Naima B. Robert – What is a Woman POWERFUL convo about femininity, narcissism and gender roles Umm Khalid

Naima B. Robert
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The conversation covers the negative impact of women on society and how they use "willful" and "willful" behavior. The "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community" and "operating of the community

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			Bismillah Salam Alaikum
Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Welcome
		
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			back guys, this is another episode
of The womanhood conversation. I'm
		
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			your host name a beat Robert and
delighted to have you back for
		
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			another session where we are
examining the whole concept and
		
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			notion of what it means to be a
woman in today's society and today
		
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			I have a fantastic guest for you
Masha Allah, she is Omaha pilot.
		
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			And if you don't know her, then
you missed her conversation in the
		
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			marriage conversation with her and
her husband, brother Daniel. But
		
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			I'm not going to even give any
spoilers sis, oh Khaled please
		
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			introduce yourself, tell the
people who you are. And what it is
		
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			that you get up to Santa Monica,
welcome to Allah, thank you so
		
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			much just like a Lo Fi nightmare
for having me again, on your
		
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			podcast. It's such a pleasure and
an honor to be here. And
		
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			basically, I am a mom, I'm a wife,
I am a homeschooling mom, for
		
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			children Hamdulillah. And what I
do generally is just, I write
		
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			sometimes on my Facebook page on
these topics, the topics that I
		
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			kind of live in my day to day,
being a wife and a mother and what
		
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			it means to live those roles in a
secular kind of modern context, as
		
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			in a traditional way as a
traditional Muslim, what that
		
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			means and what that looks like,
etc, etc. And a lot of what I talk
		
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			about involves feminism, because
that's the backdrop to all of
		
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			this. I also helped my husband a
little bit with horses on his
		
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			platform, which is an online
institute called LSVT Institute,
		
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			the name LS now coming from ls
nalsap. The word of rumor? Or the
		
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			Allahu Anhu when he asked the
purpose of them, are we not on the
		
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			truth? The artists are alone,
aren't we on the truth and let's
		
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			not help. So anyway, so I helped a
little bit there. One thing I did
		
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			want to mention, speaking of LS
net is coming up in sha Allah this
		
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			in like four days, this Friday in
sha Allah, October 14, I'm really
		
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			excited to actually
		
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			start or basically launched this
new class that I'm actually going
		
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			to be hosting called wife School,
which is exactly on this topic
		
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			that I saw that mashallah was like
dough she got there first and the
		
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			name Baraka Luffy. Mashallah, so
we can talk more about that? No,
		
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			we definitely could talk more
about that. And we'll put the link
		
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			as well in the description for
everybody who's interested in
		
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			jumping over there and getting the
gems, which inshallah we will
		
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			definitely talk about. So just
take a quick look here.
		
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			One of the things that I I noticed
on your Facebook is just how,
		
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			how honest you are.
		
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			And I want to use the word
uncompromising in a good way.
		
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			Because I think that you get a lot
of hate from people who get
		
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			triggered by the things that you
say, right? Why do you think
		
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			sisters Muslim women, because
often his Muslim women is sisters,
		
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			if you see their profiles, like
they're in hijab and stuff, but
		
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			they are getting deeply triggered
by your takes on motherhood on
		
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			being away from being a mother and
being a Muslim woman? Why is that?
		
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			What is going on? Well, I,
		
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			I think about it sometimes,
because I do find it fascinating.
		
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			Why is it that the stuff I say
which to be honest, to me is like
		
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			normal, maybe I'm the weird one.
But to me, what I say is nothing
		
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			revolutionary. It's nothing, you
know, odd it's nothing like out of
		
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			the ordinary or nothing out of the
norm that we should be raising our
		
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			eyebrows at. But I get a lot of
stuff, as you said, a lot of hate
		
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			a lot of people trigger a lot of
people just like clutching their
		
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			pearls. Like I just can't believe
she said that. And in my mind. I'm
		
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			like said what? You know, but I
think I think my my thought one of
		
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			my thoughts is that it's, it's a
product of the times that we live
		
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			in, to be honest. And it's not
only Muslim women. So I'm not
		
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			trying to direct you know,
accusations that only Muslim as
		
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			it's, it's, it's, it's the product
of our times regarding women in
		
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			general, right and including
myself. And it's something I tried
		
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			to weed out in me and I'm not free
of it. I'm not innocent of it. So
		
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			I'm not trying to point fingers at
others or anything. But I do think
		
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			that women today in the climate
that we're in the gynocentric,
		
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			gynocentric world that we're
living in, no one can tell women
		
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			the truth. That's the blunt,
honest to goodness, truth. This is
		
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			the conclusion I'm coming to based
on my experience and based on what
		
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			you see online, sometimes you can
in real life, it's not only
		
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			online, but who can tell women the
truth. I don't I think the answer
		
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			is nobody knows. Right? And I
think this is very troubling. And
		
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			it's deeply deeply concerning.
Because when a man says, oh,
		
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			sisters, you know, should do this,
this and this or try to refrain
		
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			from doing this, this and this.
That is a big
		
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			like, How dare you say anything to
women about women. You're not a
		
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			woman. You need to shut your mouth
		
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			You need to stay in your lane,
take several seats, things that
		
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			take several seats back, you need
to really just like step back and
		
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			think about what you've done.
Because you're addressing women,
		
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			how dare you, you're a man, you
have no conversation. And then if
		
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			a woman tries to tell women, her
fellow women, her sisters, you
		
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			know, this is what Islam says, or
this is what we should do or not
		
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			do.
		
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			It's like, No, you are self hating
woman. What about the men? Like,
		
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			why are you addressing the women?
Is it all on the women? Why are
		
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			you not talking to the men, so men
cannot talk to women, women cannot
		
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			talk to women. And so now who can
talk to women? cannula? Wow, it's
		
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			so true. But before we get down
too far, I want to just pull you
		
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			up on that phrase that you use
that that term that you used
		
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			gynocentric, right? Could you
explain for people who have never
		
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			heard that before? Or who don't
know what it means? What do you
		
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			mean by a gynocentric? World?
Well, it's basically a world that
		
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			is catering to and built around
the sensitivities of women. This
		
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			is how I define it at least. But
this is how it truly seems to me,
		
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			this is my perception of
everything that you know that the
		
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			world around us every all the
interactions that we see online
		
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			people's words and actions and
people's words and actions in real
		
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			life. And it's basically women.
		
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			Because of the influence of
feminism, because of the influence
		
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			of many, many institutions,
actually, and this is something
		
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			this is literally the topic of my
first session in child law for
		
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			wife School, which was a few days
I've been prepping, so I think
		
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			Shala love it. I love it. But you
know, there's so many institutions
		
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			and
		
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			resources and environments that
create this climate, they kind of
		
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			craft, they've crafted a climate
that we're in now, where basically
		
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			women are goddesses and stuff for
a lot of money. But in non Muslim
		
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			terms, you're a queen, you're a
goddess, you hear that? And no one
		
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			can tell you otherwise. And you
are perfect. Just Just the way you
		
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			are. And some people refer to this
as the women are wonderful
		
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			effects. Women, right? Women are
just wonderful, right? Just as you
		
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			are. You're amazing. There's so
many songs, there's so many books
		
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			and things. affirm these Yes.
		
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			But their delusions, no one can
tell you the truth, where they say
		
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			what's really interesting to me is
how we've got Muslim versions of
		
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			those books, right? Muslim girls
rise, if we could use the word
		
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			magic, I know people we say Muslim
girl magic, because it sounds
		
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			really good, doesn't it? That's
actually a really good one. But
		
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			you know, no one's really gonna do
that. But Muslim girls rise,
		
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			powerful Muslim women, you know,
all of this. We have it too, don't
		
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			we at the moment? SubhanAllah. All
right. So we're not immune. We
		
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			live in a centric world. And we've
been influenced by it's seeped
		
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			into our psyche. So you mean it's
not a patriarchy? Like we keep
		
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			hearing? What's happening here?
Well, okay, the patriarchy I don't
		
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			I don't deny the patriarchy or the
existence of patriarchal
		
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			societies, throughout human
history throughout, you know,
		
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			across space and time, I deny the
fact that it's negative. Why is it
		
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			a negative thing? Why is it a bad
thing? Well, this is the this is
		
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			the interesting thing, because my
son is doing sociology at the
		
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			moment. He's studying sociology.
So he came to me in the kitchen
		
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			today, and he said, Oh, we were
just covering three different
		
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			types of feminism. So I said,
Okay, tell me about them. So he
		
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			said, Well, there's what would you
say there's radical feminism,
		
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			there's liberal feminism, and then
there's Marxist feminism, right?
		
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			So sort of what's the difference
between them? So what was
		
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			interesting to me was the the
radical feminist view that the
		
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			problem is men. The problem is men
and maleness, and by extension,
		
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			patriarchy, the patriarchal
society, patriarchal structures,
		
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			and in fact, the whole society
that we live in today, with its
		
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			hierarchy with its dominance, you
know, and all of those things is a
		
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			reflection of masculinity. And
that is why the system is broken,
		
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			right? And if you think about it,
subhanAllah like you see echoes of
		
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			this i i Now since since I kind of
washed myself free of woke ism and
		
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			took the red pill, haha, I can now
hear it. I can hear when somebody
		
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			has, has has has that kind of
conditioning. Because they they
		
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			relate everything they believe
that the system is
		
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			across the board is oppressive. Is
is bad is oppressive is rotten to
		
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			the core. And if women were in
charge, we would do better. We
		
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			would everything will be better if
women were in charge. Is that is
		
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			that is that kind of accurate?
Would you say for people who are
		
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			like on that? Yes, I completely
agree. I see it too. It's not just
		
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			your name. I see the same trends
and the same patterns in women
		
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			that I know. And this is not women
online. This is not hearsay. For
		
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			me. This is literally
conversations that I have with
		
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			people in my life very some very
close to me. And some
		
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			acquaintances some friends and you
know some people within even my
		
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			family or my extended family. This
is actually
		
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			An issue that's very close to my
heart. It's near and dear, it's
		
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			not, you know, because I think
sometimes when I write online on
		
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			these things, or give examples,
sometimes people are like, who
		
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			even does that? Who even says
these things, but you are so far
		
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			fetched and US history? You know,
and I'm like making stuff up.
		
