Naima B. Robert – The Intimacy Conversation How to Get More Action in the Bedroom featuring Baba Ali
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AI: Transcript ©
Hello YouTube series reminded series back in 2006. And then
other people know me for the other videos and many people know me for
my half our game project over 2000s to kind of people have found
over half and been running this project for about 12 years now.
And for the last 10 years, we've been doing live events, we're
bringing lessons together to help people meet each other and in a
natural way, no speed dating, none of that nonsense while staying
within the halal boundaries. Now hamdulillah it's been quite
successful. Our last event in Toronto, we had 57% of the
attendees on the match. This is unheard of, we do things
differently. So I've been trying to tackle issues that we have
within the Muslim community in a different way. And 100, Allah, our
success happens to be very different than everybody else. So
I encourage you to try to explore the different things that are out
there against being within the halal boundaries, and see they fit
whatever may not be working for you now, maybe there's a better
way to doing it. So one most common things we get asked, that
comes up quite a bit, not necessarily for through half our
days, but maybe through just general conversation is how do I
get more intimacy? And this is a million dollar question like Why
do men do what they do? Why do they build these empires? Why do
they work so hard? Why do all this stuff what is their main main
motivation, their main motivation is the opposite gender, pulling in
the opposite gender, this is why men do what they do. They're
inspired to do what they do. And if there was no females in this
world, you'll see a bunch of men doing this.
But there are many men that are not doing this. They're doing this
but you're actually working and doing all this stuff, because they
know men who do nothing and sit there and are not ambitious, and
do not work hard and do not get educated and do not make the
income, they are not likely to get the type of wife that they want to
get married or even get married at all. But those who happen to be
more successful happen to attract better women and quality sisters.
And naturally, we know that 90% of the sisters are right now looking
to get married, or not married 90% of brothers. In fact, the
statistics show they're all chasing 10% of others, and who are
those 10%. Those are the ones who happen to be more successful. Now,
once these brothers and sisters all get made, and everything's
going well. And then some things don't go well. And people start
having issues and challenges and things you don't hear about. In
fact, we never hear whispers about intimacy. Even though in Islam,
all this stuff was clearly given this, this is not something that
we as Muslims should shy away from. This is something we should
be sharing and learning from each other. Obviously not obviously,
the detail they're not supposed to talk about. But as far as what our
Dean says we should be looking into. But unfortunate because
we've lived within Christian countries. And those Christian
countries naturally have an influence even among the Muslims
who live among them. People have now Muslim, look at this type of
things about intimacy in a very shy that shy but in a shameful
way. Like is as the Christians look at as more of a sin. But as
most of it is not a sin. In fact, you get rewarded when you do it
correctly. But the problem is because we don't really look into
it very much and understand how the opposite gender functions and
what makes them happy. And what makes them pretend there's a lot
of problems within our bedrooms. And many people have don't know
what to do with their frustration. Many men who are now all suddenly
into marrying a second and third and fourth wife, you say
mashallah, this better, probably had a lot of ambition to provide.
You can't afford the first wife. So where's his motivation coming
from? He wants to work twice as hard. He doesn't know. There's a
lack of intimacy. And then he doesn't know what to do. So he
says, Well, if I'm getting this once a week from this person, if I
marry a second one, maybe I get twice a week.
Yeah, good luck on that. It doesn't work that way. So I want
you guys to think about this, I'm going to talk about different
analogies. So you guys can kind of like, visualize a little bit makes
a little more sense. And I'm gonna try to explain how men see things
and how women see things. So in short, it makes a little more
sense on both sides. So we can understand each other because we
understand each other, you're more likely to reach the goal that you
want to get to. But if you keep trying to do things with your way,
and your way is just the stuff you see, you're not going to get very
far. Because if you've done if you're if it's working for you
right now. So while you're watching this video.
This was breaking down from the very, very beginning and talk
about how we're very, very different from each other. And
it's a quick job analogy before we move ahead, or if it's better to
talk about second, third, fourth, fourth life, and you're not
realizing what other requirements is involved. It's not just
intimacy, there's all the other things are pieces into it. I want
you to think about this way.
Let's just say you have a job. And your job is great job. It's an
amazing job. But you just look at your paycheck and you're like,
every so every two weeks or so they give you a check. That's all
the hard work you do. And you look at it and you like us. Excuse me,
sir. But yes. Why is this number so low? I think there's a lot
because zero dismissing and be like oh, let me check that they
check up. That's correct and they get back to you like Oh, okay
and they're like what happened? Well I think I should be paid more
and I'm not getting paid more so now you have two options you can a
go talk to the employer see what you can do to get more money work
for a raise and stuff like that or be you can go get another job that
pays the same work twice as hard and just get two paychecks
obviously the most people choose the first one Why don't we go get
a second job and be like I lose more time and other things was any
work with the first one he was going up but with most Muslims do,
they go and get a second job without saying the first job that
I got a second job. But you know, I'm talking about
first of all, you start making second job joke was their first
job Hey, Boss, what do you think about me? If I if I got a second
job? The boss like, well, I don't really like that idea. Well, why
would you get a second job when you're already working here? Well,
I was joking.
