Naima B. Robert – Unbreakable Beyond Divorce Discovering Your Innate Resilience and Confidence Rayesa Gheewala
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the], [In this segment of a transcript, the speaker discusses the importance of finding one's "fit minor" in rebuilding one's life and finding one's "fit minor" in finding one's "fit small." They also emphasize the importance of learning and taking action to achieve success in life and being rewarded for it. The speaker provides tips on how to connect with oneself through various mediums and offers support for women in their careers.
AI: Transcript ©
Bismillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Salam aleikum wa
rahmatullah wa barakato. Welcome to Session Four of the Muslimah
self care conference. This session will be led by recepie wala, the
divorced Muslim, a coach, and she is going to tell you who this is
for, if you did not know already, but I'm just wanted to welcome us
as the race and thank you so much for being here. Everybody who's
here live, because I couldn't allow for it. And I know that it's
been a long day and I want to thank you for being here. And
everyone is in the Facebook group as well. Thank you for being here.
Take it away, sis. Bismillah awesome. Smilla rahmanir rahim.
Rubbish. Matthew said Anyway, YESTERDAY I'm really waffle off
with Amelia Sani fo Foley. A salaam aleikum, the library get to
who thank you for that warm welcome. I'm really excited to be
here. And I'm just going to have some slides I'm going to share
with you so I'm just going to share that and we'll hop right in
right from there.
Okay, so welcome to the Muslimah self care conference. My session
is about being unbreakable beyond divorce, rediscovering your innate
resilience and confidence and I am Raisa que Allah, I helped Muslims
whose marriage has broken down to come back to their true whole
healed self, their Phaedra and be unbreakable so they can take
charge of and step into the beautiful life they deserve to
have with clarity, fearless confidence and innate resilience.
This is my this has become my mission, with an overall vision of
supporting women and children to be whole healed and healthy in
order to have healthy families in our own mind.
So I just want to take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate your
time, and your investment in joining me here today in this
supportive, safe space. And just to take a moment to close your
eyes, take a deep breath. And just ground yourself center yourself
with making an intention of why you're here and what you'd like to
get out of this. Let's find Allah has brought us together and
inshallah this will be a beneficial session to move forward
in our journey.
So
okay, so in this workshop, you're going to learn the formula to be
unbreakable, through the pain and chaos of divorce, and beyond
regardless of your external circumstances. So and what self
care really means and what it looks like. And number three,
where resilience and confidence come from and how it relates to
self care. All of this no matter how crazy chaotic or complicated
your situation is.
So have you ever felt like a failure because your marriage
didn't work out.
And as your marriage was breaking down, so were you
and now you're feeling burned out? Bitter, resentful, angry. And
last.
I want to take a moment to just pause and say here and to reflect
you know, I'd love for you to share in the chat Who here has
ever felt this way? And if you haven't if you if you didn't feel
this way, share with me what you did feel.
Okay, yeah, so we got a whole bunch of responses here. Yes. As
to
relief. Yes. In my first marriage. Yes, my son
Again, no, I have felt this way.
And disappointment at times. My second marriage, I felt relief.
Currently feeling this way I'm going through a difficult and
tough time with my marriage, which is new.
Not married but excited about this session. Yeah, and thank you
ladies for sharing.
What you know if this if you if these are the symptoms or the
feelings that you've experienced for sharing what you've gone
through, and a lot of people do say relief, it's like this sense
of relief that they can breathe again.
I feel exactly this way and asking that question brought tears to my
eyes. I am still married. Yeah, yeah. And you know, there's so
many women that are feeling broken, that are feeling just like
just the thought of it just going to that place in your mind is so
emotionally overwhelming. That it just, you know, the tears start to
well up in your eyes.
You know, just being in that space.
Yeah, I feel this way. I appreciate you ladies. Just so
vulnerably sharing and connecting.
Let me
my first was hard to let go. By would have been haram to stay.
Yeah, I hear you, I hear you. So let me go back to sharing here
because I can't see the chat. So I have to stop my share and go back,
I can't see the chat. So I'm gonna go back. It's really annoying the
way they've done that they really make you able to see the chat when
your slides are up Laila a lot. Well, you know, it's okay, I'll
make do with it. Just go back and forth. And we'll keep going.
So, thank you for sharing with me how you felt. And so what I've
found is that in order to have that beautiful and successful life
that you deserve, it's all about reconnecting with the two
essential relationships in your life.
And Allah subhanaw taala tells us in the Quran,
I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship me. And
verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find risks. And I
know we've all heard this, we all know this intellectually. But we
today I'm going to share with you a real deeper meaning of what that
looks like, that's going to help you really appreciate how this
relates to our two most important relationships that we're going to
be talking about.