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			Yeah, exactly. And what I can't
say I wish I could say, but I
		
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			wait, what I can't tell them is,
this is one of my siblings. And we
		
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			had this conversation yesterday,
I'm not making things up. This is
		
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			or this is a good friend that I
grew up with, or this is someone
		
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			I've known for 20 years. And we
had this conversation face to
		
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			face, not on the phone, not I
didn't read this somewhere, I post
		
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			somewhere. Exactly. So I'm writing
a post, but I can't tell you who
		
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			it is. But it's not I did not make
this person up. And I didn't make
		
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			this conversation up. And in fact,
you are, if you've been, you know,
		
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			coming to LA, you're blessed
enough not to be dealing with
		
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			people like this are surrounded by
these very scary and very
		
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			dangerous ideas. That's good for
you. But not all of us live in
		
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			that reality. Some of us live in
this world where women are
		
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			incredibly surprised some women
not again, I want to be careful,
		
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			not all women, not you know,
everywhere. And you know, not
		
00:11:05 --> 00:11:09
			everyone, but certain women
because of succumbing to certain
		
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			very specific influences and
agendas have have been influenced.
		
00:11:12 --> 00:11:15
			And this is how they talk. Like
I'll tell you, I'll tell you one
		
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			thing, one of the scariest
conversations that I've had with a
		
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			person very close to me, was when
I
		
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			it's the person who's very close
to me, like a sister, like a very
		
00:11:25 --> 00:11:30
			dear year. And she I told her once
Hey, you know what, I just read an
		
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			article that's deeply disturbing.
And I wanted her to like, share in
		
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			my shock over.
		
00:11:36 --> 00:11:40
			So I told her, I read this
article, like this newspaper clip,
		
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			where basically it's a woman who I
think she was Egyptian, most of
		
00:11:43 --> 00:11:44
			the year of the knife was.
		
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			But she was an Egyptian woman who
was married to this man. And for
		
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			some reason, she had some issues,
and she ended up killing him,
		
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			decapitating him, she cut off his
head. And then she chopped off his
		
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			genitalia. And she likes, she
stuffed it in the freezer. This is
		
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			like Jeffrey Dahmer type stuff.
That's exactly what I was
		
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			thinking, Wow.
		
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			This is psychopathic behavior. And
so guess what this girl says that
		
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			I'm having this face to face
conversation with in my kitchen.
		
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			So I'm like, you know, isn't that
so? disturbing? Aren't you just
		
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			shocked or appalled? I was
appalled. And she looked at me
		
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			dead, you know, making eye
contact. She looked at me dead in
		
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			the eyes. And she said, he must
have done something to her. You to
		
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			deserve it. He probably deserve
it. He got what's coming to him?
		
00:12:30 --> 00:12:34
			Because no woman would do that for
no reason. So what was the what
		
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			did he do? And I was like, I had
to pick my jaw up off the floor,
		
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			because I couldn't believe what I
was hearing. Because if you were
		
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			to flip the script, and we were
talking about a man, completely
		
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			unacceptable, completely
unacceptable victim shaming,
		
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			victim blaming, you know, it's no,
it's definitely a no, yeah,
		
00:12:53 --> 00:12:55
			exactly. But this is the kind of
stuff that women are allowed to
		
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			get away with, we're allowed to
say that, and like not bat an eye
		
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			when that we. And I just looked at
her, like, horrified, not just an
		
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			article, but now I'm horrified at
this reaction from her. And she
		
00:13:05 --> 00:13:09
			just looked at me like what, what
I say? Well, I think that's one of
		
00:13:09 --> 00:13:15
			the things I noticed, in in this
current climate is
		
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			different levels of distaste, when
it comes to men, so there's
		
00:13:22 --> 00:13:31
			contempt, there's disdain, there's
suspicion, there's hatred, there's
		
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			almost this, this, this, this,
this characterization of men as
		
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			the enemy, right? They're always
wrong. They're always the
		
00:13:41 --> 00:13:46
			oppressors. They are always to
blame for whatever the situation,
		
00:13:46 --> 00:13:51
			whatever has happened, and they
are never worthy of respect. And
		
00:13:51 --> 00:13:55
			they're never worthy of empathy,
unless they are behaving in a way
		
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			that we deem is correct and
suitable for a man to behave.
		
00:14:01 --> 00:14:02
			What's going on with that?
		
00:14:03 --> 00:14:08
			I mean, honestly, I think women
are known for being very, for
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:12
			having deep empathy. And this is a
beautiful feminine trait that I
		
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			agree most women do have lots of
empathy. We sympathize very easily
		
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			with others and we're sensitive to
not just our own pain, but the
		
00:14:20 --> 00:14:23
			pain of other people. So we have
that ability to empathize, which
		
00:14:23 --> 00:14:25
			is beautiful. I think that's
beautiful and it's it is a
		
00:14:25 --> 00:14:30
			feminine trait. I think we excel
at over men for example, who maybe
		
00:14:31 --> 00:14:33
			they empathize, but maybe not to
the same extent.
		
00:14:34 --> 00:14:36
			Yours the big but in the times
that we live in.
		
00:14:38 --> 00:14:42
			Women's empathy has been
railroaded to only good very
		
00:14:42 --> 00:14:47
			specific groups, mainly other
women, and only, not even all
		
00:14:47 --> 00:14:51
			other women, only women who think
the feminist way the right way to
		
00:14:51 --> 00:14:54
			think right. We exclude from our
feminine sympathy and empathy. We
		
00:14:54 --> 00:14:58
			exclude most men because they're
toxic and patriarchal and the
		
00:14:58 --> 00:15:00
			enemy, but also exclude some
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:03
			Women. Yeah. Because they are self
hating. Yeah.
		
00:15:06 --> 00:15:08
			I've been called that you've been
called that. Yeah.
		
00:15:09 --> 00:15:12
			We are the pygmy club. We love it.
Yeah. What's it called? Pick Me
		
00:15:12 --> 00:15:14
			nation. Yeah, kick me out.
		
00:15:16 --> 00:15:19
			Because I've already been kicked
out. I'm not, you know, so
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24
			it's already happened. You're too
late. You should have called me
		
00:15:24 --> 00:15:27
			that before I got hashtag picked.
Okay, get it right.
		
00:15:28 --> 00:15:32
			That's exactly it. So you know, so
I think women's empathy is just
		
00:15:32 --> 00:15:38
			like it's not it's been limited,
and it's been deformed more into
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:42
			this, like selective empathy.
Would you say that that women's
		
00:15:42 --> 00:15:46
			sympathy and empathy and maybe
compassion? Do you think that the
		
00:15:46 --> 00:15:50
			current kind of I don't know
whether the viewers on my channel
		
00:15:50 --> 00:15:53
			will understand what I mean when I
say so for woke politics? Right.
		
00:15:54 --> 00:15:59
			But do you think that because I
see women, emoting and empathizing
		
00:15:59 --> 00:16:04
			with other people, not just women,
but other minorities or people who
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:09
			are perceived as the oppressed?
Right, the underdog, right? Do you
		
00:16:09 --> 00:16:12
			think that that is also where our
empathy is being pushed towards as
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:15
			well, because I see a lot of women
making that like, they are the
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:20
			majority who are speaking on
behalf of whoever that behalf of
		
00:16:20 --> 00:16:25
			is some kind of marginalized group
oppressed group. You know, what,
		
00:16:25 --> 00:16:27
			what are your thoughts on that?
Right, and I think basically,
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:31
			women are good at empathizing with
the victim. Now, this is us, it
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:35
			says the victim, right? We have
this concept, even in the kind of
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:39
			current kind of dominant
mainstream culture like, you know,
		
00:16:39 --> 00:16:42
			victim blaming, don't like when
the victim things like that. So we
		
00:16:42 --> 00:16:46
			liked this idea of the victim. And
normally, I'm not saying that this
		
00:16:46 --> 00:16:49
			is not true. There are no victims,
Forestar victims, and things
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:52
			happen and some people are truly
oppressed, and they've been
		
00:16:52 --> 00:16:55
			totally wrong than they are
actually victims. So any of that,
		
00:16:55 --> 00:16:59
			but the bad thing is, in our day
and age, we have a victim problem.
		
00:16:59 --> 00:17:01
			We have like a victim complex or
victims.
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:06
			Identity that this is it. That's
it the victim identity, it's like
		
00:17:06 --> 00:17:09
			a crown that you put on, right?
Yeah, where I was gonna say it's
		
00:17:09 --> 00:17:11
			like a cloak that you wear on
yours is even better. It's like a
		
00:17:11 --> 00:17:14
			crown that you put on your head,
because it gives you certain
		
00:17:14 --> 00:17:18
			status. It's like, yes, the victim
status which is furs upon you.
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:22
			Yes, sir. In privileges and
certain, like, Oh, and this is
		
00:17:22 --> 00:17:25
			this is the thing. So the what is
the opposite of a victim? From
		
00:17:25 --> 00:17:30
			what I can tell? It's this idea of
privilege. Yeah, the privileged
		
00:17:30 --> 00:17:33
			have to be quiet, they have to
take a step back, they have to
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:36
			stay in their lane, they have to
just like not have anything to
		
00:17:36 --> 00:17:39
			say, because your privilege should
shut you up. You're privileged,
		
00:17:39 --> 00:17:42
			you have no room, there's no space
for you in this conversation. You
		
00:17:43 --> 00:17:47
			need to sit down because you're so
considered privileged men,
		
00:17:47 --> 00:17:52
			primarily men most and
interestingly enough men, straight
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:58
			men, as a whole. Yeah, as a whole
as this monolithic group, straight
		
00:17:58 --> 00:18:03
			men as specifically straight white
men. They are definitely sort of
		
00:18:03 --> 00:18:07
			enemy number one, I would say But
men can also all join that even if
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:09
			the other races as long as they're
straight, they can be in that
		
00:18:09 --> 00:18:13
			group to go on in Muslim and
Muslim conversations. It's that
		
00:18:13 --> 00:18:16
			translates to straight like
heterosexual Muslim men, which are
		
00:18:16 --> 00:18:20
			mostly Muslim men. So that's,
that's me. Number one. That's like
		
00:18:20 --> 00:18:22
			the most privileges like you need
to really but no one wants to hear
		
00:18:22 --> 00:18:26
			what you have to say you have
nothing. Okay? Yeah, that's,
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:29
			that's the privileged group. And
then the victim group on the other
		
00:18:29 --> 00:18:33
			side of that, in contrast, we have
the victim, who has all the things
		
00:18:33 --> 00:18:37
			in the world to say, and they get
to just unload, and just like,
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:41
			intense, like, kind of like word
vomit on everyone else in the
		
00:18:41 --> 00:18:44
			public space, because they've been
wronged. And they need to, you
		
00:18:44 --> 00:18:47
			know, count for you and list for
you all the different ways that
		
00:18:47 --> 00:18:51
			the privilege group has stomped on
their neck. And, yeah, this whole
		
00:18:51 --> 00:18:55
			is this gigantic, you know, do you
think that is? I'm trying to kind
		
00:18:55 --> 00:19:00
			of connect dots here. So women in
general, we emote, right, we
		
00:19:00 --> 00:19:05
			empathize, we sympathize, I would
say that we are more emotionally
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:09
			driven. Would you agree with that,
as in our thinking is impacted by
		
00:19:09 --> 00:19:13
			the way we feel? So the way that
we will view a situation is
		
00:19:13 --> 00:19:16
			heavily influenced by emotionally
how we're how we are viewing?
		