If you're not, if you're not offended, I'm not joking. But if
you're saying I'm joking, and the boss like you're way acting weird,
and his boss never laugh at the second job jokes. So what happens
is that you start getting these people, the boss trying to get
jealous and concerned and worried about what he's talking about in
the games that you're playing, and blah, blah, blah, because you can
barely work here. Like you're not even working here very well.
So oh, you go back to the first thing, what am I doing wrong? What
can I do better here, that will give me more pay. Because there's
oftentimes if there if you can do stuff that's better for your
employer. And obviously, your wife is not your employer. But you
knew. Now if you've been in this situation, you're more likely to
get paid more. And this is the angle that most people don't look
at. So what's going on? What's wrong? Well, the first thing I do
is understand how employer thing, we're gonna have an employee
thing, right? Again, we're using a job analogy, but we really talked
about intimacy. But the little kids are seeing the room. They're
walking around mama Baba, what is he talking about? I tell me about
John's kid growing up, I just keep playing with your toys. Okay, so
going back to this again, let's talk about how each side looks at
intimacy. All right, so let's just imagine this, imagine a cup of
water. By the way, when we learn this stuff, it'll help you a lot
when it comes to dealing with the opposite gender, when you're
coming with your wife or with your husband trying to get them to come
to the world that you're trying to see the world in your lenses
inshallah. So this magic, two cups of water, all right, when the cups
of water are full, your spouse, male or female, would want to be
intimate. All you have to do is surf the cup. So the first
question, you're asking me about least? How do I fill up the cup?
Easy for the men, guys, you know, your cup is like a faucet is
turned on? It's just some people that it's
it's like a flooding, right? So that process in that cup of being
full, right, as a cupcake. So now you're hungry. And you have that
urge of intimacy, and the craving for intimacy and this and that.
That's it. Right? And that's easy. For sisters. Oh, how do I get my
brother, my husband to be more intimate? It's much easier for the
sisters, because it gets to the men versus the vice versa, even
though both sides sometimes have issues. But generally generally,
it's easier because men have that faster up and for sisters. Let me
take me out for a minute work. It works very similar to the hunger
like you normally get hungry, right. And as soon as you you're
like man during Ramadan, and you're getting like, the whole
day, you haven't eaten food. And all you can think about is food.
And you're thinking about food everywhere. Everything smelling
like food and drug today you probably haven't smoked too much
food but if this was during Ramadan, and you haven't eaten the
whole day here, some of making chicken with biryani as potatoes,
I feel particularly how do you smell it upstairs in bed because
you start becoming very sensitive to things and that naturally when
all these people who are fasting because they can't get Hey, they
start is more difficult because these urges are everywhere and all
those advertisements and the over sexualization of society makes
even 10 times more difficult. So they're even more stronger to hold
this stuff back in and it takes a lot I think a lot of strength to
push back these urges, especially when you're constantly shown food
on commercials on television and everything. And when it comes for
a third time there are times
when I started doing it, right so you naturally think oh man, when I
eat I can eat like an entire cow. I can either 10 chickens I feed
all these different things. And then once you're served your plate
of food you eat like half of it you know
on full just like Ramadan your stomach shrinks. You think you can
bear for why'd you not really think about it that hey, it's not
everyone can do the same thing takes certain amount of strength,
discipline responsibility.
Think other things but now you have to think to yourself, What do
I craving, you think your credit is more than you actually is. So
when you're getting married, your wife is not functioning the same
way. So this water keeps dripping, dripping, dripping and his biggest
foe and as soon as that water kicks over, which is your
satisfaction of intimacy, stuff like that, you know, brothers, you
are not ready in the next second to go back to intimacy again, you
think you will, but as soon as that happens, you're resetting and
now you need you're okay for a while. That's all the urges are
out. And now you're the wife starts tripping again. Some people
are that take your bathroom or the others, right? But every single
time you need this and sisters, this is how men think it's the
same way just what you ate yesterday, between last week. I
don't want to eat that's helped me think right. So they're thinking
about their next meal right. Now, on the flip side, but there's let
me explain how sisters work.
And this, this cup that I gave for the brothers is nailed down to the
to the shelf. It doesn't tip over very easily at all. There's not
much sisters you can do. If you get the men angry, your husband
angry, he'll still be intimate with you. If you had a bad day,
he'll still be intimate with you. If you had that. You'll still be
intimate with you. Why? Because Oh, I think I haven't eaten the
whole day and I had a bad day you think he's not gonna eat dinner.
