them means they're your responsibility. While she was pregnant,
		
00:27:47 --> 00:28:03
			she was your responsibility. Now he says our two Honda or Juraj, Honda, give them their salaries,
give them their paycheck, give them their compensation. Why? Because now this is a service she is
provided for providing to benefit you. She doesn't owe you that.
		
00:28:04 --> 00:28:17
			So she's going to pay you for her, you're gonna have to pay her for her time. The milk that she's
feeding the fact that she might be getting work somewhere else or to be doing something else with
their time. She's not doing that for you.
		
00:28:18 --> 00:28:30
			So you, you've got a car and then the question becomes, how much should I pay Ya Allah? Is there a
minimum wage law in the Quran? Or is there some can be $3 $5? What are we talking about here? Allah
says, Whatever you will be no can be my roof.
		
00:28:31 --> 00:28:37
			You need to come to a decision together in a dignified way about how much the payment should be.
		
00:28:38 --> 00:28:39
			You need to work that out with each other.
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:44
			You see, this is a person you're not you don't want to spend your life with this person.
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:53
			But every step, Allah is telling you to be extremely, extremely, extremely courteous and fair with
this person is any
		
00:28:54 --> 00:28:59
			extremely kind and courteous with this person. And all of this instruction is to the men.
		
00:29:00 --> 00:29:01
			He didn't say anything to the women.
		
00:29:03 --> 00:29:20
			And some of you brothers can say, bro, I went through a divorce man. She was crazy. She did this,
this, this and this. What does Allah say about that? What she did? Allah is telling me what I should
do. He should tell her what she should do. Is there any IOER Allah says she should calm down a
little bit?
		
00:29:21 --> 00:29:25
			She should not do this. Is there anything like that? Because you know, she's just one cycle.
		
00:29:27 --> 00:29:31
			Nope. I can't give you anything. And I have some thoughts on why?
		
00:29:32 --> 00:29:38
			It's because in these months, when she has been divorced, the divorce is not final yet. He could
take her back.
		
00:29:39 --> 00:29:54
			And depending on her behavior, either he will say I was wrong. She's a good woman. I hurt her
feelings by divorcing her and she's still acting in this dignified honorable way. And your heart
will become soft towards her.
		
00:29:55 --> 00:30:00
			And you'll want to make it work. But if her worst behavior comes out and just
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:03
			Time. What's the man going to look at and say, Yeah, Allah.
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:04
			Thank you.
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:24
			That was the right call, hoof. Now I know what she's really like. In other words, the man is being
tested with his best behavior from instruction from Allah, and the woman is being tested as if for
young Ramadan family Domina. Allah says, let's see what you do. Let's see what you do.
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:39
			Because their behavior will determine whether they're going to get back together, or it's going to
be over forever, because the man's behavior has been dictated by Allah, and the woman is being told,
let's see how you behave. Basically,
		
00:30:40 --> 00:30:50
			Tammy Robaina can be Matt Ruth, come up to a negotiation among yourselves. Now, for example, a woman
says no, we're not married anymore. I'm not going to feed your baby.
		
00:30:51 --> 00:31:26
			I know it's my baby too. But since we're divorced is your responsibility. And he looks like you I
hate that. I don't want to look at him all day. I don't want to feed your child. Let's say a woman
says that anybody here would say a stalker Allah. What kind of woman is this? She's not feeding her
child. Okay, you know, in Allah, he wouldn't allow her junk. What happened to mothers nowadays?
2024. What does Allah Allah do in the Quran? He says, For me, Robaina could be my roof, or
interessato. And if you find difficulty, she's not agreeing. Or you're not agreeing, or it's too
expensive for you, or it's too little for her. Or she says, No, I'm moving on with my life or
		
00:31:26 --> 00:31:31
			whatever, you're not able to agree because you cannot force her. You can't force her. Allah says,
because
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:35
			then somebody else will have to feed her.
		