So there was a time when I was going through this myself, I was
completely lost, burnt out hurt and angry, there was nothing left
to me, nothing positive. No hope. It was really hard, hard to find.
No light in that dark tunnel that I was in, I was so spent my time
just so focused on pleasing my husband performing in a manner
that I thought would make him happy, you know, going to the
extent of compromising my values, and even doing things that were
just pleasing to Allah, in order to make my husband's happy and
keep my marriage intact. I was actually the epitome of a people
pleaser. Yet, no matter what I did, it didn't work. And it was
never good enough leaving me deeper in that belief that I'm
just not good enough. Okay, you suck Raisa. And that was the
rhetoric and the narrative that was going on in my mind. You know,
that type of self loathing was the lens that I saw myself through
because I couldn't make my husband happy. Nor could I keep my
marriage intact, and fat, you know, as I discovered later in my
healing journey journey of connecting to
my two most important relationships, but I discovered
that I was a people pleaser in order to feel validated. I was
codependent because my value and my worth and my validation in my
mind was all related to how people my husband felt and thought about
me, and of course, my external accolades such as my marital
status. So, in this desperate situation, you know, living the
way I was living as a people pleaser, rather than a love
pleasing, I realized that that was a form of shirk. And so
desperately and with humility, I had nowhere else to turn, always
relying on depending on someone else, that I just desperately
turned to Allah and I asked Allah for help. And Allah did send me
the help. Right? And so going through this process of the help
that I needed with mentors, coaches pro
Graham's
a people that were sent to me by Allah to help me detach from this
codependent relationship was so excruciatingly painful. Because
when you start stepping into and taking charge of your life or
stepping into the person that Allah created you to be, and then
you are taking back ownership of your life.
And the person that you allow to have so much control of you loses
that control over you, the separation becomes extremely
highly conflictual, and even volatile. They're just not used
that dynamic. And it looks like you're the unreasonable one, the
troublemaker, you know, just because just because you're not
conforming, and then you know, you can, you can be at the other end
of the brunt of the lashing out. So I had relied on my husband to
make all of my decisions. And of course, to do all my thinking for
me, because I didn't know how to think I had no voice. There was no
Raisa right before that, you know, in my parents home, I had
relegated that, or I didn't know, because I just left all of that up
to my parents. I just felt obligated to obey them at all
costs. I looked to everyone and everything outside of me to tell
me what to do, how to do it. And others opinions and advice
mattered so much to me that I couldn't live or function without
it. And yes, this was the dysfunction that I knew as normal
and safe. And as I began going on this deeper into this healing
journey, and be started becoming detached from things and people,
and the remote relationship that I had to those things and people, I
reconnected back to my essential relationships and and, you know,
got back to my fitrah discovered who I really was a valuable,
honored, magnificent creation of Allah. And so it allowed me to
step into that truth and have a new relationship with myself and
to go from this space of internally of self loathing to
self love, of being fooled. Sorry, being filled
with this self love with this love from Allah dude, from the never
ending source, that nothing or no one could fill me that way to be
able to have that strong, solid, secure, unbreakable Foundation has
allowed me to clearly calmly confidently navigate the
challenges of a high conflict divorce in a manner that's
pleasing to Allah rather than just going on my whims and my desires,
and my feelings, and ongoing co parenting conflicts and challenges
where I even had to make the, you know, hardest decision of my life
of letting go of my two older boys, because they were caught in
the crossfire of, you know, emotional manipulation and
parental alienation, where it was, it was healthier for them for me
to step away and for me to let them go.
And with you know, I was able to make that decision from a place of
clarity of wisdom, of knowing that I am letting go and leaving them
with Allah where they belong. And that is, that is the best thing to
do. That causes the least amount of harm.
And you know, Subhan Allah stepping into that space, rather
than and being able to have that intelligent wise thinking that
comes from being connected to Allah, rather than the insecure
fearful you know, hurt
space where you're just acting on your fears and your feelings. And
of course, these these type of shifts in within myself allowed me
to make decisions such as this and other ones that have transformed
me internally, which has reflected external shifts and decisions that
I've made in my life. So I'm just going to check in with you and see
if you guys want to know a little bit about how I got here.
And I'm going to just check back in
the chat again. So I have to just switch back here
see, lots of sisters responding in the chat mashallah, okay, and I'm
right there. I'm just going
to check in with you.
Yeah. Okay. Alhamdulillah Yes, yes. They can even use the
children to hurt you. Yes, absolutely. Hurt people hurt
people and then all the hurt spills everywhere. And
unfortunately the kids get caught in the crossfire. Yes. Um, yeah.
Someone says sounds like you're married to a narcissist. Yeah. You
could say that. Um, well, what if it's not the best for them,
though?