Of course he wants to eat dinner. He doesn't enjoy it as much, but
he still wants a dinner. Now for Sisters Brothers not makes me have
sisters work. They have a cup as well. But their cup is not like
our cup is not nailed down to the shelf. This cup drips and at a
much slower rate than yours does. They still have a natural urge.
But not they don't have testosterone in their body, not
the percentage as men do. Men have 90% more testosterone than a woman
does. Right now, again, we're not talking about all men, or all
women are some women that have more higher libido than men do.
But as women, this thing is dripping, but at a slower rate.
But there's other things that you do that makes all this water start
dripping. Like what when you love her when you are kind to her when
you flirt with your wife, he word wife, when you are showing acts of
like the love language is a different depending on who your
wife is and what type of love language you understand. When you
do things that makes her feel loved and cared for. And make her
feel beautiful and amazing. That's to me it's like, it's like taking
water and just dripping it in and taking it in and I can get bikinis
filling it up filling it in. And when that thing gets sore, she's
ready to go. The problem is, unlike us men, that water could be
tipped like that. You say something about her weight. You
say something about her age, you say something that really hurts
her feeling is literally taking the cup and just spilling it like
that. Like you you're like, Okay, I'm ready to go. I say something
we argued. And now we're planning all this stuff for tonight. It's
like, No, I'm done. What? And of course, what are you going to do?
I am going to let me see, oh, I found a hadith regarding the
angels cursing you. And you have to do this and this and this. And
she's okay, fine. Go ahead, do what you want. You're like, well,
this is no fun. Why don't I just get over with?
I don't want to do that.
And that's not what you want either brothers. Yes, you're
hungry, but you don't eat a meal.
Like that. You want the other side to enjoy together? Right? So
you're gonna say, Okay, how do I get her to enjoy. So it's not just
making her force into it or feel guilty into it. But how can I get
her to enjoy because when your wife enjoys, and you enjoy, then
it will be frequent. But if she is not enjoying, you're not going to
enjoy either. Because this is naturally something that's wired
into men. This is why we want our wives to be happy, because we feed
off of that happiness, not just inside the bedroom, but overall in
general. And if our wives were not happy, and we don't feel like
something like we're like something's missing between us.
You know, I'm talking about brothers. So now I think to
yourself, Okay, how do I get this wife happy? How do I make her
happy in the bedroom, so she wants more because they feel like oh, no
water, no water. So small things, small things. And we knock Madison
profits over time before you become intimate with your wife. It
is encouraged for foreplay, right and you do things throughout the
day to build it up. Right and use it again you you will turn that
water into that cup. You have to be very careful. This company
again is not able to go to the shelf. Pay attention to it because
don't come up with all these random second wife jokes. We know
she's sensitive to that. Don't talk about her weight. If she's
sensitive to that. Don't talk about our age. If she's sensitive
to that don't do stuff that's gonna stand self sabotage
yourself. You know, she's not gonna function that like you no
matter if her entire cup is full again. When a wife is angry with
you, literally it's almost impossible for her to be intimate
with you.
And she will not enjoy it because her emotion are wired into her
in a different way, she flows with those emotions, she goes with that
thing. And that's, by the way, what makes her a woman. All that
femininity that you enjoy about her. All those things that she
has, that you really are attracted to, is tied into her emotions,
things that we are not tied into as well. Right? There are certain
things that women find attractive in us that that they naturally
don't have as much. For example, men who are confident women are
more even attracted to, especially if she lacks that confident men
who are very decisive. Many women are indecisive, so they lack they
lack that piece that you have. So they're attracted to a man who is
decisive. A man who knows what he wants, they always use the word
independent, right? We the reason why they keep throwing that word
out is because they're attracted to men who are independent,
independent from like, being a follower independent from their
parents, and they can do things on their own. They're attracted to
those things, right. So you have to think to yourself, What can I
do to also make her attractive in the bedroom? So now? Yes. Okay.
I'm the locker let me think, let me think, let me think, well, you
don't have to think they think very much because they suddenly
they're given to you. Okay, so let me explain to you I know sounds
like for some people, this is common sense. But if other people
I call Islamic sense, like common sense. But for Muslims, it's kind
of like how women are we just talked about it is the Hadith of
the Prophet saw some talks about before you go to your wife for it
to be intimate with her, send her a messenger, and send a messenger
of people like flaming messenger. I said, some guys.
Messenger is kiss, and words, like she, this is how you
intellectually stimulate her. If you did all in here, guys, you
know, you're like this, this is visual. This is why like, if your
wife Wait, wearing laundry and other things, if all this stuff
goes off, right, you know, what's laundry? Are you gonna wear that
your wife who you haven't seen, it's not gonna be the same
reaction as you, you're gonna have for her. But for her, it's this.