00:19:16 --> 00:19:20
			Would you agree with that?
Absolutely. 100% Yes. So then, of
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:26
			course, that makes sense. If you
know, if if we're emotion and if
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:28
			we're emotional, and we're being
led by our emotions, then of
		
00:19:28 --> 00:19:31
			course, our empathy and sympathy
is going to be with the one we
		
00:19:31 --> 00:19:35
			think is wronged. Right? And the
one that is perceived as wronged,
		
00:19:36 --> 00:19:39
			obviously, is in their feelings
too. Right? Most of the time, it's
		
00:19:39 --> 00:19:43
			a feeling it's a feeling of being
victimized. It's the feeling of
		
00:19:43 --> 00:19:47
			being humiliated or marginalized
or oppressed. Right. And so now
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:51
			you've got this lovely feeling
soup going on. Right? Everything's
		
00:19:51 --> 00:19:57
			feelings. And I think what what
gets completely sidelined in this
		
00:19:57 --> 00:19:59
			festival of feelings is actual
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:05
			Facts and, and logic, right and we
rational and irrational reality.
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:09
			Right? And and where you see that
the most and I've been observing
		
00:20:09 --> 00:20:13
			this from the outside, I'm not
American. Thank God hamdulillah
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:18
			I'm so pleased because it's so
it's so bipartisan right in the
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:23
			US. And I see this happening so
much now where you have something
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:27
			like, like BLM, for example,
right? And George Floyd, and these
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:31
			cops like the when there's a
police killing, and it's a huge
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:34
			festival of feelings, right? And
of course, now it's a corporate
		
00:20:34 --> 00:20:36
			sponsored festival of feelings,
right? Because all the
		
00:20:36 --> 00:20:40
			corporations feel they have to put
money in and virtue signal and let
		
00:20:40 --> 00:20:43
			everyone know, like, how connected
they are, and all that kind of
		
00:20:43 --> 00:20:46
			stuff. And you know, how
progressive they are, and all that
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:52
			stuff, however, where it becomes
untenable and starts to unravel,
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:59
			is when people start to bring
statistics and facts and, and data
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:05
			that just pushes the story over.
It's like, well, yeah, okay, it
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:08
			looks like that. And you guys are
all feeling some kind of way. But
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:12
			the reality is, this is what
happened, or this is what's
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:16
			happening, or these are the
numbers, it's not the what's being
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:20
			created by this feverish kind of
imagination. These are the facts.
		
00:21:21 --> 00:21:25
			And it's, it's, it's a very, it's
a stark contrast this, I can't get
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:28
			over it. It's, I think, well, like
everybody has their own
		
00:21:28 --> 00:21:32
			perspective. And which is
understandable, because we see
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:35
			things from how we see, when we
see things from where we're
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:38
			standing, we could be looking at
the same event, like the central
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:41
			event in the middle, and I'm
standing on this side, and I see
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:43
			it from my angle, and you're
standing opposite me, you're
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:46
			seeing it from your angle, and
that's okay. And people on the
		
00:21:46 --> 00:21:48
			left and the right, they're seeing
things from wherever they're
		
00:21:48 --> 00:21:52
			standing. So that's there's
nothing specifically wrong with
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:55
			that. But the bad thing is, when
we and then you know, from where
		
00:21:55 --> 00:21:59
			we're standing, we see things in a
certain way from our angle. And
		
00:21:59 --> 00:22:03
			then we have certain feelings that
come up about this. But the bad
		
00:22:03 --> 00:22:07
			thing is when we start making laws
or big decisions, or like enacting
		
00:22:07 --> 00:22:11
			things in reality, that are
limited to only this perspective
		
00:22:11 --> 00:22:15
			that I have, and the feeling I
have about it, if if we can't rise
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:19
			above that to try to accommodate
Okay, well, this is my
		
00:22:19 --> 00:22:22
			perspective, this is what I saw
when you see and what did you see
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:25
			what you know what reality and as
Muslims, it's not just what you
		
00:22:25 --> 00:22:29
			see and what he sees, or what she
sees is what Allah tells us, what
		
00:22:29 --> 00:22:32
			does Allah because Allah You know,
so kind of with Allah this is the
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:36
			reality of Allah is the reality he
tells us things as they are and we
		
00:22:36 --> 00:22:40
			can feel whatever we feel about it
but yeah, look many Allah Allah
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:43
			has the hope. Mala gives us you
know, actual commands and Allah
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:47
			gives us guidance and how what to
do in what situation what is
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:50
			actually just what is actually
fair, because our feelings are
		
00:22:50 --> 00:22:53
			fine their feelings, and we're
entitled to our feelings, but they
		
00:22:53 --> 00:22:55
			are not always just they're not
always fair, because they don't
		
00:22:55 --> 00:23:00
			take into account everybody and
there, we see our pain, but I
		
00:23:00 --> 00:23:03
			don't see you know, for example,
as a Muslim woman, I see Muslim
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:07
			women's pain. And I extend that to
i that courtesy I extend it to my
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:11
			sister on my left and on my right,
because I know the pain that I go
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:13
			through. So I'm like, well, she
does too. And she does too, but I
		
00:23:13 --> 00:23:16
			don't know the pain that men go
through. So I in my limited
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:21
			feelings kind of driven state of
emotion. I just assumed they have
		
00:23:21 --> 00:23:25
			no PII. But I just don't know what
it is. So I just assumed this but
		
00:23:25 --> 00:23:29
			it exists. Yeah. It's it's as
you're saying, you know, it's kind
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:34
			of this focus on seeing the world
only through your own lens. And
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:38
			and not even accepting that okay,
but that is just your lens. Okay?
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:41
			It's not the end of this whole my
truths. Oh, this is my truth. And
		
00:23:41 --> 00:23:46
			this is your truth. I have no idea
how much I hate I hate that word.
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:48
			I like women love it. Women your
		
00:23:49 --> 00:23:51
			mind before the word truth. It's
		
00:23:52 --> 00:23:56
			It's not them. It's done. But this
is this kind of revenue, this
		
00:23:56 --> 00:24:00
			revolving around the self, right,
that I wanted to ask to touch on.
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:04
			Because I remember when you came
for the, the secrets of success,
		
00:24:04 --> 00:24:08
			successful wives conference, we
had a really good live stream on
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:12
			feminism, right? And you mentioned
this, this this, I don't know
		
00:24:12 --> 00:24:16
			whether it was a theory at the
time. But you mentioned, you know,
		
00:24:16 --> 00:24:21
			the role of narcissism in the
feminist worldview in a sort of
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:24
			the gynocentric order as a whole.
Can you just go into that a bit
		
00:24:24 --> 00:24:27
			more Inshallah, because I find it
really fascinating. I've read more
		
00:24:27 --> 00:24:30
			of your stuff since then, on this
issue, but break it down, because
		
00:24:30 --> 00:24:34
			we only ever hear about narcissism
really about men, usually your
		
00:24:34 --> 00:24:38
			narcissistic husbands. Okay, what
were you hearing about, but what's
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:42
			your take on it? Yes, absolutely.
So basically, this is an idea that
		
00:24:42 --> 00:24:45
			I had, I was not thinking about
feminism at the time, but I was
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:47
			just, you know, dealing with some
things and kind of observing some
		
00:24:47 --> 00:24:51
			people and some interactions that
I had seen. And I was started
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:54
			really thinking a lot about
narcissism, which again, I'm not
		
00:24:54 --> 00:24:57
			promoting I should put this
disclaimer out there before people
		
00:24:57 --> 00:24:59
			jump to conclusions. I am not
endorsing
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:03
			or, you know, applauding the field
of psychology as a whole, like
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:07
			secular liberal psychology that
has its own messes and problems,
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:11
			but certain things, you know, it's
it's observable reality, you can
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:14
			tell you can see. And you know,
there are certain ways of kind of
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:17
			helping ourselves understand why
people act the way that they do.
		
00:25:17 --> 00:25:21
			So, basically, I started reading
up on and watching videos and
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:25
			doing research on this idea of
narcissism, and what it means and
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:28
			the manifestations of narcissism.
And basically, for people who
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:32
			aren't familiar, narcissism is
just a pathology of the self. It's
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:36
			like a second, when a person has a
fractured sense of self, stemming
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38
			from various different things.
Sometimes it goes back to
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:41
			childhood, often it goes back to
childhood and parenting or lack of
		
00:25:41 --> 00:25:45
			gearing. So a person can grow up
with a fractured sense of self
		
00:25:45 --> 00:25:49
			very fragile understanding of who
they are, and a lot of insecurity,
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:55
			right. So basically, what happens
is narcissists have a kind of a
		
00:25:55 --> 00:25:58
			grouping a cluster of Hallmark
features, that there's different
		
00:25:58 --> 00:26:01
			kinds of narcissism and all that.
But just in general, this idea of
		
00:26:01 --> 00:26:05
			the narcissist is a person who is
not only selfish, but because
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:07
			that's like on the surface, it
just seems like someone.
		
00:26:08 --> 00:26:12
			But it's actually it's when you
think of like as a pathology. This
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:15
			is what people have said,
basically, it is a person who has
		
00:26:15 --> 00:26:18
			an exaggerated sense of self
importance to almost over
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:24
			compensate for their own actual
identity crisis and real real
		
00:26:24 --> 00:26:27
			insecurity about who they are and
if they're worth anything. So then
		
00:26:27 --> 00:26:30
			to compensate what they do is they
overcompensate, and then they
		
00:26:30 --> 00:26:35
			project this very grandiose over
exaggerated sense of self
		
00:26:35 --> 00:26:40
			importance. Like I am this look at
me, I'm the greatest I, you know,
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:43
			like there's different kinds of
narcissists. And me like yes,
		
00:26:43 --> 00:26:50
			Queen. That is exactly, I deserve
this. And this I'm in. I'm worth
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:54
			it. Exactly, exactly. So the next
piece of it after the first part
		
00:26:54 --> 00:26:58
			is an exaggerated sense of self
importance. Number two is an
		
00:26:58 --> 00:27:03
			entitlement, a certain attitude,
you entitled to certain things I
		
00:27:03 --> 00:27:06
			deserve is this and this, this is
how I deserve to be treated as the
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:10
			kind of man I deserve to be with.
This is what this is what you owe
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:15
			me, right? People are indebted to
me. Why? Because I deserve it. I'm
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:19
			entitled, you owe me what you owe
me because and I don't owe you
		
00:27:19 --> 00:27:22
			anything because who's the victim
here? Like the narcissist is both
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:26
			grandiose, like I owe this amazing
person. I'm such a big deal. But
		
00:27:26 --> 00:27:29
			also, I'm the injured victim. I'm
the injured party. I'm the wronged
		
00:27:29 --> 00:27:32
			party. But you need to say I need
reparations. Do you know what I
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:37
			mean? Yeah, so number two is
entitlement number three is a lack
		
00:27:37 --> 00:27:40
			of empathy. For others. The
narcissist in general tends to
		
00:27:40 --> 00:27:42
			have a glaring
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45
			lack of empathy for other people
and the pain of other people a
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:48
			sensitivity to what they might be
feeling. So a narcissist will do
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:51
			or say things without thinking
without a second thought about how
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:55
			it might make the other person
feel while randomly in a weird
		
00:27:55 --> 00:27:59
			twist, being hypersensitive
themselves, they're hypersensitive
		
00:27:59 --> 00:28:03
			to criticism, sensitive to how
they might affect other people and
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:07
			how they make other people feel.
So and number four is a victim
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:12
			complex. This is all stuff we just
touched on now. Being a victim, I
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:16
			am a victim. I'm constantly
wronged. I'm just so oppressed,
		
00:28:16 --> 00:28:20
			like everybody's out to get me the
world. The odds are stacked
		
00:28:20 --> 00:28:21
			against me.
		