Sounds like you were very turned out narcissist. Again, I well.
Yes, I was. Yes, please. Yes. And you know what,
when you are nurse, a person who has narcissistic qualities and
characteristics, they're very insecure people who need to
control everything and everyone in their life in order for them to
feel safe and secure. And okay. And a person who is doesn't, is
not secure in themselves, and is very codependent and in reliance
on someone else to hand over their control. So it's a very good fit,
it fits. And that's why people who are codependent are attracted to
people with those kinds of narcissistic qualities because it
fits.
And so yeah, and then when that's the dynamic, you know, when you
try to step out of that without the proper grounding, in, you
know, you don't even realize what's going on and just get so
reactive, and it's painful, until you get back to your source until
you get back to your grounding that, you know, I'll show you it
doesn't matter what your situation, your circumstance or
who you're dealing with, you're only getting that test or that
trial, because Allah is giving it to you for a reason or purpose.
Yes, okay. And getting all these Yes, yes, please. 100 But you
cannot have good physical and mental Yes, Alhamdulillah it's not
good to leave your children with them. You know, there's lots of
things and that's the thing is outcomes. We don't we're not in
charge of outcomes, we're only in charge of our intention, and our
effort from a calm, clear,
good wisdom, space.
Thinking, we don't make decisions based on our feelings and our
knifes, and oh, we feel this, I'm going to do it, I feel this, I'm
going to do it. And so, um, you know, I didn't leave the children
with him, they're with Allah, and Allah is taking care of them. And
he knows exactly the experience and situations that they need for
their journey. And Alhamdulillah you know, I also have the hope
that my children will be returned to me the same way as he returned
Prophet Musa to his mother, and the same way that Allah returned
Prophet, Yusuf to his father, Prophet, yeah, poop. So in his
time, in his way, in his manner, and, you know, I have a life to
live and, and purpose and a mission to do and, and, and I can
have beautiful patients the same way they had. Yeah, you know, it
is an opportunity to grow. And it's, it's available to anyone,
you know, we each go through our own tests and our trials. And
Allah knows exactly what he gives us and why. And, you know, you can
get through your storms and your tests and your trials was what I'm
going to share with you next. Oh, thank you for all the hugs, I
appreciate that.
Yeah, you feel like a failure as a mom if you don't protect them. So
thank you for sharing that. You do feel like a failure, but you are
not a failure? Because who is in charge of protection? Who is our
protector, our provider, our maintainer, our Sustainer when we
really believe that, and we act on that belief.
We leave outcomes in Allah's hands.
Yeah, well, it's not there's there's no looking back, you know,
and that how long everything happens, according to my father of
Allah. And so what I'm going to share with you, is going to show
you how to intuitively know what's the answer to that, right? Because
each of us has the answers to our own journey or our own testing and
trials within ourselves. It's not someone telling you it's not going
to give you the answer. Yeah, so thank you so much for really like
you know, connecting being here and sharing and sharing so openly.
What, what you're feeling what this is bringing up for you, and
just being here with me.
All right. So let me get back and I will share with you a little bit
about how you know I
Got here and why I do what I do.
All thank you for the hugs and the love. I appreciate it. I
appreciate all the love. So let me get back into sharing my screen
All right, so
Okay,
here we go. And
I think I might be able to see the chat from here. Let me see all
these functions that we learned.
For zoom as we go, let's see, well, let me keep going. Here we
go, or, oh, yeah, it does. Let me see
the chat. Yeah, okay, cool. So I don't have to keep going back and
forth. All right, let's keep going.
So
today, I am going to show you
how to go from that burn out, you know, to blooming, right, that
self loathing I was talking about to stepping into
inherent true love, because you see it, right. So as we've gotten
caught up in the turmoil of our marriage, the turmoil within us
has built up. And we've lost sight of where true contentment comes
from. As your marriage breaks down, you simultaneously break
down, right. And, you know, we talked a little bit about burn
out, and just what it leaves you with fumes and resentment, and
just, you know, anger and just disappointment. And a lot of
what's happening here is also, you know, there's so much pressure put
on women from a very early age about their role of becoming a
wife and a mother.