So we always talk about the challenges that brothers have many
brothers have with *, right? Because it's visual
stimulation is just messing things up, because it pull you in with
that they know this is gonna get you the pull you in. Now, yes,
there are some systems that deal with that too, but the majority
that deal with their brothers, right. But one thing we never ever
talked about, and I see it my take flights, because I do as you guys
know, I travel around during these matrimonial events, I'm taking
flights and staying there. And while I'm on my computer, do
myself, the person next to me is what she's doing female is reading
her version *, which is, you know, the book, erotic things.
Like the man with the No, has no shirts. And he's like, in the
wind.
And his wife is holding on to it as a wife, I know who she is.
She's holding on to his arms. And she's looking at him. And he was
like,
if you say that they don't use graphics, he's all into it. That's
probably for her. Now, why is this? Why do women generally read
all these books? While men are generally into *,
there's two verses of *, because this is a written version,
which is uses her imagination, because women, if they're
intellectually stimulated, and you get all into that stuff, then
obviously with you not with this goofy goofball who end up.
But I'm just saying, like, you have to be that one that
intellectually simulator. And you build it throughout the day.
Right? So when you do that, and her cup gets full, and she is
happy, now she's looking forward to it again. Now, to be fair to
the brothers a little bit because something brothers are very
confused. After the whole thing is over, and your wife had an amazing
time, thinking about value tomorrow when she's done thinking
about what's going on? What did I do wrong? Well, this is the funny
thing. And this is my opinion, take with a grain of salt. I
personally think women enjoy those who do are, are having a positive
experience for intimacy. If the man has a positive experience, and
the woman has a better positive experience. I think the women are
going to enjoy it far more than the brothers do. Why is that? Is
because I don't know we're wired differently, functioning
differently. When a woman's body is ready to go. I mean, you can
keep going main don't function that way. It peaks and it stops.
And that'll reset and peak and stuff. That's how it works. So
this is visualized going back to the common sense to some extent.
There is a microwave and there's the oven, man or the microwave.
is already ready to go.
It says this is ready to go he wasn't thinking about intimacy.
It's like a microwave in less than a minute he's ready to go now
you're you don't know any better and you get married like okay, am
I is my retina ready to go? What's wrong with this lesson? What's
wrong with this? Well, first of all, are you talking like a robot?
I am not talking like a robot. Yes, you are. You're thinking like
a man. She's an oven. What do you do with the oven your pizza on
there? You preheat it. You wait. Home just wait for you have to
wait 1520 minutes, built it up, built it up. So if
You are together in the bedroom, you build it up nothing yet just
kiss her lover, spend time with nerves whisper words to her. Let
her fantasize, you know, to build up a scenario of things where you
going, she never visualized, she will simulate herself for more
than you can simulate her. All through our own imagination. Where
are we right on the beach? And where are we on the island, blah,
blah, blah, blah. Use your imagination. Take her there,
right? And she will it will her body will start preparing itself.
So when her body is ready to go, she's far more likely to enjoy it.
Then you just throwing it up a pizza to the oven is exactly why
this thing burns. The violin broke the top of his bed and the whole
thing is cooked properly. Because you're treating it like a
microwave. It's not a microwave. You know what the microwave? You
You are the microwave.
If you defer these and now you're like okay, I get it. I sweet topic
throughout the day. I do all these things. And then when I'm in the
bedroom now what about me? How do I make this positive experience?
Well, this takes practice. No matter how much this society tries
to teach you that oh, this was good. This were intimate. It's
gonna be like the first time you guys be intimate together epic,
probably pretty clumsy. Things are going wrong. It's like, it's like
me putting you in a
they need to get a flight. I put you in a plane and says, Man, this
plane?
Have you read this thing?
That's a woman's body. By the way. There's 100 things that you're
maneuvering in and you're trying to validate and guess what you
did? And you crash? And she's like, uh, is that it? Are we over?
