Nouman Ali Khan – Dignified Humility

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it's an honor to be here. And I'm going to start by making dua for all of you and all of your families that Allah azza wa jal to preserve you, protect you and your deen and put baraka and do this and allow you to raise children that are going to be carriers of this deen and further Islam in this part of the world.

Today's hubbub in order to help me deliver its message, I want you to understand the concept. The Arabic term for it is a Nyssa Association. But I will try to explain it to you by way of some easy examples before we get to the idea that I want to discuss with you.

If somebody says, Hey, you have a very famous scholar, and you meet a student of that very famous scholar than the student, people point to them and say, you know, he's he's the student of Cher, so and so. So they created a nice Bob, and association between the student and their teacher, and all of a sudden your opinion of this person changed, because now they're associated with something high, or someone prestigious, or you assume them to be more more knowledgeable someone you can ask questions to because there's a connection. Similarly, if I were to say to you, this is this person works for the President, all of a sudden, this becomes high profile, because he's got a direct line

of access to the President. But this works in negative ways, too. If you know, you know, somebody who has a criminal history and you say this guy is that guy's best friend, you know, the guy in jail that says Best Friend, automatically, he's probably halfway guilty already. probably already done something messed up because he's associated. You don't get it. You're you're either dignified by association, you became a VIP by association, or you became a criminal by association. You're guilty by association. You're honored by association, right? And people do this a lot and they make they try to make an association with someone to maybe feel better about themselves. Right and we do this

so much in our life that you know, if somebody ever got a chance to meet the President or got a chance to meet I don't know, some some billionaire or something and they take a picture with them. Then we'll just take the picture and keep the maybe print the picture, put it in their home anybody walks in, really? And that's your that's your Facebook profile, or that's your background profile image because people need to see who you are.

are associated with, because they're like, oh, wow, let's try. This got some connections, you know. So the idea of association everybody understands.

But now think of it another way. You know, there's a lot of stories about Amazon, the company, Amazon, and one of the stories about them is that they, especially in the United States, that they have very gruesome, grueling working hours for their employees, and they don't give them any breaks and they keep them on a timer and all of this kind of stuff. So when you say, Hey, this guy works for Amazon, or he works in the Amazon warehouse, immediately you start feeling sorry for them.

Like he must not have another choice what to work here because the way they treat you I know. Right? So if you associate someone with working for somebody who is oppressive, who is you know, treats them badly, Oh, this guy's a taxi driver in that country. Oh, I know how they pay. I know how to treat taxi drivers in that country. Man, you work for those people. I feel sorry for you. Right. Now I'm giving you all of this, these examples to get to the point and the point is the IRA that I wanted to share with you from social for con.

The association we have is with Allah, we are a rebirth of Allah, we're slaves of Allah.

So we're connected to Allah by that relationship with Allah called us in this ayah about Obama and we are servants and slaves of Ramadan. So just like if I tell you I'm associated with this kind of teacher or that kind of person, you immediately have an impression of what that must mean for me. If Allah is telling us there are some people who are associated with Allah and not just the name of Allah, Allah associated them with his name or Rama. These are rotmans servants. If you know a really nice man, a human being a really nice man, you say, you know that really nice man who's always nice to kids. These are his kids. These are his children. Immediately you would think Oh, mashallah,

these kids are so fortunate they have such a loving father. I've seen him around children. He's so merciful and so kind. They're so lucky. They must be being they must be raised with so much love. When I call now think about Allah azza wa jal, Melinda and my fellow Darla, when you say about Obama, and these are the servants of a black man, that must mean Allah must have so much Rama on them. Allah must give them so much of his love and his care and his protection, and must always be taken care of them. These are special people to Allah, because they're connected with Allah Ahmad. They've given themselves to a rough man, and man is associating himself with them.

And so with this description at the end of Soto foregone, that association that's made, it says something about Allah and it also says something about us. It says about Allah that he takes he takes care of his servants he loves and cares for his servants. Allah is not just there to impose his authority on the serpents if he wanted. He could make us like he made the ant and the bird and the tree that follow Allah's commands, whatever He tells them to do, they do. He made us with choice, he made us we get to disobeyed him, too. And yet, he's still a rock man to us. He's still merciful and loving to us. But on the flip side of that, from my perspective, me being connected to

our man means that Allah is so has so much llama on me. What effect does that have on my personality? Like, what does that do to the way that I deal with people? What does that do to the way that I see everyone in my in life? I mean, a random stranger, what goes through my mind? I deal with my family do I am I aware of the fact that I, at this moment, I represent a rock man, because I'm associated with a rock man? Right? You know, sometimes you go to a restaurant and the waiter treats you badly. Miss treats you and then you complain to the manager and he gets fired because they cannot tolerate somebody misrepresenting the restaurants. You get fired.