Honorable roles, right, and there's so much of our value in
our self worth gets connected to our marital status, it kind of
blends and gets meshes into our identity. And so we operate from
that place. So you know, if this is falling apart, what does that
mean about you, as a woman, as a person, as an individual,
these are all things that, you know, I help women to uncover as
we go deeper into the healing journey. And understanding where
our value in our work really does come from. Because I think we've
all heard this intellectually, we know it. At some level,
subconsciously, we're not believing it because we haven't
been conditioned to. So what's really going on is that you've
placed your well being on a person
or, you know, your marital status. And, you know, people are
fallible, of course, so you're gonna get let down. And that's,
that's the design, right? The design is not meant to work on
being relying on others for our well being the design is that we
are meant to be dependent on Rila and reliance on Allah alone. So
your marriage and a workout, it's not about fault, sometimes the
marriage doesn't work out. And there was still a purpose to it
that you will uncover as you go through your healing journey by
reconnecting to your foundational relationships. So it's about the
how, how are we going to move forward from this and claim back
our life and live a peaceful content, fulfilled life moving
forward, married or not? And some of you may never have had a life
where you consciously claimed, as was the case for me, I never did
until I think
my 40s and so rebuilding, reinventing, reinventing,
consciously getting back to your birthright of your fitrah of being
strong secure, securely connected and rooted in your foundational
relationships actually opens the door to self love and giving
yourself the self care that you deserve and are worthy of because
you exist.
So let's get into what those foundational relationships are.
And let's see here.
I'm going to check in i
Yeah,
trust in Allah and leave the outcome to Allah. Yes. His father
Akbar hugs and loves to you just like a lot of parents like a lot
of parents to Kia and I thank you. Thank you as well. Ah, hugs
mashallah for your strength. Oh, hi. You know what ladies?
Allah made you
already hold
unhealthy and secure. And that strength lies and resides within
you as well. And you know, the strength that you're seeing in me
is, is within you. It just feels like it's kind of lost or hidden
or just kind of buried and you're not able to see it at the moment.
It's there. It's there because Allah made you that way.
I relate. Solo thing I relate, the first thing that leaves you is
your clarity, boom, you're right. mental fog, confusion, just a
heaviness weighed all of it, and you just feel like mush and you
feel drained, no energy, and you just want to go and eat a tub of
ice cream and Netflix binge in your pajamas all day long. Right?
Has anyone ever been there before? Because I know I certainly have.
Yeah, during this thing, forget that Allah has given that strength
to us. Absolutely. Yeah, it's like he is saying yes, yes. Okay, so
let me keep going.
About our foundational relationships. Those are, this is
the formula, right? Your two essential relationships to be
unbreakable.
Because Allah did not create you and give any one or any thing,
power to break you.
We have to remember that you can feel like our circumstance or
situation or marriage or children or health, whatever is going on
for you. It just can feel like it's weighing you down and feels
like it's just breaking you. Well, that's not true.
And so how, you know, we need a strong, secure, solid foundation,
so we won't crumble when the storms come and you better believe
that that's what this life is about. tests and challenges. To
really you know, when Allah says they say they believe and they
will be tested and surely we will. So our relationship with Allah
right? How we're meant to show up in this life is to worship Allah
that comes in many different ways, and be securely attached to our
never ending source. And worshiping Allah is our our point
of our existence here right? And verily, in the remembrance of
Allah do hearts find rest and lists
and how we are experiencing this life is through the remembrance of
Him. And this doesn't mean Oh, yeah, just do your prayers. Oh,
yeah, just make vicar because sometimes we forget to make vicar
right. So remembrance here is really about where is Allah with
you? You know, it's you and Allah on this journey. We you and Allah
before you got here, you and Allah when you came out of your mother's
womb, you want to learn this life, you and Allah and the grade you
and Allah and the afterlife, like it's just you and Allah, no one
else. So Allah has to be with you in the forefront and everything
that you do, every step that you take, every thought that you have
is Allah there with you. That's what this remembrance means. And
when he is there with you, you will be at rest, no matter what is
going on outside of you, no matter what storm is brewing up, no
matter who tries to do what. And so part of this how it works is
that in order to worship Allah, we have to know Allah love Allah, and
we cannot know and love Allah to worship Him if we don't know and
love ourselves, and that comes hand in hand, right? You can never
even truly know yourself. Without knowing yourself through your
relationship with Allah, they go hand in hand, they just, you can't
separate one from the other.
And so this verily in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts
find rest. This is what is meant by the relationship you have with
yourself
how you're experiencing life, understanding that you are
experiencing your life, moment by moment, through your thinking, how
you are relating to yourself.
Right? We need to understand ourselves and know ourselves being
conscious that you are attached to Allah. Because if you're not, then
it's very easy to get distracted and become attached
to something or someone else. And so this, this found these
foundational relationships, this this, this grounding that makes
them unbreakable. It's through having a beautiful relationship
with Allah and yourself. And that's the solution. So I want to
get into I'm gonna go a little deeper into what this means, but I
want to talk a little
bit about the barriers that
comes with not understanding our own human experience of how we are
relating to Allah, how we are relating to ourselves, because
that will give us the answer of how we relate to everyone else,
every decision we make every action we take, or don't take.