00:28:22 --> 00:28:24
			People have had it out for me from
day one.
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:30
			Victim complex, and all the
failures that they do. They are
		
00:28:30 --> 00:28:33
			will see this I'm a victim I've
tried to go to you know, I tried
		
00:28:33 --> 00:28:36
			to get a job and I was fired. I'm
a victim. It can't be me.
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:40
			Or I tried to go to school and I
flunked out. It wasn't me. It's so
		
00:28:40 --> 00:28:43
			there's no self accountability.
There is no accountability.
		
00:28:43 --> 00:28:46
			There's no responsibility for
personal actions. It's always you
		
00:28:46 --> 00:28:49
			know, outward, it's like I'm a
victim, right? And the fifth part
		
00:28:49 --> 00:28:51
			that these things are all kind of
related as you'll see. But the
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:56
			fifth kind of hallmark feature is
this is a narcissist is a person
		
00:28:57 --> 00:29:01
			who requires it convenient
scapegoat, a scapegoat someone you
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:05
			can pin all your problems on and
blame things for and it's,
		
00:29:06 --> 00:29:08
			you know, it's just constantly
getting in your way constantly
		
00:29:08 --> 00:29:12
			sabotaging you, and they are the
reason for your failures, not you
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:15
			because it can never be because
you don't know how to handle
		
00:29:15 --> 00:29:19
			because basically, this idea of
this fragile sense of self is too
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:22
			fragile to take on any sort of
accountability or responsibility.
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:25
			Right? Right. So it has to be but
then certain problems arise. So
		
00:29:25 --> 00:29:29
			how do we solve that problem?
Well, it has to be somebody's
		
00:29:29 --> 00:29:33
			fault. It sure can't be my fault.
So it's got to be your your this.
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:37
			So you can work
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:41
			on me. What's what's happening
here? Do you think that society
		
00:29:41 --> 00:29:44
			and our conditioning is turning
women into narcissists will lie?
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:47
			That is actually what I think?
Yes, I do. And I think it's maybe
		
00:29:47 --> 00:29:52
			it's an unconventional claim to
make or might be a bold statement,
		
00:29:52 --> 00:29:55
			but I genuinely think based on
things I've seen in people I've
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:59
			interacted with some women, some
women have fallen for
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:02
			or it's a certain agenda and it
kind of pulls you along for the
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:06
			ride. And if you're not careful,
you will be turned into this very
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:10
			entitled narcissist who just is a
taker, who feels entitled to
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:13
			things who thinks of herself
constantly as the victim
		
00:30:13 --> 00:30:16
			constantly of the patriarchy, the
patriarchy is usually the
		
00:30:16 --> 00:30:20
			scapegoat, and idle, you have very
little empathy. And you have this
		
00:30:20 --> 00:30:24
			exaggerated sense of who you are
and your importance, and you're
		
00:30:24 --> 00:30:29
			Queen slay queen, you know, slay
the patriarchy, like, so these are
		
00:30:29 --> 00:30:33
			things that are very damaging, and
no human being wants to deal with
		
00:30:33 --> 00:30:38
			a narcissist, whether male or
female, but women are trained, you
		
00:30:38 --> 00:30:40
			know, they're not careful, they
get trained in this western
		
00:30:40 --> 00:30:45
			secular feminist system, they get
trained to be like this. So who
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:52
			wants to deal with? Right? Yeah.
100% There are some this as you're
		
00:30:52 --> 00:30:53
			giving us, these little,
		
00:30:55 --> 00:30:59
			I don't know, if sort of slogans,
it's reminding you of certain
		
00:30:59 --> 00:31:04
			Instagram accounts that I used to
follow. That are, they're toxic.
		
00:31:04 --> 00:31:09
			They really, really, really are
toxic. I'll start naming them, I
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:14
			want to find subs, I can read them
to you because I just the level of
		
00:31:16 --> 00:31:21
			the lack of self awareness, I
think, and the lack of humility is
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:25
			is what what stands out the most,
you know, it's it's complete
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:30
			entitlement. You know, you like
you said, they're the center of
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:34
			the universe, right? You're the
center of the universe. Everything
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:38
			you do is the best for the best.
And anybody who stands in your way
		
00:31:38 --> 00:31:42
			basically is just a hater. And,
you know, it's it's just, it's
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:46
			crazy. To me, it's really crazy.
And the unfortunate thing is that
		
00:31:47 --> 00:31:51
			if you imbibe all those messages,
you're actually not a very
		
00:31:51 --> 00:31:56
			pleasant person to be around. And
while your girlfriends might find
		
00:31:56 --> 00:32:01
			it fun and cute, and you're sassy,
and they're like, Yes, girl that's
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:03
			right girl, I see you know, you
deserve that.
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:08
			Ultimately, you don't want to
settle down with your girlfriends.
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:13
			Right? Many of us do want actually
a partner but what I see happening
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:14
			with specially this,
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:21
			especially this latest brand of
very in your face, loud and proud,
		
00:32:21 --> 00:32:26
			obnoxious feminist feminist
confidence is that it makes you
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:32
			utterly repulsive to men. It's
they're utterly repulsed by it.
		
00:32:32 --> 00:32:37
			Right? I don't know any man who
has said, yeah, that's that's
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:41
			that's what I'm about. Yeah, that
kind of entitled in your face,
		
00:32:41 --> 00:32:45
			finger snapping attitude having
sassy girl. Yeah, that's my girl.
		
00:32:45 --> 00:32:48
			What do you think? Well, you know
what, you know what those men will
		
00:32:48 --> 00:32:54
			be accused of though. They're
intimidated. They can? Cool. Why
		
00:32:54 --> 00:32:57
			are men intimidated by strong
women? And what I always want to
		
00:32:57 --> 00:32:59
			say is No, sweetie, they're not
intimidated by you or your
		
00:32:59 --> 00:33:03
			strength. They're repulsed by you
and your obnoxiousness. That's,
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:04
			that's what it is.
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:09
			Check this one out. So did you
ever hear the term a well behaved
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:13
			man? I've never, ever heard it.
It's always women who are well
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:18
			behaved girls who are well
behaved. For us. It's our turn.
		
00:33:18 --> 00:33:20
			I'm done being well behaved.
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:27
			So hang on. So now hosting the
hook is a slur personal, it was
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:31
			not followed is good manners.
Well, well, being well behaved
		
00:33:31 --> 00:33:34
			well, you're conducting yourself
well, carrying yourself well,
		
00:33:34 --> 00:33:37
			that's, that's essentially what
well behaved means. And then we're
		
00:33:37 --> 00:33:39
			done with professional follow up.
Really?
		
00:33:40 --> 00:33:43
			Yeah, it's unbelievable. I mean, a
lot of this goes against Islam and
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:48
			Islamic conduct Islamic
conceptions of what it means to be
		
00:33:48 --> 00:33:51
			a good human being not just a good
woman 100% You know, we have
		
00:33:51 --> 00:33:54
			standards for good women and good
men and what that means, but even
		
00:33:54 --> 00:33:58
			just a basic on a human level,
regardless of gender, we have
		
00:33:58 --> 00:34:02
			personal hope. We have this idea
of trying to rid ourselves of
		
00:34:02 --> 00:34:06
			kibra, Cambridge's a very big
disease of this Yeah, I'm better
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:11
			than you looking down on other
people putting above other people
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:14
			kind of putting yourself on this
pedestal. This is horrible. This
		
00:34:14 --> 00:34:17
			is dangerous. Islamically I have
another one for you. Don't worry,
		
00:34:17 --> 00:34:21
			it's related to that. I have a
limited amount of time left on
		
00:34:21 --> 00:34:24
			this planet. And I'm not going to
spend it being a watered down
		
00:34:24 --> 00:34:27
			version of myself just so people
can like me.
		
00:34:29 --> 00:34:32
			That's edgy. That is very edgy.
You know, so kind of like, it's
		
00:34:32 --> 00:34:35
			just, it's really sad. And it's
really childish. Like, as you're
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:39
			reading these off, aren't they
like very juvenile? Like this is?
		