I as a as a man, am the candidate for the rest of humanity. I have to become the representative of our man. They don't know him, they know me. And through doing me they have a chance of getting to know him. So my treatment of them will immediately make them say, where did you learn this from? Why are you like this? Who's behind this? Oh, no, that's because I'm a slave of man. That's where I got that from. You see, that's how this this connection works. And if we don't represent the Russia of Allah and the way we carry ourselves, then what impression are we giving not just about ourselves? What impression what wrong impression are we giving about Allah to people, to our own family, not

even to non Muslims, even the other Muslims. The first description of rebuttal Rockman at the end of Soto for pan and Surah number 25. This is the last passage of Surah number 25.

The first description Allah gave, you will think that people that are closest to a rock man will pray to Him.

They make dua to him, they still stay up in the middle of the night and they do it, I bother to him, they give sadaqa for it and they give charity for him. They sacrifice themselves for him. They worship Him all the time. They remember him all the time. None of these qualities were mentioned first in fact, and Athena yet whether they may be tuned in, they will be him. So JW Akiyama, they spend the entire night staying up for their master in such the and standing was the second quality that was mentioned not the first.

That's not the number one thing that makes them a bad man. There's something that's the number two thing, which is pretty amazing. They stay up in the middle of the night. That's a hard thing to do. There's just worship Allah. It's hard enough to for us to pray in the middle of the day, no magic in the middle of the night. And then to do that long hours of the night. That's an incredible, incredible quality, but Allah considers something even more incredible. And he put that as number one. And what is that? And then I am sure neither of the Hohner

anybody will respond or people who walk around on the earth. And I guess the one way to translate this is with humility, but I'll explain that a little more hone in Arabic, is neuroma, a neuroma What are Hawa? Well, Adam, Macaulay Salah button, it means you walk softly, they're gentle, you're easy to deal with. So I'm walking on the by the way, walking on the Earth doesn't just mean walking in a desert. It means going to the market, it means going to work. It means going to school, it means hanging out with friends, it means visiting family, it means sitting and talking to people, it means dealing with a difficult post office worker, it means difficult talking to the police talking

to every interaction you're having is walking on the earth. That's what it represents. And now Allah is saying these people their standard when they when they deal with people, people they know people they don't know, their standard is they are soft, gentle, easygoing, in the way they deal with people. You come and sit in a restaurant with your family. And you sit down and the person comes in to waters. Noise, okay.

But it's not Honan the person you just told you, a napkins, hey, we need some forks over here. When you talk to them this way, then you don't see them as a creation of Allah, you see them as your servant, and they owe you and you have to talk to them, like you own them. And you forget, and I forget that I'm the adult batman. And actually they are also even if they don't know it yet, they are also have no Batman. And so I have to treat them with that respect. And I have to say, Sir, if you kindly could, can I have a couple of napkins? Can I please have some water? And by the way, what's your name? And then calling them by their name? You know, if you get into the habit of doing

that, just asking somebody that it's some people who serve you, what's your name?

Sometimes you do that, you know what people do? They start crying. I've experienced it. You know what, they start crying. like nobody's ever asked me that before. People don't even see me. People just see that I'm late. People that have seen I didn't do this or that or the other. You treat people almost like they're machines. But treating your employees feeding your children to neighbors, feeding servers, treating random people you eat us with just a kind smile, which is soft language, soft body language, somebody bumps it to you, you could do one of two things a watch, oh, what do you do it? Or you could say, and they say I'm sorry? This is perfectly fine. Do you need help? You

can you can do you have a choice? You have a choice between those two options. And Allah is saying the people that are recognize that they represent our man all the time, they are disabled on the earth, that when they go around and deal with people that they don't have this kind of reaction. But then the question is, if you're so soft, people will walk all over you. You're told man, if you live in a tough world, you can't just be nice, because then people will take advantage of you. And you're just gonna get robbed and stolen from and all of that. Look, your manners is something else. And your principles is something else. Just because you're nice doesn't mean you're allowing yourself to

be taken advantage of which is why if you look look at the early commentaries on this ayah on the meaning of the word hound in the mammoth Tabari, he noted noted many many Sedef who commented on this idea and they keep repeating two words a Sakeena to one worker was Sakina leatherworker. Yanni, I'm sure another Sakeena way I'm sure I've been to ACOP which means they work calmly. They're very calm. So people around them become calm to they don't escalate a situation to de escalate a situation. And yet at the same time, they walk with dignity. They have self respect. I'm not going to be so kind that allow you to install

For me, that's not going to happen either. So I don't have to become like a porcupine, I've got spikes all over me. But you could even come near. But I don't have to become so soft that you walk all over me either there is that balance that is captured in the word Conan.

And even then you can you can put someone in their place. But you could do that with a smile. You could do that kindly. And that's, that's what you have to learn to do what I have to learn to do if we're going to be about Obama. And the thing is, some people are easy to deal with. And some people are hard to deal with. Take the example of a teacher, a teacher has students in their class, some kids are very well behaved. They listen, they respect the teacher, they're eager to do the work. And some kids want to talk back. They want to disrespect, they want to get up, they don't want to listen. And as soon as they don't want to listen, the teacher says, Hey, you said Ah to this to the

immediate reaction, right? And imagine this principle that the teacher calls that one child that is behaving misbehaving, the son that's misbehaving. The young man who's misbehaving the woman, the girl that's misbehaving, calls them over, sits them down, has a gentle conversation with them. Do you not like me? Is there something that you're angry about? Can you talk to me? I really want to understand, where's this behavior coming from?