Okay?
So let's get into the barriers that I want to teach you about
today, I'm going to teach you and just touch base on the key to your
innate well being your fitrah. Remember, Allah subhanaw, Taala
already created you whole and healthy, it's already within you,
your light, your fitrah is there. So we have been lost in the
misconception, and belief that our circumstance, our situation, or a
person is causing you to feel a certain way, or has the power to
make you feel angry, hurt, upset,
thinking or believing that something outside of you is
causing your feelings,
and not realizing that you are actually living in the feelings of
your thinking in the moment. So this is all coming from inside of
you. Right. And this is how you are really experiencing life. It's
not due to the stuff that's happening outside the
circumstances and situations. Because remember, we don't have
control over that we can try to try to fight and have control over
that. But Allah decides those things, we decide how we choose to
respond to it, right. And this is what I mean by the relationship
with the self, it functions through your reality that is being
created in your mind through your thinking, which feels really real.
And it's been such a you know, a lot of and most of our thinking
90% of our thinking, has been subconsciously conditioned. So
we're not even really aware of it. We're just reacting on autopilot,
right? And we're not aware of it until it comes to the surface
level. And we're become conscious of it.
And so what's what's keeping you stuck? And what is the barrier of
getting to this place, you know, now that I've taught this to you,
or what is getting in the way of actually living this way of
stepping into this truth of how we really work. It's a whole lot of
thoughts and feelings, that is the barrier to you actually having
that good connection to Allah and yourself. That connection that
allows you to be strong, secure, stable and resilient.
No matter what is coming from the outside. And it's kind of like you
know, someone mentioned in the chat about the mental haze, the
fog, the heaviness, the confusion, the racing thoughts, that that is
what I'm talking about here, all those thoughts and feelings is
like a mental haze. And that is what gets in the way of having
that good connection to Allah you can think of it as like a Wi Fi
connection, it becomes weakened, the signal becomes weakened
between you and Allah, your your direct link, which is always
there.
That link that you need to step into the walk, go, which is what
we need to get through these challenges, right? Oh, to step
into that.
To step into Taqwa because we can't have to work on this. We
have taqwa, which is God consciousness, right? So we know
that God is with us, we have nothing to fear, we don't have to
worry, like, you know, like, he's got our back and we know it and we
believe in and we and we act accordingly. So it's, it's like
that poor Wi Fi connection. And that allows you to tap into the
intelligence and the wisdom that Allah has provided for you to know
how to navigate the tests and trials in this life.
And you know, like, you don't have to do anything to get it you
already have it. It's just a matter of, of seeing. And when I'm
talking about seeing I don't mean seeing with your eyes, I mean
seeing with your heart and where your heart is connected, right.
And being in this space of connected conscious
be connected to Allah remembering Him in every moment allows you to
also step into
acceptance of other of Allah. I mean, I've experienced this. And
many many of the women who support and work with have such such a
hard time accepting how they're accepting their marriage is over
accepting, you know any hard difficult things accepting loss,
accepting things not working out the way you wanted or anticipated
or expected them to, to write just letting go and being like, Okay, I
love you. And it wasn't an in the cards for me, it wasn't an Allah's
plan for me. Right. And that can become a real real struggle that
causes a lot of suffering. So being able to step into the that
natural state that Allah created you in effortless peace, the local
acceptance of color, and also of self love, right? That because
you're connected to the source of the source, who is the most
loving, the Most Compassionate, The Most Forgiving, the Most kind,
the most merciful, you're going there to be filled with, like, you
know, a never ending tap. So then you can give it to yourself, and
then you're full, and then you can you can interact with people from
those characteristics that Allah has filled you up with that you
can go and interact and make decisions and show up with a son
with with Allah's characteristics instilled within you of kindness,
compassion, forgiveness, you know, and love, because you have love
for yourself, you can give it out. And so this is what I teach in my
programs. And this is just like the what the how, and getting
deeper into it. And this key of how you're experiencing these two
relationships,
is really how I go deeper in into my programs where I can help you
unpack all of this, to have that deeper level understanding, so you
can have this life that you deserve.