And you're like, I think so. I don't know what happened but and
you're like, man, don't look down upon yourself because this is
normal. With more practice, you'll get better at whatever you're
doing. And you go back to it and get better and better and what you
have to do is when I press this button, what happened? She didn't
respond very well. I thought that she would like it. Well, I just
thought that
she liked that one as you present it so you are learning because
there's no manual here guys, you're learning by listening and
speaking and interacting, what she likes what she doesn't like and
every plane is different. And then after a while eventually you'll
land your plane
and she lands are playing she is on cloud nine she's a go get like
what go get again again she wants to go again and again again and
again until you don't want that What are you talking about? So
that tells me that's one of my reasons I think they enjoy way
more than men do eat as much as you enjoy they enjoy more they're
the ones asking you never to stop when to make eversafe We don't
ever never gonna stop we will beg you please don't let this plane
ever let it keep going around and eventually we're going to land I
want to land for sure but let us fly around for a while we just
took off. We made Do they just take us to crash land like a
rocket ship is as high as a rocket ship. Oh, by the way, you press a
button
and you're done. That's a rocket ship. But women are playing. They
don't fly like that they take off and you guys know as you take off
on any flight, they say all right, put your seatbelts on. No atronics
For the first time 1000 feet and I swear you guys are once we get to
this is your bow bow the captain speaking once we get to 10,000
feet then take out your electronics and also give you guys
some desserts and bla bla bla bla bla bla that's the plane too as
she takes off that's the intimacy foreplay part you can't take off
like this we take
it is building up building up that thing once it gets to the altitude
that need to go to is going
to have as as enjoying and doing and flying it doesn't want to land
it bangs you please pilot please do not land we want to land safely
but we please do not land by the way Pacific show 10 to 15% of
planes Neverland okay that's a different statistic for different
times. What we're talking about here is how do we make sure this
whole experience is going to be really really positive as I just
mentioned so so quickly this just make sure I cover this is you
listen you against everything within the Hello boundaries you
listen you see what she enjoys what she does enjoy focus on what
she's enjoying what you figure out what you're doing right take
mental notes continue doing this way if it's not working don't do
that way anymore. He doesn't like this some people like lighter some
people like more aggressive some people more like this everyone is
different. See what she enjoys and if she enjoys trust me she's gonna
come to you next week and say hey, how flight school this just go for
another adventure
you celebrating?
Yeah, that's how it works. But when we don't know and you don't
like and the fight doesn't want to take off anymore and you're
sitting at the at the airport, and in the hangar, you have the plane.
You bought a brand new plane, you work so hard for it. You work your
job and you save money and you pay for a wedding and the mother and
everything and the plane sits there in the hangar and there's no
pilots. You want to
What should I do? And some of you are like, maybe I should buy a
second plane
to my face, you guys see what I'm saying. So for sisters, it's much
easier for you, because you don't have to maneuver 100 different
things to make your husband happy. It is literally a rocket ship is
almost impossible for the husband not to be happy in the bedroom.
But I will give you some tips. If you want to increase his libido to
make it more often that you would enjoy it. There are certain things
that men like and sometimes men don't pay it. The reason why they
don't say is because they are they sometimes concern of the reaction
of their wife, or what you're going to say and stuff like that
men really, really enjoyed at home, when you dress nicely for
them, when you dress around the house nicely for them. So when you
are dressed up in bikes, you're fully covered in the club, and
hijab at home, and there's nobody at home except for you and him.
He's like, why are you constantly covered with everything? Like I
only see your eyeballs at home, I understand if you're out. But why
are you like this? Well, I feel comfortable. I still get married
to a home, and when no one's doing this.
Okay, and then he doesn't have visual stimulation. See women they
need that verbal stimulation to keep them going. He needs visual
stimulation from you. And then when you do get eventually to the
bedroom. What again, you're wired differently. So for him laundry
works and then feel why it works. There's something that's
programmed into the man's mind that they liked variety. You know,
all these men who talk about second third fourth wife is this
variety that they are attracted to women are not necessarily wired
the same way. Right. So with the men are naturally wired to have
different females. So what you can do to to click into that part to
satisfy that checkbox is when you dress in different Andres in
different outfits, that fantasy part of him checks. And when you
check that it's much, much easier. Now brothers, let me give you some
tips on what you can do for your wife.
Women has this certain thing every day that resets, I tell my wife,
it is the worst bank in the world. She's like, What do you mean, I
say you are the if you are a bank, you be the worst thing in the
world. Every single day. I go and I take my phone and I checked my
if I if you're an app, and you're on my banking app, and I clicked
it to see how much is my in my checking account? I would say
zero. And I'll be very confused. Because yesterday I deposited 50
pounds, or $50. And there is no money in it. Yes. Because every
day she'll say the bank. Hi, I'm the bank. I see you have a
problem. So I'm here to answer your questions. So yes, I do have
a question. I deposited a $50.50 pounds into my account yesterday.
It says zero. So yes, that's how our bank works. I'm like, what?
Yes, this is how every single day, no matter how many times you say I
love you, and I appreciate you, thank you for everything you're
doing every set every day. So you have to constantly make these
deposits to keep this bank happy. Otherwise, you're gonna close your
account. So what
what happens is you're like, Okay, why would anyone invest in this
bank, because this bank does something that your bank doesn't
do right now, I'm not talking about interest. But whenever I put
any type of deposit into the bank account, they multiply it in ways
in I can imagine, and they give it right back to you in ways that you
can do yourself. That's what makes us attracted to our women, our
wife, right, so this is what makes it different. If I can give my I
can build a structure called the house and worked so hard and
purchasing the view as the paperwork, here's my signature,
and I come up with four white walls and a roof. My wife makes
that house into a home. I can't do that, if something is wired into
her. So when I show love to her and compassion to her and
appreciation to her, she takes all that multiplies it and give it to
me in dividends in ways that have nothing to do with the bank
account. But in all these other accounts, I'm like, What is this?