00:34:39 --> 00:34:43
			This is like how a 13 year old
girl talks, you know? Exactly,
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:47
			exactly. And, and these are big
women. You know, the the women who
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:50
			follow these, these channels who
create these channels actually are
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:55
			women in their 30s especially the
large I think the bulk of this
		
00:34:55 --> 00:34:59
			particular channels audience is
women late 20s into their 30s
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:03
			tea's who are being sold this
whole idea of being a boss, babe,
		
00:35:03 --> 00:35:08
			right? Being a boss be being a bad
be, you know securing the bag and
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:11
			you know, no man's going to do
this and no man is going to do
		
00:35:11 --> 00:35:14
			that, you know, I'm too busy
chasing the bag to chase a man and
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:19
			all of this. This very so much
bravado, right so much bravado.
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:22
			And I want to hear your opinion on
this because I was having this
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:26
			conversation with my sons. And
they were like, Mom Stop hating on
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:29
			these these women in their 20s,
you know, who are kind of going
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:31
			through their thing like let them
have their fun holidays like, you
		
00:35:31 --> 00:35:35
			know, why are you talking about
them. And I said, You know what?
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:40
			The marketing and the spin is
really effective in the 20s. And
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:43
			in the 30s. Because these ladies
now they're in their 30s. And they
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:47
			still look young, you notice 30
year olds nowadays, it's hard to
		
00:35:47 --> 00:35:50
			tell if somebody is like 30 to 35,
they look like could be in their
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:53
			20s, right. And they've now got
their career, they've got their
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:55
			money, they've got their designer
brands, I've got all this cool
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:58
			stuff, right and traveling, having
girls trips, doing all that stuff.
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:05
			So So you know, the marketing is
great. Where you will hit a really
		
00:36:05 --> 00:36:10
			big roadblock, is when they're in
their 40s and 50s and 60s, because
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:15
			at that point, the marketers have
nothing to say, because the truth
		
00:36:15 --> 00:36:20
			of their situation becomes very
clear. Now they will come up with
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:24
			something right? They always do,
they will come up with a way to
		
00:36:24 --> 00:36:27
			spin it. So that Oh yeah, it's
okay, like you're winning at life.
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:30
			But we all knew * in the City,
what happened in * in the City,
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:34
			they sold this idea, right? That
you could be in your 30s into your
		
00:36:34 --> 00:36:38
			late 30s. And basically sleeping
around and you know, living for
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:41
			money and alcohol and all of this
stuff, but you'll still find a
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:46
			man, you know, your dream guy is
still going to snap you up. And
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:49
			you know, you're going to ride off
into the sunset. We know that's
		
00:36:49 --> 00:36:50
			not true.
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:56
			Exactly. And this is this is the
lie that's been sold to women. And
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:59
			I think it's one of the saddest
and most tragic things that have
		
00:36:59 --> 00:37:03
			happened because of feminism and
this gynocentric world. And this,
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:06
			this messaging that we're
bombarded with is as you said,
		
00:37:06 --> 00:37:12
			it's perfectly apt in your 20s,
like late teens, early 20s. Women
		
00:37:12 --> 00:37:15
			are women feel like they are very
powerful, they're at their peak.
		
00:37:15 --> 00:37:20
			And they are in fact at their peak
in terms of beauty, Youth Study
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:23
			fertility, so there are actually
it's actually biologically driven
		
00:37:23 --> 00:37:27
			or biologically rooted. So, you
know, so Pamela, I mean, this is
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:30
			the vast, vast topic, but
basically, so women are really
		
00:37:30 --> 00:37:35
			feel valuable. But what they do is
they squander it, what they do is,
		
00:37:35 --> 00:37:37
			but they don't understand that
they see it as Oh, I have to
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:42
			become empowered, I have to find
myself having my fun. Exactly, I
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:46
			find myself live my best life no
best living your best life is for
		
00:37:46 --> 00:37:48
			later on, that's in your 30s
Right, that's when you start to
		
00:37:48 --> 00:37:51
			say I'm living my best life.
Before that, it's I'm having my
		
00:37:51 --> 00:37:54
			fun hot girls summer, all of this
murder, and the hot, the hot, I'm
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:58
			trying to find myself like Are you
lost. And I think that that is
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:00
			actually there's some truth to
that these women are lost some of
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:01
			them
		
00:38:02 --> 00:38:06
			raised in a certain way, being
taught their purpose being taught
		
00:38:06 --> 00:38:10
			who their creator is, and how we
worship our Creator, what we were
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:13
			created to do, and what our roles
are in life, what our priorities
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:17
			should be, then you are lost. And
you really do have to find
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:20
			yourself because you're absolutely
lost, you don't know anything. So
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:23
			you have to go and stumble about
and wander around to find
		
00:38:23 --> 00:38:25
			yourself. But unfortunately, what
happens is you'll make a lot of
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:31
			mistakes. And you you waste a lot
of time, and a lot of resources.
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:34
			And then you hit your 30s As you
say, and then now you're starting
		
00:38:34 --> 00:38:37
			to feel a little bit anxious,
maybe mid 30s, late 30s, you start
		
00:38:37 --> 00:38:42
			to get a little bit panicky,
you're alone, life is fun, but
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:46
			it's not quite as satisfying as it
maybe had been in your 20s on
		
00:38:46 --> 00:38:50
			that. And then you're and then
you're as you're saying, you
		
00:38:50 --> 00:38:53
			become I heard it called
invisible. When women become
		
00:38:53 --> 00:38:56
			invisible. Typically older women,
men no longer pay attention to
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:59
			you, you don't get the same kind
of attention that you used to in
		
00:38:59 --> 00:39:03
			the comments section, your likes
on your Instagram selfies.
		
00:39:03 --> 00:39:06
			Everything starts to go down. And
then you look around and you say,
		
00:39:06 --> 00:39:11
			Oh, how did this happen? I'm
alone. Yeah, I'm 42 I'm alone. And
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:14
			you know, then you start to get
the cats. You get a few cats. You
		
00:39:14 --> 00:39:17
			know, it's crazy. You know, I
remember.
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:21
			I remember seeing an interview
that Jordan Peterson did, I can't
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:24
			remember what it was, who it was
with or whatever. But he was
		
00:39:24 --> 00:39:25
			talking about
		
00:39:26 --> 00:39:30
			how, as you said women were sold
this idea that the career was the
		
00:39:30 --> 00:39:35
			thing, right? self actualization
and empowerment through education
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:40
			and Korea was the thing and the
reality of it being that at the
		
00:39:40 --> 00:39:43
			end of your life, that's not what
will count.
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:50
			It's the time that you invested in
building a home and building a
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:55
			family and building a life for you
and your spouse and your children.
		
00:39:55 --> 00:39:59
			Right? That is what pays dividends
in the end right? Even if you
		
00:39:59 --> 00:40:00
			didn't
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:04
			Secure the bag, right? Because the
bag, the bag at the end of this,
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:07
			it's like, you know, people who
sacrifice themselves for a career
		
00:40:07 --> 00:40:11
			and then they get fired. Right?
Because your job can do that your
		
00:40:11 --> 00:40:14
			job can replace you any time.
Right? And he I think he, his
		
00:40:14 --> 00:40:18
			point in this was women have have
have been, it's like they're
		
00:40:18 --> 00:40:26
			trying to deprogram our biological
desire to be mothers and to build
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:31
			a nest and to like, raise like the
next generation and to establish,
		
00:40:31 --> 00:40:35
			you know, a lineage. We're being
deprogrammed. And we're being
		
00:40:35 --> 00:40:40
			reprogrammed with all of this
stuff that while it helps the
		
00:40:40 --> 00:40:45
			capitalist society to grow, and
proliferate and be this amazing
		
00:40:45 --> 00:40:50
			space of innovation and massive
wealth, and all of this leaves us
		
00:40:50 --> 00:40:55
			empty in the end, right? Everyone
really, because obviously, the
		
00:40:55 --> 00:40:57
			dunya can never fill our bellies
at the end of the day, but
		
00:40:57 --> 00:41:03
			especially especially cruelly,
women, because we are the ones who
		
00:41:03 --> 00:41:07
			trade off fertility for the Korean
men don't do that. Men, I'm not
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:10
			being told to not have children
and have careers instead, we're
		
00:41:10 --> 00:41:15
			the ones being told that Right?
Right, and I just don't know,
		
00:41:15 --> 00:41:18
			sorry, go ahead. Let you finish.
Sorry. No, no, no, no, I was just
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:21
			gonna say that this idea to me
when I learned it a few years ago,
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:24
			I didn't always know this, but it
blew my mind this idea of the
		
00:41:24 --> 00:41:28
			fertility window, right. I'd never
heard that term before. But as
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:31
			Muslims we have this kind of
intuitively or within our
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:35
			generally Muslim cultures, you
know, yes. Married at a somewhat
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:39
			of a young age kind of this is
just in our culture. Um, you know,
		
00:41:39 --> 00:41:41
			like, in general, like Arabs have
this DCS have this, Muslims tend
		
00:41:41 --> 00:41:46
			to have every single traditional
culture in the entire creation has
		
00:41:46 --> 00:41:49
			had that at some point in time,
because it doesn't make sense.
		
00:41:50 --> 00:41:54
			Even non Muslims, it's not about
religion is biological and how
		
00:41:54 --> 00:41:57
			Allah has raided us, even if
people do not believe in Allah,
		
00:41:57 --> 00:42:00
			they still it's like the reality
of the situation. fitrah is what
		
00:42:00 --> 00:42:04
			the fitrah is, you know, exactly.
That's exactly it. So. So we have
		
00:42:04 --> 00:42:08
			this idea of women getting married
earlier, and men to especially in
		
00:42:08 --> 00:42:12
			previous generations, men also
married earlier, they had a little
		
00:42:12 --> 00:42:16
			bit more time than women. And
basically what I learned was, the
		
00:42:16 --> 00:42:21
			fertility window of women is very
short. And it comes early in late
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:26
			teens or mid teens, even
biologically, till maybe late 20s,
		
00:42:26 --> 00:42:30
			or very early 30s. In that kind of
range, you're, you know, at 35
		
00:42:30 --> 00:42:33
			years old, we know it's a
geriatric pregnancy, right,
		
00:42:33 --> 00:42:36
			geriatric meaning like elderly,
because you're kind of pushing the
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:40
			limits, very, you know, end limits
of that fertility window as a
		
00:42:40 --> 00:42:43
			woman, and this is biological and
that you can't hate on it. You
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:46
			can't say it's bullying you this
is your biology telling you,
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:49
			right? So you're not a victim.
This is just how biology works.
		
00:42:49 --> 00:42:54
			And like for men, they also have a
fertility window, but it extends
		
00:42:54 --> 00:42:58
			so much for decades after the
women's fertility window ends, the
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:02
			man's fertility window is still
open, and it ends sometime in his
		
00:43:02 --> 00:43:06
			like 70s. You know, men can father
children, when women can no longer
		
00:43:06 --> 00:43:10
			bear children. So it's a very
different calculation. And I think
		
00:43:10 --> 00:43:16
			the trick that feminism has played
on modern women, is to promise
		
00:43:16 --> 00:43:20
			women that if they have, if they
have the same lifestyle as men and
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:24
			do the same actions as men, that
they will have the same outcomes
		
00:43:24 --> 00:43:28
			as men, right? Certainly false,
this is unbelievably false.
		