And so, you know, like I said, all these things, a lot of them we
know, intellectually, a lot of sure that things that I'm telling
you make sense, and you perhaps know them, but how do we step into
that. So when we see this with our heart, the mind follows. And then
when we see it with the mind, the thinking follows, and then the
actions follow. So it's those shifts that we have,
through through being connected to the sole source allows us to shift
internally, and show up differently and take charge
differently and respond differently. And guess what, when
we make those internal, like when when we allow for those internal
shifts to happen with it within us, then a lot comes and changes
your external situation. And that door to that opens up, then
outcomes change, when we start to focus on No, this has to go this
way. No, I have to get her to do this, I have to get him to do
this, I have to get my child to do this and, and trying to control
everything and everyone will we're competing with Allah and we're
never going to prevail, because only a love plan prevails. And
that's futile. And that's not the formula, the formula is the change
within within ourselves that Allah, you know, changes the
outcome to, to how he deems is best and we have contentment with
that. So when we have these chips, we automatically step into self
love. And from that space of self love of feeling worthy and
valuable enough to give yourself the self care that you know that
you deserve. And this is how it works. When we just try to do doo
doo doo doo, Oh, I gotta do this for self care that do that. It
feels really hard. And you know, you're like, I just feel like
another thing to do, because this is not about doing without being
you have to be you have to be in that state of being first.
Inherently in order for those actions to externally manifest
effortlessly then it's not it's not a chore to do what you need to
do, it's not a chore to say no, because you're not managing other
people's feelings of how they're going to feel if you say no,
because you know, you own your feelings and they own theirs.
Um, and so you know this.
So when when we have these shifts, we're able to automatically
step into that place of self love and self care.
From a space of confidence, clarity and being able to give
ourselves what you need and the respect that you have for yourself
will allow you to give you what you need.
Right,
and to be able to speak your truth, to exercise your ability to
be a independent, free thinker, a servant of Allah, which, which is,
is what Allah expects of you to think and contemplate and reflect
and then act, because we have to account and own our actions I.
So anything else other than being able to give ourselves that, that
inherent self love and self care is actually self loathing going on
underneath
that, you know, is you might not be able to recognize it, but it
just feels really hard. And like I said, again, a lot of it comes
from not having been having been modeled that type of example, what
that looks like what that means. Part of it comes from not being
connected to our, our foundational relationships of being secure in
ourselves.
And you know, when we are not showing up that way, it's actually
insulting to Allah. Because, you know, the love that Allah has for
us and how he's how he has in the Quran, I'm totally paraphrasing,
but unless my dad tells us that, how he has honored and dignified
and validated us above all creation, like the love that He
has for us, you cannot find that or compare that to anything or
anyone that we can't even fathom that, even as mothers. And so
like, like He created us, he owns us, you know, like you how bad do
we feel when our child talks negatively about themselves? Or
even our friend, you know, like, can you imagine what what Allah
sees when he sees us dissing on ourselves or ragging on ourselves
by not taking care of ourselves in the manner that we deserve to be
to take care of the Amana that unless Mandela has given us it's
actually insulting, it's disrespectful. Because it's all a
gift, it's all a divine gift on loan that we are going to have to
account for.
And then so when you're in this space of self love, even making
decisions about your marriage are you know how to move forward is
going to come with ease, because you're going to have clarity,
you're going to have the clarity to know that what you're doing is
the right thing to do for you. And you're not you're doing what's
pleasing to Allah, you'll be in sync with both of them.
And that's in a very different space to be in, right. So, you
know, my, my invitation to you is to really think about what is
possible for you. Because we've just gone I hope you can see how
much deeper that verse of verily in the remembrance of Allah, what
it means and how important our foundation is, I know what that
means in order it what that means in terms of our unbreakable
Foundation, right? In order to have that beautiful life that each
one of you is worthy and deserving of, according to your maker.
Right. So that means that how you talk to yourself, how you view
yourself, how you respect yourself, how you value yourself
and your time and your choices.
Right. And so there is a reason and a purpose, no matter what
you're going through, and even the end of your marriage or the
breakdown of your marriage, no matter how it ends, doesn't define
you, you know, let it create you that wait for for your
circumstances to define you. And then there's a purpose for all of
it. Right? And that Allah has big plans for you. So don't shut the
door, on the plans Allah has in store for you are waiting for you.
Actually, I want to do a little exercise. With you, I want you to
just come back to this moment. And I want you to when I asked you
this question, I want you to pop in, I don't want you to think
because that will take you away from what you truly, truly want
and believe deep down in your heart. I want you to I don't want
you to think because once you start thinking you're gonna start
thinking about how what if Oh, it's, oh, it's not possible for me
or I don't want you to go there. I want you to just connect to
yourself, connect to your heart. And I want you to write down a
dream you have for yourself for yourself. What is something that
you want you desire you dream? Just don't think write it down?
Come on ladies, no thinking, don't let your mind take you away from
what's truly in your heart.
And don't edit it. Don't second guess it. If you're brave enough,
just share it here. This is a safe
place, and you know, a affirming place here.