Here's your breakfast. I didn't ask for it. And I did this for
you. And I took care of this for you. And she wants more intimacy,
she wants to do everything she can to make you happy.
And even the parts we don't realize, we think is just
everything about this intimacy. This is this, and this is this.
Know, if you find ways to go above and beyond to make her happy, and
make her feel loved. She'll naturally want to be intimate.
She's wired that way. But it's not the natural hunger that you have.
And that's the problem. We think the way we do. And they think the
way they do. And there's very little communication to discuss,
why do you think differently or you even think differently, and we
try to counter all the problems with the way we would want to
solve it. So if I can't fix this problem, I'll just go, I'll just
go to the second one. That's not going to fix it. Now. I'm not
against the second white thing or third whitening, but if it's for
the wrong reasons, right? Make sure it's the instinct to provide
and to take care of not just okay, I can't figure out my first wife.
Let me go marry. Second. That's not how it works. Make sure your
first life is taken care of. Make sure your second wife isn't here.
Make sure all the way they take care of both. For the record. I
only have one wife, and I'm only one white person but I'm telling
you, a lot of times I see these people chasing these things and
when you
really, really dig down to it. It's the intimacy issue. It's a
million dollar question is the topic of this room? How do we get
more intimacy? And believe or not, I can guarantee you 90% of
brothers have never had this discussion with their life. What
can I do to get more intimacy from you? And many sisters, they don't
know how to communicate it properly? Well, you've got to be
just a dummy. Something very general and very vague. And men
don't think that way. Why give them clues. He doesn't understand
your clues. Right? It's funny that they have this, the non Muslims,
they say, If a man is interested in a woman, as a woman, if a woman
is interested in the match, you have to give three verbal clues.
Three of them before he catches with the hopes that he'll catch
one of them. So when you're at home sister that you're married to
your husband, and you tell him something, he may not catch it.
You have to do things multiple times, not because not paying
attention is because his brain is not wired to be paying attention
to details. You see details. He doesn't. Well, I just this meant
I've moved my body this way. And this tells him that I don't like
it. No, say I don't like what you're just doing right now. I
like when you do this. Men need to be why is it to be told directly
because his brain is wired is very simple brain. He can do things
with his brain that you can do with your ears. And you can do
things with your brain that you can do with this. We're just
almost built as differently. So the way he communicates his
upbringing system communicates he has to be literally told this this
this even though it's clearly obvious for you, right? So
sometimes when his sister is talking to another sister, and she
doesn't like something or like something she doesn't, or she's
like, she's I think the smallest thing and the other sister picks
it up, right? So they try to communicate the same way with your
husband, that can be problem. He doesn't pick it up. He doesn't
know what you're mad. They know you're happy. There's no it's like
sometimes what you're frustrated or he came back. But how many
times does a woman be able to pick that up? And brothers you know,
I'm talking about if it's not your wife, maybe it was your mom when
used to come home and everything was perfect. As you know that you
had a good day today? How do you know? And you come home one day
and you haven't said a word to her always says salam alaikum what
happened? Let me what happened. Something happened today. I didn't
say anything, something happened and you're frustrated. I can tell.
I didn't say a word. Why? Because the smallest detail that you don't
even realize that you're getting off, she can pick up. And it's the
same thing. When women have issues with their husband, they realize
there's a certain thing that you're not telling them something
to pick, they're picking up bla bla bla and they picking up stuff,
you don't even communicate it. Now what's happening is the female
thinks you can do the same thing. So when she's frustrated or mad or
even in the bedroom, sends you signals, she's hoping you're
picking the stuff up and when you're not. They see that oh, he's
ignoring it. And he's selfish and he's frustrated as that and then
she starts resenting you and this comes back to miscommunication
again.
And that's my two cents about intimacy. So I don't know if
anyone has any questions, but I hope that you guys got some
insight in some of these things. Inshallah, if you did, ask you to
hopefully give me your dollars and if you find it beneficial
Inshallah, but
you guys want me to come on board and tell you guys how to get more
intimacy? Yes, and it works. It just like allow hate and that was
a big two cents Masha Allah Tabata Cutler thank you so so much I
think you know gave people a lot of food for thought Masha Allah.
And yeah, lots of great analogies make it really easy for people to
kind of get what you're saying. And I think you know that you've
actually echoed some of the themes that have been you know, brought
to the to the forefront by other speakers communication for
example, you know, the difference between men and women and how they
process things etc. So Allah hamdulillah Yanni, I think we we
have a theme going, so that's great. Masala. Does that look
cool? Okay, before you go about that, I would love for you to let
people know how they can take up that offer that you mentioned in
the marriage conversation, because I remember you mentioned that for
UK people. They have been really excited by the success stories
from half Dean, and they would love to come and take advantage of
your generous offer but they don't know how could you tell them
please inshallah.