00:43:29 --> 00:43:32
			Because of biology, and because of
looking at your fertility window,
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:36
			you do not have the same fertility
window as a man. So he has options
		
00:43:36 --> 00:43:39
			that you don't have. And it's not
because of the patriarchy. It's
		
00:43:39 --> 00:43:42
			just how Allah created us. It's
this idea there's when I say
		
00:43:42 --> 00:43:46
			reality, right? I mean, that like
reality, but this is reality, I It
		
00:43:46 --> 00:43:49
			hurts your feelings, I'm sorry.
But you either deal with it, and
		
00:43:49 --> 00:43:52
			you with your eyes wide open,
right? And you will make informed
		
00:43:52 --> 00:43:55
			decisions to benefit you not to
benefit me or someone else or the
		
00:43:55 --> 00:43:59
			patriots to benefit yourself. You
close your eyes, like a two year
		
00:43:59 --> 00:44:02
			old and say no, no, no, I don't
see it. I refuse to it's a social
		
00:44:02 --> 00:44:06
			construct. Biology is a social
construct. And you know, this,
		
00:44:06 --> 00:44:09
			this is this is I think, I think
and I could be wrong if I am
		
00:44:09 --> 00:44:12
			please correct me you either you
or somebody or one of the viewers,
		
00:44:12 --> 00:44:12
			but
		
00:44:14 --> 00:44:17
			the critical theories, right?
Critical Race Theory, critical
		
00:44:17 --> 00:44:21
			class and all of the rest of it.
Right? The critical theories, I
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:25
			think they're specialized in
pulling things apart. Right? And,
		
00:44:25 --> 00:44:29
			and, and problematizing things. So
for example, biology, right,
		
00:44:29 --> 00:44:35
			nature versus nurture, okay, what
is truly our nature and what is
		
00:44:35 --> 00:44:38
			it's just a social construct is
something that society has put on
		
00:44:38 --> 00:44:42
			us. And the thing is, it's
interesting because even our own
		
00:44:42 --> 00:44:46
			not even not you I'm not gonna say
even having a conversation with
		
00:44:46 --> 00:44:50
			your own children, who may have
been in the school system, you
		
00:44:50 --> 00:44:53
			will find that they have imbibed
these ideas, these critical
		
00:44:53 --> 00:44:58
			theories right where they will
like if you bring an example of a
		
00:44:58 --> 00:45:00
			traditional household to them
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:03
			For example, from Islam, they'll
say that's a social construct,
		
00:45:03 --> 00:45:06
			right? It's not to do with
biology, right? Why should it be
		
00:45:06 --> 00:45:09
			the man who does this? And the
woman who does that? And if you
		
00:45:09 --> 00:45:13
			try to say biological, it's like,
no, no, no, it's cultural. It's a
		
00:45:13 --> 00:45:16
			social construct. It's, you know,
it's, it's, it's made up
		
00:45:16 --> 00:45:20
			basically, right? It has no
bearing. And we can change our
		
00:45:20 --> 00:45:25
			biology, we can change the way
we're wired. And I remember having
		
00:45:25 --> 00:45:28
			this argument with my son, and he
was saying, like, if it enough
		
00:45:28 --> 00:45:33
			generations, embrace a certain
thing, you can rewire human beings
		
00:45:33 --> 00:45:37
			to actually see things
differently, right. And at the
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:42
			time, I argued with him, but when
I see these Gen Z's and the ideas
		
00:45:42 --> 00:45:47
			that they hold about gender, for
example, right, gender expression,
		
00:45:47 --> 00:45:50
			gender identity, gender fluidity
and all of this.
		
00:45:51 --> 00:45:56
			I wonder whether we are being
rewired? Actually it's impossible.
		
00:45:56 --> 00:46:00
			Nyima, it's impossible. I firmly
believe this and I know that this
		
00:46:00 --> 00:46:02
			is gonna sound radical in our day
and age of like, everything is
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:06
			fluid and your non binary you are
how you feel. How do you feel
		
00:46:06 --> 00:46:09
			today? Do you feel male or female
today? You know, it this is
		
00:46:09 --> 00:46:13
			craziness and I don't believe it
for a second. The person who
		
00:46:13 --> 00:46:17
			coined who coined the term gender
identity was a man a very sick,
		
00:46:17 --> 00:46:21
			sick, perverted, named John money.
Are you familiar with him? I am
		
00:46:21 --> 00:46:25
			very familiar. I have his book or
not his book. I have the book.
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:28
			It's called as nature made him the
boys.
		
00:46:30 --> 00:46:33
			I haven't I haven't finished it
yet because I am very easily
		
00:46:33 --> 00:46:36
			distracted and I have a lot of
stuff going on. But I started it
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:39
			and it's absolutely fascinating,
but it's basically this book is
		
00:46:39 --> 00:46:47
			the story of a little boy. Reimer
Joshua Rhymer No, Brian? Yeah, no,
		
00:46:47 --> 00:46:50
			Bruce, Bruce and Brian. Yeah, I
might there were two of them when
		
00:46:50 --> 00:46:53
			they were twins went there. When
boys Yes, twin boys from Canada
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:57
			who were born healthy male babies.
You know, everything is normal
		
00:46:57 --> 00:47:00
			everything. Do you mean that they
were assigned male at birth? Is
		
00:47:00 --> 00:47:04
			that what you mean? The doctors,
the doctors assigned male at
		
00:47:04 --> 00:47:06
			birth? Okay. Those are called
doctors.
		
00:47:07 --> 00:47:10
			So, could they even do such a
thing? Like, where would they get
		
00:47:10 --> 00:47:13
			evidence for such a thing? All
right, anyway, we will never know.
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:17
			You know, it's just it's you know,
so patriarchy. So basically, these
		
00:47:17 --> 00:47:20
			two male babies, they were
everything is normal. When they
		
00:47:20 --> 00:47:23
			were eight months old, their
parents wanted to circumcise them,
		
00:47:23 --> 00:47:26
			because they had some issues or,
you know, for whatever reason, so
		
00:47:26 --> 00:47:29
			they took them to the hospital to
be circumcised in Canada, the
		
00:47:29 --> 00:47:33
			first baby boy was taken in. And
when the procedure was happening,
		
00:47:33 --> 00:47:36
			they tried to do the circumcision.
They butchered it by accident. It
		
00:47:36 --> 00:47:39
			was like a malfunction, the
machine malfunction, and it
		
00:47:39 --> 00:47:43
			completely burned this poor baby's
genitalia, like completely off. So
		
00:47:43 --> 00:47:46
			now you're faced with the problem
of how will we fix this, they
		
00:47:46 --> 00:47:48
			obviously took their babies home,
both of them the second one they
		
00:47:48 --> 00:47:50
			didn't even attempt to do
circumcision, they were
		
00:47:50 --> 00:47:54
			traumatized, obviously, was a big,
big problem. And then who do they
		
00:47:54 --> 00:47:58
			fall into the clutches of they
heard about this vamp, very famous
		
00:47:58 --> 00:48:04
			doctor in America by the name of
John Money, who was making a lot
		
00:48:04 --> 00:48:08
			of money. Ironically, his name is
like, so creepy to me that his
		
00:48:08 --> 00:48:11
			name is John money. He was making
a name for himself and a lot of
		
00:48:11 --> 00:48:15
			money, doing * reassignment and
* change surgery
		
00:48:17 --> 00:48:21
			to us, and he basically managed to
lower them to his hospital and he
		
00:48:21 --> 00:48:25
			was like, I can fix your baby.
He's this, we can fix this. And
		
00:48:25 --> 00:48:28
			these parents had no hope. They
were realize they were in despair.
		
00:48:28 --> 00:48:31
			They were kind of thinking how is
our child going to grow up and be
		
00:48:31 --> 00:48:34
			a healthy man? How is he going to
be married and have children?
		
00:48:34 --> 00:48:36
			Right? So he was like, Oh, don't
worry, don't worry, I got this. I
		
00:48:36 --> 00:48:39
			got this sec. You guys are in good
hands. Just hand him over to me.
		
00:48:39 --> 00:48:43
			I'll fix this. And so what he
convinced them to do was to
		
00:48:43 --> 00:48:48
			basically do a gender reassignment
surgery on poor Brian and turn
		
00:48:48 --> 00:48:52
			Brian into Brenda turned him from
a male into a female baby and just
		
00:48:52 --> 00:48:55
			raise him as a girl. And so panel
Well, this man was Did they do a
		
00:48:55 --> 00:48:58
			surgery? Or they did they just
decided we're gonna raise him as a
		
00:48:58 --> 00:49:01
			go, did they? Or did they actually
do a surgery?
		
00:49:02 --> 00:49:05
			Because this is a very complicated
process like scientifically and
		
00:49:05 --> 00:49:08
			medically, yes, there were
multiple different surgeries. It's
		
00:49:08 --> 00:49:12
			not even Oh, he had to endure a
lot of psychological and physical
		
00:49:12 --> 00:49:17
			and emotional distress. And he was
very, very boyish. Basically John
		
00:49:17 --> 00:49:21
			one his theory was, it's all
nurture. There's no nature. It's
		
00:49:21 --> 00:49:26
			all the same, like if we just
rewire enough generations, with
		
00:49:26 --> 00:49:29
			enough time we can just like
rewire everything. It is
		
00:49:29 --> 00:49:33
			impossible because John when he
did his best, and he can do it.
		
00:49:33 --> 00:49:37
			What happened was Brian, as Brenda
he was very boyish, she was very
		
00:49:37 --> 00:49:40
			masculine, very rowdy,
rambunctious loud, all the
		
00:49:40 --> 00:49:43
			stereotypically masculine kind of
little boy behaviors that you
		
00:49:43 --> 00:49:48
			would expect he likes. They tried
to give Brenda little doll houses
		
00:49:48 --> 00:49:51
			and dolls to nurture like a mom
like with her baby. That's what
		
00:49:51 --> 00:49:55
			little girls do. Brenda hated it.
Brenda would rather have machine
		
00:49:55 --> 00:49:59
			guns and like little toy guns and
tinker with trucks and cars and
		
00:49:59 --> 00:50:00
			she
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:02
			played with her brother. She was
actually the leader because it's
		
00:50:02 --> 00:50:07
			really it's the older of the two
brothers. Yeah. So and then the
		
00:50:07 --> 00:50:10
			younger brother, the younger twin
just followed her around. And you
		
00:50:10 --> 00:50:12
			know, they wrestled, they played
in the mud. It was just it was a
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:16
			mess. She was picked on in school,
everyone follows something off
		
00:50:16 --> 00:50:21
			about Brenda, or teachers. You
know, they were very distressed
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:23
			that how she was acting, she
always came home dirty. The other
		
00:50:23 --> 00:50:26
			kids did not like her because the
girls thought she was a very
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:29
			boyish girl. And and she wasn't a
normal girl because she wasn't.
		
00:50:30 --> 00:50:33
			And the boys didn't like her
because it's a girl. I mean, it's
		
00:50:33 --> 00:50:36
			a freaky kind of weird. She's
weird. So it was SubhanAllah. It's
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:39
			like a very traumatizing thing to
go through. Anyway, long story
		
00:50:39 --> 00:50:43
			short, when they were adults, are
actually one when he was 14, this
		
00:50:43 --> 00:50:47
			for boy decided, You know what? He
found out the truth. He said, No,
		
00:50:47 --> 00:50:51
			I want to go back to being a male.
I'm a boy. I'm not a girl. And he
		
00:50:51 --> 00:50:56
			named himself David. So David
Rhymer. And then what happened was
		
00:50:56 --> 00:50:59
			he committed suicide later in
life. And his brother Brian, the
		
00:50:59 --> 00:51:02
			younger twin also committed
suicide. So I think he did
		
00:51:02 --> 00:51:06
			experiments on them didn't hate on
money. He did this is this is the
		
00:51:06 --> 00:51:09
			part that is also really sad. I
didn't want to go into too many
		
00:51:09 --> 00:51:12
			tangents. But yes, he did
experiments, like very sexual in
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:16
			nature, when they were children,
when they were 234 years old,
		
00:51:16 --> 00:51:20
			experimenting with the sexuality
of children and two siblings like
		
00:51:20 --> 00:51:23
			having them do very disgusting
sexual acts. This is why I say he
		
00:51:23 --> 00:51:26
			was a pervert. And he had a lot of
father issues like that John one.
		