Wow, wow, look at this business, my business and writing,
independence, travel the world financial freedom to be successful
at what I do helping others. Look at these awesome things that are
living these dreams, these desires, these,
these things are waiting to sprout out of you. And look at this. I
mean, Allah knows exactly who will be created and why he created
them. And they're just sitting within you. career growth and
financial freedom, being a good nurse. Wow, awesome. Keep it
coming. Ladies, keep it coming. I know each of you has something
within you to be knowledgeable and acquire more knowledge.
Wow, these aspirations, they don't have to die or be squashed, they
can come to fruition. And again, it's not about you getting these,
the way it works, like making it happen. Your part and making it
happen is your intention. And your action doesn't mean that you you
make that you make that outcome happen. Allah will make that
outcome happen the way he deems fit, and he's the best of
planners, right. But you have to take an action step. And sometimes
we get confused and what that is, but connecting back to yourself,
connecting back to your relationship with Allah. And what
is possible for you is not based on your thinking.
Because you're not the one who's making it happen, you just have to
have your intention and your effort. So these, these
possibilities for you don't shut the door down, that something
Allah is waiting for you, you know,
for you to open up
with your own thinking. Because if you don't believe that it's
possible for you, you will not even try, you will just shut the
door. And woe is me, you know, I can't do this, or I can't do that,
or I don't have this or I don't have that right, and we get stuck
and we become our own worst enemy. So I want you to know that you may
not think it's possible, but you're not in charge of that. If,
you know, all Allah has to do is say be in it is so if you know why
wouldn't Allah give it to you? Why wouldn't Allah make it possible
for you, why not. And again, this comes down to how we are thinking
about ourselves, how we are talking to ourselves, how we view
ourselves, how we value ourselves.
And so this is just the tip of the iceberg of what I've shown you in
the formula. And I can't tell you everything in this short session
and what I wanted to really make sure what you got out of this,
this session is really hope, hope and possibility for you to and
what we do in my program is just go deeper into the understanding
that actually makes that happen. The how and the deep dive into
yourself understanding yourself you knowing yourself your patterns
and your conditioning that's been deeply ingrained since childhood
and then emerging as you evolve enlightened highest self like just
like the butterfly emerges. Right? And that takes commitment that
takes a consciously saying yes, not like, yeah, I want to Yeah, I
want to, like I got this all the time and I just and I'm gonna
actually talk about it right now. I get this all the time when when
you know I'm encouraging somebody or I want to give them
some hope and I get back a word that says yes inshallah. Inshallah
inshallah. No. Inshallah means God willing, where are you in the
equation? Where where's your accountability? You say, Yes, you
want it? What are you doing to show that you want it because
there has to be accountability and responsibility in your part, Allah
is not going to come and you know, you know, clean our house for us.
He's not going to like to cook for us or take our children to school,
we got to get up and move. And that's what this life is about.
And so you know, I wanted to leave you with this with this hope and
really to commit to yourself because Allah already created you
whole healthy and valuable and worthy to be committed to yourself
to respect yourself to value yourself. No more blaming, no more
making excuses. This that him or her. Right, and yeah, it's scary
getting out of your comfort zone is
airy, and that's why we all need help, we all need support, we need
a guide, we need a coach, we need a mentor. And that's exactly why I
created, you know, my program. And so I would be honored to support
you on this journey of uncovering this beautiful self of yours
underneath all of that getting helping you get back to your
filter that Allah created you on, so you can step into and take
charge of the beautiful life that you deserve. And so I'm going to,
I'd love to connect with you. And these are the ways that you can
connect with me through my website, or you can book an
appointment and we can talk about your challenges and solutions that
I have in my programs at meet raisa.com You can even go in and
take a look at my transformational program at this bitly link. You
can also join my private Facebook group. And I have many women in
there who who are all in that space of different spaces who have
are even married and were divorced before or married and they want to
they're really struggling in their marriage and they want to do
whatever they can to show up in their marriage in a way where they
are active.
Let's see here. And just to mention as well in Sharla that
sorry, so you can post these direct links in the Facebook group
and we will send them out by email to everybody who signed up in sha
Allah so sometimes a bit easier for people to click through from
Facebook rather than you know from slides and stuff but insha Allah
Yep, please do create a post in the Facebook group with the links
and direct people to whatever you use that you have for them. I'm
sure Mashallah. It's been sisters, like, what are your thoughts? Just
post in the chat, you know, what, what your takeaways are from SR
aces presentation, I found it extremely valuable, Mashallah.
And, really, I like the way that you approach this, this subject
was really refreshing, mashallah, and yeah, I'd love to hear what
the other the other attendees thought as well and show I love,
you know, what their takeaways will be? And yeah, super, super
pleased as I can locate and thank you. Thank you. You took the words
right out of my mouth. I want to hear your takeaways. I want to
hear what you're leading with? What's shifted for you, you know,
and how are you going to move forward?