And all of a sudden, they're like, I thought you're supposed to yell at me. Why aren't you yelling at me? Are you being nice? Where's this coming from? This is actually called Hidden and this is part of the deceit of home.

That yet I'm Aluna. And that's when when they deal with people, they, the people were expecting anger, and you treated them with dignity anyway.

You know, there's there's somebody that not recent recently, that was going somewhere, and somebody wanted to ask me a question. And it was a very long question. It wasn't me late at night, and they wanted a long question to be answered. And I said, My dear, my family's waiting, my baby's sleeping, I have to go there. But this is a very important question. I really need to ask me. So they asked again, and I said, I would love to answer this question. But I cannot do that in 30 seconds, I'll probably end up giving an entire lecture on this question for you. I can do that. But I can't do it right now. Because my family's waiting if you allow me, but okay. I'm back to the CEO. Again, you

have to answer this question. And then he was he was holding my hand. And he wasn't letting go of my usual news sheet, the shake your hand and don't let go. So now I'm trying to pull back and he's not letting go.

Because this is a really important goal. And then you repeated the question as if I never heard the question again. And at this point, I have a choice, I could pull my head and say, You know what, leave me alone, and walk away. Or I could say, if you could just let go of my hand, then I can go take care of my baby. And Inshallah, I will not be answering your question right now. Because I can't, not because I don't care, because I can't. And I hope you can understand that as soon as I have the opportunity. I will. Can you trust me?

And he said,

okay, okay. Yes, yes, I understand.

There's different ways of dealing with people. There's different ways, there's that that conversation could go a very different way that could go, I could just pretend not to even see the guy next to him, Brother, brother, brother, brother, I could just walk right by him and not even look at it, I could do that. That's an option. But it violates home, it violates them shoot out of the home, and I'm not going to sacrifice the needs of my family to take care of him. I'm not going to do that either. So I'm going to have to find that middle. And that's a Sakina when we're calling, they're both things at the same time. And you'll be put in those kinds of situations all the time.

But what's the extreme case?

The extreme case is where the club have a winter jacket.

What about you eat people that don't control their emotions? Sometimes you eat people like a very angry journal is actually not just anger, as John means in an inability to control your emotions. Somebody has the inability to control their voice or to control their behavior or to control their temper or the control their their place. You know, somebody just grabs you and says, Hey, I want to talk to you. Well, they go, man, what are you doing? Right? In those kinds of situation? What do you do with that you de escalate the situation and Allah says called New cinammon which means two things. They say Sudan they say peace, meaning I need you to calm down. Saddam also means goodbye.

You walk away from the conversation. And Carlos Robert can also be a howl, which means they speak peacefully even though they're raising your voice. You're not raising your voice. They're escalating, you're not escalating. Right? And so as the time wraps up, because I know many of you have to get back to work so I don't want to take long overtime from from the foot but but I'll share one more quick idea with you this was some sort of for con. But the other idea that I wanted to share with you in this context belongs to sulcal Israa. So also considered very sorry, Allah says that while I attempt chief and OB Monahan Well, I think she even oblique Mara.

Ha, don't walk on the earth with Mara, which also gets translated as pride. But let me tell you something about mother

land where the the plants grow super quick, is called out a balloon Madiha. Actually, that's what it's called. Okay. And then when you shoot an arrow, and the arrow shoots out quickly, that arrow is called modal. It's modal. Okay, certainly it sorry, I call it sorry, to say the second. That's what actually modal means. What does that mean for us as a person, Allah says, Don't walk on the earth, quick to react. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't just explode. Don't just, you know, be spontaneous. Calm down, understand the situation absorb before you decide to react. It also maybe even suggest, don't be quick to open your mouth.

Maybe you open your ears better than you open your mouth. Right? This is what Adam Schiff said of the Mara Hab. These are the qualities of everybody, man, this is what they develop inside of themselves. This is a quality I have to develop in me and I have to see, maybe it's easier for me to have this quality with some people because I like them. And it's harder for me to have this quality with some other people because I don't like them. But actually the test here is to have this kind of approach, even in even when dealing with difficult people, even when dealing with difficult people. May Allah azza wa jal make us people that live up to the beautiful teachings of his book Milazzo to

make a study about the man that walk on the earth, when hone that don't walk on the earth with Mara that aren't spontaneous and overreacting and you know, combust and explode in anger or any kind of reaction. May Allah give us that maturity and that composure that when people see it, they say, where did you get that from? I've never seen anyone that has so much self control. How are you so calm? Anybody else would have gone crazy. Why are you so composed? And then you say, Well, this is from my era, a rock man, let me introduce you. So you didn't have to give Dawa. The way you carried yourself? Actually wanted them to know when what university did you graduate from? That's the

University of the word of Allah. That's where I got this from, right? May Allah azza wa jal make us that kind of representative of His Word. And may Allah azza wa jal keep us from becoming like the Jihoon BarakAllahu li Walakum filled Quranic Hakim, when in fact anyway, El Camino it was declared Hakeem