00:51:26 --> 00:51:27
			Yeah, I read about him.
		
00:51:29 --> 00:51:33
			Very, like strict and very
authoritarian. And he was a soft
		
00:51:33 --> 00:51:37
			boy, John Money was when as a boy,
it was softer. He liked music he
		
00:51:37 --> 00:51:41
			liked, you know, thinking and
psychology and things like that.
		
00:51:41 --> 00:51:45
			So his father, I guess, didn't
treat him in a certain way. And he
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:48
			always saw his father as like the
villain. Yes, General hated
		
00:51:48 --> 00:51:52
			masculinity in general, he had an
issue with masculinity. But you
		
00:51:52 --> 00:51:52
			know, sis,
		
00:51:54 --> 00:51:58
			definitely want to, we need to do
a reaction to what is a woman? I
		
00:51:58 --> 00:52:00
			don't know whether you've seen the
documentary. Have you seen it?
		
00:52:00 --> 00:52:01
			Yes. Okay, girl, we do.
		
00:52:04 --> 00:52:07
			But you know, one of the things
that I wanted to mention, as you
		
00:52:07 --> 00:52:12
			were talking about, you know, what
they turned into this, what they
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:18
			turned this little boy into, which
was basically a freak, right. And
		
00:52:18 --> 00:52:22
			since this is a podcast
conversation about womanhood and
		
00:52:22 --> 00:52:29
			being a woman, I really do see an
attack on womanhood that's taking
		
00:52:29 --> 00:52:33
			place in front of us. And one of
the groups that I I
		
00:52:35 --> 00:52:37
			don't know why.
		
00:52:38 --> 00:52:47
			But I, I am so incensed by what is
happening with young girls being
		
00:52:47 --> 00:52:50
			encouraged to transition to be
males.
		
00:52:52 --> 00:52:57
			And being allowed to get on
puberty blockers, and have double
		
00:52:57 --> 00:53:02
			mastectomies. And hysterectomy is
because they've been convinced
		
00:53:02 --> 00:53:07
			that they're in the wrong body,
and that being a boy will solve
		
00:53:07 --> 00:53:10
			whatever issues they're having.
Right? And those and the thing is
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:13
			I've I've read the transition
stories.
		
00:53:14 --> 00:53:19
			And if you if you are, God says,
it's so it's so funny to hear you
		
00:53:19 --> 00:53:22
			say this name, because I had my
own period, not that long ago, I
		
00:53:22 --> 00:53:26
			was obsessed with D transitioning
and male to female to male
		
00:53:26 --> 00:53:29
			transitions and female to male to
female transitions. So it is so
		
00:53:29 --> 00:53:32
			interesting and fascinating to me
to hear another Muslim sisters
		
00:53:32 --> 00:53:35
			talk about I thought I was like,
weirdly, like, fascinated by that.
		
00:53:35 --> 00:53:42
			Because it's so crazy. It's, it's
so crazy, it is so pervasive. And
		
00:53:42 --> 00:53:48
			what I can't stand or what makes
me so angry, is how these woke
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:56
			marketers keep pushing trans
individuals, as this beacon of
		
00:53:56 --> 00:54:01
			coolness of beauty of you know, I
can't stand it any more to see
		
00:54:01 --> 00:54:05
			them pushing this agenda in
adverts in their videos in the
		
00:54:05 --> 00:54:09
			films, I can't stand it. And you
know what, it's got nothing to do
		
00:54:09 --> 00:54:12
			with a person's gender expression.
It's got nothing to do with that.
		
00:54:12 --> 00:54:14
			Because at the end of the day,
everyone's got their own journey.
		
00:54:14 --> 00:54:22
			But but but where I draw the line
is where no one is being real with
		
00:54:22 --> 00:54:28
			these young people, about the
consequences of getting on that
		
00:54:28 --> 00:54:32
			journey towards transition. All
they do is tell them, you'll be a
		
00:54:32 --> 00:54:35
			new person, right? It's almost
like a conversion, right? It's
		
00:54:35 --> 00:54:38
			like, you know, you'll be like a
newborn baby. All the issues that
		
00:54:38 --> 00:54:41
			you had before the dysphoria, the
feeling uncomfortable with
		
00:54:41 --> 00:54:44
			yourself, the discomfort with the
opposite * or your feelings
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:48
			towards the same *, whatever it
is that you're facing right now.
		
00:54:48 --> 00:54:53
			You clearly are trans and once you
transition, there will be this
		
00:54:53 --> 00:54:57
			heaven awaiting you and your whole
life will be will be better and
		
00:54:57 --> 00:54:59
			the reality of their * that
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:04
			These young people are now facing
and CES, what breaks my heart.
		
00:55:04 --> 00:55:05
			It's done.
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:12
			It's done this thing they can do
once you've had that phalloplasty
		
00:55:12 --> 00:55:15
			No, no, forget about it. Because
that's not where it starts. Once
		
00:55:15 --> 00:55:18
			you've had the double mastectomy,
you've had the hysterectomy,
		
00:55:18 --> 00:55:20
			you've been on hormones and your
voice has changed. And you're you
		
00:55:20 --> 00:55:23
			know, you're you're, you've got
that Adam's apple, you've got the
		
00:55:23 --> 00:55:27
			facial hair, right? I see those
poor girls who've had their
		
00:55:27 --> 00:55:31
			* cut off, right? And they d
transition. And they're like, I
		
00:55:31 --> 00:55:33
			know, I'm not a boy.
		
00:55:34 --> 00:55:37
			But how am I a girl, look at the
kind of girl that I am, I will
		
00:55:37 --> 00:55:41
			never be a mother. I can't, you
know, like, who is going to love
		
00:55:41 --> 00:55:46
			me, as I am now. Um, they've
basically it's literally like, a
		
00:55:46 --> 00:55:51
			Freak Factory. And I say this in a
in a sense of not not pointing the
		
00:55:51 --> 00:55:55
			finger at anybody. But literally,
if you, you're putting them in
		
00:55:55 --> 00:55:59
			this limbo, where they're neither
boy nor girl, they're just an
		
00:55:59 --> 00:56:02
			oddity. And nobody knows what to
do with them. And they don't even
		
00:56:02 --> 00:56:06
			know what to do with themselves.
They're, it's shocking to me.
		
00:56:06 --> 00:56:10
			Exactly. It's pushing this new,
androgynous being neither female
		
00:56:10 --> 00:56:14
			nor male, neither feminine or
masculine in fertile as well. In
		
00:56:14 --> 00:56:18
			fact, they're all They're sterile,
they're androgynous. And they
		
00:56:18 --> 00:56:21
			don't know. And you know, what
I've read and watched a few of
		
00:56:21 --> 00:56:25
			these stories myself, and what the
common denominator that I think I
		
00:56:25 --> 00:56:31
			see is a lack of belonging and
aspire, like a longing to belong,
		
00:56:31 --> 00:56:34
			yes, this is what I see peep,
these people are longing to belong
		
00:56:34 --> 00:56:39
			somewhere, some sort of tribe, and
it often stems from the family. So
		
00:56:39 --> 00:56:43
			it's very important to emphasize
and highlight tarbiyah, the
		
00:56:43 --> 00:56:46
			importance of tarbiyah, the
importance of the mother, and the
		
00:56:46 --> 00:56:49
			importance of the Father, in both
of those parents, you need both
		
00:56:49 --> 00:56:53
			parents, and how that affects
children when they don't have it.
		
00:56:54 --> 00:56:58
			And so a lot of these poor girls
and sometimes boys, but a lot of
		
00:56:58 --> 00:57:00
			these poor children, they don't
really have a very close family,
		
00:57:00 --> 00:57:03
			their parents are distant, or they
were raised by single mom, or the
		
00:57:03 --> 00:57:06
			Father is not in the picture or
whatever. Both parents are out
		
00:57:06 --> 00:57:09
			working long hours, and this kid
had to raise herself or he had to
		
00:57:09 --> 00:57:14
			raise himself. And they fall in
the fall in with a bad crowd,
		
00:57:14 --> 00:57:17
			usually online. And usually, this
is yeah, this is what I was gonna
		
00:57:17 --> 00:57:20
			say, Right? Is that, you know, a
lot, I don't know about the
		
00:57:20 --> 00:57:23
			parenting side of things, because
obviously, I've seen, you know,
		
00:57:23 --> 00:57:27
			these these girls who are like,
like, I couldn't explain it to my
		
00:57:27 --> 00:57:31
			mom, like, I couldn't tell her for
it, you know, whatever was going
		
00:57:31 --> 00:57:34
			on, but it's online, isn't it?
That's where the groom is, they're
		
00:57:34 --> 00:57:38
			being groomed. They're being
groomed all the time being
		
00:57:38 --> 00:57:43
			groomed. And and it's and like I
said, it's what what hurts me is
		
00:57:43 --> 00:57:48
			that they present this trans
identity, like, like you said,
		
00:57:48 --> 00:57:52
			like this loving family, right?
This loving, accepting family
		
00:57:52 --> 00:57:57
			comments do you are, you know, we
love you, as you are bullsh. Sorry
		
00:57:57 --> 00:58:03
			to say if it's not true, and what
hurts is when you see, you know,
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:06
			young people, like you said,
looking for belonging, looking
		
00:58:06 --> 00:58:10
			for, you know, sometimes looking
for an identity, looking for some
		
00:58:10 --> 00:58:14
			kind of status, looking to be
different, somehow looking for
		
00:58:14 --> 00:58:18
			people to look at them and say,
Wow, for something, right. And
		
00:58:18 --> 00:58:22
			they go into this into this cult,
slash community, whatever you want
		
00:58:22 --> 00:58:25
			to call it, and they get drawn
down the rabbit hole. They do
		
00:58:25 --> 00:58:29
			these irreversible and very
expensive procedures that they can
		
00:58:29 --> 00:58:32
			never come back from really most
of them that once they go to
		
00:58:32 --> 00:58:35
			surgery and cutting and all that
they can't come back from that
		
00:58:35 --> 00:58:39
			right fully. And even though the
doctors tell them it's reversible,
		
00:58:39 --> 00:58:41
			and you know, you can stop at any
time. Again,
		
00:58:42 --> 00:58:46
			not true. But they go down this
rabbit hole. And then if at some
		
00:58:46 --> 00:58:51
			point, they realize this hasn't
solved my problems, I'm still
		
00:58:51 --> 00:58:55
			depressed. I still have anxiety, I
still feel scared.
		