Yeah, so much to think about, right. Yeah, I know. Right? So
when we take it upon ourselves to learn more, no more. And so then,
you know, like, we, when we know better, we can do better.
honed into my insecurities. Yeah, we all have them.
insightful, very helpful. Yeah, it was painful to you, right? It can
be really painful. Because when you sit and you think about
all that's left on the table, all of your potential, and all of
what's possible for you, and not reaching for it or striving for
it. That is that is an ache, that really hurts your soul because
Allah subhanaw taala created you for much more than you know, we
have, we have no idea what we're capable of, as Allah subhanaw
taala you know, says to the angels, I know what you do not
know about the creation that He created us. So
we have no idea what our potential is until we try and that can be
painful, by by just not going for that. And I know that there's, I
know it's Mr. Nyima, you talk about this a lot about you know,
your legacy, you know, what your purpose is and, and what actions
you're taking. To get you there and not doing that is actually
hurting yourself. And is is harmful to the soul. It really
hurts.
Thank you just like a fire for sharing your takeaways.
You know, and in the Facebook group, I'll pop up in there and
you know, when you learn a lot of
knowledge or information that settles takes time to absorb and
settle the insights and the takeaways they keep coming. So you
know, keep your keep yourself open to get down to downloading new
realizations that that you have based on what you heard.
And I appreciate your your presence your time and choosing to
share this time and share yourself with me in everything that you've
experienced. Is like a law fair.
Oh,
yeah. We both like you. Oh,
um,
Mila was saying when you spoke about the design of relationships
I know you are referring to marriage. However, I had an aha
moment oh I love these.
Any relationship, family, marriage, friendship, parent,
child, strangers, etc. is not based on us depending on other
people it is based on us relying on Allah. How beautiful is this
Subhanallah you're right because if Allah is not between any and
all of your relationships, it just becomes a battle of the ego it
becomes a relationship of the ego and the nests How beautiful is
this additionally, every relation we have with people has something
beautiful to teach us, for us to excel
and be better inshallah for example in many ways, it's about
us learning to let go and realizing that nothing in this
life lasts forever and that this life is nothing but a short
vacation where we get to plant the seeds for the next life insha
Allah thank you for this lovely session. Boom I think that sister
Minella you know really had some powerful insights and shifts I
love that thank you for sharing that
thank you so much Michael a fee or any sign I email heartfelt do us
appreciate that.
Okay, have you been saying I've learned today from all the
sessions that to give to others, our kids spouses and family
excetera we have to be hold. One thing I've taken away from this is
when she said she left her children with Allah, masha Allah
and taking that in everything leaving everything to Allah after
doing my part. Yeah, and guess what says you already are whole
just may not be seeing it in the moment in that haze. Absolutely.
So connecting that to that getting back to
the way Allah created you right? A powerful reminder my situation
does not define me and have color and Allah you guys are nailing it
ladies is all of this is true. And to learn how to be this person
because you don't have to learn how to do it. You already know
that it's a knowing and it's a being and that how process and
journey is what I do with ladies and I program. Everyone here so
much love, appreciation and respect. Thank you ladies.
I'm just blown away by your sharing and opening up and just
you know your presence today. Just like a love affair. I would just
really like to thank you sis mashallah for just coming with
your so much heart and, you know, just just warmth and grace, I
really liked the way you spoke to the attendees. You know, just so,
so lovingly, and so respectfully. And he really kind of, yeah,
because everybody did come mush are allowed to, you know, to share
and one thing that I'm really grateful for is the fact that
everyone who has come to virtual salon and any virtual summit
events, they know that this is a safe space, and hamdu Lillahi
Rabbil alameen and so sisters do feel able to come and to share and
be honest and be vulnerable. So Sis, I want to ask just thank you
so much for you know, making us all feel safe with you. And also
thank you everyone who's here and everyone who's listening for
coming ready to learn with open hearts and open minds. And yeah,
just make dua that Allah blesses us with the very best of our
circumstances allows us to learn from our circumstances and allows
every opportunity for growth that is available to us via evening
Allah and put some Baraka in it from beginning to end Amin so
assists we'll see you hopefully in the Facebook group after this
insha Allah but that is we are closing out day one of the Muslim
or self care conference.
Everyone Yes, yes. I'll see you bright and early at 10am.
Inshallah tomorrow for all our high flying or aspiring high
flying business women professionals, action takers go
getters for sisters are a session but for now I will bid you
farewell. Does that allow fairness sister ASA Subhanak Allahumma
Robina behind the eyeshadow in La ilaha illa and we're starting to
look at when I told boy like I said I want a gun. When it comes
to land elaborate get to him