00:31:36 --> 00:32:06
			But Allah didn't. Allah didn't instruct or humiliate or condemn or lecture, even that woman. He did
it. It is oh, how could you not feed your own baby, he didn't say that to her. He just said to the
man, by the way, if you can't get her to do it, then find somebody else to do it, who you can
afford. And the next idea is about Europe. People who can have more money should be more generous.
And people who have less money, they should do whatever they can from whatever Allah gave them, for
you and Fukushima, atta, hula.
		
00:32:07 --> 00:32:19
			That's the instruction of Allah. Now, what did we learn from all of that I've taken over my time,
I'll just take one more minute. What we learned from all of that is, it's not just about divorce,
sometimes you have to deal with people you don't like them.
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:36
			You have to deal with a neighbor, you don't like them. You know, sometimes as a parent, you don't
like your parents, sometimes your mom just drives you crazy. She's your mom, you're supposed to, you
can't, you have to be the best to her, but you can't force yourself to like, how she talks to you.
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:43
			You know, so sometimes in our life, we have to deal with people whose behavior we don't like.
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:47
			But Allah has given those people rights.
		
00:32:48 --> 00:33:11
			In his book, Allah has given them rights. So we have to crush our feelings, and we don't have to
change our feelings. But we do have to change our behavior. So you don't have to like someone to be
good to them. You don't have to love someone to take care of them. The man's letting go of his wife,
he's still taking care of her still giving her Sakina still being generous, isn't it?
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:35
			So Allah is separating our feelings from our behavior. This is listened again, especially the young
men and women in this audience. Allah is separating your feelings from your behavior, how you feel
towards someone will not dictate how you behave towards someone. How you behave towards someone will
be dictated by Allah, how you feel towards someone, you have the right to feel,
		
00:33:36 --> 00:33:50
			your feelings or your feelings. Your behaviors are carried by Allah. We're living in a time now. And
tick tock therapy world where your behavior is being dictated by your feelings. Do what you feel.
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:53
			Do you live your truth?
		
00:33:54 --> 00:34:25
			Your house is your God, your feelings are your anger. Your anger is dictating you. I'm traumatized.
That's why I act this way. You did this. That's why I'm acting this way. feelings, feelings,
feelings, behavior, behavior, behavior. Allah separates between those two and that is the test of
Taqwa and disorder. That's the tester who will actually separate their feelings from their behavior
keeping Allah in mind because without Allah in mind, you can't do it. It's impossible. Without Allah
in the equation, you will always let your feelings determine your behavior always.
		
00:34:26 --> 00:34:30
			And so Allah azza wa jal says at the end of these ayat, Santiago Allahu.
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:50
			Allah will make ease after he made difficulty or after there was difficulty Allah will create some
nice for you. May Allah azza wa jal bring ease in all of our lives and teach and give us the
strength of Taqwa that we can separate our behavior from our emotions. BarakAllahu li Walakum Phu
Quran Al Hakim whenever anyway you can read it was again
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:59
			Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam O Allah everybody Hilah Dina Stouffer also sent a lot of thought to
him or hurt him in the beginning.
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:37
			hammer the nail. Meanwhile early he was a huge marine called Allah azza wa jal Fickett. Kadeem Botha
and Aquila arugula Homina shaytaan Nakajima, in Allah Allah, Allah Allah Allah. Allah Deena Abdul
Salam o Allah He was selling with a slimmer Allahumma Salli ala Muhammad Ali Muhammad cabasa later
alive Rahim. What are the early for hemophilia alameen and Majeed Allahumma barik ala Muhammad Ali
Mohammed came about Allah Ebrahim rather early Ibrahim Al Amin in the middle Majeed about Allah
Rashid Malcolm Allah it took Allah and Allah Allah Allah will deal with action. What is the Kaurava
when her an infection you will conquer? Political Allahu Akbar, Allahu La momentus. Now in the
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:38
			salata Cara
		
00:35:41 --> 00:36:03
			locomotor law who liked better a shadow, inner in no law a shed one no Mohammad Rasool Allah. Hi yah
la sala de hyaline Fela further Palma Jin Salah to further pyrometers Allah, Allah Allahu Akbar
Allahu Akbar Allah Allah in no more
		
00:36:18 --> 00:36:19
			hola hola Kabil
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:44
			Alhamdulillah he wrote me in a Walkman you're watching Maliki a weenie D when
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:52
			you're gonna go door you're gonna study again.
		