So last time, we were on our call for those who missed it. We were
just we had a different plan by the way. So what happened was we
just had a call and then somehow in the during the conversation, I
said, You know what, let's do something for the UK people. Let's
give them a year on half partying for free. And we said this, this
give it a shot. Now, I didn't. Before that whole conversation we
didn't have time to think about at all and after the call was done.
It's okay. Because otherwise I'll have a leak ready? I'll have
something like hey, go to this website. And then you get your
your Korean somebody, we didn't do it, but they just go to my IG. And
I didn't know we're gonna be doing it today. I think we you mentioned
it in conversations, but I just remembered that you're busy. I
would have to go back to the IG thing again. But this time we'll
have to cap it at a certain point because I realized that some
people watch the video at different times. So somebody who
may be watching this video on July 30, which is a day to day some of
you may be watching it in the future. So will will
Keep an eye open for at least a week. So if you contact me in the
next week on my Instagram, you can catch me at real Baba Ali, on
Instagram. And I will give you a year free now I want to be
transparent. We are not necessarily in the UK market. We
are basically in the US and Canada market. Now we are trying to one
day come to the UK. But what their challenges for the UK is when you
come to the website, and it's only always like 200 people or 300
people, they're like, oh, this kind of people here if I leave. So
if that doesn't work for you, then don't take the offer. It doesn't
really make sense, right? Some people say look, I've tried people
here it hasn't really worked out I want to explore elsewhere. Like my
For example, many of you guys may or may not know my wife is from
the UK. And my first success story is a husband from the US actually
from Los Angeles, and his wife is from London, UK. So I we've had
multiple situations where people happen to be overseas or different
countries, and they it worked out very successfully for them. Now
that may not be for you. So it may not make sense for you. But I'm
hoping inshallah our our goal is to eventually come to the UK, but
I want to do things a little bit differently than everybody else
has done it. And one of the ways we are doing things differently
inshallah is to do matrimonial events. Now you I know you're
wondering, okay, we already have natural movements. No, you don't.
You have speed dating events, which are not designed for
marriage, those things are designed for dating, right? This
is why a lot of these Muslims they go on and dates and stuff like
that. These were designed for people who want to meet in a three
minute quick surface level, see each other physically see if
you're attracted to them, and then try to pursue marriage for them,
which is ridiculous. It doesn't work. This is why most people come
back with horror stories and not success stories. When I show my
numbers out of what kind of events we had, the lowest rates that I
remember that we've had this year was 48% of the events that we've
we've done 48% of our attendees found a match. Now if I come and
give that to any fee, getting organization does get impossible,
we don't really get 10% or 5%. In fact, they don't even know what
their percentages, we know all the data and all the stats and we
figure things out. And we're able to capture this thing. And we keep
tweaking things. We don't use beginning. There's no
interviewing, there's no brother sitting there and your sister
sitting down and you asked each of these these questions in the
person's interrogating the other person, the other person sweating
those shatter over there with the stick. Okay, well, you say there's
none of that stuff. So this is, by the way, this is why a lot of
these men don't go to these events. Why would I want to go to
an event and get interrogated by a bunch of chaperones? I don't I
don't even know who you are yet. And you're grilling me in three
minutes. I don't want to go. What we do is we attract men, we
attract marriage minded men, and get me to how much we attract
them. They get on flights. They booked hotels, they get Ubers. And
they come to our events. In fact, nearly 25% of our attendees,
people are people who travel as far as the UK, believe it or not.
And like what they came all the way down from the UK to the US.
They say yes, they do. And they come from Canada all the time. And
I'm in Los Angeles, by the way, we've had events in Chicago and
different parts of the US and Canada. And many people just the
last event I did in Canada, in Toronto, a sister said, I can
always come back to stand for this event. Now you want to do okay,
verbally, what is going on here? When you do things differently,
you will have different results. And when people are getting
married and their success after success after success, everyone's
learning? Where are these events? Can I go and experience this? The
problem is that there's nobody else doing it. I'm the only one
that runs these type of events, every single other organization
just speaking or some form of it, and it doesn't work. And I don't
know why they follow it like it's so non what they do, and they'll
never go away from it. Even though it doesn't work. I don't know why?
Well, one reason is because it's very profitable. Speed Dating is
very easy. All you have to take it take people's money, give them a
seat, even though you know they have zero chance. We don't do
that. Only about 27% of the people who apply for events can see about
73% chance. So if you try to come to my London event, I'm trying to
hold the London event later this year in shop for the first time in
12 years. This will be our first ever London event. If you try and
you listen to it, I'm excited about it. Where do I sign up?
There's a 73% chance you won't get in every single person camping.