00:58:56 --> 00:59:00
			That was never the problem. My
body was never the problem. It was
		
00:59:00 --> 00:59:03
			my mind. And they have to try and
make a way back out of that
		
00:59:03 --> 00:59:06
			community. That community of
course shuns them completely. So
		
00:59:06 --> 00:59:09
			that belonging that they thought
they had they loot they risk
		
00:59:09 --> 00:59:15
			losing that as well. Right. So I
can't I it senses me. No, you're
		
00:59:15 --> 00:59:18
			absolutely right. It's all a
mirage. Like it's all false. You
		
00:59:18 --> 00:59:21
			know, the reminds me of Shipe on
you know, tripod, like why may I
		
00:59:21 --> 00:59:22
			do commercial Bong.
		
00:59:23 --> 00:59:27
			Bong does not promise you anything
except deception, or lie. I think
		
00:59:27 --> 00:59:29
			this is one of the tools of
Shaitan in the modern age that
		
00:59:29 --> 00:59:32
			we're living in. And it's
deception, everything that they
		
00:59:32 --> 00:59:35
			promise you is for this, just like
feminism and everything that they
		
00:59:35 --> 00:59:39
			promised women is false. And so
this for young girls, they're
		
00:59:39 --> 00:59:43
			being promised a lot of false
things that, you know, when they
		
00:59:43 --> 00:59:47
			test that theory, like oh, the
acceptance theory, you come as you
		
00:59:47 --> 00:59:50
			are, we love you. You're going to
welcome you with open arms. As
		
00:59:50 --> 00:59:53
			soon as you d transition and you
try to leave that community.
		
00:59:53 --> 00:59:57
			You're blackballed. You are hated
you are called names and so these
		
00:59:57 --> 01:00:00
			a lot of these girls become
severely depressed
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:02
			suicidal, suicidal
		
01:00:03 --> 01:00:06
			depression like they were already
exactly exactly how they're
		
01:00:06 --> 01:00:08
			depressed that they're being
picked on by the very community
		
01:00:08 --> 01:00:11
			that they thought they had. And
then they just, you know, they are
		
01:00:11 --> 01:00:15
			become suicidal and it's tough.
It's really tough. May Allah
		
01:00:15 --> 01:00:17
			protect our children, all of them
because the thing is, you know,
		
01:00:17 --> 01:00:21
			when you read the boy, that the
male to female, trans male to
		
01:00:21 --> 01:00:26
			female to male D transitioners.
Again, same thing, you know that I
		
01:00:26 --> 01:00:31
			remember one one guy saying like,
I cut off my, my member.
		
01:00:32 --> 01:00:37
			I'll never get it back again,
like, so. So now you did this
		
01:00:37 --> 01:00:40
			thing. It's just it's just, it's,
it's really
		
01:00:42 --> 01:00:44
			I love how somebody said this
before, I'm sure it was Mike Walsh
		
01:00:44 --> 01:00:48
			or somebody but like when they
look back in history, and they
		
01:00:48 --> 01:00:52
			look at this period of time that
we're living in now. And the
		
01:00:52 --> 01:00:57
			injustice, and like you said, the
deception and whatever else is
		
01:00:57 --> 01:01:01
			going on behind the scenes that
produce this abomination. I don't
		
01:01:01 --> 01:01:04
			know what they're going to say
about what we were thinking, you
		
01:01:04 --> 01:01:08
			know, as a society like what were
they thinking? How did they think
		
01:01:08 --> 01:01:11
			this was gonna end? May Allah
protect us all and protect our
		
01:01:11 --> 01:01:14
			children says, you know, we could
carry on for another hour, but we
		
01:01:14 --> 01:01:18
			mustn't, we have to do a bot to
insha Allah does EcoLog Kulu Hey,
		
01:01:18 --> 01:01:23
			thank you so so much for this
amazing conversation. I want you
		
01:01:23 --> 01:01:26
			back. I want us to do some
reactions. I want us to do some
		
01:01:26 --> 01:01:29
			reviews. I'm sure that all the
viewers do as well. How can they
		
01:01:29 --> 01:01:32
			find use this and to read more of
your work? And also tell us more
		
01:01:32 --> 01:01:33
			about life school?
		
01:01:34 --> 01:01:37
			Oh, yes. So just like the last
night it was really like I have a
		
01:01:37 --> 01:01:40
			lot of fun with you sister Nyima
our conversations like I feel like
		
01:01:40 --> 01:01:42
			I don't know how much time has
passed it feels like five minutes
		
01:01:42 --> 01:01:43
			in my head but
		
01:01:44 --> 01:01:47
			so just like a love hate all I
really really had fun. I always do
		
01:01:47 --> 01:01:52
			with you. But basically so wife
school inshallah I don't know when
		
01:01:52 --> 01:01:56
			this video is going to air, but
probably after we start but wife
		
01:01:56 --> 01:02:00
			school is going to from the from
today, when we're filming. It's
		
01:02:00 --> 01:02:04
			actually on Friday, October 14,
which is the end of this week
		
01:02:04 --> 01:02:09
			inshallah. But and it's basically
it's going to be online, and it's
		
01:02:09 --> 01:02:12
			through Elesa Institute, which is
my husband, Daniel, help you
		
01:02:12 --> 01:02:16
			produce Institute, which I help
out with. People can also find me
		
01:02:16 --> 01:02:18
			on Facebook, if you just look up
on Khalid
		
01:02:19 --> 01:02:23
			I'm i right on Facebook, links in
the description, guys, the links
		
01:02:23 --> 01:02:25
			will be definitely in the
description. Insha Allah.
		
01:02:26 --> 01:02:31
			I'm hoping in sha Allah after you
run the wife school for one, you
		
01:02:31 --> 01:02:35
			know, module one, one cohort, I
hope that it will be available
		
01:02:35 --> 01:02:40
			again in sha Allah either recorded
or, you know, live. Yeah, so the
		
01:02:40 --> 01:02:44
			idea of it is basically it's a
live class. Oh, so this is kind of
		
01:02:44 --> 01:02:47
			a cool thing that I got this idea
of talking to people through just
		
01:02:47 --> 01:02:50
			like the commenters and people who
send me messages in my inbox,
		
01:02:51 --> 01:02:53
			which I have to if you're you're
watching this, and you sent me a
		
01:02:53 --> 01:02:56
			message in my inbox that I have
not replied to for months, and
		
01:02:56 --> 01:03:00
			once a month, I really apologize.
Why I'm so sorry. It basically I
		
01:03:00 --> 01:03:04
			go for a while. You must be the
same way sister name or I don't
		
01:03:04 --> 01:03:09
			know. But I go for a while without
the luxury of free time to sit and
		
01:03:09 --> 01:03:12
			actually check my messages. And
then every now and then I'll be
		
01:03:12 --> 01:03:14
			like, okay, oh my god, it's been
like six months, I gotta, you
		
01:03:14 --> 01:03:18
			know. So I try. I try my best. But
basically, a few of these ladies,
		
01:03:18 --> 01:03:21
			I noticed a pattern in my messages
that I'm getting from Muslim
		
01:03:21 --> 01:03:24
			women, young Muslim women
sometimes. And they're just
		
01:03:24 --> 01:03:27
			talking about all, like, just
fears and concerns about wife
		
01:03:27 --> 01:03:31
			hood, getting married, trusting a
man being a wife to a traditional
		
01:03:31 --> 01:03:34
			husband, what does any of it mean?
Should I I'm in med school, should
		
01:03:34 --> 01:03:35
			I quit?
		
01:03:36 --> 01:03:39
			You know, all of these different
things? Like, can I be a mom and I
		
01:03:39 --> 01:03:42
			were a working mom, all of these
things. And while here they're not
		
01:03:42 --> 01:03:46
			alone? I these are questions I've
dealt with myself. So I'm familiar
		
01:03:46 --> 01:03:49
			with that struggle and that
feeling of these like conflicting
		
01:03:49 --> 01:03:53
			things? Yeah, people basically, I
can see that this is something
		
01:03:53 --> 01:03:57
			that's affecting all of us. So
what I thought was nice would be
		
01:03:57 --> 01:04:02
			like actually necessary is to have
live conversations. This but it's
		
01:04:02 --> 01:04:04
			also recorded. So inshallah idea
with live school is it's going to
		
01:04:04 --> 01:04:07
			be two hours every week, it's on
Friday. And then you basically I
		
01:04:07 --> 01:04:12
			will talk for about 45 minutes to
an hour. Try not to go on for too
		
01:04:12 --> 01:04:15
			long. But then after that, there's
going to be an hour to an hour 15
		
01:04:15 --> 01:04:20
			minutes of just back and forth and
people have q&a, because I think
		
01:04:20 --> 01:04:24
			that's what's missing, I think
genuine conversations are I feel
		
01:04:24 --> 01:04:28
			like sisters need that and we need
to kind of hash things out. Kind
		
01:04:28 --> 01:04:32
			of Yeah, and with personal
situations as well. So you'll have
		
01:04:32 --> 01:04:35
			to run another cohort then next
year live whenever you can fit it
		
01:04:35 --> 01:04:38
			in your schedule in sha Allah to
Allah. But for now, since I'm
		
01:04:38 --> 01:04:41
			going to bid you a farewell just
like hello here and for joining me
		
01:04:41 --> 01:04:44
			it was absolutely genius, like I
said, and definitely we can get
		
01:04:44 --> 01:04:47
			some videos in together but isn't
Allah and for those of you who
		
01:04:47 --> 01:04:51
			stuck with us, what were your
thoughts? What were your takeaways
		
01:04:51 --> 01:04:54
			put them in the comments. You
know, we'd love to see what your
		
01:04:54 --> 01:04:57
			aha moments were. What you loved
what you did not like what you
		
01:04:57 --> 01:04:59
			agreed with what you didn't agree
with. We want to
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:02
			See in the comments in Sharla so
make sure that you've given the
		
01:05:02 --> 01:05:05
			video a thumbs up that you
subscribe to the channel. We're on
		
01:05:05 --> 01:05:09
			our way to 50,000 subscribers and
you can help us get there. So help
		
01:05:09 --> 01:05:12
			us sister out, subscribe to the
channel and we'll see you on the
		
01:05:12 --> 01:05:16
			next conversation. I'm Kylie.
Salaam Alaykum Warahmatullahi
		
01:05:16 --> 01:05:16
			Wabarakatuh