00:36:53 --> 00:37:02
			Then I'll set off on you Mr. Clean. So you're off on novena and I'm the only
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:17
			one your email will go to him one oh whoa on clean Amin
		
00:37:23 --> 00:37:24
			Yes,
		
00:37:26 --> 00:37:32
			Soul a bulldog back Omona the Cornell pumpkin one Naveen Amin kabhi De Palma
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:41
			and Latvija Anna comun love your own show was
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:54
			well elemina has
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:03
			a whole long journey he means to respond Nippon fed
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:24
			well in tune Fiona even man azana IBD door to the Soraa team in mislead what they're also
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:32
			doing the learning going to follow up in
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:36
			any lambda follow
		
00:38:37 --> 00:38:53
			up on no nothing welcome we'll do another one. Hey Joe. Or that little girl feeding web machinery
lazy man oh well I'm you know slowly Hardy and Jen
		
00:38:55 --> 00:38:57
			Nana hujan
		
00:38:58 --> 00:39:04
			Tajiri mu and how was your call mean?
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:07
			What was your bomb in
		
00:39:08 --> 00:39:20
			some of these Gong GOD OH have a love you lose your corner. I mean COVID We're on to the motor.
Shelby's word our home feed.
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:22
			As was
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:30
			hauled off, while home feed her hoard Eden Allah
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:44
			Sami Allahu naman Hamidah.
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:49
			Allah to
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:01
			Hola Hola
		
00:40:06 --> 00:40:08
			Hola Hola como
		
00:40:24 --> 00:40:26
			hola hola que Bella
		
00:40:29 --> 00:41:11
			Alhamdulillah here have been me going out water man you're walking me Maliki mi d in iya Ghana in
Ghana staring me in the No sweat off on a more sturdy so you're all convener and I'm dialing in on
email do him one up on me join
		
00:41:12 --> 00:41:14
			me in mean
		
00:41:19 --> 00:41:23
			Xuyen earning nurse your full bushel 80 million
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:35
			in one Bernina one Cornell pleaded even more bowl talathi Mina Ville Have you wouldn't feel *
when coilin Musa were met in one
		
00:41:36 --> 00:41:44
			house then he came at all you hang it you don't need one more war you that was was known
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:51
			owner be Oh calm second before you
		
00:41:52 --> 00:42:14
			leave Lynn Lavina tap on while Dora being engine to Tajiri me and Holly Dean Holly Deena Fiza was
way too long go to too worried one more one more who will see you won't be naive.
		
00:42:16 --> 00:42:17
			And Levine I have
		
00:42:20 --> 00:42:20
			in
		
00:42:22 --> 00:42:26
			common fellow Finn as well weld
		
00:42:27 --> 00:42:27
			and
		
00:42:30 --> 00:42:41
			I saw the Reno saw the 18 hour look on it in one move you clean when you move up. No one was still
feeding us.
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:45
			Shahid Allahu
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:56
			Allah, Allah, Allah. Allah you got 209 Mucor Iman be looking spoke.
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:06
			Ila one lies is own hacking stream. Allahu Akbar.
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:20
			Semi Allah Honeyman. Homido the
		
00:43:24 --> 00:43:25
			Allahu Akbar
		
00:43:38 --> 00:43:39
			hola hola
		
00:43:44 --> 00:43:45
			hola Hola
		
00:43:57 --> 00:43:59
			Hola y'all
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:35
			let's set up Mwana you can wall off Metallo
		
00:44:37 --> 00:44:42
			a Santa wanna you can wall off metal low
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:00
			In this video