And we do it in in people like whoa, this is the hardest event to
get into it is the hardest it's what people fly. They fight and
don't be surprised if this was like the ticket to give you a
comparison. Let's just say are you at the bench was UK event. I want
you to imagine how when you I'm telling you people fly in I want
you imagine we're doing an event in London. And you asked his
brother where you're from he says France and this person from
Belgium and this person from Spain this guy came from Italy must come
back from Italy the other guy can come wait like what? Yeah forgot
people from Switzerland? Are you serious? You guys all came into
into Heathrow and then that's expensive flight with the with if
you add all the hotel and the Ubers and all this stuff. Yeah.
And he came all this way to meet you.
And you all complain about I can't find any serious Muslim people.
This is how serious they are. That's why people pay and what
they pay for my events, by the way is double of what they pay for
sweetbay speaking in what they do for you, they say hey,
Come on in, we got some dinner for you. We got three course meal, we
got all these different things for you. And then why did we do all
that stuff because it seems doesn't work. So they feed them
good happy to go home with a horror story, but they got their
stomachs full, we only have food that we don't have dinner, we
don't need to give dinner. Oh, wow, you don't have dinner, we
don't have dinner, we just have some finger food, some appetizers,
maybe some drinks. That's it. People who pay for our events,
they're not coming for that. They're coming to get married, you
want to go there, go to a restaurant, I'm sure what 50
pounds, you get a much better meal than you get a sweet deal.
Right. So our goal is to help you guys get married. The reason I
came on today's show, inshallah is not to promote my product at all.
My whole goal was here to help you guys with those who are married to
stay married. And one of the ways to stay married is to make sure
the bedroom things are going well. And if things are going well,
usually in the bedroom, as my grandmother used to say, she used
to say if everything's in the bedroom, everything's good if the
marriage to very simple person, but it's obviously it's not
talking about. So look at the code, you can contact me through
the Instagram, I will leave it for at least a week. So you have until
August 7. So if you're kind of new to Instagram, I will reopen this
again, we did close it out for a while but reopen it again for you
guys and show up because I love what you guys are doing here. And
by the way, I don't benefit from it. All those people who are
joining my
one year free on thing, I don't I give you full access. Like I'm not
charging you anything. If you decide to stay on then you your
subscription starts one year from now. But if you if you cancel
within the one year will remove you now if you the only reason why
I've been hesitating to do this, by the way, again, is because
sometimes if something is free people will join. And if they
don't use it for a few months, then the account just sits there
and looks like someone's not using it. And that's not good for the
entire website. One thing we do with our website is we want to
filter I don't want a million people like mismatch and meander
and salons and stuff like that. I don't want a million I want like
1000 or 2000 marriage minded people who are serious, if you're
like wanting to do dating, and you just want to be like whatever
nonsense, go to some other website, I don't need you on my
website, who will who's gonna tell you that by the way, I'm looking
for the married people, I'm looking for quality, I'm looking
for that perfect. I want to 1000s to count your success stories
again. And again. And again. That's what I'm looking for. I
don't need a million people. This is not a money making machine. For
me. This is a success machine for me. And for anyone who comes to my
events and has seen the way I do things a bit different. You know,
compatibility, all that kind of stuff. You can tell this guy's
passionate about what he does. It's not like he's sitting there
counting money, like, whatever, it's different. The mindset is
different. And I'm, I'm chasing success, like the way people chase
money, right? I'm tweaking, I'm trying to make things better, and
show that hopefully you guys get to see you guys one day in London
for those who are in London. And in Canada, we're having an event
to actually follow me on my instagram, you'll see where things
are. I'm not here to advertise, but still be there. So I want to
make sure we focus on this topic here in Charlotte. But for your
guys who are listening to this. Again, I'm not offering this
anywhere except for this program. If you're listening to this,
there's a huge benefit because you just made yourself $84 And that is
the price that someone's gonna pay for annual subscription every
single person that comes up everywhere else is pretty much
paying except for the people who are right now listening so if
you're in the UK, and you're listening right now you have
you're one of the few exceptions are actually getting a paid
membership now getting a 10 day or 30 Day or 60 day 90 day you're
getting a one year membership plenty of time. Again, I don't
benefit if it works for you. What are you gonna do? You're gonna get
married and you're gonna leave the website. I don't make a penny. If
it doesn't work for you, what are you gonna do you're gonna leave
the website when either way right there's somebody can be my bucket.
I'm doing this for Niomi Robert, because her program is amazing and
what she's doing is amazing. And I want to make sure you guys benefit
from it inshallah somehow for me to be beneficial for you guys. If
it works for you guys to start getting your dogs. Again, we only
have a few 100 people from the UK, our numbers are low but hopefully
with a lot of you people using it maybe you guys all who are
watching this show will meet each other and maybe some things will
come out of that. So hopefully that helps inshallah